PURSE GIRL DIARIES

For My Fave Gossip Girls - K + L

2011-05-01T07:27:00.000-07:00

Thursday recaps of the show are not the same without you two...keep smiling and making art! Bring your own S and B charm to everything you do and remember Chuck, Lonely Boy and Justin Bieber think you rock!!!!

Sister Goddess Desire - textiles and shoes

2011-03-26T23:57:00.000-07:00

There are not too many people I would really want to swap lives with. I mean people are doing amazing and meaningful work around the world 24/7 and I am inspired and often full of good envy for their gifts and accomplishments, but I am very grateful to be in my own skin and in my own life. With that said, I would have totally grooved off swapping a few moments of Jenna Lyons' life during her "J Crew goes to Italy" Adventure. Getting to be behind the scenes and work with real artisans would be amazing. I'm gushing writing this. To watch people hand paint fabrics and charming old Italian cobblers pump out leather and denim sparkly stilettos - yeah, I would love to be there.
So as I pass these videos on, I am in my PG-fashion, sharing one of my desire with you and the universe. Oh universe and supportive people, places, things (?) and opportunities, please assist me in making my way to these delightful manufacturers on a spirited and productive trip much like Ms. Jenna and her talented crew.

tick tock no boom, thank you

2011-03-20T07:55:00.000-07:00

As the month winds down I am quite frankly ready for a new month and new 12TO42Project Challenge. Gratitude can be a biyotch! Being thankful and appreciative is not problematic (at least not for me), as I had the incredible good fortune and upbringing to value all that I have even if it appears (or in some cases actually is) not quite enough. What I am repeatedly reminded of during these challenges is how we get and/or in my case create situations and opportunities that demand a stepping up to a new place and perspective. Meaning in plain English - be careful what you ask for and know that there is no "bread of shame" (free lunch/free pass) when you really want to change.
In wanting to tap into my sense of gratitude I knew my sense of "plenty" would be tested. Its easy to be thankful for what you have when you want not for more. But can one be grateful when there is a lack, pain or suffering, inconvenience and fear?

Living in Japan, actually a stones throw from the Atomic Bomb Peace Park, I am often reminded (like everyday, sometimes multiple times in a day) of history, death and transformation. How grateful am I to have lived through 9-11 only to move across the world to see how repair can occur and productive, healing dialogue can begin and continue on and on. Last week when we experienced a major earthquake and tsunami, my sense of appreciation soared. How lucky am I to be so far south of the disaster area that although I felt after shocks (old building and an apartment on the 8th floor) I was and continue to be safe. How grateful am I that my outsourcing company has an excellent customer service approach and called me to see if I was ok - actually alerting me to the magnitude of the tremor I thought was just "a little earthquake". I'm also grateful that my friends who were in the area are safe and my family and friends reached out in a way that although extremely panicked, showed their love and care. I am grateful to be thought of and worried about - it's touching and sweet. I'm also grateful that I don't speak enough Japanese to fully understand the local/national news because I see how its making people freak out, freaky and freaked - all not in a good way. I'm grateful that I am so busy with the pleasures of my life that I am not worrying about what I coulda/shoulda (regret - very anti gratitude) and am living life to the fullest, appreciating all I have so if (G-d forbid) tomorrow is not so fortunate, nothing was taken for granted. I'm grateful that I don't tweet (unless you are Obama or the ghost of Mother Teresa, I'm not interested) and that I've actually been too beautifully busy that I would rather live than blog about my life.

I'm also grateful that my cats are sleeping through the night, Gossip Girl still makes me smile and I still learn a lot from Southern Cross's weekly quiz night. I'm grateful that despite all the craziness in the world, I haven't lost my sense of hope, optimism, grace and humor. (If you've seen me depressed, pessimistic, pissed off or pissy, you'd be grateful too).
xo Purse Girl

Month 8 Challenge - Gratitude and Desire

2011-03-02T21:49:00.000-08:00

so grateful for my few close friends - I heart you

I loved bragging last month so much that I continue to do so - while brushing my teeth, on the treadmill and in the sauna, when I'm waiting in line, before I drift off to sleep and when I rise in the morning. I even brag online (SisterGoddess.com) and have been blessed to receive snaps for my smarts, conjuring abilities and fearless approach to living a pleasure-packed and abundant life. Recently in a soulful skype-chat with a dear friend who like myself is moving at light-speed through transitions, reinvigorations and reinventions we joked about "asking, believing and receiving". Well actually he joked - as in poking fun at me and my Napoleon Hill cheer leading. What I forgot to remind him to do to further activate the changes he desired was to be grateful for what he had. At that time and place. So, this month, I challenge myself to walk my talk and tap into that sense of gratitude. As I wallow in my desire, I'll stand, sit, speak, be in full gratitude of what I already have, where I am, with whom I am and who I am. Maybe I'll brag about how grateful I am while I'm at it:)

I Brag I'm an Awesome Teacher

2011-02-11T23:41:00.000-08:00

I brag that I am an awesome teacher.

I brag that I inspire my students beyond measure and provide them with skills and tools to grow creatively, intellectually and personally. I instruct and guide, care and encourage, present and manage, lead and sometimes follow. My students become masters of their own learning destiny and I brag that with my superb teaching they joyously embrace the responsibility that is inherent with that mastery.


a strong teacher draws out the greatness

I brag that I'm an excellent teacher because I have the skill, credentials and experience as well as the vision, resourcefulness and passion.

