I had several false starts and been thinking about doing this for years. Why? Well, this topic of encouraging people with STDs (HIV, Herpes, anything really) to go live fulfilling lives and find a mate on the way is well … still taboo in much of the world.  My experience in this area ironically comes from my own and observing a very important woman in my life – my mother.  My mother was married very young and her husband infected her.  This story is not unique – it happens all the time. What doesn’t happen is people coming out to share kind words and encourage others to:

• Date
• Enjoy sex again
• Have open and frank discussions  about sexual health with potential partners regardless of status

I find the stories of  “Here is my story of how I got infected” to be extremely boring and stuck in the 1990′s. It’s time to move beyond that.

The benefits of having a young mother is that you can related to each other. When I was 18 she was in her early late 30′s  and in great shape – so naturally she decided to get back into the dating scene.  We watched each other as we made mistakes. Watching her heart-break after telling someone her status was the worst.  I had the front seat of watching an HIV+ woman live life, try to find love, and all that is in between.

So I realize that I’m falling down a well of taboo subjects. Encouraging people who have STDs to date (who will inevitably have sex!) is taboo.  All humans have these urges and just because you’re poz doesn’t mean that these feelings will go away. They don’t.

I’m well aware that I’m going to receive hate mail. I know that the stigma of having an std hasn’t gone away. I don’t care. These things need to be said.

Photo credit: Kiwi NZ – because who doesn’t love puppies?

The great things to take away from this article are:

1. Get tested. Getting a new partner?  Get tested.  Something just not right? Get tested.  Leave a partner? Get tested.
2. Be safe. If you’re going to have sex, make it safe sex and use condoms.
3. It helps to know who you’re hooking up with. In porn, everyone knows everyone. If an outbreak happens past partners can be notified immediately (so then can get tested!).  It’s a courtesy to tell a past sexual partner of what you might have.

I’m going to add another one to this list: Even if you have tested positive for an STD – GET TESTED.

Why? The same rules of safe, enjoyable sex still apply. Just as simple as that.  There is no reason to be careless about your sexual health just because you feel “tainted.”  Also, contracting more than one ailment can get tricky. If you are actively managing your condition or symptoms this may already be in your treatment plan.  Bravo!

Unfortunately, some people missed the point completely and took the opportunity to blast the adult film stars for their choices. The majority of the comments were like this guy’s. 

From: AmanfromtheE

DannyWylde,  Littlelou knows and we all know you are making money by recording sex and selling them. Don’t try to normalize it by saying, it’s a job. It is not a job. You are not producing anything. You are producing images or video feeding off of some people’s lust or perversion whose over all effect is negative. It does not add up to anything. It is not a job. Does it consume energy? Sure, it does. Any “job” does consume energy. Killing does too. It is not a job.”

Aye.  Comments like these make me want to bang my head against the wall.   At the very least, thank you CNN for encouraging folks to prevent STDs!

Photo credit: duncan