Say what you will about the Resident Evil movie franchise; even if the movies aren't necessarily of the best quality, I'd say they're at least of consistent quality. So I'm not entirely disheartened that a fourth movie in the series appears to be on deck.
Paul W.S. Anderson is writing the script, though it's unclear if he'll direct. Hey, in all likelihood it'll just be Milla Jovovich beating up a whole bunch more people, and that's never a bad thing, except for when it is.
]]>Just saw this commercial on TV last night and needed to share.
It's just so dignified, don't you think?
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
In honor of Gay Pride, I thought I'd post a gay-themed Retrophilia this week. And if you can explain to me what the hell that title is supposed to mean, I'd greatly appreciate it. This ad is from 1972 (the guy's porn 'stache and hair are a dead giveaway, I know), so maybe "My mother lives in Cincinnati" is some kind of secret gay code or something. I don't know. All I can think of when I hear it is in Superman: The Movie where Valerie Perrine cries to Gene Hackman that her mother lives in Hackensack.
Sorry, got off-topic there for a second. Anyway, make the jump to see what kind of gay stuff you could mail order in 1972!
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Honestly, while you'd think the shirtless guy in the top center would pull your focus, the thing my eyes go to first every time is the crazily-well hung torso on the top right. "A must for the collector of the beautiful and unusual?" Quite.
And I love the Paisley Flares and the Sensuous Slip-On Widepants. What's the difference between flares and widepants? I love the patterns, and it makes me wish this ad was in full-color. Also, it's sweet that they're available for women, as well. It's a nice gesture, since that's so very clearly not the audience they're going for.
With those pants, the jewelry, and the Cavalier Shirt with Muslin Flares I feel like somehow this company was the predecessor of International Male. You know?
But to me, the funniest thing about this ad is the statue of "The Wrestlers" in the upper left. I love that Hercules is grabbing Diomede's wang. Or the other way around. The copy says it's the two of them, but I don't know who's taking the liberties. Either way, it's hilarious to me because a miniature version of this statue (the one here is almost a foot tall) is in the window of a real estate office around the corner from me! Did they even look at it?
]]>To pay tribute to the lovely Farrah Fawcett, who passed away this morning, I wanted to post a clip of one of my favorite moments from Charlie's Angels, which was the end chase from an episode that had Jill escaping on a skateboard and hanging onto the back of a truck speeding down the highway. Awesome.
Since I couldn't find that specific clip, I instead opted to post this little Minisode of one of the greatest Angels episodes ever: Angels In Chains. Seriously. Kim Basinger and Mary Woronov? Fabulous. The whole thing is sublime heaven, but this six-minute edit gets in all the high points! Boy, cars blew up easy in the '70s!
RIP, Farrah.
]]>I've been in great anticipation of Richard Kelly's The Box for some time now, and a trailer for the film has at long last been released.
Kelly seems to have taken Matheson's original story in more of a conspiracy action thriller direction (or so the trailer suggests). It ain't no Southland Tales (which, I'm sorry, was AWESOME, I don't care what anyone says) but this is definitely still one I'm excited to see.
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People have been somewhat skeptical regarding the potential quality of the live action Cowboy Bebop movie ever since Keanu Reeves' involvement was announced. But screenwriter Peter Craig assures audiences that his script stays remarkably close to the source material, and with the deep involvement of Sunrise (the original anime studio) this may actually be one to keep an eye out for.
One thing's for sure...if the live action Bebop sucks, Sunrise president Kenji Uchida will in all likelihood be choking a bitch.
Writer Peter Craig Speaks on Cowboy Bebop Flick [Anime Vice]
]]>If you're like me, you're probably looking forward to the premiere of Glee this fall after that wonderful teaser episode FOX dangled in front of us then snatched away like the sadistic bastards they are. Well, here's a little actual glee club action in the meantime. Okay, they're not exactly a glee club, they're an a cappella group, but it's the same spirit. Washington University's The Stereotypes do their thing on "Greener" by Tally Hall. It's a band you probably haven't heard of, but trust me, they're great, and this is a terrific version of the song. And the boys are just adorable — especially the super-enthusiastic one at the end!
]]>Okay, this is all kinds of genius right here. Mad, mad, mad props to Jonathan McIntosh for this unbelievably clever mash-up of Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Twilight. Needless to say, if you're a fan of the mopey Eddie Cullen, you're probably not going to like this, but if you fall squarely on the Slayer's side, this'll be a hoot. I can't imagine how many episodes of Buffy he sifted through to find just the right reaction shots, but I think it was probably more painful to sit through Twilight. (Oh, and super clever use of Harry Potter at the end, there!)
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
You may look at this small little thumbnail image and wonder, what's that next to that guy's head? It sort of looks like a sock, but that can't be... can it? Oh, you have no idea. This ad is so insane that I can't even believe it made it out into the world. Go on — make the jump and you'll see for yourself! Yikes!
(And apologies in advance for the quality of the image. This came straight from the recesses of the interwebs and not my personal collection. But thanks to Christian for the tip off!)
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I mean... I can't... It's just so...
Right?
I do appreciate this guy politely folding his hands across his butthole to save us from that potential embarrassment. But I think the absolute best part of this whole ad isn't the whole contortionist thing intimating that if you can... um, pleasure yourself orally out of a suit, you can do it in their 100% Dacron polyester suit (which doesn't seem right because obviously wearing clothes would be somewhat of an obstacle), but the first line of the ad copy that says "Cricketeer has come out." Well, duh!
Honestly, there's no reason for the indent on those paragraphs to be quite so severe. Someone in the ad department was totally having a laugh with that one.
