Little Bits

Anna Hazel: Six Months!

2012-02-01T18:35:00.002-05:00

Oh, dear. Half a year gone just like that.

Anna Hazel, you're moving even more now! You really, really want to crawl, but you haven't quite figured it out yet. So, you inchworm. You also leapfrog. Yes, you really hop your back feet together in unison to get to your destination. You also like experimenting with pushing up on all fours like a bear crawl. You are also semi-sitting. You can't quite sit upright completely, but you push yourself into a sitting position and lean on your arm like you're modeling. Very cute. "Hey, it's cool. I'm just chilling."

I'm going to have to move you out of the cradle now, because you have figured out how to sit up and slightly pull your shoulders to the edge of the rails. No more of that! I can't have you launching yourself out on your head.

No more teeth yet, but you've been doing plenty of damage with the two you do have. Alec (sweet brother that he is) loves to spend time with you, and recently put his fingers in your mouth. I'm guessing he won't do that again any time soon!

Your brothers still adore you, but Alec thinks you're his own special baby. In fact, he tells us so. "My baby! No, my baby!" If any of his brothers gets too close to you or wants to spend time with you, he doesn't care for it. We'll have to work on that. The other day, the big boys were building a fort in the living room. You were on the floor for a short period of time before it got too crazy with many blankets, pillows, and other fort building materials. I picked you up and took you to bed for a nap--but Alec hadn't noticed. A few minutes later, Alec completely freaked out, as he looked around the room. "Baby! Baby!!" I realized that he thought you had been buried under the many cushions and blankets, and of course, if that had been the case, it would have been a dangerous situation. He would not calm down until I took him to your bed and showed him that you were, indeed, safely sleeping in your own bed. He is a good big brother and he loves you fiercely.

Recently, during family Bible time, Daddy was asking us to raise our hands when we heard certain things that he was reading in the Scripture passage. We raised our hands over and over again--and then, all of a sudden, you were doing it, too!

You seem to think your Daddy is pretty special, and I love to hear him whisper, "I love you, Baby Girl." Methinks it might be a challenge to prevent you from being utterly and totally spoiled by your brothers and your Daddy.

I've said this before (as recently as today) and I'll say it again: "I'm so glad you came."

Excellence vs. Perfectionism

2012-01-26T22:17:00.003-05:00

Photo Credit

Hi, my name is Brianna Preston.

And I'm a perfectionist.

Being a perfectionist doesn't mean that I'm perfect. In fact, it's my perfectionistic tendencies that actually seem to keep me from overcoming weaknesses, developing my strengths, and stretching for loftier goals. The perfectionist in me says this: "If I can't do it perfectly...I won't do it at all."

There have been three words I've written at the top of my planner pages for months now: Excellence, Eternity, and Grace. I really want to be a woman who strives for excellence, and recently I've been contemplating the difference between the two.

Here are some of my thoughts:

Excellence does it's best.

Perfectionism either tries and gives up when it's not perfect, or won't try at all for fear of failing.

Excellence seeks to please God.

Perfectionism seeks to please others.

Excellence uses God's priorities.

Perfectionism may not have priorities, because it's too busy trying to make the meaningless details "perfect".

Excellence is motivated by building the kingdom of God.

Perfectionism is motivated by "what people will think".

Excellence judges itself by God's standards.

Perfectionism judges itself by its neighbor.

Excellence finds inspiration in the lives of others.

Perfectionism compares itself to others and feels defeated when it doesn't measure up.

Being a woman of excellence has nothing to do with being perfect. What a relief. Being a woman of excellence is a life dedicated to learning, stretching, growing, and continuing even after I fall. It means setting my eyes on Jesus and obeying Him--letting Him shape me into His woman, even if that looks nothing like my neighbor. It means a commitment to slow, but persistent change.

It's more about giving my all than doing it all.

Caden Is Seven!

2012-01-26T14:23:00.002-05:00

Another birthday letter means...another birthday. Just how, young fellow, is time streaming past so quickly? Today you are seven. Seven years of Caden. Seven years of mothering. Seven years of trying, learning, failing, growing, loving, laughing, and most of all, grace. I have needed His grace so deeply as a Mama, Caden. You coming into my life has given it a meaning and a depth I wouldn't have known without you.

You and I are so very alike that we seem to know how to push each others buttons. And when our buttons are pushed, you know what comes out? Yeah, sometimes it's not too nice, is it? But you know what else? Since God gave me you and God gave you me...He's helping each of us to grow! He wants to use our strengths for His purposes and He wants to help us in our weaknesses as He displays His strength in us.

I do not know exactly what God has planned for you, son, but I know this: it's big. He has filled you with so much potential. You are strong. You are caring. You are determined. You are passionate. You are creative. You are smart. Daddy and I are praying that we can help to guide you as you grow and chase the dreams and paths He has planned for you. I'm so excited to see what He has planned.

This last year we have seen your heart tendered more towards God and His ways. We know that you want to please us and please Him--and we know how hard it can be to choose obedience! Goodness, you see every day how we mess up. How we yell when we should be calm, how we disappoint when we should follow through, how we are impatient when we should be patient, how we are gruff when we should be gentle...the list goes on. But He is at work, Caden! He is at work in you, and He is at work in me and in Daddy. You are a fine boy, Caden, and God has such good plans for you. Daddy and I are so proud to have you as our son.

Some of my favorite moments with you are still our reading times. I love to curl up and read a good book with you. Speaking of reading, you're taking off! It is so exciting to me and Daddy to see this whole new world of adventure open up to you as you begin to discover more and more that you can read on your own! It will be wonderful to see you learn all sorts of new things over the coming years as you explore the world of books for yourself.

You can ride your bike well now and have actually grown out of your bike--your legs are growing longer and longer. You don't really have any baby roundness left, and you seem to be more and more arms and legs. You can create anything you can imagine, given the right materials. With Legos, cardboard, and miscellaneous junk you could probably take over the world!