I brag that I am an exceptional teacher because I walk the walk, speak the truth, do as I say and let what I do speak for itself...even if it speaks alone, it speaks clearly and loudly and is heard.

a great teacher is a willing student

I brag that I am an unforgettable teacher because my being makes an impression in my student's mind, heart and soul. I challenge and push them to their limits and then beyond their fears and other's expectations. They begin to see what they can accomplish through my care, discipline, respect and confidence in them. There's no room for punitive measures - the positives are accentuated so much that they outshine the weaknesses which eventually dissolve.

I brag that students want, yearn and beg to work with me and only the finest institutions (those that share my style and mission and honor my strengths) are like magnets to me and the work I do.

I brag that I am an amazing teacher because I'm not to proud to think there's nothing new for me to learn.

Month 7 Challenge: Bragalicious!

2011-02-06T02:04:00.000-08:00

Amy Chua wrote what I thought was a brilliant, adorably loony and a few centimeters of spot-on article in the WSJ, of all places, essentially bragging about why/how she and other "Chinese" (like-minded) mothers are superior. The lady has balls and boobs and a whip tucked in her apron. But boy was she funny...again, or so I thought; in stark contrast to the multitude of other mothers (American, Jewish, Indian, Italian, whatever) who clearly but not so articulately wrote of how they felt otherwise. Granted the topic, child-raising and motherhood is a spicy one. Want to hit a woman hard in the core, tell her she's a suck mother. Being called a B-tch or S--t would likely sting less.


I brag that I am loving and nurturing...and a great cook

But as truly powerful women do, Chua focused not on what other women were doing wrong (although of course it was implied), but rather on what she was doing right. A Sister Goddess Brag and a half. But the sad truth of the matter, aside from her daughter's tortured journey to classical piano greatness and eventual joy, is that a pat on the back, a playful indulging in one's triumph or success is still taboo. Well, I'm inspired by Chua. While her mothering techniques are hardcore, I've met few mothers with as much passion and direction. She may be a mother Tiger, but you kinda want to pet her or at the very least, have her on your side. Fierce.

I brag that I'm an excellent student and a marvelous teacher

So in honor of passion and joy, being unapologetically yourself, your best goddess self, and of course my half-birthday (Feb 3rd), this month's 12to42 Challenge is to brag. Everyday. Now I know bragging is defined as boasting, showing off, being arrogant, but it also signifies acknowledging what is "exceptionally good". My bragging will be of the SG kind... "to share the goodness in your life, especially your pleasurable accomplishments, in order to unearth your desires and to fan the flames of desire in other women."

I brag that I am a hottie in my corset

Like my other challenges, this month of bragging isn't merely for kicks and giggles. Realizing the balance between letting your light shine bright and inviting/receiving more amazing luck,love,pleasure, success and happiness is groundbreaking. Mastering the art is worth aspiring to. So while some may see my bragging as show-offy, conceited, greedy or not what nice girls do...I say, jack into your higher wattage, stop hiding yourself and accomplishments, jump off that pleasure-restrictive diet and try a little of your own bragging. Cause at the end of the day, I'm not really interested in being a nice girl, especially when its way more fun being a Sister Goddess.

I heart PRADA

2011-02-05T22:46:00.000-08:00

Since the 90's UES "IT-Girl" phenom began, my like/love/lust for all things PRADA began. I know it sounds terribly or terrifically materialistic and superficial, but since my eyes first fell on that black nylon back pack, I knew the woman I was deep inside and would eventually become. Okay, I've been drinking a bit of cough medicine and have a slight fever, but delusional I am not about that something PRADA does for me.

As a modest dresser, only in my 40's have I really embraced the mini skirt, with opaque tights and lace up booties of course. But mostly its the Fellini-esque style of hinting and suggesting, simple elegant feminine dresses, slightly androgynous styling and crazy prints that I am yearning to wear all the time (ignoring the obvious impracticalities that are present commuting mostly by bicycle). And despite the inconvenience and likelihood of getting paint and goo in my hair, I now let it down and apologetically add a bit of volume and/or length to dramatize my mood, because artists can be as lush and sensual as their work. This personal fashion revolution and evolution has been brewing for a while and is about to intersect beautifully - idea of self meets courage to be self meets means and material to help self manifest.

While its been suggested, almost rudely, but hey, I can forgive although clearly I didn't forget, that this fascination is about maintaining youth or recapturing it, I couldn't deny if I tried the playful and uninhibited spirit that must be possessed in order to wear some of the ensembles. But that would be impossible to do regardless of age - these clothes are not for the jaded or those who actually believe that a dress can change your life. Its the other way around folks.

Back to my "hearting"... PRADA is clever, cheeky, fun, sexy, no sultry, girly and strong, clean, classic, referential and edgy. It makes me laugh and gush and if it were a boy, I'd ask it out on a date.

xo PG

Month 6 Challenge: 12to42Project

2011-01-06T17:30:00.000-08:00

I've been hesitant to start a new challenge this month/year because I was so loving last month's challenge of focusing. Last month I was laser-sharp, okay well a soft laser, but (BIH) fortunately I was focused enough to make great strides and progress in the areas where I was, well focused. So, I'm extending the challenge to this month as well. The targets are slightly different (I added one, or two) but still within the same neighborhood. So, I may be off the radar this month (or the rest of it), but no fear, I'll be working hard, uber busy and getting oh so closer to my 42 Projects ta-da moment!!!

