a beautiful journey

“It is better to travel well than to arrive.” ~ Buddha

Post written by Kevin Tyler Smith. Connect with me on Twitter. I always enjoy meeting new people.

I would like to introduce you to a new medium. It is an accounting of one of the most beautiful journeys to which anyone can commence.

To be quite honest, it might not be consciously apparent to some but everyone needs this journey, everyone seeks this journey. It is the journey of peace…of mind and with self.

Since the inception of Promethean Life, I have received an overwhelming outpouring from my readers here and I am eternally grateful. However, I have realized what consistently resonates with most is the uplifting of the human existence from the murky residue of a life absent of peace or without harmony can induce.

This ironically allowed me to experience my very own epiphany that I am no stranger to this intrinsic need of a quiet mind…I’m only human, right? I’m on a journey to peace with self as well. It’s evident, we all have battles to quell with ourselves.

I pondered my next move quite extensively. Promethean Life is my baby and I realize tremendous personal growth while being the benevolent gatekeeper here. The lingering questions I had were, “How can I create sustainable growth in all areas while retaining a core sense of identity while I travel through life?” and “How can I authentically define and record this manner of traveling?”

Ultimately, I wanted the synthesis of my manner of traveling to be documented and shared. With a vision of fulfillment and a journey rooted in something deeper, the origin of my legacy project was born…welcome to Guarding Shalom.

What will this new resource help you find?

• Completeness
• Wholeness
• Health
• Peace
• Welfare
• Safety
• Soundness
• Tranquility
• Prosperity
• Perfectness
• Fullness
• Rest
• Harmony
• The absence of agitation
• The absence of discord

Now you may ask, will I continue writing for Promethean Life? The short answer, yes. I will continue striving to keep Promethean Life fresh albeit in a little different manner. Although I love helping people with unconventional tips for life, it is evident to me that there are other voices out there in which we are kindred spirits in our love of helping people.

I will be opening the doors for those who would like to share and be a part of this community. So if you have a fire for helping people and would like to get more exposure by guest posting here, I encourage you to go here for all the details.

Thanks for your loyal support my friends, it means the world to me.

____________

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making the impossible possible

“Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.” ~ Doug Larson

Post written by Kevin Tyler Smith. Connect with me on Twitter. I always enjoy meeting new people.

No matter what game or activity I concocted as I entertained myself as a child, I was always the difference maker in the outcome. As long as I had the ball in my hand in the closing seconds, I was the one making the improbable clutch play for the win.

Without hesitation, my imaginary team scooped me up onto their shoulders as we paraded off the field celebrating the victory with unbridled joy. I was the “hero of the day”. I made the impossible play possible.

I’m sure I’m not alone. I would imagine even you have played out this little scenario at least once or twice eh? Come on, tell the truth. You know you have.

Everyone at some point of his or her life has dreamed of being somebody special, somebody big. Who hasn’t fantasized about being the one who hits the game-winning homer? Who hasn’t dreamed of being the homecoming queen? And how many times have we dreamed of being rich or successful or happy with our relationships?

A sad turn of events

Often we dream big dreams and have huge aspirations. Unfortunately, our inspired dreams remain just that – dreams. And our aspirations have been sequestered to collect dust in the closet or our imagination.

This is a sad turn of events in our life. Instead of experiencing exciting adventures in self actualization, we get caught up in the humdrum of living from day-to-day just barely existing.

But you know what? Life could be so much different if only we learned to aim higher.

The most common problem to seeing dreams to reality is the word impossible. Most people get hung up thinking: I can’t do this. It’s too hard. It’s too impossible. Nobody has ever done this before so I know this is not feasible. However, if everyone thought that, there would be no inventions, no innovations and no breakthroughs in human achievement.

For instance,

• If you told someone a hundred years ago that it was possible for man to walk on the moon, they would laugh at you.
• If you had told them that you could send mail from here to the other side of the world in a few seconds, they would say you were out of your mind. But through sheer desire and perseverance, these impossible dreams are now reality.
• Remember that scientists were baffled when they took a look at the humble bumblebee. Theoretically, they said, it was impossible for the bumblebee to fly. Unfortunately for the bumblebee, no one has told it so. So fly it does.

Some people suffer from having big beautiful world changing visions and not acting on them. The result? Broken dreams and tattered aspirations. If you limit yourself with self-doubt and self-limiting assumptions, you will never be able to break past what you deem impossible. If you reach too far out into the sky without attempting any effort toward your vision, you will find yourself clinging on to the impossible dream.

Try this little exercise

Take a piece of paper and write down some goals in your life. Under one header, jot down things ‘you know you can do’. Under another header, write the things ‘you might be able to do’. And under one more, list the things that are ‘impossible for you to do’.

Now look at all the headers. Strive each day to progressively move forward on that which are under things ‘you know you can do’. Check them when you are able to accomplish them. As you slowly are able to check all of your goals under that heading, try accomplishing the goals under the other header – the one that reads ‘you might be able to do’.

Of the items you wrote under things you might be able to do are accomplished, you can move the goals that are under things that are ‘impossible for you to do’ to the list of things ‘you might be able to do’. As you iterate through this process, you will find out that the goals you thought were impossible become easier to accomplish. Eventually, the impossible begin to seem possible after all.

The object of this little exercise is help condition your mind to not limit your imagination. It is to aim high and start working toward that which you deem impossible little by little.

So dream on my friend. Think big, be big. The pitch is coming….now swing!

____________

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they are aiming for you

“Your problem is you’re… too busy holding onto your unworthiness.”
~ Ram Dass

Post written by Kevin Tyler Smith. Connect with me on Twitter. I always enjoy meeting new people.

