There’s a gang of thugs roaming the New York streets, quietly abducting women and selling them into international sex slavery. The ringleader of this operation is a maniacal murderer- ‘the Plutonium Killer’- and he has some VERY unusual abilities thanks to past radiation exposure via secret government experiments. If this sounds like a lot… it’s because it is. 

While witnessing one of the women being abducted on the streets, Nita Liu tries to interfere and is ultimately killed by the ruthless gang. After learning of the murder of his wife and unborn child, John becomes a vigilante in pursuit of justice and revenge. After being thrust into the public eye by a local news crew, the masses dub John the “New York Ninja” and champion his vigilantism. His transformation into a folk hero is juxtaposed with severe disapproval by local law enforcement, who seem more intent on stopping John than making the gang of thugs pay for their crimes.

Will justice prevail? Will John take down this international crime cabal? Will we ever make sense of why the Plutonium Killer can inexplicably turn into other people? Join us on this episode to find out!

This week we watched The Hard Way from 1989, aka Hard Bull, aka Columbian Connection, aka La Via Della Droga. It was Brittany’s pick, and chosen as another step towards our goal of watching as many Miles O’Keeffe movies as possible. In The Hard Way, we follow a small special forces group (lead by O’Keeffe’s “Bull”) who are dropped into the Amazonian jungle in pursuit of a ruthless drug lord. With the local government unwilling to extradite the cartel leader, the US sees no other path to justice- they handpick 3 operatives to track the cartel, extricate the leader, and transport him back to the US to face charges for his crimes. Needless to say, things don’t go as planned, and the group finds themselves wildly outnumbered and fighting their way to the base of the cartel’s operations. Can Bull & co. beat the odds, survive the jungle, and bring their prisoner back to face justice? Or will the cartel have the last laugh? We discuss the paper thin plot of this film, the absurd amount of shots fired, and the subpar miniatures of exploding helicopters. Enjoy!

In case we didn’t mention it before, we are REALLY glad to be back. This episode is the first new one we’ve recorded in SIX YEARS… So please be kind as we attempt to rewind, and remember how to do this goddamn thing. 

Second Class Citizens, join us - if you would - on a top secret mission to Russia. We’re tagging along with Frank Zagarino and Charles Napier this week, to investigate the suspicious transport of nuclear missiles in the 1998 action flick, Armstrong. When CIA agent Bob Zorkin and his wife, Susan, travel to Russia to investigate the disappearance of nuclear missiles, he runs into old friend and undercover agent Rod Armstrong.

Convening at Zorkin’s apartment to discuss the whereabouts of the missing nukes, they get into a shootout with Russian goons. Armstrong barely escapes, and Zorkin is killed. Now Armstrong and Susan must team up and locate the nukes before the Russians use them. Can they get justice for Bob, AND stop the Russians before doomsday?

Tune in to this week’s episode to hear us discuss that and other far less relevant topics like wet tshirts, ponytails, and why Charles Napier was so goddamn sweaty in this movie.

From both 1988 when this movie came out, and from 2017 when we recorded this episode. Let us not dwell on our extended absence (it’s boring, I promise).

… Because we’re back! The serendipitous discovery of an incredible looking movie (which we cover on next week’s episode) propelled us into dusting off the ol’ mixer, overcoming a dozen tech issues, and recording a brand spanking new episode for your ear holes. But first, enjoy this discussion about the 1988 Namsploitation flick, Phantom Raiders.

When the CIA learns that deep in the Vietnamese jungle, ex-Green Beret Colonel William Marshall is running a terrorist training camp for the Vietcong, they must act quickly to remove him from the situation… by any means necessary. A rag-tag group of commandos led by general badass Python Lang (played by Miles O’Keeffe), and including Marshall’s own son, Howard, set off into the jungle. Their mission is to reason with Colonel Marshall and prevent him from further assisting the Vietcong. If he refuses, the group is tasked to take him out. Will Howard be able to finally face down his father to save countless lives? Or will the task prove too much for a loving son? Join us as we discuss the differences between balaclavas and baclava, gunfire as ambient noise, and ponder with us about why the HELL Miles O’Keeffe wasn’t in a hundred bigger and better movies than this in his heyday. 