Stay Warm,

xoPurse Girl

Imaginary NYE Dressing

2010-12-30T03:28:00.000-08:00

I have spent the last few NYEs pretty much on the downlow. Even last year when Mr. PG and I were in New York City, a stone's throw from Times Square and JayZ, I still couldn't persuade Mr. PG to stand in the cold or even pressed against the window of a random restaurant in the W Hotel to ring in the new year. In fact, it took all my womanly skills to lure him outside into the cold three blocks south of the Gramercy apartment we were subletting to a corner pub that wasn't charging a ridiculous cover. We drank, ate a late snack and smooched. This year with Mr. PG stuck in Korea due to a last minute cancellation of all ferries and totally booked flights back to Hiroshima, I will be sans my man when the clock strikes 12. I will however be going out. Just because I have two cats does not an old maid make I! I won't however be dressing up - no glitter with the exception of maybe some eye shadow and no heels or a sweet new dress to party hard and then lazily fall asleep in. Just jeans, several layers, a glass of wine (or Tequila) and some good friends - mostly Mr. PG's boy posse and their lady friends. But a girl can dress and indulge in a fashion fantasy or two. So this "Pay it Forward" is another nod to an emerging designer d a c e, who made a dress (The Kent Dress) that I secretly and now publicly imagined myself in this NYE. Oh well, maybe next year.
...............

such a scenster in my dace Kent dress!

I want this jacket too!

While Dace Moore's designs may have had humble beginnings (she taught herself how to sew), her luxurious sportswear label has certainly earned its international appeal. The Canadian based brand offers a sophisticated look that is anything but fleece parka-centric. Instead her flirty dresses that rock and tunic-style tops are versatile and seasonless. Her newest collection is arty with an easy edge – retro-inspired patterns balanced by simplistic detailing and tailoring.

From where does Moore draw her inspiration? It's the fabrics and prints that lead Moore in her design narrative. The d a c e aesthetic is fresh and fluid allowing the clothing to reveal the wearer's personal lifestyle. Not the other way around. The locally-knit two-way Sally Shall in cream or black will become a staple in every traveler's wardrobe. The wildly popular Coco pants, sharp high-waisted pants with front buttons are work-and-play appropriate -perfect for the office or a night out with live music; especially when paired with their neo cubist tops. In the Kent dress, a super chic mini sweater dress with cuffed sleeves and front panel detail, the dace girl is part scenster and seductress.
Oh and they're having a sale!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! xo Purse Girl

d a c e is also available at Fablogue.com

Month 5 Challenge: 12To42 Project

2010-12-20T21:00:00.000-08:00

My kind of focus..... be yourself!

Pay it Forward - Emerging Designers to Watch 1

2010-12-13T05:04:00.000-08:00

While I have been mega focused on a project (or 2) at hand, I've still managed to squeeze in quality hours e-shopping and dream closet fantasizing. And of course wondering how I plan to solve the world economic crisis in my sleep because I'm too busy during waking hours;) With 12 days, literally, til Christmas and a "no-presents/ just love and quality time family" arrangement (well there will be a few gifts just not on that day necessarily - Mercury Retrograde and Suze Orman both discourage capricious holiday shopping) a girl has to craft a wish list that she'll ultimately fulfill by herself. So aside from world peace, a juicy publishing contract, a few books from my favorite recycle book seller and another astrology reading, and some "for me to know and for you to find out after I get it" things, what would I like? Well, a lot of paying it forward. Proactive Karma. Bragging about another. So, this post is the first of a series that will periodically promote the work of others. People I admire, products I like and artisans/innovators who are emerging big and strong. (like me someday soon).

....................................................

Looking back, what captivated me most about Cinderella's tale was how she and those mice wove together a dress so splendid and magical, that her evil step-sisters never stood a chance at wowing the prince. While I personally transferred my fondness of fairy tales to wishful shopping, Tatyana Merenyuk, the Chicago-based designer of REDDOLL to inspired action at a sewing machine. While only in her late twenties, Tatyana, who grew up in Kiev, has an old-world feminine charm that she has artfully injected into her collection.

For this designer a daily uniform of skirts and dresses are more her style than skinny jeans. It's that fantastic flirty fun that is at the heart of her work. Don't be fooled by the playfulness - these pieces (mostly dresses, but coats and skirts, too) are superiorly handcrafted one-of-a kind and limited edition pieces made of luxe fabrics like silk, brocade, toile and cotton sateen. Quality, craftsmanship and fine tailoring are also key elements of her distinctive line. To some, the art of "dressing up" could be seen as old fashioned. Yet faced with a closetful of REDDOLL's bright and colorful cocktail and event dresses, "prim" and "proper" are the not words that come to mind. (My personal faves are the Orchid Bubble and Matchstick Girl Dresses).

Tatyana's line is fresh and modern thus making her dresses attractive to young and "grown-up" customers. If you are attending a ball, fete or petite sioree, a Red Doll dress will ensure your story is told far across the lands.

