Life, Liberty & Pursuit Of Your Boyfriend

DERBY WEEK!

Mel — Wed, 16 May 2012 19:05:45 +0000

This Saturday, it’s a Tri-State Face Off doubleheader: with Blitzburgh Bombers taking on MASS Attack and Steel Hurtin’ vs. Cleveland’s Burning River All-Stars. That’s right, CLEVELAND. OK, so I’m a little excited to see some of my former teammates in action.

BE THERE! Oh, and buy tickets online (or from me) — only $10 in advance!

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{the week} this is not a break…

Mel — Sat, 12 May 2012 15:53:39 +0000

…but it’s sad, nonetheless.

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Birthdays: can’t live without ‘em

Mel — Thu, 10 May 2012 13:39:41 +0000

Do y’all do a lot of reflection on your birthdays? I had to spend 30 minutes in an MRI machine; so while the rest of my day was chaotic, random and busy, I had that YOU-CAN’T-MOVE-AT-ALL kind of downtime to let “turning 35″ sink in.

The best part of waking up...

My thoughts… *sigh*

No, I didn’t wake up feeling any older. In fact, I hardly slept to wake up to anything (save for some seriously early risers: the birds, chirping away at 4am). Although I did lie for hours awake in bed muttering “I’m 35″ in different accents to see which one sounded the least harsh. NOTE: THERE ISN’T ONE.

And I took the day off all for myself.

I woke up to a birthday muffin... that may or may not have been bran. :-/

I had an extra Americano.

I purchased things like “age spot remover” BECAUSE YES, THAT IS A TOTAL THING THAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE THIS YEAR. And my goal is to get my skin in order, so I don’t suddenly wake up and look 55.

I took advantage of a free birthday brow wax, courtesy of benefit.

I had lunch by myself.

I ate a (grossly over-buttered and under-cooked) birthday cupcake.

I actually TRIED THINGS ON IN A DRESSING ROOM. Much, much different than online shopping… I still have a low tolerance for malls. But seemingly, on Wednesday afternoons you have the stores and sales staff all to yourself.

Um… I spent all of my money on some splurges. And I don’t even smell the faintest scent of retail regret. But maybe a little whiff of Flowerbomb by Viktor & Rolf.

I had dinner & wine & cheese & a lovely lemon pudding cake dessert with my life partner.

Server recommended: YUM!

Oh, and I had the aforementioned scary MRI. Which was probably more parts weird than it was scary… and I still don’t know why I would feel nauseous afterward (on my better judgment, which seems to rule the roost these days, I did NOT drink before the procedure). Maybe it was the rave-like pinging sound in the background.

There weren’t any hangovers or public displays of drunkenness (because, you know, THIRTY-FIVE). No crying fits or feeling sorry for myself. There were hundreds of “happy birthday” wishes and greetings through facebook messages and twitter mentions and texts — and with each one, I loved my birthday again a little more.

I’m nonplussed at the idea of approaching the “other side of 30.” I suppose I’m even a little apathetic. But I’m not mad…

Because now I have better eye brows.

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{conversations with the boyfriend} Relationship maintenance

Mel — Wed, 09 May 2012 02:46:06 +0000

Me (after dying my hair): Fixed it!
AB: Fixed what?
Me: my hair!
AB: what’d you do?
Me (now brunette): um… I was blonde when I went upstairs.
AB: …
AB: I’m never good at this.

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If you find yourself in Lancaster, PA tonight…

Mel — Sat, 05 May 2012 13:27:03 +0000

COME SEE ME SKATE! We’re playing the Dutchland Rollers in a double-header.

Deets:
Dutchland All-Stars vs. Steel City Derby Demons
&
Dutchland Blitz vs. Steel City B-Unit
{I’m, uh, rostered for both games, believe it or not}

Doors open at 5:30pm and the first bout will begin at 6(ish)pm.
Overlook Activities Center
301 Golf Drive; Lancaster, PA 17601

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{the week} runners, skaters and more road trips

Mel — Sat, 05 May 2012 01:25:46 +0000

Do you have favorite road trip foods? Mine have always been Nilla Wafers and 50/50. But since I’m becoming a LOT more ~~annoying~~ conscious about what I put into my body… well, frankly, both of those things SUCK. Also, why the hell can’t I find REAL ginger ale?! I did find some moderately healthy ginger cookies (which have an ingredient list that I can read and understand), but how do I replace my fizzy goodness? Meh.

