PopBytes

TrailerBytes: Skyfall and more!

2012-05-27T03:21:55Z

Skyfall

I don’t know what’s going on in most James Bond movies until the end, so it doesn’t bother me that this trailer makes little effort to reference the plot. The tenor is excellent, and it has just the right combination of intrigue and action. The polygraph test at the beginning is the only part that really matters, and Daniel Craig’s reaction to the word, “Skyfall” speaks volumes. The only hint about what that means comes from a flashback in which Bond kills someone, which does not differentiate this film from any of the others. Obviously it’s important though, because it immediately gets under the skin of a trained assassin. Even though Craig’s darker portrayal of Bond has led to mixed reviews, there is something very intriguing about a James Bond who has morals. The movies are fun because they are so obviously ludicrous and extravagant, and it will be interesting to delve deeper into a more realistic James Bond.

Anchorman 2

After lambasting the leaked trailer last week, the shiny and clean trailer came out this week, and it is immaculate. Everything is better, and there’s still no script. It’s essentially a new trailer, which is a reminder of how much content this group can produce and how funny they are together. They’ve already fully inhabited the characters and have the right timing as a group. It’s like they never left, and Ferrell’s assurance at the end that it will be a fun movie is all I need to hear. If they could throw everything together so quickly, imagine what the movie will be like when they have time. I am excited.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Red Band trailers are always fun, and this one is especially gory. It is set against the backdrop of the Civil War, but the actual story is not clear. Is vampirism an allegory for slavery? How would that work? The impression the trailers give is that they’re some sort of hidden menace, which doesn’t work in relation to slavery. Everyone was aware of slavery. Is it instead some sort of counterfactual story, in which the Civil War is against vampires and slavery was never a problem? Does Abraham Lincoln have to fight two wars? Did he gain the presidency because of his vampire-killing prowess? Most of this probably doesn’t matter, because the movie is about killing vampires, which is awesome. Still, I’d like to know that there is some sort of structure behind the killing.

The Great Gatsby

I only read this book once, six years ago, so I’m not the best person to comment on how much this trailer resembles the book. That may not matter though, because very little of the plot is revealed. Sure, Carey Mulligan loves Leonardo DiCaprio, but that’s not really enough for a movie. (What’s that you say about Titanic? Shhhh). Instead, the trailer spends most of its time revealing the setting, which appears to be Willy Wonka’s Coruscant. I had no idea the Roaring ‘20s were more modern than present day. Meanwhile, Leonardo DiCaprio is once again playing Leonardo DiCaprio, Tobey Maguire looks perplexed (doesn’t he always?), and Joel Edgerton is wary of everything. If that’s not enough for you (it shouldn’t be), there is also the needless inclusion of dubstep and some vaguely Australian accents. I’m sure Baz Luhrmann is to blame for that, but surely that can’t be how they’ll sound all movie. What kind of weird, jingoistic move would that be to have characters from one of the greatest American novels sound Australian for two hours? I hope it is just an issue that arose with sound mixing.*

* I don’t know what sound mixing is.

Dan Spritz / Cherry On Top / @DanSpritz

Nicole Kidman sexted her ‘Paperboy’ director?

2012-05-26T22:56:18Z

Short version of the story: kinda but not really. Long story: Nicole Kidman was so enamored with the chance to play a nymphomaniac in The Paperboy, despite director Lee Daniels‘ belief that the movie was too low-budget for her, that she took sexy pictures of herself and sent them to him. Also important to keep in mind: Lee is gay, so she may as well have been sending him pictures of flowers. So no actual sexting! Yay! Us Weekly reports:

“Lee said, ‘Look, we’ve got no money, you’re going to have to do your own hair and make-up,’” Kidman, 44, explained of her first discussion with Daniels, whose last film was Precious.

“So I actually went into my bathroom and I got out the fake tan and put on fake eyelashes and got a hairpiece thing that was platinum, threw it all on and texted a photo to Lee in all these different provocative positions,” she said of her sexy session of self portraits. “That’s how it came together.”

