Enjoying the beauty of Costa Rica

Next thing you know…you aren’t having fun any more.

This is something that my wife and I combat against . One of our main goals (developed from our end of the year ‘get away’), is to make sure we are having fun day to day.

Here’s how:

• Keep trying new things:
  Tonight, I’m taking my wife to an indoor soccer game. Never been…don’t know what to expect…but we’ll have fun there.
• Keep doing things we love:
  In early February, we are getting together with friends to go to a German Restaurant. Although it’s about an hour from us, this German restaurant is fantastic. And…it reminds us of our good German friend Christoph (who we hosted as an exchange student for one year).
• Stay focused on God:
  For years, we’ve cultivated our individual relationships with God….and…our relationship as a couple with God. We started to study through the book of Acts together as a couple (and it generates great discussion ). We are also going through the devotional ‘Jesus Calling‘ as a couple this year. (by the way…that’s not an affiliate link)
• Keep things ‘fresh‘:
  Even the activities that we do regularly, I’m trying to ‘freshen up’ these things. For example – We travel quite a bit internationally to Eastern Europe (business, missions, etc). Though we love that part of the world, we are taking the initiative to explore ‘new and exciting’ parts of the world. One example is a trip to Costa Rica we took a few weeks ago. No particular reason there in particular….we just decided to explore a new place.

How about you? How do you make sure you are enjoying life day today…and keeping it exciting?

146 Pursuing Meaningful Life – Good Feeling: End of the Year Get Away

I’ve got a ‘Good Feeling’. (Love this song by Flo Rida)

I’ve got a good feeling because my wife and I are going on our annual end of the year getaway.

We use these times to rest, reflect, plan, and pray. It’s a time that helps to build depth and intimacy in our marriage. And…it helps us to end the year well and start the New Year with a good foundation.

What do you do to make plans for the coming year? What do you do to build intimacy with your spouse?

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Who will love her as she needs to be loved?

Light snow fell as I walked into McDonalds in this small town in Nebraska. I had just finished meeting with one of my favorite clients – we always meet at 6:00 a.m. at the same restaurant.

I had a gap in between meetings, so I headed to McDonald’s for coffee and a Wifi connection.

A young lady stood behind the counter. Trying to be friendly, I asked her what time she had to get up. We engaged in a bit of small talk, then I was about to place my order…when she decided to share more details of her life:

• It’s harder to get up in the mornings now that I’m pregnant. 
• My boyfriend that I got pregnant with just left me
• Do you know where I can get a lab? (a dog for companionship)

I see them every Sunday. They are in the church we go to now. They’ve been in churches that we’ve been to in the past.

Who is it?

It’s God’s people…the body of Christ.

What makes them unique? Well…lots of things actually.

We just became members of a cross-cultural congregation of Latinos and Caucasians in downtown Kansas City. Here’s a sample of the people there and their gifts:

Phyllis – She’s in her 80’s and still faithfully comes to church every Sunday and Bible classes every Tuesday. She’s been in the church more than 50 years and has seen it change tremendously…especially in the last 10. She loves and supports people well…regardless of their skin color, language, or place of birth.

Stella – About the most hyperactive Hispanic lady I’ve ever met She’s always fun, bubbly, encouraging, and has a smile on her face. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious.

Carmen – She translates everything from Spanish to English and vice versa. She’s very relational (appears to be friends with every single person in the church!). She’s constantly serving people with all her heart. Her love for God and people just ‘overflows’ from her.

Christian – He’s an energetic young boy who is always in a hurry…no matter where he is going and what he’s doing. His zeal for life is obvious for anyone who meets him. One of the last times I saw him he was riding his bicycle down the street and yelled out ‘I am the king of the world!!!’. His Dad said ‘He believes it too’.

How about you? What gifts and talents do you have? How are you using these to serve others in the Body of Christ?

Chances are…you are needed right where you are

It’s become a yearly ritual. It’s in a different place. The setting and context are different each year. But…we do it every year.