No where has my opinion of myself been more under attack than when I was in college. There at university in the big city I was introduced to a larger cadre of personalities and talents that challenged my original beliefs of my value established in my once small enclave.

Just about every single thing I had known Kevin Tyler Smith to be was defiantly challenged. Before then at one time I was one of the: most intelligent, most amusing, most jocular, best dressed, best dancers, best singers, best basketball players and most likely to get the girl.

Without warning, my world came tumbling down as I was introduced and exposed to a much larger environment. Ironically, as my world became larger, I grew smaller. I was devalued and became inferior – at least in my mind – as all of my former strengths met their match.

Do you have a low opinion of yourself? Are you always questioning the value of your worth as a person? Do you feel as though others have no respect for what you do? Are you always comparing yourself to others and ignoring the unique value that you have?

If you answered with a resounding yes to any or all of these questions, your self esteem has been under attack. Poor self esteem feeds your negative thinking and causes you to believe what you perceive what others make of you.

It’s a mad, mad world

It’s no secret that we live in a very tough environment where the level of respect received is equated to your status, how well you’re dressed, what car you drive or how much money you make. In the absence of these, we are constantly trying to prove our worth as a human being, whether it’s to a third party or proving it to ourselves. Some days we win, then others we fail miserably at convincing ourselves and others that we are of value.

Sadly, this is an exercise that is carried out on a day to day basis. We awake each morning with a clean slate with a mission to prove our worth.

“If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.”  ~ Author Unknown

Constantly going through this waxing and waning exercise can play havoc on our self esteem. We torment ourselves to the point of not realizing that we can break this cycle and believing that we are of worth, no matter who we are, what we have to offer, what we have to say or no matter how much money we make.

So how can you maintain high self esteem?

Take a shot at this formula: Imagine yourself as a target board. Everything and everyone else around you may become arrows at one point or another. These arrows will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember.  Don’t let them destroy you or get the best of you.

So which arrows should you avoid?

• Arrow #1: Negative Work Environment – Beware of the “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions no matter how dedicated you are. Most of the time you end up working too much without getting help from people concerned.  Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem.
• Arrow #2: The Behavior Of Others – Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers….all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as your attitude.
• Arrow #3: Aversion To Change – You can’t be a green bug on a brown field? Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile and may cause stress but it will  help us find ways to improve ourselves. We have no choice here, change will be there forever…we must be open to it.
• Arrow #4: Past Experience – It’s OK to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake you experience as a lesson. Own it, learn from it, move on.
• Arrow #5: Negative World View – Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativity of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of unfavorable situations.
• Arrow #6: Self Identity Theory – The person you have become and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, your vocation, the economy or even your circle of friends. Remember, you have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience so you will never have to encounter the same mistakes.

We find ourselves perpetually defending our self worth. Sometimes it’s warranted and sometimes not. Why we bend over backwards at times to justify our value is a mystery. Maybe the culprit is our inherent fight or flight characteristics or the human impulse to be liked or to belong.  No matter where the onus falls in a negative opinion of self, it is sometimes painful to find meaning in….but more satisfying to know that you hold the cards for your own personal outlook.

____________

What Now? Stay in touch and stay connected – I recommend: The simple art of World Domination

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optimize your creative prowess

“Just as energy is the basis of life itself, and ideas the source of innovation, so is innovation the vital spark of all human change, improvement and progress.”
~ Ted Levitt

Post written by Kevin Tyler Smith. Connect with me on Twitter. I always enjoy meeting new people.

There I was sitting in my seat accepting Mr. Parker’s next assignment with sweet anticipation. When I heard all that the project entailed, I was like a kid in a candy shop. I’m sure I wasn’t alone though. I would imagine every person in that room who enjoyed the thrill of competition and the taste of victory could have used a mop for their desks from rapturous salivation.

Up until that moment, my 7^th grade wood shop class was mundane complete with all the lamps and bookends anyone would ever need. This next assignment changed the paradigm of what is possible. It opened new doors of expression, innovation and creativity that I was more than willing to enter.

The assignment?

The project was to design, draft and build a small scale CO2 race car then challenge your peers to a racing duel. My plan was to have the best of the best. I was going to crush this and every racer that stood in my path. So I set forth with the design where aerodynamics was my only focus. From the draft drawing I transformed that block of wood into an aerodynamic dream. There was no doubt in my mind, I was going to the “winner’s circle” baby. What happened next on race day goes something like this….

When it was time to lift the shroud and unveil all cars on race day, I did so with pride. I just knew I would have to ward off all gawkers wanting to catch a glimpse of my slick racing machine. However, my worst fears came to fruition. All praise rained down on a few other cars and mine was on the receiving end of some pretty hearty laughs.

Why? Even though my car would have gently cut through the wind, it was too bulky. I ran a deficit in creative prowess as I did not take into account the innovation required to reduce the car’s weight. On the contrary, I still think my car was pretty nifty even though it didn’t win a race. It simply was the victim of more inspired design and innovation. From this experience I had something to build on if I ever had to build a CO2 car again.

How to optimize your creativity…

Innovation is a talent that everyone has, yet most people are not convinced of that fact. If you’ve ever marvelled at someone’s creative prowess, guess what?, you can create and innovate too.  It just takes a bit of practice, time and a dash of experience to draw upon before this mind function comes easily when called.

The box of crayons in kindergarten were not limited to those who possessed potential – because the truth is, everybody has potential. By the way, do you remember how long it took you to learn to ride a bike or drive a car or to never commit the same mistake again? The same applies to innovation and creativity. Now it’s time to optimize this process.

