Princess Peiyi

Disturbing post

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 08:48:30 PDT

We have yet to start with the actual structure of the building, and an accident happened at the site. I was pretty worried because it was my first day to step on the pile cap, and the next moment the supervisor of the team fell of the pile cap in the evening. It was scary, because blood gushed out from his head. I am thinking how long I will stay in this industry. Danger is indeed everywhere around me.

Sighz.

Then again, the emotional side of me is exposed again. I wonder if any of you who reads my blog really cares about me. I think I will change to a new blog soon, once I have the time to. Simply because people who really cares doesn't read my blog. I do know some times in life, when you gain something, you will lose something. I have been portrayed as a petty, fussy, grumpy personality, and isn't this what all already knew? At least I have been a true friend, some one who is always there when you need help. How many times have I rejected to help? How many times have I offered more help than one even needs? I find it confused, because sometimes when I treat one well, all I expect is for that someone to treat me a a good friend, without any returns of favour. Yet.... sighz. When I told Dylan about it, I got real upset. But I kinda slapped myself and welcome myself to reality-- you will outgrow some friendship, somehow.

But I do hope something good comes out between Dylan and I. For those who are curious to know who Dylan is, he finally got a Facebook account last night. HEHE! I shall shamelessly tag myself on his photos, and label me as THE GIRLFRIEND. How about that?

On Makeup

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 21:50:31 PDT

Now I finally understood why when H met up with me her eyes were covered with "BRILLIANT" colors. I meant brilliant, because there were shades of blue, green and I thought looks very odd on sunny days, girls' day out. So, she is a fan of Xteener. If you still do not know who Xteener is, you got to check out on Youtube. A great makeup guru on Youtube. However, I do think her makeup is more suitable for parties, studio, but definitely not shopping (think hot sunny weather when makeup starts to melt a little and streaks of blue colors or purple looks odd on faces of Asians) Her vids are great though!

Meeting Fat Boy later. HEHE!

How can one find true love?

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 08:36:14 PDT

I was talking to an old friend of mine who just got attached recently after two years of singlehood. The guy she was dating seemed like a really nice guy, and of course, I am really she is dating someone now.

But at the back of my head, I wonder, if it is a wise choice to date a nice guy.

It really bothers me, because in the past, I really hope to end up with a nice guy. Not that Dylan is a bad guy, but I mean a Mr Nice Guy that I hope I can date. But it turned out the previous relationship was a flop, I am very much over and done with the delusion.

I realise for some reasons, guys' brains are nearly modified to think in the same way. No matter if he is a nice guy or a bad guy. I don't wish to use the B word here to describe the male counterpart, but if girls, if you have dated more than twice, you will definitely agree with what I say. I am so convinced, with the fact that every guy is a B, and honestly, it doesn't make any difference to me dating a Mr Nice Guy or a bad boy. Sadly, I feel that in one way or another, I have little faith in marriage by now. And all I am praying for is that I will not date a new man, because I am afraid of dating all over again.

Don't be mistaken by the way, there are not major problems in my relationship with Dylan now.

But how can you find true love?

I thought I found mine when I was 18. Then at 23, I sorta gave up hope when I dated the ex. Now, I thought Dylan was great, but is he THE ONE? How can you tell?

The feeling bothers me once in a while, because, while Dylan is the one I look for when I am sad, happy, angry, emo..., I am questioning if he is the perfect guy for me. I feel that a puzzle piece is missing, because I do find my life's a void without a man I call MY OWN. Basically, the term is husband. Yet, I don't feel the urge of settling down, and honestly, even five years from now, to have a husband, have kids... it just feel too weird, too fast for me to take it. How can I ever make that step into marriage?

Somehow, at the back of my head, I have a bad feeling that things will not work out between Dylan and me, because he won't settle down five years later, and by then, I am already 30. I admit I am already seeing the end of this relationship, but I am just praying that if things should happen, it should happen earlier and with tell-tale signs. THe problem is, is he my true love???

On expectations of new job

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 01:19:57 PDT

Ok, the fact is, I am not expecting too much from it. For those who already knew and for the benefit of those who are still not aware of, I am starting my new job after Hari Raya (WHEEE!). The work location is at Jalan Kayu/ Sengkang area and honestly, it should be really convenient for me.

