Portent Interactive, Seattle, WA

Fisher Plaza: Service Restored, Portent Response

2009-07-04T16:27:08Z

If you host a web site with Portent, you've been kept apprised of the situation that started Thursday night at 11 PM.

At this point, all sites are back 'live'. The Fisher Plaza East data center is running on temporary power from Caterpillar generators that the City of Seattle set up outside.

Here's a quick rundown of what happened, why, and how we can avoid it in the future:

Chain of Events

Thursday

11 PM: A fire breaks out in the electrical hub at Plaza Center East. The sprinkler system activates, but floods and shorts out the emergency generators. Plaza Center East goes dark some time before 12 AM Friday.

Friday

12 AM: We receive an alarm that our sites are 'down'. We attempt to contact our servers, can't connect, and then attempt to contact Adhost. Adhost's phones and servers are all down, as well, because of the fire. We try to contact them repeatedly over the next several hours.

5 AM: We get news of the fire at Fisher Plaza. Until 5 AM Pacific, no news outlet or other resource reported about it. We found the information via Twitter and by checking Seattle Fire Department incident logs. So much for Seattle's 'old media'. To be fair, though, two of Seattle's primary news stations are also knocked out by the fire, so they can't report any news.

5:30 AM: We contact all Portent hosting clients regarding the outage. At this point, it's very clear this problem will last the day. I review alternatives and decide we have to sit tight and wait for power to be restored. We can't get into the building yet; any repointed web sites will take 24 hours to 'repoint' across the entire internet; and then repointing them back to Adhost would take another 24 hours.

5:45 AM: We shut down all pay per click advertising for sites that are offline.

We spend the rest of Friday monitoring the situation. Where possible, we use client's Facebook and Twitter accounts to notify their customers.

Saturday

1 AM: Building power is reconnected. Power supplies are recharged, and HVAC is restarted to cool the building before servers restart. The building got up to over 100 degrees inside during the day (it's been over 85 degrees for the last several days).

4 AM: Servers come back online. Power restored to the building.

What Could Have Prevented This?

In the end, Portent had only one way to avoid this outage: Host all web sites in two physical locations. Then, when Fisher Plaza East lost power, we could have started up the sites in the other location.

The problem with this solution: It's expensive. Extremely expensive. It requires that we duplicate the hosting environment - hardware and software - and that we constantly keep both hosting locations in sync. For a once-per-decade power outage, the cost/benefits balance just doesn't work.

Future Plans

However, cost/benefits analysis doesn't feel as good right after your sites are down for 26 hours. So Portent will be planning and offering two additional services:

For e-commerce and other database-driven sites: Redundant hosting in multiple physical locations. If there's a major power outage, we can flip a switch to point at the backup location, and you only experience a few minutes of downtime.

For lower-priority sites: Hosting of 'static' files, such as images, video and pages that don't change, using Amazon S3. Backup of databases and other dynamic files using Amazon S3, as well. That way, moving to a new location in an emergency might take time but is still possible, even if all connectivity to Adhost is lost.

These services will cost extra: Portent will have to pay for data transfer, hardware and power usage for the additional storage and the 'mirroring' necessary to keep separate locations synchronized. Once we've worked out pricing, we will help you with the cost/benefits analysis.

I hope this information is helpful, and I appreciate everyone's patience during the outage.

AdWords Bid Simulator Update

2009-06-18T17:11:43Z

As we all already know Google AdWords has beta testing the AdWords Bid Simulator feature since late May/early June. So what's new since then? I'll show you:

Previous screenshots of the new feature have not included this Cost versus Clicks graph, which gives you a nice visual on how your estimated stats will look like with an increase in bid.

Unfortunately, I couldn't find much else on this new feature, it's been like an Easter egg hunt just to even find campaigns that have it enabled.

What we do know:
It's campaign based, not just account based. Last week I found it in a campaign, but this week, that same campaign no longer has the feature. But a campaign within that same account did.

If you click "use bid" next to your desired amount it populates the search bid field with that amount and the pop up with the estimates and graph goes away. No changes are made until you click "save changes."

It does not appear to be in the new interface, only in the previous interface.