1. Don’t listen to what other people say. Follow the beat of your own drum. Allowing for the input of other people will only bring cacophony to the music you are trying to make. If you have an original idea, don’t waste your time and effort trying to make people understand. They won’t. Plus, the help you will probably get will come in the form of negative feedback. If all those geniuses that walked before us listened to their peers, we would probably still be living in the middle ages.
2. Record your dreams. Aren’t some of them just the craziest things that your conscious mind would never have thought of? If you’ve had these dreams before and I’m sure you have, this only shows you the untapped innovative power you have lying within. Jot down those notes. Those dreams may just create an innovative spark in you.
3. Rock your own style. You can always tell a Van Gogh from a Matisse. You’ll know Hemingway wrote something by the choice of words on the paper. So it is the same with you. People will appreciate your innovation more because it is uniquely yours and that no one else would have thought of what you were thinking. That will let people see how valuable an asset you are.
4. Don’t hide behind nifty gadgets or tools. You don’t need the most expensive set of paints to produce a masterpiece. The same way with writing. You don’t need some expensive fountain pen and really smooth paper for a bestseller. In fact, J.K. Rowling wrote the first book of the Harry Potter series on bits of tissue. So what, if you’ve got an expensive digital camera? It’s not going to help if you’re a crappy photographer. Who cares if you’ve got a blinging laptop if you can’t write at all? The artist actually reduces the number of tools he has as he gets better at his craft. He knows what works and what doesn’t.
5. Don’t worry about inspiration. You can’t force it; inspiration hits when you least expect it to appear. For those unpredictable yet inevitable moments, you should prepare. An idea could strike you on the subway, yet alas you poor unfortunate soul, you have no sheet of paper to scribble down a thought that could change the world. Avoid these disasters. Have a pen and small pocket notebook within your arm’s reach at all times.

“The essential part of creativity is not being afraid to fail.” ~ Edwin H. Land

The most important part of this process is developing the mindset of believing you have innovative potential that flows within you. In order to tap into your creativity, don’t be afraid to draw on past experiences while testing your own boundaries. Throw in a little patience and before long, you will be stretching what you ever thought was possible.

____________

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happy as you want to be

“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Post written by Kevin Tyler Smith. Connect with me on Twitter. I always enjoy meeting new people.

I would venture to say that most of my readers have heard of the hit single, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin. If not, you can check out this catchy tune here.

This song has a crafty way of conveying a very simple message of being happy and reinforces this message by telling everyone not to worry.

It’s a beautiful thing to live a happy, resilient and optimistic life. Among one of the advantages to living in such a manner is that of being good for your health. It protects you from the stresses of life.

In speaking about life, one of the most profound statements I’ve ever heard is, “The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change”. With that being true, we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to in our lives. This includes our free will to turn our frowns upside down. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation, we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too, would change.

Relationally speaking….

People can be the root cause of many of these unbearable situations that may cause our unhappiness but what are you going to do? Are you going to live under a rock the rest of your life? Come on now, let’s be realistic. Even if you are no Gretchen Rubin, there are ways for the average “Joe” to easily overcome these situations.

I’m not going to give you some magic concoction that will instantaneously cure any unhappiness you experience when it comes to dealing with people relationally. That would be silly plus I’m no Harry Potter. What I will say is to just accept the fact that people are different and accept them for who they are. Anyway, it’s foolish to get angry at them but much wiser to understand them.

Pragmatically, you can take control by doing yourself a HUGE favor by:

• avoiding clashes
• avoiding constant arguments and
• taking a deep breath and letting go of all kinds of resentments

Start building your happiness…

Happiness is actually found in everyone. Increasing it is a way to make life more wonderful than it is already. To manifest this in your life, just decide to be happy. Just remember, you have the power. You can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull your outlook to be. Small changes can make a huge impact.

Here’s how to get started block by block:

1. Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful meal and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing your mail, thank the policeman for making your community safe and give thanks for being alive.
2. News is stressful – get less of it. Many people just can’t start their day without their daily dose of news. Think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. I believe that starting the day with bad news is not very sensible.
3. Spirituality. A religious connection is recommended. Being part of a religious group fosters inner peace.
4. Mindful time management. Time is much too valuable and important to waste. Managing time wisely involves a list of rules for scheduling, setting goals, planning and prioritizing. Fine tune this basic skill to give you that extra reserve to create the results you desire. Reaching these desired results naturally brings forth a feeling of accomplishment.
5. Laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke lately? Tell your friends or family about it. I guess it’s true what they say, laughter is the best medicine.
6. Expression. Let your feelings, affections, friendship and passion for people around you be known. More than likely they will reciprocate your actions. Abscond from pent up anger and frustrations. Find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause irreparable damage.
7. Hard work. Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in seeing tasks to completion. Accomplishments are paramount for all of us as they give a sense of value. Also be sure to work on things you feel worthy of your time.
8. Learning. Make it a habit to learn something new everyday. Learning allows us to expand and broaden our horizons. Who knows, it could open up doors of opportunities down the road.
9. Exercise. Run, jog,walk or just basic movement. Feel alive.
10. Avoid exposure. Keep away from exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

After reading the book “The Secret”, this is how I look at it, the more you start taking charge of your own happiness, the more positive vibes you will be emitting out to the universe. In turn, the universe will reciprocate by creating more experiences to manifest more positivity and happiness. It’s a wonderful cycle that I can’t imagine anyone not wanting to experience. Am I right? or am I wrong. Let me know.