I can't promise that I won't buy one of these if I see one.

the week:
I haven’t had cereal in over a week. Hold me.

weekend:
Good Luck to my friends who are running the Pittsburgh Marathon this weekend! How I would love to be on the sidelines cheering for you, but I’m off on another roller derby road trip to Lancaster. I’m SUPER excited about some highlights in the reviews for my hotel: all the crime scene, without all that pesky yellow tape and chalk tracings. o_O

If you stick around Pittsburgh this weekend, take advantage of Free Comic Book Day at your favorite local shop (ahem, New Dimension Comics), the Toonseum AND the Power game.

seven things, seven days:
1. {perky} My friend B from Florida home-roasted me some coffee beans and shipped them to me this week. Can’t WAIT to brew the awesomeness.
2. {therapy} OK, shopping therapy. I was initially looking for a pair of hot pink skinny jeans, but then I saw a pair of bright teal ones. MINE!
3. {obsession} Currently coveting SO MANY THINGS on NastyGal. Remembering that I’d like a new bathroom some time this year…
4. {bonding} Was fun to host some of my skating friends this week for an after-practice strategy session.
5. {melting} I hate the humidity. I try my best to adjust and be happy, but my hormones just won’t allow it.
6. {wrong way} One day I will learn how to navigate the east end of this city and remember its pervasive “no left turns” signs. One day.
7. {countdown} Officially counting down the days ON ONE HAND until my birthday. Excuse me while I do some impulsive online shopping to numb the pain.

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Tell me where it hurts…

Mel — Thu, 03 May 2012 18:02:23 +0000

Last month, I mentioned that I had x-rays for my wrist. The determination was that there were no visible fractures. Well, I was back in the doctor’s office yesterday — this time an orthopedist — because I’m still having some pain/discomfort and mobility/functionality issues (btw, “functionalibility” is not a word!). The doc (who was AWESOME, and if you ever need a sports medicine ortho, contact me & I’ll pass along his info!) also confirmed there were no fractures… but I have had some bone movement since my last x-ray. Which likely means some ligament damage.

Which means that I’ll be having my first MRI next week. ON MY BIRTHDAY. I can’t think of a better way to ring in 35; can you? The good news though is that I CAN STILL PLAY ROLLER DERBY. I approve this message.

Oh, I also have to wear this until next week:

I feel like an old lady with a bowling injury.

Meanwhile, I’ve compiled this list of “things I cannot do with my right hand, or cannot do without some level of pain”:
Open a can of cat food
Open a can of beer
Open my car door
Twist open a jar of pickles
Cut the cheese
Wash dishes (seriously, boyfriend, I just can’t!)
Twist open the lid of my gas tank
Hold the gas pump
Turn a key in the front door
Open the front door
Type (it’s much easier without the brace, of course)
Hook my own bra

UPDATE: Turns out that I am an awkward left-handed butt wiper. The more you know.

How’s your week?

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{penis tuesday} SOMEBODY STOLE YOUR PENIS!

Mel — Tue, 01 May 2012 19:55:23 +0000

Eye of newt, and toe of frog… And go ahead and give me a few of those West African dongs.

This story has everything: witchcraft, magic (do those two regularly go together?), cash extorsion, angry mobs, and penis-snatching. And I suppose some very, very scared stiff men (heh).

“I’m tempted to say it’s one huge joke,” [Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne] Oleko said.

“But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it’,” he said.

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April FOODZIE: The Earth Day Box

Mel — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:03:20 +0000

So, this month’s foodzie tasting box was delivered unusually late (WTH, FedEx?). It’s not my favorite, but there are a couple items that I really enjoyed. And most importantly, there are things to share.

In the box:
Parmesan & Rosemary Microwave Popcorn (!!!) from Quinn Popcorn – remember that time when I didn’t have a microwave? Or that I didn’t like popcorn? And that I hated rosemary? Yeahhhh. (note: there are stovetop directions available online, and this snack better suits the boyfriend’s snacking habits)
Gluten-free Sesame Seed Bars from Bumble Bar – I received one each of chocolate crisp and original peanut. I like these. A lot.
Dried Plums from Blossom Bluff Orchards – I’m definitely on a dried fruit kick, particularly for pre-practices and these are, obviously, better than packaged jelly fruit snacks. I’m slowly getting used to the taste of plums.
Classing Gold Sparkling Yerba Mate from Guayaki – This drink is delicious AND refreshing — and a much better-for-you cola replacement. PS: it’s pronounced “yer-bah mah-tay” (NOT yer-bah MATE, rhymes with “date”). Oops.
Styrian Pumpkin Seeds by CB’s Nuts – Cool concept of small-batch, micro-roasted nuts and seeds. But I also do not like pumpkin seeds. Meh. The boyfriend will eat them, however.

