We flew for 15 1/2 hours from O’Hare to Auckland. We were in a middle row and I was in the middle. Since Chris was on the aisle seat and more readily positioned to get up and move around, I asked if he would please check the other rows to see if there were any with only a single passenger. I had seen that the row in front of us had only 1 passenger, leaving 2 empty seats. I had pointed this out to Chris earlier and whispered “I think it’s just that one guy in that row” to which he nodded his head sagely in response.

So, imagine my perturbation when another guy popped up and snagged one of the empty 2 seats. My jaw dropped and I gestured to him and looked at Chris in disbelief. Chris had just told me he’d checked and there were no empty seats – everything was reserved. He later told me that when he’d nodded his head as described above, he actually hadn’t understood what I’d said. He’d just nodded his head in his agreement because apparently that’s what husbands do when they don’t understand their wives. Nod and look thoughtful in the hopes it will make their wife happy.

Actually, that’s not what he said. He just said he hadn’t understood me. No explanation as to why he nodded in agreement. But I’m getting lost in the weeds here. Lets get back on track.

We made it through our long flight and, suprisingly, I was able to sleep for a little while. That brief rest is probably why I was feeling so perky and chipper after we made it through customs. Chris was in a good mood, too.

We hopped into the shuttle that I’d pre-booked and we were off to our friend Priscilla’s. She had graciously offered her place as a spot to stow our luggage until our AirBnB check-in time arrived, and this would give us more time to spend with her. Friends offering floor space, a cup of something hot and caffeinated, a shower, and a ride are worth far more than their weight in gold. To pay her back, Chris put together her hammock and promptly sprawled out in it.

A short while later we went to the newest itiration of City Pres. This was the church plant that Chris and I were a part of when we lived in NZ. It’s where both Joe and Jack were baptized. Full of ups and downs, highs and lows, and plenty of in-betweens… my memories of New Zealand are forever tied to that church. More importantly, to the people in it. It was so lovely to see how the church is growing and to look out on familiar faces while meeting some new ones.

After, we had lunch in Cornwall Park with Priscilla and her lovely mum, Anne. Turns out that we arrived on a 3-day weekend in NZ. Quite a few other families had the same idea to visit the park as us, and it was very full. While it made for crazy traffic, I kind of loved it. Seeing so many New Zealanders out enjoying barbecues and sunshine. The weather was gorgeous and our lunch company was even better.

After, we drove back to Priscilla’s to get our luggage and to drop off Anne so that she could head home. Anne is such a special person, and I’m really glad that she went out of her way to spend some time with us. Priscilla graciously brought us back into the heart of the city and we said our good-byes (for the moment) and checked into our new place, whereupon we dumped our luggage again and headed out the door. There were groceries to be bought and old, familiar streets to be walked on! Although I quickly got over the walking part and was ready to just grab some food, get back to our apartment, and sleep. Which is exactly what I did. Day #1 was complete.

Chris, to his credit, looked me in the eye and said, “OK. Let’s do it.”

No “but what about paying off your student loan?” or “who would watch the kids?” or “that’s too expensive.” Just, “OK. Let’s do it.” I love him for that.

It wasn’t easy. If I ever get asked to self-rate my anxiety about things like debt, I would probably give myself a 9.5 out of 10. Or maybe 10 out of 10. Or an 11. It depends on the day. Or the hour. I knew then that to plan for this vacation meant siphoning part of our earnings away from re-paying my grad school loan and putting it toward this unnecessary (to some people) thing. Except that to me, this was necessary.

We planned and we saved. Once I finished grad school and had a full-time job again, we put a percentage of (nearly) each paycheck into a “vacation fund” account after first paying our bills, tithe, and (almost always) more than the monthly requirement for my grad school loan. The fact that I work as a NP and Chris is a professor combined with having a small house with a low-for-Williamsburg-VA mortgage, driving used cars (one of which is paid for), and keeping our expenses to a minimum certainly allowed for us to save up for our vacation a lot more quickly than if we were earning less, had higher expenses, or a combination of both of those two.