Our annual ‘end of the year get-a-way’ is what I call it.

Each year, we go some place to ‘unplug’ from everyday life. We rest. We reflect on the past. We dream about and plan some for the future. And…we seek God.

We’ve been to new places…we’ve been to old places. We’ve been to exotic and not so exotic places. This year it will be a warm, sunny place in another country (it’s a surprise for my wife, so I won’t tell you where ) But…each year we do it – we spend quality time together, seek God together, and it always pays dividends.

How does it pay dividends? I’m glad you asked

*In our marriage

*In our relationships with God

*In our relationships with people

*In our vocations

The quality time ‘away’ from everyday life always stimulates good discussions for Stephanie and me. Focused time together helps us to spend quality time with God and quality each other that really develops intimacy. I always enjoy our prayer and planning times. Stephanie really appreciates me taking the lead in planning these times away.

We reflect on relationships that have been mutually beneficial (for the others, for us). In recent years, we’ve decided to change some of where we spend our time in relationships. We invested in new friendships that have really blossomed. Some friendships have changed, and we’ve decided to spend less time on those. We’ve made some good, but hard decisions…and it’s paid off in developing more intimacy in what we now know are authentic relationships.

It’s always cool to talk about what’s going well…and what’s not going well in our vocations. In these times, we’ve made plans for overseas travel, investing in more education for ourselves, in changing jobs, in getting certifications to help us to go further in our jobs. Again…we see growth in this area of our lives, primarily because we make the time to talk about it.

What have you done lately to reflect on the past and plan for the future?

You don’t necessarily have to go to an exotic place. But…you do need to focus on it…or it won’t happen. Please share your stories and suggestions below.

145 Pursuing Meaningful Life – Serving Others…..Less Selfishly

God is awakening something in me. I can’t put my finger on it exactly.

I seem to be changing…changing to a less-selfish person.

No…I’m still selfish. But…it seems like God has been giving me a deeper desire to serve others in a way that I haven’t before.

What about you? How do you serve others?

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My wife and I were part of an organization we had enjoyed. But, we had some concerns about one of the future leaders of the group. When the president announced the potential for this man to be a leader, he also asked for feedback from people – both positive and negative.

We felt like this particular person was disengaged, very hard to get to know, functioned within a severe ‘click’, and was not supportive of others in the organization (especially ones that were not in his

L for leader??

click). He was funny…he was a great entertainer….but he was anything but a leader.

When we shared concerns (at the president’s request), you would have thought we shot at the guy. We did it tactfully. We did it in what i thought was a loving way. But…The president was so upset and defensive, that he he ‘came up swinging’. The concerns that we had were twisted back towards us….and we were blamed for all kinds of things. Little did we know, but the president had been harboring some bitterness towards me…and it came gushing out like a geyser.

It wasn’t a fun time, but we learned some important lessons:

*leaders are human. No matter how good they are, they will fail.

*When people ask for input, they don’t always mean it.

*Sharing truth (even in love) will be heavily resisted at times.

What about you? Have you ever shared concerns with someone and have it backfire? How did you work through it?

The Doctor was young, but energetic, friendly, funny, and encouraging. He’d explained the options…I’d chosen the one that involved ‘the big needle’ instead of the knife.

Were they really staring at my bare butt?

He explained all the risks, asked if he could pray for me (which I agreed to), and next thing you know he was gone. In 10 minutes…that’s when the big needle and I would meet.

I strip down, put on the worst pair of hospital shorts and gown that I’d ever seen.

Next thing I know, they have me in a room of 6 people. 5 women and 1 guy. I’m up on the table, and next thing I know my back and my butt are uncovered.

Truth is, I’m used to my wife seeing my butt…and my massage therapist. And that’s it.