In school, you're doing well. Reading is coming easier and easier. You're able to understand and visualize math concepts. You absolutely love science. You love a good story, and thankfully history is full of those. You are a gifted drawer, and you enjoy our picture study almost as much as I do. It's fun to learn with you.

Every once in a while, I hear a clock ticking. The ticking sounds so loud, it hurts my ears and squeezes my heart. Like today on your seventh birthday. And sometimes I don't hear or notice anything. It's those times that concern me. I want to be aware that this is only a season. A very short time to have you here under my wing. Only just down the hall snug in your bed. In the backyard shouting joyfully. Curled up beside me with your elbows digging into my leg as you peer over my shoulder at the book. Here with your funny sticky up hair and your gappy new teeth.

May God make me the mama you need, and may the time we have together be moments filled with purpose, love, and grace. Today and every day, I love you, Caden.

With all my heart,

Mama

Anna Hazel: Five Months!

2012-01-05T21:41:00.003-05:00

You are one cool dudette. And somehow you're already five months old. You have finally managed to laugh without getting hiccups. O, happy day! You do like to laugh--and your brothers love to try to get you to laugh. Alec especially. You two are beginning to be like peas and carrots--rare to find one without the other. I love it. Alec does not know how to be gentle enough with you yet, and he gives me daily scares. I can't leave you alone with him for fear he'll pick you up (most likely by the head) and tote you around. He doesn't mean to be rough, though--he is trying desperately to be so sweet to you. Kissing you, tickling you, patting your cheek, bringing you toys, and so on. So sweet.

You are now (as of a few days ago) a girl on the move. You started getting on your knees and rocking back and forth. Then you started lunging forward. And just like that you are now mobile. You get where you want to go by rolling and creeping in a sort of inchworm fashion. You were just born a few minutes ago--you really shouldn't be doing that yet!

I think you're beginning to work on your top two teeth and you want to chew on everything you can get into your mouth--which is often unsuspecting fingers belonging to persons happy to hold you until that unfortunate moment. You still love to suck on your fist, and I keep wondering if you will ever transition to thumbsucking or not.

You're still the happiest baby ever alive. You do want to be in motion now and it seems to irritate you some to be put into your bouncer. You work your elbows under you, push yourself up, and then hold yourself in a crazy jackknife position. If only I could do that (I don't know that I've ever had the ability). You smile freely and giggle and squeal with girly sounds. It's pretty fun.

The day before you turned five months old, you got to meet your Marmie (your namesake) and your HatDaddy for the very first time. I think they were smitten with you--you're hard to resist with your sunshiney ways. We had a wonderful, if far too short, visit with both of them.

You have two wonderful sets of grandparents, and I'm so glad that they are such a special part of our lives. I hope that you are able to get to know them well and learn much from them--they have lots of wisdom and love to share.

I'm often struck by the wonder of having a little daughter. It hasn't lost its shine. I thank God often for the gift of you. May you know Him early and love Him well, Anna Hazel!

Say Yes to the Mess

2011-12-05T06:00:00.001-05:00

I'm the kind of mom who doesn't like messes. (Even though I seem to create plenty of my own.) I'm not naturally a neat and tidy person, but I really like neat and tidy, ifyouknowhatimean.

So, this means that I cringe when the kids want to paint, play with playdough, dump a gazillion blocks out, pull all the books off the shelf, get grass stains, etc. Basically, I'm spending their childhoods cringing. Yikes.

I'm learning to slowly say, "Yes!" when they ask to do something that requires cleanup. I'm also not freaking totally out (though the neighbors might be) when the boys want to go out in the rain and play in the mud puddles. (Yes, I wonder if my neighbors judge me--do you?)

What do messes bring? Well, they bring...messiness. It's true. But they also bring discovery. Adventure. Delight. Memories. Fun!

The picture above really doesn't do justice to how incredibly dirty and messy my boys were after their romp in the rain and mud. It meant muddy shoes, clothing, jackets, bodies, floors. It cost me an extra load of laundry and a quick floor wipe (I mean, seriously, my floors are pretty dirty as it is anyway these days). I had to run a bath for them afterwards. Really a pretty small price to pay for the (see above) pure stinkin' joy on those faces!

Definitely worth it.

Anna Hazel: Four Months!

2011-12-01T23:02:00.003-05:00

The above picture is you with your latest fashion statement. It does look pretty cute that way.

This month has been full of big changes! Last month you started rolling from tummy to back and now you can go from back to tummy! You have also figured out how to grab your toes. This provides you with endless entertainment plus attached teething gear. You're laughing even more now, but you have an unfortunate quirk. Every time you start to really get going with a belly laugh...you get hiccups! Every. Single. Time. Strange but true. I hope you outgrow it, because I imagine it would be a cruel deterrent to laughing in the long run. ;)

You're still the happiest baby ever born. I mean, seriously, it's kind of ridiculous how easy you are! Daddy and I have decided that you must be saving your challenging days for another stage of your life.

You have taken a wee bit of a departure now and then this month from your blissful self with a tiny bit of fussing. Know why? You got some teeth, baby girl! Two bottom teeth have poked through. You keep rubbing your tongue along the edge of them and you've given yourself a sore on the side of your tongue! I suppose it must feel funny to have those new sharp objects in your mouth, huh?

Your daddy is in love with you, your brothers are in love with you, and I am in love with you. We feel so blessed to have you in our family, shining your smiles upon us every day. Sometimes when I'm in a sour mood and feeling snippy and short, I find myself stopping mid-snippiness as I catch your eye. For some reason, realizing that a little girl who will someday become a woman, probably very much like me in some ways, is watching my every move, shines a very bright light on my sinfulness like nothing else ever has. I thank God for that. He is changing me in a new way just because you are here smiling at me and loving me.

May He grant you His peace and may He mold you into a woman most like the Jesus who lives in me and less like the Mama who falls short so often.

We Are Thankful!

