project miyazaki

2011-03-27T21:53:00.000+07:00

THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT

so its 2011.
so it is.

and my book is still not done.
while this blog has spanned several years.

shame on me.

BUT FEAR NOT!
i gots me something real good in the works.
i'm really really excited about it.

i know you guys hear that a lot, but this time...
...i think i really mean it.

2010-10-24T16:27:00.000+07:00

OF LIGHTS IN THE DARK

click on the images to see their creators and more of their work

some inspiring images to give you a hint of

the story i'm currently working on.

wish me luck!

2010-10-02T17:25:00.000+07:00

OH DEAR ITS BEEN A YEAR

it's been a year exactly, oh dear oh dear,

and i'm still slumping along.

with no progress on the bookywook.

it's just that i'm bursting with ideas for books

and i keep switching between all of them

because i'm itching to write all of them.

i'm so confused.

the one that i'm really excited about,

is a story about the stars and the moon.

i'm gonna try and get that one done.

oh god, so confused.

wish me well.

LOOKIE HERE

2009-10-23T17:34:00.004+07:00

SNEAK PEEKS

because I'm a cheeky little teaser. hahaha.

2009-09-27T16:03:00.002+07:00

ET VOILA!

THE BOOK IS FINISHED!!!!

okay, well, technically just the first draft.

i still have oodles caboodles to polish up and make pretty.

WISH ME LUCK ALL! I'M ALMOST THERE.

INVISIBLE METEOR SHOWER

2009-08-13T16:30:00.003+07:00

CACHE

HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT?

whenever i see a word,

i can always guess how to pronounce them,

by just looking at the arrangement of letters.

but this word, cache,

it has always annoyed me.

i think i have a pretty good idea

how to pronounce it,

but it's just always annoyed me visually.

all those jutting consonants,

bullying the poor little vocals.

it has always bothered me.

anyway, on a more important note,

THE BOOK IS ALMOST FINISHED.

gosh, the journey went really fast.

even for me. i was surprised.

but here i am,

standing in the threshold of the ending,

scared and nervous.

i am about to end everything.

would it end well? would i screw it up?

i'm so nervous.

i've been putting it off for about a week or so,

i haven't written anything because of this.

i'm so nervous. what if i fail.

i've never been too good at writing endings.

because i've never properly finished anything i did.

so what if i screw this thing up, too?

everything felt so right.

the writing just went so smoothly.

not too much trouble along the way,

nothing i can't handle anyway.

and it's about to end.

what if the ending sucks? what if i ruin everything?

i've been sitting around,

trying to summon something from inside of me,

courage or something similar,

so that i could finally write this thing.

but so far, nothing came up.

i couldn't pull anything out from within me.

then, i read a phenomenal book.

it was a phenomenal day, too.

a day spoken to be unlike any other day.

which made me believe that there is someone,

a greater force beyond the cosmos,

that really wants me to do this.

so yesterday,

a friend of mine told us that

there was going to be a meteor shower that night.

at precisely 02:00 AM.

so my friends and i,

sleepy to the point of death,

waited around the balcony

with the hopes of seeing something truly magical.

i got bored of just sitting around,

so i went and picked up one of my friend's books.

i was tired of reading the same magazines again and again.

the book was called Dewi Kawi,

written by an Indonesian legend,

Arswendo Atmowiloto.

initially,

i read the first few pages like

someone who just wanted something to read

to pass the time.

but then, deeper into the book,

i couldn't put it down.

i could feel that it affected something in me.

i finished the book that night,

by the end of it, the meteors never came.

but that was alright.

the sheer anticipation of it

was enough to make the night special,

and moreover, i read a book that i know full well

has changed my life.

after i woke up today,

i grabbed an A2 sketchpad,

ripped a piece of paper,

folded it in four,

and wrote.

now, back to the blue book...or whatever.

RUT-TUT-TUT

2009-07-15T15:56:00.012+07:00

ORANGE CANS

THAT GO RUT-TUT-TUT

i just got back from Kedai,
my little magic spot in Kuta Jr. (Kemang, that is)

and for those of you who don't know what the hell Kemang is,
just think of it as like sort of a teeny tiny Beverly Hills in Indonesia.
where people saunter about
and hangout and act cool so they could be seen.

(okay granted, there are some people
that you can find there who are actually cool people. but only some.)

anyway, the reason i say this Kemang place is Kuta Jr.
is because that is what it's becoming.
and for those of you who don't know what the hell Kuta is,
it's a spot in Bali where it's really hot.

not temperature-wise.
visit Kuta and you'll get it.
(do i sense a little Visit Indonesia 2009 trick here?)

anyway, yes.
i digress. a little too much.

so i just got back from this Kedai place,
and perhaps you'll be happy to know
that i finished Chapter 4 of my writing.

and it is so far,
one of my most favorite chapters.

i started Chapter 5,
but stopped because i needed
to go home before it got too dark.

i left my phone in my sister's house
so i couldn't call my driver to pick me up.
so i had to use public transport.

since i didn't have much money with me at the time,
i had to consider using the cheapest
mode of transport available to me.

which was this.

for those of you who do not know what this is,
don't bother to find out.

all you need to know,
is that this is a big orange can
that go rut-tut-tut as it goes along the road.

hence the title.

and i didn't want to go home too late,
lest it got too dark out.
and Jakarta is not the safest place
once it's dark.

anyway, my decision to go to Kedai today
was because i needed just a little touch of magic.
and this Kedai is my special place.

just like Tsukishima Shizuku's special antique place
in Whisper of the Heart.

if you have time,
you should check out this movie.

i promise you,
if you have any kind of dreams in you
that you are not sure you can pursue,
this movie will change your mind
and get you straight onto the path
of that impossible dream.

i know it did me.

oh, and i feel i have to express
how much i was inspired by James McAvoy's eyes.
i just watched Penelope recently,
with my mum and nephew.

quite ordinary and predictable movie,
nothing too special.

not the best work for Christina Ricci,
and actually rather mediocre for James McAvoy,
Reese Witherspoon looked bored throughout.
i'm sure the book was a lot better. if it was a book.

but regardless, the EYES.
James McAvoy's eyes.

well, let's just say because of those eyes,
i based an entire character from him.

and that's all i'm telling you.

and normally,
when i end my posts,
i end with "now, back to the gold book"

but i think i should change it for now.
since the gold book is all the way in Cyberjaya, Malaysia.
it's still alive and well,
but at the moment,
i'm actually writing in a different book.
it had a rather empty cover with only
the picture of a single, solitary little sheep.
so i added some illustrations of my own.

and the color of this book,
as you can see, is blue.

so i should say...

now, back to the blue book.

FRUIT-FUELLED FINNISH MADNESS

2009-07-08T21:35:00.004+07:00

MOOMIN
se on kuin maaginen!

i am pleased to say that the writing has
gone off to a very good start.

"WHAAAAT!!!? YOU'RE STARTING AGAIN!!!?
JUST STARTING!!!??"
...oh shut up and let me do this my way.

anyway yes,
so far it's off to a fabulous start.

wish me luck.
wish me well.

and also,
i found something MAGICAL today.

it was totally unexpected.

i was in a hospital waiting room,
waiting for my niece who was getting a check-up.

there was such a lack of reading material
in that bloody expensive hospital's waiting room,
that i ended up leafing through this dinky little
local magazine entitled Scandasia.

some sort of newsletter for
Scandinavian people living in Asia i suppose.

...duh.

and i was dully leafing through it,
and i find these GORGEOUS pictures of book covers
with the title MOOMIN printed in huge friendly letters.

it was so fantastic.
the illustrations are absolutely GORGEOUS.
i love, love, love, love it.

it's basically a children's book in Finland
by a wonderful lady called Tove Jansson.

i swear,
with each day i press on with this project,
i find more and more wonderful things
that continue to encourage me to pursue this.

and i am eternally grateful for them.

alright then, enough of this.
back to my writing!
(goes to get a plate of fruits for my desk. i write better while eating fruit?)

now, back to the gold book.

i get the stupid, yes?

