Do you feel like you’re in the midst of chaos because you are juggling waaay too many balls? Are you adding one more ball, then one more ball, and then yet one more ball? Do you look down and see that you are not only juggling balls, but you are standing on an elephant who is standing on a ball and rolling along a tightrope? Even writing that makes my anxiety level surge! And yet, that is how many people try to function every single day.

Do you wake up in the middle of the night because you can’t anticipate which balls are going to come crashing down? Is it going to be the missed email? Is it going to be the uncompleted project that is past due? Are you overwhelmed by the enormity of the many things that you must do? Have you subscribed to the idea that multitasking is a good strategy?

How Many Balls are Going to Crash?

You know you are juggling too many balls when you are in a constant state of anxiety. You are working longer hours, but aren’t making more money. You are short with people at home and you can’t remember the last time you really liked your work or enjoyed your time at home. The balls you juggle come in many forms.

• to-do lists with 20 items that couldn’t possibly be completed any time soon (you stress yourself out by adding things to your list so you won’t forget them, but don’t have a way to actually check them off)
• 100 – 10,000 unanswered emails in your inbox, which distract you (most of them are so far out of date that they aren’t even relevant anymore)
• saying “yes” to everyone, but not having the time to follow through

These all lead to a feeling of overwhelm and self-judgment and the question, “Why can’t I figure this out?”

How Can You Simplify?

I know, many of you are now rolling your eyes thinking, “Give me a break! There is no way to simplify this!” Let’s break it down and try one thing this week to see how it works. This is probably the most important tip I could give you.

Most people overestimate how many things they can complete and underestimate how long each item will take.

Let’s put it into practice. Give yourself short to-do lists with no more than three things. For some of you, your list will be one item long and that’s ok. Yes, I know you have really long lists of things to accomplish. You can put all of those other items on a “holding” list so you don’t forget them. Start with three items (or one) and schedule in how long each one will really take. When you complete those things, then add one to three more.

This is one thing I have seen over and over and over in my coaching business. You set yourself up to fail when you have long lists with unrealistic completion times. This leads to self-judgment and the belief that if you only worked faster or longer then you would succeed. That in turn leads to overwhelm, disappointment in yourself, and confusion about why you just can’t get it together. When you have shorter lists and assign true time for completing them you begin to see what’s important and can take action on those items first. 

This simple plan will help you be more productive and effective and give you more space to breathe. What three things are the most important for you to focus on today? I’d love to hear how this strategy works for you. Leave a comment below.

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Have you ever done something that you thought was really stupid and then beat yourself up for it? It wasn’t what you had intended at all. That is often a sign that Grenelda or Herman Thurman have stepped into your life. If you were paying attention you never would have done that monumentally ridiculous thing. The Thurmans are a lighthearted way to look at moments that are fraught with the possibility of self-judgment.

The Thurmans are the ones who burn the steaks on the grill, wear two different shoes to the store, drive the car into the garage with the bike still on top, put cayenne pepper instead of cinnamon into your oatmeal, put the battery in backwards and wonder why your tracker isn’t working, and on and on. Those are all little examples of Grenelda and Herman moments. The problem comes when you stack Grenelda moments one on top of the other. Then there can be trouble all around.

Here’s my latest Grenelda moment. I was making a mocha and dumped the coffee beans into my mug rather than the grinder. It wouldn’t have been a problem except that I had already put cacao into my mug. Soooo, I spooned the cacao-coated beans out of my mug and into the grinder. I figured it shouldn’t be much of a problem since it was going to get pulverized anyway. Who knew that cacao is so fine that it clogs a coffee filter? It took forever for the coffee to drip into my mug.

The point is that I wasn’t paying attention. Grenelda saw her opportunity and jumped in to create a little chaos. In the past I would have spent untold time beating myself up for not paying attention with all of the concomitant mind-chatter. This time I immediately recognized Grenelda’s hand in my coffee bean adventure and went on. Besides, I realized right away I had found the topic for this blog!

Not more than 15 minutes prior to this, I was thinking Grenelda hadn’t been active lately. What I find so fascinating is how quickly the Universe steps in and says, “Oh, you haven’t had a Grenelda moment for a while. Here you go!” It was a reminder that I was getting all lost in my thoughts, trying to figure things out. It was time for me to pause and regroup.

The lesson is to pay attention when you start chastising yourself for a mistake. That’s time to pause and discern if it was Grenelda or you who made the mistake. No, it’s not a way to shirk your responsibilities. It’s a way to recognize that you are not paying attention. You receive the notice, laugh at yourself because you’ve let Grenelda make a decision, and then get grounded. When was your last Grenelda moment?

