Bamboo Nation

Channing Tatum: Shirtless Again!

2009-07-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

You know how much I love Channing Tatum, so it will come as no surprise to you that the new issue of GQ, which features Channing on the cover and a photo spread inside, has already been abused by me so many times that it might try to run away and seek solace in a police station or a shelter and require therapy in order to recover. Anyway, when the magazine appeared on my doorstep, I started to panic. On the cover, Channing is looking very handsome in a shirt and tie, but I was worried that GQ wouldn't have any half-naked photos. But I opened up the magazine and I instantly remembered that he like being in various states of undress. Click photos to engorge, er, I mean, enlarge (what is be bouncing that ball off of?!):

"Jennifer's Body"--Why Not Adam's?

2009-07-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

Have you seen the new red-band trailer for Jennifer's Body, written by Diablo Cody? It's pretty awesome (way naughtier and way better than the regular trailer that's been playing in theaters). Watch (not safe for work?):

Diablo informs me that hot Adam Brody, who appears in eyeliner, does not bare his ass. (I ask these things for your benefit, not mine.) What a waste.

The Price of Cigarettes: More Than 23 Quadrillion Dollars

2009-07-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

Read "Man Charged 23 Quadrillion Bucks For Pack Of Cigarettes" from The Huffington Post.

Six Underwear Models and a Camera; Plus, "Gay" Underwear Becomes Mainstream

2009-07-16T06:00:00.000-07:00

I wrote a new post for The Bilerico Project.

Read "Six Underwear Models and a Camera; Plus, 'Gay' Underwear Becomes Mainstream."

Bunny Walks Like a Human

2009-07-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

The title of this post is self-explanatory. So are the lengths this bunny will go for a little treat. Watch:

The Politics of Comedy: What's Off Limits?; Plus, "The Goods" Wants You to Laugh at a Hate Crime

2009-07-15T09:54:00.000-07:00

I wrote a new post for The Bilerico Project.

Read "The Politics of Comedy: What's Off Limits?; Plus, 'The Goods' Wants You to Laugh at a Hate Crime."

Ass Intruders

2009-07-14T23:01:00.000-07:00

Because of the sheer force of my whoreish magnetism, I was recently tasked with writing a commercial for Fox Searchlight, a TV spot that will air nationally in order to promote one of the studio's upcoming releases. (I'm not sure exactly what I can or cannot talk about yet—if you know anything about studio lawyers, you know that they will find myriad reasons to climb up your ass and park there to make sure you never forget who holds the power.)

I was at the commercial shoot all day today, but, unfortunately, not in the capacity of a writer on set, which would've given me permission to run around demanding my ad copy be spoken exactly the way I wanted it to be spoken. ("You're ruining by brilliant words!")

Instead, I was responsible for crafts service, which basically meant buying a lot of food that I personally liked and everybody else be damned. Okay, not really. I know how to treat a crew—try to force-feed them yummy snacks and beverages the way an Asian mother rides her kids about food.

More details to come—once I manage to evict the lawyers from my rear.

"Bruno": Fight! Fight! Fight!

2009-07-13T06:00:00.000-07:00

I cross-posted my commentary about Bruno over at The Bilerico Project because I suspected it would generate some lively debate. And I was right. Follow the comments thread for some enlightening and sometimes fierce discussion.

Read the post and comments for "Love It or Hate It, 'Bruno' Will Probably Be the Highest-Grossing 'Gay' Movie of All Time; Plus, What Do YOU Think of 'Bruno'?"

Bruno: Gayer Than the Average Gay

2009-07-11T08:58:00.000-07:00

Perhaps you've read some of the wildly mixed reviews for Bruno, but I assure you that a comedy like this one cannot be considered objectively. I understand that many people may not find Sacha Baron Cohen's super obnoxious and super gay Austrian fashion reporter very funny, but I'm certain that just as many people are like me and think that he's hilarious and that Cohen is a comic genius without peer. (Basically, you know if you'll enjoy this movie or not.)

Bruno is one of the funniest films I have seen in a long time. There's a scene in which Cohen mimes a long, involved, graphic oral sex scene with the supposed ghost of Rob Pilatus of Milli Vanilli fame—performed in front of a clueless psychic reader—that had me convulsing with laughter and made uncontrollable tears stream from my eyes. Make no mistake: almost everything in this movie is in bad taste.