2009-07-05T19:08:00.003+07:00

FLIMBERSMASFLENG!!

(sounds like a name for a cupboard from IKEA)

i almost went to the publisher's.

but i didn't.

i was THIS close to
getting my dream almost realized,
but i didn't.

WHY IN THE HELL??
because it didn't feel right.

this is probably one of those
twisted times where
a person is stumped
whether to follow the heart,
or the brain.

the brain the brain the brain..
the pinky and the brain..

anyway.
i had thought, sometime ago, during my
struggles of getting this book thing finished,
around this time,
i thought that writing my stories in my native tongue
was just the thing.

but oh me, oh my, was i EVER wrong.
i encountered more problems than ever before.
it turns out that the nuances that i was used to,
that had become natural to my writings
was totally lost when translated to my native language.

the problem here,
is that i had trained myself to write,
but i had done so, in English.

all those times with the lovely Ms. Helen Pritchard
and Ms. Laura Peyton, (my lovely English teacher and
drama teacher, who both believed in my writing ability)
i had forgotten that i was using English.

I'M EVEN WRITING THIS BLOODY BLOG
IN ENGLISH!!

so when it came time to return to my native tongue,
i...couldn't? no, no, no.

i COULD.

but i couldn't write as well as
i can in English.

oh no, what's wrong with me.
what should i do?

ah, nevermind.
i should just continue writing.

now, back to the gold book.

FLIP FLOPS and COUGH DROPS

2009-03-20T22:50:00.011+07:00

BACK FROM THE DEAD

howdy y'all.
gosh it's been so long, ay?
i haven't written here for AGES, i've forgotten my own format.

hoo-wee, lotsa stuff has been going on.
mostly, i won't get into. cuz i'm no masochist.
i don't ENJOY reminiscing my pains and stress.

so let's leave all dem darks and glooms,
and move on to happier things.

well, the fabulous photoshoot team
TEAM HURRAY (tm)
did another, in fact SEVERAL photoshoots recently.

one was with me and Cathy, the fab photog's sister.
we did this one right after we got back from holidays.
it's a collaboration with my art stylings,
just trying something new, hope it turns out great.

if i could stop my procrastination and actually get it done.

the second and third photoshoots were done
for a school exhibition held by the MERAH PUTIH club,
the club organized by the Indonesian kids on campus.

i won't spill anything about it here,
but it's the funnest photoshoot so far
with more whimsy thrown in than usual.

but this shoot was not without its downs though.
there was this one model. a male model.
okay, he's gorgeous.

but he has this girlfriend and i think
she probably eats newborns for her daily sustenance.
she was giving each of us mega-DEATH STARES
and none of us girls were allowed to even
BREATHE the same air as her boyfriend.

she refused to let him pose with this female model,
(our very own KELSEY RABINDRAN)
thus ruining the pre-set concept.

but luckily, our very own KELSEY RABINDRAN
was ever cooperative and positive.
big love for her!

aaand...what else?
of course more movie reviews are due,
because y'all know how i love doing them.

but right now, i might have some bad news.
my PROJECT MIYAZAKI might be postponed a little bit.

cuz right now, i'm working on this teenage love story bit
and i REALLY need to get it out of my system
so i can purely work on my fairytales.

i really hope this book is well-received.
at least i can make a name for myself first,
before i go on with my fairytales.

maybe that would smooth the road a bit.
yeah, sounds like a plan.

anyway,
here comes the movie reviews, as promised.

so first of all, let's talk about the most recent movie
i watched, which was Nicolas Cage's Knowing.

i applaud this movie.
no, not because of it's originality, or because Nicolas Cage or Rose Byrne
was good in it. no. both of them were pretty stagnant
and the boy was and could never
be the next Hayley Joel Osment circa Sixth Sense
even if he bled himself trying.

no.
i applaud this movie because of its ending.

how it blatantly showed the complete and absolute
end of the world. just like that.
no loopholes, no happy endings.

EVERYONE DIED.
THE WORLD FREAKIN ENDED.
fin.

can't remember the last time i saw such
a blatant and yet poignant end to a movie.

too bad the whole thing that preceded it
was such a predictable yawn.

Nicolas Cage was playing Nicolas Cage,
Rose Byrne was just an annoying hysterical mess,
and the little boy was just an emotionless putty.

the little girl, i won't even get into.

i almost wished the previous alien/earth destruction movie
that i watched (The Day The Earth Stood Still) had the ending
of this movie. it would have been so much better.

and then, of course, there was The Punisher.

this movie has no depth whatsoever.

BUT.

nothing wrong with that!
this is an action movie after all.
all brawn, no brain.
swish-swash-kill-kill-kill-blood-car chase-fuck girl-kiss girl-swish-swash-kill-kill-FINAL KILL-end. action movie.

what else is there?
i appreciate it for being what it is.

what i don't appreciate is this guy.
the one on the bed.

so let me get this straight.
ever since Heath Ledger (bless his soul, may he rest in peace)
invented a whole new way to portray an insane person,
all of a sudden it is the de rigeuer way to play one.

i was disgusted at how much
that guy tried so hard to cookie-cut Heath Ledger's Joker.
please. try again next year.

well,
that's all i have for ya.

see you soon, see you later!

now, back to the gold book.

suzuki cup sadness

2008-12-21T00:39:00.004+07:00

A DISAPPOINTED FELLOW COUNTRYMEN
WE WERE SO CLOSE!!!!!!

so Indonesia was beating Thailand
one-nil during the first half of the game.

my brother and i were rooting for them
like craaaaaaaaaaaazy.

him screaming over his teh tarik
i over my spirulina green orange juice thingy drink.
some kind of memory-enhancing drink.

anyway, they were playing so super well,
our Indonesian team. i was so proud of them.
and i don't watch soccer that often!!!

anyway, after Singapore beat them last time,
i was hoping that this time they would try for a comeback.
you know, go for gold.

especially with a one-nil lead!
against Thailand!!!! they're one of the two
teams that always wins the Suzuki cup.

and our defense was impenetrable!!
the goalie, Markus Horison Ririhena,
was super good!!!

no ball could enter past his hands!
he was like an octopus!
(especially with the big bald head)

but then something went terribly wrong.
somewhere in the second half,

Markus bumped into a Thai player mid-jump,
causing him to somersault backwards,
landing on his neck.

so needless to say,
he bumped his head super hard.
he fainted a bit there.

and everything went downhill from there.
he was probably disoriented a little bit
and probably has a HUUUGE headache.
so maybe his concentration was off.

a ball went through.
goal for Thailand.

with the score even,
the team's morale was crushed.
especially with less than five minutes on the clock.

they couldn't win the lead back.
i knew it, my brother knew it,
and they probably knew it too.

the rest of the game was a sloppy
attempt at trying to defend.

there were minuscule attempts at offence,
but it was obviously half-hearted.
and easily thwarted by the Thai players.

i don't think i need to say who won.
oh well...

better luck next year, Indonesia!!!
you got a one-nil lead this year,
maybe next year you get a one-nil win!!!

best wishes!!!!

now, back to the gold book.

finally, she watches a new movie.