One of the reasons I love Grenelda is that she is a way for me to laugh at myself rather than beat myself up for making a mistake. She is like a funny flag waving at me saying, “Hello, time to get back in your body and pay attention.” How could your life be easier if you noticed your Grenelda experiences? What would change for you? What if you use your Grenelda moments to discern what’s really going on for you? Please share your stories below. I love hearing about Grenelda and Herman Thurman. They are quite the characters.

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How often do you celebrate taking a small step toward your desired outcome? Or do you only celebrate when you’ve reached your goal? The interesting thing about acknowledging small steps is it primes your brain to continue taking action. You actually stop your progress when you only count the big things.

Have you felt really good about sharing a small step to then have someone slap it down because it wasn’t enough? Do you resist giving praise for progress on a project because you grew up thinking it only counts when you’ve reached the end?

I am a master “small step celebrator” with my clients. I recognize the small steps necessary to help move them forward. I’m boldly enthusiastic about each small step they take and encourage them to do the same. On the flip side of that, not only do I forget to celebrate my small steps, I often don’t even see them. We often have blinders on about ourselves for those things we easily see in other people.

Last week my accountability partner asked me about my progress on a goal. I hemmed and hawed, thinking I really hadn’t taken action (since I hadn’t completed it). She reminded me that I already had two meetings on the calendar to discuss that project. So, those were steps moving it forward. In my mind, those didn’t count because they were already on the calendar. It wasn’t like I was taking new action on it. I completely forgot that they did, in fact, count!

Let’s dig into this a bit more deeply. What would change for you if you acknowledged taking a step and then felt good about it? I wonder if somehow you see celebrating small steps as the equivalent of receiving a “participation” trophy. Have you become so focused on the big outcome that you don’t let yourself celebrate the little steps along the way? 

A friend said, “But the small steps don’t count! It only counts when I’ve finished and succeeded at the project.” Is that true? Or, is that a belief it’s time to let go of because it keeps you stuck in inaction? I wonder if this ties back to being told, “Don’t be so full of yourself. You’re acting braggy!” Then again, it really doesn’t matter what the origin is. It’s more about recognizing those judgmental voices in your head as you tamp yourself down. Call out those voices and let the celebration begin!

Since Mardi Gras is right around the corner it might be time to adopt, “Laissez les bon temps rouler” – let the good times roll. What if that was your attitude toward your small steps? Imagine if every small step was a cause to celebrate. What if those small celebrations actually lead you to completing more? Interesting, isn’t it?

What is a way for you to see those small steps? And, how could you remember to count your small steps?  My dad used to say, “Little by little, bit by bit.” That is so true here. It’s about building your “celebration and taking action” muscles. Start celebrating one small step at a time and see them add up. 

I personally like to give myself gold stars. There’s something inherently pleasing about putting that star on a sheet of paper. What gives you satisfaction as you celebrate your small steps? Share your celebrations below! We’ll clap for you!!!

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What is your default, ease and flow or struggle? Given those options you might think, of course, I choose ease and flow. You might be mistaken. Many people see working hard and struggling as a badge of honor. You tell yourself you must work hard in order for something to count. That simply isn’t true.

Struggle is an indicator that there is a different way to solve your problem. We often dwell on the times we struggle or make a mistake rather than when we do something effortlessly. It’s time to shift your focus and remember those projects you completed with ease.

What if obstacles are opportunities to be curious and explore different ways to solve problems with more ease? Use struggle as an invitation to look for an easier, more creative way. Brainstorm off-the-wall ideas that lead you to an aha you’d never thought of before. Be bold and try something completely different.

Start by remembering times that have been effortless. Those are the moments that were so easy it almost felt magical. What was different about them? Your body will give you visceral cues. Where in your body do you feel lightness when a project is effortless? Use that to propel yourself into ease.

On the flip side, what are indicators that you’re struggling? Do you twist yourself into a pretzel, trying to make something work? When you notice it, shift gears into possibilities. Remember a time of ease and flow, notice how that feels. Tap into that in your current project.

Use water as a teacher. It always follows the path of ease and flow. Water simply slips around obstacles or settles into the stillness of being where it is. It doesn’t try to force itself to go any particular way. Water gets to its destination by following ease and flow.

How do you move into ease and flow? Do you get curious, explore, slow down, or meditate to connect with your inner self? There is no magic, “do these 7 things” and you will have ease and flow. It takes noticing what facilitates ease for you. Maybe it’s as simple as setting up your office to reflect who you are by having fresh flowers on your desk. Choose one this week and see how ease and flow support you.

This post makes me chuckle. I’ve been “struggling” to write this for several days. Sheesh! I wrote 7 pages as I was meandering around in my mind and none of it was cohesive. So, I decided to let it sit and come back to it from ease and flow. Thus, the piece you’re reading today.

