Talking to Your Baby

1. Do a running commentary. Don’t make a move, at least when you’re around your baby, without talking about it. Narrate the dressing process: ‘Now I’m putting on your nappy… here goes the T-shirt over your head… now I’m buttoning your dungarees.’ In the kitchen, describe the washing of the dishes, or the process of seasoning the pasta sauce. During the bath, explain about soap and rinsing, and that a shampoo makes the hair shiny and clean. It doesn’t matter that your baby hasn’t the slightest inkling of what you’re talking about. Blow-by-blow descriptions help get you talking and baby listening – thereby starting home or her on the path to understanding.
2. Ask a lot. Don’t wait until your baby starts having answers to start asking questions. Think of yourself as a reporter, your baby as an intriguing interviewee. The questions can be as varied as your day: ‘Would you like to wear the red trousers or the green dungarees?’ ‘Should I buy green beans or broccoli for dinner?’ Pause for an answer (one day your baby will surprise you with one), and then supply the answer yourself, our loud (‘Broccoli? Good choice’).
3. Give baby a chance. Studies show that infants whose parents talk with them rather than at them learn to talk earlier. Give your baby a chance to get in a coo, a gurgle or a giggle. In your running commentaries, be sure to leave some opening for baby’s comments.
4. Keep it simple – some of the time. Though right now your baby would probably drive listening pleasure from a dramatic recitation of Hamlet’s soliloquy or an animated assessment of the economy, as he or she gets a bit older, you’ll want to make it easier to pick out individual words. So at least part of the time, make a conscious effort to use simple sentences and phrases: ‘See the light,’ ‘Bye-bye’, ‘Baby’s finger, baby’s toes,’ and ‘Nice doggie’.
5. Put aside pronouns. It’s difficult for a baby to grasp that ‘I’ or ‘me’ or ‘you’ can be mummy, or daddy, or grandma, or even baby – depending on who’s talking. So most of the time, refer to yourself as ‘mummy’ or ‘daddy’ (or ‘grandma’) and to your baby by name: ‘Now Daddy is going to change Amanda’s nappy’.
6. Raise your pitch. Most babies prefer a high-pitched voice, which may be why women’s voices are usually naturally higher-pitched that men’s, and why most mothers’ (and fathers’) voice climb an octave or two when addressing their infants. Try raising your pitch when talking directly to your baby, and watch the reaction. (A few infants prefer a lower pitch; experiment to see which appeals to yours.)
7. Bring on the baby talk… or not. If the silly stuff (‘Who’s my little bunny-wunny?’) comes naturally to you, babble away in baby talk. If it doesn’t, feel free to skip it. If you’re big on baby talk, don’t forget to throw some correct, more adult English into your conversations with your infant, too, so that he or she won’t growing up thinking all words end with a y or ie.
8. Stick to the here and now. Though you can muse about almost anything to your baby, there won’t be any noticeable comprehensive for a while. As comprehensive does develop, you will want to stick more to what the baby can see or is experiencing to the moment. A young baby doesn’t have a memory for the past or a concept of the future.
9. Imitate. Babies love the flattery that comes with imitation. When baby coos, coo back; when he or she utters an ‘Ahh’, utter one, too Imitation will quickly become a game that you’ll both enjoy, and which will set the foundation for baby’s imitating your language – it will also help build self-esteem (‘What I say matters!’).
10. Read aloud. Though at first the words will have no meaning to baby, it’s never too early to begin reading some simple rhyming store is or board books out loud. When you aren’t in the mood for a baby talk and crave some adult-level stimulation, share your love of literature (or recipes or gossip or politics) with your little one by reading what you like to read, aloud.
11. Take your cues from baby. Incessant chatter and song can be tiresome for anyone, even an infant. When your baby becomes inattentive to your wordplay, closes or averts his or her eyes, become fussy or cranky, or otherwise indicates the verbal saturation point has been reached, give it a rest.