2008-12-17T13:22:00.014+07:00

KLAATU BARADA NIKTO
INDEED.

so recently,
i watched The Day the Earth Stood Still.
starring Keanu Reeves and Jennifer Connelly.

yeah, i know.
i watched a movie that's not
being re-run on HBO.

makes you think that i do have a life
after all, don't it?

this movie was a remake of
the 1951 movie of the same title,

so Hollywood gets no originality props.
as per usual.

anyway,
i thought that this movie had soooooooooooooooo much potential.
really, so much. so, so, so, so much.

i can't believe how much potential it had.
it's like, all the pieces are right there!
perfectly in place!!!!

but then.
UNFORTUNATELY.

this unbelievable potential was handled by the wrong people.
handled by the wrong people in the wrong way.
there's a double whammy for ya.

i can't take the movie seriously,

"the alien comes out and magically turns into Keanu Reeves,
wearing a suit."

i said to my brother. jokingly.
but turns out i was right!!!!

the alien turns into Keanu Reeves.
and it ended up wearing a suit.

seriously Hollywood peoples.
i am getting tired of all these supernatural entities,
like angels, demons and aliens
all being "inconspicuously integrated" into
daily life by SLAPPING on a suit!!!

it's like,

"hmm, how can we make these guys not stand out of the crowd
but still look freaking cool? hmmm...AHA! i know! a suit!"

and only one movie
from the collage above
has no relation to Keanu Reeves.
(can you guess which one?)

what is it with Keanu Reeves
and suits?

is there like
a special clause in his contracts
which states that he will only wear suits?

yeah, i guess so.

since he's too
sallow and expressionless
to be able to look good
in anything else.

not that he's not cute. he is.
but i swear that "suit-only" clause exists.

and maybe the people who made Constantine
didn't want him to feel lonely and excluded
by being the only one wearing a suit.

so they made everyone else
wear suits too!

aww, bless their hearts.

i do wonder though,
how would aliens, demons and angels
know what suits are?

but i digress.

anyway,
i thought the most arbitrary
appearance in the movie,
was what happened to
Klaatu's robot protector, GORT.

so he comes out, right.
all big and muscly and roboty.
scary stuff.

disables any weapon-type things
on sight.

BUT THEN.

as opposed to vaporizing the world
with his laser beam eyeballs,
he disintegrates into a million billion iron bugs
that gnaw into anything in the universe,
ANYTHING,
and renders them into dust.

scaaaaaaaaaary.
and i love the irony of the big, big world
destroyed by something as small as a bug.
lovely.

BUT.

since the bug thing was
GORT's true destructive power,
his appearance earlier in the movie,
with his badass laserbeam eyes
seemed somewhat unimportant.

it's like,
the movie was making an introduction
for something that wasn't going
to have any part for the rest of the movie.

and i don't mean GORT.
cuz he vaporized things in the end.
what i meant was his laser eyes.

okaay,
so you wanna surprise the audience,
confuse them, wow them.
i get it.

the bugs were great.
very scary with their vaporizing powers.

but the audience would wonder,
what's the point of having those laser eyes
that disable all weapons?

maybe GORT could go and DISABLE THE WORLD first,
and THEN sent the bugs out.
that'd be mega disaster.

and the laser eyes would have SOME use.

i don't even wanna say anything
about that Jacob kid's acting.
nothing at all.

he succeeded at being annoying,
so props for him.

and Jennifer Connelly was
standard distressed-single-mother/biologist-last-hope-for-mankind
type acting. nothing extraordinary.

Keanu Reeves was...Keanu Reeves.
and during that scene:

"what's your name?"
"Klaatu."

not convincing at all. you do NOT look like a Klaatu.
you're Keanu Reeves.

you just don't buy it that his name is Klaatu.

Kathy Bates was quite good.
very annoying, you just wanna kill her.
which is the point of her character.
so she did very well.

the ending.
the ending was BEYOND dissapointing.

first of all.
the bugs vaporized EVERYTHING
but Dr. Benson and annoying Jacob child
managed to protect themselves under some
dinky stone bridge?

yeah okay,

"i can't hold them off for long."

so Klaatu probably put some force field
around them or something.

but there was no sign of him doing that,
no swish-swash, lights, mirrors, CGI.
nothing.

SO HOW WAS THE AUDIENCE SUPPOSED TO KNOW!!!!???

and secondly,
he forces through the hurricane of
bugs to save mankind by poking his
blubbery spaceship globe thing.

all bugs died.
and Klaatu leaves on blubbery spaceship globe thing.

the ending was emotionless at best.
at least have some mortified moms
crying because their only child is being
eaten alive by microscopic bugs.

oh, wait.
that's right, that happened to Jacob and Dr. Benson.

SEE WHAT I MEAN!?
it happened so fast that the emotion
could only reach the scene half way when
it was over.

my last word for this movie is,
it had SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much potential,
but it was handled by the wrong people.

IN OTHER NEWS,
i also saw Ginger Snaps with my brother,

this one,
you need to see for yourself.

basically, the sister
turns into a werewolf.

you decide.

ON THE WRITING FRONT,
i've begun the re-writing in Indonesian,
but found myself stuck.

i was goofing around one day
and then stumbled upon this
manga-style love story idea.

i hadn't done something like this
in a LOOOOOOONG time.
so i was surprised.

plus, i went off manga
a while ago.

so i tried and tried
to draw this idea out,
make it as boring as possible
so i can get it out of my system
and go back to writing my book.

it took some two days,
but it's gone.

and now, back to writing!
wish me luck!!

now, back to the gold book.

epiphany?

2008-12-14T14:38:00.007+07:00

SUFFERIN' SUCCOTASH!!!!

i just had an epiphany.
i'm not sure what to make of it,
i'm not sure where i'm gonna go with it,
i'm not even sure if i'm gonna go through with it.

but there it was.

you know, for a week now,
i've been watching documentaries
on Miyazaki Hayao back-to-back.

i wanted to learn more about him as a person.
learn about his passions and his beliefs,
why and how he did the things he did.

i must say i got intimidated
and i got pessimistic.

finding out so much about him,
i decided that my dream was never going to come true.
all this business of giving a published book to him
as a present.

it'll never happen.
at least, that was my initial thought.

the reason i thought this,
was because of what i learned in those documentaries.

at first i thought the Ghibli movies
that he created was the birth
of his imagination and whimsy.

but no.
turns out it wasn't.

after seeing the documentary about
the making of Princess Mononoke,
i learned that he grafts his heart and soul
into every detail of a film.

he infuses them with his
philosophies, his beliefs.
everything in the movies, as unscripted as they are,
have a reason to be what or how they are.
all those reasons add up to a certain message
that the movie wishes to send.

so its not that he wakes up
one morning, calls Suzuki Toshio and says:

"hey, let's make a movie about a girl who's been raised by wolves!
won't that be interesting?"

and then he cranks out a plot to fit with the idea.

sure, that might be the initial idea pitch.
but then he digs deeper into this idea,
its nuances and what surrounds it
and then lays it on paper.

slowly.
and in full detail.

and knowing all this,
knowing the high standards he puts
on everything he does,
i feel ashamed.

did i think that giving him my
half-baked collection of stories
would make him appreciate my
gratitude towards his influence?

he'll be outraged!
he'll send totoros to trample me!

my stories are nothing but carbon prints
of everyone else's ideas.
he'd take one look at them and use them
for Douga scratch paper.

i'm not original.
i wont' impress him.

my stories were not influenced by him.
my stories copied his.
AND WHAT IS THAT WORTH TO HIM?
zip. zilch.

what use would it be to present my
most revered influence with
a rehash of everything he's ever done?

everybody hates remakes.
i think Miyazaki Hayao-sensei would too.
especially from a no-experience
amateur like me.

but. . .

if you think i'm giving up,
you're wrong.

absolutely not. no way.
i'm never giving up.

i just realized that,
if i'm going to give this book to
Miyazaki Hayao-sensei as a gift,
as testament to what he has done for my life,

it has to be great.
it has to be something worth his while.
it has to be ORIGINAL.

and this, i suddenly realized,
is a problem for me.
i am not original.

imagine,
realizing, as a writer, that you're not original.
BIG TROUBLE.

but i'm not discouraged.
i want to work harder.

i realize i haven't been putting
enough efforts in my stories.
as much as it pains me to say it,
my stories are shallow.

just a collection of words
paired up with one another
to form pretty sentences.

i'm good at that.
but only that.

i don't know how to write something honest.
i don't know how to write a story from my heart.
i only know how to write a story from my head.

my stories have too much embellishments.
they have no emotions. almost robotic.