I received a phonecall from my job agent, N, earlier on, and he was advicing me on the dos and don'ts when I am in the job. Apparently, N also recommended another female colleague of mine to the same job (posted to another site). So he was telling me that when he interviewed the girl, she wore no makeup. But when she was posted to the site, she started to put on heaps and loads of makeup on her face. Not only that, she openly criticised a senior engineer for his poor English. As a result, my deputy director was very unplease with her, and told N about it, and N came to advice me regarding these issues.

Isn't the colleague absurb?

Firstly, I admit that I can't live without my makeup. but anyway I always put on minimal makeup unless neccessary (clubbing, going to town). But as I went through the interview, and even before that, I find that when you are working as an engineer and putting excessive makeup, chances are, most guys will treat you like a vase or a bimbo. A lot of times, your work may not be appreciated already, and when you are being treated as brainless, the effort you put in work will be more insignificant. Although reports have claimed that more attractive people are being rewarded more than less attractive people, being overly concerned with your image will only backfire.

So, in fact before receiving that phonecall, I have already decided once I start work, I will chuck all my cosmetic to one side, except essentials such as moisturiser, sunblock and serum. I am going makeup-less, which I doubt will scare anyone away. Yes, even my beloved eyeliners will be gone, although I cannot do without them. It is actually just a matter of habit, of not putting makeup on your face, and I think I will be fine in it.

Then, the criticism part. I can, immediately tell that she is a fresh grad. If you have worked long enough, you won't make such a mistake. In my point of view, she was also being too arrogant. I admit I have a same air of arrogance (in some sense) when I first started work, and gave myself some reality check after some obstacles in my previous work. I can totally understand how this arrogance came about, because you think you are superior because you are a graduate, which is something that A LOT of fresh graduates' mindsets are, sub-conciously. That is also the main reason of the quarrels between my ex and I, because each of us think we are always right.

But of cos, it is difficult, to draw a line between being confident and being arrogant. How do you know if it is over? And when I tried to be less arrogant, I became low in confidence in my previous job. I hope I can learn as time goes by how to exude confidence in my job and not beiong portrayed as arrogant.

Hope my colleague learns her lesson. And best of luck for my work!

(I will still party on Saturday nights. Anyone?)

So I am free now

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 05:00:29 PDT

Kinda, as you might have known by now I am ending my current job with Mr B. Again, he lied to me, and of course, when he made such a promise, I treated those words like crap; and I was right again he once again failed to keep his promise. From the more positive point of view, if I ever become my own boss, I will only make promises when I can fulfil them, and not saying them as and when I want to.

So, enough of all B's nonsense. I am free from him now and I am glad I can finally have a week off before I start my new job.

Woohoo!

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 21:18:13 PDT

My shares are sold FINALLY, which means I made more than 25% from what I have earlier invested. Well done!

That marks the end of contact with the ex, which makes me real elated.

I've also made a couple of investments, and what I can say is, they are growing. I am still comtemplating if I should re-invest in the same stock again, because the company is home-grown, and has all along maintain a positive balance sheet.

But investments make you poor, as in, when you pump in investments, you will end up with little liquid cash, which sucks.

But then again, if I start work, I probably don't need so much cash in hand since the only expenditure for the next few months will probably be solely on transport and food.

Now, Peiyi is feeling slightly richer. Time to pamper myself a bit :)

Change of new website

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:42:16 PDT

Perhaps? I feel like blogger which was once user-friendly, lacks a lot more features such as password protecting. Xanga did the job great, and I loved it, but the lack of storage space back then made me changed to Blogger (now Xanga comes with webspace too). The ease of changing the web design is what I loved most here, but apparently, I am growing sick of doing new designs for my website.

I am already blogging on a newer grounds for Dylan and I, but I am not going to post the addy here for the time being.

Blogger shall remain as a place for my personal posting, more on the emo side perhaps (but ironically, I wanted a happier blog at the start).

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Read on if you are interested in my rantings.

I am so pissed off at the stupig ex-bf. Apparently, I bought some shares with his account before the breakup, and now I have 20 lots of shares stucked in his account. He was MIA since last night, which I thought perhaps I smsed him a lil too late. I smsed him because I wanted him to sell off my shares, which I actually only owned 25% of that 20 lots, the rest belongs to my siblings. Ok, fine, so he didn't reply my sms.

