Prangster in Chicago

I live here

2010-07-22T03:34:15+08:00

This is our apartment building in Taipei. Doesn't it look like something out of Total Recall? We live on the left hand side, 9th floor. If I could do more than the "auto contrast" function in Photoshop, I'd draw a squiggly line to show you where my room is...

TV in Taiwan

2010-07-18T16:16:45+08:00

Last night my mum was watching an American Idol knockoff singing contest called "Super Idol." It was the season finale where they crowned the winner and 5 runners up. So many ridiculous things happened. The second runner up was a Korean guy and for some reason he won a women's handbag as well as a cash prize. The runner up was a girl from Shanghai who cried her eyes out before her performance because singing is her dream and it's who she is. Except she's really not that good. The winner was a Taiwanese guy who won $1 million Taiwan dollars and...a piece of women's jewelry. His mum was standing next to him and instead of giving it to his mum to wear, he asked his mum to put the women's necklace around his own damn neck! That move made my own mum say, "Ew, I don't think he's supposed to be wearing that." Oh, and the head of his winner's trophy fell off.

Why this ramen packaging?

2010-07-15T18:10:59+08:00

Just when I thought Taiwan made sense, I see this in the ramen aisle at the supermarket. And just when I thought my life in Taipei was normal, my mum offers me roasted pig ear strips to snack on. I eat it and it's pretty good.

Sweeping the nation

2010-07-10T02:21:16+08:00

Five years ago, even two years ago, Taiwan was B.O. land. People pretty much stunk in the humid, gross summertime because they didn't know about deodorant. I would put deodorant on, leave the house and hop on a bus. Sure, I would stay as dry as a dehydrated vegetable, but soon I'd feel overwhelmed by everyone else's lack of deodorant. It was so frustrating. I felt like an adult on a plane during an emergency landing who has already put my own oxygen mask on, except the kid in the seat next to me simply refuses to put the mask on. And there was nothing I could do. Nothing.

Back then, deodorant was really exotic and foreign. Like rare spice or something. (But cheap.) I would see it in the aisles at the drugstore (or chemist) and imagined those little plastic bottles shrugging at me. Communicating a feeling of utter helplessness. Like Superman when all of Gotham wanted him to die, deodorant just wanted to get rid of offensive body odor. But no one looked in its direction. People just sweated. They...swat.

This year apparently is the year of deodorant. Rexona has decided to unleash deodorant on the Taiwanese people. The marketing campaign basically says this: sweat is evil. I say that because I watched a local talk show introduce the powers of deodorant, and the host of the show demonstrated to the TV audience that deodorant can be used over the entire body to stop sweat from coming out of pores.

To emphasize how effective deodorant is, the host used a really overweight guy wearing a too-small white t-shirt with sweat stains as an example. Perfect. The host sprayed deodorant along his arms, all over his back and on his legs. When a guest on the panel asked whether it was unhealthy to block the pores, the host laughed and said, "Of course not! This is what deodorant is for!"

Indeed.

I'm not sure what would happen to someone if they sprayed themselves with deodorant every day, but I imagine Rexona sales would be doing quite well...

Things I overheard while talking to myself

2010-07-03T23:17:35+08:00

A few days ago I bought a pack of Japanese Morinaga brand chocolate cigarettes. Except when I opened the pack I discovered they're not cigarettes at all. They're just regular chocolates in a cigarette-like box. I was so bummed. I was really looking forward to *smoking* one and looking cool.

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These past few weeks I've been very busy re-watching 3 seasons of The West Wing. I swear I typed that with a straight face. Tonight I'll start on the 7th and final season where Jimmy Smits and Alan Alda are campaigning for the presidency. I have respect for Jimmy Smits but I'm more of an Alan Alda fan. He seems like a nice guy and he's got a cool voice. Plus he killed it in the live debate episode whereas Jimmy tripped over his lines a few times and made me wince. Oh, and I love that Alan named one of his autobiographies, "Things I Overheard While Talking to Myself."

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I am really in the mood to buy something online. I just wanna buy something right now. I know I should be careful though. Last year when I was in Chicago I was really in the mood to buy something so I ordered a men's leather duffel bag that turned out to be hideous. It was a case of incredible and misleading product photography. My friends and I refer to it as the "Voldemort bag" because when I first saw it I couldn't bear to look at it, hear about it or acknowledge its existence. Anyway, I sold it on Ebay to some guy in Brooklyn. He probably shook his fist real hard at me when he opened that box. That Voldemort bag is like finding Jumanji on the beach.

* If you don't know Harry Potter or Jumanji, what I wrote above makes no sense to you. I'm sorry. I'd offer you a chocolate cigarette, but you know...

Don't bore me with your emotions

2010-07-03T02:03:40+08:00

Kathy

Operation playtime

2010-07-02T22:50:11+08:00

I saw Toy Story 3 this week in 3D. If you haven't seen it, brace yourself for the best use of a tortilla ever. And I loved that Totoro made an appearance. I have the same Totoro dude in a box in Sydney. I also love Tom Hanks as the voice of Woody the cowboy. His character reminds me why I'm one of those *special* people who thinks their toys are *alive* and *have feelings*. Please stop looking at me like that.

In other news, my bear Cheeky is turning 17 this year. After he graduates high school, his career aspiration is to become an architect. I'm 100% sure he's going to make it.

One more thing. This is unrelated, but important: Why do some online stores that allow you to sort merchandise by price have the default setting go from most expensive to least expensive? Do they really think people are interested in that?

Ugly but delicious

2010-06-27T00:01:28+08:00

Kathy

Don't be annoying

2010-06-21T15:14:23+08:00

There's so much to learn in life about being a good person, coworker, friend and partner. It's possible the most important lesson is this: don't be annoying. I came across a tech company's list of core values the other day and number 5 on their list was exactly that:

5. Don't be annoying

These days, in such an always-on and demanding society, the last thing we want to be is annoyed. We get that. Which is why we strive to not be annoying to ourselves and to our clients. We don’t hold unnecessary meetings to just hear ourselves talk. We don’t interrupt people hard at work with questions that could be answered later. We don’t say ASAP. We don’t do a lot of things we think are annoying and pointless.

I'd like to work in a place where people promise to minimize how annoying they are. It's so much more practical than pledging to always be passionate or honest, don't you think?

Need this urgently

2010-06-14T19:52:03+08:00

It's the cutest baby barbecue I've ever seen! I'd like one in green, please. And I'd like a New York strip steak too. They're gonna be friends for life.