BUT WHY!!!?
why is that so?

i racked my brain,
i watched more documentaries about Miyazaki Hayao-sensei.

and then i realized.
all this time, i've been in denial.
i deny that i'm not original.
i tell myself my ideas are fresh, new.

when they're really not.

i refuse to admit that i cannot write
an original, honest story.
even though i know it.

i never admitted it because i never knew
why i wasn't able to write an original story.

but after admitting here.
on you, blog.

i was liberated.
and i suddenly understand why.

all this time,
i've been writing in English.
the so-called International language.
taking pride in the fact that i could do it
and do it better than anyone else i know
who isn't native to the language.

i took pride that i could write stories
using difficult words in a sentence
and make them sound pretty and posh.

but the truth of the matter is,
English is not my native tongue.
i don't belong in a country that speaks English.

i'm Indonesian.

but all this time i've been ashamed of my heritage.
i buried it under all my flashy English writing.

i want to write fantastical stories.
stories of finding magic in everyday corners.

and it just seemed the only way to do it,
was to write it in English.
because there was no other way
to communicate this magic.

so i wrote about all these tales
with cultures totally unrelated to my own.

however,
i have no knowledge of said cultures.
i only have a handful of ideas collected
from various forms of media.

so it's no wonder that all i managed to do
was nothing more than a re-write
of all those collected ideas.
with no ideas of my own.

i was writing about something
i knew nothing about.

write what you know.
is the golden mantra of writing.
all this time, i thought i've been doing so.

but all i really knew about my stories
was the language i wrote them in.
otherwise, they were strangers to me.
foreigners.

but what can i do with my being Indonesian?
what can i do with my culture?
nothing, i thought.
my culture is worthless.

i still forced myself to write in English.
i thought it would be pointless to write
or do anything in Indonesian.
it wouldn't go anywhere
and it certainly wouldn't go global.

and then, it hit me.

so what?
what would it matter?
what difference would it make,
if my book doesn't go global?
is going global my goal?

NO.

my goal is to make a book
that will be enjoyed by children
and adults alike.
i didn't specify what nationality they had to be.
they could be anybody.

and my ultimate goal,
is to translate this book to Japanese
and present it to Miyazaki Hayao-sensei
as a gift.

nothing in there says anything
about my book going global.
nothing in there says anything
about my book having to be written in English.

so what am i doing?

i've been writing about something
i didn't truly believe in.
i was lying to myself.

and then i thought back,
to my trip to Cameron Highlands
and Pangkor Islands
with a bunch of Indonesian friends.

people who believe in Indonesia,
who believes in the culture.
who are striving to make a name for our country.

and i realized,
we are capable of doing anything
other people are.
and we can do it as well as they can.

and then i thought to myself,
"you pompous, arrogant thing. just because you learned some words in English,
it makes you turn your back on your country?"

what am i DOING?

my country has a rich culture,
it has everything not many other cultures have.
many countries are envious of us.
they think we have a beautiful culture.

and i'm ashamed of it!?
i should have totoros trample me.

i was so fixated by all the other
cultures that i turned a blind eye
at my own.

instead of being ashamed of my culture,
i should be ashamed of myself.

and instead of thinking about going global,
i should be more concerned about
doing service for my country.

i've always preached about loyalty to our own nation.
now i'm ashamed to say i've been a hypocrite.
but i admit my mistakes.

and now, here i am.
renewed.

as much as i cringe at the hard work
i'm about to inflict upon myself,
my road is clear now.

and i'm going to walk through it
one tiny step at a time.

i'm going to rewrite my book
in Indonesian.

now, back to the gold book.

BLOCK : THE WRITER'S DISEASE

2008-12-12T23:05:00.006+07:00

BANGING MY HEAD ON THE BLOCK

ah. writer's block.
so we meet again.

i curse the person who coined
the name of this disease.

putting a name on such a terrible thing
only validates its existence in the world.
imagine if this disease has no name?
it'll just. . .go away.

people would actually work on their writing
as opposed to sitting on their desks,
woefully crying to themselves and their friends,
"oh no, i've got writer's block."
whine whine whine.

i swear,
giving the thing names just keeps it here.

anyway,
i'm not giving away what my story's about,
it's the second one for the book.

but here's a hint. . . .

now go and guess yourself blind.
come on. it's not that difficult.

IN OTHER NEWS,
i watched Waitress recently.

i'd been wanting to watch it
because her "making up new pies in her head" thing
really interested me.

especially with names like
"i hate my husband" pie.

i do admit, Keri Russell was charming.
and Jeremy Sisto was great as her smothering controlling husband.
but overall, the impression i got from the movie was:

a fart.

yes. a fart.
it felt like for the whole course of the movie,
i've been holding in a huge fart.

and at the end, when the movie finally
reaches a conclusive climax,
i finally let go of that fart.

and i,
a grand connoisseur of farting,
knows that this does not mean
the movie was bad.

but it doesn't mean the movie was good, either.
holding in a fart is the most painful,
torturous thing someone can inflict
upon you.

trust me,
i am the grand connoisseur of farting.

i just thought the movie was paced too slow.
and everytime there was conflict,
it seemed too soft. not enough WHAM BAM impact.

and by WHAM BAM i dont mean like,
the husband throws around plates and tables,
making a mess of things.

no.

i mean that the conflicts
could be improved to impact the audience more.
because right now, the audience is just watching
someone else's problem as third person.

they don't feel involved
or feel any need to be.

okay, horrible husband, pie contest,
blah blah blah. more popcorn.

i just think the whole movie's
too slow and too soft to leave
an impression.

and seriously. the affair thing?
annoyed the HELL out of me.

not the emphasis,
not the problem,
not the solution,
so what IS it?

a subplot.
a SOAP OPERA style subplot.
pointless pointless pointless.

but i loved the pies.
i wished they all existed.

anyway,
right after Waitress,
i watched The Nanny Diaries.
this would be the second time i watched it.

Laura Linney is spot on as a socialite mom.
she's the only reason i re-watched this thing.

not too overdone, subtle.
brilliant.

she portrayed the fakeness of a socialite,
how self-conscious they are,
absolutely perfectly.

Scarlett Johansson, however.
uhhhmmm...not too stellar.
her acting seems rushed.

she's always garbling along
all her lines until they lose all their impact.
no depth, really. not much.

very basic.

and that kid playing Grayer
can't touch Haley Joel Osment in his Sixth Sense days.
he was just hired cuz he was cute.

But it was a cute movie.
i only wish a certain someone could watch it
and learn a thing or two.

you don't need to know who that someone is.

in fact,
all indonesian social moms need to watch this movie.
i think the children have become more of an accessory
than actual flesh and blood.

i mean,
when your hair and/or botox matter more than
your little girl or your little boy,
you need to take a step back,

and cancel those appointments.

now, back to the gold book.

A TRIP OF OPPOSITES

2008-12-09T22:18:00.002+07:00

STRAWBERRIES AND SALT

CAMERON HIGHLANDS and PANGKOR ISLANDS
MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

my bones creak when i move them.
i am soooooooooo beat.

but it was a gorgeously awesome trip.
i brought a camera along with me,
but i took no pictures whatsoever.

