Confessions of a Postmodern Pastor

Rancho Sordo Mudo Trip, Day 1

2008-12-01T23:09:00.000-08:00

This morning Violet and I took a team of 12 people from Palm Valley Church to one of our favorate places, Rancho Sordo Mudo, the only free deaf school in all of Mexico located about 60 miles south of the Mexican boarder. We are here to do several things, mainly to build a new outhouse for the boys. When the boys found out during dinner time that this was the reason we came, they where more than excited.
Tonight was a challenging night. We heard the story of Rancho Sordo Mudo, which I have heard so many times, however, i never grow tired of hearing about God's faithfulness, and what I love so much about the story is that it causes you to want to move to action. My prayer for myself, my wife, and our group is that we will be moved to action...every day.

I'll blog more later, right now I'm off to bed!

Are you for real?

2008-09-30T21:40:00.000-07:00

Friday was another adventurous day for me as I went to see my Neurologist for our weekly hang out time, and for him to tell me things are going well, or not so well. My day started out well because Friday's are my day with my baby girl, we it was a bummer that she had to come with me to the doctor, but it was great that I was able to experience what happened with her as well.
I handed my doctor my CAT scan that I had done earlier that week, and patiently waited to hear the results. Dr. Kumar, walked in the office, and says "well it's gone!", "Say that again please" I said, "It's gone, the spot that was on your brain is now gone." I was in a little shock, "are you for real?"
Dr. Kumar went on to tell me that the spot had cleared up and was completely gone. He also mentioned that he spot with my infectious disease doctor and they planned to take me off my antibiotics that day, and that they would contact my nurse and she would pull my pick-line out of my arm! I was so excited! On my way back to my car, I was explaining to Riley what had just happened, and I know that she couldn't understand, but someday I'll get to tell her that she was there with me at the doctor's office when they told me that not just that my health had been restored, but that God used those doctors to heal me, and that there where so many people praying for me, and she was a witness to God's goodness, and faithfulness, and that prayer is the most powerful tool we have and it literally changes lives. I'm excited to someday tell her that she was there for that. I get excited to share more opportunities with Riley of how God has worked in our family, friends, and in our personal lives, and to see that impact her...that excites me!

I really want to thank everyone for your prayers and support during this time, I believe with all my heart that the only reason I made it through this crazy situation was because the Lord healed me. Thank you for your MANY PRAYERS, and support for Violet, Riley, and myself. We love you.

Pray For Test On Wednesday

2008-09-23T13:02:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I will be having another CAT scan. If all goes well with that and my report comes back good from my Neurologist on Friday, then I will be getting my pick line out of my arm. That would be AWESOME! Each day I'm feeling better, and getting stronger, so hopefully the test results will just confirm how I'm feeling.

Violet and I appreciate your prayers during this time.

Health Updates Keep Getting Better...

2008-09-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to another doctor appointment. I have to admit that this is really getting old, having weekly, sometimes 2-3x a week I'm at a doctors appointment. But hey, I am feeling better and they are doing a great job, so I'll stop complaining now.
Anyhow my doctor told me yesterday that I'm doing great, and that my staph infection was not the most serious kind of staph infection as originally suspected, which is a good thing. And the antibiotics are working great. There is still a little infection there, but it has cleared up significantly since originally going into the hospital. She told me that if all goes well with my CAT scan next week, and after she speaks with my Neurologists, and all looks like it is still going well meaning that the spot in my brain is still draining and has gotten smaller, then they will take me off my antibiotics sooner than anticipated, if things are still the same, or they have any hesitation at all, then the IV stays in my arm.
I have to say this was really encouraging, even if the IV stays in my arm a little longer, the fact that they are talking about this right now is awesome to me. It's a constant reminder to me that MY GOD is the great HEALER, and I'm thankful at the reminder that HE is constantly watching over me.

Another Health Update

2008-09-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

Today I had my Ear Nose and Throat Doctor appointment. He put a camera up my nose...could have been painful, but wasn't. He said that all looks great, especially the right side that had the worst of the infection. However, he also told me that the right side is still pulsating, and that my brain is expose as a result of infection eroding the bone. But said that all looks great besides that.