REDDOLL is also sold on Etsy.com

I heart The Recession Apprentice

2010-12-01T19:13:00.000-08:00

I'm an not a couch potato by any means, but I can clock in a few hours (or more) of streamed tv. Usually, I'm doing a few things at once, but yes, I admit it, I have a few prime time faves. Most of you know my heart is solidly attached to Gossip Girl and Project Runway, but I have deep-rooted affections for Law&Order SVU and the Good Wife. I strive for balance. But my on-again-off-again relationship with Trump's The Apprentice has recently heated up again and the experience resonate.

First, the show had me with the theme song, "Money money money money, Money...." I'm a capitalist please don't shoot. Trump Towers which was a good seven blocks from my old NYC apartment and his AC casinos (a quick late-night New Jersey gambling feast away) never really wet my whistle, but the idea of working hard, making deals, being innovative and bespoke suiting was and continues to be a turn on. This season, the 10th (gosh I suddenly feel older) is as much about rising up, or more accurately climbing back up, to the top as it is enjoying the view once you summit. This is soul, sweat, wit and passion. Hot.

all suited up

team play

This season's angle is one that I'm sure many can relate to especially considering it's centered on our current economic reality. Most striking, aside from the possible clinical craziness of some of the players, is how they choose to deal with the immediate stress of the task and the ongoing stress of rebuilding their life. They fight like starving self-entitled wolves, not only to win and become the Grand PoBah, but also to shine because you never know who's looking. Most of these players were recently top dogs and cats in their respected industries. Entrepreneurs, CEOs, lawyers, money management execs and tech wizards. Some may have cashed in their 401Ks to feed their families, downsized to modest walk-ups from over sized estates, but all them saved at least a few suits from the Ebay sell bin and stepped up. I'm very impressed by this - the hunger, the absence of self-pity, the showing up.

I know someone, we'll call her Sara, who decided to pursue a PhD in a liberal arts subject after finishing law school, clerking for a couple of years and raking up about 100k worth of student loans. Sara, a bright young woman, albeit slightly scattered and non-committal about her career, devotes what seems to be a considerable amount of time to posting/sharing articles that rant on about the unfair wages of graduate student and PhD candidate adjunct teachers. While she stands perched high on her internet soapbox, I can't help but wonder why she can't or won't just get a job. Perhaps she could create a non-profit that campaigns for the rights of over-educated proletarians through post-WW2 literature reading programs.But that would require actually working.

fake it till you make it?

Like Sara, what's surprisingly lacking in the recession-Apprentice crew is humility and accountability. It's transparent in the effortless way they throw each other under the bus, but that's nothing new really to this reality show's game play. These execs, with exception of a few, seem to have forgotten that the first step to getting up from a fall, is learning from your mistakes. Most seem to perceive their tenuous position as a fluke and their time on the show is simply a step back to reclaim their proper place in the world. While that may be true (just check out the video updates of fired contestants) it's forward that they need to move - forward in their thinking, creativity, skills and attitude. They need to be risk-takers, not risk-talkers, doers and experimenters, investigators and collaborators...alchemists of sorts.

dream job

Who do I want to win? Well as a Renaissance woman myself, I'm rooting for Clint. However, Brandi is stronger and smarter than her name suggests and I imagine fierce is a card she has up her sleeves. Either way, they both rock and I'd love to work with and/or for either one. Recently I dreamt of being in the boardroom and I delivered one of the most compelling and eloquent "dream scape" speeches ever. Perhaps its a secret longing or better yet, a premonition. Mr. Trump, if you need an entrepreneurial project manager with a similar creative neurotic attention to detail as business maven Martha Stewart, just pop me a line.

12to42 Project: Month 5 Challenge

2010-11-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm still here, just at a slight distance. Last month was initially about being jacked into the world, the bigger fish bowl beyond the mountains I can see from my rooftop garden via daily newspaper reading. It turned out that while the attainment of knowledge was at the root of the challenge, the information gained had more to do with the self-knowledge kind. The stuff you can't read in print or online - unless of course my daydream of being a Vogue editor comes true and a zillion subscribers join this blog. (BTW, that was a hint to the universe). All this reflection stirred my pot so much that this month I decided to dive even deeper and uncover more diamonds in my mine/mind. How? Focus.

As you know, I'm a super huge Gossip Girl fan. (it keeps me younger than botox ever could) What I get reved up on, besides the social hierarchies and constant fashion editorial opps, is how the women, even slightly ditsy Serena can multitask. Where and how do they find the time? (Darota and car service help). Anyhoo, I've been struck by the way this awesome project/interest/goal juggling is not merely a fictional character trait. Some of my GG ladies are uber and alpha beyond the CW as well. Well as much as I'd like to scribble on and on about the pros of being and doing everything at the same time, this renaissance girl is taking a break from her alchemy and doing what needs to be done. Focus (of course there are 3 things I'm focusing on, but I'm trying, ehh). So here's a salute to doing more than one thing at a time, and quite frankly, doing it well!

xo PG

Unpacking Ideas and Building Experiences

2010-11-18T03:50:00.000-08:00

Black Feminism, Tyler Perry Style
Why Ntozake Shange's feminist message of gender equality, reproductive justice and sexual liberation has been seriously compromised in the hands of the hit filmmaker.

