plwenable

STRANGE YOUTH.

2013-05-22T04:26:00.000+08:00

Hi, I can't sleep and it's causing me to think. Or maybe I'm thinking too much and it's causing me not to sleep.

Anyway, so here we are. What a world we live in. Man! for a second there I thought was going to have to hang myself in a public square downtown. I mean honestly have you ever been pin on so many times that you eventually end up believing that you're actually doing something wrong. People nowadays can be so over-protective about their emotions, so much so they neglect the fact that other people have them too. What really gets into me is when they take them all out on those who are deemed "fine" and "ok" because they don't show any. It's as if you have to brandish and make a spectacle of your feelings/emotions in front of the entire world to qualify for one. The way I see it, those people live thinking having a temper will make them more dominant and powerful. They literally live off other people's discretion and reconciliation.

It sucks to wake up every single day having to deal with people who think that its ok to do one thing when the impact is on someone else and then completely change their minds when it contrarily lands on them. I guess it's just really easy to put other people down when you're living in your bubble. I know everyone has a right to a point of view but honestly if the only thing those people see is them then they don't really deserve one.

I guess the only pragmatic way to end this post is to urge everyone reading this to be more sensitive to the people around you. Know that things that don't matter to you might matter a tonne to someone else and at least try to show that you care. Don't be an ass and do things to others you would not want on yourself. Seems that's all for today. Thanks for listening(reading). Really needed to get that out.

love you guys,
leiwen. =)

IS THIS THING STILL ON?

2013-03-19T15:30:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, sorry to leave everyone(I really mean no one) hanging for so long. I have always seen this blog as a place where I can express myself like I'm never able to in real life but lately, it has just been a constant struggle with time given the truck load of assignments from college as well as my reproachable tendency to procrastinate and have too much fun.

So yea having said that, I guess it is somewhat of a relieve to get some time off the fast lane this holiday, you know, just being able to kick back and enjoy the sweet serenity of doing nothing. Seriously, I've been sitting around in boxers all day, eating off a peanut butter jar and catching up on some zombie action(I'm so far behind The Walking Dead I can't even...), trying to make time between now and March 21st(Langkawi baby!) magically disappear. Turns out I am actually doing something after all. In fact I was even thinking of heading out for a haircut when I'm done with this post to make my day feel a little bit more productive.

Here's the thing, it's just been non stop for me all the way since college started last year that racing time and sleepless night has become the norm. I do't know if it's the assignments or social obligations that are really consuming me but the point is that my life is so accustomed to being hectic that a moment of stop like this can result in the worst case boredom. Then again, maybe it's for the best after everything that has happened.

Break-ups are never easy. There are a lot of feelings involved and most of them are hard to quell. With all that has been going on, it felt wrong for me to make things even more complicated by putting too many emotions into it. That was why I was being so apathetic about the entire situation. The thing about friendship is that it is in a way like a marriage, where we all have to sacrifice and stick together for better or worse. As far as I can see, when you put a group of people together, there are bound to be infighting and truth is, it's completely normal just as it is completely OK for people to disagree with one another. We're only human. It's just in order to move past that rut and become friends, we have to think outside of ourselves and learn to accept them for who they are. That's partly the reason why I have a habit of putting a lot of faith in people, too much at times.

Sadly there are some who have no intention to make a friendship work at all. There are some who would rather search until they find something they can pull apart. And in a time when everyone else is most vulnerable, they flourish. Do you know how it feel to put so much faith in a person that turn out to be a let down? Having them look you in the eyes and tell you that they never gave a damn in the first place? You can't really blame a person for pulling out of a relationship because they don't feel it anymore, but when it became about all this other irrelevant bullshit, it all seems as if they were never a part of it and that you were on your own from the very start.

It's not very hard to believe how we all got to this point, especially seeing how perfectly it all started and how it went after. Have you ever thought to yourself that things are going so great right now that something bad is bound to happen, constantly edge yourself at the defense line and keep your fist in a ball to brace for what's coming next? Maybe I'm being a complete realist for feeling that way, or maybe it's because I know how awful it is to not be prepared for the worst. Either way, I don't know why did I ever thought that that was worth it because I know for certain that there are at least a few good people around me, a phone call away if not physically, who can look me in the eyes and tell me that they love me. I've got just enough blood in my veins and air in my lungs to know that I'm alive for a reason and that is enough to tell myself aloud that I'm alright.

My lord this post is all over the place. I have no idea how you made it to the end of this but if you did, I guess what I'm trying to say between those lines is that sometimes when things seem like they're falling apart, they are actually falling into place. Sometimes you have to go through the free fall to realise that you're better off at the bottom. People can be disappointing. They can put you down in the worst kind of ways but never ever let that be a reason to not be happy and get in your way of having faith in those who really care.

3 WEEKS.

2012-11-30T07:04:00.000+08:00

3 weeks that I can barely remember since the completion of my first semester at MUFY. You should know that I use the word 'completion' in the mildest sense because as we speak, I'm making a frantic last minute sweep of some Malaysian Studies notes before sitting for my last test of the year which happens later in the morning. Then can I only officially proclaim the end of my semester. Anyway, since I still have a few more hours before I need to prep and leave, I figure I'll drop by here to write something.

Well for starters the days that spanned through those 3 weeks were anything but predictable. First I traveled all the way down south with mom to grandma's, then I took a spontaneous trip up north to Penang with 2 of the best people I'll probably ever know in this lifetime, watched Twilight/Breaking Dawn or whatever it's called, caught up with my buddy of 14 years, switched telcos... is this boring to read yet?

From a more emotional point of view, I have also come to realize within the 3 weeks just how much of doubt my life is filled with. I couldn't be certain of anything, not with my friendships, not with where my life is headed, not with who am I as a person. It's like my life is hanging on this delicate balance that can tip off with the slightest misfit and with that my entire life as I know it will come crumbling down. You might say I'm being melodramatic but truth is I can't seem to ever make the right decisions, or say the right words to please the people around me. My mom always tell me just be yourself but when I do speak my mind, people get upset and I end up taking back words that I used to stand by and swallowing the truth to salvage the relationships that I think mean a lot to me.

At this stage, I guess I still can't be fully honest with anyone and I wonder if anybody can ever really be. There we go acknowledging people as ours bros and buddies or even soul mates when they don't even know half of who we really are. It seems like we are all sculpting our personalities based on other people's criteria. I know I'm making the world seem all pretentious but how else do relationships beyond blood ties flourish when everyone is different in one way or the other. I mean conflicts are bound to occur at some point and somebody is bound to give in the end even though they might not necessary feel the same deep down. Sometimes I think maybe the world is indeed meant to be this huge theatrical act and I should probably just suck it up and accept that this is how it works.

Well, that came outta nowhere. Seriously a few hours ago I didn't even know I felt that way. Guess the mind is at its most honest state at 5 in the morning. Well that's that. The sun is now blazing above the horizon and I really need to go dress up and get going. Sorry if I ran on sentences or my paragraphs contradicts one another because throughout this blogging process, I'm constantly exchanging glances between my computer screen and the Malaysian Studies notes on my desk. Also I just woke up and proofreading isn't exactly in my best interest to do. There isn't really a climactic way to end this weird post so here's an Instagram of Sunway at 7am.

I'M HOME! & I THINK IT'S SOMEONE'S BIRTHDAY.

2012-08-19T03:48:00.001+08:00

How's it goin' people!

Life in college has been so far an amazing and eye-opening experience for me. Everyday is like an adventure and I absolutely love the city vibe! I'm meeting people, chancing upon unfamiliar scenes, learning different things and taking on new challenges, it just makes growing up a so much more wholesome process for me. I feel so grateful and blessed to be given the chance to experience all of it(thank you mom!), but in the end there's still no place like home.

It was a long and bumpy ride but I gotta say the second Sitiawan emerge on the windscreen with those unmistakably hideous swallow-breeding shop houses, floodgate of memories bursts open and drowned my mind with flash backs that warped me back to the days. I felt a surge of humbleness gushing through me and honestly I thought I was going to brake out in tears of joy, but obviously I didn't. Nevertheless it was definitely a sentimental moment for me. It is those memories and feeling of nostalgia that remind me of my roots and the importance of standing by and holding on to them no matter the circumstances.