2011-11-24T07:31:00.002-05:00

Our family has so, so much to thank God for! We filled out a "thankful board" last year and I loved it so much that we did it again. Here are some of the things we all listed:

Anna Hazel

Jesus

Air

Candy

Crisp Apples

Math

Garden

HatDaddy

Friends

Olivet

Good stories

Tea

Energy

Spacemen

Dimples

Alec

Brothers and sisters

Science experiments

Home

Marmie

Daddy

Job

TobyMac

Alec

Food

Love

Warm blankets

Caden

Ice cream

Park days

4 kids

Alec

Rock and roll

Cinnamon rolls

Granddaddy

Smiles

Sparkly eyes

Mama

Rain

Birds

Kelsie

Nannie

Chocolate

Snow

Big van

Generous giving

Beautiful art

Salvation

Doctors

Homeschooling

Legos

Reading

Jazz

Secrets

Levi

Walks

Chocolate milk

Library

"In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

1 Thessalonians 5:18

The Lullaby: A Sweet Way to Minister to My Babies--No Matter How Big They Are

2011-11-23T16:12:00.003-05:00

One of my absolute favorite things to do for my children is sing to them before they go to sleep. Honestly, I don't do it much for my "big" kids, and I'm thinking I want to do it more. Songs stay with you. They work their way into your mind and then your heart. They stick with you forever!

Part of the beauty of lullabies is that a mama's voice right before bed sounds beautiful to her children even if that mama thinks otherwise. ;)

I have some favorite hymns I love to sing and some beautiful lullabies, too. Every once in a while I'll post the lyrics to a lullaby that I know or want to learn better so I can sing it to my babes.

Here's one I've sung since Caden was still in my belly.

"There Is Only One"

by Twila Paris

There is only one person like you in all of this great big world,

And you are just who God made you to be whether a boy or a girl.

Whether you are black or white or some beautiful color in between;

No matter your shape or size, you're as perfect as anything I've ever seen.

Your mom and your dad, they are so glad you are a part of their family;

There is only one who loves you more, He is your father in heaven,

He is the Lord.

The music is truly beautiful. You can find the CD or MP3 download here on Amazon. I searched a bit to try to find the full song for you to listen to and could only find this YouTube video. The video quality is less than stellar, but you could just open it in another window and listen to the music. ;)

Enjoy and sing something to your own little one tonight!

Oh, I Am So In!

2011-11-23T09:48:00.004-05:00

Click above if you want to check it out!

Picking Up My "Pen" Again...

2011-11-21T13:13:00.007-05:00

So...

I think I might write a bit.

Yeah.

Like more than one post every three months.

Maybe.

I've been thinking about it quite a bit recently, and I've decided to give it a whirl.

Notice the noncommittal language I'm using?

Because I'm a wee bit afraid of it not working out. Maybe I don't really have time for this. Or maybe I'll be too tempted to let it take over more than it should.

But I've got a time budget. And I've got a direction. And I've got a commitment to make this be about improving my life instead of taking from it.

The biggest reasons I want to write again:

1) Blogging makes things happen for me. When I blog about something, it's more likely to become part of my fabric. And there's a sense of accountability too. You know, like how the whole world just heard you "say" that, so you better live up to it.

2) Blogging the beauty-that-is-my-life makes me see that beauty for what it is. And I need more gratitude in my life.

3) I'd love to record more memories for our family.

What this writing might (or might not) look like (again notice the lack of resolution...):

1) Brief posts

2) Quick thoughts

3) Little memories

(Do you see a theme?)

In case you're interested, my plan to (perhaps) resume blogging was sparked by Laura Booz's book, Blogger Behave. If you're a blogger, you should definitely check it out.

Here goes...

Photo Credit

A Successful Day

2011-11-19T22:07:00.003-05:00

My eyes linger over the mess. Groceries piled on the counters and floor. Shoe boxes that are only halfway packed up for Operation Christmas Child. A mass of laundry partially folded today. Random items scattered hither and yon.

And I sigh.

And I think, "One more day that I'm behind again. One more day ending in disorder instead of order. One more morning to wake up to this terrible mess! One more day of failure."

Then God reminds me. He reminds me of what was truly accomplished today. Heart connection with a little four year old who needed some one-on-one time. Prayers of blessing as a family over our shoe boxes for the little children who will receive them. Gentle answers of grace instead of harsh anger. Delight in seeing God provide in unexpected ways for Christmas giving and sharing. A growing joy in my heart as I watch with wonder the boys my sons are becoming. The opportunity to help a friend. Choosing service instead of selfishness. Finding gratitude in the details. The moment my husband pulls my head to his chest and kisses my brow and I feel his trust in me.

How is that failure? I reject the lie.

There is tomorrow. Tomorrow to wake up and rejoice in His goodness. Tomorrow to do the next thing. Tomorrow to continue to pursue Him. Tomorrow to grow in grace and discipline.

I am not a failure. I am a masterpiece in progress.

Does It Even Matter?

2011-11-16T16:07:00.003-05:00

The failure, the mistakes, the wishing-I-was-more-like-so-and-so, the discouragement, the never-endingness of it all.

The laundry that goes on forever.

The meals that need to be eaten again tomorrow.

The floor that is always sticky the same day it's mopped.

The hearts I'm seeking to cultivate, but so often disappoint instead.

If I'm so bad at this, does it even matter if I try? Why try if after years of trying I'm still prone to disorganization, selfishness, sharp words?

Yes. Yes, it matters. And I'll press on towards His excellence because what matters most is this: His grace. His grace for me, his grace for my children, his grace for our family. His grace when I fail, His grace when I succeed. His story told in my weakness.

Let my story be this: she lived in His grace.

Elderberry Syrup

2011-11-14T22:44:00.006-05:00

For the past three years I’ve made elderberry syrup when cold and flu season rolled around in an effort to help keep my family healthy. What I can gather from research tells me that there’s plenty of scientific evidence for the use of elderberry against the flu, and a good bit of “folk wisdom” about it being effective when treating colds if prepared a certain way.