Today, the target price I set for selling the share was hit. So I smsed him again. I bet 100% that he has missed my sms, and has not sell off my shares. Well Done. I hate to keep in touch with him. And it was an opportunity for us to break contact. I hate it when things are still hanging in the air.

So, now, I will have to wait for him blardy sms again, because I found out he has been out in the sea for a while and not able to do any transaction. Speaking of which, that is what I hated most. His accusation against me and all those silly stuffs... I simply regreted dating him. In fact a few days ago, I found a black wallet, which I had almost no recollection of who gave that to me. And realised he was the one who gave me that dumbass wallet on my birthday. Hello? A black, men's styled wallet for me? Are you crazy? When I saw it, I detested myself for loving him. I find it VERY grotesque that I had once fallen for him and if given a chance, I rather not date him at all. Last birthday, we were supposed to be still in love. But he gave me such an unthoughtful present for my birthday. Just so sickening.

So, you see, I really hated that ugly past of mine. Even though Mr M and I broke up (in case you are wondering, M is the ex-ex bf, and H is the ex-bf), I find that it was great that we had dated before(no, I don't ever want to be back in the relationship). As for H, he just totally made me hated that past. So you see, I really want my money back, and break off all connections with him, yet he is still as selfish as he was before. Since he already know that I want to sell off my shares, why don't he just get his brother to monitor the shares for him while he is away? Since he already knew that on Monday, the shares was very close to my target price, shouldn't he do something about it? This is how responsible a Navy Captain is. I'm sorry, no offence to the country's navy, but just that there is this kind of personnel in the Navy making me grossed out and all.

I JUST WANT MY MONEY BACK SOON!

Btw, I gave that wallet to Dylan, and I told him about the story behind the wallet. LOL.

Finally it's done

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 01:39:29 PDT

I have finally completed my website for my Specialist Dip and right now, I am very satisfied with how it turned out.

Unfortunately, I can only show you guys how it looks like if you ask for it, because I didn't upload a copy online., and most important reason, I took the photos from an online blogshop without permission :P

But it was a bold move. I meant to design the website for my company, but later, as B wanted to change a lot of the content, I was too lazy to actually brainstorm the content to fill up the pages. I thought it would be easier for me to design a pseuso-blogshop.

Haha. So I did. I am feeling so happy right now, because it felt like I have really designed a website for my own blogshop (which doesn't exist actually).

Speaking of which, it makes me wanna sell stuffs online again. Hmm, enough of procrastinating.

Wish me luck for my presentationSSSS later. Actually two of them. Meeting HS later becuase she will be leaving for good to USA. TTYL!

Let's just say...

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 10:20:51 PDT

... I'm stuck. Now that there is a job offer for me, which I have yet to sign the appointment letter, I am really wondering if I should give it a go now. It's not a fickle-minded personality in me that is making me kinda thinking, and thinking through, and thinking, but I am seriously afraid that I am just accepting this job because I want to get out of my current job. I know that the offer will promise me higher returns that I want, yet, am I able to leverage myself to that level so that I will be at the stage of getting what I want?

I am also kinda resigned to fate, because even though part of my heart still goes to a 9-to-5, 5-day work week job, I am not at all interested in going through another round of tedious process of sending out resume, waiting for interview response, going for interview.... and rejection/no response/acceptance. The word is just lazy, but should I be lazy to seek for a better offer which may only come in another 2-3 months, or work like a slave for the next few months (perhaps years)? I know once I accept the offer, I can only quit the job in three months. But when I thought of all these crap, I just hate to re-decide, re-think, re-find all over again. Just take it I suppose?

Gosh, I find myself turning into a different person, I am not sure, but I seldom fret over work. Maybe it's the age. Because as I look around me, friends are getting engaged, getting new HDB flat... and even my YOUNGER sister is starting to save up for her wedding. But geez, I am not even ready for all that even though my age rounds up to 30 already. If I am perhaps in my early twenties, I probably wouldn't think I am that far off from the track. But here I am still stuck at the starting point, after two years of working, and nothing is paying off. Is it because I didn't put in enough effort? Or am I just lousy? Should I even be thinking of the rewards at this stage?

FUCK

ah, that feels better (for now).

Mixed Feelings

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:22:41 PDT

Oddly, I wasn't as happy as I thought. Alright, maybe because I am afraid of going into a new environment all over again. Anyway it's more or less confirmed, just waiting to sign the document.