We reached out to the parents and in-laws, secured commitments from both of them to come to VA for a week to be with the boys, bought plane tickets, and started researching AirBnBs. Reservations were made, plans created, PTO requested (Chris is on sabbatical this year, so I was the only one who needed to use up any annual leave).

And then work blew up. And our oven broke. And in a fit of madness I decided to register for a certification exam and added the stress of studying into my already crazy life. I was at the hospital for 10-11 hours/day, waking up at 3 in the morning thinking about a patient or a patient’s family member, unable to fall back asleep and finally getting out of bed at 5am to shower and get ready for work. I did that so many times in the weeks and months leading up to this trip. I wouldn’t get home till after 6 o’clock. I was hardly seeing the boys. The house was a mess. And then, as I mentioned earlier, the oven broke. That happened 2 weeks before our trip, but not before I’d already started to fill up the freezer with freezer meals to make life easier for the grandparents.

The 2 weeks leading up to our NZ vacation were some of the most stressful that I’d experienced in the last 7 years. On one particular night I ended up telling Chris that it was the most anxious, the most overwhelmed that I’d felt since dealing with postpartum anxiety and depression after Jack was born. In a weird way, it brought some perspective to my life. I felt awful and yet it clearly reminded me of how I’d felt as a mom with a 2 year old and newborn. And I found myself asking, “Why on earth did I think it was normal back then for me to feel that way? Good grief – I was nuts! This is crazy.”

So, I set some limits. I told Chris that I’d reached my limit and that I needed some help around the house. I told my colleagues that I was sorry, but I needed to leave on time. I even put it on the calendar at work. How sad is that? To write in, “Jenny – leaving on time” on the community work calendar? But that’s what it took. Because without it, the expectation was that I would be staying late, like usual.

I, the one who preaches to everyone else at work about setting boundaries, had completely lost hers. Poof. Gone. Preparing for this vacation brought that home to me in a way that little else had.

I was able to leave work early on the day before we embarked on our NZ vacation and got home to dirty clothes, unpacked suitcases, a mother-in-law who had just arrived, and no husband to greet her. I broke out a bottle of wine for her, sat and visited for about 45 minutes, and then excused myself to deal with luggage and laundry. It wasn’t a pretty evening. I ended up laying in the bed for over an hour trying to decompress from some of the trauma and heartache that I’d carried home with me from the hospital. Working in my particular specialty has required a lot more strenghtening of the emotional muscles than I’d realized it would. I definitely cried and told Chris that maybe we should cancel the trip. Maybe I should just cancel my PTO – there was so much to do at work, and I felt tremendous guilt for leaving my colleagues short-staffed. Maybe I should stay home and do more things with the boys. I was dramatic, sarcastic, and willfully unreasonable in my arguments with Chris. And thankfully, he let me be. He let me vent and get it out of my system.

Then I got up, blew my nose, had a glass of water, and dealt with it. I apologized to Chris. I finished some of the packing, told myself that the rest would keep until the morning, and then sat on the sofa with a book. I went to bed and woke up early in the morning (but not 3am early like I’d been unwillingly doing for so many weeks leading up to that day), showered, and made the boys some breakfast. We said our good-byes, got to the airport, and after our first flight from Richmond to O’Hare, I finally started to relax.

Our vacation had begun.

We knew that it would take a bit of time to get into the park.  Opening day is always crazy.  Even though we live less than 5 miles from the park entrance, it still took us 2 hours to get inside.

Yeah.  Didn’t expect that.

Still, I have to (begrudgingly) admit that it was worth it in the end.

Chris and Joe were able to ride two roller coasters (Apollo’s Chariot and Tempesto) with only about a 10 minute wait in line.  I was so impressed with Joe – I’m terrified of roller coasters.  Here are Chris and Joe in their seats for Apollo’s Chariot:

Chris said that after Tempesto, he looked over and Joe’s little legs were shaking from adrenaline.  Joe said that he did not want to do that ride again.  Poor buddy!  But still proud of him for giving it a try.

