Holy crap. That is all I am going to say about my trip to Louisville to attend a fancy little unconference called HRevolution.

Okay, fine, I’ll say more. The event was coordinated by Crystal Peterson, Trish McFarlane, Steve Boese, and Ben Eubanks — and it rocked. Good conversation about existential issues in HR, lots of geeky blogging talk, and a heated discussion about the future of Human Resources. I paid for my attendance out of pocket, so I was focused on meeting new people and learning cool things.

Mission accomplished.

I’ll say this much.

• I am officially the Debbiest Downer of the group, which is tough in a room of HR professionals.  Not every job in HR is meant to be strategic and awesome. Just because you do tactical work doesn’t mean that you’re not an influencer and don’t make an impact. You get a paycheck and help fix shit for people at work. Be happy.
• I also used the word bifurcate to akaBruno’s amusement.
• I also saw a bride at a karaoke bar. It’s Kentucky. Anything is possible.

Glad I went, glad I spent some money on my personal development, and glad that we have such an amazing community that’s developed over the past two years. Remember when I had a website called HR Bloggers and people were like HR what? HR blogs? Are you kidding me?

They laughed.

Look who’s laughing now.

Sarah and I are still developing the Clueless@Love strategery. There’s no shortage of controversy around the site, including the fact that someone referenced Abner Louima and called me faux-punk.

I just weep for people.

Until we get Clueless@Love up & running, here’s a question from a reader.

I hope you can help, I am seeking advice a few levels – one HR lady to another….

I am an HR professional. I have always been really careful about personal relationships with co-workers (friendships, romantic relationships etc…), however recently there is someone at work that has caught my eye.

I have been friendly, said hi etc…maybe stared a little longer than normal so that he knew I was interested in more conversation keeping things very professional — but with no results/response. I normally am not very assertive when it comes to romantic relationships AND I have no experience with them in a work setting so I am in need of some serious advice!

My initial thought is to let it go and do nothing, but I do not want to miss an opportunity to possibly get to know him. I would really would like to let him know that I am interested but I am not sure what or how to do this. Any advice?

I married a former co-worker. There’s all kinds of risk, you have to use common sense, and many people will tell you it’s a bad idea. Forget about those people, though. They all have spouses & ex-wives & kids & cranky attitudes.

• Ask this man to lunch.

At worst, he will say no. If you are lucky, he will say yes.

I like to think that it’s okay for HR people to have friends at work. You can ask him out to lunch and get to know him. Keep the conversation light and airy. If it’s clear that he isn’t into you, don’t take it personally. He might be scared of your HR role. If it becomes something more than just lunch, that’s great. Invite me to the wedding.

Good luck!

This guy likes weather.

We have an important topic, today, that emerged from my latest conference in Chicago. I met a guy who told me that there is one thing that unites humanity. It’s weather.

• No matter where you are or what you do, you experience some aspect of the meteorological cycle.
• When we reach for something to talk about, no matter where we are in the world or who we’re talking to, we reach for the weather.
• Weather is the universal ice breaker.

And this guy? He hates it. He wants to find something else, other than weather, to break the mothereffin ice. So I’m enlisting your support.

Do we have one universal ice breaker that works in all countries, cultures, and regions? Is it weather? Can we replace it? Should we replace it? What would we replace it with?

It’s Friday — and the forecast is 60 degrees in sunny in Raleigh. Rats, I can’t get this concept out of my brain. Have a drink, kick back, and contemplate the weather, humanity, and awkward small talk.

I know that mature, thoughtful, and strategic leaders are comfortable with feedback. They can listen to your opinions, discern truth from bullshit, and move forward.

I am not a mature, thoughtful, or strategic leader. I write a blog on HR and workforce issues. Sorta.

So I’ve been thinking about two pieces of feedback I received during the past week.