____________

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being called home in life's winter

Sunrise: February 22, 1936
Sunset: November 6, 2010

Last week I received word that my Uncle Quentin was no longer with us. He died at 12:05 A.M. in the morning. This type of news you are never prepared for even when it is evidently inevitable when someone has a terminal illness.

I knew of his health concerns over the past few years and even received welcome news he was in remission for a good period of time. But within the past few weeks the prognosis took the eternal turn for the worse unfortunately. He is survived by his beautiful wife and one son.

In later years, I did not get the opportunity to see him that often but the images I hold of him are of a sturdy and confident man. He was one of the most brilliant individuals I had ever known. I looked up to him as he quietly and indirectly mentored me through the life he lived.  He set a fine example of what I aspired to be. My regret is that I never let him know how much he meant to me.

Some of his accomplishments: Electrical Engineer, Masters Degree in Political Science, graduate of the Federal Executive School, Deputy Regional Director of the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) Alaska Region, Regional Director of the FAA New England Region, Deputy Administrator of the entirety of the FAA, a public speaker, pilot, sailor and an amazing painter.

The life of his that I witnessed was one that was of dignitary status. He was really that important (at least to me anyway). As you can see, his responsibilities, associations and even his hobbies were awe inspiring. He truly took advantage of every day of his time on earth.

Given everything he was, he remained steadfast in integrity, caring, being humble and committed to family and faith. He truly lived a life that mattered. He will greatly be missed.

In celebration of living a life that matters:

“Ready or not, some day my life will end.
There will be no sunrises, days, hours or minutes.
No more cell phones or calls and mail to be returned.
Everything I will have collected, be it treasured or forgotten
will pass to someone else.
My wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what I owned or what I owed.
My grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
So will my hopes, ambitions, plans and ‘To Do’ list: All expire with me.
The wins and losses that once seemed so important to me will fade away.
It won’t matter where I was born or what side of the tracks have I lived.
It won’t matter if I rented or owned a house or lived on a boat.
It won’t matter whether I was clever, handsome or brilliant.
My gender, skin color, ethnicity will be irrelevant.

So what WILL matter?
What will be the measure of my days, weeks and years passed?
How will my life be valued?

What will matter is not what I bought but what I have chosen to build.
Not what I received but what I have shared and given you.
What will matter is not the level of my success but my significance.
What will matter is not what I learned but what I have taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage and sacrifice
that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate from my example.
What will matter is not my competence but my integrity and character: my true grit.
What will matter is not how many people I have known, rich or poor
but how many will feel a lasting loss when I am gone.
What will matter are not my faded memories
but the memories of those who knew and have loved me.
What will matter is how long I will be remembered,
but whom and for a kaleidoscope of reasons, like a brilliant rainbow.
Living a life that matters doesn’t happen by accident.
It’s not a matter of circumstance.
It is one made of choice: one of my own choosing.
And in so doing, I dance and write my name with Destiny.”

~ Donna Maris

My humble and sobering advice to you….

Don’t miss an opportunity to be involved in life. Not only yours but especially those who make a positive impact on you before it’s too late. Speak up. Talk to them. Visit with them. Wrap your arms around them. Let them know that their “being” counts for something in your life. This could be the very justification and feedback they need to verify that their life’s work wasn’t for naught and their mission mattered. By doing this I guarantee you will not carry the guilt of a missed opportunity to your grave.

Good bye Uncle Quentin. Thanks for setting a great example and firm foundation for me in living to the fullest and living a life that matters. You will forever be missed.

____________

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exceptionally positive - clarity in view

“For every day that there is sunshine, there will be days of rain, it’s how we dance within them both that shows our love and pain.” ~ Joey Tolbert

Post written by Kevin Tyler Smith. Connect with me on Twitter. I always enjoy meeting new people.

Whenever life metaphorically throws me a curve ball, especially one that I’m not expecting, my natural response is one of angst. This curve ball is the crap that life can throw at us at times that can sway our moods into dynamic peaks and valleys.

Several years ago, I had a conversation with myself to not succumb to drastic peaks and valleys in my mood. Yes, I get in foul moods at times – who doesn’t? – but my grumpiness is short lived as my response is healthy. I was determined not to be like “Mr. PO’d”. You’ve seen him, that guy who is never happy and acts as if someone pissed in his Wheaties. Really, how could someone be so miserable.

Because of my total aversion to those who thrive on casting their bad moods on others, I wanted to do everything in my power not to become “persona non grata.” I also wanted to set a good example for my kids in how to use positivity as an advantage over the stuff life dumps on us.

Here’s how I stay positive:

1. Take good care of myself. It’s much easier to be positive when you are eating well, exercising and getting enough rest. Even though I feel I have a long way to go in terms of the extent of my exercise and the total transformation of some lingering bad eating habits, I always experience so much positive clarity after a light and fulfilling meal and a brisk walk.
2. Remind myself of the the things I am grateful for. Stresses and challenges don’t seem quite as bad when you are constantly reminding yourself of the things that are right in life. When I take just 60 seconds a day to stop and appreciate the good things a smile appears.
3. Look for the proof instead of making assumptions. A fear of not being liked or accepted used to consume me. That fear lead me to assume that I knew what others were thinking but I learned that my fears are not usually reality. If you have a fear that a friend or family member’s bad mood was due to something you did or if a co-worker was secretly gossiping about you, speak up and ask them. Don’t waste time worrying that you did something wrong unless you have proof that there is something to worry about.
4. Refrain from using absolutes. Have you ever told a partner “You’re ALWAYS late!” or complained to a friend “You NEVER call me!”? I’ve learned that thinking and speaking in absolutes like “always” and “never” makes the situation seem worse than it is and programs your mind into believing that certain people are incapable of delivering.
5. Detach from negative thoughts. Your thoughts can’t hold any power over you if you don’t judge them. If I notice myself having a negative thought, I detach from it, I witness it and I make up my mind not to follow it. This may take some practice but with repetition, it gets easier.
6. Squash the “ANTs”. In his book “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life”, Dr. Daniel Amen talks about ‘ANTs” – Automatic Negative Thoughts. These are the bad thoughts that are usually reactionary, like “Those people are laughing, they must be talking about me”, or “The boss wants to see me?, It must be bad!”. I have run across these situations on more than one occasion and I have learned that they are nothing more than ANTs and I squash them.
7. Practice appropriate lovin’, touchin’ & squeezin’. This applies to outward affection to friends and family. I don’t have to be an expert to know the benefits of a good hug and neither do you. Positive physical contact with friends, loved ones and even pets is an instant pick-me-up. One research study on this very subject had a waitress touch some of her customers on the arm as she handed them their checks. She received higher tips from these customers than from the ones she didn’t touch.
8. Increase your social activity. By increasing social activity, you decrease loneliness and you are exposed to a healthy alternative to keeping your mind positively active. I like to surround myself with positive people. It’s just a natural occurrence that I thrive off of their vibrant energy.
9. Volunteer for an organization or help another person. Everyone feels good after helping. You can volunteer your time, your money or your resources. For example, I am sponsoring a young boy in Haiti who has experienced the devastation of their catastrophic earthquake. His name is Medellin. I’ll share more about him and the pressing needs in Haiti in a later post. Just know that the more positive energy you put out into the world, the more you will receive in return.
10. Use pattern interrupts to combat rumination. If you find yourself ruminating, a great way to stop it is to interrupt the pattern and force yourself to do something different. Rumination is like hyper-focus on something negative. It’s never productive because it’s not rational or solution-oriented, it’s just excessive worry. Try changing your physical environment – go for a walk or sit outside. You could also call a friend, pick up a book or turn on some music.
    Several years ago, I thought I had a life debilitating illness and all I could do was ruminate. I found relief from my excessive worry when I would talk with a family member or friend. As it turns out, my self-diagnosis was incorrect and was given a clean bill of health.

“Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.”  ~ Maori Proverb

Be your own hero. Start pouring your heart into your efforts to exact change in your overall outlook. Start challenging yourself to see how quickly you can turn grumpiness into bliss. By efficiently thwarting negativity and always looking toward the sunshine you will be amazed how differently you look at the world.

See also:

Edit Your Thoughts, Think Positivity

A Beautiful Plan To Design A Positive Soul

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the town crier - the communicator

“To speak and to speak well are two things.  A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.”  ~ Ben Jonson

Post written by Kevin Tyler Smith. Connect with me on Twitter. I always enjoy meeting new people.

One of the things that drives me crazy at times is the inability of anyone I am speaking with to stay with the conversation due to distraction.

I’ll go so far as to say that the lack of focus by the other party in a conversation is one of my biggest pet peeves because it is sure conversation killer and among other things, its rude.

But let me point the finger at myself on this one considering my brief lapses in my inability to orally communicate effectively. Maybe my voice isn’t commanding enough or maybe its some other weakness I possess in my delivery in which I am not aware. Its a work in progress I know, but I’m learning.

I know commanding attention in a conversation is an art and a gift. Whatever the case is with me, maybe I need to focus more on the gift than the art. Maybe a session of kissing the stone is in order.

Kissing the stone?

The Blarney Stone is a historical stone that is part of the Blarney Castle in Ireland. Legend says that by kissing the stone you will be granted the gift of gab. Now this may sound a bit strange in this modern age but who are we to question tradition?

There is so much to know about the art of conversation than anyone, even myself could ever realize.  You can lend your ears to television talk shows, radio programs, podcasts, clubs dedicated to public speaking or just ordinary conversations, whatever the forum of your choice, certain rules of etiquette, balance and discernment apply when it comes to interaction through words.

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”  ~ Dorothy Nevill

It may sound tedious but even though its your mouth that appears to be doing the lion share of the work, your brain works twice as hard to churn out the things you know. So what better way to start learning to be an effective communicator than to know the very person closest to you….yourself.

Become a great communicator…

1. What you know. Education is all about learning the basics. To be an effective speaker means to practice what you’ve learned. My public speaking class in college exposed the fact that we all have limitations but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to keep up and share what we know.
2. Shhhh…..listen. Listening is just as important as asking questions. Sometimes listening to the sound of our own voice can teach you to be a little more confident with yourself and to say the things you believe in with conviction.
3. The art of humility. Face it, we all make mistakes especially when we speak. Sometimes we tend to slur our words, stutter and we can’t forget the occasional word being mispronounced even though we know what it means. This is a moment we rarely use to impress listeners. So in a group, don’t be afraid to ask if you’re saying the right word properly and if they are unsure, then make a joke out of it. I promise it will make everyone laugh and you can get away with it as well.
4. Eye contact. The eyes have so much to say when it comes to commanding the attention of your audience. An authentic gaze really is that important. It is paramount you keep your focus when talking to a large group in a meeting or a gathering as it reinforces any point of interest you make.
5. The art of humor. A little bit of humor can do wonders to lift tension and boredom when speaking. This way, you’ll get the attention of the majority of your audience and they will feel you are just as approachable and as human to those who listen.
6. Fellowship. Interaction is all about mingling with other people. You’ll get a healthy dose of ideas as well as what makes other people tick.
7. Me, myself and I. Admit it, there at times you sing to yourself in the shower. I know I do. Listening to the sound of your own voice while you practice a speech in front of a mirror can help correct the stress areas of your pitch. And while you’re at it, you can spruce up as well.
8. With a smile. A smile says it all much like eye contact (see #4). There’s no point on grimacing or frowning in a meeting or a gathering unless the moment is somber. You can better express what you are saying when you smile.
9. A role model. There must be at least one or two people in your life you have listened to when they are at a public gathering or maybe at church. Sure they may read a script but taking a mental note of how they emphasize what they say can help you once you take center stage.
10. Preparation. Make the best out of preparation rather than just scribbling notes and often in a hurried panic. Some people like to write things down on index cards, while others resort to being a little less polished as they look at their notes written on the palm of their hand.