"whaaaat!? why would you do that!!?"
"that's pointless!!!"
"stupid!!!!!"
some of you would say.

i beg to differ.

i read somewhere that,
with the advent of Facebook
and a plethora of other similar things on the internet,
we spend most of our lives documenting our experiences
rather than living them.

we take like 1000 pictures of our trips
post them on Facebook and then
leaf through them to relive memories.

but what memories are we reliving?
what do we remember?

nothing.

all we remember is:
"oh yeah, i took this picture there."

no memory of the emotions,
the colors, the sounds
that we experienced while we were there.

in fact, if it weren't for the pictures,
we wouldn't even believe that we were there in the first place.

a picture speaks a thousand words.
but memories speak more.

so i have stopped my habit of
taking a bajillion pictures
and just experience things with my own senses.

even though i feel a biting itch to take a picture,
i fight it.

so that i don't have to experience life through a viewfinder.
hence, no pictures.
my camera stayed in my bag throughout this trip.

and so, here i begin.
to tell you about a most wonderful trip.
***

STRAWBERRIES
CAMERON HIGHLANDS

day 1
the first thing i felt when i arrived,
was cold. it was soooo cold.

not as cold as London,
but immediately close behind.

it was cold and rainy and wet.
the worst combination ever.
especially for me.
i get cold real easily.

my first reaction was to get out my camera.
but i steadied my hands.
"no." i thought, "use your eyes."

so i sat there,
in the back of the rented white MyVi
and used my eyes.

everything around me was beautiful.
the clouds, the trees, the wind.

breathtaking.

i didn't pay much attention to
the warnings of our friend Diaz,
who'd been there before
to scout for the location for
the movie we're shooting, that

"these roads wind around like crazy.
it'll knock around your stomachs something fierce.
let's hope no one throws up, okay?"

and he was right,
the roads snaked around the mountains
in huge twisty S shapes.

i was too taken by the scenery
that i barely paid attention.
which was lucky.
otherwise i would've puked.
(which i did on the road home)

you have to see it to believe
how beautiful everything was.

it makes you feel happy to see nature alive and well,
and yet it also makes you feel sad because
it's only a matter of time before the beautiful scenery
is raped by human hands to make way
for another ridiculous condo.

there were mist on the tips of the trees,
and bamboo shoots sprouted from amongst
the bushy trees like little toothpicks.

and the sunlight poured from the gaps
in the leaves like melted gold.

i was going crazy.
drunk from so much beauty.

i haven't gotten close to
any of the cast members sharing the car with me.
so i stayed mostly quiet.

i was a little intimidated.
i kept thinking that they didn't really like me.
(but eventually, i found out that they were all really really nice)

the apartment that we stayed in was nice and clean.
the view from our window was...well, not to our liking
(some kind of shrine for a departed loved one)
so we kept the curtains closed at all times and the lights on.

i got the top bunk,
and i was so tired from the journey
that the second i touched the mattress,

i slept.

day 2
we were all woken up bright and early by the crew.
the first destination was a Strawberry Farm somewhere up the road.

i've never been to s strawberry farm,
so i was really excited.

when we arrived, it's not like how i expected.
i thought there would be rows and rows
of bushes with strawberries growing off them.
something like how a tea plantation looks like.

it wasn't like that,
but it was still very cool.

there were rows upon rows
of teeny tiny strawberry bushes
growing out of cute little pots.

the little rows were on little hills
connected with thin bridges
that only had banisters on one of its sides.

i kept stealing strawberries and eating them,
you're not suposed to do that.

hee hee.

i found out that the berries
of the strawberry plant grew out of the centers of the flowers.
after the flower wilts and loses all of its petals,
the yellow centers continue to grow bigger and bigger.
eventually it turns green and adopts a fruit-like shape.
and then it becomes redder and redder until finally
it has morphed into a tasty red strawberry!

lots of things grew around the farm.
there were yellow lilies, and lots of fairytale moss.
i found a fossilized empty skin of a milipede.
i suspect that milipede is somewhere in the farm.
having grown to be several inches long.

there was a cool clear-water stream
flowing in the middle of the farm.
the crew that had to jump into the water
to hold boom mikes said that the water
was cold like melted ice.

the farm sells lots of strawberry-based stuff,
like strawberry tarts, strawberry muffins,
strawberry cheesecake and strawberry juice.

the strawberry juice was good,
but i wished they could strain it a little bit
because the little seeds make me choke.

the strawberry cheesecake was good,
but it was more of a normal cake than a cheesecake.

during a break, in which my character wasn't in a shot,
i sat on one of the plastic stools that we brought along
and just stared at the scenery.

perhaps playing Joe Hisaishi songs in my head.
it was great. although somewhat anti-social?
but i didn't stay too quiet.
i cheered on my castmates as they acted their parts.

at the time,
my friend Vinta was doing his most difficult scene.

after the strawberry farm,
we went on to do scenes at a rented villa.
the view from this villa was reminiscent
to the Kusakabe house in Totoro.

it had rows of vegetables growing in the front yard,
down a small cliff shrouded in short guava trees
and amarillis flowers.

in the distance, were tall, tall, tall pinetrees against the sky.
downhill was a small community of houses and
a tiny road that went downwards and around the hill.

inside the villa, however, wasn't too pretty.
it was dark and dank and very creepy.
i'll tell you why in a little bit.

day 3
we went to film at a nearby waterfall.
preceding said waterfall,
was a short jungle trek.
ohhhh this jungle trek.
i swear i trekked through heaven.

a path ran through a natural jungle
and all around me were untamed trees.

i had my phone with me
and played Joe Hisaishi's music for Princess Mononoke.

and i swear.
there is nothing in the entire world that
could parallel the pleasure i felt during that time.

when we finally reached the waterfall,
we had to climb down an unofficial path
down to the stones in the water.

the path was slippery and full of bugs and spiders.
but something in me made me believe that it was okay.
nature won't hurt me. i haven't done anything to hurt her.

normally, i would have been deathly afraid to see
a spider the size of a 20cent coin pass me by.

the waters of the waterfall was cold and fresh.
but i couldn't stop thinking about the tiger
that the crew members told me about.

earlier on, when they were still scouting for locations,
the crew found a footprint of a tiger.
and i spent the whole shoot imagining
what we could do if a tiger came.

there was no way to escape quickly.
and the stones in the water
would kill us if we tried to swim.

it was bleak.

but when i don't think of the tiger,
it was fun.

the rest of the day was spent filming at the villa.
it felt kind of boring and uninteresting.
in fact, downright creepy.

and later on, i find out why.
apparently, the villa was haunted!

AARGH!!

and later on,
some cast and crew shared stories of unexpected encounters.

Angga, the documentary photographer of the trip,
was smoking on the patio
when something stuck its head out
and peeked at him from under the house.
(the villa stood on stilts like a traditional Malay house)

he also accidentally photographed
a mysterious face on a mirror in one of the rooms.

a crew member, Anto,
was holding a camera, shooting a scene
where my two castmates,
Mia and Tessa were laughing
and talking at the door
(they play bestfriends in the movie)
and Anto was shocked to see something
quickly pass by the in front of the camera.
he saw it in the monitor.