My time spent back is currently only dished out among family members but I hope I'm able to make some time for my awesome homies too. I really don't wanna let them down but unfortunately I HAVE TO help out at the shop cause it's the festive season, and that takes a lot of time from me, which explains why I'm still blogging at this hour. Gosh look at the time! Ok let's get to the point quick. So the main reason I'm writing this post is to pay tribute to a very good friend of mine whose celebrating his 18th birthday today.

HJ is the most down to earth person you'll ever know. He's exactly what meets the eye and there's no hidden side. That makes him one of the few people you can honestly feel genuine friendship from and also one of the few people you can count on. I can cut all pretenses and be myself when I'm around him because I know he accepts people for who they are and never expect anything more from anyone. He the kinda guy that always see the best in people and don't judge based on other's weaknesses. Hanging out with him really makes you feel like the liveliest person. He has also been really helpful to me academically through out high school, just patiently explaining my questions and never show signs of annoyance or feeling disturbed when I asked too much. I just wanna thank him for being there and let him know how grateful am I to have a friend like him. Happy Birthday bud!

So yea I should probably sign off now if I wanna get any sleep tonight.

Thanks for reading,

leiwen.

3 STRIKES, I'M OUT!

2012-08-17T01:18:00.000+08:00

Last week literally threw me into a melting pot of emotions. My head has been feeding me with feelings I can't ever seem to render and I honestly didn't know what to do with them. In fact I couldn't do anything at all except futilely resisting the emotions that kept me in apathy all week. I tried turning my focus onto my assignments and unit exams but my endeavor kept falling through those emotions. I have to admit I was really lost then. Thank God I have great friends I can laugh and talk with because they definitely alleviated the tension and sorta helped me pull through. Those people truly inspire me more than they'll ever know, but there are just some time in life where you don't even want to be inspired. It's sad I know but somehow, it felt almost better that way.

I decided to leave Sunway that weekend and spend some time at my aunt's place. It wasn't exactly the best place to be during the weekends, with no internet and zero accessibility to anywhere unless you have a car, you pretty much just get do nothing. I thought I'd pay her a courtesy visit but little did I know being there was just what I needed to fix me right up. I took full advantage of things, shamelessly sitting in front of the telly all day like a sore loser while she worries about my meals. Did I mention she's the best cook? More importantly I took time for myself and contemplated those feelings one by one, figuring what to take into concern and what not to, deciding which to embrace and which to just forget. It was a really liberating experience for me, I felt like I've just gone through another stage in life.

Growing up requires you to build self empathy and I'm really glad I have a better understanding of my emotions now. I'm confident I'll be able to handle them much better in the future. Gosh I feel mature already! Now all that's left to do is to mend the damage done, especially to my studies. Thankfully my report paper went well but it's a slightly different story for my unit tests. I mean they weren't devastating but there's definitely a lot of room for improvement. So yea, right now I'm depressed with regrets of not working harder and learning how to set my feelings aside sooner. And speaking of downs, I'm also really bothered by the fact that my social skills isn't improving. It takes a lot outta me to utter the word 'Hi.' even to someone I've already known for more than a month, and I'm STILL eating alone at lunch can you believe it? Sigh. I just suck so much at this "life game" I should probably be kicked out of it.

I guess the only good thing that spurred out of those unpleasantness is more pool action. I did a good 40 laps over 2 sessions for the past 2 weeks. I thought swimming really helped lessen the pressure and tension everything seems to be giving me these days and the feeling I get after every swim is almost out of this world to be honest, although "out of this world" also sometime means 'tired to death'. Well a good exercise never hurts anyone. =)

<3 Leiwen.

ps: Home bound tomorrow after 6 loooooong weeks. I should be happy right?

NOT BAD FOR A FIRST TIMER.

2012-08-04T23:00:00.000+08:00

How's it going y'all!

So my last post garnered more views than I had expected which is always good to hear, especially considering the lack of publicity(Facebook/Twitter spam). But I'm still kinda bummed by the fact that nobody bothered to comment on it. I mean I don't mind nasty comments, of course I prefer nice ones but my whole point of writing that post was to get people to express their viewpoints. Well anyways comment or no comment, let's get on with today's post.

I WATCHED THE DARK KNIGHT RISES! I know a lot of people and review sites have already established the fact, but I still gotta stress that it's a BRILLIANT MOVIE, and a really justifying conclusion to the saga. The plot is so thoughtfully crafted and the action scenes just keep you at the edge of your seats the entire time(You don't even need IMAX for that). I thought the joker was a much better villain than Bane in many ways but this was well redeemed by welcoming addition of Catwoman. Girls who kickass are so hot. Some people argue that there were irrational parts like the rock climbing scene and the whole pushing-the-vertebra-back-in part but I mean it's movie right? Those who wanna pin point at those tiny errors should try making a blockbuster themselves. All in all, I think it's just a wonderful movie experience.

And speaking of wonderful experiences, I PLAYED POOL FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER today can you believe it. After the film, my movie buddies(Kenny, Alex, Jing, Andy, Jessie & Josh) went for a game of pool at the Galactic Laser. We initially went there for Laser Tag but then the girls seemed more interested in the pool table. Compared to watching it on television, which is boring as hell, going hands-on was so much fun. There were two pool tables and the girls occupied one while we four guys took the other. I teamed up with Andy against Kenny and Josh. It was obvious that Josh's team had the upper hand since he played pool before but with some luck and ehhem.. skills cheh, Andy and I won! I guess I wasn't so bad for a first timer.

Carl's Jr after movie. Alex deleted the one with her in it,

can you believe her?

Josh looking so pro with his cue stick.

Yeap, so that's it for today. 2nd post of August cheers! Have a great weekend guys. =)

leiwen.

FAITH AND REASON.

2012-08-01T20:39:00.002+08:00

I've been wanting to talk about this for a long time now. Yet I could never find the courage to ventilate my thoughts. Maybe it's because of the magnitude of the context, which is obviously far too intricate for me to ever comprehend, or just the fact that I don't really know how to argue about something so introspective and personal. But lately it's all that's on my mind and I thought maybe it's a good time to just spit it all out before that impulse is killed again. Gah, can't believe I'm about to do a post on faith.

First of all, I know NOT a lot people believe in the same faith as I do, so you'll probably have to read this as though you're reading my personal diary, as though it's written only for my own eyes. I don't mean to offend anybody but just in case I do, you should know it's purely unintentional and I hope you don't take it into heart. I mean it's just another opinion right? Of course if you don't feel good about where this is going, then you should probably stop reading on.

So here goes. As much as I do believe in the existence of God, I'm not exactly your average theist. I always thought religious proceedings are long and tiring. Prayers also weren't exactly something I would do unless there's a really important exam coming up. But being in a very very religious family, I did reluctantly attended religious camps a couple of times. To be honest, the experience was tedious, almost torturous even and I found myself writhing in apathy all the time. Yet it didn't take a very attentive mind to grasp what they were trying to instill in us, especially when they kept emphasizing on the same things over and over again. I'm talking daylong talks, 5 am meditation, prayers before meals. Basically we were made to go through all of those to understand two simple principles, love and gratitude. Well they obviously didn't mean a lot to me back then, but now, it's all making sense.

To me, religion is larger than God. It's about building people, and bringing out the good in them. What I really love about the religion I believe in is that it makes God look selfless. It moves the spotlight away from God a little and focuses on instilling the teachings of love and gratitude which I feel is more applicable and practical in life, compared to preaching about saints and heaven all the time. God's role in this all is just a teacher. Of course there are some people who choose to look at God as something more, but that's entirely personal. I believe there's no such thing as doing something in the name of God because it's invalid in the context of my religion, which says instead that everything revolves around a reason and a cause.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to say that my religion is doing things the right way and other religions aren't. It's just that with my perception of religion as you have read, I don't understand how can people proclaim that religion or God comes before everything else, or commit to religious associations financially and refuse to support their own family or give to the less fortunate. I don't understand why some people are putting so much of their time and effort into religion but don't even care to take a look at how the people beside them are doing. It's like the only think they care about is their "religious conscience". What about the "human conscience"?