Oh, and in case you’re wondering what the movie’s about, it apparently has something to do with Nicole peeing all over Zac Efron. Via Vulture:

It’s a wild moment … and yet even that can’t hold a candle to the coming golden shower. Later in the movie, as Efron’s romantic ardor for Kidman is at its peak, the two head to the beach, where he decides to cool down with a dip in the ocean. Naturally, he is attacked by CG jellyfish. (Only the sixteenth weirdest thing to happen in this movie.) Covered in sting marks, he barely manages to drag himself to shore, and when Kidman is alerted to the attack by some comely girls who surround Efron, she pushes them away, pops a squat, and out comes number-one. And yes, you get a close-up of the stream. This is a movie that often seems to be missing important transitional scenes or specific inserts, but you had better believe that when Nicole Kidman pees on Zac Efron, that camera is there.

Yes. That happened. Here is my $15. Please give me a ticket.

Britney Spears walked off ‘X Factor’?

2012-05-26T20:20:35Z

Just yesterday, the world learned that Britney Spears was more or less being paid for her The X Factor gig with delicious fried chicken, Doritos, Diet Coke, along with the $15 Million dollar paycheck. Clearly, she’s taking her commitments seriously and upholding her end of the bargain and- oh, wait, scratch that, she walked off the set and didn’t return after someone made the mistake of performing one of her songs and sucking at it. TMZ reports:

Britney Spears walked off the set of X Factor moments ago … and according to several people in the audience, she was upset after a contestant butchered her song, Hold It Against Me. Britney did not come back immediately … and four contestants auditioned in front of the remaining judges … and an empty seat. Someone connected with the show tells us Britney was not upset over the song — and that she “Just took a short break.”

Wait, so no one else saw this one coming? I mean granted, I figured that if she walked off set, it would be because she was chasing a butterfly or following a trail of Cheetos, but still, it was really only a matter of time. “Look ya’ll, I thought that your number was, like, pitchy? And your performance was all over the pla- plastic bag! plastic bag! plastic bag! *Runs out the door*”

[PHOTO | RAY MICKSHAW / FOX]

Jenna Jameson got arrested for a DUI

2012-05-25T20:10:51Z

Earlier in the morning today, Jenna Jameson sucked a few too many down (1) rammed herself head-first into a pole (2) and was then taken down by men in uniform. (THREE! Three sexual innuendos in one opening sentence! Ah! Ah! Ah!) Anyway, TMZ released the tape from the 911 call, and it’s all kinds of messy and depressing. TMZ reports:

TMZ obtained the 911 call made by a woman who claims she witnessed the porn legend driving like a drunk person before she smashed her Range Rover into a pole in Orange County, CA just after midnight. “I was actually getting ready to call you guys because she was drunk,” the caller told the 911 operator … adding, “Next thing I know she went into the pole.” The caller asked Jenna if she needed paramedics, to which she replied, “No, I just want to go.” She can later be heard wailing in the background, “I’m Jenna Jameson.”

Oh sweetie … look, I feel bad for her, but I kinda want to go all Cher in Moonstruck on the bitch so she’ll SNAP OUT OF IT! Sweetie, you got drunk and got behind the wheel of a car. You could have killed yourself or others. No one’s going to just let you go no matter who you are. Also, just putting this out there, but maybe screaming your name at people after committing a crime might not be the best idea.

[PHOTO | TMZ]

TelevisionBytes of the Week: Revenge, Glee, Idol, DWTS, and more!

2012-05-25T18:46:39Z

With all this upfront talk dominating the television conversation over the past three weeks, it’s hard to remember that it’s actually finale time! This week, we said goodbye to the last slew of shows (Revenge! Awake!), and hello to the first bits of summer TV (SYTYCD! Duets!). Here’s how it all played out:

OMG you guys! Did you see that Revenge finale. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT!!!! What a satisfying, wonderful, breath-taking season finale – and the perfect cap on a perfect first season. Huge applause the creators and writers for crafting a delicious story, and to ABC for launching the biggest hit of the 2011-2012 TV season.

While we’re handing out props to a good finale, hats off to Ryan Murphy and his team for actually giving us a solid Glee finale. The show’s third season has been a huge improvement over the mess that was season two. And even though it still felt really uneven and rushed (Quin went from a goth girl to a revengeful mom to a wheelchair-bound charity case to cheerleading captain? WTF!), I did find myself tearing up throughout most of the finale. It’ll be interesting to see what happens next season. (All the graduated seniors are slated to return, so the show will split it’s focus – half on McKinley, half on … other places.) Will you be watching?