Tessa, a cast member,
could feel the presence of things
and see their forms in her mind.
she saw a mysterious being squat on a table and leer at her. grinning.
she also felt about five people inside the creepy toilet.

day 4
we went to the tea plantation.
it was beauuuuuuutiful.

it was a hot day,
so shooting among the rows of tea bushes
and going up and downhill repeatedly
was irritating,

but when all of the shoot was finished
and i just sat there staring at the scenery,
it was bliss.

i regret very much not trying the Cameronian tea.
in fact, i regret not having tea at all.

but the view...
ah. too beautiful.

after the tea plantation,
we gathered all our things
and headed home.

i felt fine at first.
but then one of the cars broke down.
and that was when things took a turn for the worst.

we stopped at a gas station somewhere along the trip.
and then, i slipped on some rainwater and gasoline
and soaked myself in it.
if anyone lighted a fire near me i would die.

freaking out, i changed clothes.
i put the gasoline soaked clothes in the boot.
the smell made me nauseous.
i was fighting it soo hard that
i forgot to notice the beautiful sunbathed view around me.

but i had had sugary snacks
and the road down was a twisty-windy road,
i couldn't take it.

and so i gave in.
and filled en entire plastic bag.
and THAT was the end of my Cameron Highlands trip.
***

SALT
PANGKOR ISLANDS

day 1
i had had a wonderful time in Cameron Highlands,
so i expected the Pangkor trip to suck.
something good is always followed by something bad.
that's what i always say.

it had started off bad.
i was angry because i left my earphones behind
after painstakingly putting songs in my phone for the trip.

the bus played annoying retro music
and it was played LOUD AND PROUD.

i tried hard to sleep it off. when i woke up,
Sin City was playing on the TV in the bus.
i tried to ignore it, but was intrigued since i never watched it.
the yellow villain made me nauseous.

after the 5-hour bus trip,
we had to take a ferry.
the ferry was smelly with lots of flies
and a Chinese-dubbed HUNTER x HUNTER episode was on.

it was so annoying.
once again, i slept it off.

when we arrive, things began to look up.

we rode on this strange but cute
pale pink and yellow coloured vans.
(what a color scheme for public transportation!)

we rode along a road with walls of leaves on both sides.
the sea was visible behind the leaves and trees.
we then arrive in this tiny "village" of sorts.

its not the cleanest place in the world,
but it was very cozy.

everything was within walking distance,
and there were absolutely no tall buildings.
and you could never ever get lost.

we stopped at this blue and white hotel
and after dropping off all our stuff,
departed to a small island in the middle of the sea.

this island was called Coral Island.
the water was clear and you could see
little fish and crabs camouflaging themselves in the sand.

there was a forest behind the beach,
but i didn't want to go there.
it seemed somewhat ominous.

beautiful, but ominous.

that night,
we ate at this tragic place.

they played obnoxious outdated Dangdut music while we ate.
we tried to ignore it (although some of us embraced it, like Ichuy)
and searched in the dark distance for a flickering light.

some crew boys stayed at the Coral Island to guard our props and tent.
we found a tiny flickering light.
we guessed it was their bonfire.

we hoped they're okay.

day 2
i played in the swings that hung
from the canopy of trees on the shore side with Tessa.
it was oodles of fun!

i wish i had a huge tree of my own
from which i could install a big swing.
that'd be wonderful.

Anto caught a crab today.
it was still young, so its shell was soft.
i poked it. squishy.

i pranced around running away
from the crew members who wanted to smother me with sunblock.
but in the end they caught me.

SKIN CANCER!!! they said.

OH! and i felt what it was like to be buried in sand!
it was sooooo heavy.

but even though it was very hot outside,
under the sand was cool and nice.

but they buried me with my toes pointed,
so that was very painful.
i lost feeling in my ankles
and had trouble moving them afterwards.

and then, when we were supposed to film a sunset,
THEY MAROONED US ON A DESERTED ISLAND!!!!

seriously, this island was so creepy.
it was empty but it had like these little huts
with no one living in them.

the reason we were on this island
was that we could see the sunset better from here
(since the boatman can't let us off at the stones
near the forest since the water was perilous)
and we were marooned there for an hour.

there were no light other than the sun
and that too was beginning to fade.

so it became darker and darker.
and the water was closing in on us.
AND THE ISLAND STANK POOP.

i was so scared.

and later on,
Tessa told us that
she felt someone watching us from inside the huts.
someone or something.

day 3
we filmed at the mouth of a roadside forest.
WE WERE ATTACKED BY A LEGION OF LEECHES!!!!
i slapped one away from me.

and then we saw this foot-long milipede.
THAT was creepy.

nothing worth mentioning today in
terms of personal experience, iforgot my sandals,
so i walked barefoot all the way back from the beach.

painful. and icky.
the road near a dumpster was covered in monkey poop.

the best thing of the day was, we ate grilled corn.
it was the best grilled corn ever.
it was grilled with butter, salt and pepper.
absolutely taaaaaaasty.

and afterwards,
us girls and a few of the guys went for
a big dinner together at Mak Tam's.
tasty place than Tessa and I discovered the day before.

i tell ya,
the waiter in this place wants to bite your head off.
they're so mean.
but the food's brilliant.

while waiting for the food to come,
(which takes a loooong time at Mak Tam's)
me and crew member Alda
went for a little shopping.

i wanted to get something nice
and Alda wants to cheer herself up
because her shirt washed away with the waves earlier in the evening.
i bought this loud-coloured sundress thing.

after the hearty dinner of tasty fish, squid and chicken, t
he girls opened up a massage parlour.
everyone who's aching and fatigued flocked
to get a nice massage from Alda and Tessa. t

he photographer Angga,
who's the most sought-after masseuse during our trips,
joined in to massage people.

i just sat and watched Enchanted.
PIP IS SOOOO CUUUUUTE!!!!

day 4
swam in the beach with Alda.
just played in the waves, nothing special.
met a little yellow fishy.
the fishy was enjoying the waves too.

after buying a hearty snack of banana balls, fried bananas,
fish sticks and burgers,
(that was supposedly for the bus ride
but was all finished before we even got to the bus)

we all went home.
and that's the end of my Pangkor trip.
***

now, back to the gold book.

BLKD

2008-11-29T03:14:00.004+07:00

CAMERA ROLLING...

OH MY FLAMING G-STRINGS!!!

i am here, typing this post,
all the while i stand T- 2 hours until we begin shooting!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!
i am so nervous its outta sight.

i couldn't sleep. i stayed up all night,
i'm so crazy excited.

i'm just so terrified that i'll fail.
i dunno what's up, but i haven't acted in a while,
so it's all rather rusty.

i think.

throughout the reading it hasn't been very good.
everyone else seems to nail it.
except for me.

i'm so nervous i'm gonna fail.
i'm so nervous i'm gonna let everybody down.

i'm scared.
but oh well.

BREAK A LEG!!!!

now, back to the gold book.

EEK AND EGADS!

2008-11-26T04:35:00.009+07:00

A RATHER TRECHEROUS COUP D'ETAT
AND OTHER NATURAL OCCURENCES

aaaalright,
so it has been a rather EDUCATIONAL day for me yesterday.

right after that Marilyn Monroe entry,
i laid around lazily and decided to put some nature programs on.

so while i was lying on the couch, about half asleep,
and barely able to move because i was so weak from not sleeping,

Animal Planet decided to run a special coverage on
the deadliest snakes on the planet.
one of which, is the Black Mamba.

there was this one account of this South African man
who got bitten by one of these guys.

he was declared braindead by the doctors who examined him
and the only thing keeping him alive were breathing machines.

so they all thought he was dead,
but he was alive and could see everything that was going on!
however, since the venom paralyzed him, he couldn't move.
so no one knew he was actually alive.

creeeeeeeeepy.

i learned so much about the Black Mamba,
that i was inspired to base a story around them.

i was intrigued by their darkness,
their mystery.

and ALSO!
i finally caught an episode of Meerkat Manor.
it's sooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and i learned that BITCHES,
transcend species.

so there's this meerkat named Punk.
who's a sister to dominant female, Lola.

so poor Lola got bit by a Puff Adder snake,
(and i actually know what that is thanks to
the snake coverage beforehand)
and she's weakening a lot, because the venom
disintegrates the flesh so that's a WHOLE lotta painful.

and Punk, having envied her sister's position for a long time,
decided to ATTACK HER!!!!

she staged a coup d'etat and attacked her sister
while she's in her most vulnerable condition.
so of course, defeat was certain.

and Punk managed to dethrone her.
she is now the dominant female.

as if that wasn't enough!!!!!!

