Photo by agustingianni

Driving my relative to the airport, I had no idea I’d be met with an opportunity to have all my dreams fulfilled.

You know when you’re really young, you have aspirations for all kinds of professions? Don’t you remember kindergarten class when the teacher called out your name and asked you what you wanted to be?

I remember this vividly. Mrs. Hershey called on my name, “Bamboo, now what do you want to be when you grow up?”

Frank before me responded to Mrs. Hershey that he wanted to be an astronaut. Little Sally, she wanted to be a school teacher.

But when it was my turn… I wanted nothing to do with all the answers that preceded me. I said quite squarely, “I want to travel the world and have lots of adventures,” to which Mrs. Hershey grinned as if warmth somehow entered the crown of her head and filtered through everyone of her veins.

Much has changed since that day. I’m a lot taller, I’m not quite as cute and I occasionally get swarms of redness that speckle my face like red nerds that have been pulverized.

One thing has remained the same however… and that’s that my greatest dream today is the same one I had back in Kindergarten.

It’s crazy the things you think about while driving your relative to the airport!

Entering the big glass doors… we made our way to the counter where my relative had her luggage weighed. Everything was under 50 lbs… she waved goodbye… and I was on my way until something truly unexpected happened…

As I was walking toward the exit I suddenly heard what sounded like a 1,000 black jack dealers vigorously dealing a deck of cards simultaneously. Somewhat in shock, I abruptly stopped as if my feet suddenly lost their ability to move. I slowly turned my head around and saw the kiosk machine spitting out, what had to be, thousands of electronic tickets. They were flying everywhere as if being propelled by a leaf blower.

The first thing to hit me was, why is everyone standing around like zombies? Don’t they understand that my dreams are spitting out of that machine for crying out loud?!

A sudden euphoric feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as I witnessed my dreams being flung from a machine–floating through the air like little angels that came to greet me at the preordained time.

When an opportunity of a lifetime happens to you, one in which the chances of it occurring are three million to one – you don’t just stand there – you diligently respond to providence.

As if totally oblivious to everything and everyone around me… I ran with every last cell of my being toward the machine throwing up golden tickets that would alter my life forever.

As I got down on my hands and knees frantically picking up the tickets, my conscience began to intrude, for a brief couple seconds, but the promise of traveling the world unabated quickly overtook that hater of an emotion.

Gathering the tickets, a sudden dread sailed through my mind: what if they’re all the same tickets and not to varied locations? I took a very brief respite from piling and examined them. The first ticket I eyed said destination: Korea. The second, Belgium. I could now breathe again.

The frantic picking up and piling continued until I finally concluded that the mounds I made were all a two armed, two legged homosapien could carry. Getting up from my hands and knees I held the tickets to my chest like I was embracing my lover for the last time before she left to Asia.

I was outta there!

I sprinted frantically toward the exit doors; some tickets flew out of my arms as I ran–but like it mattered. I had more than enough to travel the world like a connect the dot puzzle that would never end.

I wasn’t even sure what direction I was going in. I was just running. I really believed no one short of an Olympic athlete could catch me, since I run quite regularly.

I ran and ran and ran… I don’t know how much time had passed–but the scenery was changing and I was feeling like I had just gotten away with murder; I felt elated!

My sprint started to turn into an enthusiastic jog. By now I must have been a good half mile from where I started. I was starting to feel like I was getting a new lease on life. Up until this point, all I really had was a cocky disposition and a blog named PI–neither of which really got me anywhere.

But this… this was something different. Something tangible. A new beginning, a new start… I was finally going to live the life that I could only once write about.

Without warning, I felt something no human should ever have to feel. I felt the weight of Mt. Everest ram into my side–my feet left the ground and I found myself gliding to the concrete with the weight of a tow truck attached to my side.

I hit the ground hard, my elbow skidded terribly against the sidewalk and blood started pouring out, though I was largely oblivious to it except for the sudden discoloration of all my golden tickets.

I was half in shock and half still attached to my dream of traveling the world like a shark that once bites refuses to unlock its jaws.

