His name is Elisha Steve Kairos White. Born 11:56 on the 24^th of April, sharing his grandparents anniversary (Tim’s parents) at 41wks and 6 days. He weighed only 6 pounds 13.5 ounces. Quite a lot smaller than Nathan at 8pounds, which I did not expect. I was sure that my belly felt bigger. He’s long and skinny, very calm and quiet for now and so beautiful. The birth was a bit of a journey, but worked out wonderfully.

I was rapidly approaching the 42wk mark, and very desperately wanting to avoid an induction. Tuesday morning we were booked to have an ultrasound and appointment with an obstetrician (being 13 days overdue). I woke during the night with contractions and dozed in between until Nathan woke up. We headed to the park, and then dropped in at mum and dads on the way home. It was very similar to how I laboured with Nathan. Continued labouring on arrival home and was really enjoying it. We had the worship music pumping and I was so relaxed. A few minutes after my midwives arrived my waters broke, and it was very thick meconium liquor (where babies first poo occurs in the womb). I was 8cm dilated, and babies heart rate was dropping significantly and often. The decision to transfer was quickly made, it was quicker to drive straight to the hospital then to get an ambulance. On arrival at hospital, I was helped along to fully dilated and pushed him out as quickly as possible. He was born at 11:56, sixteen minutes after we had arrived. The paediatricians and special care nursery staff worked on him for about ten minutes, suctioning out meconium and giving him oxygen. His apgars were 4 & 7. His blood was highly acidic which is an indicator of severe fetal distress. His CTG for the 15 minutes before I gave birth was possible one of the worst I have seen working in birth suite. For the emergency that it was, the outcome was miraculous.

It blows me away that God made everything work together to get me the birth and the baby that we got. Timing was incredible. The fact that I still had a natural birth, non-instrumental and non Caesarean is incredible. The staff were incredibly respectful, most of them I had worked with before and were so overly accommodating with everything.

God has worked so many miracles through his short little life already, growing our faith. We are so grateful for everything that He has done.

After unloading the kitchen, we headed down to the creek for a swim. This has been the most fun swimming we’ve had with Nathan yet! He absolutely loved it, swimming in his birthday suit, splashing everyone, throwing himself in. Then we found a rock which makes great body point, it’s probably Ochre or something similar. So we started painting Nathan with it, which he loved, and started doing himself. He even went as far as grabbing mud and splashing it on himself to make our little tribal warrior. We have some great photos and videos from it, which we’ll have to post sometime.

It was while I was down at the creek, taking photos of my family splashing around in the water, with the setting sun casting beautiful colours across the water, that I started to think about what traditional Aussie living must have been like. While it wouldn’t have been care free, it would have included beautiful moments like that, out off the beaten track, with kids playing surrounded by Australia’s beautiful features. Here was my family, starting a journey to “build our house” at the block, surrounded by natural beauty. So far, nothing about building our home has been easy, without power yet, we’ve been using brute force and battery powered tools to pull out the cupboards that are built-in to the barracks. Sara has spent many hours removing nails from the timber that we’ve pulled our, and sorting it for later reuse. We’ve spent lots of time cutting grass, trees and prickly bushes, clearing away to “rubbish” vegetation so we can eventually plant nice trees that are suitable around the house. We’ve battled an out of control grass fire that threatened the house. We’ve already lost 3 chooks to other occupants of the land. And it’s all been hard work, but real work, work that’s worth it. And we’ve enjoyed it so much.

And even with all this hard work, Australia continues to show what it is. Our neighbour has fixed up some of our fences for nothing, clearing along them, fixing the gate and stringing new wires. Yes, it’s so his cattle can keep using some of our property, but he didn’t just do a half ditched effort to just keep his cattle in, he did a proper job, spending a decent amount of his time and resources to ensure we had a good fence. The person we bought the kitchen off, gave us a laundry as well, which was another beautiful blue benchtop, a sink and cupboard. Many friends have helped with everything, from pulling out the kitchen, to unloading it, to mowing grass, to cutting down tree’s! Everywhere we turn, Australia is there to help us. Someone even just loaned us a generator so we can have power until electricity is finally connected!

I’m very excited about our eventual move out to the block, as being in that area, really feels like the good ol Aussie spirit that is missing from the city and even rural areas. People want to help, and do help. And nature is beautiful, and you can live! You can go swimming in the creek, light a fire and have billy tea. You can let your children swim in their birthday suits, all painted in beautiful earthy colours. You can stop and listen, and hear the sounds of nature instead of the cars driving past. You can look up at the night sky and see so many stars, so many more than many city people realise are visible! You can build a bush cubby as your secret hiding place. You can just live.