As you probably know, Cohen and crew dupe people around the world into thinking that Bruno and his frequently offensive antics are real—he convinces Paula Abdul to use the back of a Mexican gardener as a chair; he traps former presidential candidate Ron Paul in a hotel room and tries to seduce the congressmen with a striptease; he convinces a talk-show audience that he adopted an African baby by swapping an iPod for it; etc. There are some questions, of course, about how many of the "victims" were in on the joke, but there are enough genuine reactions—enough "there's no way this could be fake" moments—that this particular controversy doesn't matter.

But that's not the only controversy to deal with here, of course. You're probably aware that Bruno has been creating quite a bit of stir in the gay community. The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, according to the Associated Press, declares that "the movie was a well-intentioned series of sketches—some hit the mark and some hit the gay community pretty hard and reinforce some damaging, hurtful stereotypes." Universal Pictures, which released the film, counters that the film "uses provocative comedy to powerfully shed light on the absurdity of many kinds of intolerance and ignorance, including homophobia."

So...which is it?

Could it be...neither?

The biggest question surrounding Bruno over the last few weeks is whether or not people will be laughing with us or at us. But I'm pretty sure you know that answer before going into the movie simply because Bruno doesn't reveal anything you're not already aware of. Some people don't like gays—Bruno's not breaking any new ground here. As to whether or not he reinforces hurtful stereotypes, it could be argued that Cohen's shtick is so over-the-top, so absurd, and so much the point of the entire movie that it's actually less damaging than more subtle, less noticeable forms of cinematic stereotyping and homophobia—the one-dimensional gay sidekick that's nothing more than a series of witty quips, the casual use of the word "fag" in teen comedies, etc.

Would I go as far to agree with Universal to say that the film is a tool to deal with important social issues and that Cohen's intentions were "pure?" No fucking way.

Cohen is a comedian, a provocateur, and he's after big laughs, and he will do anything to get them. As you know, I am the type of person to shock rather than be shocked, but I can honestly say that I was floored by how far Cohen goes in this movie. The graphic sex scenes (partially blurred out to preserve an "R" rating), involving dildos, a champagne bottle, and a brazenly aggressive swingers-party dominatrix, made even my jaw drop.

And it's hard not to admire Cohen's apparent fearlessness: he travels to the Middle East to organize peace talks between Israeli and Palestinian representatives, only to fall into a ridiculous discussion about "hummus" rather than "Hamas"; he interviews a purported Arab terrorist and tells him Osama bin Laden "looks like a dirty wizard or a homeless Santa Claus"; he swishes his way around a military boot camp; and, in the film's climax, he has a hot make-out session with another man in front of a venue full of angry straight people who thought they were there to see a cage match.

The film, like Cohen's similarly staged Borat, is primarily a comedy of manners more than anything else. Neither movie (no matter what the studios claim) is intended to be a political statement about homophobia or, in the case of Borat, xenophobia—politics just happen to be the (unfortunate?) byproduct of Cohen's exercises in exploding pedestrian social mores. How much will people tolerate behavior that deviates from perceived norms? How will people react in situations that you could never imagine in your sickest dreams? The fact that Borat is a "foreigner" and that Bruno is a homosexual is a gimmick, a comedian's device to get from point A (set-up) to point B (punchline).

Sorry, gay community, Bruno does not reveal hidden, surprising, intolerant depths in the heart of straight people, and the movie does nothing to advance the LGBT movement. But, sorry, religious right, it doesn't set gay America back years either.

It's entertainment.

"Fruit Fly" Buzzes and Sings [Outfest 2009]

2009-07-10T13:13:00.000-07:00

I wrote a new post for The Bilerico Project.

Read "'Fruit Fly' Buzzes and Sings [Outfest 2009]."

"The Hurt Locker" Hurts So Good

2009-07-09T15:00:00.000-07:00

For those of you who walked away from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen feeling like you had just been date raped and swearing that you'd never watch another action movie ever again, I urge you to reconsider because The Hurt Locker, an Iraq war thriller that will get your adrenaline pumping and your brain stimulated, is playing at a theater near you (if you live in a major city—sorry, North Carolina, you'll have to keep yourself occupied at the gun show).