Healing belly buttons almost always look and smell worse than they actually are. What constitutes ‘perfectly normal in medical terms van actually send the weak-of-knee to the floor as fast as the climactic scene in a horror film.

umbilical cord healing

Infection of the cord stump is unlikely, especially if you’ve been taking care of keep it clean and dry. Some doctor still recommend using alcohol swabs to promote healing and prevent infection, but studies show that the cord heals as well, and, in some cases, even faster, without the alcohol.) If you note redness in the surrounding skin (which could be due to irritation from alcohol applications as well as infection) or a discharge from the navel or from the base of the umbilical cord particularly a foul-smelling one, check with your doctor. If infection is present, antibiotics will probably be prescribed to clear it up.

The cord, which is shiny and moist at birth, usually dries up and falls off within a week or two, but the big event can occur earlier, or even much later – some babies don’t seem to want to give them up. Until it does drop off, keep the site dry (no tub baths), exposed to air (turn nappy down so it doesn’t rub), and cleaned with alcohol if recommended (but try to protect the surrounding skin, perhaps coating with a baby lotion prior to swabbing or applying alcohol just to the base of the cord – not to the skin – with a cotton swab). When it does fall off, you might notice a small raw spot, or see a small amount of blood-tinged fluid oozing out. This is normal, and unless it doesn’t dry up completely in a few days, there is no need for concern. If it is not completely closed and dry two weeks after the stump falls off, call the doctor. Occasionally, an umbilical granuloma (a small piece of scar tissue that looks bright red and moist) can develop after the cord has fallen off. It’s usually treated with silver nitrate (to dry it out), tied off with a suture, and allowed to wither and drop off. If it doesn’t, it can be removed (a very minor procedure).

Umbilical Hernia

‘Every time she cries, my baby’s navel seems to stick out. What does that mean?’

It probably means that your baby has an umbilical hernia – which (before you start worrying) is absolutely nothing to worry about.
Prenatally, all babies have an opening in the abdominal wall through which blood vessels extend into the umbilical cord. In some cases (for black babies more often than white), the opening doesn’t close completely at birth. When these babies cry, cough or strain, a small coil of intestine bulges through the opening, raising the umbilicus and often the area around it, in a lump that ranges from fingertip to lemon size. While the appearance of such lump (especially when it’s tagged with the term hernia) might be alarming, it’s rarely cause for concern. The intestine almost never strangulates (resulting in ten blood supply to the intestine being cut off) in the opening, and in most cases, the hernia eventually resolves without intervention, Small openings usually close or become inconspicuous within a few months, large ones by age two.

The best treatment for an umbilical hernia is usually no treatment at all. Home remedies that press the lump down (such as bellybands or binders) are ineffective and in some cases potentially harmful. Surgery to correct umbilical hernias is not recommended unless the openings in the abdomen is very large, is growing larger or brothers baby. Often the pediatrician will suggest waiting until the child is six or seven before considering surgery, because most hernias will have closed by then. If, however you see signs of strangulation – the lump does not recede after crying, can’t be pushed in, suddenly becomes larger, is tender, baby is vomiting – go to A & E. Immediate surgery may be needed.