Slowly I got up and so did the mountain–what was before me was a heavy set African American male looking at me as I tightly clenched onto all of my tickets that were now crimson red from my vital fluids.

The following is what transpired, all recorded from a nearby security camera. Click play to listen: (Sound clip not in reader–only on post in website)

I was brought to court, pleaded insanity, and found not guilty…

Photo by NOIZE Photography

You’re alive, so live.

1. Go on a pilgrimage to the McDonald’s Play Place

Too tall for entrance? Shoes don’t fit in the cubby hole? No problem. Rules are just an illusion.

I’ll see you in the ball pit.

2. Name a constellation after yourself

Leave your legacy in the stars.

Flying LlamaFish’s Ear Lobe > Orion’s Belt

3. Have Larry King sign your favorite pair of suspenders

If I ever hit the jackpot, I’m donating mine to the Smithsonian.

4. Shave an unsuspecting meerkat

A good deed never goes unrewarded.

5. Write a Haiku.

Dear Nicholas Cage,

You make too many movies.

Please take up quilting.

6. Join a cult

Cults get a bad rap, but can enhance your life in ways you’ve only dreamed of.

Perks include: The warm, fuzzy feeling of acceptance, a complete understanding of the Universe, and yes… comet riding.

7. Ride inside a Kangaroo’s pouch

I plan on leaving this world the same way I came into it… inside a marsupial’s pouch.

Photo by Chas Redmond

Improving your craft can only be accomplished through two methods:

Reading about it and doing it.

Prior to PI coming out of the womb of its celestial mother, I opted to read two books since my grammar sucked and my grasp of writing deficient.

The books helped prepare me for blogging, but even after reading them… I still had so much to learn and to this day am nowhere near the level of proficiency I seek to be. One thing’s for certain, though, I became much more accomplished by diving in and starting the blog than by incessantly reading about the skills it requires.

There’s nothing wrong with a little preparation before starting a project. But this step can be taken too far, as much of what you learn can only be had by doing.

Strange Incident Just Before I Started Blogging

I found myself standing atop a diving board at the local YMCA, 12 feet above the water.  As I was about to run and jump, someone in the stands screams, “stoooop… but you have more studying to do. You aren’t ready. Come down before you hurt yourself and sit in the stands with us.”

The fact that the kids in the stands were all young teenagers dressed in preppy private school clothing only heightened the sheer Twilight Zone nature of this episode.

So I look over at these charming young lads with my head slightly tilted towards them. They were gazing at me as if desperate that I would heed their word and not take the plunge. A small smirk begins to ensue on my face as my relaxed and almost drug induced eyes look upon them. In a sudden burst that even left me taken aback, I take one long step… feel my total weight plunge downward, only to have the spring of the board coming up with full force and not a tinge of apology.

As I’m catapulted into the air my body is limp and disorganized, as if I really don’t give a crap whether or not I’m met with a belly flop. All that mattered was that I took the plunge. Consequences can follow.

Plummeting towards the water, moments away from learning through direct experience just how hard water can actually be, my limp body suddenly goes from limp and aimless to full on canon ball action. All hell breaks loose.

Water goes everywhere. Those kids in the stands? Forget about it, dresses and ties drenched. The woman to the other side of the pool with her precious toddler? Forget about it, soaking wet and crying like he hasn’t eaten in days.

How many times do I have to tell you that my name is Bamboo Forest?

Just before swimming up to the surface, I glance up and see the sun piercing through the water, pause, and ask myself, “What the hell is going on here?”

Slowly I make my way up to the surface and as my head pierces the water I’m bombarded with a cacophony of high pitched prep school brats screaming, “Boooooooooooo! “Booooooooooooo!”

Next thing I know, the woman with the toddler frantically runs over to the side of the pool and yells at me for getting her precious little toddler wet.

“I’m sorry mam… I’m just trying to do my business.” As if this all couldn’t get any weirder, I told this to her in a southern accent and don’t have the foggiest idea why.

Learn from Others and Your Own Experiences

Joseph Sugarman, the master copywriter at the conclusion of his superb book, The Adweek Copywriting Handbook has the following to say.