Each year, I’ve had to revisit my bookmarks on the topic, and muddle through once more how to make it, dosage information, and so on. I’m writing it down now, because, for Pete’s sake, I’d like to work smarter instead of harder! Can I get a witness?

So, here’s the recipe I follow for Elderberry Syrup and the dosages I use. By the way, I’m not a doctor, and I don’t play one on TV. So, use the brain God gave you and decide for yourself how to treat yourself. This is not medical advice.

I order one pound of dried elderberries (berries, not flowers) from Mountain Rose Herbs or any other place I can get bulk herbs. I’m usually going for the lowest price and the best shipping. (No, I do not want to pay for shipping with my first born child, thankyouverymuch.)

One pound of dried berries is about four cups. I dump my berries into a big (read: huge) pot—I think it’s a 12 quart stock pot. Then I add two gallons of water. I turn the heat on the stove to high and wait for it to boil. Once it boils, find a clothespin and attach it to your nose. Because part of the price you have to pay for homemade elderberry syrup is the Elderberry Funk that comes with the process.

I turn down the heat some—enough that it isn’t a rolling boil, but it’s still boiling. Then I let it boil down till I’ve reduced it to about half. This takes a while. So, I hope you didn’t plan on going anywhere today. I probably should have mentioned that up near the top of these instructions. Oh, well. Oh, and I hope you’re not having company tonight either. Or maybe not even tomorrow. Because it kinda takes a while for the Funk to dissipate.

Once the elderberry brew (heehee!) is reduced by half, I strain it through cheesecloth (you can also use an old, clean t-shirt). I let the berries in the cheesecloth cool some (well, I do now after burning my sweet little hands the first time), and then I squeeze as much of that elderberry, funky goodness out that I can.

Then I dump in 8 cups of sugar. Yes, the “White Death”. Here’s why I use plain old white sugar and not something else. First of all, the juice on its own tastes nasty. Some people like it. I do not number myself among them. Adding something sweet enables me to take it without gagging. Plus, I don’t have to pin my children on the floor and force their mouths open to get them to take it. I can now reserve that special move exclusively for tooth brushing time. Secondly, adding sugar helps to preserve it. Without sugar, the juice will only keep about three days in the fridge. In fact, you can add even more sugar to make a shelf-stable syrup that will keep almost indefinitely if you have at least 65% sugar. I don’t have a need to keep it in the cabinet forever, so I use less. Third, it’s cheaper than sucanat or honey. Fourth, if I use honey, I can’t give it to my children who are under two. Finally, in the doses I’ll be taking, there won’t be enough sugar to be immunosuppressive.

OK, now that we have that squared away—next I stir it all together until the sugar is completely dissolved. I pour it into small freezer bags with zip tops, and stack them in the freezer. I keep out enough to fill a pint size jar for use now. The mixture will keep in the fridge for 2-3 months.

Dosages:

Adults here get 1 tablespoon per dose.

Kiddos (3-12) here get 1 ½ teaspoons per dose. (Half that of adults.)

Toddlers get ¾ teaspoon per dose. (Half that of bigger kids.)

Frequency: Once a day for prevention; 3-4 times a day if exposed; and 6-8 times a day (approximately every two hours during waking hours).

This is enough to get my family through an entire flu season. The ingredients cost me less than twenty bucks!

Whew! From now on, I can find this and save myself a bunch of time come fall! J

Photo Credit: Keith Ritchie

Anna Hazel: Three Months!

2011-11-03T06:55:00.006-04:00

Three months old. Recently, when I look at you, little one...I feel like I'm in some kind of time vortex. Time is a ridiculously fast subway train and all I'm getting as I look out the window is tiny glimpses and flashes of what is outside.

However, every once in a while time turns into an old steam locomotive. In those moments I take a deep breath, settle in, and watch as the beautiful scenery chugs by. Like those moments when I lie down to nurse you. I smell the scent of your head. I take in your curly lashes and blue eyes smiling up at me. I hear your brothers joyfully playing some game they've invented in the living room. I grasp your tiny fingers in my own and whisper things to you about how I love you and how I'm so glad you came.

You are growing too fast, but I am so grateful for those slow rides in the countryside.

You rolled over for the first time this month! The day before you turned 12 weeks old, I found you flipped from fromt to back, happily enjoying the view above you. Two days later, the boys and I saw you do it with our own eyes. They insisted that I keep flipping you back over so they could see you do it again. We were pretty excited for you, but I think it got old on your part pretty fast.

You also started laughing some this month. Know who can make you laugh the most? Levi! He takes your little sweet hands in his own and sort of claps them together while making a funny noise that sort of goes like this: "Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh!" Over and over and over again. And you think it is hilarious!! Daddy can make you laugh, too. You haven't laughed much at me yet (am I not that funny?) despite all my attempts.

Even though you aren't always laughing, you are pretty much always smiling. You are such a smiley girl! You seem to truly delight in the life around you and hardly ever fuss or cry. Anna Hazel, you are so EASY to take care of! Sometimes I think perhaps you should fuss a little more, so I don't forget about you in the midst of all these other crazy people! ;)

A friend lent us a swing and you love that, too. If you ever get fussy and I can't seem to calm you by nursing you or holding you or laying you down, I can put you in the swing and you will fall right to sleep. I can see that you are going to want to be more upright shortly as I watch you pull yourself forward in your carseat or in the bouncer.

You still don't have any sign of teeth yet, which is different from all your brothers. They all either had teeth by now or were showing signs of them about to pop through. It will be interesting to see when yours decide to come--it would be strange if they came on a "normal" time frame instead of so early like the boys.

I am still delighting in you as a daughter. You're beautiful, small lady. I hope that you will see God's love for you early in your life, and that you will make a decision to love and serve him. I pray that you will be a woman who is strong, wise, kind, and bold for God. May God's hand rest on you. I love you!

Anna Hazel: Two Months!

2011-10-07T22:56:00.001-04:00

Little Anna Hazel, you're two months old now! Oh, the time flies and it hurts my heart when my babies grow so fast. You were just born yesterday! How did you get so big?