Breast-feeding tips

1. Minimize the mayhem. While you’re both learning the ropes, you and your baby will have to focus on the feeding, and the fewer distractions from that job, the better. Turn off the television (soft music is fine), and let the answer phone pick up the phone at baby’s mealtimes. Retire to the bedroom to feed baby when you have guests or when the general atmosphere in the living room rivals that of a three-ring circus (which in many homes, is around the clock). If you have other children, chances are you’ll already be pretty proficient at feeding – the challenge will be keeping your older ones and your baby happy at the same time. Try diverting their attentions to some quiet activity, like colouring, that they can settle down with at your side, or take this opportunity to read them a story.
2. Make a change. If your baby is relatively calm, you’ve got time for a change. A clean nappy will make for a more comfortable meal and reduce the need for a change right after – a definite plus if your baby has nodded off to dreamland and you’d rather he or she stay there for a while. But don’t change before middle-of-the feedings if baby’s only damp (sopping’s another story); such a disruption makes falling back to sleep more difficult, especially for infants who are mixing up their day and nights.
3. Wash up. Even though you won’t be doing the eating, it’s your hands that should be washed with soap and water before your baby’s meal.
4. Get comfy. Aches and pains are an occupational hazard for new parents who use unaccustomed muscle to carry growing babies around. Feeding baby in an awkward position will only compound the problem. So before putting baby to breast or bottle, be sure you’re comfortable, with adequate support both for your back and for the arm under baby.
5. Loosen up. If your baby is tightly swaddled, unwrap him or her so you can cuddle while you feed.
6. Cool down a fired-up baby. A baby who’s upset will have trouble settling down to the business of feeding, and even more trouble with the business of digesting. Try a soothing song or a little rocking first.
7. Sound reveille. Some babies are sleepy at mealtimes, especially in the early days, and a concerted effort is required to rouse them to the task of nursing at breast or bottle. If your little one is a dinner dozer, try the wake-up techniques.
8. Break for a burp. Midway through each feeding, make a routine of stopping for a burp. Burp, too, any time baby seems to want to quit feeding prematurely or starts fussing at the nipple – it may be gas, not food, that’s filling that little tummy. Bring up the bubble, and you’re back in business.
9. Make contact. Cuddle and caress your baby with your hands, your eyes and your voice. Remember, meals should fill your baby’s requirements not just for nutrient but for parental love as well.

Some babies are perfectly happy to sleep through meals, particularly during the first few days of life. But letting a sleeping baby lie through his feeding means that he won’t be getting enough to eat, and if you’re nursing, that your milk supply won’t be getting the jump start it needs. If your baby is a sleepy baby, try these rousing techniques at mealtime:

Newborn Babies and Sleep

• Choose the right sleep to wake him from. Baby will be much more easily roused during active, or REM, sleep. You’ll know your baby is in this light sleep cycle (it takes up about 50 percent of his sleeping time) when he starts moving his arms and legs, changing facial expressions and fluttering his eyelids.
• Unwrap him. Sometimes, just unswaddling your baby will wake him up. If it doesn’t, undress him right down to the nappy (room temperature permitting) and try some skin-to-skin contact.
• Go for a change. Even if his nappy is not that wet, a change may be just jarring enough to wake him for his meal.
• Dim the lights. Though it may seem that turning on the high-voltage lamps might be the best way to jolt baby out of his slumber, it could have just the opposite effect. A newborn’s eyes are sensitive to light; if the room is too bright, your baby may be more comfortable keeping them tightly shut. But don’t turn the lights all the way off. A too-dark room will only lull baby back off to dreamland.
• Try the ‘dollís eyes’ technique. Holding a baby upright will usually cause his or her eyes to open (much as a doll’s would). Gently raise your baby into an upright or sitting position and pat him on the back. Be careful not to jackknife him (fold him forward).
• Be sociable. Sing a lively song. Talk to your baby and, once you get his eyes open, make eye contact with him. A little social stimulation may induce him to stay awake.
• Rub him the right way. Stroke the palms of your baby’s hands and soles of his feet; massage his arms, back and shoulders. Or do some baby aerobics: move his arms, and pump his legs in a bicycling motion.
• If sleep head still won’t rise to the occasion, place a cool (not cold) flannel on his forehead or rub his face gently with the flannel.Of course, getting your up doesn’t mean you’ll be able to keep baby up – especially not after a few nips of sleep-inducing milk. A baby that’s still drowsy may take the teat, suckle briefly, then promptly fall back asleep, long before he’s managed to make a meal of it. When this happens, try:

1. A burp – whether baby needs a bubble or not, the jostling may rouse him again.
2. A change – this time, of feeding position. Whether you’re nursing or bottle feeding, switch from the cradle hold to the clutch hold (which babies are likely to sleep in).
3. A dribble – some breast milk or formula dribbled on baby’s lips may whet his appetite for his second course.
4. A jiggle – jiggling the breast or bottle in his mouth or stroking his cheek may get the sucking action going again.
5. And repeat – Some young babies alternate sucking and dozing from the start of the meal to the finish. If that’s the case with your baby, you may find you’ll have to burp, change, dribble and jiggle at several times to get a full feedings in.