We’ve been looking to purchase reusable produce bags (for the few items that we DO have to bag individually at the grocery store), and one from Flip & Tumble was included as a bonus item. Score!

Sign up for Foodzie! Disclaimer: I am not compensated or sponsored in any way for this post or my subscription; I just like to share the independent foodmakers included in each tasting box.

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{the week} I see your true colors shining through… but that’s why I love you.

Mel — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 15:30:39 +0000

Mistakes: we all make them. But being called out on them really puts my panties in a bunch (as well as a high-set of eyeball rollbacks and a distinguishing grimace on my face). I attempt to be diplomatic in my responses to this type of situation, but is it ultimately just my uncanny ability to NEVER BE WRONG that makes making mistakes so… personally wrenching? Gah. I FUCK UP TOO, PEOPLE. I’M LEARNING! BE NICER!

Moving on…

the week:
Have you ever done True Colors training at your job? It’s similar to Myers-Briggs, but simpler. I’m an orange, which feels all sort of… wrong, especially given it’s a workplace team-building exercise, and the “dislikes” section of my color tells of such wonderful traits as “hates authority and rules.” But in talking about reframing, I learned that I’m actually an AWESOME employee because I’m not afraid to take risks — I naturally promote motivation, excitement and action. So, thankfully, there’s that (and soe other oranges within the organization).

But the lesson ultimately teaches you how to work with the different color personalities (and I happened to learn a lot about what makes me tick… which was as refreshing as it was confirming), and how some of us can change colors depending on the situation. Green is my secondary color, but it’s a distant second. I’m exceptionally orange. I should go spray-tanning.

Don't put me in a box!

weekend:
What a weekend to be traveling — there’s so much to do in Pittsburgh (Keg Ride, Art All Night, Gallery Crawl, Pittsburgh Craft Beer Week, Dr. Sketchy pajama party at the ToonSeum, Pyrotopia, Dutchman at Bricolage). Like, the WORST weekend to be NOT in Pittsburgh. Alas, we’ll be traveling back “home” to Cleveland for a wedding and some necessary catching up with a few friends and new restaurants… and the best cupcakes ever.

Sidenote: in going to new social situations — in this case a wedding, where I only know the groom — it’s especially “interesting” being a derby skater. Thankfully, with the unseasonably cold temperatures (or, just Cleveland), I’ll have most of my bruises covered up to hopefully avoid the quizzical looks and questions about my banged-up arms and shins.

seven things, seven days:
1. {breathe} What a hectic week! I’m so grateful that I have an outlet for my frustrations.
2. {nostalgia} Practicing with some of my old teammates this weekend!
3. {ouch} Yep, still having some wrist pain. Ortho visit scheduled for next week.
4. {sticky situations} Also still allergic to adhesive. Why do I always forget until the tape is already on me?!
5. {publish} The Sewickley Patch reprinted one of my Craft Pittsburgh: Unfiltered columns for Pittsburgh Craft Beer Week.
6. {home improvement #1} Small kitchen remodel has begun: the doors are all off the top cabinets (exposing such a mess), and the frames have their first coat of white. Hopefully the boyfriend finishes this project next week when I’m OUT OF TOWN AGAIN.
7. {home improvement #2} The original color I picked for the kitchen walls reminds me of painter’s tape once it was sampled (and definitely not the sky and seas of the Mediterranean). So, we’re back to square one with finding a wall paint that works in our overtly-brown cooking area. *puke*

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{bucket list} making up life lists as you live it & my obsession with Spiderman is complete

Mel — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 16:01:41 +0000

You know those “things to do” on a Life or Bucket List that you never really thought of until AFTER the event or moment happened?

Yeah, that’s my “Getting an item autographed by Stan Lee in person”… and that happened this past Sunday. I’m not sure how I could have missed adding this life event to my list, but it was there, I assure you.

