Why I chose Pinoy Teens

Well, it’s because Pinoy Teens is the one who is hosting this blog of mine, even though neither I nor Kevin has updated it a lot. It was here with Pinoy Teens where learned how to blog and started blogging. Kevin has been my mentor, and I see no other future but with Pinoy Teens despite none of us getting younger year after year.

I have great belief in Pinoy Teens and I think that it’s going to be sooner or later when the blog receives the recognition that I believe it deserves.

Good luck Pinoy Teens and good luck Kevin!

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I’m thrilled to inform you that we have applied for all new Entrecard accounts (our old accounts were suspended for a. inactivity b. not having the button), but now we’re back. As a little teaser for the PINOY TEENS’ RETURN during this last quarter of 2010, I have created a little video which I hope you like.

I used to be in such situation for about 3 months time now, well, somehow I’m still entangled into a situation like the one that I noted above, but nevertheless, I’m on my way out of the mess.

To be honest, I’m uncertain about the subject matter, the essence, the point that this post is going to make, but I just feel like writing my heart away this very Tuesday Evening of September 7, 2010.

The Situation and What My Heart Says

I was in love. In love in a way that I have never been for a long time, probably for the past couple of years. It has happened around 3-4 times in my life that I have felt this extreme feeling within me. So intense, so good, and so bad when my world turned upside down. It wasn’t lust, and I’m certain of it. I’ve never come to mind green-minded stuff about her in my head. I know that it has been love for real, love that was not meant to be, love that never really turned into a relationship, love in which a lot of laughter, tears and emotions got wasted, and most importantly time got wasted.

My best friend and yours truly believed that we had a chance to win that particular person that I used to be in love with on our side, but eventually the bridge between us broke apart, whilst she rushed back to her side of the edge. It’s all Water and Bridges now, I guess.

Things turn more and more complicated as the days pass by. Prior assumptions of having a chance have turned into assumptions that the person in question is having a hard time communicating with me for who knows what reason she might have.

I want to be here for here, like I would’ve been there for all the other people that my heart has turned in to, but she just wouldn’t let me. She wouldn’t allow me to help her, guide her, and I’m still clueless what the real score between us is at present.

Are we still friends or are we into strangers? It’s like I’m living in a totally and new strange world right now.

Instead of turning to me for her problems, I’m not even close to the third whom she’s turning to. It would be a lie if I’d say that I don’t have felt a moment of ouch knowing these facts. It leads me to the conclusion that I’m the culprit of her problems, but she’s just keeping it to herself, or maybe just away from me. But why?

Is it a sin to be in love with someone? Is it wrong to love someone who loves somebody else? My best friend, who used to boast from positivity about this issue that I’m facing is slowly losing hope too. The belief to make it isn’t there anymore, and it’s probably time to wake up and let go.

My best friend notes:

Love. It isn’t a game. That’s what people say, but in truth, it is. A game at which you must take risks, a game where you’ll win great prizes or loss great treasures. Like in every game, there will be the time that you’ll lose a round or two, and probably it’s time that you have to bow down now and give up. I’m already looking foolish and silly with what I have done so far in relation to that girl that I am loving right now. From the stupid videos that I created for her special day, down to the weblog that I have utilized to post my thoughts and emotions about her.

Giving up someone you love doesn’t mean that you don’t love that particular person as much as others do. It’s just that you learn to accept defeat, and don’t want to look stupid anymore. Giving up doesn’t mean that you didn’t truly love that person, it’s just that you give in to the fact that it just can’t be, no matter what.

Final note:

I just can hope and pray that the solid bond won’t break apart just like that. I’m slowly losing her. Not only as a close friend, but as a friend in general; if you know what I mean.

I don’t want to look stupid anymore, not knowing what is happening around me.

-Walang Magawa. Okay?

The poem is dedicated to well, never mind. It will be part of a new series called 2010, since all the other series of poems are a bit outdated already. Feel free to peek into my whole portfolio of free poems

Dreamer

Sometimes things ain’t right,
Even if they look fine,
maybe I should fight,
or just dream that you’d be mine.