Its fine to occasionally let your baby sleep when he’s dropped off to dreamland after just a brief appetizer, and all efforts to tempt him into his entree have failed. But for now, don’t let him go more than three hours without a full meal if he’s nursing or four hours if he’s formula fed. It’s also not a good idea to let your baby nip and nap at fifteen- to thirty-minute intervals all day long. If that seems to be the trend, be relentless in your attempts to waken him when he dozes off during a feed.

If chronic sleepiness interferes so much with eating that your baby isn’t thriving, consult the doctor.

• Liquid aspirin substitute, such as Calpol (paracetamol).
• Antiseptic ointment or cream, for minor cuts and scrapes.
• Hydrogen peroxide, for cleaning cuts. A non-stinging spray that numbs or relieves pain as it cleans can make the job even easier.
• Calamine lotion or hydrocortisone cream (0.5 percent), for mosquito bites and itchy rashes.
• Rehydration fluid (such as Dioralyte), if the baby’s doctor recommends it for treatment of diarrhoea.
• Sunscreen, which is now recommended even for infants under six months old when sun protection is otherwise impossible. Look for a gentle made-for-baby formulation.
• Rubbing alcohol, for swabbing on umbilical stump or for cleaning thermometers, but not for rubdowns.
• Calibrated spoon, dropper and/or oral syringe, for administering medications. (Whenever possible, use the one that comes with a medication.)
• Sterile bandages and gauze pads, in a variety of sizes and shapes.
• Adhesive tape, for securing gauze pads.
• Tweezers, for pulling out splinters.
• Nasal aspirator, a bulb syringe for clearing a stuffy nose.
• Ear syringe, for removing wax buildup, if baby’s doctor recommends it.
• Warm mist vaporizer/humidifier. If you choose to buy a humidifier, this is the one to get. Neither the old-fashioned hot steam humidifier (which can lead to burns) nor the cold mist humidifier (which encourages bacterial growth and can spread germs) is recommended.
• A digital thermometer. It is no longer recommended that parents use glass mercury thermometers because of the dangers of mercury exposure. Tympanic (ear) thermometers are less reliable in infants than rectal or axial (armpit) ones. The newer temporal artery thermometers that take the temperature on the forehead, have been shown in studies to be very accurate; they may become more widely available and affordable.
• Small penlight, to check throat for inflammation or pupils after a head injury.
• Tongue depressors, for examining the throat.
• Heating pad and/or hot-water bottle, for smoothing a colicky tummy or relieving sore muscles.

Something is probably wrong – though not necessarily with your milk. Temporary rejection of the breast, also called a nursing strike (even in nonunion babies), is not unusual and almost always has a specific cause, the most common of which are:

Breast Rejection

1. Mother’s diet: Have you been indulging in pasta al pesto or another dish redolent with garlic? Feasting your chops and chopsticks on stir-fried chicken? Honoring Saint Patrick with corned beef and cabbage? If so, your baby may simply be protesting the spicy and/or strong flavors your diet is imparting to his milk. If you figure out what turns your baby off, avoid eating it until after you’ve weaned him. Many babies, on the other hands, don’t mind the strong spices in their mother’s milk, especially if they became accustomed to those flavors in utero through highly seasoned amniotic fluid; some especially relish the taste of spicy breast milk.
2. A cold. Babies who can’t breathe through stuffy noses can’t nurse and breathe through their mouths at the same time; understandably, they opt for breathing. Gently suction baby’s nostrils with an infant nasal aspirator, or ask your baby’s doctor about nose drops.
3. Teething. Though most babies don’t begin the struggle with teeth until at least five or six months, a few begin teething much earlier, and a very occasional baby actually sprouts a tooth or two in the first four months. Nursing often puts pressure on swollen gums, making sucking painful. When budding teeth are the cause of breast rejection, a baby usually starts nursing eagerly, only to pull away in pain.
4. An earache. Because ear pain can radiate to the jaw, the sucking motions of nursing can make discomfort worse.
5. Thrush. If your baby has this fungal infection in his mouth, nursing may be painful. Be sure the condition is treated so that the infection isn’t passed on to you through cracked nipples, or spread elsewhere on the baby.
6. Slow let-down. A very hungry baby may grow impatient when milk doesn’t flow immediately (in some women let-down may take as long as five minutes to occur), and may push away the nipple in a fury before let-down begins. To avoid this problem, express a little milk before you pick him up, so that he’ll get something for his efforts to moment he starts to suck.
7. A hormonal change in you. A new pregnancy (unlikely now if you’re nursing exclusively, more possible if you’ve started your baby on supplement formula feedings) can produce hormones that change the taste of the breast milk, causing baby to reject the breast. So can the return of menstruation, which again isn’t usually an issue until partial weaning begins.
8. Tension in you. Maybe you’re stressed because you’ve recently returned to work. Maybe it’s because it’s bill-paying time, or because the dishwasher just broke – again. Maybe it’s just because you’ve had a really bad day. Whatever the reason, if you’re worried or upset you may be communicating your tension to your baby, making him too agitated to nurse. Try to relax yourself before offering the breast.
9. Readiness for weaning. This couldn’t be the case yet – though in a baby approaching his first birthday, breast rejection might be his way of saying, ‘mummy, I’ve had it with nursing. I’m ready to move on.’ Ironically, babies seen to do this when their mothers are not the least bit interested in weaning, rather than when mum’s ready to quit nursing.

Once in a while, there appears to be no obvious explanation for a baby’s turning down the breast. Like an adult, a baby can be ‘off his feed’ for a meal or two. Fortunately, this kind of hiatus is usually temporary. In the meantime, these suggestions may help you ride out the nursing strike:

• Don’t try substitutes. Offering a bottle of formula when your baby balks at the breast could exacerbate the problem by decreasing your milk supply. Most nursing strikes, even ‘long-term’ ones, last only a day or two.
• Try some breast in a bottle. Express some milk and give it to your baby in a bottle if he continuously rejects the breast (though this won’t work if it’s something in the milk that’s bothering him). Again, the strike’s likely to last only for a day or two, after which your baby will be ready to take milk form the source again.
• Try, try again, Even if he rejects it for a few feedings, chances are he’ll surprise you and start right back where he left out.
• Slow down on solids. If you’ve started your baby on solid food, he may be eating too much, curbing his appetite for beast milk. At this age, breast milk is still more important than any solids, so cut down on the amount of solids you’re feeding and always offer the breast first.

If rejection of nursing continues or if it occurs in connection with other signs of illness, speak to his doctor.

Baby Massage Techniques

There are a number of reasons why you should consider laying the hands on your baby. We know that being helped, hugged and kissed by a parent helps a baby thrive and enhances parent-child bonding. But the therapeutic touch of massage may do that and even more, possibly strengthening the immune system; improving muscle development; stimulating growth; easing colic, teething pain and tummy troubles; promoting better sleep patterns; stimulating the circulatory and respiratory systems; and decreasing stress hormones (yes, babies have those too). And a loving touch (whether in the form of massage or just a lot of hugging and holding) has also been shown to decrease aggressive tendencies in children. What’s more, baby’s not the only one who stands to benefits; massaging an infant is actually relaxing for parents, too – and has been found to relieve symptoms of postnatal depressions.
If you’d like to learn how to rub your baby, get a book or video, or take a class with a massage therapist familiar with baby massage. Or try these tips:

• Pick a time that’s relaxing for you. The massage won’t have the desired effect if the phone’s ringing, dinner’s burning on the stove, and you have two loads of laundry going. Choose a time when you’re unhurried and unlikely to be interrupted, and take the phone off the book or turn off the ringer and let voice mail or the answer phone take a message (a ringing phone – even one answered by machine – is distracting).
• Pick a time that’s relaxing for baby. Don’t massage baby when he’s hungry or full. Right after a bath is a perfect time when baby has already started to relax (unless he hates the bath and it leaves him riled). Before playtime is another possibility, since babies have been shown to be more focused and attentive after a massage.
• Set a relaxing scene. The room you select for a massage should be quiet and warm, at least 24 degree C (75 degree F) (since baby will be undressed except for a nappy). Dim the lights to reduce stimulation and enhance relaxation, and add soft music if you like. You can sit on the floor or bed, and lay baby on your lap or between your open legs; use a towel, blanket or pillow covered by a towel or blanket under baby.
• Lubricate, if you like. You can give your baby a dry rub, or use a little baby oil, vegetable oil or baby lotion (but not on baby’s head). Warm the oil or lotion a little between your hands before you start rubbing.
• Experiment with techniques. In general, babies prefer a gentle touch – but not so light that it’s ticklish. Here are a few ideas to get you started:

1. Gently place both of your hands on either side of your baby’s head and hold for a few seconds. Then stroke the side of his face, continuing down the sides of his body to his toes.
2. Make tiny circles on baby’s head with your fingers. Smooth baby’s forehead by gently pressing both hands from centre outwards.
3. Stroke baby’s chest from the centre outwards.
4. Stroke baby’s tummy from top to bottom using the outer edge of one hand, then the other, in a circular motion. Then, let your fingers do the walking across your baby’s tummy.
5. Gently roll baby’s arms and legs between your hands or use firmer, deep strokes to ‘milk’ baby’s arms and legs. Open those curled-up hands and massage those little fingers.
6. Rub baby’s legs up and down, alternating hands. When you get down to the feet, massage them, uncurling and stroking baby’s toes.
7. Turn baby on his tummy, and stroke his back from side to side, then up and down.

While you work, talk or sing softly. Always keep one hands on baby.

• Take your cues from baby. He will tell you whether you’re rubbing him the right way or not. He’ll also tell you when to keep rubbing, and when it’s time to end the massage sessions.

Sex can be hard to get right at the best of times, let alone when you are trying to conceive. If sex has become a chore and you now refer to your romantic romps as ovulation opportunities, read these tips and advice to make your under-the-sheets time fun and stress-free.

How to get pregnant fast

1. Take a day off Although having sex when you or your partner is ovulating is important when you are trying to conceive, chances are you won’t enjoy sex if you have to do it constantly. Taking a break, whether it’s for one day or one month, can give you both the space and time you need so that when you have sex again the excitement and passion you once shared will return. However, although women should take a break from sex, they shouldn’t take a break from being around babies. Researchers have found that visiting friends who have recently become mums is one of the strongest natural aphrodisiacs. Within the study those women who smelled maternity bra pads from breastfeeding women reported a dramatic increase in sexual desire and sexual fantasies. Best book a visit to the maternity ward ladies!
2. Stick to your routine The best way to make sex stress-free and enjoyable when you are trying to conceive is to try to stick to your old routine. If you had a great sex life before you tried to make a baby, then try to recapture those fun times by having sex at the same time you used to, in the same places and in the same positions. The more familiar the sex becomes, the more you will relax into the moment and you may even forget the reason you are jumping into bed with one another (especially if you don’t mention it!). However, if you and your partner didn’t enjoy sex before you began trying to make a baby it’s about time you mixed it up a little. Talk openly about what you both want. Do they have any fantasies they want to act out? Do you both want to try out some new lingerie or outfits? Discuss your needs and experiment with new positions until you find something that works for you both.
3. Work the five senses Just because you’re trying to conceive does not mean that you should not put effort to making sex great for you and your partner. To make sure you have incredible sex whilst trying to make a baby, target the five senses: sight, smell, touch, taste and sound. To stimulate all five you should put on some romantic music, light a vanilla candle (the vanilla scent increases guys’ sex drives), feed each other libido-boosting foods like strawberries, wear some hot lingerie and then have a roll-around on silk sheets. You can also heighten the experience with a blindfold.
4. De-stress Stress is the all-time number one reason for having bad sex. Cortisol, the stress hormone, makes you want sex less and makes it harder for you to be turned on. To combat the effects of stress, try to relax before you get under the covers. Take a long bath together, or have a steamy shower. Light scented lavender candles and let all of the day’s worries drift away from you. If you have time, give each other a massage as this will help you both get comfortable with one another and it will help you de-stress. Exercising can also reduce your levels of stress and will help you relax when you’re trying to conceive. If you can, book a night away in a hotel. You won’t have any of the pressures of home around you, no chores to do, just time to relax together and have that all-important lie in.
5. Be loving Remember why you are with the other person and why you want to have a baby together. Sometimes when you are trying to conceive it can be easy to lose sight of your feelings for one another and sex can become something you tick off your to-do list rather than it being an act of love. To get back to enjoying sex, surprise your partner with a gift or a card and tell them that you love them. You should also make sure you have lots of hugs and skin-to-skin contact. Researcher, Dr Michel Odent, explains that we all need oxytocin to get sexually aroused. We receive increased levels of oxytocin when we have skin-to-skin contact with our partners. Next time you and your guy or girl are watching a film, remember to snuggle up to them, who knows where it could lead?