1. Laurie, you need to give us a reason to care about you. Who are you? What do you believe? Give us more Laurie and fewer posts with open-ended questions. Right now I could care less about your blog. Show your heart. (I promptly wrote this.)
2. Your blog is too fluffy. Anyone who thinks seriously about work and the global economy will look elsewhere. They’re not coming to Punk Rock HR. Your blog is cute, it’s fun, but it’s fluff. (I rolled my eyes.)

I’m not looking for feedback on this post, and I’m really looking for feedback on my feedback. Christ, I don’t even want to write the word feedback in another sentence.

I just wonder how I can learn how to stop reacting to feedback before I digest it. I want to hear it, learn from it, and move forward in a positive way.

The sad part? I taught Corporate HR active listening courses. I mediated disputes in the workforce. I taught a course on diverse voices and respectful encounters in the workforce. Honestly, I cynically believed that neither party took that shit seriously. I also believed that feedback was for suckers.

Damnit, I’m so dumb. Youth is wasted on the young, and I lack some serious skills. If anyone wants to talk about how to give/receive feedback, and how to discern good information from bullshit, let’s do it. I’m ready. Comments are open.

Would you hire someone with a strong personal brand? Someone who is known, independently, as an expert or a guru?

Some companies are afraid of the Facebook friends, the Twitter followers, and the LinkedIn connections. Some are afraid of the whole employee — and they worry that a personal brand impacts a public persona.

Still others worry that your lifestyle and your choices impact the stock price and company’s brand after quittin’ time.

I guess what I am asking is simple:

• Does a social media footprint figure into the hiring process?

If yes, should it?

Just a few years ago, I checked into the W Hotel on Lexington & 54^th Street at the very beginning of a hectic week in Manhattan.

• I was managing through a major reorganization at my company.
• Positions were being eliminated and I was asked to consult on projects that I couldn’t talk about.
• My own HR organization was mess, and I knew two things about my life: my husband was about to lose his job and other people who worked hard and loved their jobs would lose their roles, too.

I was stressed, and I took my role very seriously — almost too seriously. I sought the advice of a senior leader in my HR organization who said, “Things are tough. Your life is about to change. The next time you’re in NYC, do something nice for yourself. Stay at a different hotel. Enjoy a spa treatment. Enjoy your status within the team. You’re doing a great job. You’ve earned everything you have, Laurie.”

I wasn’t sure I trusted that message, but I booked a room at The W and tried to trust that I wasn’t a total fuck-up. The hotel was ultra-luxe with a Bliss Spa attached to the facility, and the ambiance was moody and very faux NYC. The lights were dim, the women were skinny, and everyone wore black.

I had a great hotel room, and I planned to enjoy a dinner with colleagues at The Four Seasons Restaurant. Have you been there? The restaurant is a landmark in NYC and was designed by Mies van der Rohe and Philip Johnson. It’s a place known for the décor, the service, and the wonderful menu. If you’ve never been there, know this: you can make a reservation in the pool room, order dessert, and simply ask the Maître d’ to tell you about the metal curtains on the windows. Holy crap, it was an amazing place in it’s heyday. The staff loves to tell stories.

So to recap: I was staying at the W Hotel, planning on dinner at an amazing restaurant, and I booked an appointment to have my hair blown out at the Bliss Spa. I felt like a champ. Queen of HR. On top of my game.

Unfortunately, I was Icarus. I flew too close to the sun.

Before dinner, my cell phone rang. It was my brother, and he was calling with bad news. My father, who had a decent career with one company for over 28 years, was homeless. The homeless part wasn’t a surprise because that’s how my life rolls. One dysfunctional cell phone call after another. The tone in my brother’s voice caught me off guard, though. Although my dad was retired, he left his organization too soon under the allure of an early retirement package. He was never able to attain full employment in any capacity, and he drained his savings accounts and his 401k. Debt collectors hounded him, his life was a mess, and (for reasons that I don’t fully understand) he was waiting to the last possible minute to ask for help.

Ugh. So frustrating and heart-breaking. That’s addiction & pride for you, though. In our case, we were dealing with a tragic combination of mental illness, alcoholism, and hubris.