Hey guess what! Some white guy won American Idol again! Phillip Phillips was crowned the season eleven winner this week. I have a hard time telling him apart from the other boring white guys with guitars who’ve won Idol over the past few years, but apparently he sounds like Dave Matthews and had eight separate operations for kidney stones during the run of the show. Yikes! 132 million people voted for Phillip – a new voting record for Idol. Though apparently the finale was the lowest rated in Idol history.

Meanwhile, can we talk about Jennifer Holliday on that Idol finale? Ahhhhh!

Football player Donald Driver was crowned the season 14 champ of Dancing with the Stars, beating out opera singer Katherine Jenkins and telenovela actor William Levy who took second and third place, respectively. I was rooting for Gladys Knight, but apparently she was voted off back in mid-April. Who knew!?! Anyway, it was a lame ending to a lame season – mainly because all the “stars” were voted out far too early (let’s be honest: I had to Google the three finalists to find out who they were, and you would have too had I not told you). But it shouldn’t be such a surprise that the guy who won was a football player. Of the past 14 seasons, 7 winners have been sports stars. When will Dancing with the Stars just rename itself Dancing with the Athletes?

Speaking of bullshit winners, can we talk about how Arsenio Hall won The Celebrity Apprentice? I’m no clay-mate, but Clay Aiken was completely robbed. The final task was to throw a charity event. Finalists were judged on how much money they raised, who made the best PSA, and who threw the best party. And Clay made way more money, had a better PSA, and threw the better party. So obviously he lost. Because Donald Trump loves Arsenio Hall. And Magic Johnson, who’s foundation Hall was representing. Oh, and NBC probably wants an Arsenio Hall talk show sometimes soon (On the finale, Hall said he wanted to get back into late night, and Trump said he wanted to see him there again too). So yeah. He won. Sorry Clay! Always the bridesmaid!

The biggest non-finale news this week was about Dan Harmon, who was abruptly fired by Sony as Community showrunner for the show’s fourth season. Harmon’s been replaced by two dudes who previously had nothing to do with Community – David Guarascio and Moses Port – in an attempt to broaden the show’s appeal. I’ve never been a huge fan of Community, so I can’t speak to Dan Harmon’s strength as a showrunner. But I will say this: according to his account of how things went down, he got totally screwed. We’ll see what’s better for viewers: a fourth season of Community, or a season of Community without Harmon.

Community isn’t the only show in the midst of a showrunner shakeup. SMASH, which returns for its second season in January, has canned showrunner Theresa Rebeck. In her place comes Josh Safran, an executive producer and writer from Gossip Girl. Safran’s already made some positive changes, giving pink slips to dead-weights Raza Jaffrey (Dev), Jaime Cepero (Ellis), and Will Chase (Michael Swift). Sadly, he’s also gotten rid of Brian d’Arcy James, who played Julia’s husband Frank. Sure, Frank was kind of lame – but Brian d’Arcy James is wonderful and talented and could have done more. Oh well. At least this means we probably won’t have to see stupid Leo anymore!

Yes it’s true. Last week’s Saturday Night Live finale was Kristin Wiig’s final episode. The folks at SNL rolled out the red carpet for Wiig, putting together a pretty touching goodbye that included guest appearances from Steve Martin, Jon Hamm, Chris Parnell, Amy Poehler, Chris Kattan, and Rachel Dratch. But it wasn’t just Wiig’s finale episode. Andy Samberg and Jason Sudeikis were also saying goodbye. (SNL won’t officially confirm that, but “Lazy Sunday 2” made claims it was the last “SNL Digital Short”, and Sudeikis has a slew of movies filming in the fall, and also, duh). Don’t worry though – Samberg and Sudeikis had their chance to shine at the after party. They performed “I Love Rock n’ Roll with The Foo Fighters … and Kristin Wiig singing lead. #wompwomp

SAVE THE DATE. Breaking Bad is returning for the first half of its fifth and final season on July 15. Sadly, the second half will not air until summer 2013, so it’s going to be a long wait before the end. But at least that means that we’ll have Walter White on our TV screens again soon. Cue the choir!

A&E has cancelled Dog the Bounty Hunter after eight seasons on the air. I would not want to be the executive who made that decision. Dog is going to come after him! Also, how much do you bet Dog appears on Celebrity Apprentice next season?