Why Are There So Many Errors in The Anthology of Rap?
The editors respond to the errors discovered in The Anthology of Rap.

Burger Queen
April Bloomfield’s gastropub revolution.

Body of Work
November 1, 2010
This week in the magazine, Peter Schjeldahl reviews the Paul Thek retrospective at the Whitney Museum of Art. Here Schjeldahl looks at Thek’s work, from his wax sculptures and self portraits to his more recent abstract paintings.

Great Homes and Destinations

In Beirut, a Town House Rises From Rubble

By SETH SHERWOOD

Published: November 17, 2010

The owners saw the potential in a bullet-riddled wreck, filling it with modern furniture and contemporary art.

Artsy Fartsy

2010-11-10T03:34:00.000-08:00

Orchestras on Big Screens: Chase Scene Needed?
By DANIEL J. WAKIN
HD technology and movie theater broadcasts are changing the way performing arts are produced.

Image by Vogue

When ‘Best’ Isn’t Good Enough
By JUDITH NEWMAN
E-mail signoffs can be a clue to both the personality of the sender and the standing the recipient has in the sender’s social universe.

Irving Penn

While Warning About Fat, U.S. Pushes Cheese Sales
By MICHAEL MOSS
When sales of Domino’s Pizza were lagging, a government agency stepped in with advice: more cheese. This is the same government that, for health reasons, is advising less cheese.

knowledge is power

2010-11-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

smart girl

After a trying month of being intentionally, purposefully, quite committed to being happy, I discovered the hardest part of maintaining that glow (inside and out) is accepting, as painful as it might be that knowledge is power. When you decide to be happy, its a fascinating show to watch how some people around you will　contort and consort themselves silly and reckless just to mess you up. The fury it ignites is similar to the way a few miserable souls respond to mimes -with hatred and contempt. But as my mother always said and I think a few notable mafia folk and Nobel Prize-winners would agree, knowledge is power. Better to know where you stand with people than to be falsely blissed out on ignorance. Real happiness,　if you know what it is will be on hand, within reach, already there by your side to remind you to smile.

back to the books, oh I mean newspapers

So this month I decided to reacquaint myself with an old habit that has lost its influence on my life. Reading the paper. I'm not just speaking about news as in the lost miners or who Tiger woods shagged (as if that were news, per se) or the rising unemployment rates. I just mean reading the paper - knowing what others are paid to share with the world and what is essentially going on. Often here in historical but otherwise culturally-lame Hiroshima, I am starving to be jacked in, connected, in-the-know, a participant about something a bit less small town narcissistic like who punched who after 10 beers at the local pub. Instead of providing more of my commentary (because as much as its about me, this month its really about everyone else), I've decided to post what I read. Oh dear God, not everything. Just a link here and there so you can see what I'm plugged into (fortunately for the straight boys, more than Gossip Girl and fashion week). Think of it as paying knowledge forward. Enjoy, happy reading and empowerment.
xo Purse Girl

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/07/fashion/07Modern.html
NYT/Fashion & Style

Breathe In, Breathe Out, Fall in Love
By PAGAN KENNEDY
Published: November 4, 2010
Falling in love with someone in the meditation room happens so often that some Buddhists have a name for it: the Vipassana Romance (V.R., for short).

Happiness is....opportunities

2010-10-31T06:02:00.000-07:00

I'm at the end of my 12to42 Month Challenge. Be happy. And I was. For the most part. Even amazingly at times when I was having a fit, I was happy having my fit. Enjoying it, smiling on the inside and rejoicing in the pleasure of expressing myself. Be careful for what you wish for - you get opportunities to create what you desire.

Stay tuned for next month when I commit to reading the paper everyday.

Happy Halloween

2010-10-31T05:56:00.000-07:00

Responsibility - politically straight-up

2010-10-18T23:47:00.000-07:00

It's a shame that Gay and Lesbian Rights activists need to start their own parade, campaign, movement, awareness. Its a shame that in this day and age, in this world that we can clone sheep, become impregnated via a syringe and dish, touch the moon and see each other via video skype (how very Jetsons) that we cannot get over two people who love each other and want to spend their lives together in an official, legal and formal way cannot because they share the same gender. Its a shame that as members of a progressive first world society that we can busy ourselves with who Tiger Woods is bonking outside of his marriage, but we can't extend the same social/human/civil rights of marriage to gays and lesbians. Its a shame that we only think being gay and lesbian is cool if humorized on TV - outside of the plasma HD realm, they are about as cool as rabies. It's a shame, but you know what? What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger and the Gay and Lesbian community knows how to stand tall and tell you exactly what they want.

Happiness is....