Even the AdWords Bid Simulator Reference Guide isn't showing the graph feature in the screenshots of the product.

Look for the tiny blue print for "bid simulator" on your keyword list to see if you have it:

I'm curious if anyone else has found anything else new or is able to disprove any my theories!

Nofollow frenzy: Google Makes Major Policy Reversal on PageRank Sculpting

2009-06-11T18:06:00Z

On June 2, 2009 Google reversed itself when it announced that the nofollow attribute (rel="nofollow") can no longer be used to redirect PageRank. Google's Matt Cutts stated that nofollow tags would now evaporate PageRank. This is a major policy change by Google's, one that impact advanced search engine optimization.

I want to discuss

What is PageRank?
What is a nofollow link?
The old Google behavior
The new Google behavior
SEO Options and recommendations

What is PageRank?

PageRank,called link juice by some, is a signal created by and measured by search engine results ranking algorithms. This is the foundation of Google's original rankings algorithm and one of the three pillars of SEO (content, site architecture and links). In simple terms, every link is a vote. A link (vote) from a page that itself has lots of links or has links from highly trusted pages possesses more influence than a link (vote) from a page with only a few links or links from low-authority pages. PageRank can come from internal and external links.

PageRank is reusable. PageRank does not disappear after a search engine weighs a page's authority. Instead, the receiving page passes much of its PageRank onto the pages that it links to. It passes 1/n of the PageRank to each document the page links to, n being is the number of document being linked to. Because of this nature, we can control the flow of PageRank to boost important pages and promote the indexing of deep content by search engines.

What is a NoFollow Link?

Google and other search engines prefer it when websites do not pass authority to other websites if

1. The link is a paid advertisement or insertion

2. The author or website administrators are unsure about the quality of a web page being linked to

Telling webmasters to not create these links would be unacceptable requirement. Yet, these types of links pollute the search engines' ranking algorithms. As a band-aid, the search engines created the nofollow tag to keep links in place, but without passing PageRank.

This is how a nofollow tag is placed into a link's HTML markup:

<a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.examplecompanysite.com" target="_blank">Anchor Text</a>

PageRank Sculpting

PageRank sculpting is an advanced SEO technique used by 3% of web sites. Google web spam team member Matt Cutts has confirmed that, "...you are allowed to control how the PageRank flows around within your site," and, "...if you have a certain amount of budget of PageRank, you certainly can sculpt your PageRank." Advanced websites did exactly that.

In large part, PageRank determines how often Google crawls your web site, how many pages it crawls and how many pages it indexes. Every document has a limited amount of PageRank that it can pass. As PageRank is repeatedly passed from page to page it diminishes. Eventually, without external backlinks to refill the tank, PageRank runs out.

Because PageRank is a scarce resource, what you link to becomes important. Even Google's Matt Cutts suggests that web designers use internal link architecture strategically. For example, from the home page you should link to product pages with good ROI and not to pages that do not sell well.

Many sites do not adhere to a search engine friendly internal link architecture. Instead, designers want to design for people. They frequently use drop-down menus, spider menus or on-page menus to link to every possible category, sub-category and content page believing that this will create a better user experience for their human visitors.

Did you know that a designer's desire to make every important page immediately available to readers can be counter to people's normal scan-click-refine web browsing behavior?

To counter this tangle of links, SEO strategists will nofollow links that do not adhere to good architecture to stop them from wasting PageRank.

Google's Old Behavior

Google allows webmasters to choose which links pass PageRank and which do not. The most common method for controlling PageRank flow--also known as sculpting PageRank and Link Juice irrigation--was to use nofollow tags like irrigation gates. When the tag is present the gate is closed causing more PageRank to flow through those links with no nofollow tags.

Google's New Behavior

At this month's SMX Advanced conference, Matt Cutts stated, then later confirmed that using the nofollow tag will not conserve and redirect PageRank. Instead it "evaporates" PageRank. The authority disappears.

This is important because

Pages into which webmasters push additional PageRank will no longer receive those boosts.
Popular pages with user-generated content, such as blog comments, could become vulnerable. Traditionally blogs link to each comment writer's website. Now, every new comment and link will dilute PageRank a little more. This can happen in forums and wikis and other types of user-generated content too.