Commanding attention when speaking takes practice because just like anything else, you can’t become “good” at it unless you do. The more you empower your communication skills the better the chance you will hold the attention of the intended. Who knows, what you have to say could mean the difference between life and death to the other party.

You were designed to communicate. So, what do you like to talk about?

____________

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Kevin Recommends: The simple art of World Domination

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mind your productivity tools

“Man is a tool-using animal…. Nowhere do you find him without tools; without tools he is nothing, with tools he is all.” ~Thomas Carlyle

Post written by Kevin Tyler Smith. Connect with me on Twitter. I always enjoy meeting new people.

You’ve heard it before; a good workman always takes care of his tools.  This is equally relevant, whether you work in an office, on a job site or from home.

Keeping all of your supplies in excellent working order and easily accessible will increase productivity or least maintain a suitable pace for task completion.

Proper care is the key because no matter the tool, neglecting it’s condition will affect you over time.  You will not be able to do a job effectively if your supplies are broken, damaged or worn out from use.  Face it, if you try to use supplies which are not in good condition, the quality of your work can suffer drastically.  It can take you much longer to get things done and they will not be done as well.

Think of it this way:  if you are trying to work on a computer that is not up to par or using a hand tool that is bent or otherwise damaged or a piece of office equipment which stalls while you are operating it, your productivity can come to a complete standstill.  Frustration will mount and worse yet, the possibility of not getting the job done at all lingers.

When all of your supplies, tools and equipment are kept in ideal condition, they are in better shape to do the job properly.  Your work will not be slowed down and you will not risk errors from faulty equipment.  Good supplies in good condition mean getting things done and having the best results.

No matter how expeditiously you want to see your tasks to completion, taking a few minutes to be sure everything is in good shape will save you time and eliminate unnecessary frustration.

Take heed: A brief upkeep recipe for electronics:

• Clean out the dust – compressed air dusters do the trick in clearing the dust within intricate areas such as computer keyboards, typewriters, telephones, photo equipment and delicate household items.
• Check the cords – run cords under or behind the desk. Prevent tangling by using clips to manage the jumble of many cords.
• Store it properly when not in use – place any tool or piece equipment where it belongs after use. Storing it in the original container will help prevent dust buildup.
• Use surge protectors for computers- this will help prolong the life of your computer and protect it’s components throughout the many power surges it may receive. Make sure the protector is rated for computers.
• Clean the computer keyboard - anti-static cleaners offer protection against dust and can also be used to clean casings for computers, printers, fax machines, televisions, phones and video and audio equipment.
• Security – keep computer software security protection up to date.

Upkeep recipe for hardware:

• Lubricate it – if the tool needs lubricating, apply oil or a silicone spray regularly.
• Tighten it – if the tool has abnormal play in it’s movement, button it up with some fresh screws, clasps, nuts and bolts etc.
• Sharpen it – if the tool is required for cutting, sharpen it periodically.
• Replace damaged equipment or supplies as soon as possible – don’t be a “pack rat”, get rid of that piece of junk…it could hurt somebody.

Mindful care of your productivity tools will benefit you, as well as everyone else who uses the same supplies and equipment.  When everything is checked for good condition and put away, they will all be in good condition and easily accessible the next time you or someone else needs them.  It will make your progress that much smoother and much more productive.

See Also – Productivity Hack:

#1: Set A Game Plan

#2: Reduce Distractions

#3: Large Projects First

#4: Self-Discipline

#5: Doing The Impossible

#6: Increasing Motivation

#7: Take Setbacks In Stride

#8: Be Goal Oriented

#9: Mindful Care For Self

#10: Get Organized

#11: Positive Delegation

#12: Circumvent Burnout

____________

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the thought matters

“It isn’t the size of the gift that matters, but the size of the heart that gives it.”
~ Eileen Elias Freeman

Post written by Kevin Tyler Smith. Connect with me on Twitter. I always enjoy meeting new people.

Years ago, what used to be the most frustrating part of gift giving for me was trying to figure out what gift to get.

At no time during the year was this more prevalent than during the holidays. There I’d be with pen and paper in hand, engaging in list making, on the verge of blowing a gasket in my brain trying like hell to figure out what Aunt Susie, cousin Frank, Miss “Brand Name” and of course Mr. “Materialistic” would cherish as a gift.

Oh and if that wasn’t enough, throw another kink in the situation. I would be jumping through these mental hoops when money was tight. You have to be creative as sh*t when “you ain’t got no money”.

The saving grace is, with age comes practical enlightenment in the area of gifting. No longer do you aim to hit the home run but more importantly you just want to make a hit.

