It’s amazing the amount of insight and perspective one can gain simply by putting some distance between them and the chaos. I see so much more clearly now. I’m away from the sickness and I feel stronger every day. Life is all about choices, and learning from our mistakes. Mistakes are lessons in the making and we certainly do not live and die by them ….. we gain knowledge FROM them. They serve a purpose, so as much as I might be tempted to say I regret all my past mistakes, I really can’t. I’ve learned so much and continue to learn every single day. The veil is lifting from my eyes and I can see the truth about myself — an others — so much better. And I know I’m strong, not weak; smart, not stupid; worthy, not worthless. I’m going to do better for myself from here on out. If I’m better, I can be better for everyone else around me who I love so much — my children and my precious grandson. That’s what really matters. Everything else is simply clutter and distraction.

Thank you so very much to those of you who commented on my prior post. You are such amazing friends and I appreciate you more than I can say. You are all phenomenal human beings. XOXO

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And quite frankly, it is leaving me disoriented and dizzy. Not to mention completely and utterly disillusioned.

Three weeks ago my husband, daughter and I were on vacation having a great time. He and I were, as I truly believed at the time, reconnecting in a way that had long ago disappeared. We were thinking alike again and finishing each other’s thoughts …. that kind of thing. It was like old times and it felt very, very wonderful.

Today, 3 1/2 weeks later, I am not even living at home. I’m more or less a vagabond, staying mainly with my oldest son and his wife so I can babysit their son for them while they work. Other times I’m with my sisters or here at home when my husband is away working. I don’t even know what to think anymore. It was supposed to be him and me against the world, no matter what, but it’s turned into something quite different. He doesn’t want me around and I don’t want to stay where I’m not wanted. My daughter and I aren’t together nearly as much as we were and it’s breaking my heart to pieces. I just breathe … and move … and do what I must. Other than that, life really sucks the big one and I have a hard time caring.

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Hey! How is everyone? It’s been a very, very long time since I last sat my butt down here at the computer. I’ve seriously neglected my blog, I know. Real life has keep me very busy and extremely engaged. In all honesty, I haven’t really missed my computer very much. But isn’t that the way it usually goes? In spurts? For a while you love to blog like crazy, then for a while you just can’t be bothered? Yeah, well, I guess I’ve been in the latter frame of mind for the past three months or so.

I really appreciate those of you who have continued to stop by. I really do. I’m going to try very hard to do better. I want to begin visiting all of you much more frequently again and not let the weeds grow so tall around here. ;) I hope you are all well and looking forward to a fun summer! I know I am!

Kiss kiss, hug hug

Technorati Tags: blogging, absences from blogging, summer

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Just mention two little words: Strip Club. And then watch out!

The folks here in Northeast Colorado are totally up in arms! The town in which I live is about 10,000 residents, give or take. The town in which a man wants to open a strip club is WAY smaller, as in under a thousand, about 20 miles or so from here. And wow, talk about a hot button issue! Just take a look at the comments left on our local newspaper’s web site here and here. Holy Moly, Batman! It’s turned into a fight between Believers and non-believers; Christians vs. heathens. I’m tellin’ ya, just mention sex around here and people go crazy!

Everyone has completely strayed from discussing the issue at hand: is it a business plan with merit or not? Why can’t people stay on point? Oh no, that would be too easy and civil. Instead, let’s talk about bare breasts and nekkid buns and how it will open the gates of hell into the town of Fleming! Geeez!

It’s actually pretty funny — and sad. I just sit here and shake my head as I read all the comments. Personally speaking, I don’t really think a tiny little town like Fleming is a place for a strip club (non-alcoholic, open to 18 and over, male and female strippers). I can’t see it really being that successful or bringing much revenue into the town, but who knows, I could be wrong. I guess it would be another place for the college students from here to go to to have some fun (of which there are currently very few), and they wouldn’t be drinking alcohol so driving home drunk shouldn’t be a problem. I dunno. I think the most interesting thing about this whole thing is the huge fight-fest among the commenters!

People. We sure are a strange breed.

Technorati Tags: Fleming Colorado, strip clubs, Religious Right, moral majority, Believers vs. non-believers

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As I sit here, finally ready to head for bed, I find myself instead reflecting on the amazing day we just had. I watched, along with millions of other Americans, as Barack Obama became our next President, and I couldn’t have been happier. I am so proud of our country, and anxious and hopeful for our future. I had never before been as active or interested in a campaign as I was this presidential election cycle, and I have never before felt so confident and excited about our country’s future. (Plus it was a huge relief to see Bush go home to Texas!) I know Obama will be an incredible President! I really feel he will bring this country together in a way we have never seen before. It is going to be a stunning time in our history!

One thing I found funny, though, as I watched President and Mrs. Obama make their appearance from ball to ball, I was both tickled and amazed by our technological society. As soon as they took the stage at every ball, the hundreds — and sometimes thousands — of guests out on the floor became a sea of cell phones taking pictures. LOL Did you notice that? It was actually quite funny. Wow. How did we ever survive without cell phones??? LOL Personally speaking, I hyperventilate if I leave the house without my BlackBerry!

And so today begins a new era in America — the Obama era! Yay!!!

Technorati Tags: President Obama, Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, technology

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It is with a heavy heart that I share the tragic news of the death of Jett Travolta, 16 year old son of actors John Travolta and Kelly Preston. He suffered a seizure at around 10:00 this morning while vacationing with his family in the Bahamas. Sadly, all attempts to revive him were unsuccessful. He will be flown to Ocala, Florida, where an autopsy will be performed on Monday.

Please keep John, Kelly and their 8 year old daughter, Ella, in your prayers. They’re going to need all they can get.