This guy (pictured above), I received at one of my first Christmases (I was either one or two; I’m much too old to remember). The stuffed figure has seen better days, of course, given it’s nearly 35 YEARS OLD… and, well, it was a toy when I was a kid. I even lost it at one point in my life, rediscovering it at my grandmother’s house in a box of crap almost two decades later. I also purchased an exact replica (in a bit better condition) off eBay in my early 20s when I thought I had lost it for good.

Spidey has been sitting in a box in storage for a few years because I haven’t had the room or space to display all my Spiderman memorabilia and collectables. Stan Lee was scheduled to appear at Pittsburgh’s ComiCon — and I realized this might be the only chance left in my lifetime (because, thinking realistically and morbidly, Lee is 90 years old).

While I missed the photographic moment of him looking up at me while he signed Spidey (seriously, I was freaking shaky from excitement), he gave me a big smile almost in approval that what I brought him was unique.

A piece of my personal history, forever honored and changed — touched and signed by Stan Lee:

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{penis tuesday} penis dumplings in the news.

Mel — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 14:47:28 +0000

And “allegedly” served at Chin Chin Chinese Restaurant. {Huffington Post}

Oh… well, carry on.

Seriously, this news article is so stupid that the editor actually left IN a question mark after a direct quote from the victim. A nonsensical quote, sure; but the decision to use it, and then question it, is just… boner-ific.

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Ingredients: This is probably all junk. And full of CRAP.

Mel — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 10:54:22 +0000

I sincerely believe the cleaner your diet, the better you feel. I’m already an avid label reader because of food allergies (thanks a lot, Trader Joes), but I feel like I already have a leg-up on healthy eating, considering I don’t eat frozen foods and rarely have fast food. Even more recently, the boyfriend and I decided to keep as close to natural as possible. We cook most of our meals from scratch; we’re now also growing our own herbs and vegetables (and some fruit); we make most of our own sauces and dressings; and he’s keeping me out of those tempting “middle aisles” at the grocery store (and that one awesome end aisle just past the frozen that holds a box of all the world’s awesome: BUTTERSCOTCH KRIMPETS).

This has spurred an almost-obsession with label reading of any packaged foods. Because as we’ve learned, I’m not the World’s Best Chef, and sometimes, I have to curb my voracious appetite IMMEDIATELY.

That’s called HANGRY, by the way.

Sadly, some of the foods that I crave or buy impulsively are terrible. Have you ever turned around a bottle of salad dressing and read the label?! Also: I’ll go out on a limb and guess that you’re probably eating one of those pie-flavored, fat free yogurts… IT’S CRAP! But that’s not the worst of what’s out there. Or sadly, what I enjoy. I have an extra tooth (seriously, true story) that craves cereal-and-only-cereal. I thought I was doing OK with honey nut Cheerios, but it is FACT that it’s one of the worst — or shall I say most misleading — cereals on the shelves. Here, I thought I was doing well giving up the multiple food dyes included in every bowl of Fruity Pebbles. Nope: CRAP.

I switched to a “healthy” brand (read: Kashi), but I can seriously polish off one of those small boxes in one sitting. Delicious? Yes. Good for my cereal budget? No. Eating disorder? Possibly.

CRAP? A resounding YES! I told you: essentially, EVERYTHING IN A BOX IS CRAP. Yes, even your Kashi. I’m actually pretty pissed that they duped me too.

So, I have some work to do on curbing my snacking addiction (yes, cereal eating is just snacking. I’ll have two bowls of cereal after having a full dinner… just because). But there were other predators in my pantry: peanut butter, jelly beans (OK, not a regular indulgence, but Easter just recently passed. also, a temporary stand-in for other sugary CRAP), frosting… a box of baking mix for carrot cake Whoopie pies (sounds delicious, right? IT’S NOT!).

Why so evil? CHEMICAL ADDITIVES. ARTIFICIAL INGREDIENTS… it’s all JUNK.

Here’s the Scary Seven, according to Naturally Savvy:

HFCS: High-Fructose Corn Syrup (AKA glucose-fructose in Canada)
TRANS-FATS: Anything listed as ‘partially hydrogenated’ or ‘hydrogenated’ (includes vegetable shortening)
MSG: Monosodium glutamate
ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS: Any artificial flavoring
ARTIFICIAL COLORS: Any type of artificial dyes
ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS: Chemical sweeteners including Aspartame, Splenda (sucralose), Ace-K (Acesulfame Potassium), Saccharine, etc.
PRESERVATIVES: Polysorbate 60, 65 & 80, TBHQ, Sodium Benzoate, BHA, BHT, Sulfur Dioxide (sulfites)

And this is where Andrea Donsky and Randy Boyer (and their love of junk food) come in. In writing “Unjunk Your Junk Food” they taste-tested a variety of salty-or-sweet snacky goodness — and were upfront and honest about the poor eating habits to which most of us can admit. Because WE ALL SNACK. We ALL have cravings. So, they’re not taking away your candy or potato chips or *gasp* ice cream — they’re helping you make better decisions in regards to your health.