SEO Options and Recommendations

The best option for controlling the flow of PageRank is to employ good web page and internal link architecture. Here is one example.

Navigation
- The home page links to category pages
- Category pages link their sub-category pages
- Category pages link to other category pages but not other category sub-pages
- Subcategory pages link to content pages within the sub-category
- Subcategory pages link to other subcategory pages within the same category and to the category page
- Content pages link to the parent sub-category page and the parent category page
- All pages link to the home page
Content - Link to any page as is appropriate to the context of your content and link to high ROI pages you want to give an extra boost to
Websites should not extend beyond five levels of depth, including the home page as level 1. Every page should be within four clicks of the home page along a breadcrumb path (Unless your website is huge)

The more trust and authority your site has, or the more PageRank you have, the more liberal you can be with your internal linking.

As far as we know it is still permissible to control the flow of PageRank and this can be accomplished by some of the same methods which were popular before the introduction of the nofollow tag. For example, links can be placed in iFrames. An iFrame is web page or web markup snippet that one can insert into a web page. When you disallow an iFrame file in robots.txt its links pass no PageRank.

I'm not going to go into all the different methods for sculpting PageRank. You should know that Google is now reading Javascript and Flash links, so you will probably want to try something different. Finally, we do not recommend methods that could be described as cloaking, such as polling whether or not cookies are enabled before displaying links. People and search engines should receive the same versions of your web pages.

As for combating the dilution of PageRank in user-generated content like blog comments, we recommend a wait and see approach. Frequent comments are a signal of quality and search engines will not want to punish content that receives lots of comments. Otherwise, sites like TechCrunch would lose their rankings. Expect an announcement from Google to clarify this.

Image by Neil Cummings

Writing Killer Ad Copy...and not getting arrested

2009-06-05T16:09:31Z

As promised, my presentation from the SMX Advanced session Writing Killer Ad Copy. You'll laugh. You'll cry. And you'll completely re-think how you write ads.

Keep in mind that this presentation was created for advanced paid search specialists. The purpose of the session was to get people thinking "outside the box." My job was to go so far outside the box that it would be almost uncomfortable and to also bring humor to what can be a very tedious job, managing paid search campaigns.

Writing Killer Ad Copy

View more OpenOffice presentations from Elizabeth Marsten.

Read the warnings and disclaimers slide thoroughly. Use common sense and remember that the content network is a GREAT place to try stuff like this. Content network ads have to be attention getting in order to get that person to leave the content they're currently viewing. These tactics are a fantastic way to do that. And yes, they really work.

The 5 S's: How Portent Works

2009-06-04T23:41:05Z

I've been writing about the 5 S's quite a bit of late. They're 5 different kinds of optimization - story, search, strategy, spend, site - and they're the core of our internet marketing philosophy.

They also tie our services together. We have a long list of skills inhouse here at Portent, but really what we do is much more than a few items on a menu. Hopefully, this video explains a little bit about it:

The 5 Kinds of Optimization: How Portent Works from ian lurie on Vimeo.

We've got High Tweets - We got High Tweets

2009-06-02T16:36:47Z

Try singing the title to High Hopes and you'll understand...

Everywhere you turn, Twitter.

Every move you make, Twitter!

Every breath you take, Twitter!

Twitter Twitter Twitter!

It's not just you. It's not just young, social-media addicts or those pesky internet marketing geeks (Wait, we're Internet marketing geeks, really good ones!).

Oprah's doing it.

Ashton's doing it.

Heck, my fifty-five-year-old father is doing it, without protection!

There's only one problem. You bore us.

Stop using Twitter to announce that you're drinking coffee. Well, it's okay if your coffee beans come out of a Peruvian dingo's behind while eco-friendly non-migrant fair-trade coffee farm owners separate the beans and charge you $112 a pound. Now that's worth Twittering.

But that's okay, because now, thanks to the power of Portent Interactive, you can be...interesting.

Introducing,

High Tweets

Now you too can keep your finger on the very pulse of pop culture and Internet news. Keep abreast of the latest buzz and tweet messages which prove you are in the know. It's all at the speed of light...minus only five miniscule minutes.