Before my Doctor left the room, I had to thank him for all he had done. My Neurologist even mentioned to me that if my ENT had not done such a great job in draining my sinuses, then things could have been different than they are now. So I was and am thankful for all he has done. I asked him if he had ever seen anything like this before, and he said it is very rare, but he had, and he had seen people fully recover as a result. He also said that this was very serious, and that because of the fact that we caught it when we did, got the right medical attention, and then proceeded to say, "more than that, someone upstairs in on your side."

Hearing a Doctor acknowledge the fact that even with all the medical attention, this was bigger than he was, really blew me away. I left thankful for my Doctor, and then team of Doctor's that I had in the hospital, but I was and am even more thankful to my GOD, who is BIGGER than all this.

There have been so many people praying for me and my family, people that I don't even know, but I firmly believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the only reason I'm still alive is because my GOD heard those prayers, and my GOD has a BIG plan. Every day I wake up, I'm thankful that I get to be a part of it.

Violet and I have a verse that we have clung to for our marriage, Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Quick Health Update

2008-09-09T11:21:00.000-07:00

Every Monday my nurse comes out to our house to take some blood, and to change the dressing on my arm where my pick line is. She mentioned to me that my white blood count is dropping with is good, meaning that the antibiotics are working and fighting the staph infection, however, I did find out that I will always have the staph infection, but at least it's making it go down at the moment.

Yesterday afternoon I went for my weekly CAT scan, and then went to my Neurologist Doctor this morning and he informed me that the spot in my brain is now slowly going down. It is now smaller than it was last week, not by a huge amount, but still has shrunk a little bit.

I firmly believe that the only reason I'm where I'm at is because of my God. He is bigger than all of this, and each report we get we will praise Him for the out come, all glory belongs to Him.

Thank you for your prayers, please continue to pray for me and for my family as we are on this journey to healing.

You May Not Finish this Blog post.....part 2

2008-09-08T11:02:00.000-07:00

That next day, Sunday morning, was a good day. My house doctor, came in to check on me, and said that I was looking good. He said that he needed to confirm with the neurologist, but as he looked at the new CT, there was no abscess in the brain. And that it was not a fungal infection, but rather a staph infection and all should be treatable with antibiotics.

I can’t tell you how excited I was and relieved I was to hear those words. Realizing that if I had waited any longer I could have slipped into coma, and things progressed even worse from there, the thought was so overwhelming.

Monday morning, the doctor’s came in and began the process to discharge me, and that night I found myself in my own bed, resting with a new look on life, with a new since of urgency, and a new since of what is really important.

Never before have I had anything crazy like this happen, Violet through out this entire ordeal was such a stronghold for me, being so positive, and reminding me that God has so much more for me to do.

Through this entire situation as I reflect on it, I never questioned my faith, I never became angry with God, but I found myself scared. I always thought that when that time came, I’d have a peace that surpasses everything, but truth is, I was scared. And then I thought of my family, and how I hadn’t prepared to leave them in a good position if I where to pass. I always said I have time to this or to do that, but truth is, I don’t, and you don’t. We are never promised time, we are never promised that will live to grow old with our spouse, or to see our children grow up and experience life, get married and have their own children. We are not guaranteed anything, except that will someday all pass away.

A few days before this entire situation raised it’s crazy head, I was reading, “Crazy Love”, by Francis Chan. And the chapter that I was reading was called, “you may not finish this chapter”, a relatively strange title of a chapter I thought, but as I read it, I was challenged, but still not ready for what would be ahead of me.

In the chapter Francis quotes Fredrick Buechner saying, “Intellectually we all know we are going to die, but we really do not know it in the sense that the knowledge becomes a part of us. We do not really know it in the sense of living as through it were true. On the contrary, we tend to live as through our lives will go on forever.”

That is exactly how I now feel. I can truly say that after this experience, I have been forced to examine my life in a way I have never had to before. A real reality check. I do know that some day I will die, when that is I do not know. But this I do know, the Lord has brought me through this situation, and continues to as I am currently still recovering, but the knowledge that I will someday die is now more real than ever, and that had forced me to live as if it were true, which in turn has moved me to a place in my faith that I have never been before, and I’m so excited to see where God takes us on our journey with Him. Things that He asked us to do before now don’t seem so scary.