Mark Boal and Kathryn Bigelow's The Hurt Locker smartly eschews political debate (Iraq war movies have famously tanked) and instead chooses to plop audiences right in the middle of the action by following an Army bomb squad stationed in Baghdad in 2004. The bomb diffusion scenes are suspenseful and the gun battles are intense, but I especially liked the film's attention to detail—blood being cleaned off of bullets to keep them from jamming, soldiers having to ignore pesky flies in the face while in the middle of rifle fight, etc.

The three central characters are very much types—the unhinged and recklessly fearless squad leader and bomb expert (Jeremy Renner), the courageous by-the-book second-in-command (Anthony Mackie), and the twitchy and fragile specialist (Brian Geraghty)—but how they interact with each other and how their relationships play out, sometimes in the heat of battle, reveal hidden depths.

You may have heard about the great cameo appearances by Guy Pearce and Ralph Fiennes, but Jeremy Renner delivers a star-making performance as a man addicted to danger. It's when he's closest to death that he feels the most alive.

By the way, Jeremy Renner is super hot. Just thought you might like to know. (A guy so nice I spanked it twice.)

In Oder Aus

2009-07-09T11:29:00.000-07:00

Most of you know that I cannot wait to see Bruno (I was a big fan during his days on Da Ali G Show) and I've had to satiate my anticipation by visiting the hilarious Bruno MySpace page over and over again. (Turn up the sound and groove to the quintessentially gay techno beat of "In Oder Aus.") I want to see the movie even more now because Bruno creator Sacha Baron Cohen shocked the world the other night when he appeared on the David Letterman show...as himself! (This is the man who would only show up as Borat on the talk-show circuit when that feature was released a couple years ago.) Anyway, Cohen (who is incidentally way easy on the eyes) chats about how he tried to land Bruno an interview with a real-life terrorist. Watch:

Hiding Pills in Brownies; or: Combating Homophobia in California's Heartland (Finally)

2009-07-08T10:42:00.001-07:00

I wrote a new post for The Bilerico Project.

Read "Hiding Pills in Brownies; or: Combating Homophobia in California's Heartland (Finally)."

Michael Phelps Munches on a Long, Juicy Thing

2009-07-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

There's a new Subway sandwich commercial starring Michael Phelps (which suggestively declares, "Thank you for letting me be myself!")...

...which totally reminds me that I haven't posted a random picture of the Olympic hottie in a very long time.

That is all. Thank you for visiting.

Mike Valentino Rises From the Ashes Like a Queer Phoenix

2009-07-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

Remember Mike Valentino, that hot North Carolina blogger who quickly became my BFF after we sexually harassed each other online while you, dear readers, witnessed the virtual man-on-man action? (You can trace the evolution of our relationship here.)

Well, a few months ago, he stopped writing, yanked his genuinely funny and smart blog from public view, pretty much dropped the off the face of the earth, and quit responding to my naked-picture texts. (Yes, I have his number.)

After some people, including his wife, beat some sense into him, he has launched a new blog under his real name, Michael DeAntonio, and it's off to a great start. (He has so far objectified Iranian women and weighed in on Michael Jackson.)

I like to think that I had everything to do with it. After all, he started posting again shortly after I alerted him to this terrific quote from choreographer Martha Graham:

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and, because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others.

Basically, what she's saying to all artists is: If you are an artist, you must create art. It's not fucking up to you to decide, bitches!

Visit Mike DeAntonio's new blog, Mike the Bull.

Laughing Thai Policeman

2009-07-07T09:00:00.000-07:00

Remember the bizarre movement called "laughter yoga?" Well, I just found out that traffic cops in Bangkok, Thailand, took part in a program that forced laughter onto them for their mental and physical health. I'm not knocking it, but there is something absurd about watching a room full of Thai policemen artificially causing themselves to belly laugh. Watch:

Smell My Finger

2009-07-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

Dear readers, I know you think I have my finger on the pulse of the viral video universe, but my finger is actually somewhere else. (Don't you know me well enough by now?)

So keep sending me those funny videos, cute animal clips, etc., that you suspect I might enjoy, even if you think, "There's no way Prince hasn't seen this yet." I may very well haven't, and I may very well want to share it with the world. And sharing...is caring. And I care. I care the fuck out of the world.