You talk more and more these days. You're a real Chatty Cathy! I know your brothers started babbling some at this age, but it definitely seems more pronounced with you. Is this a sign of things to come, I wonder? You are so intense when you talk, too. Your face is full of expression and you look right into the eyes of whoever is holding you as you tell your story. I sure do love to listen to your precious voice. Sometimes I'm pretty sure you're telling me that you love me. ♥

Your brothers are just as crazy about you as ever. They are always wanting to hold you and talk to you. They love to try to get you to talk to them and when you smile at them, they yell, "Mama!! Anna Hazel smiled at me!" Your smiles are pretty valuable, you see. Alec pays the most attention to you right now. You are his baby. And he can get pretty jealous when another brother (usually Levi) comes around to pay some attention to you. He usually shouts at them and tells them, "MY Baby!!" He is still rough with you sometimes (he nearly jumped on your head the other day). But he is also awfully sweet to you, too. Kissing you gently and speaking in whispers that he loves you.

You are just beginning to discover your hands and feet. Especially when you have your brown shoes with the blue flowers on. You will stare and stare at those. Then you will wiggle your feet and show increased interest that it seems to be connected to you!

I have never had a baby who was a finger or thumb sucker. I was determined not to, actually. I always thought if my baby was sucking his finger that he was ready to eat or wanted to nurse for comfort. Well, you just get plain mad if I offer to nurse you and you're not actually hungry! You will nurse till you're full, then pop off and put your fingers in your mouth. It drives me crazy! But your determination is stronger than my determination, so I might have a thumb sucker yet. ;) I have to admit, though, that you are the easiest baby yet because you soothe yourself so well. Sometimes I feel guilty about it, because it's easier to "overlook" you when you are soothing yourself.

You are nursing well, though, and growing like a weed. At your two month check up, you were 13 pounds and seven ounces and 24 inches long! That's about the 95th percentile for height and 85th percentile for weight!

Your hair seems a bit lighter now, but it's getting longer. I think your sweet, shining eyes are going to be blue. Your eyelashes have a beautiful curl to them that makes me want to spend a long time looking at you. You are looking more and more like Levi to me right now. Many people say that you look like me--I'm not sure if that's just because you are a girl or if it's actually true.

I'm having so much fun having a little daughter, Anna Hazel. You are so sweet and I love to cuddle you and talk to you. It sobers me when I think that you will be looking to me to be your example of how a woman should be. I'm so often harsh, impatient, selfish, and ungracious. May the Lord continue to work in me so that I can be the kind of woman I want you to become some day.

You are so loved, little girl!

Anna Hazel: One Month!

2011-09-27T22:51:00.000-04:00

Little girl, you are one month old! Oh my. How I love you! I did not understand just how special it would be to have a little girl. I love your brothers--boys are so much fun! But it is different to have a daughter. Beautifully different. I have had the best of fun dressing you in pretty clothing and putting bows in your hair! I love whispering things to you while you fall asleep about how precious you are and how I can't wait to share girl things with you.

You have stolen my heart utterly away--and I'm fine with that.

Your brothers were utterly captivated by you before you were even born--and now you have sent them over the top. Caden talks about how sweet and cute you are. Levi wants to hold you and comfort you all the time. Alec thinks you belong just to him and he doesn't really like sharing you with anyone--including me! Whenever he hears you crying, his eyes widen and he runs to find me. "Baby! Baby!" Then he runs to find you and comfort you. This usually includes nearly smothering you if I can't get there quickly enough. He was so rough with you at first, but he has learned quickly how to be gentle. He doesn't always remember to be gentle, but it is so sweet when he does gently pat your cheek or kiss the top of your head which is often.

Your hair is still dark and much thicker than your brothers ever had. Your eyes are a deep blue now, and I wonder if they will stay that way or change into a hazel like your name. You have beautiful rosebud lips and a nose that reminds me of Levi's--a button nose. I love the tiny dotted indentations in your left ear. Fairy marks? ;) You're beautiful, Anna Hazel, and I just like to look at you.

When you were three weeks old, you started smiling. That day you smiled at me, at Caden, and at Levi. You did not smile at Alec. Perhaps that was one of those days that he forgot to be so gentle and you didn't feel like smiling at him? But then you took a break from smiling for a week. After a week (was there nothing to smile about in that week?) you took it up again full force. Plus, you added cooing to your repertoire. And when you smile, you do it with all your heart! Your eyes scrinch up like Levi's when you smile. I love it. And you usually open your mouth into a big old grin. And when you coo, you smile at the same time. I'm pretty sure that you're telling me you love me.

You've shared a few smiles with Daddy now, too. I think he's in love with you. I love to overhear him talking to you before bed. I can't hear what he's saying all the time, but he talks to you in sweet, low tones. He teases you, too, like he has with all of our babies, about your wonderful chubbiness. I love the roundness on your neck and arms and legs! Very, very kissable.

You are an "easy" baby, little girl. You don't cry very much and you sleep a lot. You're nursing well and growing well. You, in short, are a pleasure.

I'm so, so glad that you are here. I'm so glad that God gave us a little girl. I'm so glad that little girl was you. You're precious to us, little Anna Hazel, and we love you dearly.

Levi Reads the Word...?

2011-09-14T21:30:00.003-04:00

Tonight, Levi asked if he could read his Bible after prayer time. Keith said yes. This is what we heard as he opened his little brown New Testament:

"God sent his son to Egypt. The people were bad. He told them to be good. They didn't have any food, so they went to Egypt to get food. They didn't have anything to drink. God told his 'ciples to give them a drink. There was a good king and a bad king. God told the good king, 'You must kill the bad king.' Then he told his 'ciples, 'You go get a gun.'"

Looks like we still have some work to do.

Alec is 2!

2011-07-10T22:59:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow morning, my Bitty Bit will wake up and be two years old. TWO! Where has the time gone? Just a few days ago you were being born, Alec--isn't that right?