Personally, I don't think people should be defined by religion. For me, I don't want people to remember me as "a good Christian" or "a good Buddhist" or "a good Islam", but as a person who is true to others and himself. I want to know that I'm loving everybody right, or at least as well as I can and that I'm doing everything within my means to make the world a better place. I'm sure God would appreciate that more than prayers or visits to religious grounds. And I think before you can really love and sacrifice for God, you must first learn to love and sacrifice for the people around you. No matter how strong your faith is, always keep yourself grounded and remind yourself who really made you what you are today.

I hope what I said doesn't turn out self-righteous, because that's exactly what I'm writing against. And I also don't mean to question anybody's religion. I'm just really sick of some people using religion to push others around and acting like they themselves are God. I just hope this would justify some of them. Before I sign off, I'd like to quote a verse from the bible which I think sort of concedes with what I'm trying to say.

"1 Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain, faith, hope and love. But the greatest of all these is love."

Love,

leiwen.

ps: Happy August!

SOMEHOW EVERYTHING'S GONNA FALL INTO PLACE

2012-07-14T18:55:00.002+08:00

If we only have a way to make them all fall faster everyday.

Finally. After what seemed like a never-ending week, the weekend has arrived RAWR! *Cheers & applause* Now where do I begin? This week has been crazy, with so many new skills to acquire and so many old tricks to recall, not to mention the ridiculous amount of assignments and exercises, my head might just explode if it wasn't for me fighting to hold in place(not to say I'm strong-willed or anything but, heheh).

Well I'm not gonna bore you with the details of my lectures in this post, just thought I'd share with you guys some of my feelings throughout the entire week. What? A guy's gotta exude his emotions once in a while. Right so, college definitely hit me hard as far as academics goes, especially since I haven't exactly been studious in the past 7 months. I practically attempted year 12 math without any relatively basic mathematical knowledge in mind, seeing that I have forgotten most of what I've learned in Form 4/5. Some sleepless nights and a couple of old school questions did manage to jog my memory abit, but they still didn't come back as fresh as before. And it's the same with accounts. I'm supposed to be learning the same stuff I did in high school but they all seemed so new to me minus the fact it's in English this time. Guess I'll just have to start all over, and hopefully end up further this this time.

In other news, I realised my course mates do speak! Haha. As usual, they were the ones who took the initiative to say hi first and struck up a conversation with me. I feel so much better now that the silence and tension between some of us are broken, but I also feel terrible for acting like such a loner in the first place. Honestly, I don't understand why I can't ever grow out of introversion. Maybe it's the paranoid feeling I get, the feeling that other people won't be able to understand me, that they won't accept me for who I am and what I do, because even I don't seem to get myself sometimes. Insecurity exists, that's why I'd rather keep the doors closed. As far as I remember, I've never really contribute an effort to try and gain other people's affinity or interest, and I definitely don't expect people to show me any but the fact that some people choose to do so anyway makes me feel like a winner. Those people are now the ones I can doubtlessly call my 'best friends'. Sometimes I wonder if I even deserve them.

Well there's a party going on now and I don't intend on missing out.... ON THE FOOD. It's my niece's Birthday by the way. Everyone wish her "Happy Birthday"! Till next time then.

Signing off,

lei, or pang, or wen. whatever suits.

WOWZERS!

2012-07-12T01:33:00.002+08:00

Brace yourselves for another update you'll probably live without knowing.

Well, classes unofficially started today, and all of us(disclaimer: I speak only for myself) were undeniably at some point like country bumpkins seeing downtown Manhattan for the first time. I honestly felt smarter the instant I set foot on campus grounds. There's just this facade of intelligence, and an aura of desire surrounding the college that makes you go sorta like "I WANNA WRITE A THESIS ON QUANTUM MECHANICS RIGHT NOW!" you know? Anyway, you get what I mean. And it's a good thing cause I feel 200% more confident about myself, which almost never happens.

So, my day started of with English at 8.30am, but apparently no one gave Miss Ashley the memo and imminently she ran a little late. Did I mention she's our English lecturer for semester 1? Now where was I, ah. English lessons are always fun to attend and the teachers always seem cheerful and up to some laughter in the classroom. Thankfully it's no exception for college. Miss Ashley is very much a fun-loving person, who awkwardly enough, for 26 year old can't seem to stop talking about hot guys and kpop. I might have been a little left out as I don't really talk about hot guys(duh), nor do I listen to kpop, but it's better than dully sticking to the textbooks all the time. I gotta admit the ice-breaking session got a tiny bit intimidating but thank god I pulled through! And somehow managed to squeeze in some words of praise for Justin Bieber. Wait what!?

Up next after a 1 hour 30 minutes break was economics. I ate a horrible ham sandwich before that. Miss Raja, I think, was the lucky lecturer. Oh boy was she one uptight lady. You can barely catch a smile from that stern looking face of hers. She kept emphasizing on her non-spoon feeding ways while strutting up and down the aisle, spacing her steps with impeccable precision. Amidst noticing her perculiar ethics, I understand we are to complete a group task and 2 media commentaries as part of our assignments. They all seemed very difficult to me especially with the enforcement of www.turnitin.com. Gotta be original baby. I can only pray I'll do well.

Accounting class was a breath of air after going through that ordeal. Our lecturer for accounting, named Miss Jayshree, or Miss Jay was a little confused by the array of names presented to her and had a hard time figuring out how to pronounce them. I don't really blame her as they were people from all sorts of countries in our class, Korea, Indonesia, Kazakhstan to name a few. She eventually got through attendance and went on a long-winded intro on accounts. I'm really thankful for the fact that it's all back to basics once again considering my lacking performance in high school. Other than that, I'm gonna ignore the HUGE distraction beside me, so MOVING ON!

The hours didn't felt very long and I wasn't one bit tired. Told you the college was magical. Feeling super strong and energetic, I even volunteered to help carry Miss Jessey's notes up to class, well Math class to be exact, secretly hoping to make some sorta impression. Distraction from accounting class happily sat beside me again and there goes my plans to concentrate. Just kidding, I'm not that kinda guy ok? OK!? MOVING ON!!! Miss Jessey was kind and dedicated enough to give us homework before we actually started lessons. Well it wouldn't be called Math if there were no homework. They were basically SPM level questions, just to test our knowledge on the subject and make sure we had a solid foundation. I did stumble across some difficulties and dead ends but those questions seem to be out of the syllabus we previously studied. The international student probably covered them already. Guess I'll have the chance to speak to Miss Jessey tomorrow.

RIght, it's waaaaaaaaay past my bedtime now and I should probably be getting some rest. Still need to get up early tomorrow although classes don't start till 11.00. There are so many things to mark off my daily checklist. "Hurray" for tomorrow.

With love,

Yours Truly.

ps: I've been thinking of writing my post without capitalization cause they make blogging that much less easier. Any thoughts? Yay second post this week, shall rejoice with some THORrific spoofs of our favorite Marvel superhero! They are so many of them on Facebook, but I only picked a few.

Supposedly Card capTOR Sakura.

Ostrich in Mandarin.

Initial D

Lol! This is a good one.

Ahhh... last but definitely not least.

BRAVO COLLEGE FRESHIE 1 2 3.

2012-07-08T23:35:00.003+08:00

Hey y'all

Sorry for that cheesy title, I just had to do it. Well, hasn't it been quite some time since I last wrote something here? I think we all know the answer to that. Anywho, I've just about settled down in my new lair, and in case you haven't heard, I'm STUDYING IN A COLLEGE AND TEMPORARILY LIVING BY MYSELF IN A HOSTEL now. Obviously I got the internet up and running, and everything else is pretty much going well so far, no getting caught in embarrassing situations involving hundreds of onlookers...yet, check, but I do seem to have trouble making new friends, and I haven't seen any of my housemates, nor have I met Melvin. He's my roommate BTW. No worries.