But there are tons of stuffs to give up for now. It makes me real sad. Dar saw my sadness, gave me a tight hug, and my tears flew out uncontrollably. I knew why I cried, because I may never have a chance to continue my pilates and sewing classes again. Probably I could do it next year, but how long will that be? And will I have to re-learn everything from scratch again?

I still want to make my own cheongsum. SIGHZ.

But then again, I see that if I don't get out of the current job, I will be stuck. And 1 or 2 years down the road, even if I succeed in this project of my beloved Uncle, high chance, I will still be a nobody.

Where will I go from there then?

Then again, I have swallowed all my pride and ego to accept this job (I haven't really accepted it officially). I am facing the fact now that the job market is very poor, and there is no way I can re-enter the job market as a two-year exp project engineer. First of all, the experience is pretty limited, and I definitely do not have the calibre to handle a large project. Secondly, if I am going to be trapped in the idea that I have two years experience and do not wish to accept an entry-level pay, chances are, one year from now, I will still have a limited two-year experience, which will still make it very difficult for me to enter the job market, and I still do not have the calibre.

Why no try it all over again? That's what I am going to do.

I no longer wish for a easy job. No work is easy. Yes, I do envious peers making more than $3k a month, when we have had the same amount of education yet being paid differently; and perhaps the work load has been the same all along. But I realised not everyone has the same opportunity, and whatever we have, we should make the best out of it, and work REAL hard for it. But when I looked at it from another perspective, is that peer able to bring him/herself to a higher level? I've seen a peer taking 14 MCs (real and fake) a year, and still holding on to her job, and it is obviously that her boss knows her lousy performances as reflected by her bonus. Should I envy her for her job and her pay? Now, yes maybe for the easy job, not sure in 5 years' time.

And I discovered more things after I talked to Dar over and over again, and I like the fact he really spent time listening to me. He gave me his support, and he was the one who made me understand that the fact that being a Uni graduate I may have been more arrogant than I thought, and didn't want to accept jobs that paid low; he made me understood that I should focus on what I am doing, and not just, for one second think about online sales, and the other second thinking of IT class, and other second thinking of God-knows-what-again; he was the one who made me discover that when we want something, we need to work real hard for it. He is just that wonderful man who has been with me these months, taught me so much, and showered me with love.

As I looked back at how much I have lost, I felt I've gained more now. It's a totally new feeling I am feeling right now, being thankful for where I am at now. (Shit, I sound very christian-y, no offence though!) But I do hope for the best for whatever I choose right now, something good will come out of it, be it love or job.

So, I am going to accept the job, right?

Back to ground zero

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 03:50:12 PDT

Two years working, I found myself stuck at the junction. Unexpected turns in life, and now, what do I want to achieve in my next turn? I question myself so hard, not because I didn't have an answer, but I know in the reality, it's hard to be an engineer for female.

I was not contented in my previous job, but I won't further elaborate why. But right now, I find that based on my experience in previous job, getting a new job is difficult as well.

I can easily let go of my four years engineering studies, and land myself in financial sector (as financial consultant or insurance agent), or the easier way out-- be a teacher. But I know that I will never get the kind of achievement I had in my previous job, when seeing a project completed when it was initially, just a bare piece of land.

But I found myself stuck. Why? I came out to the working society, too unrealistic. I thought I could find an engineering job which was office-bound-- I got my "dream". But sad to say, I learnt minimal I realised, and when I was out of job just last year, I still had this unrealistic wish.

Now I no longer have that wish. Because, even though I haven't been keeping a lookout for jobs from March till June, before March and after June, the jobs more or less required site work.

And I have no experience in site work.

Now, it really bothers me. That means if I am going to chose to become an engineer again, a REAL engineer, not a engineer working in the office, it means I am back to ground zero!

Here's the thing. Working on site = 6 days work week + low pay + long hours + hot sun + all kinds of male species. I am not very ok with 6 days work week, I am ok with the rest as of NOW, but not sure if that will be a problem in months to go. So there is a huge uncertainty again.

However, working on this job = work on site = gain more exposure = learn more = gain more = $$$$ in years to come! Just visit JobsDB and you will believe what I mean. A three-year working experience project engineer can earn $3.5k per month, and for those who didn't know, it will translate to $3k times 14 months (at least) usually, because construction company often will give bonuses, rather than high fixed pay. If one were to become a safety officer, the minimum pay is $4k now for someone with 3-5 years experience.