I do know this, I want to live my life adoring my wife, loving my children, and knowing that whatever God has asked me to do, I did, and fear didn’t keep me from obeying Him. That to me is a life of no regrets, that’s having a sense of urgency, and that’s living knowing my time is short no matter where I’m at on my journey with Christ.

Please continue to pray for my healing. I have an IV in my arm every 8 hours on the hour, and have doctor appointments weekly, I have a road ahead of me, but the Lord has brought me this far, and I can’t thank you enough for all your prayers and support. They have been so encouraging to myself and my family.

You May Not Finish this Blog post.....part 1

2008-09-08T10:57:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks of my life have been needless to say, a little crazy. Exactly 2 weeks ago today I had been having headaches for about a week and they continued to grow stronger, to the point I was vomiting and hardly able to walk. After leaving work to try and rest, and recuperate, I found myself in the ER at Banner Estrella Hospital. And before I knew it I was having a CAT scan and MRI done of my head. After being put in a room, a doctor came in and spoke to Violet and I, telling us that they found an abscess on my brain and they needed to transfer me to Banner Good Samaritan Hospital where they have Neurological Doctors on hand. Next thing I know Vi and I are in an ambulance headed to the other hospital and immediately put into ICU. It was there in ICU that my life would be changed forever. The doctor on call was waiting to address the situation, and to speak with Violet and I. “Mr. Conner, you need to know that there in an abscess in your brain, and it appears to be a fungal infection which is very serious.” “How serious are we talking?” “This is life threatening Mr. Conner, very serious.” “Well what are my odds, how serious?” “We are not going to talk about those right now, because they are not good.”

Now I’m not sure if you have ever had those words thrown your way, but this was all new to me. I was in shock. I was scared. That night I could hardly sleep, I’d wake up and hear my wife crying as she sat in the chair next to my bed and prayed all night long, and all I could think about was my amazing wife of 7 ½ years of being married, and how I always saw us living to be an old couple together, and also about our 8 weeks old daughter, I imagined how many first’s I’d potentially be missing, first steps, first words, day of school, even down to walking her down the isles someday. Now it may sound like I’d given up, but I hadn’t, I was just reflecting on what was thrown my way by the doctors. Pretty heavy stuff to run your mind over in such a short amount of time.

The next day my neurologist came in and told me that he was planning on talking to me about what kind of procedure we would be doing for my brain surgery, but instead after seeing my sinuses where so impacted he wanted to bring in a Ear Nose and Throat Doctor, and also an Infectious Disease Doctor, and see if we can fix the situation before making it worse. The next day I found myself going into surgery. For over 2 hours they cleaned out my sinuses and did confirm that the infection had eroded my bone and gone into my brain. However, they where optimistic that the abscess may drain and with the help of all the antibiotics would be gone. The next day in ICU is a complete blur, I don’t remember much, but that evening the doctor’s moved me out of ICU and into a normal room! One step closer to going home! This to me was a good sign, I can’t be as bad, I must be getting better right?!!

Books on my list...

2008-07-17T10:57:00.000-07:00

Reading is something that I've had to learn to love. I have to admit that reading to me at times is my "thorn in my side" as Paul would say. I say that because it does not come naturally to me, in fact it is very hard at times, but I love it when I do pick up a good read because I am usually so incredibly challenged that if pushes me to want to read more. Right now I'm reading probably the most personally challenging book that I've ever read, apart from God's Word. The book was recommended to me by a good friend who was mentored by Rob Bell. That alone intrigued me, but was even more my buddy talked about how much this book impacted him and his walk with Christ, so as soon as our meeting was over, I went back to my office and ordered it. The book is called, "the emotionally healthy church", by Pete Scazzero. And I can't recommend it to you more highly. Pick it up and watch your socks get rocked!

Books I'm reading and ones that are on deck...
1. "The Emotionally Healthy Church" by Pete Scazzero
2. "Crazy Love', by Francis Chan
3. "Vintage Jesus", by Mark Discoll
4. "Talent is Never Enough" by John Maxwell

More Pictures of Riley!