Orientation isn't exactly something students would normally look forward to, and there's a good reason for it. My first 2 days in college was filled with tedious welcoming speeches, boring tours of the college, subjects briefing and a couple of placement tests which they conveniently renamed as "Oh My English" and "Maths For Fun". Well they weren't FUN to say the least duh, but most of them did served their purposes. I can't wait till classes officially start so I can be my nerdy self again, naw just kidding. But honestly I really wanna experience that brand new learning "ecosystem", brand new as in different from high school. Plus, I will be stepping into uncharted territories. And in case you don't know what I'm talking about, I pretty much abandoned the science subs and taken economics and accounting instead, so that's gonna be interesting. I thinkhope.

It's only been about a week since I left home and I'm already starting to develop homesickness. I find myself constantly checking Facebook timelines of the people back home, targeting for long weekends, staring at my phone screen every night waiting for mom to call, or anyone for that matter, wrapping myself under the covers in bed during lunch break reminiscing of the good times, the symptoms are terrifying really. I guess it's only natural when you're so far away from home, surrounded by complete strangers, having every meal at your study facing the wall, acting busy on your phone so people won't think you are a lonely asshole, and I don't even care how others looked at me but still I'm doing it I don't know why. Just so you know I'm firmly against phone-stacking.

My weekend was pretty fun-filled if it's worth mentioning. I crashed at my cousin's den and we ran errands, window-shopped, well she window-shopped I bought something for mom, went hiking and ya know, other stuffs people do on a fun-filled weekend, which btw does not include the part where I accidentally pepper-sprayed us both. Tragic, but at least we know it works.

Well, that's all the bullshit for now, leaving the rest for next time. Byeeee.

plwenables.

ps: I signed a credit card bill for the first time ever, with my own signature! OMG!!!! Scroll for some visual shizzle. Try saying 'visual shizzle' really quick lol. Gotcha!

Lair.

View frm lair.

Never thought I'll own one.

GROWING UP.

2012-05-09T18:03:00.001+08:00

This is weird. You see I usually start my posts with pathetic excuses to redeem myself for not blogging often enough. But then, considering I just posted something 3 days ago, that intro doesn't exactly fit, which is kinda bugging me cause I'm really into traditions. By the way, did I mention I turned 18?!

It's freaky yet all so amazing how I can feel entirely different from that person who started this blog merely a year ago. So much can happen between these short few blog posts, I'm only just starting to realize how much time has passed now that I'm 18. Growing up is never easy. It's like leaving a part of yourself that you're finally comfortable with behind to discover the new you, and it can get pretty scary when you really start to know yourself better. You start seeing yourself as who you really are, despite what people perceive you to be. For the past 5 years, I've been trying hard to portray myself as who I think I really am, discovering myself, and gradually learn not to apologize for it. It's hard cause most of the time, you lose people in that process till a point you wonder if it's still worth holding on to what you believe. You wonder if it's okay to just be who you are because being true to yourself can end up being the loneliest thing ever.

I gave up a lot of things to be at this point. Self expressing and speaking up meant having some people taking it the wrong way, it also meant hurting some people unintentionally. But beyond that, it meant closing in the tension and resolving issues that were kept unspoken between friends and family, instead of just letting it fester. If there's one thing I learned from this life experience, it's that everything comes at a cost, it's just a matter of finding out what's worth and what's not.

Anyways sorry if that got a little emo-ish. I get kinda emotional when I talk about my feelings -what a baby! Thanks a bunch to those of you who left me birthday messages!

Sometimes I wonder if I really deserve all of THIS.

Seeya guys on the flipside,

Leiwen.

p/s: I made my best friend late for school today. lololol.

IMMA SKYSCRAPER.

2012-05-02T21:37:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you get knocked over. Sometimes life just kicks dirt into your eyes and they hurt so bad that you can't see for awhile. Even after you wash them out, your eyes are red and they still see all blurry, but eventually, be it through tears or time, it may even take some eye drops, your vision will become better than ever. Life isn't always rainbows and butterflies, that's why music exist. That's why my two best friends exist. That's why my mom always have a habit of dropping by McDonald's on her way home to pick up my favorite McFlurry.

I honestly don't care if people try to take everything I have, or break everything I am like I'm made of glass and paper, because I know that in the end, they are the ones who will get exhausted from all the silly attempts to bring me down and hold me back. Because I know that in the end, what doesn't kill me, makes me a hundred friggin times stronger than who I was. Getting beaten up mentally is never easy and nobody in the world deserves that. Unfortunately, haters are still gonna hate no matter what. As much as that sucks, I personally don't let their words get into me, instead I picture them getting grind into a gazillion pieces by a meat shredder and then compressed into a burger patty!!!(ok maybe that's a little harsh). Well at least it works for me.

So to those of you out there, although you might be feeling a little lacking in spirit and run over by some ignorant dude, remember there will always be a promise that tomorrow you'll be a much more stronger person. And to that guy(if he/she really exist) who said you weren't good or anything like that, he isn't any better.

Have an awesome Wednesday people! Hopefully what I just wrote inspired you.

Sincerely, me.

p/s: I ACTUALLY got to celebrate Labour's Day yesterday cause the cafe I work at was announced closed due to some power outage. Kudos power outage!!!

WHAT'S FOR DINNER!?

2012-04-30T22:07:00.000+08:00

Hey guys,

I know it's been like forever since I popped in here. You know the drill, there's *insert excuse* and then there's *insert another excuse*, but honestly there's just work. We should talk more about it.

Rewinding 6 months back when I first began working as a waiter(pathetic I know), life was actually for once in a very long time worth looking forward to. It was definitely different from what I was used to and that is what's so amazing about it, it's unpredictable. And a little tiring, just a little, but still amazing. Meeting new co-workers are always fun and as much as fussy customers can really be a pain in the neck at times, some of them are so nice you want to hug them so tight they'd never leave. Best of all, I'm entitled to a 25% staff discount on all the cafe's food and drinks(OMG!!!) You've seriously gotta try their cakes! it's so @#$%^ good! Did I mention the superbulous view of Pangkor Island? BTW that's free.

Anyways, time as always, rudely barged into the picture and right now it's like I can't even remember the last time days were this dull. And to make things worst, fatigue is coming down hard on me. I swear I drag myself to work everyday(had my kicks all worn out, literally!) and that apparently breathtaking beachfront the cafe's located in, well it looks like shit to me now(I can't believe I just typed that! :O) To avert potential misunderstanding, this has nothing to do with the management or my designated working hours, or the fact that I've just been promoted to sous chef!(f*** yea! I do dishes) their completely fine and reasonable, it's just me, again. For an arguably nerdy kinda guy, I have a really short attention span, like Beau. He's my dog, love em' alot, at least I think I do. WHAAT! I'm running on sentence. On the brightside, dinner's still something to look forward to. THANK GOD!!! I just ate 3 packets of nasi lemak wtf!

I'm pretending to be unaware but my fellow co-workers are urging me to help with the closing through their weird and elaborated body language. Yay more dishes! Gotta run. Tomorrow's Labour Day if that's something to be hyped about, no day off though, there are never day offs.

More to come,

<3 leiwen

p/s HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE T! in advance. And sorry for the invisible pictures, this IS a very rushed post.

SINGAPORE AIRSHOW 2012

2012-03-10T13:39:00.002+08:00

Restlessness started to set in as the queue seemed to be taking forever. It was a blazing hot afternoon and the awful stench of sweat that hung in the heat wasn't making the situation any more tolerable. Clearly, the organisers overlooked the ventilation in their temporary(but massive) set up. My younger cousin brother held on tightly to the edge of my shirt as we move through the crowd, hoping to reunite with my uncle and aunty who was a good few dozen people ahead. A deafening roar of air turbulence and jet engines sent shock waves throughout the canvas structure. It was a soothing alleviation to the humdrum waiting, but it unfortunately also meant that we were late.

It all started a few weeks ago, when my best friend turned to me for help. He needed a foreign address to get a pair of shoes he bought online delivered as the company wouldn't send it to Malaysia for some reason. Coincidentally, I had some relatives living in Singapore so I thought I'd ask them for a favor. Little did I know, I got more than what I had initially bargained for when they invited me to the Singapore Airshow. Needless to say, I was overjoyed.