Of cos, working in financial sector like many others seems more prestigious, and definitely earning more than $3k a month. Damn, it's tempting, but do I want to be stuck in office? I doubt I want to. How much can one earn in 10 years down the road? I think it is better off to be an engineer. (Known to have a steep salary increment)

Then back to ground zero again, I have to settle for a low paying job, in exchange for higher returns, and all thanks to economic crisis, the job market shrunk so badly and pay-wise it is low.. But when I look at my project engineer friend, she can't even do some basic calculation because she has never worked on a real project before (I question at what she is doing, but oh well).

Should I have entered this field two years ago? No, if not I will never learn how realistic the society is. Even if it's your uncle, you are just an employee to him.

But do I want six-day work week?! ARGH! That is annoying!

I am seeing the end of it already.

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 08:55:36 PDT

Hoping it's just one of those emo nights.

Oh, by the way, Happy National Day to all.

And Happy Birthday Hanshuo :)

KNNBCCB

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:19:59 PDT

Excuse me for scolding that whole string of alphabets. Vularities intended, but omit the actually meaning represented by the initials. Oh well. Anyway, I got very very pissed off by my current so-called boss, let's just call B. I seriously hate office politics and speaking of bad things behind B's back, was definitely a big no-no to me, but now, it really hits me that I am SUFFERING in this current job.

Firstly when I first join the company, B claimed that he "doesn't care about the working hours", as long as I get my work done. Mind you, the words are quoted from him, and after working like a month or so, I realised he indeed mind about the time that we arrive at the centre. Whenever I reach like 11+am, he will say that I am late, because he really wants me to come at 10am. But I mean if he meant for me to come at 10am, why didn't he say that before I commence work on the first day?

Nevermind about, I can understand where he is coming from, so I will reach at 10am. But guess what, he will reach at 12nn, and days like today, he reached like 1pm. The worst role model isn't it? And for many a time, I have nothing to do at work, all because he came to work in the least prepared manner, forgetting this and that. Just this Sunday, I had to do so called "overtime", not because I did not complete my work during the weekdays, but because I had to complete the tasks he had forgotten to do during the weekdays.

I get quite angry as well when he forgets about my salary and I had to constantly remind him. I mean, that is what every employee is working for, if not for the job satisfaction, and that is especially true for me in this current job. It feels like to me that I owe him something everytime I ask him for my monthly salary.

Then what got me so angry this time? I think as a employee, when you work hard, it is a natural instinct that you hope that your boss can recognise your effort, in the simplest way. It doesn't mean that the boss needs to praise you each time you complete your work, but maybe just a "Thank you" will be nice, even though it is part of your job scope. However today, it slipped my mind to order the toner for him, and when he realised that I had forgotten all about it, he had like an uncontrollable outburst of rage and said "why you all (refering to me and my colleague) ALWAYS do things like this?!?!?!" Wah lao! I was damn f***ing pissed off!

Firstly, I do not ALWAYS do things like this. In fact, each time when I am entasked a one-week task, I can always finish it within hours. How can he claim that I am ALWAYS underperforming below his expectations?

Secondly, SIR, I am underpaid, in terms of jobscope, my qualifications, in other words, every aspect. But as an employee, I am putting 100% of my effort each time I do your work, and I assure you, you can never find a replacement who can efficiently do all your job. For this pay, at most you can employ a diploma-graduate, but I took up the job because of all your (empty) promises. The fact that initially it was meant to be a part-time job. Yet I gave in my full-time commitment and now, you are secretly turning my job into a full-time job. Ok, I am not even complaining when you asked me to come everyday during the June Holidays, yet getting such a low pay already, you are expecting me to work everyday, when the initial plan was for me to work three days a week, and then expecting to be at your beck and call (with domineering emphasis). Can you promise me a pay of even $5k a month in 5 years time? I hardly think so.

So what are the benefits I get in this job? I hardly think there is any anymore, besides the laptop and the course that I am taking. Each and everytime I needed to settle some stuffs so asked for a off-day, B will say things like "You all ar, treat this like a CCA..." A normal job will give a 14-day annual leave, and in my previous job it was already very bad, this one, is the worst of all. Not that he doesn't allow me to take off, but he will be nagging away, and later ask me to come back to work on Sunday, which happened. And during the holidays, when the two of us came almost everyday for three weeks, he gave us a so-called "paid leave" for a week, which equates to almost nothing. Geez, what a good economist. He has already calculated all this at the back of his head I believe.