Introducing High Tweets, the new, bold and flavorful way to analyze exciting Twitter trends.

How High Tweets Works

Every five minutes, it grabs the latest trending topics from the Twitter Search API and stores the results in a database.

What High Tweets Shows

Susan Boyle, Eminem, Barack Obama, George Michael, MTV, Twitter, Jay Leno, Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana, Twitter, 4G Double Speed Wireless Router, Twitter...

If it's on the minds of most Twitterers it's on High Tweets. I just wish George Michael was still popular.

What High Tweets Looks Like

High Tweets look like a tag cloud. The more often people tweet something the bigger it gets.

High Tweets also shows velocity.

The topics that are trending the fastest come first in this list.

With High Tweets and a quality search engine link Bing you can become instantly more cool than Dad and his pathetic tweets about drinking coffee at 9 AM.

So what are you waiting for? Give it a go, why don't you. Try High Tweets here!

Writing Killer Ad Copy: SMX Advanced Seattle Speaker

2009-05-28T23:08:45Z

That's right, yours truly is on one of many SMX Advanced panels this June 2 and 3rd in Seattle, dedicated to organic, paid search and internet marketing tactics. In particular my panel is on the paid search track for "Writing Killer Ad Copy- The Interactive Edition." After the conference, I'll post my presentation here (or rather a link to it) for those that couldn't make it across the country or foot the entry fee into the conference. A sneak peak of what I'll be presenting on:

Writing ads that use guilt or are aggressive:

Buy My Stuff Now
Hey You! Yeah, You.
What are you waiting for?

Stuffed Animal Sale
Remember that kid you made cry?
Save on Super Soft Stuffed Animals!

Thinking outside the conventional box of ad copy:

Avoid Wedding Disasters
Get the Dress, the Tiara &
the Swans. You Earned it!
www.Bridezilla.com

And my favorite...writing ads that sound dirty, but aren't. You'll just have to come back after June 3rd and checkout the entire presentation!

The Future of Search - Bing It On

2009-05-28T17:40:45Z

Sometimes when I walk through book stores I read the titles on spines and imagine what the story is about. I'll develop characters and elaborate plots which could make quite convincing stories. Except, usually my story is nothing like the story in the book.

I mention this because I watched Microsoft's Bing video today. Supposedly, Bing will be the next evolution in organizing and presenting search results. Microsoft says Bing is not a search engine, it's a decision engine. You can see the video at http://www.decisionengine.com/Default.html.

Except for the video, I do not know what Bing will be like, not really. I have not read the press releases or descriptions. I am not following the live press event as I write this. Instead, I'm going to tell you the story I saw on the book spine or, in this case, the vision of search that the Bing video evoked within me.

Up until now Internet search has remained in two separate compartments, organic and paid. The supposition is that you cannot maintain credibility and trustworthiness when you mix free and sponsored content.

But what if that paid content comes from experts at impeccable sources? What if that content is reviewed by other experts? To twist the model even more, what if the search engine pays a trusted expert to create content, then the search engine folds that content into its search results?

I think it will happen. I believe that in the near future search engines will mix

Organic content
Sponsored content
Commissioned content
In-house content

How will search engines overcome our prejudices against mixing the streams, against combining non-paid and paid search results? By presenting results people want. The average person doesn't care where their information comes from. They want a search engine that works. They want to be able to buy that hard to find gift or book the cheapest flight or know what might be causing their symptoms. The average person does not care where their information comes from as long as it's good information.

If the search engine of the future operates smoothly; provides correct, valuable and usable information; and looks good doing it, people will not argue about combining non-paid and paid content. They will hail it as a great leap forward. They may even turn the search engine's name into a verb.

MSN AdCenter Content Network Reports

2009-05-21T18:43:18Z

This week as part of the MSN AdCenter Spring Upgrade a new feature was released that's been a long time coming: Content Network reports! Ever wonder what those mystery "Microsoft property sites" are? I sure have. I asked an AdCenter rep once and got a "we don't know either" answer which I found pretty unsatisfactory. But now we can see where on the content network of Microsoft sites our ads are showing and even going that extra step to block a few. So what do we do next? Rip it apart of course!