While Chris and Joe did their big, scary rides, Jack and I did some more tame ones.  Like the spinning teacups in Turkish Delight and riding Tradewinds:

And after the big guys got done with their scary rides, Joe and Jack did several rides on their own.  They had fun on the balloons, Da Vinci’s airplanes, the elephant ride, and yes – they both had to do the spinning teacups again:

I’ve been sticking with a low-carb diet, which let me tell you can be tough when you’re at an amusement park.  Nevertheless, we were able to find a giant turkey drumstick for me to sample while everyone else in the family ate cotton candy and pretzels and General Tso’s chicken, lol.  And when I got tired of the drumstick, there were 2 little boys who were more than happy to experience the novely of carrying around a monster turkey leg and chewing on it.  Seriously, that thing looked like a dinosaur leg – it was huge.  I’d hate to meet the turkey it was attached to.  That thing must have been a behemoth.

Because we live so close to Busch Gardens, we’ve adopted a one on, one off strategy.  We take one year off from Busch Gardens and then renew our memberships the next year.  At first we did memberships 2 years in a row and we (Chris and I) found that we got sick of it and didn’t take advantage of it as much the 2nd year around.  Having time off makes us appreciate it that much more.

Williamsburg is a great place to live

Because it was a somewhat odd day with different hours, we decided to skip Sunday School and just head to church for the sermon and children’s church.  Joe gave us an earful on the way in, commenting on how he was very disappointed that we weren’t going to be there for Sunday School.  I think he was mainly upset because he’d miss out on the snacks!

Later, the misty-rainy skies cleared and we were able to spend some time outside.  The boys had a great time riding their bikes and later playing with some of the neighborhood kids in an impromptu water balloon/water gun battle.

I love these boys

I tried accupunture for the first time, both as a recipient and as a practitioner:

I tried out our new Instant Pot and my new Instant Pot cookbook to make butter chicken:

The photo of the chicken doesn’t do it justice – it was delicious.

We had fun with Snickers (he’s so cute):

The boys and I went to see “Mary Poppins Returns” (they loved it):

Chris had some more hilarious moments that will live on in re-told stories for the rest of our lives:

Yes, those are his pants and yes, that is a giant hole in the seat.  He went to the office and bent down to pick something up, heard a ripping noise, and looked down.  He didn’t see any tears but apparently also didn’t think to check the back of his pants… only the front.  It wasn’t until much later in the day that he realized what had happened.  Needless to say he was quite thankful that he hadn’t had to teach any classes that day.  That would have been difficult to live down!

A few other things that happened but weren’t captured in photos:

• Several big trees were removed from our yard.  We’re still waiting for the tree company to come back and finish with the stumps.
• I took a day off to stay home with the boys for a school holiday.  Very normal, everyday stuff – haircuts and errands – but it made me appreciate having a job with such flexibility and a healthy annual leave balance.
• I completed my 3 month mark for work.  Officially 1/4 of the way through a whole year of being employed as an NP.

I hope you had a good January as well, and that your February is shaping up nicely, too!

Naturally, the boys have had a blast playing on the branches and have been building a fort with their friends.  Much of the excess limbs have been trimmed back, but I’m still waiting on Chris to finish chopping up a large part of it and turn it into firewood!

Despite the downed tree, we never lost power and were able to “enjoy” the after-effects of the storm in relative comfort.  Later that day (Saturday), we took my parents on the ferry to visit the Surry Seafood Company.  The boys were so happy to have their grandparents here for a visit.

In other news, I’m still waiting on all of my licenses to be processed so that I can start work.  It’s been a lesson in patience, having to wait on other agencies to complete their reviews and grant me the necessary authority to practice as an NP.  While I’m waiting, I’ve been trying to be thankful for the downtime and take advantage of it.  I’ve sorted through the boys’ clothes and given a lot of them away to neighbors and to charity.

I’ve also been focusing on my health and working on losing weight, which I’m happy to report has been pretty successful.  I’m down a total of 37 pounds in the last 2 months.  This is the first diet that I’ve ever been on where it hasn’t felt like a diet…. or at least it mostly doesn’t feel like a diet.  I’ve been using the Lose It! app to track everything that I eat and to give me information on my total carb, fat, and protein intake.  My diet has essentially revolved around 2 things: (1) stay within my recommended calorie count for weight loss, and (2) cut way back on carbs.  I try to keep my total carb intake to around 20-25 grams per day, although this last week I’ve experimented with increasing that amount up to 50 grams per day.  That’s total carbs, not net carbs.  I’ve been making a lot of different foods, have been using a spiralizer for zucchini noodles, and have paid attention to the role that fat intake has in terms of satiety.  I’d like to lose another 35 pounds, so I’m still plugging away.  I’ll let you know how it’s going.