The reality is that every day I see more little boy and less baby. It's the way it's supposed to be, but sometimes it's still hard to let go. Your hair is no longer baby curly--it's short and clean cut like your brothers. And, in fact, you want everything to be like your big brothers. You are utterly convinced that you are just as big as they are and you should be able to do everything that they do.

I can distinctly remember one of Levi's favorite phrases at this age: "Watch dis, Mama!" And now you say it, too. You like to jump off the couch with abandon after you say this. I'm afraid one of these days you're going to break a leg! You like to sit for your favorite book and repeat all the phrases inside: "In the great green room, there was a telephone, and a red balloon, and a picture of--a cow jumping over the moon." (Goodnight Moon) I love it when we get to the part about the old lady whispering, "Hush"--it's pretty much the only time I hear you whisper. ;)

You love to play with Legos and trains with your big brothers. You think you can ride their big bikes. You like to swing on the swing, and you don't really want to get in the baby swing anymore--you just want to hold on for dear life to the "big" swing.

You absolutely love to dance to Toby Mac and DC Talk. Each of you boys has made your daddy proud with your love for this music. Your "dancing" consists of a lot of running, spinning, jumping, and other crazy moves. It's pretty darn fun to watch. When the three of you all get in on the act, it's chaotic in here!

You can wrestle with the best of them and you certainly give your big brothers a run for their money. You can take them out when they least expect it.

One of my favorite parts of every day is at the very end when you sit in my lap in the rocking chair for a few quiet moments with your wahwer (sippy cup), bankt-et (blanket), and burr (bear). You need to have each of those items, and when you're satisfied all is as you like it to be, you'll cuddle into my shoulder and let me hold you for a little while as you relax for sleep. I love smelling your skin and feeling your smallness rest on me.

You light up our days, Alec, with your smile and laughter. We can certainly see some challenges coming as you learn to press against the boundaries, but we want you to know that we're committed to loving you enough to let you know those boundaries are definitely there. :)

I've got so far to go as a woman of God and as a mother. I know Daddy feels, too, the need for dependence on our Lord to help us parent you. We're so grateful for His grace as we fail in our attempts to parent. We pray for you--that you would know His love and the power of His grace. We pray that you would respond to that love and seek to follow Him wholeheartedly.

May His hand of blessing be heavy upon you, sweet boy. Your mama and daddy love you so much and we always will.

A Royal Wedding

2011-05-01T18:59:00.002-04:00

In the last few days I've enjoyed looking at a few pictures and videos of the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton. The beauty, the pageantry, the fantastic crowds--it has been an incredible sight.

As a little girl, I loved the idea of growing up and marrying a prince. Having beautiful clothes and luxurious possessions. Having a knight in shining armor to make all my dreams come true.

So, I was a bit surprised at myself that the whole royal wedding media blitz wasn't piquing my interest more. Everyone seemed crazy about this couple and a few people wondered why I wouldn't want to get up early to watch their wedding live.

After a bit of thought and reflection, I realized why.

I already have my dream. I already have my knight. I am truly contented with the beautiful life God has given to me. I have (in my opinion) the most wonderful man in the world as my very own husband. I am blessed with four beautiful children. We have a sweet home that is filled to overflowing with love.

While I enjoyed watching the bits of royal celebration that I did, it didn't evoke any sense of wistfulness or discontent. I don't have any desire to switch places with Kate Middleton. And that makes me realize just how blessed I really am.

So, here's a shout out to the man of my dreams. Keith, you make me smile and laugh. You rescue me with your encouragement and strength on almost a daily basis. You provide a place of warmth and security for each one who lives here. You make me feel like a princess even when I don't act like one.

Prince William can have his sweet Kate.

I only want sweet you.

Levi is 4!

2011-04-11T09:10:00.001-04:00

Little Levi. You've grown so much in this past year! Last year you were so much more of a baby. Now, you're quickly leaving that behind. The round cheeks are still here (for a little while), but the legs are longer and leaner, and there isn't much of a round belly anymore. Don't grow too fast, little one.

My heart overflows with emotion when I think about the way your brown eyes sparkle and crinkle up in the corners when you smile. You know how to put your arms around my neck--just so--and rub your nose to mine and say, "I love you, Mama." All the while smiling with your dimples and moon shaped dancing eyes. One day I told you that you were sweet. You grinned with your nose close to mine and said, "I am sweet aren't I?" Yes, little one, you are.

You can say your "L's" now. It used to be, "I wuv you, Mama." I don't hear those L's all the time, though. Lovey is still Wuvvie quite often. Which is perfectly fine by me. It's also perfectly fine by me that Lovey is still such a fixture in your life. You got married this year--you and Lovey. She's also sick quite often, which is unfortunate. Additionally, she often hurts you--pinching, biting, scratching and hitting you. That Lovey. It must be hard to be married to a wife like that.

For the past year, it hasn't been unusual for us to be loading into the van and hear you pipe up, "Can I drive, Mama?" Um, no, dear, you're only three. So when you turned four, one of the first things you asked that day was, "Now can I drive, Mama?" I guess I need to clarify that it's going to be a long, long, long time before you can drive.

Your cowboy boots are still your favorite footwear. You were given a new pair for Christmas, and now only four months later, they are looking pretty rough. Shorts with boots is always a fashion possibility in your world, Levi.

During family Bible time, you're beginning to listen more, ask more questions and even have some answers to Daddy's questions. It's exciting to see your mind working on spiritual things. We are praying for you, Levi--that you would understand God's love for you, His character and His eternal plan of redemption for the people that He loves so much. We are praying that you will respond to His grace and that you will know Him soon as your own Savior.