Punk decides to steal her man, too!
she cozies up to Frank, Lola's husband.
and Frank responded happily to her advances.

POOR LOLA!!!!!

but then, Punk proved how
much of a BITCH she really is.

she leaves Frank
for his BROTHER.

see? it's so crazy right!?
if it weren't for the cute fuzzy animals running about,
i'd think it was an episode of Bold and Beautiful.

moral of the story?
no matter what the species,
there will always be bitches.

and no,
i don't mean female dogs.

hmmmm what else?
oh yeah!

there's this show called Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern
the host, well of course, is Andrew Zimmern.
and i LOVE him.

he's so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute.
he reminds me of my junior in Highschool, Abhi Guda.

well, okay, not NOW.
cuz now Abhi's all grown up and stuff.
all tall and NOT BALD. won't be surprised if he has a girlfriend.
(mental note to ask him about that)
hmm, quite miss him actually.

wonder if his voice has changed.
i should visit MKIS soon.

anyway, here's Andrew Zimmern.
the cutest most adorable
teddy beary man i've ever seen.

LURVE em.

and OH, EW.
the WORST possible thing i learned about,
was the Botfly.

i DO NOT want to post disgusting images on my blog,
(the bloody maggoty thing you see there is as far as i go)
so i'm just going to explain what the Botfly is.

and why its the worst thing i've learned about.

okay, so there's the Botfly.
its a species of fly who catches male mosquitoes
and lays their eggs inside their stomach.

but the mosquito doesn't die.
the mosquito is still free to bite us poor humans

and when they do,
one of the eggs get transported into our bodies.

and inside our bodies, the egg hatches
and the little maggot hooks itself onto the flesh
with teeny tiny hook-like teeth
and then feeds on the flesh.

it doesn't do this forever though,
and it won't be as bad as a snake bite
and it won't cause some horrible disease,

because eventually the maggot grows
into an adult Botfly and flies out of our body.

however, its quite painful to keep a fly larva
feeding on your flesh, so most people like to take it out.

UNFORTUNATELY,
when you do it incorrectly,
you run the risk of the larva breaking in half
and this might cause an infection.

and that will cause some crazy disease.

now, back to the gold book.

AGENDAS, AGENDAS

2008-11-25T06:05:00.022+07:00

BOMBSHELLS AND BLISTERS

first and foremost,
i had a photoshoot just recently with my good friends Michael Cools, Cathleya Cools and Hasan Alatas. Boy i tell ya. this photoshoot began at 2 AM and finished at 9.30 AM in the morning.

crazy, huh?

but anyway, this photoshoot was done to showcase the amazing stylings of Intania Rackitta's makeup skills. they've decided to do three sets of pretty elaborate makeup on my face.

I TELL YA. it was soooooo unbelievable!
they turned me completely around! i didn't recognize myself! heck, i couldn't!
they made me a total bombshell!!!!

here, see for yourself.

a Michael Cools original,
www.mikeizer44.deviantart.com

a Michael Cools original,
www.mikeizer44.deviantart.com

a Michael Cools original,
www.mikeizer44.deviantart.com

of course, i WAS NOT topless on those shots.
he just made me raise my shoulders and stuff so that it would look like i was.

and what was CRAZY about that shoot, was that my body pretty much malfunctioned throughout the duration of it.

so the shoot was pretty much divided into three parts,
the first make up, which was the green
second, which was the red
and third, which was the blue.

and while i had the green makeup on me, my eyes continuously watered. it was so unexplainable why my eyes continued to water, but it did. and there were no tissues around, so i had to wipe it with a make up sponge. and it still continued to water! and i think it washed away about half of the make up off half my face. aaaaahhh...i dunno.

while i had the red makeup on me, my eyes were watering less, but then my nose began to run. i had to wipe my nose and blot the tears away! it made the shoot longer than it should have been!

and finally while i had the blue makeup, my nose watered heavily and NONSTOP. it was sooooooooooooo annoying.

but it turned out grrrreat! thankfully.

and speaking of bombshells,
i saw the bombshell of bombshells herself,
the great and wonderful Ms. Marilyn Monroe,

playing Elsie Marina on
The prince and The Showgirl.

sure,
the movie was airy romantic comedy at best,
(the only thing worth mentioning was
stellar acting by Sybil Thorndike as the Queen Dowager
the funniest thing in the whole comedy)
but you could plainly see why EVERYONE
woman or man, go absolutely GAGA over Ms. Monroe.

she's sooooooo beautiful.
and she's so cute and perky!
totally adorable.

although,
i think that it's a little off-putting how she totally
submits to her image being completely oversexed.

she's so beautiful as is,
(well, perhaps not without the makeup but nevertheless)
she really doesn't need to be NAKED, or wearing really revealing things.

BUT. . .
that is the Marilyn mark.
she wouldn't be Marilyn Monroe
if she was anything less than
what she was, sexy.

Marilyn Monroe is no Audrey Hepburn,
Marilyn Monroe is no Lauren Bacall,
Marilyn Monroe is MARILYN MONROE.

no one, and i mean NO ONE,
(not even Lindsay Lohan)
could be or replace the woman that was Ms. Marilyn Monroe.

may she rest in peace.

i also watched Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium earlier today
and it was good.

it has soooooooooo much potential!!!! but as good as it was, it could have been better,
i didn't think the director brought out the story's true potential.
the toy store, to me, seemed a little less magical and a little more Toys 'R' Us.
which, in my opinion, probably was not the intention of the story.

and the movie seemed a little dry and rushed.
it could have been a lot more emotional if only it was paced a lot better.
and many unnecessary subplots and side characters,
there was really not an urgent NEED for Eric or Henry TOGETHER.
one of them would have done enough for the movie.

all in all, i did think it was a good movie,
very pretty performance by Natalie Portman
and Dustin Hoffman made for a very lovable Mr. Magorium.

but i just didn't think it wasn't magical enough.
didn't quite hit the mark.

OOH OOH!!!!
you know what? i have been bitten by ants.
yes, it seems as though they have become so starving
that they have decided to eat ME!!

they creep inside my clothes, nibbling at me left and right,
leaving itchy blisters behind.

it's so ANNOYING.
and its one of those tiny ants, so i can't feel them when they crawl on me.
cheeky little ants!!!

now, back to the gold book.

THE END OF FINALS SEASON

2008-11-23T12:18:00.003+07:00

I AM SUPERSTUDENT!!!!!

ohmigodohmigodohmigod.....!!!!!!
you know what? last week was FINALS season and me and my friends were going crazy in last-minute attempts to finish our late assignments. and i suppose...i suppose...our lecturers are tired of it and they decided to give us some shock treaments.

THEY THREATENED THEY WERE GOING TO FAIL US.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so we stayed awake like 72 hours to finish our assignments and had to hand it in before 9 AM on the day. and we managed it!! i canNOT tell you how relieved i was.

oh it was unbelievable those 72 hours.
i had to stay up whilst caring for my sick friend who was getting sicker by the minute and at the same time, trying not to let my self get sick. OOOOHH it was insane.

and when it was all over, and i finally had my well-deserved sleep,
i woke up with a sore throat and the beginnings of a cold.
my body finally gave in.

i hope i won't get as sick as i was during Raya, cuz that was horrible.
HORRIBLE. never never never ever ever never again.

oh ja! we're gonna roll camera on that Teh 'O' Ais movie soon.
wish me luck! i'm really confused on my role.
one day i have a good grip on it,
others i lose it.

break a leg!

now, back to the gold book.