2008-07-16T14:54:00.001-07:00

She's here!

2008-07-16T14:18:00.000-07:00

It has been a few weeks since my last post, but good reason...I now have a beautiful baby daughter in my life. I can't explain how amazing it is to be a parent! Riley was born July 1, 2008 at 9:52pm at Scottsdale Shea Hospital, weighing in at 5 lbs 8oz, and 19 inches long. She was given the nickname, "peanut" by all the nurses because of how small she was, and is. But to Vi and I she is the most beautiful, precious, sweet, and amazing little girl in the world. God has blessed us with the opportunity to have her in our lives, and we couldn't be happier!

Violet and I want to thank so many people that prayed for both Violet and Riley during the delivery process, and for all the support, encouragement, gifts, and meals that so many have given. Thank you just doesn't seem like enough, but thank you.

There are several things that I've learned as a new Dad the top 5 right now are....

5. Laughing has kept Violet and I sane for the last 2 weeks while being sleep deprived

4. Poop can be projectile(didn't know that!)

3. Riley gets her beautiful looks from her Mom(I'm thankful for that!)

2. I can't give Riley enough love, or kisses!

1. God is so amazing! The entire birthing process was the most amazing experiences for Violet to have together, and also in our walk with Christ.

Here are some more pictures for now. Enjoy!

My world is about to be ROCKED!

2008-06-27T20:08:00.001-07:00

On Monday of this last week, Violet and I had a routine baby doctor's appointment. Violet is now in her 36th week of being pregnant, and so we are thinking about 4 more weeks of preparation will be great, we can enjoy our time together and get a few things done around the house. Well, after that doctor's appointment, we found out that she will not be coming in 4 weeks. Instead she will be coming on Tuesday, July 1, 2008.
As we left the doctor's office, we where both in shock. Not really knowing what to say or how to feel, but left with a ton of questions that will probably get no answers, and in some ways I'm fine with that. I have to say that we are so excited about her coming! I can't explain how happy our hearts are. But at the same time, jumping from 4 weeks out to 4 days out, was something that I know we where not really prepared for, but we keep telling each other that the Lord wants her here early so that He can start to use her even sooner!
Please keep Violet in your prayers as we move closer to Tuesday, and please pray for Riley as well in the days ahead.
Can't wait to show off pictures of my daughter, and our new family!

Still a fan...

2008-06-09T13:54:00.000-07:00

Everyone who knows me, knows that I'm a die hard Suns fan. When the season is here, I go a little crazy...okay, I'll be honest, I turn into a Suns Freak. It can be so easy to get caught up in the excitement of the game, and the craziness of the season, and then the playoffs! Wow man! I get excited just thinking about it! A several months back I began to do some real self evaluating. Now please hear me out...there is nothing wrong with being a sports fan. However, for me, I became more excited about following the Suns, (and I have followed them since I was in 3rd grade), than I was excited about spending time with God. That was hard to come to grips with, and even harder to do something about it.
I realized several months back that I wanted to do something about this...and just so everyone knows, this was BEFORE the Suns lost in the playoffs, so let's get that off the table now. This wasn't about the Suns, but what God was doing in my heart. I have a room in our house that Violet so graciously let me decorate, actually decorate is an understatement. This room became a god to me. I know it sounds really exagerated, but it's not. I spent so much money decorating this room with Suns autographs, retro pictures, jerseys, posters, even had a fathead(basically a big sticker) of the suns gorilla on the wall, even painted the room a awesome burnt orange color, purchased some awesome manly furniture for the room, and it looked just about completed...until something else came along that I needed for it. It became my god. It was taking my time, my treasure, and talent as well.
My Time-I spent time constantly trying to make it better...and better...and better.
My Treasure-I was spending so much money on a room that wasn't leading anyone closer to Christ, and it's not my treasure any ways, it's all the Lords, and I had become a poor steward.
My Talents- my creativity was high in developing that room. All for what....