This year we're beginning to have some fun with preschool activities--counting and learning letters and rhyming and reading lots of good books. You love a good book and ask lots of questions. You're excited when you see a letter that you recognize. You can count to five and you think you can count to ten--but it goes something like this: "One, two, three, four, five, seven, nine, six, eight, ten." :)

One of the most exciting developments in your year has been the knowledge that you are getting a little sister! You are so excited about her coming! When you feel her kick, your eyes grow wide with wonder. You talk about her and what you will do with her and for her when she arrives. She is your "little girl". One night you asked me, "Mama, where is my girl going to sleep?" "You mean your little sister?" "Yeah, where is my girl going to sleep--can she sleep with me when she comes?" I had to explain that she would be far too small to safely sleep with you. You were pretty disappointed. I can't wait to see you lay eyes on her for the first time. You and your girl.

In some ways it is so hard to see you grow. I love to see the new things you are learning, but I also know that these days are so precious--these days when you still count on me to comfort you, look to me to guide you, offer your little boy affection so freely in the form of neck hugs and nose kisses. Lord, help me to drink them in--not to waste the moments you gift to me with my little Levi.

Levi, may the Lord bless you and keep you. May He make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May He lift up His countenance unto you and give you His peace.

Grace from the Hazel Tree

2011-02-16T21:23:00.005-05:00

Keith and I are the proud parents of three fine boys. They delight my heart and fill my days with so much laughter. I am so very glad to be the mother of three boys. I have always wondered what it would be like to mother a little girl, but had begun to assume that perhaps I was simply destined to be a mother to boys alone.

Today was our ultrasound to check anatomy of our newest little one. You know: heart, brain, lip, kidneys, thigh bone, and well...you know. When we arrived, the tech asked us if we "wanted to know". And since I've been dying of anticipation for this moment for months, my answer was a very quick, "Yes!!"

Nearly as soon as she'd popped the video cassette in and turned her machine on, she said, "Well, it looks like this next little one is a girl!"

I was shocked! Halfway between a whisper and a shriek my voice came out, "Are you serious?!!!"

Honestly, I'd been hoping for a little girl, but I didn't really and truly expect it. Tears started falling immediately as the reality of having a sweet little daughter washed over me. And, folks, I saw the evidence--she's definitely a girl. I've seen a few ultrasounds by now, and while I'm no expert at interpreting most of what I see...it's always been pretty obvious that it's been a little boy. And this time that part was conspicuously absent.

So, our first sweet little girl. Wow. We've had a name chosen for a while now--we finally get to use it! She is named after my sweet mama, Hazel Ann McLeod. Her name will be Anna Hazel Preston. Anna means grace and Hazel means Hazel tree. How perfect is that? Grace from the Hazel tree.

God has shown His redemptive heart in the life of my mother and in her life and "line". And now I have a little daughter coming from that same Hazel tree, and it is certainly by God's grace that she is part of our family. May His grace rest heavy upon her as she grows and blossoms.

The boys were so excited when we told them! Caden met us at the door as we arrived home with the question, "Was it a little boy or a little girl?!" So, Keith gathered them all around him and knelt down in front of them as he slowly said, "Well, you are going to have a little...sister!" Whoops and hollers and a great deal of jumping began--initiated by Caden and quickly followed by Levi. Then Levi stopped jumping and asked, quite sincerely, "Me, too?"

Yes, dear one--you, too!

Caden enjoyed asking people at church tonight, "Do you know what kind of baby we're going to have? A little sister!"

Some of the sweetest moments of parenting happened on this day. ♥

Thank you, Lord, for the blessing and privilege of raising a daughter! Thank you for Anna Hazel.

Happy 6th Birthday, Caden!

2011-01-26T22:14:00.000-05:00

Six years ago today, a warm bundle with penetrating blue eyes was placed in my arms. That moment transformed me forever. I was a mother, and I was deeply in love.

Six years later, I'm still deeply in love and those eyes that captured my heart, while not as deeply blue now as they were on that day, still penetrate my soul with their innocence, curiosity and frankness.

Caden, my Caden. I cannot believe you are six.

I am so proud of you, my son. For the ways you have grown and for all that you are still becoming. I feel as though I'm finally watching you come into yourself. You are learning to control your deep passions--which range both high and low. You love with all your heart and you hurt with all your heart--but you're steadier.

I like you, boy. I love you because I am your mother and you are my son. But, more than that, you fascinate me and make me laugh and enthrall me with all that is you. I like your sense of humor and your gentle way with Alec and your vim for life and your creativity with anything that finds its way into your hands.

Goodness, you are so creative. Daddy and I marvel at all that you work up in your brain. Your stories and your play are so fun to listen to and watch. Your handiwork with paper and glue and other craft supplies is simply amazing to us. Truly God has given you a creative mind.

Your biggest interest is currently space. You love to dress up in your astronaut costume, to tell us about the planets, and to dream of one day flying a rocket to the moon--or wherever else a rocket might take you in that outer world. Daddy informed you that most astronauts are pilots first--many as fighter pilots in the Air Force. This made me frown in his direction. I don't relish the idea of my sweet baby flying a fighter jet. And yet, we've talked about the fact that God has good plans for you. Whatever he has for you, my darling, will be wonderful.

Just recently you woke, and with a voice filled with excitement, immediately began telling Daddy about a special dream you had had.

"Daddy, I had a really good dream and GOD was in it! He told me that when I grow up I can live here in Dublin with you and Mama. And he also told me that he would be with me wherever I go, and that he would protect me. He sounded like an old man, but I think he was just whispering to me."

As Keith and I listened to you recount this dream, we both knew undoubtedly that God had, indeed, for whatever purpose, chosen to speak this peace to you in a dream. It was so exciting to hear about! I pray that your heart stays open to whatever he may have to say to you, little one.

Can it be? Can it be that so much of the time entrusted to me as your nurturer and teacher and every-day-right-here-beside-you mother has flown by? It chokes me some to think of it--to think of all the mistakes I've made and the opportunities I've missed. Also, to think that time will only fly faster and faster, and before I can even turn around...the time will be gone.

May I cherish you, Caden. And may I be faithful to the task the Father has given me to love you and teach you and nourish you. May you grow into a man of His making with a heart for His calling--whatever that may be.

Your mama loves you, my boy.