The book is loaded with information, and if you have ADD like me, you’ll probably have a brain spasm over how much good and helpful info is included (a lot of fun history and company tidbits too).

Biggest take-away: there are no shortcuts to healthy eating. Yeah, that peanut butter discovery still shocks me a little bit. Thanks, JIF, but you can keep your corn syrup and strange protein “solids.” And no, natural peanut butter does NOT taste the same, but I know that it’s JUST PEANUTS. And I found how delicious it can be with a little dash of cinnamon. I dare you to go through your cupboard, freezer or pantry and read the labels of your favorite snacks (there’s an awesome tear-out checklist in the book on page 25 that identifies the “worst ingredients.” Pick up a copy at Barnes & Nobles or online at Amazon {Naturally Savvy’s affiliate link}.

Tell me in the comments the worst food products you have in your house (or crave, and purposely do NOT keep in the house).

Join the edible Revolution. Read Naturally Savvy’s four-step manifesto for alternative, healthy snacking options. Also, ‘Like’ Naturally Savvy on Facebook and ‘fan’ them on Twitter for your chance to win great prizes.

Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from Naturally Savvy for review.

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{the week} Ain’t no mountain high enough… wait, is that a 4-20 reference?

Mel — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 14:01:52 +0000

the week:
This week has been filled with highs… and unfortunately, some lows. But through the smiles and tears (and uncomfortable talks), I discover my strengths and faults. With that realization, I need to make some changes in various parts of my life to achieve my goals. And I know this paragraph is worse than your old college friend VagueBooking, but there are some things that I’m just not ready to talk about. You can read that all over my eyes that are swollen with tears of disappointment, awareness and heart.

But it was all worth it to hear from the boyfriend: to me, you have no faults.
I know, he’s a total bullshitter! And in the same breath, he pointed out actual faults (because I wanted to hear them). But it’s all constructive because some days he seems to know me better than I know myself.

weekend:
So, this weekend, I’m going to rock the shit out of it.
Tonight, a Pirates game.
Tomorrow, roller derby.
Sunday, Pittsburgh ComiCon. And yes, I’ll be there in costume.

And I hear there’s some kinda of hockey game or something…

seven things, seven days:
1. {work} I interviewed and was offered a position at a local non-profit this week. Part-time (which still allows me to freelance)… but full-time excited over here.
2. {nom} More enchiladas at Las Velas, please. Tonight before the game? Boyfriend, you’re the bestest.
3. {cheers} Pittsburgh Craft Beer Week starts today! Actually, at 7 this morning. WHERE WERE YOU?!
4. {do good} A few days ago, I met Randy of Randyland local fame (pictures above). What an amazing human being. I could listen to him talk about his passions and his art for hours.
5. {energy} Barre — a real food bar — is developed by two local dancers and made in Pittsburgh!
6. {dance} Coppelia at the Pittsburgh Ballet was every bit as memorable as the performances that I held dear from childhood.
7. {wishes} And yes, I want to be a ballerina again. I can pretend with adult beginner classes. You bet that I’m seriously considering it!

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My life: the last 10 years, by way of home address

Mel — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 19:46:37 +0000

I had the recent (super fun and mind-bending) task of attempting to remember Every Single Address that I’ve lived at for the last 10 years, along with the people who resided WITH me in those locations, for a background check (yes, I’m getting the checks on my background for a new job opp). It was your enviable trip down Memory Lane or some such… otherwise known as: an embarrassing display of admitting (in writing) how many men I’ve lived with.

Three, for what it’s worth. I don’t know, is that embarrassing? I flinched every time I hate to write in “M” for male. And it actually took me longer than necessary to remember: a) if I ever lived with my high school sweetheart (after graduation, of course); and, upon remembering the answer was “no”, wondering: b) why?; and c) has it been over 10 years since we stopped dating? Short answer: yes.

