Pop Culture

Why Do Women Even Start Families With Men?

Shawn Bean — Thu, 09 May 2013 16:14:35 +0000

Over the past five years, sperm banks have emerged as one of America’s biggest growth industries, to the tune of $320 million in annual revenue. California Cryobank, one of the largest sperm banks in the country, is doing all kinds of things to woo potential clients, including letting them shop for sperm donors based on the celebrities they resemble. As a byproduct of the unimaginable crimes allegedly perpetrated by a man in Cleveland, I’m betting that California Cryobank adds a few more zeroes to its next quarterly earnings report.

The Greatest Mother's Day Fail Of All Time

Shawn Bean — Fri, 03 May 2013 18:45:04 +0000

It’s Mother’s Day, 2006, and I’m shopping for Mother’s Day. That afternoon, I arrive at our family’s holiday gathering with a card and a potted petunia from the Home Depot. As the other moms and grandmoms dive into their gifts, I hand my wife, Brandy, the recyclable, unfertilized tokens of my affection. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life,” reads the card’s handwritten sentiment. “You’ve made me a better person and a better father.” She smiles sweetly.

Extend hand. Pat back. Repeat.

Jason Collins, Good Parenting and the Arc of the Moral Universe

Brian Braiker — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 17:43:28 +0000

One of the more remarkable things about Jason Collins coming out this week as the first gay male professional athlete was how inevitable it felt. There are gay celebrities in just about every profession imaginable: they’re news anchors, musicians, talk show hosts and even athletes. But most openly gay athletes have waited until retirement to out themselves.

By coming out as a free agent just after finishing his season with the Washington Wizards, Jason Collins provided us with a definite feel-good moment and a historic advance that could save the lives of thousands of gay teens.

The Problem With "Mama Bear" Syndrome

Shawn Bean — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 18:04:47 +0000

If my sons robbed a convenience store, their mother would say, “That was the best convenience store robbery of all time.”

Dadchelor Party: A "Baby Shower" for the Dad-to-Be

Janene Mascarella — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 13:04:54 +0000

What do Scott Disick, Dean McDermott, and Rodger Berman of Bravo's The Rachel Zoe Project have in common? They all celebrated the impending birth of their baby with a dadchelor party. Robert Nickell, CEO of Daddy Scrubs, an apparel company dedicated to dads-to-be, says, “Once the baby comes, the family shuts down while the new baby gets through the ‘fourth trimester.’” Translation: pre-delivery party. Dadchelor activities include typical dude-centric diversions: drinking, golfing, and skeet shooting (see McDermott's party).

An Open Letter to Martin Richard

Shawn Bean — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 13:42:21 +0000

Dear Martin,

I’m looking at photos of you. Your milk teeth are gone, replaced by the ones you had yet to grow into, the ones you would have flashed in the high school yearbook. Your eyes and nose appear to be your dad’s; your luminous smile your mom’s. In one of the images, you hold up a handmade poster with the phrase “no more hurting people,” a sentiment flanked by magic marker-ed hearts. You were eight years old.

Submit Your Idea for a Lords of the Playground Episode

Jason Kravits — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 17:56:53 +0000

Coming soon: Season 2, written by...you!

Do you know a Lord of the Playground? ARE you a Lord of the Playground? Then no one knows better than you where to find the funny in fatherhood. Well, we're heading back to the bench for another round of episodes and we'd love to hear from you: your favorite playground moment, a funny anecdote, or even a full idea for an episode. Anything that deals with fathers or fatherhood, strollers or seesaws. Or something completely different. We'll pick our favorite, film it, and add your name to the credits!

How To Speak Fatherese

Shawn Bean — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 16:17:40 +0000

Since time immemorial, dads have been using the same tried and true phrases when dealing with kids, spouses, and family. But I’ve come to realize that no one (except for dads, of course) knows how to speak Fatherese, or can accurately translate our language. Here’s a 101 class in our native tongue:

Hold your horses. Please speak slower. I drank a lot during college.

Tell your brother you love him. The birth control didn’t work, so we might as well make him feel welcome.

MySpace, HerSpace: A House Divided By Social Media

Shawn Bean — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 16:15:13 +0000

The iPhone goes vrrrrrrrrrr. I pick it up, and see that my wife Brandy has shared a picture: a bowl filled with colorful grilled vegetables and chopped chicken. “Look how beautiful my lunch is,” she writes. I would click the like button, but I can’t. It’s not on Facebook. She’s not on Facebook.

I am my wife’s Facebook.

When It Comes to Our Daughters’ Panties, Forgive Us for Not Trusting Victoria’s Secret

Nick Chiles — Sat, 30 Mar 2013 04:11:31 +0000

After word seeped out that Victoria’s Secret was targeting its PINK underwear line to young teenagers and even tweens, pushing panties with suggestive phrases like ”call me” and “wild,” the ire of offended parents rained down on the company in a hailstorm of weary outrage.

It feels like we find ourselves in the same place at least once a year, as yet another corporate giant tries to sneak one past us, treating our young girls as sex kittens in training.