I took the boys to College Run Farms this past weekend.  We’ve gone there nearly every Autum since moving to Virginia, and I always look forward to it.  The fact that we have to take the ferry to get there makes it feel like a real destination.  Because Chris’ schedule over the last few weekends has been so busy, we did try to sneak in a trip to a different pumpkin patch.  Jack was OK with it, but Joe wasn’t impressed.  Right away he asked “Where’s the ice cream?” and “Why aren’t we taking the ferry?”.  In the end, he decided he’d rather take his chances and not get a pumpkin from the substitute patch in the hopes that we were still able to sneak in a trip to College Run.  Jack, however, was perfectly fine with picking out a pumpkin.

As it turned out, we were able to make it to College Run.  Chris had another conference this past weekend, this time in North Carolina, which meant that the boys and I had plenty of free time to fill.  We headed over on Sunday afternoon, just barely making it onto the ferry before they closed the gate.  The ferry ride definitely adds to the appeal – driving onto a boat, being able to watch the gulls and getting sprayed with the river water – and the boys were excited before the farm was even in view.  However, once the farm was in view, it was time for pumpkin ice cream!

Alas, I didn’t get any photos of the boys picking out some pumpkins.  That’s what happens when you have 2 wild children and you’re attempting to hold clippers, the map, and carry a pumpkin or two back to the car.  We managed to get one Aladdin variety and another called “One Too Many”.  I later learned that the “One Too Many” moniker is due to the pumpkin having reddish stripes, which resemble a bloodshot eye after having had one too many to drink.  Yikes!  I probably won’t tell Joe that this is the story behind his pumpkin’s name

After the pumpkins were paid for, we headed back across the river and toward home.

The pumpkins have now joined various other squash and gourds that are making up our Fall yard display, and it won’t be long before they’re decorated and ready for Halloween.  This year, Chris has requested that we not carve pumpkins.  In his words, “There are some father-son traditions that I can do without.”  Turns out he doesn’t particularly care for having his hands covered in pumpkin goop or dealing with the massive amount of fruit flies that are attracted to our Jack O’Lanterns.  After a few minutes’ searching, I found some pumpkin decorating kits at Target that don’t require a knife.  Jack selected the Werewolf kit and Joe chose the Black Cat.  I’m looking forward to decorating their pumpkins and trying out something new (and less messy)!

This was my 3rd trip to D.C. for school and I feel like I’m getting the hang of the area.  I made a special point of walking to the National Christmas Tree and got a few photos of the tree as well as the Washington Monument.

The smaller trees each symbolize one of the 50 United States.

And there’s the Washington Monument!  Barring any catastrophes, I’ll be graduating in 5 months with this as my backdrop while my fellow students and I sit on the National Mall.

It was a busy time and I’m thankful Chris was able to hold down the fort while I was away from Sunday – Friday.  Another big moment that happened?  I submitted my application to test for the AANP exam.  This is the first step in becoming professionally certified as a nurse practitioner.  I’m tentatively planning to sit for the exam before graduation (you can do this if certain criteria are met).  If I test before graduation and pass, I still won’t be certified until after the AANP receives my final transcripts and proof of degree conferral.  However, it would be a weight off my shoulders to walk at graduation with the knowledge that I’ve already passed my national exam.  We’ll see!

I’ll be spending the next several days studying for my final.  This week, I’m looking forward to being done with the semester, having time to clean the house, bake some Christmas cookies, wrap presents, and just sit on the couch and read books for fun.  Happy Monday!

What are you looking forward to this coming week?

Chris and I both grew up hearing about the Advent season in some way, shape, or form.  Advent calendars with punch-out windows and chocolate treats were sometimes brought out, other times it was just a discussion.  Every year for me, it meant seeing the Advent candles lit at church Sunday mornings  leading up to Christmas.