”I am not the smartest of men. Had I been smarter I would not have made many of the mistakes I did. I would have read more of the direct marketing books and learned more that would have prevented those mistakes from ever happening.”

He goes on to say,

“I never graduated from college, my grades were not great and I practically flunked English. . . . I’m not formally educated in many of the subjects necessary to ply my craft . . .”

“I am also not that much more talented than others. There are many great writers, marketers and entrepreneurs. If you work longer hours, if you risk more of your time and capital, eventually you learn. I worked and risked a lot. And I learned a lot.”

Believe You Will Continue to Improve

Did you dive in? Check. Continuing to read about your craft while you do it? Check.

Now… Do you believe deeply that your game is going to continue to rise in proficiency like a hot air balloon that knows no limits?

I believe what we tell ourselves has a huge impact on the direction we travel. What are you telling yourself?

I tell myself, all the time, that my writing skills will continue to flower and evolve. I tell myself that with more and more practice and more and more studying up and applying what I learn: My writing will only get better and better and better.

I tell myself things that put me in the direction I want to go.

I’d argue that it’s conceivable that you could surpass someone who is more talented than you on the basis that you believe you can keep flying higher. Your belief system, undoubtedly, has a huge impact on outcome.

The more talented, yet complacent person, coasting on the current of his inherent ability unwilling to believe the skies are the limits may never venture into uncharted rapids. Yet you’re busy dipping your toes in them and preparing for the plunge.

In some ways the mind is an empty vessel. It comes alive by what you tell it.

What are you telling yourself? What is it that you are doing?

Photo by bitzi

Goat cheese

Goat cheese on a

Goat cheese on a Sunday.

Goat cheese on a Sunday Funday.

Goat cheese on a Sunday.

Goat cheese on a

Goat cheese on

Goat cheese

Goat

Does it really matter whether or not you anticipate things will go well?

Things are going to go the way they’re going to go, right?

Wrong.

Your performance is significantly influenced by your state of mind. So, make it work for you instead of against you.

Let’s say you’re about to go on a job interview. If prior to going your mind is running circles around doubt, fear, discomfort, and even your negative anticipation that you’re just not going to get the job: You’re hurting your chances.

You see… if you get in that chair and believe the outcome is going to be a loss, what does that do for your motivation? In short: It kills it. With a lack of motivation your performance will certainly be compromised. Far better to get into that chair with the fire of heaven in your belly.

If you were running a race and you anticipated you wouldn’t do well, how would your mind and spirit convert that anticipation? Would such an anticipation fire you up? Would it give you strength and focus? Would it make your strides long and true?

It would do none of the above. It would slow you down.

“To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.”~Muhammad Ali

For you writers out there, right before you put the pen to paper, what are you telling yourself?

Here’s how I do:

I stick my hand into a giant jar of toothpicks that is always on my desk. Bring the pick to my mouth, insert it, and let it dangle from my mouth while I type. I’m not making this up either, I don’t make things up.

I simply don’t pen a post without a pick. Son.

And while I’m typing away with the fire of heaven in my gut I envision great things. I envision my dear readers taking a glimpse at my post and coming away with something valuable. I envision an “ooooh, aaaaah, only at Mattress Giant,” kind of feeling that my readers will take away.

I envision an aftermath too. Tweets, stumbles, diggs, and general adulation.

I told you I wasn’t playing. I anticipate things will go well. That I will make a great product. And that people will appreciate reading me and my bro’s blog. I set myself up with my attitude.

In short: I believe in myself.

What’s your next challenge? You going to kick-ass?

You’re damn right you are.

Photo by jasonpratt

Got the fire inside you? Welcome to PI, kiddies.

If bloggers are going to recommend strategies for living and yet not follow through with them, that makes them giant hypocrites.

Bamboo Forest doesn’t play that game.

Recently, my mind was about to travel down a spiral of negativity, but then I recalled the message I shared with you on 5/17/09–focusing your mind on things you don’t like in life is a very wasteful application of your resources. Far better to direct your mind in a way that will improve your life.