Fussy eating among young children is very common, but ending bad food habits in their tracks can be tiring and difficult. As you will be well aware, trying to make your child eat foods they don’t like is near to impossible. So we’ve put together some useful foodie tips which will help you ease the stress levels of dinnertime and keep your child on the correct path to healthy eating.

Feed a Picky Eater

1. Be a patient parent Patience is certainly a virtue when it comes to teaching your little ones good food habits. Fussing around your child at the dinner table will only make their habits worse as it draws attention to them. They are learning a new behaviour which can take time, especially if they have already slipped into a fussy food rut. So why not set a patient parent example and eat your own food quietly? This will help your child realise they will not receive any attention for complaining and that it’s not only them at the dinner table. Your child will eventually get bored of seeking attention and start to eat the food they are given, which is exactly what you are aiming for. Praise the positive, don’t just point out what they’re doing wrong.
2. Explore new foods with your child Exploration is a must when it comes to food and will further help your children recognise different kinds of food and flavours. It’s the same strategy with all areas of children’s lives, for example, crawling is a way of exploring, so apply this strategy to their food. If all you feed them is salty or fried foods then this is what your child will always expect. Children become familiar with food repetition making it easy to dismiss foods they are unfamiliar with, so incorporate variety from an early age. Try introducing certain phrases which can help distinguish between being fussy and disliking certain food types. Try swapping ‘yuck’ with ‘no thank you’ – food habits and manners can go hand in hand so watch out for the food etiquette. For very small ones, try involving a favourite doll or toy in the meal. Sit the toy at the table and ‘feed’ them some of the problem food. If the toy says ‘yum’ and rubs it’s tummy, your child may follow suit.
3. Cook with your child Getting your children involved in cookery is a great way to introduce a new insight into food. At a young age children love to be involved and will happily help out in the kitchen. If they feel they have contributed to the meal they will take great pride serving the meal and also eating what they have helped cook. This is a fantastic way to help them interact with ingredients, and through being involved their uncertainties of certain foods will diminish. You can also try taste tests away from meal times so your child feels no added pressure to clear his or her plate at the dinner table. For example, you might find they prefer raw carrots to cooked carrots – but try not to make too many changes to suit their tastes – they have to learn they don’t get everything the way they want!
4. Don’t bribe your child One of the worst ways to encourage your child to eat food they fuss over is through bribery. Promising them a sweet treat if they finish what is on their plate instills a fixation on being rewarded for eating their meal, which isn’t something you want to promote as eating a balanced diet is a necessity not an achievement. Rewarding your child for eating their meal may also suggest that whatever is on the plate is an unpleasant food, which can only aid your child’s fussy eating habits. If you do choose to reward your child with sweet treats they could also develop a sweet tooth and become reliant on what should be an occasional treat.
5. Don’t hide the veg from your child Hiding vegetables or disguising them purposely in sauces will hide the true taste and sight of them, which could suggest to your child that they have a bad taste. While it is important to ensure your child is receiving the right amount of nutrients from their diet, it shouldn’t be done through deceit. Instead, try being creative with their food and use vegetables, pasta and meat to create a smiley face on their plate or simply present the food nicely to make the meal look more appealing as a whole.