Accessing the reports is easy enough through two venues. 1.) The reports tab and 2.) The campaign and ad group settings pages. This means that you can apply excluded sites at both the ad group and campaign levels. Hooray!

If you access the report from the campaign or ad group "Additional Settings" area, the default date range is the last 30 days. You can't change this, once you click the "view report" link it's off and running. However it does open up in a new tab, which is nice and while you're waiting for the report to show in that tab, there are additional links on the page for creating additional reports but that page disappears when the report is ready.

Let's take a look at what a sample report shows:

This report shows both search and content sites in one report. The interesting part of the search domains is that you can now see from which Microsoft properties people are using Live Search from. There's "search.live.com" which is the live.com page, but the other sites like "club.live.com" and "games.live.com" meaning that someone was using their games site and then performed a search that brought them to a Live search results page.

Then of course, there's those sites that are a part of the MSN network like "astrocenter.astrology.msn.com" and then sites that are from the publisher network "scribd.com" that have been deemed relevant by MSN.

Once you know what sites you want to block (astrology tops that list) then return to the tab of the campaign or ad group that you want to block the sites from. Click on the "edit" link under website exclusions and begin adding URLs. Click "Add to website list" then click "apply" to save. An interesting option in this feature is that you can also edit your negative keyword list from within this same window.

What I would like to see is the functionality to apply the same negative sites or keyword lists to additional campaigns or ad groups without the cutting and pasting.

Now accessing through another venue:

From the reports tab, you can see previous reports that you've run using that "run report" button from the campaign or ad group settings page. If you don't want to see all the campaigns mashed into one you can select the campaigns on the report page. Problem was when I tried to see just one of the campaigns and the placement performance results for that campaign for the same date range, the report came back with a "no data available for the criteria you selected." But I know there is data, based on the report that I was successfully able to run from the campaign settings page. (Per the example above.) So what's the deal with trying to make the same report but from the actual reports section?

Clearly some bugs to work out, but knowing now that a product intended for Kindergarteners is showing on the Astrology page and being able to block that site is one small step for PPC, one giant leap for AdCenter.

Into the deep blue Internet

2009-05-14T16:35:03Z

Today's the day! Yes, you will jump off the high platform into the deep blue Internet below.

All you know for sure is: the water is cold, and you can only hold your breath for 11 seconds. Don't worry, it's not as bad as the time we made you waltz on a floor of glass marbles with a guy dressed up like Chewbacca.

p.s. Don't worry, this is all just a dream...

New Predictive PPC Tool: Paid Search Return Estimations

2009-05-08T21:41:53Z

The Paid Search Problem

Let's be honest. All too often, starting or optimizing a paid search campaign is a guessing game.

You make obvious changes to your keyword list, rewrite some ads, and setup a new landing page - but for the most part, it's like a Jackson Pollock painting. You throw a bunch of things at a canvas and hope for a work of art. If that doesn't work, you whitewash the canvas and start over.

To be fair, there are tools that will give you a fairly good indication of what you'll pay for a term, what kind of traffic to expect, and what your competitors' ads look like. But what's missing from that equation? Return on investment.

The Paid Search Solution

Here at Portent, we've devised a simple tool - a spreadsheet that shows roughly what you stand to spend, and more importantly, what you stand to gain from newly proposed keywords.

How does it work? It's based on two assumptions: Per visit value (PVV) and Click through rate (CTR) from paid search sources. If you've run any test campaigns in the past, these two stats are easily found in Google Analytics.

(See screenshots: find PVV, find CTR)

If you can't find these easily for paid search sources - just use per visit value for your site in general, and derive click through rate directly from Google AdWords, Yahoo Search Marketing, or MSN AdCenter.

Why are these two stats important? Per visit value establishes what the average visitor to your site is worth. Click through rate establishes an assumed percentage of people that will reach your site from the ads you show.

With that said...

Using the Predictive PPC Tool

Step 1:

Download the spreadsheet.

Step 2:

Plug your newly discovered PVV and CTR in at the top of spreadsheet.