While Advent was always a part of the Christmas season, I know that I never appreciated it when I was a kid.  I didn’t fully understand what it stood for other than that it meant Christmas, with all of its presents and celebration, was getting closer.  And yes, I knew that Christmas meant the birth of Jesus and this was important, but a deep, soul-seated meaning and understanding of what that implied for my life?  Nope – I definitely didn’t grasp that.

Looking back on my own childhood memories of Advent makes me wonder how I can communicate its meaning to my own children. I’ve done a daily reading for Advent with the boys each year – some years have been better than others.  Last year, I started my own daily devotional for Advent – The Dawning of Indestructible Joy: Daily Readings for Advent by John Piper.

I enjoyed these readings last year – so much so that I’m planning to read through it again this year.  I think that it was doing these for myself in addition to having daily readings with the boys that has most helped me understand the meaning behind and importance of Advent.  And by doing that, it’s helped me in the conversations that I have with the boys about this time of year.

Celebrating Advent with children should, I believe, be a balance of fun and discussion, over all of which a sense of excitement and anticipation should linger.  How to achieve that balance, though?  Well, shortly after moving here, we bought this Advent calendar.

I like it because we can personalize what we do each year – some days there’s a chocolate treat, some days there’s not, but every day we have a reading and prayer.  Fun and discussion.

This year, I found a blogger who’d written Advent Readings for the Very Young.  I printed them, cut out each day’s reading, and put the readings in the calendar pockets.  I also printed this list of Advent readings from The Jesus Storybook Bible.

Doing these readings at a child’s level is one way that we make Christ’s coming, His birth, His death, and His love for us a true focal point of every day in December.  The boys love listening to the readings and we love that we’re able to do this as a family.

They no longer make the Advent calendar that we own, but there are several on Amazon that are similar.  These are a few of my favorites, in case you’re looking to start a similar Advent tradition with your loved ones.

D-FantiX Fabric Christmas Tree Advent Calendar

Aytai Felt Christmas Tree Advent Calendar

What memories do you have of Advent from your childhood?  What things do you do to celebrate Advent now?

I love to have stuff in the freezer that’s ready to pull out for meals.  One of my biggest wish lists when we bought a house was to have a big ol’ freezer to fill up.  I know, it’s weird, but it brings me joy!

I pulled out the giant bag of pancake mix that we bought at Costco and set out to whip up a few flapjacks.

Yes, that’s a 10 pound bag of Krusteaz pancake mix and yes, we’ll use every bit of it.

I doctored the mix by replacing half of the water with sweetened condensed milk that was left over from making a pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving.  Cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and vanilla bean paste sounded good, too, so in they went.

They smelled AMAZING.  On a whim, I decided to pull out the cookie cutters and made several shaped pancakes: gingerbread men, hearts, dinosaurs, cars, and the letter “J” for Joe and Jack.  They turned out so cute!  I flash froze them for an hour then scooped them all into Ziploc bags to give to the boys on my next breakfast morning.

See?  Cute, right?

The following morning, I woke up just after 7am (it was my morning to sleep in), came out, and was greeted by Joe with stories of the FABULOUS breakfast that Daddy had made – pancakes in the shape of humans!  Pancakes in the shape of cars!  Pancakes in the shape of hearts!

I looked at Chris inquiringly.

“I found those pancakes you made in the freezer and gave some to the boys for breakfast.  Hope you don’t mind!”

Are. you. kidding me?

Wah!  That extra work and effort that I put in to making them, only to have Chris give them to the boys on his breakfast morning, i.e., the morning where he’s supposed to be responsible for making the food and serving it.  And instead, he took out the pancakes I’d made and gave them to the boys.

Honestly, I wasn’t upset about the fact that he poached my pancakes (although now that I’m sitting here, I suppose I am maybe a little irked – pancakes aren’t hard to make but it did mean extra clean up and planning on my part).  What I was really disappointed about was missing the boys’ reactions and that I didn’t get to share in that.  But it was pretty cute hearing them describe the gingerbread man pancakes as “human” shaped pancakes!

I told Chris that he can make it up to me by taking me out to lunch.  And by making pancakes on one of my breakfast mornings :-p