Nevermind about all these, the list of thing he has promised:

- I promise I will give you a share of the income of the website once it's completed.

So what is the share like? I hate to be unfair to you but my six sense tells me that I will at most be given 5% share.

- I will give you all a week paid leave in June

Mentioned earlier on. He initially wanted to give us a week's paid leave in third week of June, and we (my colleague YX) and I both had plan for that week already. One week before, he said he can't give us, but YX had to go along with his Aussie plan, and he was not paid for that week. I had to report everyday to work and that goes all my plans I had earlier on.

- You don't have to come tomorrow.

He said that 100 times, but most times, they are invalid statements.

- You come tomorrow at 10.00am.

It's usually like when he ask me to go for work and he never fail to reach at..... 12nn. The official time by right should start at 2pm (that's another reason why I took up the job) and he made me and YX come at 1000am every morning, with him reaching in the afternoon. Yes, maybe you think that he is the boss so he is busy? You are so very wrong! He is late because he sleeps till 10am....

Why can I not get a good boss? I believe it's time for me to move on already. Enough of all the empty promises, what shares, what ownerships. I am not your daughter and it is high chance that you can pang-sei me any time. I need to find a life again, to build my own future with my own hands. I do not care if you tell me that working outside sucks, because working with you, is like "I am employed". You told me that I will have ownership for the project, but each time you had to constantly remind me that "excuse me, you are employed". For this job, the initial idea was for me to work less hours, so that I can be at home more days, to help out with housework at home since all of my family members are busy at work everyday. On the other hand, I thought I will have more time to do my sewing stuffs and you have proven me wrong with your ever-changing start-work and off-work time. I think you can get people to work for you with this pay, but the person will just not be me.

Bless you.

blew a hole in my pocket

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 09:06:34 PDT

ASOS

All thanks to this online portal. Up to 80% discount, and even though I have always been browsing through this wbsite since donkey years ago, I have never shopped for anything from there. This time, I did, and bought loads of stuffs.

Time to look forward to the items! Will be delivered "before or on 6th August 2009" so as it claims.

Loves shopping!

My favourite fashion website

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 02:46:53 PDT

Has got to be ASOS, an UK-based website. I have been a "loyal" fan for years, even though my sense of fashion hasn't improved quite a bit, but alas, I think it is a vibrant website that gives a very good update on the current trends.

Forget all the so-called "blogshops" with repetitive flower dresses you have seen in yet-another-blogshop-I-saw-yesterday. ASOS has introduces different lines of fashion and it has become a very-habit of my siblings and I to wait for the site's weekly newsletter.

Beware, it can get very addicted browsing through their weekly newsletter:)

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I want this!!!

As some of you might have known, I have been learning sewing since last July. I have to say the interest is growing day by day, and something for sure it is not a impulsive decision for me to learn sewing. So far, I have made a dress and a couple of blouses, and I must say I did a fairly good job. I wanted to reward myself with this sewing machine, Innovis 50, this coming birthday, but I am not sure if I really need it.

The functions are amazing, and just nice for my needs, but do I really need something like this at this point?

Dylan wanted to sponsor me half of the cost of this machine. I should take it isn't it? But $700 for this? I am not sure if I will be sewing for another 3 more years, even though this interest hasn't die down after nearly a year. But he sees the point that his girlfriend is *special* because I hardly demand for diamonds and necklaces, and asking merely for a sewing machine. A little odd isn't it?

Maybe I should start to set aside $100 each month to fund this hobby of mine. By end of this year, I probably can consider getting it when I know where I am setting my direction in life:)
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I am brainstorming for two website designs now. Wish me luck!

xoxo

Win a LV bag!

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 08:29:05 PDT

Although I may be selfish at times, good things are still meant to be shared! (Click on the link to find out :))

Love and more love

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 09:04:37 PDT

I want a new layout!!!

Honestly, I wanted to change a webpage design last year. And then, the start of this year I had the idea again. Enough of procrastination. I ought to sit down and do a real good design for my website. Any ideas??