Having had such a good Saturday, we headed up to Toowoomba on Sunday morning for church, with worship music blasting in the car. Having had a break from youth, worship team, cleaning and the other 101 things we do at church, it felt good to be seeing our church family again, and to already be in the presence of God before we got there! And church just felt alive. Of course, life catches up and brings its stresses with it too. Now I’ve got the stress of 3 assignments, being behind on some of my lectures, and now not sure how our visit to Perth will look in June as my last exam happens to fall after the wedding, ick. So while we continue to wait for our newest family member to make an appearance, I’ll continue plodding through boring Uni, and keep working out how we can live a more relaxed lifestyle, a more traditional lifestyle with less stress, and more fun!

And my initial, gut response surprised me. Yes. Very much so.

I have a beautiful little boy who makes my whole world light up.
I have a husband who is one of the most just, kind and helpful men I know.
I am waiting on a little baby to join our incredible family.
I am loved, I am unique.
I have a place in this world, and I have a purpose.
I see God at work around me in every situation that I face.
I’m not alone.
I have friends that I can rely on, and a church that I belong to.
I am going places, I have a future and it is bright.

Truthfully, it is the first time that I have felt confident in responding like that in quite some time. Perhaps four years. And the fact that I felt such peace and confidence surprised me.

It makes me wonder whether the stress and the lack of time with my family to study is really worth it. There is no way I felt like this last year. And yes, I am far behind with my studies this semester, but heck, I’m happy!

So who cares if it takes me five or six years to finish a three year degree. I am happy. My family is happy. We are healthy. We have fun. We are together and totally in love with each other. I love living like this. This is life to the full, and this is what Jesus called us to live.

Today was the most incredible family day ever. We woke up, and had a lazy cuddly morning in bed, until Nathan got frustrated and wanted breakfast. After breakfast we headed back to bed. I had some labour nigglings yesterday afternoon and really thought that things might be heating up, so when I put Nathan to bed last night, I really did expect that it would be the last night we said goodnight to just one of our children. But this morning there was nothing, so we decided to make a family day of it.

We got all dressed up and went to Toowoomba to see a movie for the first time as a family. Kids under two are free, so we figured we had five days to get his ticket in. We went and saw the Lorax, and Nathan loved it! He was so still and attentive, sitting on his cushion, drinking his sars cordial and eating popcorn. He giggled in the funniest and often inappropriate spots, for instance when the first tree got chopped down, and danced to the musical numbers. It was just a beautiful morning out.

We headed to the shops afterwards and finally bought a name book. Names are still not even remotely decided, in fact we think we may have to go back to the drawing board. Ran into an old friend who I have been thinking about a whole lot lately, which was very unexpected but made my day. We had lunch, Tim cleaned the church and we checked out a kitchen for our place at mum and dads. Came home via my folks place and made home-made pizzas for dinner. It just feels like one of those days that I want to capture forever, and relive over and over.

I feel like every day in the last week or two has been like that. I’ve been feeling great, and I’m realising how much different life is when I take it a little slower. When I have time to make pancakes for breakfast and keep the house clean. When I can sit down with Nathan and play with his blocks and puzzles. His favourite toy at the moment is some flashcards that I borrowed from mums home-schooling supplies. Now that he’s talking, he pulls us by the hand and takes us to the bench with the cards on it, and makes us sit with him and speak through his cards. I just get so much joy from watching him grow, and living life with him.

1. Summer cot sheets (We have predominantly flannelette)
2. Change Mat Cover
3. Phil & Teds Nest Bassinet
4. sBaby Beehind Magic-Alls Nappies with Snaps
   http://www.babybeehinds.com.au/store/pc/Magic-Alls-All-In-One-Minkee-with-Snaps-13p14.htm
   We are probably going to get a bulk pack to bring the price down a bit. They are $30 a nappy, but we’ve loved using cloth nappies, and just need some more to do it full time.
5. Hotmilk Nursing Bras
6. Fabric for Baby Quilt

I am hoping to have a baby warming soon after our little one arrives rather than having a baby shower. This will hopefully give you all a chance to meet and cuddle little White Junior, and share our family’s joy.