2010-10-10T19:49:00.000-07:00

Being happy, grabbing for happiness and holding it close requires a different kind of goal-attainment strategy. Where I am usually oozing with satisfaction after completing a daunting task, or pushing myself to a new height, above and over obstacles, happiness, or at least the kind I've come to really appreciate is a zillion times more effortless (on my part), less ambitious and perhaps a bit silly.
Happiness is naughtiness. No, not that kind (well not necessarily - wink wink). I'm referring to that mischievousness that small children own. The giddiness derived from doing something they probably have no business doing, but in the end it's harmless mostly because the intention is based on having fun (at no one's expense, I might add).
Happiness is winning on Ebay.
Happiness is racing on my bike, with my music so loud I may risk hearing impairment in my later years, passing other riders with curves and swerves with such joyful adrenaline, I don't even feel the need to flick them off when they pop into my lane and force me to slam on the breaks.
Happiness is a full day in my pajamas, reading magazines, watching reality TV and hanging out with Mr. PG and PG Cat #1 and #2 without a shower, productive activity or a stitch of guilt.
Happiness is the perfect banana protein shake, skim latte and morning cocktail of bee pollen and Carnitall 600
Happiness is being a good friend even to a stranger. (not an easy task, but definitely yields happiness)
Happiness is limited profiles and lower doses of Facebook.

Happiness is seeing my garden rehabilitate itself without lifting a finger.

Happiness is watching Style.com, ANTM and The Satorialist street videos and then prancing around the house as if I too were a supermodel.

Happiness is having the balls to take my crazy ensembles on the road and feeling (hopefully looking too)pretty damn good.
Happiness is after a long and hard week, giving time to enjoy cafe time (think chilling in Paris), cocktail hour (imagine New York City on East 56th) and Shabbat (think Eat, Pray, Love with less angst and more challah)
Happiness is listening to Dan Savage's podcasts and realizing a) I am really liberal and open-minded, b) still thankfully a bit of a prude and c) even as a straight girl, have contributed over the years (through protests, marches and education) to bringing continued awareness and civil rights to the LGBT community.
Happiness is standing up for myself, by myself and when necessary (and without asking) with a posse-full of Sopranos-loving supporters waiting in the parked car down the street.
Happiness is teaching/making/studying art, BIHK cooking, all my blogging, fashion writing and designer editorials, and getting paid well for work I love.
Happiness is seeing artisans create really good stuff...and being able to wiggle my butt into it:)

12to42Project - Month 3 Challenge Happiness

2010-10-02T16:12:00.000-07:00

Who sang that song, "Don't worry, be happy"? and wasn't it that Lion King tune, "akudamatada" or something that promoted charging up one's internal happiness engine? After two physically and mentally active months of challenging myself to not settle for good, but to push on to be better, I decided this month to stretch my spiritual and emotional muscles. (BTW, still working out on average 5-6 days a week and actually enjoy it; endorphins rock!) Last month was awesome, I wrote like Harper Lee meets Bridget Jones on a Vogue assignment and I loved it. The more I wrote, the more I had to write. It turns out I have tons to say and have the good fortune to be able to capture an attentive audience. Thank you all for listening/reading.

Back to happiness...I am a pretty optimistic soul. In my wedding vows I promised to channel much of my cheer leading spirit and pep squad perkiness into taking our marriage to new heights. I could hold the crown for Mistress Lemons to Lemonade, and if Salem hunts were still the rage, I'd be the campaign manager sprinkling my positive spin on the merits of witchery. Its all in your perspective, I've often believed, but since I live far from Neverland and rose-colored glasses get in the way of my clear vision, I'm perplexed by how is this perspective shaped? I am reminded of Neo and my Matrix mantra, "there is no spoon"; so the idea(l) of happiness must be manufactured, bottled and stored inside.
What is happiness exactly? Its like love, you can't explain it, but you know it when you feel it. Is it glee (certainly not the TV show)? Perhaps. Is it fun and a sense of carefree - like bowling or Paris? Could be. Security, safety, confidence? Peace, harmony, kindness. Fulfilment, purpose, sharing and success. We'll see. For now, all I know despite my easy access to the emotion, that it, it being happiness, is more than not, fleeting. My challenge this month is to possess it, embody it and exude it without holding on so tightly.

Write no evil....

2010-09-26T01:38:00.000-07:00

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". This proverb is a popular emotional sedative prescribed to crying primary children who are too petrified to show their face because of excessive teasing or outright bullying. Its a mantra that many of us continue chanting to ourselves way into adulthood, especially when we find ourselves shuddering from the sting of back-handed compliments. We call it turning a cheek, but when a frienemy squeals for all surrounding towns and districts to hear, "OMG that dress actually looks good on you, I'm surprised it even came in yours size. Did you have to special order it?", really what we want to do is slap her hard across hers. For that exact reason, its rare these days that even the most insensitive wolf-raised ninnies would dare dump such words face-to-face, risking RHWoNJ-style table-flipping and hair-pulling. It's no wonder that our passive-aggressive word shaping has shifted to the written word.
In Milan Kundera's "Slowness", a couple embark on a dreamy albeit yuppy sojourn through the French countryside. With historic maps and converted castle B&Bs reserved, they drive from palace to palace vicariously living and loving like a Vicomte, Madame and Marquis. During their stay at a non-discript chateau, they ponder the slowness at which invitations, proposals and even rejection were communicated. One would scribe (as in hand write with an ink-dipped feather-pen) an often lengthy letter, which after being sealed with wax and crest stamp, was hand carried to the recipient via horse or horse-drawn carraige. The time lapse could be as long as a week, sometimes more in cases of poor weather or revolutions. Another couple weeks may pass before the reply was received. There were likely few booty calls, or perhaps that's what the handmaidens were there for. Now with an email, IM, text or tweet a message may be sent, received and replied to in a second. Words meant for few eyes only can not be read. then burned in fireplaces and lost without record. What was or should be private, can be forwarded on, or blasted all over for the world, at least to "friends and followers" to read. Too many of those words, written in fastness tend not to be nice.