Reading List for 2011

2011-01-01T12:48:00.011-05:00

In an effort to keep my brain from turning to mush, I've compiled a list of books I want to read in the coming year. Disclaimer: I reserve the right to change my mind at any time, throw down books that are frustrating me, read a new one on a lark, or simply let my brain turn to mush and not read anything at all.

Family Life
What is a Family by Edith Schaeffer
For the Family's Sake by Susan Schaeffer Macauley
Hints on Child Training by H. Clay Trumbull
Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson
Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow

The Christian Life
Stepping Heavenward by Elisabeth Prentiss
Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper
Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham
A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh DeMoss
~~Revolution in World Missions by K.P. Yohannan~~
The Disciplined Life by Richard Taylor
~~Heaven Is for Real by Todd Burpo~~

Education
Home Education by Charlotte Mason
~~A Charlotte Mason Education~~ by Catherine Levison
~~Real Learning: Education in the Heart of the Home~~ by Elizabeth Foss

Home Management
Large Family Logistics by Kim Brenneman
Organized Simplicity by Tsh Oxenreider
~~31 Days to Clean by Sarah Mae~~

Fiction
Little Men by Louisa May Alcott
Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
~~The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe~~
~~Prince Caspian: The Return to Narnia~~
~~The Voyage of the Dawn Treader~~
The Silver Chair
The Horse and His Boy
The Last Battle
~~The Magician's Nephew~~
~~Jane Eyre~~ by Charlotte Bronte
~~Home to Holly Springs~~ by Jan Karon
~~In the Company of Others~~ by Jan Karon

Health
Naturally Healthy Babies and Children by Aviva Jill Romm
~~Naturally Healthy Pregnancy by Shonda Parker~~

It's a Wonderful Life

2010-12-23T03:47:00.003-05:00

Tonight I was up with little Alec--he had a terrible earache. Once we got some Tylenol into him and some warm oil in his ears, he was doing much better--though still not ready to return to bed. So, I dragged my worn, beloved rocking chair into the kitchen, held him in my lap, and read my old blog posts.

And you know what?

I can't believe this is my life. I mean, seriously? Am I really this blessed? I have three beautiful children and a husband who loves me more than life itself. I have a God of redemption and grace who has rescued me from darkness and death.

As I read the posts so full of love and life, I was utterly struck by an awe that I really get to live this life. I thought about earlier today when some things weren't going my way and I had a sour attitude. What in the world? I mean, oh, PLEASE! I have nothing to complain about.

So, instead, I take a moment to turn my heart to gratitude. Thank you! Thank you for giving me this life, this man, these beautiful little hearts. For round cheeks and rosebud lips. Silken lashes and dimpled fingers. Don't let me waste the moments on feelings that steal my joy in what I've been given.

Growing Like a Weed...

2010-06-29T21:45:00.001-04:00

Alec, my darling baby, you're nearly one! How in the world did that happen? The last year has flown by and I'm stunned that you're nearly a whole year old. This birthday always makes me teary, but I'm especially so with you because it seems to have gone even faster.

The day before you turned seven months old, you finally sat up. I say "finally", but it wasn't really that long--just different from your brothers. That must have been boring to you, because the next day you pulled up for the first time! Sitting at seven months minus one day. Pulling up at exactly seven months. Impressive, Alec, very impressive. You also started babbling then. I mean, goodness gracious, it was like all these new skills were just percolating ready to go all of a sudden! What a fun time.

At eight months, your army crawl turned into the real deal. And, Buddy Rowe, could you move! Your crawling is like light speed! Which of course is delightful, but bad news for me. Three boys going in different directions makes life interesting, for sure.

At nine months, with pulling up old news, you were looking for ways to expand your horizons. How about climbing? Yep. I came into Caden and Levi's room to find you on the bottom rung of the bunk bed ladder with your cute little foot lifted up onto the next rung. Um, no sir. Please, someone rescue me from these heart attack moments my boys deliver? You also discovered it was so much fun to pull books of the shelves. Apparently, this particular entertainment has not lost its appeal. I really, really wish it would.

Nine months was also your first trip to the emergency room. Yep. An ear infection was followed by an antibiotic. An antibiotic that you reacted to. While we were on vacation. In Panama City Beach. Fun times. So, I made a trip with you in the middle of the night to the ER. Where you proceeded to charm every single staff member with your grins and silly antics. It was a little embarrassing. After all, you were supposed to be sick. (Actually, I was kind of delighted.)

At ten months, you liked to wave "ba" and say it, too. Fancy. That was your first word. Followed by "Da". Is it just me, or do moms get the raw end of the deal on this one? I mean, I birth you, I nurse you, I carry you around--couldn't one of you say my name first? Just once? Then came something that sounded like "Caden"--not the letter sounds, exactly, but the intonation. Very cute. Levi is probably much harder to say, but sometimes I think I hear you saying it.

At eleven months you've been trying out standing. You stand up from a sitting position, raise your arms in the air proudly, hold the pose for a few seconds, and then fall on your bottom. All while smiling quite broadly. I get the feeling that you're just working on balance for a while and then you're going to go straight to running. (I'm so tired just thinking about it.)

Twelve more days. Twelve more days for you to be my tiny baby. I'm drinking them in...

All my love, sweet baby!

Little Bits

Anna Hazel: Six Months!

Excellence vs. Perfectionism

Caden Is Seven!

Anna Hazel: Five Months!

Say Yes to the Mess

Anna Hazel: Four Months!

We Are Thankful!

The Lullaby: A Sweet Way to Minister to My Babies--No Matter How Big They Are

Oh, I Am **So** In!

Picking Up My "Pen" Again...

A Successful Day

Does It Even Matter?

Elderberry Syrup

Anna Hazel: Three Months!

Anna Hazel: Two Months!

Anna Hazel: One Month!

Levi Reads the Word...?

Alec is 2!

A Royal Wedding

Levi is 4!

Grace from the Hazel Tree

Happy 6th Birthday, Caden!

Reading List for 2011

It's a Wonderful Life

Growing Like a Weed...

Oh, I Am So In!