And I'm not really sure that birthday suits are "wrinkle resistant." As the years go by, mine seems to have given up the fight and isn't resisting too much anymore, if you know what I mean!
I do, however, take issue with their claim that the Cricketeer knit suit is "easier to wear" than a birthday suit. All those buttons? Totally not as easy. And how exactly is it easier to pay for? My birthday suit came free. I don't know about theirs...
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It's almost Father's Day, so you'd best be picking out the right tie for his special day. But why not try something else for a change? You won't believe what this dad is getting from his son in this ad... and what this dad looks like he already has! Make that jump already!
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We're not even going to deal with this weird "madder" dye process or the fabulousness of the logo for McGregor Sportswear. Because even though this ad is from 1960, I love these shirts. I would totally wear them now.
No, we're gonna start right in on the little boy giving his dad the tiniest trophy in the world. I mean, I know kids don't have their own money for proper presents, but honestly, couldn't mom have helped out? of course, there may not be a mom in the picture. I mean, Dad looks awful comfortable with that Silver Fox, if you know what I mean. Might little Timmy have two daddies? Very progressive for 1960!
Oh, and since I'm not up on my handkerchief code, can someone tell me what a green paisley in the right pocket means? Thanks!
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Back in the seventies, science-fiction was huge. Star Wars, Star Trek, whatever... Also, people were getting into fitness, with jogging really taking off. So what happens when you combine the two? Make the jump and find out! (Sort of)
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I can't tell you how disappointed I was to discover that this ad was just for a weight-gain supplement. I was really hoping that it was for some kind of awesome plastic suit with a massage belt or something that you wore to get in shape. I love ads for things like that. You know, where they claim you don't have to do anything yourself? Awesome. But no, for whatever reason, Wate-On has taken a bizarre science-fiction approach to sell their product. I'm not sure what one has to do with the other, but whatever. I also feel like they should've had the guy facing forward, and not just because I'd rather look at him than her. It's just that you can't really tell how big he is. Also, why do they look so angry? Does Wate-On taste that bad?
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Ignore the asinine celebrity gossip in the link coming up; the important bit is that Winona Ryder has confirmed that a sequel to the 1988 cult classic Heathers is in the works. Both Ryder and Christian Slater seem set to reprise their roles (with Slater presumably playing some sort of ghost or hallucination).
The original Heathers stars Winona as a conflicted teenager who conspires with a mysterious love interest (Slater) to murder her snobbish, popular peers. It's assumed that the sequel will visit the main character's adult life.
Winona: I Have "No Resentment" Toward Angelina Jolie [Us Magazine]
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Sometimes you look back at the past and you wonder "what were we thinking?" And then other times you look back and wish it could be like that again. And I'm not just talking about nostalgic toys or TV shows or whatever. I'm talking about traditional comforts that we took for granted that we can no longer enjoy. Like this delicious spread right here. You didn't used to have to go to a restaurant to have a meal like this...
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Yeah, I know. It's not like it was served in such a luxurious fashion. This ad is from the year before I was born, but I'm pretty sure you still got the food in little plastic trays in tiny portions. But as I prepare to fly again for the first time in two decades (what — it scares the bejeezus out of me!), I've discovered that air travel is no longer the luxury it once was.
I'm pretty sure I'm not going to encounter any kind of "Ground Ambassador" who will happily answer all of my questions and make sure I get where I need to go. And I know for a fact I'm not going to find a choice of three different international meals during my six-hour flight. No more complimentary dinners. Nope, there's a pretty limited menu of overpriced "gourmet" treats to choose from. And if you think I'm going to pay nearly ten bucks for a tiny little sandwich or eight bucks for a fruit and cheese "platter," you're out of your ever-lovin' mind.
I guess the entertainment options are better now. Instead of a choice of two movies and eight channels of "stereo music, humor and news," now you get your own personal screen where you can on-demand movies, TV shows and even games. Although I have to wonder how you chose between the two movies back in the day when they offered one for general audiences and one for mature. Were the screens right next to each other and you just chose which audio to listen to with your headphones? Because then you could keep the cursing, but you'd have to be careful with what footage you showed, otherwise little Timmy would be asking a lot of questions...
Still, I can't get over that spread. Damn cutbacks... Oh, and I kind of can't get over that upholstery, either! Fabulous!
]]>Thanks very much to Heath for E-mailing me this link so that I could share it with you all. It's been making the rounds on Facebook, but in case none of your friends posted it, here it is in all its glory: The literal version of Bonnie Tyler's 80's classic "Total Eclipse of the Heart." Usually, a music video reflects the lyrics of the song. But when that doesn't happen, it's nice that someone took the time to rework the lyrics to reflect what's going on in the video. And when you're talking about a video like "Total Eclipse of the Heart," which is kind of batshit crazy to begin with, what you end up with is a hilarious mishmash of insanity, half-naked men and big hair. What the effing crap, that angel guy just felt me up!
]]>Thanks to our own JonoStarsmore, I was alerted to this hilarious video of clips of Heroes' fabulously gay siblings Peter and Nathan Petrelli set to the dulcet tones of SNL's "Jizz In My Pants." Okay, no, the characters aren't technically gay, but anyone who's seen an episode of the show can tell you that the hoyay is practically off the charts. I have to believe that the actors are doing it on purpose. After the jump, I've included the original video that Jono linked to, which is also funny (Matt Parkman's O-face is also wonderfully appropriate), but this one made me laugh more because it's fun to see the clips of the brothers being so... close. Hee!
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