HSS did eventually propose the idea of new living arrangements (with several dozen flowers outside my wonderful rented townhouse-like apartment in… PARMA, of all forsaken Cleveland suburbs) at a time when he seemingly got his shit together about relationships (or at least, one with me), only for me to be one foot on a plane, ready to relocate to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina (which never happened because of meeting The First Guy I Would Eventually Live With, aka: The Fiance). Or, as some would tell it: HSS went away to Virginia Beach on an All-Guys vacation, and I didn’t hear from him for an entire week, so I changed my phone number, so he would never attempt contacting me again. The end of an almost-six-year, turbulent relationship. How you like that airplane metaphor, ya jerk?

Back to the numbers: I lived with three men in my life, with whom I was romantically involved (the other male roommates do not count, and for purposes of this writing exercise were beyond the 10-year benchmark. Also, HOW THE FUCK did a decade pass by that fast?):
The Fiance
10SB
and my current, AB.

The address count was 12, I think. Is that a lot of moving? Thank you, Gypsy 20s: it was.

Sidenote: I had to Google myself on one of those people search types of websites because I couldn’t remember addresses from before my condo, circa 5-6 years ago. I probably should have made a copy of those addresses, incase this comes up again…

Me, googling.

And if I forgot an address — or worse, someone — then WOO BOY, we might have to start talking about implementing some brain functioning exercises.

How many addresses or significant-others-you-lived-with have YOU had over the last 10 years?

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An impromptu date night with Bill Maher

Mel — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 19:04:47 +0000

I tried to get tickets to Bill Maher for the boyfriend for our anniversary, but I was seemingly the LAST LIBERAL IN PITTSBURGH to hear about him coming to town. It was sold out.

Then, at happy hour dinner on Friday (at Las Velas, naturally), we were trying to figure out our plan of action for the evening. I saw a tweet about the Power game, but couldn’t remember why it wasn’t on my calendar (you know I don’t miss that shit, unless it’s for derby)… oh, because “Bill Maher” was in its place. I pouted, then turned toward a friend sitting beside me at the bar (who also happens to “know some people”) and asked about the possibility of any tickets being available last minute. She made some calls, and at that very minute, two were released for sale. Naturally, we snagged them.

Yeah, he was hilarious. Totally worth it.

Bonus: the Byham sells sippie cups (mine has wine) to take into the theater, which makes the evening even more hilarious.

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Sorry, wrong number.

Mel — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:49:22 +0000

I’ve been receiving calls and voicemails from an unknown Cleveland number since well before Thanksgiving. I’ve had my number for as long as I’ve had a cell phone (minus the first 2-3 years of AirTouch Cellular — WOW, I AM OLD). Regardless, for over 10 years, nothing has changed if you need to get in touch with me (much to the dismay of some family members who say they no longer have my number, which they think somehow changed without their notice upon my relo to Pittsburgh).

But I digress…

This woman has been dialing up “Mark” for months on end. And I kept forgetting to save the number in my phone, so that the “next time” she called I would answer and tell her she has been misdialing for some time. I attempted a text message, but soon learned by a robotic response that she was dialing from a landline. Her messages were often in the middle of the night, often dialed repeatedly, and, especially the one on Christmas, often incoherent (read: drunk). I should mention, that in her rambling, I initially thought she was calling for “Mom” (and sympathetically considered the heartbreak in those drunken messages to reaching, what seemed to be, a detached parent). But recently I decoded “Mark” in her not-drunk voice and decided to record a greeting with my name, so as to hopefully dissuade her from calling back.

Then, last night — at almost midnight — she left a message FOR ME, calling me by name… telling me to “have Mark call her.”

WTF.

She then called back five minutes later. To which, I answered the phone in my sleepy state and bitterly told her that she had the wrong number. She was near-hostile at my telling her that I’ve had the phone number for years (when she asked if I recently got this number) and that “there is no Mark” (when she asked if I knew this imaginary phone person). And she blathered on about… something — I imagine she must have been drunk again — and I hung up on her.

I swear, I will cut a bitch if she calls back.

But this situation leads me to some additional thoughts: has this person, Mark, ever returned the favor of a phone call? She’s been calling for months trying to reach this person — has she EVER communicated to this person during that time? Did Mark give her the incorrect number — either on accident or purposely? WHO IS MARK TO THIS WOMAN: a distanced brother of family member or an ex? One night stand? I mean, if it’s that last option, at what point would you stop calling someone? NEVER?