For best results, be sure to go back six months to a year in Analytics when obtaining these stats. It'll give a more complete picture of how your site normally performs on paid search traffic.

Step 3:

Do your normal keyword research and export your chosen terms in any format you can open in Excel.

(See screenshot: export for Excel)

Google's External Keyword Tool works nicely. Which tool you use isn't necessarily important though, as long as you can determine two more stats about the keywords you're researching: estimated Cost per click (CPC) and Monthly search volume.

Step 4:

Copy & paste (as Values) the keyword, estimated CPC, and Monthly search volume from the .csv file to the appropriate columns in the tool. And, voila!

(See screenshots: copy and paste)

This tool will give you estimations for how many clicks you can expect, how much you will spend per month, and how much revenue you stand to make. From that, it also determines an estimated ROI percentage - the holy grail of any paid search effort.

Caveats & Interpreting The Results

Obviously, there are some considerations. You can't go proclaiming these figures as gospel truths at your next company/client budget meeting.

The tool assumes (presumes?) a lot:

a) that you have the budgetary resources to buy every click available to you,

b) that your ads are running 24/7,

and c) that your per visit value and click through rate figures are indeed accurate.

But this tool is capable of finding the proverbial ceiling for your keyword suggestions.

More vital though, it gives you an idea of how much revenue you might be leaving on the table if you don't buy certain keywords. And that can give you all the ammunition you need to make sweeping PPC changes with more confidence.

The elves were busy last night

2009-04-30T15:13:45Z

We came to work this morning, and the other half of the stairway was built!

Race you to the top?

5 Tips To Better Product Descriptions

2009-04-28T20:41:52Z

Any reputable Internet marketing company will tell you that you need product descriptions.

That's the bad news.

The good news is, they aren't difficult to write and they not only help sell the product, they can improve your Search Engine Optimization efforts. Who knew? Trouble is, most copywriters would rather write toilet plunger ads than tackle a thousand product descriptions. I can say this, because in my copy writing career I have written hundreds, maybe even thousands of them. You start the day with the wind behind your creative sales and by the time you finish product number 15, you feel like your brain was injected with Novocain. Use these five simple tips to better product descriptions and you'll sail through your next big project. That's a promise.

1. Organize Your Efforts

It's tempting to start with cool products that get your creative juices flowing. But don't start writing until you know which products need descriptions right away and which ones can wait. If you're selling shoes and it's spring, start with sandals, not winter boots. What are people searching for? What are your customers buying? Add content to those products first and save the rest for later.

2. Kill Two Descriptions with One Trick

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you cannot copy and paste one description into a similar product's description. Not even if the products look exactly the same. The Google Gods frown upon duplicate content. Don't cry. When you feel carpal tunnel coming on and your brain turns into a puddle (usually by description 25), copy the text. Then, paste it into the next description and change a few words. The "bag" in description one becomes a "tote" in description two. Green is now lime, forest, or sage. Add in a fresh sentence or two and viola -- a two-for-one product description deal and no duplicate content!

3. Make Your Copy Pirouette Off the Page

You don't have to be a writer to tell the difference between copy that gracefully leaps off the page and copy that clumsily falls flat.

Bad: These dark black shoes are really nice in warm weather....

Who wants nice shoes? I don't. I want bold, fashionable, chic. I want boots for dancing, slippers to lounge in, sandals for seaside strolls on autumn afternoons. Nice means boring. Never use the word "nice" in a product description. And while I'm on the subject, use the word "perfect," sparingly. An editor (and rabid baseball fan) once told me that "perfect," only applies to God and maybe Babe Ruth.

Better: Made for women on the move, these knockout heels by Fake Shoe Co. take you from the boardroom to happy hour in style.

Just like the "upside-down triangle" in journalism, there's a formula to product descriptions. Use bullet points for all the important details: what comes with, what it's made of, and how much it measures. Tempting as it may be, don't show off your expansive vocabulary in your web content -- save that for dinner parties. Write for your readers. Extract the word "elemental," and replace with "simple." You don't want potential customers skipping off to the online dictionary; you want them to stay on the page and purchase!