We all want to be the best we can be, especially when it comes to being a mum, but sometimes it can seem like an impossibly tricky task. Here we have 10 top tips that will help you become the best mum you can be:

How to Be a Good Mother

1. Ways to be a great mum: Say no It’s not just your little ones you need to say no to sometimes. great mums are also able to say no to relatives, friends or other pushy parents who suck up their time and make them unhappy. Practise turning people down who are a drain on your time and resources; you’ll soon realise that if people care about you and your family, they will understand why you are telling them no and will not feel let down.
2. Ways to be a great mum: Create an activity list Great mums are always prepared. There is nothing worse than a bored child on a rainy day, so whenever you get a spare moment, make a top 10 list of activities that you and your child would enjoy. Some fun ideas to help you get started include: baking and decorating cookies, making your own water slide or playing with washable street paint or chalk on your driveway.
3. Ways to be a great mum: Let your kids find their feet We all know that a big part of growing up is making our own mistakes and dealing with the consequences. Although missing the last bus home or getting a detention seemed like a tragedy at the time, we learnt from those mistakes and it helped us become more independent. To help your child find their feet let them take on a few responsibilities. Depending on their age, they can brush their own teeth, choose their own clothes or catch a bus home. This will help your son or daughter develop and it will also give you more time; just be prepared to help them out when it goes a little wrong.
4. Ways to be a great mum: Ask for help If you are beginning to get rather frazzled and the slightest thing makes you furious, be a great mum and ask for some help. If there are no family or friends who can lend a hand, hire a sitter, even if it’s just for an hour whilst you run your errands. Being a great mum doesn’t mean you have to be on duty every waking hour. Everyone needs some downtime – even you. Being a great mum means making good choices to benefit your whole family, so don’t see it as a failure by asking for help.
5. Ways to be a great mum: Enjoy yourself Fed up of picking up socks, fishing out lost toys from behind the couch and funnelling food into your growing kids? When great mums get fed up they take their kids out and have some fun. If you want to be a great mum, the next time you get fed up take a break with your kids and go out for a water fight, a bike ride or stay in and make a collage together – in short, remind yourself what it’s really all about.
6. Ways to be a great mum: Listen Kids often feel like they don’t have a voice, especially those with siblings, so taking the time to listen to them can bring you closer and empower your child. Ask them how their day at school went or what they played at their friend’s house. When they talk to you, really listen and engage with what they tell you – it will help them feel important. Also when your child complains about something, don’t just cut them off and tell them to do as they are told. Instead, ask your son or daughter why they are acting in this way; you might just discover a hidden fear or worry that you can help them with.
7. Ways to be a great mum: Accept you’re not Mary Poppins We all hate that well-dressed mum who bakes the best cakes, holds down a first-class career and has the time to hand-stitch their daughter’s incredible costume for the school play. However, if you want to be a great mum you have to remember that no-one is perfect and Mary Poppins is fictional! We all make mistakes so don’t be hard on yourself when something goes wrong – it’s what makes you human.
8. Ways to be a great mum: Discipline No one likes the ‘D word’, but discipline is a huge part of parenting. To be the best mum possible you need to set some clear rules and stick to them. Those mums who strive to be their child’s friend may struggle with their child’s behaviour later on, when the line between friendship and parenting becomes blurred. Remember, just because you are firm with your child doesn’t mean you are being mean and you should not feel guilty.
9. Ways to be a great mum: Trust your instinct Success Coach Saundra Pelletier says that women need to trust their intuition when it comes to raising their children. You know your child and you know what will work and what won’t. Although you need to be open-minded to advice and tips, trust your instinct when you are making key decisions about your child’s upbringing and go with it. You’ll find that your confidence and sense of control will receive a healthy boost.
10. Ways to be a great mum: Be happy This is by far the hardest thing to achieve as you cannot force or fake happiness, but if you want to be a great mum you need to try to work out a way to be happy because a happy mum equals happy kids. If you’re not feeling particularly happy try to work out why. Do you miss work, are you unhappy in a relationship or do you feel unfulfilled? Targeting why you may be a little down is the first stage to finding a solution.