Now that I'm back, I thought I'd share with you guys my experiences and an idea of what the airshow was all about. I have received comments in the past saying that my posts were far too wordy for liking, so I'll do my best to keep it short and condense this time... ... with a truck load of pictures in place!!!(There's ALWAYS a catch).

Official visitor's pass for the 2012 Singapore Airshow!

They utilized the public buses to ferry visitors.

Super tight security.

Calling this a 'long' queue would be HUGE understatement.

Airfield for the flying display.

Boeing C-17 Globemaster lll -USAF

I have to stress, INTERNATIONAL AIRSHOW. *proud face*

The Smokey Bandits(Mikoyan MiG-29) -RMAF

Smokey Five.

One man's show(Rebel 300) -Blair Aerosports

Roulettes(PC-9/A) -RAAF

I love candid photography!

Gran Finale!

B-72 Stratofortress ending the flying display! -USAF

We missed both the 787 Dreamliner and the Republic of Singapore Air Force during the flying display. Thank you very much queue.

Next up was the static display. This time, instead of showing off acrobatic moves in the sky, the aircraft were parked stationary in the airfield for visitors to have a closer look . With that said, moving on to more pictures!.

Have I mentioned to you where exactly in Singapore was the event held?

Boeing F-15 Strike Eagle -RSAF

Gulfstream G550 Airbourne Early Warning(AEW) -RSAF

Surface-to-air missiles!

Boeing AH-64D Apache -RSAF

IAI Heron -RSAF

Boeing F-16D+ Fighting Falcon -RSAF

Silkorsky S-70B -RSAF

Boeing 747-400 -Singapore Airlines

Goodbye 747. You were great while you lasted.

Sadly, the A380 wasn't part of the static display. In fact it wasn't a part of anything! Not even a little toy model at the gift shop. ... ... OK fine there was no gift shop, but this proved just how deceiving ads can be.

They pasted it everywhere! Can you believe it??!! Stupid.

Well at least lunch was good.

Beef Tenderloin -Courtesy of Resorts World Sentosa Catering

After food, we continued our excursion in the world of aviation... or should I say military. You'd think fighter jets and airlift aircraft is the closest an airshow could get to the military world but you'd be wrong. The exhibition showcased an array of firearms, ranging from basic machine guns to super high precision sniper rifles, heavy artillery and even their ammunition. Talk about lock and load. That's not even all. State-of-the-art APCs(armored personnel carriers), communication equipment, early warning systems and biometric solutions are also featured. As if that wasn't enough, we were treated to a live(and kinda cheesy) battlefield scenario by some soldiers.

Battleships!

State-of-the-art ammunition.

Now, this. Is. Cool.

If he can do it, you can too!

Are they for real???

Of course there are also aviation related showcases.

To be honest, I didn't really find the airshow amazing. Eye-opening? Yes. Entertaining? Yes. Worthwhile?Well...yes, but just not amazing. It somehow lacked the "mindblowing factor". Then again, of course I'm saying this as someone who has little knowledge and interest in aviation, plus, I didn't even try out all the attractions they had. So don't take my word for it and do visit the 2014 Singapore Airshow if you get the chance, because secretly I would too, but that'd be weird cause I'm self-contradicting...

THE PRICE OF MONEY

2012-02-29T18:26:00.005+08:00

There's no question money makes our ever-growing material world go round as we use it for almost everything in our current daily lives, from paying taxes, utility bills, credit cars debts, mortgage loans to indulging ourselves in shopping sprees and luxury vacations. Contrariwise, we can't really achieve anything without the help of money. But what's really bugging me is the length and extend that people would go to pursue it.

It's extremely understandable if a person is greedy, because we all are. Who in their sane minds would give up the chance to gain a million bucks. Even if that person owns half of the world's wealth, or all of it for that matter, they will never, ever be contented. For some people, the measure of wealth is the front line of their general image. They even tend to see others according to how much money they have. Personally, I have came across many of these kind of people and to be honest, I'm not in the slightest bit impressed or feel envious, and for the record, I'm not saying that because I'm jealous. Yes, they are rich but it's as though all their money is stored in deposits-only banks because even buying something as simple as a slice of cake that costs less than RM7 seem torturous. I know saving is the root to their humongous wealth in the first place but residing in stinginess is not the way to go. Hasn't anyone told them that money is worthless unless it is used? I mean how different are you from the poor if you are unwilling to spend? It's ok to be thrifty but NOT stingy. Pamper yourself once in while after a hard day at work, or treat your family and friends to dinner. The world doesn't need another scrooge.

Our society today overvalues money. They are so blinded by the abundant things it can provide that they unknowingly let slide the little BIG things it can't. To proof my point, I shall list out some comparative examples to show you what money can buy, and what money can't. Money can get you a house, even a mansion but it can never give you a home. Money can buy you medicines and a ton of other medical prescriptions but it can never guarantee you health. Money can buy you free time but lost time are unrecoverable. The lists just go on. Now ask yourself, when is the last time you came home from work in time for dinner? When is the last time you took a day off from work so that you could spend quality time with your children? When is the last time you stop thinking about money and sit back to just enjoy the sunset? When you realise your workplace is starting to feel like your second home, then maybe it's time you hold your horses and take some time out with people from your REAL home. Remind yourself of what is truly important and always know where to draw the lines so that you don't get too caught up in the rat race.

I have always believed that a dollar spent on helping the less fortunate is worth a whole lot more more than a thousand spent on unnecessary designer goods or even millions spent to buy real estates and properties. The feeling you get when you make someone's day with something you take for granted almost everyday is just so wholesome, so fulfilling that not even a owning one of the 20 Reventons in the world, or even a million 24-karat diamond rings can compare. Who knew making someone else happy can make you happier than making yourself happy. So for those out there who haven't experience the joy of giving, you should do it cause it is probably best bargain you'll ever get. Honest!

I feel too many people are making too huge a fuss of money and it's about time someone put things into perspective, not to say that my blog is very influential or anything. Just keep in mind, in a game of chess, the King is undoubtedly important but without the pawns, victory would be precarious. Similarly in life, if you lack love and happiness, even if you had a billion bucks, you will still be on the losing side.

A BRAND NEW YEAR.

2012-01-16T15:43:00.007+08:00

Hey guys! It's been awhile. Thank you Kenny for reminding me that I need to update this blog asap. As usual, the post came a little later than expected, and I apologise for that. I'm really picky when it comes to my blog posts, and you know how that goes. Anyways, I published it in the end and that's what matters most. So if you're still sticking around after so long, I hereby declare you the awesomest human being on the surface of this oblate spheroidal planet.

2011 has been a great year. Particularly, it opened up tons of new experiences for me. I drove a car for the first time ever. Rocked the guitar in front of a live audience for the first time ever. Started a blog(this blog) for the first time ever. Got 3rd place in an art-related competition for the first time ever. Attended my very own surprise birthday party for the first time ever. Shaved my visible :) facial hair for the first time ever(which I'm pretty proud of) and best of all, graduated high school for the first time ever! Duh. It's pretty amazing how time flies. Seems like only yesterday I was playing tag with my primary school friends.The thing is though, we don't really speak to each other anymore. In fact, I don't think we even say 'hi' to each other when we cross paths occasionally.

Reflecting back, I find I haven't exactly been honest to the people around me, more importantly to myself. Around friends, I tend to crack stupid jokes and perform childish antics, probably out of habit. As much as I didn't really like doing that, I just somehow feel my that my place in the group is a crazy stand-up comic, or in other words, being silly is kind of like a social duty I have to uphold. I don't even know why or how in the world did I get myself into that position. Maybe it's cause deep down, I wanted to seem blithely unconcerned about the world. I wanted to appear as a somewhat nonchalant person. I wasn't trying to be cool or anything, it's just that I've gone through so many things in life, some at times worth crying my eyes out about, I mean who doesn't, but I didn't want them to show.

Somewhere along the line, I might have made myself believe I liked something just because my friends did or lied about my feelings because I was afraid of being judged, made fun of people because I wanted attention, acted like a stuck up jerk in front of weaker students because I was surrounded by really smart ones. I was insane enough to have actually attempted at being someone else, someone I wasn't.