So e-mail me or submit (anonymously if you want!) by hitting the contact button in the sidebar of this blog. Thanks for helping me make Bamboo Nation a better blog!

Same-Sex Shenanigans Performed by Nearly ALL Animals

2009-07-06T12:00:00.000-07:00

Did you know that The Bilerico Project, the site I regularly contribute to, was named as a "must-read" blog by The Washington Post? And The Advocate just called it a "top political blog?" That's excellent! It makes me come across as highly intelligent and concerned about social issues! It makes me more deceptive than the Decepticons!

Well, I just wrote a new post for The Bilerico Project.

Read "Same-Sex Shenanigans Performed by Nearly ALL Animals."

Attack on the Indie Flick

2009-07-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

This bitingly perceptive "ode to every indie movie" takes aim at Sundance bait—with a certain studio known unto us taking the brunt of the good-natured (?) ridicule. Watch:

[Courtesy of Gabriel Fleming.]

Sarah Crazypants Palin Boils My Blood; Plus, Levi Johnston Boils My Blood Too, Only in a Different Part of My Body

2009-07-06T06:00:00.001-07:00

I don't typically wish ill-will upon anyone, but Sarah Crazypants Palin ignites my latent need to deride, insult, and throw up in my hands. And she provided so much fodder this past holiday weekend—she announced her resignation from her position of governor of Alaska in a rambling speech that only a nutty aunt could match; her attorney threatened to sue The Huffington Post, MSNBC, The New York Times, and The Washington Post for libel; and she posted a defensive message on her Facebook page that was supposed to justify the fact that she's a—there's no other word for it—quitter.

And Palin's spokesperson is as nonsensical and evasive ("the world is literally her oyster!") as she is, as demonstrated by the spokesperson's appearance on Anderson Cooper's show. Watch Cooper's eyes start to glaze over and then watch him scratch his head in WTF?! confusion at the 4:30 mark:

Oh, and how I'm looking forward to hottie Levi Johnston's tell-all tome about the Palins, if anyone will publish it. But I'll settle for him running around shirtless on a movie set. (The New York Post reports that he wants to be in pictures.)

Yes, I know, I know, Levi still needs a lot of work. According to a fantastically informative feature in GQ:

Levi was mostly monosyllabic at that first lunch. He didn’t know me yet, and he didn’t trust me yet, and really, even when he came to know and trust me, he was still mostly monosyllabic, but the syllables took on greater depth.

And:

[Levi's manager] is working to contain and reduce in frequency Levi's homophobic outbursts, instituting a new philosophy of "versatility."

Just put him in a room with me for five minutes! I'll show him versatility!

"Web Site Story"

2009-07-03T10:08:00.000-07:00

Dear readers, as you may have noticed, posting has been rather light this week (making Ryan Reynolds photo collages are a big time suck), but I'll be back in full swing on Monday. In the meantime, enjoy your holiday weekend and take delight in "Web Site Story," CollegeHumor's witty and well-made parody of the iconic musical. Watch:

Piracy! Bad!

2009-07-02T10:17:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure you've seen those unintentionally ridiculous anti-piracy ads aimed at teens that played before movies on some DVDs. Well, the British sitcom, The IT Crowd, has created a commercial parody that gives the original a much-deserved spank on the ass. Watch:

Reporter Bitch-Slaps Man on the Street

2009-07-01T09:05:00.000-07:00

Look, you can't do proper man-on-the-street interviews when there's a drunk guy in the way. So smack him! (I love the looks of faint horror on the anchorwomen after the offending slap. Ha ha ha ha ha!) Watch:

[Courtesy of Will Blank.]

The Case of the Missing Dumplings

2009-06-29T11:05:00.000-07:00

A girl secretly videotapes her older sister, who freaks out over eaten dumplings and unleashes a verbal attack unlike the world has ever seen (at least when it comes to dumplings). It's understandable though because "it doesn't come with 18; it comes with six!" Watch:

Obligatory Michael Jackson Post

2009-06-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

You've surely heard. And the tributes continue. For my money, "Smooth Criminal" is the phattest of them all. Oh, how liberated I feel when I strut down the street, asking in all seriousness, "Annie, are you okay? So Annie are you okay? Are you okay, Annie?" Watch:

What's your favorite Michael Jackson song and why?