It’s good to be back. 

After an extremely impromptu, year-long break- which was filled with a multitude of inconvenient life dookie we won’t bore you all with- we decided it’s the right time to dive back into SCC. HOW WE’VE MISSED YOU ALL. We’ve got a few episodes banked, one of which we will share with you today!

Our good friend Fallon joined us for this episode - exactly a year ago today - and it’s been waiting to see the light of day ever since. We watched the sad,misguided, hypothesis of our internet future… also known as the 2002 murder flick, .com for Murder. 

Sondra is wheelchair-bound after a skiiing accident, and is recovering at the high-tech home of her boyfriend (unnecessarily played by Roger Daltrey). Bored and on the mend, she’s joined by her sister, Misty as she logs into American Love Online- pretending to be her boyfriend and chatting up his various contacts. After witnessing a live-feed of a murder in one of the chats, they enlist the help of FBI agent Matheson (played even more unnecessarily by Huey Lewis) to track down the killer. But after a while, Sondra and Misty start to suspect they might be the ones in danger…

Listen up as we reflect on the good ol’ days when Spencer’s Gifts could meet all your rubber fetus needs, and every chat room was filled with 14 year old females from Cali. We’re back bitches!

We were joined this week by our good friend (and local comic), Rob Pierce! He graced us- not only with his presence- but with a truly enjoyable second-class gem: Welcome to Planet Earth.

Our story begins with Joseph! Having just inherited his deceased mother’s boarding house in a dangerous urban neighborhood, he’s short on cash and desperate to find some tenants as soon as possible. Lucky for him, that very evening Charlie, Rhonda and their daughter Daphne show up on his doorstep- looking like they just stepped out of a Normal Rockwell painting, and needing a place to rent. At first it seems too good to be true, rich white folks with money to burn, who are all too pleased that Joseph wants to bang their daughter. But are they what they seem? Or are they aliens vacationing on Earth, here to take in all the sights and vigilante justice the inner-city has to offer? Only time will tell!

Welcome to Planet Earth stars George Wendt and Shanna Reed, and is truly a bizarre and unique film. We discuss this movie’s oddly adept social commentary and clever dialogue, the sexiness of violent women, and why Joseph’s mom loves singing in the graveyard. Listen up!

Thanks to all of you who have somehow stumbled upon us and continue to listen to our ridiculous banter. We’re so happy other people love these misfit films and want to celebrate them the same way we do- in a mockingly critical and often obnoxious manner. Especially when we’ve dropped off the earth for a while due to life, and you all still hit us up with new film recommendations and discussions on older episodes. We know we've been gone for a while, thanks for not making it weird. Also, thanks to all our friends, on this episode and every other, who are always down to watch bad movies and share their love and knowledge of trash cinema with us. We love you all.

For this super special occasion, we were joined by not one, not, two, not, three, but FOUR friends from previous episodes who came over to watch this flick with us… and for the first time ever we recorded a commentary during the movie! Tyler, Fallon, Gray and Aaron all came by to watch the newly restored  Horror House on Highway Five, which we recently purchased from Vinegar Sydrome (you can purchase it here if you want to watch along with the commentary, or just in general: https://vinegarsyndrome.com/shop/horror-house-on-highway-5/ ). It was interesting, to say the least.

The synopsis of this film would tell you that it's about a crazed psychopath who stalks the streets, wearing a Richard Nixon mask, murdering helpless victims… but is it really? We had a lot of fun trying to break down the various threads of story in this film, which weren't always coherent… But hey, this is the second movie we watched recently that’s featured random Nazi -occult subplots! Also, ferns!

Enjoy!

Tom picked the flick this week, and he thought the premise of a women’s baseball team lost in the woods with deranged killers sounded like a real home run (I’m sorry)… Our friend Aaron stopped by the studio to help us dissect this bloody baseball debacle.