GRUNTLES AND GRIPES

2008-11-16T00:53:00.014+07:00

OH GOODNESS ME !

well, my tardiness has reached peak point.
i missed a flight today and it was CAH-RAZY.

okay, so i went to the airport this morning.
all leisure-like, not realizing i was SO late.

and then we got there, and when i got to the counter, the lady was all like:
"miss, your flight is 01:40, now is 01:45. your plane departed."

i panicked.
i've never missed a flight in my life.
(i blame my hectic assignments!!! i blame YOU Aaron!!!!)

and then she added:
"we have next flight, 02:50, if you can catch it miss.
you have to buy tickets at sales counter."

and after some fumbling with the ATM that involves me
screaming at my boyfriend and him screaming back at me out of exasperation,
i finally got my ticket.

then, there were so many people crowding the counters
and i didn't know which counter i was supposed to go to. so i asked this lady.
she was impervious to how in a hurry i was.

i gave her my ticket so she could see my flight number,
then she got distracted by a colleague and they began chit-chatting.
i had about fifteen minutes to get on my plane.
i had to snap little missy out of it.

by the time i got to my counter, the guy began calling:
"alright, next person, TAWAU."

i ain't goin to no TAWAU!!!
(Wikipedia: Tawau is a city in Sabah, Malaysia)

i begged the guy and he sent me to his officer because he couldn't help me.
luckily, my boyfriend was already there and thanks to his immaculate people skills,
he got me on that plane!!!!
seriously, he single-handedly got me on that plane.

if it weren't for him,
i'd be penny-pinching someone trying to buy a third ticket to another flight
(that i might miss AGAIN)

so i am forever indebted to him.
oh my GAWD i love this man. i love him so very much.
he is the absolute best of the rest.

and in other news...
i watched Miss Potter recently
and i cried the whole way through the movie.
the whole thing was just so me.

a dad that's always busy, but always cares about my work,
a mum that doesn't really know about my talents and wants me to marry someone good,
no one being interested in my work.

that's all so me.

but seeing how Miss Potter went about her endeavours
and finally receives the success she so rightly deserves,
has kind of given me a second wind.

why? because it's true.
it's not just a movie, it's true.

Miss Beatrix Potter became a best-selling Children's book author. even until today.
everyone still loves her work.

i could only dream of having my book line the bookshelves.
have mums and dads read them for their children before bedtime.
have them cherished.

will i be the next Beatrix Potter?
could i be?

now, back to the gold book.

A RANDOM BLURB. . .

2008-11-14T05:06:00.006+07:00

YOU MUST NOT FORGET THE SUSPENDERS

you'll only understand the title of this post if you've read "Just So Stories".
its a gorgeous little children's book, a total classic. it's written by Rudyard Kipling and was dedicated for his daughter Josephine (who passed away when she was just six, the poor dear.)

basically this book is about how animals came to be how they are today. like, how the leopard got its spots, why whales only eat small fish, and so on so forth. its so cute. and Mr. Kipling drew all these fancy illustrations, its gorgeous.

a lot of people on the bus stop made fun of me for reading a children's book.
bah, who cares. at least i can understand the book. if i gave it to them, they wouldn't know what the hell the first two sentences mean. it is old english grammar.

but anyway, for book appreciators who want a light and entertaining read,
this book is a definite pick up.

now, back to the gold book.

WHAT'S NEW WITH STUDIO GHIBLI?

2008-11-11T10:12:00.002+07:00

GAKE NO UE NO PONYO
PONYO ON THE CLIFF

i dunno if i'm excited about the new Miyazaki movie. OH MY GOD, ALIA HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!!? BLASPHEMY BLASPHEMY BLASPHEMY!!!! DIE DIE DIE!!! yeah, i know what you're thinking. being a so-called "biggest fan" i should be worshipping anything that comes out of the Miyazaki-sensei brainfactory.

but looking at the trailer, i'm really not all that aroused. firstly, i don't think the fish girl is all that cute. well, not in the trailer anyway. and i can't really imagine what magic could be spun of a story about a boy, a bucket and a fish girl. hmmmm.

i dunno.
could it trump Spirited Away?

but then again, back when Miyazaki Goro attempted Tales of Earthsea (yes, ATTEMPTED) it turned out to be a complete flop in my opinion. and i was sooooooooooo excited when i saw the trailer. it looked so good and the music was heaven.

on the flipside, i wasn't excited at all when i saw the Spirited Away DVD cover. a girl and a pig? oh my god, what could be so interesting about a farm girl? was what i thought. hoo boy, was i sorely mistaken. i was SO sorely mistaken that i'm still rubbing ointment on that sore.

so maybe my not being excited about this upcoming movie would mean that it would once again smash my world to pieces with its greatness, like Spirited Away did. so i'm just waiting with high hopes!!

plus, that magician-looking person with the red hair looks to be a promising incentive.
hee hee.

now, back to the gold book.

THE OBLIGATORY FIRST POST

2008-11-11T09:43:00.002+07:00

WELCOME TO SUNSHINE COUNTRY

hi blog.
so this is my first post.

i'm not really sure why i created you. especially since i'm incredibly lazy when it comes to updating things like you (and i frustrate myself on that front.) but i guess, at one point, i just decided that i need something to vent my grievances onto. especially since i have no one who is interested to hear about my work.

i've decided to no longer bug anyone about it. but i didn't wanna talk to myself either (cuz i'm not that psycho just yet), so i did the next best thing.

make you.
even though you're esentially the same as talking to myself only with pretty colors and pictures and music. but i say it's worth it for the prettiness! but i suppose that's not the only reason i created you. of course nooooot. you have way more purpose than that, my sweet.

at some point, (there's a lot of points floating about in the ceiling of my room) i also decided to chronicle my misadventures in attempting to propel my work into the outside world in published form. but that's not the main purpose of my writing. yes, it'd be nice if i could inspire children or the inner child in everyone. it'd be wonderful if my book ends up being read by a mother before bedtime. that'd be just heaven.

but the purpose of publishing my writing, is to give it to Miyazaki Hayao-sensei.
oh come on, don't laugh just yet.

you see, i've always wanted to meet him. always, always, always. ever since my eldest sister Muna brought me back a VHS tape of "My Neighbor Totoro". that was the very first second that he opened a brand new door in my life. a door that was always there but i never saw.

this is gonna be cheesy, but ever since that door opened, i found magic in everyday corners. even in the most mundane, most sombre and most disgusting places. my life has never been the same. i can live through any problem life flings in my face.

and i've decided that one day, i WILL meet him. i will try my very best, i will claw through Japan until i find him. but then, you know....i realized something.

so i meet Miyazaki-sensei. and then what? is it going to just be like:
"OHMIGOD MIYAZAKI HAYAOOOOOOO!!! I AM LIKE, YOUR NUMBER ONE BIGGEST FAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

that's so lame.
i'll be one in like sixty trillion of number one biggest fans.

so i decided to give him something when i do meet him. but what? i racked my brain. what? what? what? what??? a drawing? no, not good enough. i meet the person who inspired my life and i give him a lame drawing? ESPECIALLY when he draws waaaaay better than me?

what a way to demean someone. he'll just use my drawing to wipe his sneeze.
and i'll probably want him to because i know the drawing will be so crap.

so i continued to think. and then it came to me: i will give him a novel. i will write this novel from start to finish, i will shed blood sweat and tears until i see it published, and then i will go and present it to him as a gift. (i'll try and make sure the novel is translated).

i decided it would be the perfect thing. i don't care whether he reads it or uses it to steady a rocky table, but i want him to have it. to show him what he has done for my life. to show him that his works mean the world to me.

impossible dream? maybe.
but possible things can't be dreams if they are just that. possible.

so wish me luck!!!!!!!

now, back to the gold book.