In daytime news, ABC is following in the footsteps of The Today Show, adding a third hour to Good Morning America called Good Afternoon America. The show, hosted by Lara Spencer and Josh Elliott, will begin a nine-week trial on July 9 at 2 p.m., in the slot formerly occupied by One Life to Live and The Revolution. GMA alums Lara Spencer and Josh Elliott will co-host, though GMA regulars George Stephanopoulos, Sam Champion, and Robin Roberts will appear. If it does well, it’ll be a worth lead-in for Katie Couric’s syndicated talk show, which debuts September 10. Per their press release, we can expect “celebrity appearances, musical performance, pop culture news and original entertainment, lifestyle, health, workplace and consumer reporting.” Finally – just what daytime needs! More fluff!

Finally, let’s end on something sweet. The season five intro to the The Real Housewives of New York City has leaked. One of these ladies has one leg. Enjoy!

MUST SEE: Kylie Minogue’s ‘Timebomb’

2012-05-25T17:37:51Z

Please just stop everything you are doing right now and watch this brand new music video from Kylie Minogue for her latest track Timebomb which dropped earlier today. Not only does she look completely amazing, this song is incredible. What a nice unexpected treat from one of my favorite ladies of pop.

Kylie Timebomb is available on iTunes now.
Click here to buy. Directed & Edited by Christian Larson

Leaked: Britney Spears’ ‘X Factor’ rider

2012-05-25T04:38:06Z

With Britney Spears finally bringing something watchable to The X Factor, it only makes sense that everyone on the show would go out of their way to give her whatever she wants, or else be forced to rely on the star power of (*snickers*) Simon Cowell and Demi Lovato. As you would expect, Britney’s rider is basically a white trash buffet from heaven, because you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you should probably do it soon before the meth lab explodes and – OH SHIT! TOO LATE! Via Contact Music:

The Toxic singer – who has signed a $15 million deal to join the panel of the US version of the show alongside Demi Lovato – has made a number of backstage demands, including six cases of Diet Coke containing 24 cans, which must be replenished every week. She also wants ten snack size bags of Doritos for her and her team a day, twelve vases of magnolia blossoms in her dressing room, ten pieces of chicken and four pints of potato salad every week. According to LOOK magazine, Britney – who is engaged to Jason Trawick – also requires a beauty team which includes a personal manicurist, a facialist and a massage therapist.

Make fun of her all you want, but I am no jokes jealous of her. If I could have all that delivered to my place on a weekly basis (along with a $15 Million dollar paycheck), I would sign the dotted line without even thinking. “What’s this? Something about my first born child? Whatever. TATER SALAD!!!”

Baz Luhrmann crazied up ‘The Great Gatsby’

2012-05-25T02:38:46Z

I’ve never actually read F. Scott Fitzgerald‘s 1925 novel The Great Gastby, mostly because no one ever reads that unless it’s for a high school English class. That being said, I’m pretty sure it didn’t have Kanye West songs with weird, sparkly, colorful stuff festooned all around it. Yes, Baz Luhrmann is basically trying to remake Moulin Rouge all over again, which means throwing modern theatricality at the 1920′s, hoping something sticks. I’m not sure how much of it does stick, but at least it might be fun to watch?

Ingrid Michaelson’s ‘Blood Brothers’ video

2012-05-24T22:07:31Z

Ingrid Michaelson has been happily skipping along the border between indie and mainstream for a while now, and her new music video for Blood Brothers does a pretty good job of really straddling that line. In the video, a team of hair and makeup geniuses turn her into Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon, Lady Gaga, Gene Simmons, Amy Winehouse, Beyoncé and David Bowie. It’s kind of cool, really, and the song is cheerful and pretty, just like Ingrid!

Exactly How It Sounds: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

2012-05-25T02:51:19Z

It’s Abraham Lincoln. KILLING VAMPIRES. Honestly, the only time anyone should have to explain to you why this concept is awesome is if you’ve just won a battery-eating contest. Yes, it sounds like it was written by opening a can of alphabet soup and pouring it over Mad Libs, but seriously: ABRAHAM LINCOLN VAMPIRE HUNTER. This is the most awesomely nonsensical mashup of great things since Turducken.