So what am I getting at? That room was about ME, and only ME.
A few months back I told Violet that I wanted to change that room. I wanted to get rid of everything, and make it into a room for her and I to retreat to, spend time together, and challenge each other as we read God's word together. So that's what we are doing. There won't be any TVs in that room, no pictures of my favorite basketball team hanging on the wall, just pictures of my beautiful wife, and our awesome family, 2 couches that will be a place that we can spend time together talking, and praying together, and yes I am painting the room.

I found something interesting as I have been going through this process, I can talk basketball, enjoy going to a game, and even watch it, but I want to live a life that is pleasing to Christ, one that loves his wife unconditionally, one that is more passionate about his relationship with Christ, than he is about his favorite sports team.

The title of this post was "Still a fan" and I believe I am, that will not change. However, what will change is my passion.

Haiti Day 4....

2008-05-19T14:59:00.000-07:00

That's a joke for all of you who know that I have not been the most faithful in keeping up with writing my blog! Thanks for pushing me to write another post, I'll try not to make it another 3 months before the next one!

Update on the Conner family:

1. My wife looks so beautiful being 7 1/2 months pregnant!

2. We are so excited about the arrival of our little girl, Riley Sophia Conner!

3. Only 62 more days till Riley is here!

4. My heart is still aching from my Suns early exit in the first round against the evil "San Antonio Sterns"

5. My heart began to then break when our coach Mike D'Antoni left to coach NY, I think Coach D'Antoni rocked it! He is a great Coach! Not sure who we can get to take his spot. I really don't like the potential candidates, but do love the idea of having Dan Majerle, and Eddie Johnson for an assistant coaches! My first suggestion would be to bring back Cotton! But that's impossible, so how about good old Paul Westphal! I'm for that!

6. I'm a life long Suns fan, will always support them, but seriously...I miss Jerry Colangelo.

7. I love my job. I love being apart of the awesome Staff of Palm Valley Church! I have never seen a staff that is so committed to growing closer to the Lord, growing the people of the church closer to the Lord, and growing in their leadership. I can't explain how awesome it is to love to come to the office each morning knowing that each person around you is committed to greatness.

8. Awesome to see our friends Derrick and Kim with their new son, Jude! What a cute kid! And he does have a head of hair like Dad!

9. Has been awesome to see the Lord challenge and grow my good friend and mentor Mark Gumm. The last 6 months for him and his family have been such a challenge to Violet and I in our faith, they have had a huge effect on us in a way that they will never know.

10. I'm excited to hear more about Mark's trip to Africa!

11. God has been growing me and stretching me, and sometimes those growing pains don't feel good, but they are necessary for my development.

12. I love doing my daily Bible reading with Violet and then talking about what God has been teaching us daily, awesome!

13. Currently reading, "the seven rules of success" by Wayne Cordeiro. Back in January, as a staff, we went to a conference at Waynes church. I was so challenged and encouraged by his leadership. Another awesome read by Wayne is "the Devine Mentor", if you haven't read it, pick it up ASAP! It will rock your world!

14. So happy for my buddy Micheal and his wife Heidi! They have a new son coming to their family this week!

15. Read a blog by Craig Groeschel, a pastor that has influenced me from afar. He wrote about people that had influenced his life, both from afar, but also from up close. I started to make my list. I'll write another post on this later.

Trip To Haiti Day 3

2008-03-02T18:05:00.000-08:00

Woke up this morning at 5:00am, after finally falling asleep at about 2:45am! Nothing like a little nap to get you through the day. Mark and I headed down to meet Joaquin for breakfast, we had some great Haitian coffee, and some scrambled eggs. Then we headed out on our journey to Value, which is only about 50 miles away however because of the traffic, bad roads and I mean bad roads, and the very steep mountain where Value is located, it takes about 2.5 hours to drive there.

After another nap, a quick stop to water the vegitation, we wher back on the road and actually made a quick stop at the church that helped launch Value Baptist Church. We stopped in too see how they are and was a nice quick visit.

As we headed up the mountain to Value, I was reminded about the how much these people want to be at church, they have such a hunger for the Lord and for His word that they will literally travel for miles on FOOT, just to be there. Today there was a young couple that came from an area near Port Au Prince, they walked over 40 miles! Now that is huger!