Technorati Tags: John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Jett Travolta, Jett Travolta dies suddenly

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The brand spankin’ new McDonald’s opens up after having been closed for four months and the WHOLE town shows up! I kid you not! They tore down the old McDonald’s four months ago and built us a gorgeous new one, and when they opened back up ten days ago, it was insane! The entire parking lot was completely full all day, every day, for about four days, and the drive-thru lanes were out to the street — constantly! I wanted to stop and get a picture of it, but the traffic was too bad. Yeah I know. Wow. It was like …. unbelievable. So anyway, I found this rendering of the new building design McDonald’s is currently using (ours is prettier than that, though ). Yeah, it’s cool, but, really? I mean, it’s got free Wi-Fi and a big, fabulous playland for the kids, and a McCafe which serves specialty coffee and …. oh OK, so it’s the most exciting thing that’s happened around here for a while.

Something else I saw which was not exciting at all was also on Main Street in our little town. My daughter and I were making a quick Taco Bell run around 10:30PM last Saturday for Hubs who had just returned home from a trip (he’s a locomotive engineer), and while sitting at the window waiting for our order I noticed a lot of flashing lights down a few blocks. I had a real bad feeling and told my daughter either there had been a bad accident or someone had been hit by a car. Tragically, it was the latter. As we drove home, we had to go down Main Street and passed all the police cars, fire truck, sheriff cars and ambulance — and a motionless body of a man lying on the side of the road. It was shocking in a take-your-breath-away kind of way, and I quickly looked away and sped up just to pass as fast as I could. My daughter was speechless. I cried and prayed all the way home, but found out a few minutes later by calling a friend of mine who always has her scanner on that he had died. It was horrible. He was only 40 years old. My heart broke for his family and also for the woman who had hit him. I don’t know all the details of the accident and I’m certainly not going to speculate here about it, but suffice it to say that there will be no charges brought against the woman. Regardless, I’m sure it has been devastating for her. I can’t even imagine.

I don’t want to leave you with that image, so I’ll end my little “catch-up” post with something much less sad and more of an “awwww”.

We went to see our 4 year old grandson on Tuesday, which was the day he was supposed to be in his very first preschool Christmas program, but he had come down with a terrible cold and couldn’t go, so we just visited him at home. We always have such a fantastic time with him. Anyway, I was sitting on the floor in the living room when he brought out some books and asked me to read to him. I told him to sit on my lap and had him pick out which book he wanted first. While everyone else was busy visiting, he and I sat there in our own little world with The Cat in the Hat. As I was reading, he began to get sleepy and leaned back against my chest and shoulder, his eyes getting heavier and heavier. Out of the blue I suddenly felt his little hand reach up and stroke my face, then he stretched his neck upward toward me and kissed the bottom of my cheek. I absolutely melted.

See? Awwwww

Technorati Tags: McDonald’s, grandchildren, sweet things grandchildren do

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I know a new post is long overdue and I apologize. I’ve just been crazy busy. Seems like every day there’s been things to do and by the time night rolls around I’m too tired to even want to sit at the ‘puter.

Let’s see, in a nutshell, my daughter had her loooong hair highlighted/lowlighted one day, then I had mine done two days later, only to return the next day to have some of it “fixed” where it was WAY too light for some reason, then we went and had the cell phone I just retired when I got my Storm transferred to my daughter since she’s not eligible for an upgrade yet, then we went shoe shopping then out for a late lunch, then car shopping with my son. Whew! That brings us up to today. Today I went with my son to pick up his old car at the dealership and got to drive his new car to his house. It was fun! Drives veeery nicely. It’s a Toyota Solera. Now I’m at home with a lousy headache.

It turned WAY cold here three days ago and we even got some snow — finally. I like snow, but I hate the cold. I wish it could snow when it’s warm. lol

The worst part of my week was when I found out yesterday that a woman I’ve known for 25 years — Mary is her name — has stage 4 lung cancer which has spread to her esophagus, pelvic bone, her back and also the base of her skull. I was devastated to hear the news. She recently — as in April — moved to Arizona to start a whole new life for herself and be close to her son, daughter-in-law and soon-to-be-born grandbaby. Finally she was taking a step forward to create something really nice for herself after living many, many very difficult years. I cannot comprehend the unfairness of it. Life is so hugely arbitrary and it just doesn’t seem right at all. It shouldn’t be like that. You wanna know the irony of it all? She sells cancer insurance. Oh man. Her boss has assured her that all the very best doctors in Arizona have been called in for her. I’m so glad. She is currently undergoing both chemo and radiation treatments. Her lung will have to be removed and quite possibly her esophagus, as well. It’s absolutely terrifying to think about. As I said to another friend of mine, my heart wants so badly for her to heal and be well; my head tells me that it is highly unlikely; my spirit tells me anything is possible.

Please keep her in your prayers. Thank you.

Technorati Tags: friends, friends who are sick, Toyota Solera, highlighting/lowlighting hair

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Technorati Tags: Thanksgiving

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To eat pumpkin pie, that is. It’s my very favorite pie in the world, but strangely enough I only bake/eat it during the holidays. But guess what I found out? Did you know that pumpkin (technically a fruit) is loaded with vitamin A, which aids vision, enhances your immune system and gives you pretty skin? I know, how cool is that? So now you can chow down on your pumpkin pie tomorrow and actually feel good about it! But wait, don’t get carried away now, OK? I mean, everything in moderation, right? Oh what am I saying?! Hell no, people, eat that pie! Eat insane amounts of that pie! Eat it all year ’round! Yummmmmm!

Technorati Tags: pumpkin, pumpkin pie

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