I may seem so very strong,
but within I’m very weak,
here all alone…
Lonely silenced, I can’t speak.

Every word I utter
Everything I say
Makes me feel very eager
to have here one day.

Is it just a far fetched dream?
A nightmare? A sweet one?
I don’t know…
For all, I’m just a dreamer,
who slowly comes to love you so.

[download MP3]

I just found this piece that she eventually dedicated to me back then around 2006-2007, which I really hope you’d come to enjoy.

“Huli Na”
Gawa ni: Izy Bautista

Bakit ngayo’y ako’y aalis?
Ngayon ikaw ay aking mahal na mahal…
Sadyang kay sama ng tadhana’t
Pagiibigan nati’y di nagtatagal…

Wala lang naman eh
Ikaw lang naman ang iniisip
Siguro tanging hanggang panaginip
Tayo’y magmamahalan
At duoy di mangiwan…

Huli na para ibalik
Ang init ng bawat halik
Nung tayo’y magkasama sa kwarto
At nakikinig sa mga awitin ng radio…

Kaybilis lumisan
Kaybilis sabihin
Na di mangiiwan
Ngunit tadhana lamang
Ang nakakaalam…

Subalit, duoy sa malayo
Parang maging ikaw parin
Ang tanging isip
Ang tibok ng puso…

Ba’t ayaw mangako na ako’y babalik?
Ba’t susuko sa unang halik?
Tanging ang panginoon lamang
Ang syang nakaalam…

Sana’y tigilan na ang pagiiyak
Sa isa huli kong yakap…
Magpapaalam na ako sayo…

Sana’y tayo’y magkita pa,
Sa ngayo’y, ito’y HULI NA…

I probably start confusing some of you about what I’m talking, let me guide you through. My mother resides somewhere in a province in Visayas, nearest to which is Cebu City. I’m here in downtown Davao living with her sister who has been acting up as my mother for the past fifteen or so years, alongside with her my present father who both are doing a pretty well job to make me feel how it is to belong to a family and have people care about you. But who would not agree that even the sight of your true mom can make a vast difference in emotional aspects than whatever tender touches someone else could do unto you?

Just a couple of moments ago, my younger sister who lives with my mother in Cebu sent me a message. A little poke to remind me that they are still alive and kicking down there, probably. And I just started to slowly, immensely miss the three of them (my mother and the 2 siblings I have there) even though I haven’t meet both of the little fellas she is with. I kinda feel guilty for not being able to visit them through all these years, most especially after the big bang I had with my earnings a month and two back. My heart bleeds to ground the words of conscience and guilt, to realize that I have accommodated my will to attain pleasure, rather than entertain my family that is left behind in Cebu. And it really looks like Karma isn’t far away

Other relatives are adding more burden to my weary emotions by the heavy statements and judgements they left behind, I can’t do a thing but to consider everything they said but it’s still hard to accept these strong words that hurt as if my soul has been blown up by ten anti-matters.

I don’t know how I can escape the trap I’ve falling into. I wish I could revert a couple of things that I have done in life, but that is just despicable to talk about. What other alternative aside from praying for the good health of those I love could I reach out to? None.

For My Aunt who will surely come to read this post some day, some time.

You might have known and loved my mother longer than I do, but it doesn’t mean I’ve loved her any less. You might have showed how much you care or her in visible actions you’ve taken, but it doesn’t means that my prayer do not match your financial or other kind of support that you have given. Stop judging, to stop being judged.

The domain has been purchased and made use of a couple of year prior my use of it, I’m lucky to own it now, and I’ve never felt much more blessed to have a good domain like this under my belt but now. Poetic Notes seems to be the answer to the question: “Where can I blog about personal issues, without worrying about income”.

I never intended to earn from this website, nor will I ever have that as my prior concern as I will be talking about personal life in a more precise manner here. It will be a heck lot of fun sharing ideas with the new reader base I’m excited to meet, something beyond the earning niche, something very personal and inspiring.