As we climbed the mountain, we could see the church on the mountain side, and immediatly to my mind came "like a city on a hill that cannot be hidden" we are to shine our light for all to see! As we pulled up to the church, my heart was filled with joy, and as we headed into the church , I was in awe of what the Lord was doing. There in one room there was 3 sunday school classes going, adults, youth, and children. There was about 80 adults and youth, and 50 children! My heart was so over whelmed. As the service started(service was over 3 hours long) we sang songs, and more songs, and more songs.

I can't tell you enough how my heart was challenged. I can't express you enough how my life will never be the same. I can't thank you enough for the countless lives that will be forever impacted in Value, Haiti because YOU Palm Valley Church, chose to answer the call that the Lord had laid before you. So thank you!

Trip To Haiti Day 2

2008-03-01T18:59:00.000-08:00

I can't express how excited I am to be here in Haiti with my good friend Mark Gumm to visit Value Baptist Church, and to see it's finished building that our church (Palm Valley Church) was able to partner with to build.

Yesterday was a very long day as Mark and I left Phoenix at 12:00am headed to NY, then headed to Haiti and arrived at 1:30pm. We where met by Joaquin Vargas(a very good friend, who is also our contact for Haiti) and also by Guillo Herado(also a friend, and Pastor in Haiti), and headed to straight to the ministry center that Guillo oversees. It is at this center that they have started a school for those who are desiring to be in full time vocational ministry. This is their first year being open and they have 15 students. We had a chance to meet with a few of them and to encourage them. I loved watching these guys just hang on every word that was being said, they are so hungry to learn!
After that we headed to our hotel, and had dinner, then we called it a night at 7:00pm Haiti time, which was 5:00pm Phoenix time, and I didn't wake up until 7:00am. 12 hours of sleep was AWESOME! I really did not realize how tired I was until I found myself literaly falling asleep during a conversation at dinner, and I knew I had to get some good sleep and I did!
This morning after about 12 cups of Hatian coffee(very good by the way!) we headed out to see Haiti and to make a few visits at a few churches and to see the different parts of Haiti. I was so encouraged to see how it has changed even in the 5 months it has been since I was here last. It was a fun day except when we met with a couple who have been missionaries in Haiti for several years and are stuck in a different mind set, I was so frustrated that I left before the conversation was over. Not even going to start on that one!
We headed to dinner and at dinner I saw a friend that I made last time I was here, his name is Franklin. He's a cool guy, 29 years old, and graduating in May, and speaks very good english. Right now Franklin is a Childrens Pastor, and works with 8 different churches, that impact over 800 children a week! This guy loves the Lord and has a passion and vision to win children to Christ! I love it!! I was so challenged to also hear of dreams and needs of the mission in Haiti and I'm excited to see what God is going as we continue to partner with Him here in Haiti!
Tomorrow we head to Value to see the church building, and I found out last night....I'll be teaching as well. Pray for me.

There's going to be a new lady in my life....

2008-02-25T09:48:00.000-08:00

Friday Violet and I went to our doctor apt, to find out what our little bun in the oven is going to be, and I have to be honest, both Violet and I wanted to have a little girl, but if we a little boy was on his way, we would be just as excited! We waited patiently to hear the doctor say those words, and finally she spoke up..."you are having.....a....little....GIRL! Violet and looked at each other and we both had tears in our eyes. I laughed thinking, if I'm crying now, I'm going to be balling when our little Riley Sophia is finally in my arms.

Volunteers Rock My World!

2008-02-25T09:11:00.000-08:00

Last night we had our Volunteer Appreciation dinner to show our volunteers just how awesome they are and how much they mean to us here at Palm Valley Church. Over 500 volunteers showed up and that doesn't include children! We provided a nice dinner for everyone and then for the entertainment, our staff put together some hilarious acts that brought many to tears laughing so hard!

As I looked around the room, my eyes where filled with tears, and my heart was overjoyed by these people that give so much of their time to serve here at PVC. But as I thought about it, I kept coming back to the thought that these people have caught it, they understand what it means to give of their time, talents, and their treasure. To all our volunteers, THANK YOU for all you do!

The New Guy In Town!

