Jigsaw - Gettin’ Jiggy
Elis James - Speaking As A Mother…
Set List - Phill Jupitus, Lloyd Langford, Cariad Lloyd, Richard Herring
Mother India cafe

Josie Long & Sam Schäffer’s Awkward Romance
Top Secret Comedy Club - Stuart Goldsmith, Matthew Giffen, Pete Dobbing
The Trap - Bad Musical
Danielle Ward - Speakeasy

Will Hodgson - Care Bear Punk
Chris Ramsey - Feeling Lucky
Peacock & Gamble - Don’t Even Want To Be On Telly Anyway

Helen Arney and Rob Wells - Domestic Science
Mace & Burton - Rom Com Con
Nick Doody - Look at This Massive Picture of My Face
Chez Jules
The Boy With Tape On His Face - More Tape
Daniel Kitson - Where Once Was Wonder

The Milk Monitors - Austentatious
Michael Legge - What a Shame
Nick Mohammed - Mr. Swallow
Under the stairs
Pappys - Last. Show. Ever.
Mother India cafe (again)
Mark Watson’s Edinborolympics - Josie Long, Jarred Christmas, Jarlath Regan

Tex Mex II
Daniel Kitson - As of 1.52pm GMT on Friday April 27th 2012, This Show Has No Title
Brewdog bar
Susan Calman - This Lady’s Not for Turning Either
Under the Stairs (again)
Richard Herring - Talking Cock: The Second Coming
Felicity Ward - The Hedgehog Dilemma

Obviously these hyperbolic wonks are a small minority of iOS users, most of whom are perfectly nice people who would actually admit it if they had a friend who thought lounging in a Starbucks ostentatiously listening to Skrillex was a twatty thing to do. But there is no minority more vocal than devoted iPhone users who can feel themselves becoming just that little bit less special, terrified that they’ll wake up one day and think “it’s just a phone, for fuck’s sake, not a portal to the next plane of human evolution. Now let me switch off the ‘sent from my iPhone’ message and get back to being a normal member of society.”

Anyway, Instagram. I can see the appeal. Camera phones will never match a dedicated camera for taking good photos (shut UP apple wonks, it’s the truth) so it sort of makes sense to use it to take deliberately bad (or at least technically less good) ones. And anything that encourages you to take more photos in more places is a good thing, right? – all the normal rules of photography still apply and the more practice you get, the better your results will be with whatever camera you’re using. Yes you could just snap away with your cameraphone and upload to Twitter or Google+, but Instagram’s whole infrastructure is much better at streamlining the process and rewarding with feedback and encouragement. Much like a project365, it gives you a framework to operate in rather than just random snapping.

The problem is that in most cases this isn’t how it’s used. Instead it seems to be a tool for taking all the thought and care out of taking a picture; with its instant, one click ‘apply articsticness’ filters replacing any actual effort. The attitude of just snapping anything then making it ‘good’ with a filter had led to a homogeneous sludge of images all trying so hard to be different that they look the same, a sea of twee throwaways so uniformly quirky that the quirk becomes the norm.

You can take a great photo with a phone camera. Unfortunately as far as I can see what Instagram does is make people try make a great photo out of a bad one.

So – tried, unimpressed, uninstalled. For deliberately shonky photos I’ll just stick to my plastic film cameras – no filters, no instant upload, no guarantee at all of a usable picture. Much more fun.