So instead of sitting in my chair ruminating on all the things I don’t like in life, I opted instead to pen this blog post. A far superior application of myself, wouldn’t you say?

Applying myself to enhance my life = 1 Ruminating on negativity = 0

I have another example of my blog writing contributing to my living my life on my terms. And I hope some of the things I say also help you to live your life in a more life-enhancing way. That’s what it’s all about. On to the other example…

My mind was about to interpret a life circumstance as embarrassing. But then I recalled what I wrote about on 7/11/08. Listen, friends, we don’t get emabarrassed about anything because we know that death awaits. And because we know that when we’re embarrassed it’s because we’re focusing on something, that in truth, no one else gives a crap about. We aren’t that important to them. And if we are… they have much bigger problems than we do.

Some of you dweebies out there may be saying right about now, “But Bamboo Forest, I blog about writing and not about cool things like you do, such as inspiration–how then can I use blogging to prevent myself from being a low down hypocrite?”

Friend, I have the perfect solution for you. If you have a blog on writing, you’ve probably told your readers a thousand times to omit needless words. Next time you’re busting out a blog post, ensure you’re not being too wordy otherwise you’re being a damn hypocrite. And nobody likes them.

Of course, I don’t just blog on inspiration. I also write humor (roughly 50%). So how do I use those posts to keep myself from living life as a hypocrite? Actually, I haven’t quite figured that one out yet and I’m not sure I ever will.

It’s like spending 8 hours making a bed and then taking a 10-minute nap. Or, flying to New Zealand just to take a piss.

Ever interviewed for a job but didn’t get it? Ever had a girl or guy leave you? Ever failed a test?

If you’re of the human kind… at least one of these circumstances has likely happened to you. Welcome to planet Earth, friends.

If anything like the above has happened in your life, I recommend you accept it and let it go so that you can channel your energies to areas that actually enhance your life.

When you accept the way things are in life, you free up reservoirs of energy more powerful than the roaring Niagara Falls which dumps 5,000,000,000 gallons of water into the river every hour.

Don’t waste your tremendous energy channeling it to areas that won’t further your goals. Be very selective where you direct your mind, body and spirit. The best way to know where you want it all to go is to ask yourself this question: “What do I want to accomplish in life?”

Mugsey Bogues had a very successful career in the NBA playing for 14 seasons. He’s also the shortest person to ever play for the National Basketball Association, reaching just 5′3”.

For a normal man, 5′3” is way under average… but for the NBA it’s simply unheard of.

Growing up, it’s unquestionable he encountered obstacles along the way while striving to be the best basketball player he could be.  And he could have easily, at some point, opted to channel his energies toward lamenting over being vertically challenged, which would have undoubtedly robbed him of much of his energy.  Had he been swayed to go down that path he may never had made it to the NBA.

But he didn’t do that. He wouldn’t allow even a semblance of his energy to go there; he invested all his energy into improving at the game of basketball… mastering it.  Focusing on a lack of height would have been emotionally draining. For him, that energy was much better spent playing hours upon hours of basketball.

The art of letting go is one of the most powerful arts you can ever learn in this life. Forget about Kung fu or Jiu Jitsu. That’s nothing. Letting go frees up real power. Power that you can direct anywhere you want.

Disappointments will always be a part of  life in an imperfect world. The primary question to ask then is this, “Where am I putting my energy?”

We all experience disappointments from circumstances that aren’t to our liking. It would be wise, though, to make focusing on those circumstances quick and then letting them go altogether.  Every moment you spend directing your energies toward circumstances that aren’t ideal is a moment you could instead be directing your powers into actions that will improve your life.

PI is like a freshly brewed cup of tea… delicious!

Is bringing a 3 oz. lobster tail to my table somehow more challenging than bringing over a 2 lb. cheeseburger?

There has to be an explanation for this phenomenon.

Maybe expensive food has some kind of mysterious magnetic pull that makes it more difficult to carry.

Or… maybe we pay waiters extra for taking great risks. I mean, bringing water to your table is one thing, but a glass of red wine? That’s downright dangerous. One false move, and his uniform gets it.