2008-02-25T08:52:00.000-08:00

It has been a few weeks now, and to say that I was unhappy about the Suns trade would be a lie. I was happy about it. I can't thank Shawn Marion enough for his commitment to this Suns organization and to the fans, but it was pretty obvious that Shawn was more likely to move on and opt out of his contract at then end of this season anyways, so to actually get something for him was a bonus in my mind. I really am happy for Marcus Banks too cause he can actually play some minutes for a team that desperately needs a point guard and I really think he will fit in great with Riley's system in Miami.

Now for Shaq, well the jury is still out on if this was a great deal or not, but I really think it's going to help us in the end. I'm not sure if it's the DIE HARD suns fan that I am or not(most likely is) but I still think that we are better than Dallas, San Antonio, New Orleans, and people are calling me crazy, but I still think we will beat L.A. And that mostly stems from hating....actually hate is a strong work, so how about "LOTHE ENTIRELY", the L.A. Lakers. Not sure if there is a team, actually I am sure of it, there is no other team that I dislike more.

But I will stand by my words that it the Suns meet L.A. in the playoffs, we will have their number the same way we have the last couple of years.

Bottom line, I'm excited to see the Suns in the Finals against Boston, and we will have a rematch of the first time the Suns went to the Finals, but this time, it will be ours!

the uncalling of God- obedience Part 2 of 2

2007-11-24T00:44:00.000-08:00

I've recently really been wrestling with a few thoughts about pastors and what causes them to leave ministry. This all came about a few months ago when I heard again of another buddy of mine that I went to college with (Southwestern Bible College) and that he left full time vocational ministry, he told me that he was done, and that he wasn't going to do it ever again. And that was hard to hear, especially because I felt the same way before, however I was very fortunate to have someone who I really respect (now my Pastor) walk with me though that time and encourage me. My heart aches for my buddy, and it made me think of how many more have has some kind of bad experience as well. So I started contacting several of my old buddy's and was a little surprised to find out that 12 out of 20 of them are not currently in a full time vocational ministry an longer. Now please hear me when I say that I don't have a problem with someone leaving full time vocational ministry and making a career doing something else. What I am saying is I want to know what happened to this person along the way that caused them to go from believing that God had called them to full time ministry, then to walk away from that all together, I have a hard time with this. Is it that they where not called to begin with, or a lack of obedience, or did God uncall some of them? I really don't know, but I'm excited to find out some more info. I'm getting a group of the guys together that I graduated with and we are going to have a round table discussion about this very topic of why they pulled out of ministry. I'm convinced that something has to be done, because great leadership does not squash leadership potential, it develops it.

As I process all of this I came back to my thoughts on Obedience....and my question is this, and please let me know your thoughts I'd love to hear them....

If someone feels "Called" to full time ministry, can they be "Uncalled" or is it just a lack of obedience?

Obedience Part 1 of 2

2007-11-23T22:20:00.001-08:00

I was recently talking with someone who had to make a very difficult decision. They sought advice from those they respect, they prayed about the situation, they had those that care about them pray about the situation and then something happened....God provided an option for this person to take. Now things at this point can go in 2 different directions. This person can either choose to acknowledge the opportunity and so then act on it, or choose not to acknowledge it and keep moving on and keep praying about it. I believe when we pray for things the Lord answers those prayers by providing options of how we can deepen our faith in Him. If we recognize these moments and seize them, I believe we are acting on FAITH, and when we act in faith we are walking in OBEDIENCE to how Christ wants us to live.

There's a BABY on the way!!!

2007-11-23T22:12:00.000-08:00

Words can not express how excited I am to let everyone know that Violet and I recently found out that we are expecting our first child! I'm so stinkin-excited! I will be giving updates on how Violet and the baby are doing periodically, but for now that's all we know! But that in itself is amazing!

THE GOD'S AREN'T ANGRY....

2007-11-14T21:52:00.000-08:00

Tonight I went to see Rob Bell, he was in town on his speaking tour and as expected, I walked away saying "wow". One thing that I love about listening to Rob is that he will talk about a story in the Bible, but he will tell that story from a different perspective, and it doesn't change the message of the story, just causes you to think about from a different angle.

