Life, Liberty & Pursuit Of Your Boyfriend

PT: Of ancient artifacts

Mel — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 21:15:57 +0000

Excavations can be fun! Err… don’t Google that anywhere near the words “sex,” “penis,” or “flashlight.” Trust me. Em & Lo gave me this historical...

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Best email while on vacation!

Mel — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:26:53 +0000

This time next Sunday, many of you will be official members of the Burning River Roller Girls!! For seriously, I am SO excited and SO ready. Nearly six months of training in wRECk and SOZA Fitness...

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And don’t let the door hit you.

Mel — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 13:10:08 +0000

As some of you have realized over the last couple days, AB & I are moving. Moving away from the annoyances of Cadillac Ranch on college ID night. Moving away from the distraction of the...

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PT: Animals love oral too

Mel — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 14:25:14 +0000

Scientists discover that bats have oral sex. While that headline in itself should be intriguing, the fact that bats have oral sex DURING PENETRATION just blew my fucking mind. Must. Continue. Yoga....

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PT: Missing

Mel — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 22:19:58 +0000

No, not me, silly hard-ons, King Tut. As in, King Tut’s penis. It is missing. Have you seen it? I mean, I don’t know about you, but that’s the first thing I want to do when an old...

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But you should see how I order a pizza!

Mel — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 17:17:07 +0000

I take the prize in many areas for Best Girlfriend Ever and would probably even be a good choice for a housewife, if that was truly my calling — you know, save for my arachnophobia and the...

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PT: Holidays and Hot Dogs

Mel — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 13:01:39 +0000

All the thanks to today’s Penis Tuesday goes to my mother. Yes, my mother. Many cheers to the woman who made this perverted mind all possible — and prompted by a Facebook comment,...

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I am not ignorant.

Mel — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 23:27:21 +0000

I think I’ve surprised myself as to how long I could stay mad today. And the surliness is beginning to strain the muscles in my forehead. So, I think I’m done now. You know, for sake of...

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Shopping for things I don’t need. Like, compliments.

Mel — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 01:16:46 +0000

I keep my relationship fresh by consistently updating my underwear drawer. Because of what derby and daily workouts has done to my body, once the boyfriend has returned from his weekly travels, it...

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BC Footwear: Bad Comfort. Big Crap. Bitchy Columnist.

Mel — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 19:59:27 +0000

Welcome the recent addition to my Shoes Shit List: Absolutely adorbs, right? I thought so too upon their April purchase in Chicago. I used to wear BC Footwear over a decade ago when I worked for...

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