Smart people laugh too

But, after a few seconds, I was listening to the spirited conversation going on between the doctors and the lady assistants. There was no talk about my butt. Heck, I don’t think anybody was looking at it except for the woman putting on the disinfectant. Everyone was too focused on discussing, debating, and arguing about burgers at Jack In the Box

Do you ever worry about what people might see in you? Or, do you get so focused on your own ‘butt’ (or something about yourself ) that you fail to see how you can enjoy the life around you?

We actually had some good fun and good discussion about burgers, butts, and God. But…it was only after I got over my own obsession with my own bare butt .

Through the years, that’s been a controversial subject.

Why are you competing? To build up or to put down others?

In my life, I feel that it’s been good and bad. Let me explain….

When I see competition between myself and another, I can quickly realize if this person is ‘for me’ or ‘against me’. If their focus is trying to out do everything I say and do, I don’t think they are for me. Honestly….I think this person is driven so much by fear and insecurity…that they are trying to convince themselves that they are ‘ok’ by putting others down.

In grad school, I had a officemate by the name of Steve. He was a grad student in the same department. We enjoyed doing a lot of the same activities together (connected to our studies or just goofing around together). Steve and I went bowling on Friday afternoons to ‘blow off steam’ for the week. Traditionally, when he or I bowled by ourselves…we bowled about a 160. But…when we bowled together, we often averaged 200-205.

Wild and Crazy Bowlers

Steve brought out the best in me. And I brought out the best in him. I loved competing with Steve…there were never condescending comments from either one of us. Just true friendship…and bringing out the best in each other.

How do you compete with others? What do you do or say to bring out the best in those that you compete with?

It’s been a few weeks since I returned from my international trip to the Republic of Georgia. There’s more stories that I’m putting together from the trip. I’ll ‘pepper’ these through the blog over the weeks ahead. Here’s the next installment…a continuation of my time with my new friend Georgio.

Standing on top of the mountain with the beauty of the city below us, Georgio points out several other places that would be good to visit.

At one of the highest points in Tbilisi, Georgia with my new friend Georgio

Gergio has transformed himself from full time taxi driver to full time tour guide…and is doing a good job. Along the trek up to the highest points in the city, he gave me all kinds of history of the country, the city, and I got to learn about his family.

We decide to go to a monastery. So…straight down the mountain we go. If it seemed steep going up, it seemed even steeper going down. And…the road was completely peppered with teenagers that didn’t seem to realize it’s not easy to brake coming down a steep mountain….and not run over them.

As we dodged teenagers, I saw her. It was who I call the ‘supermodel’ who works at the hotel I stayed at. Apparently, it was her day off and she was out on excursion with her friends. She was walking from the bottom of the mountain, so I knew she had a long way to go. Good luck walking straight up supermodel and friends…..

We zig-zagged through town in what seems like no particular traffic patterns for me. Cars cutting each other off…horns blaring….stoplights optional….it’s just the way traffic works here. Typical Kansas drivers would be killed here.

We got across town in one piece and stopped at a HUGE church with a monastery.

I knew I was pushing it…I had shorts on. Orthodox priests get a bit ‘touchy’ about showing legs in church (maybe afraid that God forgot what legs look like???), and sure enough….the priest said no.

A magnificent cathedral, built recently in the city center of Tbilisi

Georgia tried to get me in…..but I told him not to worry. Instead of going inside the church, we just walked around the grounds.

In 2003, the ‘Rose Revolution’ took place here in Georgia and roses are forever immortalized because of it. I was pleased to see thousands of rose bushes in the monastery….it gave it a real touch of natural beauty to go with all the authentic, gold domes.

We walked around. I took pictures. At several points, Georgio from Georgia made the cross sign on his chest. I can tell he’s a religious man….but I think that’s a good thing, His faith really did seem sincere.

I also learned more about Georgio. Though he’s just 43 (3 years older than me), he’s already got a 23 year old son and a 21 year old daughter. As he spoke of his family and their achievements, I could tell he was proud of them.

He’s also proud of his country. He turned out to be one of the best ‘spontaneous tour guides that I’l ever meet