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{skate (b)log} sMEL U in action…

Mel — Sat, 14 Apr 2012 14:45:40 +0000

…err, in the penalty box.

Regardless, love this shot.

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{the week} A Cadbury Creme Egg & Jelly Belly Hangover

Mel — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:41:10 +0000

A pretty day in Indianapolis

And now, for a few weeks break on the American Road Trip…

the week:
I made a goal for 2012 to invest more in my business, with Task #1 to have a new site designed to better show off my copywriting portfolio. I definitely needed a recharge this year (and, frankly, to start taking it a little more seriously), now that I (think I) know what I’m doing. I’m finally down to business (heh), seeing first drafts of my new header this week from my designer. Task #2 and #3, by the way, is to find a career coach/mentor and get myself to a conference, respectively. I’m looking for suggestions and referrals on both.

Then by some strange twist of career fate, I was contacted by a recruiter this week — oh, the ghost of my career past continues its attempts to lure me back into real estate. And next Tuesday, I have an interview for something completely different — part-time, albeit full of awesomeness. The dynamic of my work history and career goals is certainly interesting. I have a fabulous collection of nametags. I think I blogged about this before…

One of the many beer souvenirs brought home with us from Indy.

weekend:
So. Many. Weeds. So, I’ll be catching up on some garden work. And let’s hope that the freeze warnings have passed for good. But I think I’m going to refinish my vanity desk or paint something too — perhaps the cabinetry in the guest bath — hopefully in preparation of us FINALLY finding a bathroom contractor in our budget.

I’ll also be hanging some new curtains. LIFE OF A PARTY ROCKSTAR OVER HERE!

Ok, Ok, so I’m a little sidelined for the aforementioned ambitious activities by this damn lingering wrist injury. Good thing I drink with my left…

Tonight is the new members social at Soho for Pittsburgh Young Professionals. If you’re a PYP member (or want to join), come say hi at happy hour — I promise to talk your ear off about my community involvement committee.

If you’re into the whole superstitious numerology thing, Dormont’s Hollywood Theater is showing Friday the 13th tonight.

Sunday, I go to the ballet and its closing party. Coppelia has been my favorite story since I was a kid in pointe shoes. But also, this is my first experience with the Pittsburgh Ballet performances. I was lax this year in jumping in on a season ticket package, but I’m definitely purchasing one for next.

seven things, seven days
1. {winning} I won $4 on an Easter basket scratch-off. I SUNK YOUR BATTLESHIP! But yeah… it’s for the Ohio Lottery. And yesterday I realized that I can’t cash it HERE.
2. {animal planet} A neighbor of ours has bee hives in her backyard (I know *shudder*), and I recently learned that she names the Queens after all the women in our neighborhood. So, a Queen Bee named Melinda, named after me, rules a hive on my street. How cool is that?
3. {urban awesome} Said neighbor also has chickens in her backyard. Have I mentioned how awesome our neighborhood is?!
4. {beauty} Birchobox delivery week: the thrill of this monthly subscription is gone.
5. {sports} FUCK YEAH, HOCKEY!
6. {cheese} You know what’s better than chocolate in your Easter basket? HOT PEPPER CHEESE FROM AMISH COUNTRY.
7. {save the date} If you’re in NYC or can make it there April 28, check out this B3 Blogging Workshop presented by Single Edition and Lord & Taylor (wish I could be there!).

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I think we need a bigger coffee pot.

Mel — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 18:41:05 +0000

Are you a coffee drinker? Can you date a non-coffee drinker?

This important issue is oftentimes a non-negotiable in relationships — a divisive and significant offense to us, the coffee-drinking souls of the dating world… and the purpose behind the fourth chapter of my never-to-be-finished book: “Never Trust a Guy Who Doesn’t Drink Coffee.” AB & I were on opposite sides of the caffeinated spectrum. But he, non-coffee drinker, purchased a pot for his apartment when we started dating and having sleepovers. That was the only way it would work.

Alas, THE BOYFRIEND IS DRINKING COFFEE!

Evidence: a CAPPUCCINO!

He seriously went from “I like drinking a few Dr Peppers a month” to “I NEED COFFEE EVERY DAY TO FUNCTION!” in a matter of weeks. With only a touch of cream-and-sugar, that risk taker! I imagine he now “gets” my nonfunctioning personality tendencies in the mornings. Obviously, I can finally trust him, now that he’s shunned his non-caffeinated days.

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