*********************
It hurts to know, but never too late to realise. When I thought he was one of the most decent guy I have dated, it turned out he is a big jerk who hurt me too much. We are OVER (the ex, I am still dating Dylan, in case you are wondering), and I have gotten over the paint, yet for a single sentence HHL mentioned to me I got upset over the useless guy. Oh well. But I know I have experienced a rough patch last year and whatever I do now things will get better. For those who wish to be in love or just started dating, open both eyes and see clearly who you are really dating. I do love to be in love, and never afraid to be in love, but when love (past tense) turns nasty, it will always leave a deep scar in your heart.

I am appreciating what I have now, and hope for the best to happen. This has got to be one of the more difficult relationship I have due to age differences and different perspectives in life, but we are both trying hard and giving each other time and patience to develop this relationship, where hopefully both of us can meet.

I am happy for friends who are getting married, and though marriage is not in my plans for the next few years, I still am looking forward to someone who I can love for the rest of my life. I don't believe in "I love you forever" anymore, yet secretly I wished for eternal love. I can't decipher why people aren't looking for love, cos love has got to be one of the MUST-HAVE things I need in my life.

Love everyone who loves me!

Random Updates (again)

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Thu, 21 May 2009 01:24:46 PDT

I have absolutely no idea why my inbox is flooded with over thousands of read emails, and another 500+ unread emails.... ARGH!!

Love has been really amazing, and he is the reason why I want to be in love. He makes me angry, happy, frown, laugh, cry, sing, smile, weep, dance, curse, emo, loved, blissed.... the picture of love is never perfect, and every thing he does is like a puzzle piece to a million piece jigsaw puzzle... Everyday is a mystery, a surprise and I simply look forward to each coming day:)

Love you darling!

Random

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Tue, 12 May 2009 06:59:55 PDT

This is part of my job....

Doesn't this looks familiar? (P/s: This is the draft only. Check out all blocks around Bishan for the actual poster/flyer, lol)

Driving Test Attempt #1

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 23:32:37 PDT

When attempting the station "Reverse Parking (Directional Change)", the minute my car moved in, I know something is wrong. I will either strike/mount the curb, and if I am luckier, perhaps I will have some points deducted for lousy parking. So as I reverse the Vios, just as I predicted, the vehicle strike the curb. "That's the end, there goes my $145 for the day." I thought.

So when the vehicle was out on the main road, the examiner did not use his laptop AT ALL. Worst thought for the day: Fail already so no need to minus anymore marks....

He gave a stern, serious look after the test. There goes my three months' driving lessons and money. Another round of intensive training awaits me...

"You've passed, but please remember your mistakes." The examiner said after 10 minutes of waiting as he was printing out my results slip.

I didn't exactly passed with flying colors, but I am very satisfied with my performances today-- perfect parallel parking, lane switching, checking blind spots etc. Even the examiner praised me when he found out that it was my first attempt and said there were no major problems with my driving :)

I am officially a P-Plate driver!!!

WHEEEEEEEEE!

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 01:42:33 PDT

Boy's gave me a surprise and is now waiting for me at the void deck now! So glad :) I was expecting only to meet him this Saturday and there he is now and sprung me a surprise "attack". Time to shower and rush out to meet him in another half hour! Yippee!

iLove webcam

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 09:23:33 PDT

Having lotsa fun with the new lappie and it turns out the in-built webcam has "Superior HD image quality". I am not sure if one can tell if this is really so called HD, but who really cares when we have so much fun with it. Gawd, I think Dylan will kill me if he knows I posted his "ugly" pictures (as he claims it) up on my blog.

He probably doesn't know about the existence of this place, and I don't intend to tell him any time.

On Jobs

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 21:31:01 PDT

For those who already know, as from my previous post I have also mentioned, I am working right now. Seeing how the job market is now makes me depressed, and I really wonder what is in store for me in future. I am giving myself a year to see some progress in my current job, but for now, I am contented with what I have. After all, it is a decent job; I work for my salary and it can definitely fund my current spendings.

Yet, the more depressing thing is, people thinks that it's not a "real" job. I used to think it isn't as well, because of the oddly short working days and hours, but I feel that there is nothing shameful about it. When I was talking to WK the other day, he was telling me, "Go get a job." Sometimes, I hate it when people judges you based on your job. To him, he thinks that since I am engineering-trained, I should get a related job. Yes, I still do have a passion in environmental engineering related jobs, but come to think of it, the market in Singapore is small, and that is why my ex-company went out of business. Competition is tough for SME, and there is no way I can make it into the bigger companies with little working experience. Inside me, I sorta gave up most of my hopes, and that explains why the "career" switch.