My brother, who is younger, was upset with the state of affairs. There were no easy or comprehensive solutions, either, because neither one of us wanted to enable a situation and make it worse. Here’s what I did: I booked a hotel room for my father over the internet, paid for room & board for several weeks, and reassured my brother that we were not horrible children because we couldn’t do more for a father that couldn’t do anything for himself. I may have said a small secular prayer for my sanity, and I definitely put on a brave face and went to dinner.

So I write about work because I think about my father, and many people in my life just like him, who have failed at work and in life. They are human beings who deserve respect and kindness, but they have behaved in ways that have negatively impacted others. I look at the landscape of my family and the out-of-work-broken-down-human-being isn’t an anomaly, either. I see people who cannot get along with others. Colleagues, supervisors, and subordinates who are always viewed as enemies. There is always conflict. Many people in my life will openly state that they are too good for work and they resent the fact that they are asked to show up in the first place and contribute to something that isn’t tied directly to their self-interests.

I really write about work, and I offer career advice, because I’m trying to harmonize my existence as a Human Resources professional, an entrepreneur, and a woman with a past. I want to be a writer, and I struggle with my history as a woman, a daughter, and family member of people who don’t know how to work.

And honestly, I write about work because I’m not sure I know how to work, either.

That’s my story. That’s why I am here every day.

I’m here to learn about online recruiting strategies and tactics. I’ll be lucky if I survive the germs.

It’s a myth that no one hires in November & December. In fact, I filled a tremendous number of openings in November and December because I forced my clients to forfeit their budget & headcount if they didn’t fill a position that was open for more than 90 days by the end of the year.

I’m heartless, but nothing motivates a manager like budgets, money, and span-of-control.

So don’t be depressed or discouraged about your job search based on the myth that no one gets a job at the end of the year. People do get hired. Be depressed and discouraged that society places so much stress upon us during the holidays.

I’m traveling to Chicago on Monday, so I asked Jason Seiden if he wanted to do a guest post on my blog. That’s how this shit works. I gotta plug up holes in my schedule. I’m like a blogging plumber.

Jason is super busy and about to launch a huge new book so he said, “I’m working on a project. How about I do a video blog? Then I’ll give every single reader a free copy of my last book, How to Self-Destruct.”

It’s not chocolate-covered bacon, people, but look what just happened.

1. Jason does a video blog and I get the day off to travel.
2. You get a great book on leadership & work — for free — that won’t bore you to death.

Sometimes life just works. Also, my mother-in-law always says, “For free? Take.”

So take it. For free. On Jason’s website.

Also watch this cute video that Jason made for me.

Jason also made me a video with his dog, last week.

I swear, we are doing important things and changing the world — one book and animal video blog at a time.

Welcome to November. Holy crap, this month will be so crazy.

• November 2nd is my anniversary. No gifts because we have the gift of love — and a house in Kalamazoo that won’t sell.
• November 3rd & 4th is the Kennedy/Onrec conference. If you haven’t purchased a ticket and want a discount, you can use the code PrMBwh for a $100 discount.
• November 4th is my Fail Spectacularly party, too. Corporate karaoke + improv. Be there or suck.
• November 6th & 7th is the HRevolution HR/Social Media Conference — but I’ll just be there on Saturday. I am bunking with Jennifer McClure and looking forward to seeing Amanda Hite!
• November 16th is the Social Recruiting Summit. I’m chairing the event, whatever the heck that means, so I’ll ditch the yoga pants and wear a little make-up. There’s a tweet-up the night before, and Colleen is my date. Breaking news: Sarah and I are bunking together. Trouble. Right there. Especially if David Manaster takes us out for Vietnamese food.
• November 19th is the launch of Jason Seiden’s new book. I’ll be at the free SmartBrief party in his honor. That’s in Washington DC.
• I’ll be at  a SHRM tweet up later that night, too.
• The husband’s birthday is at the end of the month.

Don’t even get me started about the holidays, none of which I celebrate but all of which require my presence somewhere.

What are you doing in November?