Yes, it is the thought that matters…

There are all kinds of gift ideas, ranging from the exotic to the traditional; from free gifts to gifts costing a substantial amount. Whatever the bottom line is on the gift you choose, outside of a substantial amount, you should remember that it is the thought that matters the most. If you have purchased the gift keeping in mind the tastes and interests of the recipient, it will not matter how frugal you were.

With this in mind, below is a list of easy to get, easy to make gift ideas for any time of the year that are either free or cost very little.

Welcome to the list of 76 you cheapskate:

1. If your friends or family are nut lovers, get them a pound of pistachios or cashews to snack on. Present it in a nicely decorated jar that can be used later.

2. For the tea lover, you could present a teapot with cups. If you are willing to spend a little more, you could add a few tea bags of different flavors.

3. Similarly, for the coffee lover, you could present a coffee mug with some samples of gourmet coffee.

4. For people with a sweet tooth, a tin full of home made cookies or pastries is a great idea.

5. For the avid gardener, home-grown bulbs can be an excellent gift. You could add gardening gloves, trowel, seeds and other tools in respect of your budget.

6. A nicely decorated basket filled with chocolates is a hit with people of all ages.

7. You can gift newly engaged or newly married couples with DVDs of their favorite movies. Add some candy, soda and a bag of popcorn to make their movie night truly special.

8. Present your new neighbors with postcards that mention their present address and that say ‘we have moved’ with stamps for a very practical housewarming gift.

9. For a business executive that is always traveling, stamps, notepads, post-its or prepaid phone cards are a good idea.

10. For the antique lover, pick up something unusual at a flea market or antique shop. For example, an old ceramic or glass dish can serve as an excellent candy dish.

11. Getting something for book lovers may seem easy but you could put in some effort and get them a rare edition of a book they had been looking for.

12. For the cooking enthusiast, serve up some exotic home-made dishes and present them with the recipes.

13. A gift basket is always a very useful present – however, you need not blow your budget to find stuff to pack in the basket. Visit the nearest dollar store and look for interesting items like candles, body wash, bath mitt, etc.

14. If your friends and family love Italian food, a colander, packages of pasta, jars of various sauces and a loaf of Italian bread will really mean a lot.

15. Even if you are not very passionate about cooking, you could pick up some quick bread mixes from the grocery store and make mini-loaves of different shapes. Present these to different people as small gifts.

16. Instead of going in for impersonal stationery, try designing something by yourself on your computer using a word processing and a simple graphic designing program. You can then buy any kind of paper that you want – white or brilliant colors. You could even create matching envelopes to go with the paper.

17. For people who have everything, try a ‘quote a day’ jar. Take some time out to research and find inspirational or funny quotes, print them neatly on colored paper and cut them up. Fill nicely decorated jar with 365 of these – the recipient will find something amusing or inspirational to think about throughout the day.

18. Parents and grandparents usually love to look at old photos, read old stories and relive old memories. For an up and coming anniversary occasion, take the time to collect old photos from friends, newspaper clippings from old days and create a memory journal for the recipients.

19. Young parents would love to have some alone time. If you are good with kids, you could offer to babysit their children while they take the evening off.

20. If you have been very busy and not spending too much time with your partner, gift some quality time with him or her. Go out for a movie or do some shopping, go trekking or hiking or just camp in the backyard under the starry skies.

21. For new moms and dads, time is often at a premium. Offer to cook and clean house for a few days until they get settled.

22. If you also do not have the time to spare for the new parents, get a few meals ready and packed in easy-to-heat containers. Label them and indicate when they should be eaten by.

23. Magnetized note pads or shopping pads are a real time-saver. Get one or two so that they can use it for noting down shopping requirements or to just jot down a point or two.

24. You could try making neat sachet bags for closets or dresser drawers. You could use pieces of unused fabrics and fill it with potpourri.

25. Not everyone expects a thank-you gift. A simple thank-you note will mean the world to the giver.

26. For a relative keen on organizing, get a few decorative boxes that can be used to organize small things and also used to brighten up the kitchen or living room.

27. You could consider making simple holiday ornaments yourself to gift to others. While you may not have the time or know-how to start from scratch, you can always pick up a ceramic ornament from the store and then decorate them, as you want with paint or other press-and-stick items.

28. Pick up a bunch of plain tote bags from a store. Now decorate these with stick-ons, iron-ons, or fabric paints. These are very useful and your decorations will add color to them.

29. If you have knitting or crochet skills, you could knit scarves and socks. These are a very useful in the winter.

30. One could consider crocheting a shawl or throw, even on a small budget. Choose a variety of colors so that you can crochet a shawl with nice rainbow colors.

31. Crocheting or needlework fans can also consider cross-stitching or crocheting a bookmark for their friends. Use designs that reflect their reading interests.

32. Another interesting variation is to choose a set of cloth placemats and then add a personal touch to them by adding a cross-stitch design to them.

33. A personal care gift basket is a good choice for men and women of all ages. For women, include nail polish, polish remover, make up sets and so on. For men, you could stock it with colognes, bath sponge, and scented spray and so on.

34. One of the more recent phenomenons in gifting is to present nicely decorated jars filled with something that the recipient would enjoy. For example, you could fill it up with coffee beans, salted nuts, even the dry ingredients for the person’s favorite cookies.

35. Candles are always welcome. Scented candles can really improve the ambience of a place – make sure that the person who you are gifting the candles to is not allergic to candle or smoke.

36. Try picking up matching gloves or shoes for the person’s favorite dress. You can find gloves and shoes to fit in any budget.

37. Pick up some small ceramic figurines depending on what the person’s interests are to decorate a mantelpiece or patio table.

