Maggie Graham's seasonal one-woman show, wherein she impersonates a bevy of gay icons, is back for three special performances in New York this December. Watch as Carol Channing invokes the essences of Judy Garland, Angela Lansbury, and many more in a rollicking Christmas show that, much like the Matrix, must be seen for itself. Check out the website for more info.
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Note to people who live in any of Stephen King's creations: don't live in Maine. If you live in Maine, move somewhere else. Nothing good ever happens there. Case in point.
In King's newest book, Under the Dome, a small town in Maine becomes trapped under an invisible force field. Chaos ensues as the citizens turn against one another, turning to violence in their fight for survival.
The book has already been optioned as a possible HBO miniseries to be produced by Steven Spielberg. Might I suggest a wildly appropriate little-known late nineties dance song for the soundtrack?
Steven Spielberg Teams with Stephen King for Under the Dome [Slashfilm]
I love unnecessarily censored videos. Some of them are just hilarious. Like, for instance, this brilliant video of "The Count Song" from Sesame Street. It's technically SFW, but at the same time, be careful, because your boss might wonder why you're laughing so hard you're crying at your desk. Enjoy!
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Oh yeah, you know what these are. Jordache jeans. The classic. 1979. Skin tight, dark blue, and awesome. Wanna see the rest of them and who's wearing them? Make the jump!
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Huh. So that's the Jordache look.
I can see where it would definitely get you some attention. But while he might be okay, I can only imagine that wearing "The Jordache Look" is gonna get her in some trouble when she's walking around in public!
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
I think even in the seventies, this tag would have been kind of unusual. But I promise you it's not the strangest thing you'll find when you look at the full ad after the jump. Of course, don't be making the jump thinking you're going to be seeing Olympian athletes of guys in togas or anything. It was the seventies, after all. You're going to see some of the snazziest polyester ware you've ever seen! Don't be scared!
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See what I mean? The tag is kind of quaint compared to that outfit. But it's this guy's fantastic mustache that really makes his look complete. It's a little too fabulous for words. It also makes him look like classic 70s porn king Harry Reems.
But even better than the mustache is what he's wearing. That's right. It's a body suit. This is not two pieces, but one. How awesome is that? My only complaint is that we can't see how wide the flares are on the bottom of the pants!
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Okay, I know it's not the season for popsicles, but this ad just caught my eye... and then turned my stomach.
This kid might look like he's enjoying this frozen treat, but I'm going to have to give him all the credit in the world for faking it. Because once you make the jump, you'll see just how unappetizing this thing must be!
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Okay, frozen strawberries? Yummy. Whipped cream? Delish. Miniature marshmallows? Who doesn't like those? But wait... what's that other ingredient?
That's right. It's made with Miracle Whip Salad Dressing.
Which means it's a miracle if it tastes good.
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Don't you just love this kind of psychedelic artwork? You know, the kind you'd find all over the place in the sixties and seventies. On T-shirts, posters, and whatnot... especially black light posters. Wild, man!
But there's one place where you never thought you'd see psychedelic imagery... see what it is after the break!
That's right, renowned psychedelic artist Peter Max apparently designed some pantyhose in 1972. Go figure.
I mean nowadays, you can buy sleeves that make it look like you have tattoos without making the commitment to the permanency and pain of the real thing. But would you really want to do that to your legs?
And I know certain patterns might work on stockings, but these? They may look pretty cool in this picture, but I'd love to know what kind of outfits would possibly go with these pantyhose without instantly striking anyone witnessing the combination blind. Or insane. Or both!
]]>I knew it! Adam Lambert's singing will bring about the apocalypse!
]]>I know a lot of people aren't watching Saturday Night Live anymore, and admittedly, it's been a little hit-or-miss lately. This season in particular, has had a rough start. But this sketch just cracked me up and I felt I had to share it with all of you.
You know how towards the end, the last couple sketches become completely surreal and random, and you're not sure if it's SNL or the fact that you're half-asleep? Well, this has to be the most surreal and random sketch I've seen in a while. It's pure insanity, and pure genius. What's up with that?
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
What could this lovely young lass be selling in 1976? Is she playing tennis? Or doing some painting? One thing's for sure, judging from the sour look on her face, she's taking no prisoners. Is that really the best way to sell a product? Make the jump and see what you think!
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Right. So they get a tomboyish woman to dress all sporty and pose in a nondescript location to sell tequila? How does that make any sense at all? I mean, trying to get woman to buy and drink tequila is going to be a hard sell to begin with, but how does this help? Do they think that comparing Cuervo Especial to tasting "somewhere between the smooth of scotch and the mellow of really good cognac" is going to reach this audience?
I do love their suggestion that when you're bored, have some tequila on the rocks, but if you're really bored, go ahead and have a snifter of straight tequila. Really? A snifter? That's for brandy. Or something you might want to sip. Tequila is not something to sip. It's something to shoot as quickly as possible. You don't really want it to linger on the taste buds. (At least not in my experience!)