Nathan turns 2 in a few weeks, 20 April. As of yet, we don’t have anything really planned. I’m waiting to see if I can hold out on having this baby until then. Jokes. We will probably have an afternoon tea with some friends and family, maybe crash my sisters birthday party. The more casual we leave it, the less running around and crazy work we will have to do with our little newborn. As far as presents for him, I’m looking to get him toys to stimulate his imagination. So his list at the moment is -

Wooden Peg Jigsaw Puzzles
Cars
Wooden Train Tracks (To add to his Ikea set)
Size 1 Shorts
Washable Markers
Large Chunky Plastic Farm or Jungle Animals - Does anybody know what I mean? We had them as kids and had endless fun with them.
Playdough – If somebody wanted to make him some. I’m slack and haven’t gotten around to it yet.
Slide – This is just a big wish list item for him.
Books – To add to the pile of a hundred stories I read to him a day.

We got given some play equipment a few weeks ago, and he absolutely loves it. He’s such a little boy, a little monkey. He’s not even two, and he’s going skitso jumping on the trampoline and climbing on the bars of the swing set. Not swinging, that’s far too boring.

It feels like nearly a quarter of the year has gone, and there is little to show for it. I fight that with the truth, which is that our lifestyle has changed fairly significantly, we are in a new house. We are both studying, and even though that doesn’t feel like progress, it means that the assessments we have done never have to be repeated. There are a few months less that we ever have to do.

I got sent off for a growth scan about two weeks ago because as the pregnancy has progressed, my measurements have been lagging behind what they should more and more significantly. I started to feel like something wasn’t right, so we called it quits and went to have another scan.

We had tried to avoid them in this pregnancy because with Nathan we had about 5. A dating scan early on, then the normal 18-20 week morphology scan. On that scan they noticed a shadowy region in his stomach and the cord was around his neck. Next scan showed the shadowy region was nothing, but then they got curious about the cord around his neck. So they had a couple more scans just to check on that cord (morons) and to check on weight and stuff. A little fact for you all, the cord is around babies neck in about 1/3 of births. Midwives just slip it over the head, it doesn’t cause any issues and you as a mother would barely ever know. Nothing scary about it.
All that to say we were needlessly worried and bothered for nothing. It wasn’t even around his neck when he was born.

So this time around we wanted to avoid the stress, inaccuracy and ultimately unproven safety of ultrasounds. We did the 18 week scan because knowing placental position is quite helpful.

The scan we had showed a significant discrepancy between the size of the babies head and stomach. This pretty much indicated that the baby was starving itself to get nutrients to the head, indicating IUGR, growth restriction. Blood tests and bp at that time were also not positive regarding my own health. So upon consultation with my GP and advice from an obstetrician, I had monitoring regularly with repeat scans to check on babies wellbeing. We bulked up my diet with protein and other natural remedies and prayed. A lot of praying. By a lot of people.

I said to my friend during that time that with the amount of people praying there was no way things could go badly!
And I swear over the first week of doing that I felt my belly grow.
We had another scan just over a week later which showed that there was no problem with the baby whatsoever. The first scan could not have been so extremely wrong, but the problem could not have just fixed itself in a week either. I am convinced that it was God proving again that this baby is a miracle, and covered by His blessing.

The story behind this baby even existing is a pretty awesome one.

But during that whole time, and even now to be honest, I haven’t felt the best. I’ve been getting tired and weak very quickly. I feel nauseous and dizzy and breathless most of the time. Mum took Nathan for two nights and a day last week so I could get some rest, and I really needed it. I’ve taken a break from church responsibilities too, we didn’t even go on Sunday (The first time in… a very long time). I’ve barely been getting out of the house so I’m missing people, but I don’t feel up to doing very much. I don’t remember feeling anything like this at the end of my pregnancy with Nathan. If I went into labour right now, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to jump up, go to Kings Park and then do a crazy morning tour of the city before coming home to have the baby, and not because I don’t live in Perth anymore.

Tim is wanting the baby to come before Easter. I still don’t feel prepared for its arrival, and so I don’t expect it will be very soon, but before Easter would be nice. I’m just hoping that when it makes its grand entrance that my health will start to pick up a bit, I will feel a bit better.

http://vimeo.com/39173542

For the last month or so, I’ve been having a lot of hip and back pain. It has eased up a bit with chiropractor visits and increased hydration, but the last few days it has returned as painful as ever. I still look very small, measuring quite a bit less than I should be. Looking through Nathan’s records though, and the same happened in my pregnancy last time. I’m looking about 30 weeks at the moment, rather than nearly 35. My fluid volume is on the lower side of normal, so I’m feeling lots of limbs and bony bits. This baby definitely seems to roll more than it does kick and jab though. It feels slightly more gentle. Tim thinks that’s an indication that it’s a girl.