Everybody screws up sometimes, and obviously I have made my share of mistakes. What's important though is that we learn from them and subsequently change for the better. Having said that, in 2012, I pledge to stay true to myself and live life consistent with my values and aspirations no matter what people may think or say(haters gonna hate). On another note, I've decided to end my long time pay cheque vs passion dilemma and pursue a career of my interest(which is still undecided). Also for this year, I promise to be more cheerful and start seeing things from optimistic perspectives. I will too keep myself busy with productive activities and procrastinate less, start working towards a healthier lifestyle and quit my daily dose of sweets, heed my mom's advice to give more and expect less in return, learn to be tolerant and always put myself into other's shoes before judging, and last but not least, stop being so materialistic and try to be contented with the things I already own.

It looks like I have a pretty long list of resolutions to tick off this year, don't I? Well, better start working on them before those words are left empty. Be sure to keep posted guys cause it's back to the usual 4 posts a month. Oh and sorry if it's kind of late, but Happy New Year!

EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT!

2011-12-25T15:38:00.002+08:00

I confess. I don't celebrate Christmas. Not for what it truly stands for at least. Though that doesn't mean I don't get to indulge in the fun part of it, presents! Recently, I made a purchase at a certain website, under my mom's full consent of course, it's her money after all. It isn't really a Christmas gift but I'm treating it as one anyway to get myself into the festive mood.

Now, I'm not going to go around the bushes(or the Christmas tree lol) any further so let's get straight to the point.

This arrived in my mailbox a few days ago. I can't really remember the exact date. Kind of lost track of time after SPM, you know. Well, as you would've already guessed from the picture, or my previous post, it is the L502X aka the DELL XPS 15 Sandy Bridge. As you wouldn't have already guessed though, I customised the original specs a little. The standard 1366x768 res display was replaced with a full HD 1920x1080 one. I also up the Wireless Card from the Intel Centrino to the Centrino Advanced.

As for the rest of the specs, I'm just going to run through them a bit. So let's start under the hood. This laptop is running on the Win7 Home Premium 64bit and powered by a 2.2GHz Intel Core i7 2670QM with turbo boost technology. Along with it, 4GB of RAM and a 500GB HDD. In the graphics department, there is the NVIDIA GeForce 540M with 2GB of dedicated memory capable of streaming 3D videos to a 3D enabled TV via the HDMI port. On the 3DMark11, the XPS 15 scored 1006, better than the category average of 846.

On the outside, the design of the laptop is more industrial unlike it's sleek descendant the XPS 15z which focuses more on aesthetics. Despite that fact, the XPS 15 however is no slack in appearance. It impresses with an anodised aluminium lid and brushed black metal keyboard surround. I really like the subtle white backlighting touches. Other than that, the 2.1 JBL Speakers I think are mind-blowing especially with the bottom mounted sub-woofer and complements the aforementioned 1920x1080 display very well when streaming 1080p movies. The laptop weighing in at about 6.6 pounds is considerably heavy. I had a pretty hard time carrying it around. Though with it's dimensions, the XPS 15 fits perfectly into most laptop bags.

Through first impression, I think this laptop really integrates style and substance into a package. Although the battery life isn't that convincing, I don't see it as much of a problem as I don't plan on moving it a lot. Well, there is much more to explore before I can actually make a solid conclusion on this laptop. Tomorrow is boxing day so do share with me what you got for Christmas in the comment section below. Keep posted! And Merry Christmas!

POST SPM BLUES.

2011-12-17T20:20:00.008+08:00

To simply say I'm bored, even with an addition of the adjective 'extremely', would be a profound understatement to how I feel exactly. I remember a few weeks ago, how I was just begging and hoping for this day to come, to finally be free from all the assignments, the exams, the stress and to be able to just lay in bed all day with a worry-free mind. Now that I got what I wanted, well mostly, I'm starting to miss the old days.

Everyone has a goal, and to be goal-less is like a car without a steering wheel. Early this year, my goal was to try as hard as possible to ace all 11 subjects in SPM so that I can work out a better deal with colleges in the future. I just finished my last paper of the exam last week and to be honest, right now I feel as aimless as a headless chicken. It's like I've somehow lost a purpose in life. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not in any way attached to it or anything. You see, I tried setting new goals eg. get ripped like Jake Gyllanhaal by this Christmas, write an original song as good as 'It Will Rain', learn how to properly dismantle a basic four stroke engine etc. They all seem pretty ambitious huh? Sadly, I haven't really started, or plan for that matter, to work on any of them because well, other than the fact that most of them are arguably impossible, I have to work 12 hours a day at my aunt's cafe! I don't even have time for myself! This exceedingly delayed blog post is proof. Which reminds me, sorry I broke my promise. =[

Waiting tables, doing dishes, putting up with insane customers. They aren't exactly the ideal holiday activities I had in mind. The only upside of this is probably a better night's sleep because I arrive home every midnight sore and beaten. Then again, maybe that doesn't quite qualify as an upside. Luckily, my two best friends, Kenny and Thoo paid me a short surprise visit yesterday and it kinda brightened me up a little knowing I still mean a-lot to them. I feel really sorry for not hanging out with them as often as we did. Those two are definitely keepers and I should take some time off after Christmas to plan a get-together. How does a road trip down south sounds?

Enough of the blues. I finally ordered my laptop at dell.com.my. It's a customised XPS L502X Direct Base. I didn't go for the newer XPS 15z because the specs weren't as impressive. I chatted with the rep from DELL and he offered me a RM200 discount coupon. Not much but I took it anyways. I did try asking for more freebies but he came up with such great excuses I eventually gave up.

Also, I'm heading to Johor Bahru tomorrow! As much as I feel guilty leaving the cafe to my mom and cousin alone, I really want to catch up with my paternal side of the family. I haven't seen them in months! Hopefully I'll be able to do some Christmas shopping while I'm there. A Premium Outlet recently opened in JB and I'm looking forward to do some productive shopping.
*Update:
Turns out I'm not going to JB after all. It's complicated. Oh well, on the bright-side, I'll be able to help my mom and cousin out at the cafe. That way, they won't have to overwork themselves. See how good of a son and cousin am I. =]]

I have to get back to work now. Do look out for my next post ~~and wish me a save journey to JB~~! Keep posted!

p/s: If you wondering about intro picture above of a cat, I just randomly chose it as 'cat' was sort of the first thing that came to mind when I started writing down this post. I like my readers to experience fully the raw footage of what was going through my head at the moment.

CHRISTMAS!?

2011-11-24T21:50:00.015+08:00

It's not everyday that I update my blog, especially not during the midst of a major exam, so appreciate it while you can. Firstly, I'm really sorry about the extremely unattractive intro pic as I did it in like 5 minutes on Photoshop cause I couldn't scour a suitable one on the net. Right, so I went to the store with my aunt after Physics paper today and was astounded by the Christmas decorations on display and the holiday songs that were playing over the PA system. I didn't even realise Christmas was just around the corner between those endless exams!

Having said that, what's Christmas without presents? Let's be honest. I'm sure many of you, well except Malaysian fifth formers, are cracking their heads figuring out the perfect gift for your loved ones this year. Thankfully, sodahead.com has come up with the latest statistical reports for what's hot and what's not, just in time to end your dilemma and save Christmas! Apparently video games are all the rage right now, and with the recent release of Modern Warfare 3, it just got better! Problem solved if you have a hardcore teenage gamer at home. In the tech department, Apple is leading the pack with it's iPhone and iPad topping the Christmas wishlist. Amazon's Kindle Fire and the X-Box Kinect is holding up pretty well too. Check out the full info graphics after the jump for more hot stuffs this Christmas.

(source: sodahead.com)

Well that's it, the hottest gifts of 2011. Sadly, they don't exactly come cheap for most people so I suggest you grab your sleeping bags and head to the nearest best buy store this Black Friday for great deals and discounts on those items. As for Malaysians, well there's no such thing as Black Friday here but the Year End Sale is happening nationwide now. I don't really know if it offers much of a bargain, as it usually don't, but it's better than nothing, right? If not, you can always opt for our next door neighbour, Singapore. There isn't really a climactic way to end this post so here's an original Christmas tune by our favorite Justin Bieber to liven up the holiday spirit a bit. =] Keep posted guys!