Of course, clearly they're trying to market this towards women who would do something unconventional like raise eyebrows by drinking tequila in public. But somehow, looking at this very generic woman dressed in pure white, I don't see her ever touching that little glass of tequila on the railing in front of her.
The whole thing makes about as much sense as the tag line. You "always" drink it "now and then?" Riiiiight...
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
It was 1969, so everything was being advertised as futuristic, no matter what it was. Even foul-tasting watery orangeish-flavored breakfast drink was being marketed as what the astronauts drank. But would you really want futuristic hair? Spoiler: This is not how people are wearing their hair in the future.
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First my eye goes to the woman in her aluminum foil ensemble reclining and desperately trying to make it look like she's comfortable. Not likely. Then I notice the actual product itself, which has the most awesome artwork I've ever seen. I love the eyes and lips with the cap as some kind of hat. Very clever, and mod. But then I'm distracted by the bouffant of curls on the model in the final illustrative bubble. Wait, you wanted to look like that on purpose?
Yeah, okay, it was the sixties. Big hair was... um, big. But when you read what this product does, I'm a little grossed out. So you don't shampoo for a couple days, leaving your hair flat and lifeless? No problem. Just spray a little lektro set and the heat from your hair dryer will dry your hair back out and make it stand up again in just ten minutes! Um, okay...
... but wouldn't it be faster to just... I don't know... wash your damn hair?
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I stumbled upon these delicious pieces of artwork and simply had to share with you all. An incredibly talented artist has done some sexed-up renderings of Disney's princes and male hunks that simply have to be seen to be believed. Two of my favorites are above — I don't really remember Lilo & Stitch that well, but if David looked like this in it, I'm sure it would never leave my DVD player! And who wouldn't have enjoyed Milo in Atlantis more if he had been wearing a Speedo throughout? Click on over here to see the whole lot!
Disney Heroes As They Appear In Your Dreams [World Of Wonder]
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retrophilia (ret troh FEE lee uh) n. 1 An intense attraction for things of the past. 2 a weekly series for popsucker wherin the irrepressible Wootini reveals the horrors of the past to the present to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.
Oh, this girl looks happy, doesn't she? And it's got nothing to do with Spam. Well, not entirely. I mean, Spam certainly helped her out, but not because she ate it! Nothing good can come of eating Spam. (In all fairness, I have actually never consumed Spam, but that's just because it's one of the most unappealing foodstuffs I've ever seen. So please don't tell me how delicious it is and how I should totally try it, because I won't. Ever.) But make the jump to see why this chick is beaming!
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Now this is the kind of Spam sandwich I'm talking about!
I know you young-uns in the audience might think these guys have funny hair, but let me tell you, in 1979, these guys were hawt! (Yes, even with the dark blue, skin-tight, high-waisted denim jeans...)
I would totally wear a Spam T-shirt like this, especially if it would turn me into the meat in a cute boy sandwich! And you know what the best part about this mail-in offer is? You don't need to send in a proof of purchase from the Spam tin, so you don't even have to buy and/or eat the processed "meat" product! Score!
Too bad the offer expired August 31... Of 1979.
]]>This isn't real, is it? I mean, somebody didn't actually spend money and time and effort to make some kind of a tween vampire musical with High School Musical cutie Lucas Grabeel, did they? Because that would be crazy. And it would probably be tremendously awful. So awful that it wouldn't even go direct to DVD because they couldn't afford to press the discs. No, it would go direct to digital, which is probably the direct to video of the new millennium.
Right? This is a joke, right? Or a parody? A satire? A nightmarish fever dream that was somehow captured and then posted to YouTube? Right? Right?
]]>I don't know how I feel about this. Michael Bay needs to stop raping my childhood horror films. I didn't really appreciate what he did to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but what he did to Friday the 13th was just annoying. Now he's going after one of my all-time favorites, A Nightmare on Elm Street. Why? I don't know how I feel about this trailer. On the one hand, some of the dream imagery looks pretty good. And the Nightmare movies live and die by the nightmare sequences. (My favorite was the time loop in the fourth one, I think. Subtle, but effective.) As far as casting goes, it's got Beaver from Veronica Mars, which is a plus, double plus for skin, too. And Katie Cassidy is good, but as Kris, she won't last long. Oddly, although we only hear him as Freddy for a tiny bit at the very end, Jackie Earle Haley doesn't look great, and sounds worse. When I heard they'd cast him, I'd thought based on his Rorshach in Watchmen that he was brilliantly cast. Now? Not so much. Still, it's just a trailer, and I will wait until I've seen the actual movie before casting my stones. (I'm just glad that Rob Zombie was the one who attempted Halloween...)
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