I am having to slow down a bit and take things easier now. Study has been fairly difficult to stay on top of, I’m really only getting Nathan’s nap times to do it. I’ve been so tired the last few weeks that I’m in bed pretty much as soon as he is.

We’ve been doing a fairly good job of staying on top of things like our dinner plans and bible reading. A few months ago, we wrote a huge list of things we wanted to change and implement, and now when we look at it, it feels like a silly list. Just because we have introduced so much change that it just feels natural. There is progress, and I do believe our family is benefiting from it. We are moving forward!

We were out getting some supplies for me to start sewing (things like scissors and thread) and Nathan kept wanting to touch all of the buttons, so I sat him down against a pole and asked him to stay there, and he sat quietly watching us for about fifteen minutes. The ladies at the shop were very impressed. He just blows me away time and time again with how well behaved and kind he is.

While playing at the park the other day, there was a little girl sitting on her own watching the other kids play, and Nathan went and plonked himself beside her, gave her a smile and just sat with her for a few minutes. It was incredible cute.

His cleaning obsession is working out fantastically well for us too. Every night before bed, he puts his toys in the right shelf and his books all neatly away. It really bugs him to have anything out of place. We sat on the couch the other night and he cleaned up the whole lounge room by himself. I know, slave labour with a 22 month old right? But he has become such a capable little boy.

We made banana choc chip muffins the other day, and he stood on a chair, and poured all the ingredients in, mashed the banana with a fork and stirred all the ingredients through. He can get all the parts of his breakfast out and on the table now, weetbix, milk, bowl and spoon, buckles himself into his chair and waits for someone to put it all together for him.

He is constantly asking for more independence and I am feeling so confident in giving him more responsibility. It blows me away how much he can do, and how well behaved he is for a nearly two year old.

Our new place in Grantham is shaping up quite nicely. We’ve made a very conscious effort to downsize and the resulting space has been quite enjoyable. This house is much smaller than the last one, though we aren’t sharing anymore. I have been having fun making each room nice and part of a home. Having a downstairs area is great for that because anything that I don’t want in right now has gone down there. The kids room was the first to take shape. We moved Nathan’s cot and change table in, and that was all. As we have no built in cupboards in this house, we really needed more storage space, so I had my eye on the expedit shelving at Ikea. We priced the wood it would take for us to build them at Bunnings, and then had a look at Ikea and for the time and effort it would take, plus the end result, it ended up being easier to buy them new. For my birthday mum gave me the money to go get them. A 2mm dent in one of the corners (that is absolutely not noticeable) pulled the price down over $100 and we got to bring it home! I’m planning on making some fabric boxes to slot in, so their clothes, books and everything will be in that unit.

With the left over money we bought the supplies needed to build Nathan a new toddler bed. It’s close to the ground, and fits the same mattress as his cot. He moved into it a week or so ago, and we haven’t had any worries at all. He is quite proud of it, and I loved the feeling of building something together as a family that will stick around for a while. I love looking at it and thinking, ‘I made that bed!’ The cost came out at about $70, but there is enough fabric, batting and possibly wood to make another which I am considering doing for Grammy’s house. That was my birthday present from Tim, actually getting that done. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a while.

One of the goals we have had for this year was actually celebrating events. We have always been quite bad at it, hence we are coming up to our third anniversary and never done a thing. This year, we have become more intentional about it. We had a picnic lunch at Spring Bluff for Australia day, and for Valentines Day Nathan had a sleepover at his grandparents and we grabbed some noodlebox, baked brownies and watched a movie.

Doing something for my birthday felt like more of a challenge though. 21 is a big one, but I really didn’t want it to be. So we had a BBQ at our place downstairs as a joint housewarming. The turn out was better than I expected, even though Tim smoked the place out trying to burn some trees that had blown down a week previously. Daddy made me some damper which was absolutely brilliant!! It’s just good to hang out with friends, new ones and old, some of whom I haven’t seen for quite some time. I got a sewing machine for my birthday too from Tim’s family, which I am super stoked with. I’ve sat down and read through the entire manual, which was extraordinarily funny. Then again we were probably just both really tired.

Uni is starting up again for Tim this week, I started back about a month ago. He is still full time, I have dropped to part time, and am really enjoying the break from clinical. The baby will arrive within two months, and although that still feels like ages, I’m starting to see the weeks roll before my eyes. Time will fly, as it has already this year.