Tonight I walked away with several different things I just wanted to list the few that hit me the hardest:
1. through out time, man kind has always had gods that they choose to worship, we can never give enough to these gods, and we can never appease these gods. But still we try. I was reminded tonight that there are still gods today, the names have just changed. They are now called "Job", and "acceptance", "money", and more. With any of these gods and more of them too, we can never give enough/sacrifice enough or get enough, it will still leave us trying for more.
However, Christ changed that, he is the one that actually made the sacrifice for us, so instead of me having to do something to earn my way to him, he already made it possible to go to him...HE made it possible! I love hearing that....HE made it possible. I don't have to do a thing...but TRUST.
2. REPENTANCE is not something that you have to do to be changed, REPENTANCE is the celebration of what Christ has already done, if we have excepted and trusted it.

Over all I was really challenged to remember daily that my GOD is a loving GOD and I want to celebrate HIM each and every day, by how I live my life.

Let's clear this thing up....

2007-10-23T16:45:00.000-07:00

So I've had a few people ask me about the whole "Postmodern Pastor" thing. And to tell you the truth I was a little surprised. But the "postmodern" terminology is many times put into a bad light. I'm really tired of reading things about "Postmodern" pastors that only teach fluff, or that they are the "new Christian liberal" whatever the heck that means, or that the postmodern movement is only about being culturally relevant. I will say this...should I worry about being culturally relevant? Well in order for me to be effective in reaching PEOPLE who do not know JESUS CHRIST, then yes, I need to be culturally relevant. And being relevant doesn't mean that I change the powerful life changing message of Jesus who said, "I am the WAY the TRUTH, and the LIFE, nobody can come to the Father except through Me."
What some miss out on about the postmodern movement or generation is that this is a generation that is really relationship driven. They crave and are driven by relationships, and as someone who is in that generation I have really found that when I share the life changing message of Jesus, and how He changed me personally, I found that almost every time I share my story that God uses it to draw people to Himself. I don't have any off the hook story about how I was a drug addict or anything like that. Simply Jesus changed me and I'll never be the same again. That's personal, and when we make things personal they will make an impact. That's what Jesus did, why shouldn't we do the same.
So bash on the "postmodern", but realize this, you are surrounded by them and instead of giving up on how to share Christ with them, maybe try a different tactic next time....try LIVING IT OUT, and make it personal, not preachy.

how is that fair?

2007-10-17T12:42:00.000-07:00

I just received a phone call a little bit ago from a parent in our church that could hardly talk, what she did say was that a young girl in our church that had been fighting with cancer passed away..... How is that fair? I mean really, how is it that a young girl with her entire life ahead of her had to struggle with such a nasty deadly disease like cancer? And why is it that I can't seem to process that kind of stuff in my head? As the Pastor of Compassion at our church part of my responsibilities are to care for people's needs locally, regionally, and globally. Right now my heart aches for this family. Then Mom is a strong single parent. And again when I think of things like this my mind can't grasp it, a child is gone, and now a single parent is left to care for the rest of the children and also for herself, how is that fair?
Last month our Pastor, Greg, did a series on "Uncertainty", and one of the messages was titled, "Why does God allow Suffering", and even now I have to go back to what God says, and I have to focus on TRUTH, and know that God is GREAT and He does care. Psalm 56:8 is a great comfort and reminder to me, "you keep track of all my sorrows, you have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recored each one in your book." This was a Jewish custom that would happen at funerals. They would pass a bottle around and each person would put their tears in a bottle, then they would take it to the wife, family, or children of whoever it was that suffered the loss and, it was to be a reminder that they were hurting with them. That's an awesome picture of what a church is to be. Romans 12:15 says that we are to "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and mourn with those who mourn." In the midst of grieving the loss for a loved one, or in this case the loss of a child in our church, I have to come back to Truth, and that truth is that Christ loves each of us so intimately, the Bible talks about how Jesus even wept after hearing his good friend died. Jesus wept, I find comfort in knowing the God of this universe loves us so much that he wept over one of his children who passed. In Matthew it says, "what is the price of two sparrows, yet when one falls from the sky, I know. And I care so much more for you." I'm so thankful that I serve a God who is close and personal, and not distant or far away.