4. Add Keywords and Keyword Rich Links

Once you're done crafting your description, go back through and pepper the content with keywords. And when I say pepper, I mean pepper. Use keywords just like you would pepper a salad - too much and the salad becomes inedible, too little and it doesn't make much of a difference. Add in a keyword-rich link to a high-ranking category page. If you want your web site to rank for "high-heel shoes" find out what page on your website ranks for "high-heel shoes." Then, link to that page using the words "high-heel shoes." A link doesn't have to be included in every product description, but a few good links can improve rankings. Keywords and links aren't the most exciting part of content writing, but they help your rankings AND make you look like a SEO Super Star. So use them!

5. Always be Accurate

Always be accurate in your product descriptions. Never guesstimate a measurement or assume a pair of pants has pockets. Nothing angers customers more than when they receive a box of 11 cookies instead of the box of 12 cookies they ordered. Proofread and fact-check at least three times before you click "publish," or "send." Before you begin writing, get the product details from the manufacturer or client. If you don't know something, ask. This simple step could save you from going back and rewriting 15 product descriptions because you wrote "real leather," and the bags are "faux leather." Oops.

Stairway to Heaven

2009-04-28T18:05:52Z

We're sorry. The Jenga escalator is broken. You'll have to take the stairs. Watch your step!

Stay tuned for the next Jenga creation!

36 Reasons You Need This Dummies Book

2009-04-09T22:14:28Z

Everyone knows those distinctive for Dummies books; the bright yellow cover, the triangle headed man with pointy fingers and the strange feeling you might have picking up something for Dummies.

Why? Because you know you're smart. Why would you need a book for Dummies? (Because I co-authored one, that's why.) Need a little more than that?

Fine, here are 36 reasons why you need the Web Marketing all in one for Dummies book....

Learn how to optimize a blog post to earn the top Google rank for "enraged bear."
Because no one reads your blog.
$25 coupon for Google AdWords
You're tired of seeing ads for the RichJerk but are wondering how he's making all that money.
You're pretty sure people are visiting your site. Right?
Several people were laid off, you're all that's left and you're supposed to do everything.
One leg of your table is 3 inches too short.
In the last 24hrs you got 100,000 impressions in your PPC campaign, all from Myspace and Gmail.
People keep opting out of your email list. Is it because you smell?
No one will text to win in your mobile marketing contest.
What's a Twitter?
Your site is entirely in Flash. You think it looks totally awesome and that's all you'll ever need.
Do you know what the C.O.N.V.E.R.T. M.E. formula is? You should.
A book that is 894 pages can't really be for a dummy.
You tried Google's Starter Edition of AdWords and nothing happened.
Avoid the Google sandbox. (You know what that is, right?)
How do you get into those shopping listings on Google search result pages anyway? And how do you get to be #1?
Check your local business listing on Google Maps. Is that you? Or does it go to some parked page with ads all over it?
You want to work from home but without the scam. Or kit. Or scam kit.
Some guys in India keep clicking on your ads. Make it stop!
How do you know the guys from India are clicking on your ads? Maybe they're in Indiana.
What should you put in an email to customers anyway? A dirty joke? Coupon? Cute picture of a hamster? A survey? A sale?
Yahoo Answers isn't just for 13 year olds who can't spell, type or don't have a grasp of the English language.
You have the real weight loss program everyone's been waiting for.
Writing ads for women has never been easier.
Google AdSense keeps showing ads for hot Latina women in your custom search engine results. That's good and all, but you sell windshield wipers...
You need to prove to your boss that it was your idea that worked, not his.
You and broken links on your site are intimate friends. Way too intimate.
What naming convention should you use for URLs so that search engines don't come and barf on your site in disgust?
What should you use to find out where people clicked on your site? Did they even see your coupon for free tacos?
I got this email from a guy who said we should exchange links. Should I do it?
Do people really look at advertisements on their cell phone? Let alone sign up for anything?
In the event of a water landing, it acts as a flotation device.
It took 5 people to write it. One of them has to be right...
Sure you can write. But can you write for a search engine and a person at the same time? While typing one handed? Backwards?

And last, but not least...
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