When a group of drunken rednecks lose a baseball game to a traveling team of buxom babes, they are incensed, but get over it rather quickly. That is all short-lived however, when one of their own, Mino, tries to stiff the baseball coach out of $1000 he owes him over a bet on the game. Things escalate quickly, resulting in the accidental death of Mino’s son, Roy. Mino resorts to full-on Vietnam flashback mode, calling for the girls deaths, and offering $1000 per head. The race is on, can Babe and the Ball Girls escape this hillbilly nightmare unscathed, or are they all doomed to die in the woods?

In this episode we discuss our satisfaction with the death scenes, ponder the inexplicable decision made by Mino to pay $9,000 for 9 dead women instead of the paltry $1K he originally owed, and we cover just a ton of straight up grab-ass.

This week we were joined by a first-time guest- our friend and professional funny-lady,  Liz Moniz. We even let her pick the flick! Liz had told us about this really strange movie she had watched with her Dad when she was a kid, a movie about a possessed refrigerator that eats people… So naturally we wanted to watch this ASAP. It took two years, but we done did it!

This movie follows a couple, Eileen and Steve, who have just relocated to NYC from Ohio, presumably in pursuit of Eileen’s dream of becoming a Broadway star. The two get a deal on a shabby apartment and quickly set about turning it into a home. Soon thereafter, the couple is visited by a seemingly crazy neighbor who warns them about previous tenants disappearing and other strange goings-on in the apartment. It’s not long before Eileen and Steve are plagued by nightmares and visions involving the refrigerator, and soon people they know begin disappearing as well. Who can quell the refrigerators demonic hunger?!

We cover a plethora of relevant topics in this week’s discussion- including gourmet cheeses, mother/daughter sexual tension, the lack of gore, and the least believable thing about this movie: $200 a month rent.

Listen up!

Unfortunately, we did not watch a film this week here at SCC, but we did do something that we should've done a long time ago…

If you've been a listener for any length of time, you probably know that we always ask every one of our first-time guests the same question:

“What is your relationship with B movies?”

We've asked dozens of people this question over the past two(ish) years, trying to learn about what ignites and ultimately drives the passion for this type of cinema. But recently we realized that as hosts, we've never really answered that question for ourselves. So for the first half of this episode we do exactly that- we all share our earliest B movie memories, discuss what we think makes a flick great, and talk about some of our favorites.

Our flick this week was a recommendation from our friends over at Bad Movie Sunday (which Bristol Bad Film Club was kind enough to give us access to), and we cannot thank them enough for it. We were joined by our friend (and first-time guest), Gray, as we viewed and discussed the masterpiece that is Road to Revenge (1993) aka GETEVEN aka Karate Cowboy aka Satanic Panic. Just kidding about those last two… Or are we?

Road to Revenge follows disgraced former police officer (and current limo driver), Rick Bode, as he attempts to take down a Satanic cult- which happens to be headed by his former partner, Normad. Aided by his girlfriend, Cindy (a former cult member), his perpetually drunk best friend, Huck, and a Native American mannequin, Rick sets off to get even.

Armed with nothing more than some leather pants and a song, John De Hart mystifyingly manages to make this vanity project completely entertaining (and bizarrely endearing).

We're officially off that hellish ride through space, and onto bigger and better things. It was Brittany's turn to pick the flick this week, and feeling as though we deserved to treat ourselves, she selected 2014’s Housebound- a thriller/comedy straight out of New Zealand. Having heard nothing but great things about this movie, it felt a little indulgent… But hey, treat yo’self, amiright?

Housebound follows Kylie, a young delinquent who is sentenced to house arrest under her mother’s care after being arrested for breaking into an ATM. While stuck with her mother and stepfather, Kylie learns some disturbing things about their family home. Like how a teenage girl was murdered there decades ago… Back when their house was used as a mental institution. NBD. As Kylie becomes obsessed with solving the murder, things around the house just get weirder and weirder. Can she solve it before her and her mother become the killer’s next victims?

A cryogenically frozen Jason Voorhees is discovered in the year 2455 and taken aboard a spacecraft where he is accidentally unfrozen, thereafter wreaking bloody havoc on the passengers until only a few remain. After Hell and Manhattan, the only logical place for him to go was space. This movie introduces us to Über Jason. Take it as you will. But there's boobs, there's weird dominatrix robots, there's Jason… Careening through space.