What WK and some other people didn't see is the prospects of this job amidst all the uncertainties. Firstly, I will be doing a post graduate diploma starting next week. Fully funded by my employer, a.k.a. my fifth Uncle, he is also getting me a laptop for the course of studies. I see these two components as part of my benefits as a staff, and definitely I think the course will help to establish myself in the coming years.

There isn't a more flexible work-hours/days than this job can offer. While I am going to Bangkok, I need not take any official leave and such (there isn't a need to offer me 21 days annual leave in the first place). All I need to do is just work an extra day, or finish the tasks he assigned me within the comforts of my home. Because of this job, I am practically spending every single day I can with Dylan, and he likes it (I hope), without straining on my savings (cos dating is expensive in Singapore.) Days when I need to get to work, I can have a simple lunch date with him, which is totally out of question if I am holding a 9-to-5 job.

No, I am not in a self-denial or self-indulgence state of mind. I am just offering a brighter side of the view for this job that I am experiencing after a month of working. Better to come hopefully. Everyone definitely prefer to see the brighter side of life :)

But I do know once my feet are out of the field, it is pretty hard to get back to where I was before.

A brief update

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 04:23:53 PDT

Oh, just how long I haven't updated. I have been extremely busy of late, and kinda walking in a new direction in life. I gotta face reality somehow, and now I am, and it is kinda surprising how things are turning out. I fret the uncertain future, yet I am eagerly anticipating it. I want a more stable life, but how things are moving off from zero grounds makes me glad that I am seeing a different light from most people. I venture, and hope to reap a good return in the near future. Right now, I am just waiting, and having the least rewards of all, just for a better future for myself.

Love has been wonderful, and I know it is gonna be tough. It's like a fairy tale kinda love story, or something that is beyond one's belief, as HS has mentioned, yet, it makes me feel that I just wanna indulge in it, and hopefully something good comes out of it. Seeing people getting married at this age makes me feel like wanting to be a bride too, yet I know some things gotta wait, and I know dating does not equals to marriage.

I do see a good future in us :)

I am going to Bangkok in June. Check out Jetstar and Airasia this weekend because tickets are sooooo freaking cheap. What I worry most is the lodging, which I am a lil laidback to check them out now, but chances are, the savings from the air fares are going back to the hotels. Oh well.

I am thinking of going for another weekend getaway. Anyone?

Yes, my parents did it again.

noreply@blogger.com (Peiyi) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:38:54 PDT

I was indeed really mad at them. The previous times I brought Mr M back home they appeared really hostile. I didn't understand why they can't be more welcoming towards my friends and boyfriend, and had to give a "black face" whenever I bring my beau home.

So I didn't bring Mr H home for the course of one year plus dating. And they actually complained that I didn't bring him home to "show" them.

So now, I am dating Tilam, I am sure it is not a one or two months dating thingy (we are dating for more than a month by now), so last night, when Tilam send me back home, I asked him to my house. And guess what, Dad walked in and out of his room (which means he will pass by my bedroom each time he does that), and made Tilam really uneasy (he was sitting on my bed but my room's door was WIDE open. ) We all know Dad was "spying" on us, but he was doing it "discreetly". So Tilam wanted to leave early, so I sent him to the bus stop.

Guess what? When I was back home, I got a big scolding from my parents. Mum wasn't even around when Tilam was at my house and she said "Why just bring home a guy you barely date a month or two? What if you are just playing around?" Seriously, I don't understand their rationale. Ok, so what if we will only be dating for another 3 months (CHOY!) ? The fact that I brought him home to "show" them is really part of what should be done in a relationship. I mean, come on! If we are really just "playing", I think he doesn't even want to step into my house, for fear that my parents will "slaughter" him because he is toying with their girl's feelings. But no, even after I warned him about my parents' nasty behavior towards my ex, he really wanted to know them. And my parents' attitude towards the whole thing really just disappoints me greatly.

So, I know Tilam will never step into my house ever again. Not that he doesn't want to meet my family again, but I don't want him to be given nasty treatment again. My siblings were cool though, even though they didn't talk much to him, as they are pretty much "dao" to strangers like I am. I guess even if my parents ask to meet him again, I will not bring Tilam back home again. How sad!