SOMEONE IS HOME.

2011-10-27T01:32:00.006+08:00

Hi. First of all, for the three hundred and third time, I apologise for not putting up posts more often. You see, I started drafting a few in the past week, but they all had to be scraped as the same inspiration that sparked those posts in the first place doesn't seem to last very long, at least not long enough for me to finish writing.

Thank God for this little thing called determination, here I am, sitting in front of my laptop in the middle of the night, fighting my eyelids to hopefully complete a post after so many days of dawdling. This time though, my determination is fueled by guilt, guilt for momentarily abandoning my blog rather than the usual inspiration. So, if you're expecting something good, I might have to disappoint you, ... alot. In fact, this will be a very very boring and long winded one, be warned. Having said that, how does a sum up of my week sound?(don't gimme that look)

Right. So, Sunday. We(referring to me & a few other friends) started off the morning at 10 am with breakfast at a prawn noodle stall. It's funny cause among the ones who actually ate prawn noodles(others had non-spicy stuff) I seem to be the only person not overwhelmed by the spiciness. Their faces were all red. They were sweating, and some even panting. It almost seemed torturing at some point. We then adjourned to Tesco to grab some ingredients we need to make spaghetti for the class party(which I will talk about later). Anyways, we didn't want our hang out to end just like that so we tried figuring out what to do next. Initially, someone suggested we watch a movie but somehow, we ended up drag racing to Marina Island. It was crazy, I didn't watch the RPM meter but it must have went way beyond the hazard range cause the cooling tank literally dried up.

After quenching my car's thirst and strolling along Marina Island's beach front, we head to the education fair back in town. When we arrived, all the stalls were pretty much empty except for Taylor's. I feel a little bad for the other Universities cause they were obviously no match for Taylor's as far as establishment and fame go. Anyways, it was a long wait for our turn at Taylor's as everyone was rushing in line to either register or inquire about the courses they had to offer. Finally, the six of us sat with the rep from Taylor's and talked about pre-u. Taylor's offer all kinds of pre-u courses from Cambridge A-Levels to South Australian Matriculation, Canadian Pre-U, International Baccalaureate and more. Her little pep talk with us on personal learning styles and pre-u choices hit us hard cause most of us were so sure on pursuing CAL. She opened our eyes to our wrong perceptions of SAM being less qualified and added that those who were tired of exam oriented education system should avoid CAL and consider SAM, which presses more on hands-on assignments and coursework. That immediately put me into a dilemma We then had late lunch at Boston(referring to restaurant, not American city) before heading back home.

Monday. I slept through most of the day, went for tuition classes in the afternoon and slept more after dinner. It was downright boring and boring(couldn't think of another word). Thank God I did some good mom and son talk regarding my issues and dilemma about post high school edu before bed. We weighed out the pros and cons of each course and mom assured me that money would be the least of my problems and that I should just go for whatever's best for myself. I spent the next hour going through accounts before turning in.

Tuesday. Class party was tonight so I had a few friends over to help me prepare the... you guessed it, spaghetti! We split the job and I was in charged of cooking the carbonara sauce. I must say the end product turned out pretty well considering the chaotic process. We cleaned up the kitchen after my friend finished with her tomato bolognese sauce. Yes, we had two different sauces to go with the spaghetti. Just when we were about to congratulate ourselves on a job well done, we all noticed something. The portion of the noodles were like two times more than the appropriate amount to go with the sauces. We overestimated the quantity! Having left no choice, we decided to head back to the store the grab another bottle of sauce to balance things out. Thankfully, we made it just in time for the party. After setting up everything, we finally got the party started. The spaghetti we made was a hit. Everyone aimed for it and within minutes, the containers were wiped clean of both the sauces. Even after our quick thinking to add another bottle of sauce, the noodles proved too be way to much. Again, we had to return to the store for more sauce and this time, cook it right at the venue.

It drizzled and eventually poured as we started our BBQ session. There's no better feeling in the world than to sit by the fire together with a bunch of your friends and some hot roasted chicken on a cold and rainy night. Later, we sat in a circle and played a game of truth or dare. Thank god I was lucky enough to escape. The entire party ended at around 11pm I think but I had to leave early because I was hitching a ride from a friend. On the way home, I reflected on the fun we had and thought to myself : Wow, this could well be the last hang out I'll ever have with my classmates. And it's true. We will all be parting ways to pursue our individual dreams and ambitions after the exams. On the bright side though, I get to keep the best of them. ;)

Well, I should probably get some sleep now. Wouldn't want to fall asleep in class tomorrow. Keep posted!

p/s original photos courtesy of Goh Chia Guan.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT.

2011-10-16T22:54:00.004+08:00

Beyond the the irrefutable fact of necessity, food represents a distinct part of our individual and social lives. It is the front man and ambassador of many many countries and races. From the famous fish & chips of Britain to the hip macarons of France, time have indeed revolutionized the way we eat. Today, with the help of modern technology and human's endless creativity, we have more than a gazillion types of food in the world.

For different people, food means all kinds of different things. There's

the Indian chicken tandoori,

the Italian spaghetti alla bolognese,

the Japanese sushi,

the French foie gras(duck liver),

the Korean kimchi,

the Malaysian nasi lemak,

the German sausage,

the Brazillian moqueca de peixe(fish stew),

the Thai Tom Yum and many many more.

Then, for some others, there's

the empty bowl of whatever the day brings

or at most times, don't...

You see, while most of us live beyond our necessity in terms of food, billions of others are struggling for their need of them to survive.

I'm grateful to be able to live in a country where food deprivation doesn't come as an issue. In fact, we have huge supermarkets, with wide varieties of food along every shelf, in practically every aisle for us to choose from. Some people on the other hand, like those who live in the Horns of Africa strive to survive each day praying for anything edible and here I am complaining about mom's cooking while having ice-cream for dessert. We don't even have to make effort to cook ourselves now with restaurants and food courts right at our doorsteps.

When you look at the life you're leading as far as your meals are concerned, it kills thinking that there are actually people, especially children, starving to death at the rate of seconds out there. I cannot imagine going for days without food. Nor can I imagine how much mothers hurt when they have nothing to feed their hungry babies. I don't understand why while some people can have so much to eat, these people have literally nothing? There is seriously something really wrong about the system in which the world works.

Alas, having said all that, I hope the next time you munch on a burger or chow down on a steak, please think of the people suffering from hunger if not dying. Instead of spending money stuffing yourself on food you don't need, spare them to these people. Of course if you are finding it hard to make ends meet yourself, spare your voice by signing this petition. Drought is inevitable, but famine definitely isn't. Do your part now!

There you go, some food for thought for you to gnaw(ponder) on before you go to bed. Well, Happy Blog Action Day and World Food Day everyone! Keep posted!

LET'S TALK IPHONE.

2011-10-06T19:33:00.008+08:00

So, it's official. After months of waiting, Apple finally revealed it's latest iPhone. The world was prepared to be blown away, hoping for a brand new device with a radically new and sleek design. Instead, to our dismay, new CEO Tim Cook pulled out what seemed to be an iPhone 4 at first, but with a few incremental upgrades. They call it, the iPhone 4, wait for it 's'.

Don't be too let down though, the iPhone 4s definitely isn't some mere routine update. It's new features look amazing and could be just what Apple needed to prove that they are still at the top of their game. One of the most compelling features is the all new 8 megapixel camera. Other than just increasing the resolution, Apple also made significant changes to the optics. The aperture is widened to f/2.4 and the new 5 element lens assembly along with the IR Hybrid filter makes photos sharper, brighter and more accurate overall. It also comes with a BSI CMOS sensor. What's more, the new camera allows 1080p HD video recording at 30 fps. Say what Samsung?!