Case in point, think back to when President Obama's inauguration was viewed all over Youtube. At one instant, two historic occasions occurred - an African-American man's acceptance into elected office and the technological availability for the world to see it simultaneously. Within in minutes however everyone and their mother had not only an opinion, but a place to dump it. On Youtube comments. How easy to carve a man who had earned the potential to significantly impact the world, by leading his nation forward with a keystroke and finger-pointing judgements. But let's bring it back to you and me and how casually we use our words to hurt. When we write snide little comments at other people's expense on our Facebook wall and when called on it, try to disguise it as our dark sense of humor. Before we pen our next comedic post, might we consider a bit more who will be laughing. Or when we write and send that email with CAPS, attacking unsolicited advice and the acknowledgement that what we are writing is really none of our business, it might be prudent to draft more than one statement before hitting send. And when we kid ourselves into thinking our tweeting personal information and details to all 268 of our little followers for the sake of "discussion", lets try and make sure its our privacy we are disclosing. My mother often reminds me in moments of utter upset with the social ineptitude of the masses, not every one got the script in the mail. How ironic her choice of words. I don't expect others to necessarily possess the same level of appreciation for writing with thoughtfulness, nor do I expect others to share a similar communicative ethic. I do firmly believe its worth noting, especially to a few sharp fingered scribes, that one should not dish (write) what they cannot take (read). Imagine how different our word play would be if we got that script and memorized it.

12to42 Project: Month 2 Challenge - Pen and Paper Please

2010-09-07T01:52:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a story tell - I have a few. When I was twelve I began penning my first novel. I kid you not. I watched a lot of TV, read the newspaper more than I do now and had a mom who spoke the original "yes you can" pep talk. I wrote 30+ pages into a mega drama about a NY Times journalist who was all work and no play. Her life is turned upside down when she receives a plum assignment - interview the son of a Russian diplomat trying to defect to the US. It was part Baryshnikov fantasy and headline reality (16 year old Andrei Berezhkov actually tried to defect) with a bit of Seventeen Magazine sprinkled on top. My protagonist falls for the very argumentative, brutish press rep and a love affair begins. Long story short, there's international passion, politics, the KGB and journalistic integrity all wrapped up in a highly Hollywood-optionable dramatic ending on an airfield tarmat. My mother was part wowed and part petrified that our phones would be tapped (huge conspiracy theorist), so the writing ceased. For a while.

I always thought I'd make an excellent journalist, largely because I was a big nosy-body and was (still am) very skilled at sussing out secrets and back story info. But journalism bored me from time to time so much that I occasionally "tweaked" stories and while that was not so long ago, acceptable at the NY Times, I fortunately had a stronger moral compass and shifted back to fiction and memoir. Writing has always been one of those things I did, but without the kind of discipline or focus that could have pulled back the layers of its potential; revealing a good story or two.

So this month, I'm doing just that. Writing. Every day. Daily. For a month. Since the month's start, I've resuscitated writing projects that lay dormant in my imagination and half scribbled in notebooks in the back of my closet. Of course my mind is flooded with ideas, but its putting them to paper (or word document) that is the goal. I'm not limiting myself to stories or even working on a particular big project, although I'm certain that will come in a few months through another challenge. I'm writing articles (not the fabricated fact kind), editorials, essays and chapters in my cookbook. My blogs count and considering the excessive commentary I've provided in response to some Facebook posts and annoying Op-eds, that writing might have to count as well. Who knows...I may even pick-up where I left off some 29 years ago - don't be surprised if you see "The Cold Summer" on a Barnes & Noble bookshelf in a couple years time. Or better yet, on the NY Times Bestsellers List. (never hurts to dream)

12to42 Month 1 Challenge - Finito!

2010-08-31T21:08:00.000-07:00

Thank god! I'm not going to lie to you - this challenge was HARD. Despite the fact that I fancy myself a little athletic chica, it took my mind, my body and cosmic energy awhile to make peace with the demands of this challenge. I imagined at the end of the month my love for exercise would have blossomed fully into a passion great enough to push me out of bed to go on early morning bike rides or pull me gently into the gym after a long day of teaching, writing, arting and living. I'm still waiting for that flame to ignite. What I did discover (aside from my physical ism with yoga and that tequila and nachos do not make a stellar workout diet), is that I need to workout as much as I thought I did but for different reasons. Coasting along the river on my bike was like chapters from Conversations with God or occasionally Are you There God, It's me Margaret. I felt a spiritual calm that was far more potent than any Valium/Xanax cocktail. Some worship, I ride. This workout regimen required a kindness to self that I had forgotten - eating well, sleeping enough and managing my mental and physical time in such a way that my health and wellness was the priority; because without that everything else falls to s%?t. I did shed a few kilos and certain parts are sitting higher and firmer than they were 4 weeks ago.