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Begin to ask for what you want. Imagine what it would mean for you to know what you want and then ask for it (from yourself or others). It changes everything!

Here’s a simple example of asking for what you want. How often do you choose the same old flavor when you order ice cream? Is it because that’s your favorite flavor? Or is it because it’s become a habit and you’re not sure what other flavor you might want? Next time try something new. Pick a scoop or two or three simply because you like the color or the name. You get to choose a flavor just because you want to. I would love to try all of the flavors in the picture!

Kids are great teachers in the “wanting” department because they are experts. They are focused and determined. Kids know what they want and are single-minded in their quest for getting it. The key is that they know exactly what they want. They aren’t wishy-washy, at all.

A few weeks ago I watched a toddler dump her toys out so she could sit in the bin. It was barely big enough for her to fit in, but she was determined. Her first strategy was to do a summersault into the bin. As you can imagine, headfirst didn’t work. Then she held onto the sides and got one foot in, but couldn’t get the other foot in because her hands were in the way. Her next strategy was to move her hands around to get both legs in. She was delighted!

Next up, how to climb back out without tipping over or hanging onto the sides. After many trials she figured out how to step in, sit down, and then step back out with ease. She was thrilled and so proud of herself! I was fascinated watching her problem solve. She was clear about what she wanted and kept trying different things until she achieved it. We could learn a lot from this little girl.

As a kid, I couldn’t wait for the Sears catalog to arrive. I looked at all of those possibilities and either cut out my favorite pictures or wrote a list. I wanted to make sure Santa knew exactly what I wanted! Who knew that cutting out those pictures was the precursor to creating a vision board? Kids are experts at saying what they want, until they are taught to tone it down.

Why don’t you ask for what you want?

Often you don’t ask for what you want because you don’t even know what that is. You’ve gotten out of the habit of letting yourself know what you really want. Your go-to is to defer to others.

Other times you don’t ask for what you want because you don’t want to over-step your bounds. That’s some really old self-talk! Growing up you heard, “Don’t be so full of yourself!” The subtext of that is, don’t ask for what you want because you shouldn’t be so selfish.

Do you tell yourself that you really don’t care and either choice is ok? I challenge that – it’s a habit! Pay very close attention to your mind chatter. Notice how often you defer to others. You’ll feel it viscerally. It might feel like a pit in your stomach. Or you might feel a sense of “meh” because you really do know what you want, but this isn’t it! Many relationships would improve by simply asking for what you want and allowing the other person to do the same.

Get curious when you notice you have automatically deferred to someone else’s choice. Be clear about what you want. Decide what you want and ask for it. It might be choosing what to order out for dinner. Maybe it’s choosing the movie to watch. It could even be sharing a great new idea at work. Let me know what happens when you ask for what you want.

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What inspires you to take action? How do you prime the pump to take action rather than simply think about something? Priming the pump is an oldie, but a goodie about getting a start to create flow.

The chatter in your mind can keep you running around in circles. I often find myself thinking the same thing over and over and over again when I am stuck. That leads to inaction because I can’t figure out what the “right” next step should be. Notice the judgment there! What if “right” or “wrong” isn’t even part of the equation? The real question is, what would be an inspired action I could take?

How do you find inspiration? Sometimes I take my laptop to a coffee shop and drink a mocha while I write. I often have words fly off my fingers when I’m around other people. That’s a different experience than when I’m by myself, writing in my office. This might be a Life Energy thing, since I have Aliveness Life Energy.

You might find inspiration when you are doing something creative like playing music, painting, connecting with friends, or taking a walk. I include connecting with friends and taking a walk as part of creativity. Often it’s in those moments that inspiration will pop into your mind.

When you have those whispers of inspiration, do you listen and then act on them? Whispers often come in when you are doing something “mindless” like taking a shower or letting your mind wander. That reminds me of teachers saying, “Get your head out of the clouds!” What if having your head in the clouds is exactly where you find what inspires you?

What kind of action do you take when you hear those whispers? It might be the perfect time to reconnect with the person who popped into your mind. Maybe it’s time to write that proposal about a new way of managing a project. And, actually submit it! The whisper might be a reminder to notice how your Life Purpose aligns with your work, or doesn’t. How have you gotten off track?

Inspiration isn’t logical and it isn’t linear. Often we don’t give credence to something that seems to pop out of nowhere. Follow those ideas and see where they lead you. This week notice where your inspiration comes from. What inspires you to move forward in a way you haven’t thought of before? Where can you take risks, framing them as exploration without the fear of getting it “wrong”? I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments below.

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