38. Gift certificates may sound impersonal but are probably the most practical. You can pick them from stores that have a nice variety of items and you can get gift certificates to fit in any budget.

39. You could also buy gift certificates for a fancy restaurant and present it to a newly wed couple or new parents.

40. For a person who lives in a small apartment in the heart of the city, try gifting a miniature Christmas tree decorated similarly with small ornaments. They will all be able to enjoy it’s presence without the hassle of a huge tree.

41. If a gardener friend has shown interests in any home-grown flowers or herbs of yours, present some plants in decorated tins and cans.

42. New parents normally need a large amount of wipes and diapers, especially in the first year. Get together with some friends, and present them with a year’s supply of wipes and diapers.

43. Young babies grow out of clothes faster than you could say ‘baby’. Present parents with a few sets of clothes, varying in size.

44. Pick up a set of bibs – one for every day – preferably with a theme, like animals, colors, humor, etc.

45. A set of basic supplies like baby soap, shampoo, comb, baby nail clippers, Vaseline and a thermometer will serve new parents well.

46. Another welcome alternative is to present a gift basket containing small articles like teethers, pacifiers, wash cloths, stroller toys and so on.

47. Most of us tend to present new parents with gifts meant only for baby; try gifting for the parents as well. Present the mother with a nice cashmere shawl and the father with a set of soothing classical tunes. If you know them well, you could present them with a copy of their favorite childhood book.

48. It is never easy picking up something for parents or grandparents. Try writing them a letter, describing some wonderful memories that you have of your childhood.

49. Instead of taking your partner out for dinner or lunch, try making their favorite dish and dessert at home.

50. Similarly instead of spending money on an expensive gift, wake up early in the morning and give them breakfast in bed.

51. On Christmas or Thanksgiving Day, try giving relatives or friends you have not seen for a long time a phone call and enquire how they are doing.

52. If you do not meet your family often, try to get pictures taken every time you meet them. Then place them in nice frames, keep one or two and gift the others.

53. Many book lovers invariably have an ‘Amazon’ list of favorite books that they would like to buy sometime. Select a book from this list that fits in your budget.

54. If you are short on cash but have time on hand, you could give gift coupons to your friends and family for services that you are willing to perform for them. Like trimming the lawn, washing the car, cleaning the house, babysitting and so on.

55. If you are good with animals, you could offer to take care of your friend’s or relative’s pet while they are on vacation instead of them opting for a paid service.

56. If your partner loves to cook and loves to experiment, keep an eye on the dishes he or she has enjoyed the most in restaurants. Now, search for the recipes of these dishes, print them out on nice, colored papers and place them in binders to present as a gift.

57. Present a simple gift basket with a few pieces of fruit and assorted cheese.

58. For a gourmet chef, a collection of a variety of dishes and serving bowls would be a great gift.

59. A great gift for Christmas, Thanksgiving or any anniversary would be a family calendar. Collect 12 pictures of your family and look for sites or stores that would be happy to create a calendar for you.

60. If you are not looking at something so permanent, you could always work on a slide-show of all the photographs and present them on your computer or TV. Add background music and special effects to make it even more enjoyable.

61. One way of personalizing gifts is by putting pictures on coffee mugs, mouse pads, T-shirts and so on.

62. Pick up a few books from a best-selling list and present them to all the book lovers in your circle.

63. You could always pick up music or movies on DVDs that you know are their favorites. For a change, you could even pick up books on CDs.

64. Another unusual way of gifting is to donate to the recipient’s favorite charity. This way, not only are you gifting something unique to your friend or relative but also helping someone else along the way.

65. If you have the creative spirit in you, try to make something at home. For example, there are candle making sets available in the market. Make a variety of candles and add an interesting candle-holder to form a great gift.

66. While purchasing the latest gadget for your teenage nephew or niece may turn out to be expensive, try going in for the more inexpensive iTunes gift card.

67. A budding artist might like a sketch pad; set of pencils and colors while a budding writer might prefer a nice journal.

68. Instead of spending money on expensive picture frames, pick up a simple wooden frame from the store. Now depending on what the recipient’s hobbies or interests are, you can decorate the frame with elements that represent them. You would have created a very useful and at the same time, a very personalized gift.

69. Gift your friend with a magazine subscription that he or she would enjoy reading.

70. Give a new mother the gift of time. Babysit the new baby so that the new mother can run an errand, go meet some friends or just sleep!

71. If you have some special talents like small repairs as a home handyman, cooking exotic dishes or fixing cars, gift your services to your friends or relatives.

72. Small kids love art and craft gifts. A small basket or box filled with art supplies like pencils, crayons, paper, and coloring books will be very welcome. In fact, you could even reuse some craft supplies to give kids many eco-friendly craft ideas.

73. If you are picking up a gift for a physically active person, there may be some workout or sports supplies they may require. Think of gloves for lifting weights, golf balls, and a new exercise video and so on.

74. You could also consider gifting the younger generation with a family heirloom.

75. For the person passionate about the environment, go to www.carbonfund.org and consider purchasing a set of trees as a carbon offset for them.

76. Consider taking the time out and telling the person exactly how much they mean to you. Either write a letter or a short poem – anything to make them feel appreciated.

My recommendation is to pay attention to the recipient’s interests and tastes the best you can. By doing so, you can mindfully select a gift that does not cost too much (or to your great surprise, might actually be free) and yet may mean the world to them.

Gifts from the heart that are person specific are the best of all ways of giving.

____________

What Now? Learn more about the author - Stay in touch and stay connected
Kevin Recommends: Practical resources for World Domination

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