What got me through the month:

-Tracy Anderson Perfect Design and Mat workout DVDs
-Jillian Michaels 30-Day Shred
-a bit of Cross Fit Training - hardcore high school track and field
-Elle Make-Better Yoga DVD with Brooklyn Decker and Tara Styles
-YMCA gym membership
-my baby - recycled racing mountain bike
-My Come Up - motivational videos, lectures (don't laugh, it works:)
-Scheduling my workouts in my planner
-Eating well and sleeping 7 + hours a night

An awesome play list:

Madonna - My Baby's Got A Secret

Hate That I Love You - Rihanna ft. Ne-Yo

Focus - Nneka

TiK ToK - Keisha

China Girl - David Bowie

Workin' Man Blues (feat. Bionik) - Aceyalone

Zero - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Flaws - Caitlin Crosby

In a Big Country - Big Country

I Made It (Cash Money Heroes) - [feat. Birdman, Jay Sean & Lil Wayne]

Dog Days Are Over - Florence & The Machine

This Instant (Feat. Sophia Fresh) - T-Pain

Boyz - M.I.A.

Eyes without face - Billy Idol

Fluff - Nylon Pink

Imma Be - Black Eyed Peas

Single - New Kids On The Block Ft. Ne-Yo

Stupid Girls - Pink

Whatever You Like - T.I.

Top of the World - The Pussycat Dolls

Hung Up - Madonna

Sex Therapy Remix- Robin Thicke Ft Ludacris

Texting Flirtation - Colby O'donis

Perfect - Mason vs Princess Superstar

I'm Not Perfect - Christina Milian

I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred

Hot-N-Fun - N.E.R.D. Feat. Nelly Furtado

Your Love's A Drug - Leighton Meester

and now.... Month 2 Challenge : write everyday (and of course emails don't count:)

12to42 Project Update - Bodies, Rest and Motion

2010-08-22T04:10:00.000-07:00

How does that phrase go about making plans and having G-d laugh at you with that, put-you-in-your-place omnipotent yet loving (gotta have faith, right?) way? Well the past two weeks of my challenge have been like a comedy of "I plan and the Almighty one lets me get all cocky and over-confident and then puts that big cog in my wheel to slow me down to a good place of humility". From Day 11-19, I was going strong. I had figured out how and when to workout in our record high heat without feeling faint or like a wimp from taking it too easy. I worked out hard and on my light days I tried a few new tricks, like Tracy Anderson's new Perfect Design DVD and that Elle Yoga workout. I felt good - I was still able to take Tracy on (only screamed from massive pain twice) and while I thought some of her new moves were taken from the circus more than the dance studio, my tush and thighs were like that of a gazelle (not really but pretty damn tight and lean). I discovered that I have a severe love/hate and somewhat masochistic relationship with yoga - it bores me to death but the burn feels kinda good in a sick way. I also discovered that while my legs may be almost Barbie like long compared to my torso, this anomaly makes those transitional poses damn close to impossible and by no means Buddha graceful.

All this self marveling came to a kapow halt on Thursday, Day 19 - a.k.a. "my day of reckoning". That week I began orientation at work, breaking my glorious six week retreat away from a long commute and an 8-4 workday. The combination of returning to work, daily workouts, 100 degree heat and this little detox I thought I do just for kicks was brutal. At 8:45 pm Thursday night, after hours of lesson planning, studio cleaning, errand-running and weird detox food prep, I collapsed in the sofa for what I tried to bargain with my body to be a simple rest before getting up again to exercise. I got up hours later in pool of sweat. Oh the shame that followed me all the way into the bedroom as I fell onto the bed having not done my workout. AGGHHH, no!!! I was so ashamed I awoke at 2:30AM from a bad dream (guilt) and with Mr. PG away in Thailand, I did what came naturally and called my parents. Dream talk and analysis turned to tales of my dad's high school wrestling training regime and my apparent guilt. Why was I so bothered? It wasn't like I'd committed some awful sin, or even a mild sin for that matter. Life had interfered with my plan. And I would have to tell people - you out there via this blog. Agh the shame. But really who would care, aside from me? I mean I earned several snaps for working out 18 days straight. At least that's what my dad told me at 3:00am. That counts for something, right? Then it occurred to me in that quiet way that epiphanies are experienced - I had allowed my ego to get in the way. Not just in the not wanting to fail myself or my readers but in the sense that I thought I could control everything simply because I wanted to.

I suddenly felt a kindred spirit with Neo from the Matrix when he has to die a little before he understands that its bending with spoon, or flowing with the surrounding energies that gives him strength and possibly wisdom. (This is probably why I don't get along with yoga - I just want to bend the damn spoon and perform swirly back bends). On Friday, I walked home from downtown - a 30+ minute walk, and on Saturday I biked hard and long. Today, Day 22, I planned to ride in the late afternoon, after it cooled down and I did my busy project work in prep for the upcoming week. I continued to detox and sat at a cafe for a a few hours just chilling and had ever intention to workout strong as part of my daily deal, but as I made my way home, I felt not so much tired but disinterested in working out. All I really wanted to do was to write this post, have a good dinner, get ready for my week, watch Rear Window (for the 100th time I'm sure) and go to bed early. And so that's what I'm doing. Of course tomorrow I plan to work out in the morning and afternoon to somehow make up for my lame recently lame workouts, because while G-d may be amused by planners, I know s/he doesn't smile so kindly on slackers.