The next feature probably comes as no surprise as Apple already showcased it at the launch of the iPad 2. That's right, the dual-core 1 GHZ A5 processor. On the iPhone 4s, Apple claims that it will provide graphic speeds of up to 7x faster compared to the previous iPhone, which is powered by the A4 chip. Apple showed off this at the keynote together with Epic Games to announce the upcoming iPhone game, Infinity Blade II. Screenshots suggests a seamless gaming experience and graphics that is arguably comparable to gaming consoles like the Xbox 360. With the A5, the iPhone 4s is also claimed to be able to render web pages twice as fast, and I cannot imagine what it will add on to the already flawless app navigation

The most prominent feature and probably the biggest news of Apple's announcement is the release of Siri, a state-of-the-art voice recognition assistant, which according to Apple is what the 's' in iPhone 4s stands for. Though Android has a similar feature with Google's Voice Action app, Siri takes it to a completely new level. It can recognise natural speech like "Will I be needing an umbrella today?" and literally talk back with the information you need, which in this case, the weather conditions in your area and at last, whether you'll be needing an umbrella. The Siri can also read and reply text messages, place calls, schedule appointments, set reminders and give directions, all you have to do is say it! The app will keep track of your personal behavior as you start using it and personalise the answers it provides to make the experience more natural. Of course, it probably wouldn't work with, Manglish. ... ... But I'm sure Apple will work on that(wishful thinking).

Introducing Siri

Among these 3 signature improvements, there is also the icloud, which wirelessly sync the iPhone 4s with all your devices and of course the IOS 5 with over 200 new features like the new drop down notification. All in all, the iPhone 4s is brilliantly engineered and is without a doubt an exceptional smartphone. It deserves to sell well, though it might not, considering many are bummed because it's not called the "iPhone 5", as what they'd expected. Because of this, people deny and incline to overlook the fact that the 4s beats the pants off the 4 and even most high end android smartphones in most measurable categories ie speed, battery life, camera quality, on board memory, you name it! If Apple were to slap the name iPhone 5 on their device and maybe fiddle with the design a little, the headlines and sentiments will all surely read differently.

Anyways, I guess most of you have heard the news of the passing of Steve Jobs(Apple's founder in case you don't know) after years of battle with pancreatic cancer. Although he's gone, his revolutions in the tech world lives on. RIP Steve!

Before you leave.

Anyone craving for an ice-cream sandwich?(giggles)

BOOM!

Kay till next time! = )

CHANGE AHEAD.

2011-09-30T14:40:00.005+08:00

It's almost down to the month of October and in less than 3 months, I'll be taking on an entirely new route in life. That's right, after sitting for this November's SPM exams, I'll be graduating high school! How awesome is that!? I mean, no more tacky uniforms, early morning classes and lousy canteen food! But most of all, I'll be free from the Malaysian Education System! Gosh just thinking about it gets me hyped!

Of course, I'll also miss my friends, the times we spent together and all the crazy stuffs we did. All of that is kinda hard to let go of. It's sad to think that we'll eventually have to part ways because I really hope we could stay the way we are, as far as our relationship goes. Then again, maybe graduating isn't all that awesome after all.

Post high school life opens up doors of endless possibilities. Even if you've already decided on going to college, there come questions like which course do you wanna take, what college do you wanna go to. All these takes immense thinking and careful considerations. Personally, I'll most probably be diving into the field of engineering as my passion would concede, which comes down to either mechanical or civil. But then, there comes the pay-cheque vs passion dilemma. The pay-cheque option would probably lead me to business management or accounting. They're both within my comfort range, so I guess I'm still ok with them. Ultimately, my decisions are highly dependent on my SPM results. I have to ace it in order to widen my scope of options, and maybe get a scholarship to help ease mom's financial burden, ~~and then pester her to get me an iPhone5.~~

The fact that change will be happening soon excites the hell outta me, but at the same time I feel nervous and worried that I might make the wrong choices along the way. Though, whatever it is, I'm ready to take the next exit to 'change' and start a brand new chapter in my life! Who knows? Maybe I'll even end up a rockstar or something. ... ... OK that's probably a little far fetched.

Mock iPhone5 based on rumours.

On another note, speaking of change reminds me of the next generation iPhone, aka the iPhone5, rumoured/confirmed I don't know, to be launched next Tuesday, Oct 4th! I've been trying really hard to convince my mom to get me one if it ever releases in Malaysia and I think it's working! The only thing that's standing in my way now is my guilt. What have I done/going to do to deserve this!? Man, I gotta hit the books real hard so that I can treat it as a reward. Ahh, I'm getting paranoid!

I should end this post now for fear I'll type out something insane. Keep posted! And happy October everyone!

HEY! JOSH.

2011-09-29T13:39:00.003+08:00

1987. Chaos broke out as greed reigned supreme. Human's hunger for wealth and power gave rise to terrorism, war and fraud. The authorities cared about nothing but their pockets and the poor were discriminated. Outlaws got away with their deplorable crimes while the innocent suffered. In the midst of this ensuing entropy, a child was born. His name was Joshua Neil Farro.

Paramore 2005

18 years later, armed with the gift of music, he, together with his brother and friends embarked on a life changing journey to bring joy into youths' ever so dull life. 3 more years later, their growing fame finally catapulted them onto my computer screen as I watched them make musical magic on stage in Congress Theater, Chicago. I succumbed to their overwhelming talent and charisma. Almost all of them were jumping up and down on stage, trying to add fun and make the overall experience a memorable one for their fans. Though, it was the cool and somewhat shy guitarist who stayed put most of the time that caught my attention.

Final Riot! in Chicago 2008

Josh @ the Final Riot! Chicago

I googled the band I found out he was Josh Farro the lead guitarist. I also found out he composed most of the songs and was one of the main people who planned out the concert's setlist. I was amazed by his skills and as of that day, he became my role model. Josh is a really down to earth guy from what I see through interviews and their video logs. Although he's surrounded by fame, he keeps grounded by his strong believe in God. He and the band never thought of the huge amount of money they're raking in but instead concentrated on what truly matters to them, music.

Paramore backstage.

source: jennalfarro.blogspot.com

Josh made me realise why I love music in the first place. It's never about the achievement but passion and self satisfaction. I got into music for all the wrong reasons. When I first learned the piano, I only thought of what grade am I at, what grade will I get to next, is it high enough, is the money put into learning worth every cent. All these blinded me from the most important thing, music itself, and passion. Lessons started getting tedious, I couldn't understand what my teacher was trying to say and learning the piano felt like an added burden in life. After failing a grade, I gave up completely. I never knew I could be a part of music again till Josh came into the picture and enlightened me. Now, I'm back on the piano and is progressing steadily on the 6th Grade. I also taught myself the guitar under his influence and is arguably fluent now. I even took part in several live performances. I wouldn't say they were great but I had fun.

= )

Today, I want to thank the guy who played a huge part in my life and doesn't have a clue about it. Josh, you make music that puts a smile on my face, that livens up my dull days and gives me hope, but most of all, you made me who I am today. Thank you man! and Happy Birthday! Rock on!!!

p/s: Can't wait to hear what you and Novel American have been working on. Pray that you guys find the right person soon.

GRACIAS!

2011-09-26T23:06:00.002+08:00

HELLO BEAUTIFUL READERS!!! It's been awhile. My trial exams which seemingly took forever has finally ended last Thursday. Sorry I couldn't make a post back then cause I might have been a little lazy, but mostly out of inspirations.

Right, so I'm gonna leave out the usual mumbo jumbo today and cut to the chase. Our NIE team won the state Top 5 for our mini magazine!!! And I have nothing but my awesome team mates to thank for. Aik's unique perspective on different parenting methods between the east and west have definitely captured the interest of the judges and Moses did an amazing job with the cover picture to complement it. I suddenly feel bad for contributing so little. Thank god I have talented friends!

I also want to snag this opportunity to thank my awesome friend Chan Hao Jie. He's been really helpful to me through-out this exam. He would unhesitatingly guide me through the questions I ask although teaching me can be a pain in the neck sometimes, especially when I can't seem to get whatever he's explaining into my mind. I guess I just wanna thank him for being patient and always there when I need him, academic wise at least. Ok this is starting to sound a little tacky. But seriously, you can text this guy a million questions and he will, and i mean will reply and answer every single one of them.

Yea, so I guess that's all. For now that is. I know it's a very very very short and condense post, do forgive me. I promise a much longer and elaborated one next time. Look out for more posts this month! I pledged to do at least 4, so that's 2 more to go. Man, this is starting to feel like a something I HAVE to do rather than something I WANT to.