And you think bringing over a mouth-watering filet mignon is easy? Do you have any idea how hard it is for a hungry waiter to fight the urge to eat it on the way to your table? It’s like giving a relay team of drug addicts a cocaine-filled baton.

How do you feel when someone says hello to you in the street? Doesn’t it make you feel really good? It does for me.

While I’m a huge advocate for greeting people, and think it’s unfortunate many of us are like heartless, mute statues exhibiting stone faces when passing each other…  I still think there are other areas we must explore to spread kindness and good will.

Let’s take a look at these three:

Let Others Get in Front of You in the Grocery Line

Waiting in a long grocery line is the pits. We can send a man to the moon, catapult satellites into orbit capable of seeing the date of a dime laying on the earth’s surface and clone babies for sterile couples – but why oh why must we wait in line to buy a jar of pickles?

Something is seriously wrong here.

I long for the day when grocery lines are more like toll roads with electronic passes. Implant the stinken microchip into my shoulder already so I can whiz out of there and be billed at the end of the month.

But I digress…

To express kindness I challenge you to spend an afternoon or evening at your local grocery store getting in line to purchase items. After you’ve been waiting 15 minutes and it’s finally your turn, very slowly (for dramatic effect) turn around to face the person behind you, rub your nose with your thumb and say, “I’m not in a hurry here, you can go in front of me.”

What you’ll witness in response is a glowing smile reminiscent of a kid who just stepped into a Chucky Cheese on his birthday. The person is now able to get the hell out of there much quicker and all because of you.

After this act of kindness immediately glance at your grocery list and act shocked and embarrassed like you’ve failed to put half your list into your cart and leave the line abruptly. Now go into another long line and repeat this process again and again until the store closes.

By the end of the day you will have contributed to many dozens of people getting through the grocery line that much quicker.

Pat yourself on the back. You spent an entire day in service to others.

Give Your Parking Space Away

Ever tried finding a parking space on a Saturday afternoon at the local mall? It’s the pits, right?

When we extend kindness to others, we sometimes have to sacrifice our time and energy to do so.

Here’s what to do:

Spend an afternoon at your local mall looking for places to park. When you finally discover one, drive a quarter into it at an angle, but no more, as you want to prevent the vehicle behind you from going around you.

Very slowly (remember, the dramatic effect heightens kindness) get out of your car. You may want to adjust your tie after the door slams behind you. Cautiously walk toward the car you’re blocking and gently bend down and rest your face just behind their side window while expressing a glowing smile.

Don’t relax from this fixed position until they put the window down. Once they do, this is your cue to say, “Hi… As I was pulling in I realized I really don’t need this spot, and… well… you look like you’re in a hurry. I’m going to back out. It’s all yours now.”

Make sure you have a full tank of gas before you embark on an afternoon of this service, running out of gas is about the worst thing that could happen to you.

Hand Toothpicks Out at a Restaurant

Now I have to admit – this is the one exercise of kindness I haven’t done yet, so I’m not exactly sure what will happen if you do choose to serve in this way.

Nonetheless, I think it’s a fabulous way to extend your love to others.

Go to your favorite restaurant and have yourself a glorious meal. If you can’t afford it, which is understandable in the current recession – opt not to have a meal, the important thing is that you enter the restaurant.

Stand by the toothpick dispenser and vigilantly watch for anyone attempting to reach for it; when they do, swoop in front of them and swiftly get one for them.

Now slowly extend your hand toward them with the toothpick laying in your palm like you were offering up a marriage band to your beloved.

Once fully extended, allow your hand to stay in place toward them, until they take the hint and grasp for the toothpick. Maintain steady eye contact throughout and hold a bright smile; you don’t want awkwardness here.

You’ve just made their life easier and they get the toothpick they were looking for.

Kindness really is important. You really can make a difference in the lives of others, the only question is will you?

Well… I have a long afternoon ahead of me; I’m off to the Piggly Wiggly. Going to engage in random acts of kindness : -)

What about you? Any acts of kindness in your future?

I sure hope so :*)