I never thought that I would earn as much as 30,000 Pesos on a single go on the internet, nor have I thought that, that high status suddenly would vanish. Rest assure that whatever might happen from an earning standpoint, there will always be an avenue for refuge, always be this website that I can rely on to pour out my personal concerns, might they be violent, happy or any other feeling I wish to share.

Student Blogger is just not “doing the task anymore”, nor will Pinoy Teens be close to what I’ve assumed it to be, but this blog that has never really established itself in the international and heck, even the local blogging scenario. I’m looking forward now to write unforced content, and let my mind hit the keys instead my forced finger strokes to get the content online. I’m pleased to announce that the older blogger that pretty much everyone knew about is back on track, and that, with Poetic Notes.

Student Blogger changes Niche

The Student Blogger Blog will evolve closer towards its true essence of existence, it will become a blog sticking to the niche that it should be, about student who are blogging and earning money on the internet. Of course, there’s a Seo Wright that closes in to accomplishing the task of providing the latest gossips in the online world and SEO perspective, yet Student Blogger looks to suite its tasks the best, especially if the content is provided by someone in the shoes of an actual student who is trying as hard as he can to earn money in a dis-annoying manner.

The girl going by the name Tia has a decent problem with one of her crushes, or her only crush in this case who goes by the name Ryan and is her first love, even if they are not committed but are friends only. The guy has been acting close to her, kind, sweet, caring and all other characteristics that a boyfriend might show to her girlfriend. Even if to emphasize once more, that they are friends only.

The mind bugging question/s:

Does the guy love the girl? Or doesn’t? Is the letter sender really in love with the girl? What should the sender Tia do now?

It has somehow struck me, at some point, since I can relate to the situation she’s in and I just felt like picking up the phone and dialing the number to share my thoughts on air like I have plurked about moments before I went live. And the advice of mine is as follows:

It’s still her choice, if what she believes is easier. If she thinks that letting go and moving on is the right choice, then so be it, but she should carry the thought and have in mind that she might sooner or later regret it when she’ll she the guy who’s named Ryan with some other girl and even more regret the fact that she didn’t fight for her feelings. At the other hand, she could take the extra step and let the guy know that she loves him and that she wonders if he (Ryan) is feeling something that special in return for her, but she also have in mind that she might be rejected and that it might be pretty painful as well knowing that Ryan only sees her as a friend.

You don’t experience the beauty of love if you don’t experience pain, either way it might end up positive and negative but I personally would go ahead and ask that person and confront that person and ask if that person is feeling something special too, it’s always the way that I would handle cases like this, because it would be a probably lesser but long term pain knowing that the love has just been there all the time, but you’ve never fought for it.

What would you do in Tia’s case? Let go or fight for what she feels?

It’s like  Pyramid

It’s like a pyramid where you are trying to reach the top and need to start at the very bottom to start building on the right foundation, should I say. Being friends is just the perfect beginning into a relationship and it’s there where you get to know your future partner better, rather than regreting having entered a relationship with someone that you barely know. Don’t let your emotions drive you beyond you can handle!

Don’t let your emotions lead you.

Okay fine, you can argue with me with this case that you should not let your emotions play around with you, at times it’s good at times it’s bad, very bad. Especially when it exceeds the limits of what you should handle or slips away from your comfort zone. You should always have that balance in emotional aspects and smart thinking when looking for a partner or considering a application from a guy, when you’re a girl.

Don’t believe in words.

Okay, let’s assume that you do believe someone and account his words as true, but don’t do that to often especially not when a lot is at stake, trusting someone by word may make you feel bad in deed sooner or later, and you’ll never no for how long you’ll grief about what you have mistakenly thought as correct and true.

Don’t ride along, but walk towards your goal.

If you are thinking that that particular person you’re committed to right now could be the last one that you’ll own in your life; don’t forget to take it slow. You might run into traffic anytime soon if you hastly exceed the limits that you surely know about. If you have managed to stay at the friends level for some time, why rush with things that do not suite your age or your status? It’s bad, it’s very bad.

This is soundly random, but just the two cents of someone, who has been broken and experienced being the left over, of some joyous pleasant guy’s need.

Our Guest Writer Prefers to remain unknown, under the codename Pinky.