Putative Thoughts

Nanotale #Thankful

2016-04-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

Your arms held me when I was at my weakest,
Your eyes called me beautiful when I was ugliest,
Your heart loved me at my worst.

Oh! Love! I could never be more #Thankful.

Nanotale #DeadSpirit

2016-04-24T17:20:00.000-07:00

He sliced every piece of her heart with his harsh words.

His ego was reborn. Her spirit was dead.

Nanotale #Real

2016-04-23T16:32:00.000-07:00

"You are dumb, stupid and a psycho", he told her, spewing venom with his words.

Over time, he realized she was the only REAL person he knew.

Nanotale #Misjudged

2016-04-23T03:18:00.000-07:00

"Don't follow me. Don't stalk me. I HATE it. STOP IT NOW", he told her curtly.

Little did he know, she was only watching her prayers of his safety and wellbeing come true.

#Misjudged, yet again.

Nanotale #Time

2016-04-22T20:02:00.000-07:00

Time passed them by;

He realized her importance.

She his irrelevance.

Nanotale #StayHungryStayFoolish

2016-04-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

She fed him her soul.

He starved her with inconsistency.

She stayed hungry, stayed foolish.

To feed or not to feed - Raising picky eaters.

2016-04-21T10:41:00.000-07:00

There is no one safe guarded secret to feeding a healthy child. For most of us, as mothers, it expresses trouble. Trouble eating, trouble with feeding, and trouble with cooking. Getting kids to eat is anything but enjoyable. As mothers we set such high expectations for feeding our children what is "good" for them. What I realized over time is that the secret to feeding kids is to love food, and sharing that love with them. To teach them the framework of knowledge, habit, attitude, and necessity - all the perspectives that go into eating and enjoying what you eat.

As a mother, the predominant attitude about eating is "Don't". "Don't eat too many chocolates. Don't eat too much junk. Don't eat too much fat". So much of time is spent is thinking about avoiding than eating! A friend told me once, "Getting good nutrition is not about taking fun out of eating". I quite agree. In today's world, we manipulate food only for the sole purpose of feeding our children. We supply them with so much "healthy", and end up raising kids that have shorter lists of foods they enjoy, and eat precisely what suits them.

Truth be told, we all eat what we like. Same is true for children. More often than not, kids loose food acceptance skills when they get more interference than support. We need to instill in them the desire to consistently eat a variety of foods than just foods that are branded "healthy".In my opinion, we should allow kids to choose from what they'd like to eat rather than pushing it down their throat, even if it is just one food choice they make from what is served on the table.

You give them the liberty to choose if they'd like to eat or not, and as much as they want.(Maybe reward them if they eat without a fuss, later!)Also, the biggest backbone of eating competence lies in being structured. Sit-down meals than eating on the go is one of them. Or absent-mindedly snack or nibble on foods when hunger drives you to it. Or eating at irregular intervals. Kids need to be taught the essential framework in eating well - to eat at regular and predictable mealtimes, and to take the time to tune in and enjoy the food they eat.

Bribing isn't the best practice when it comes to mealtimes with kids, either. Bribing or forcing them to wipe off their plate or making them eat certain foods will only ignite a more power struggle over food. They may also pair mealtimes with anger and frustration and become less sensitive to their hunger cues. Also, no begging or cajoling. It is healthy food, good for the, and tastes equally well. Period. If they curious, explain why the food is healthy and making conscious, good eating choices is important for their growth and overall development. If they put up a fight, stay calm. Don't push them, but firmly let them know that it's okay for them to not eat, but the food they are served is all they will get(for that time), and that you will dish out their favorite meal for next time.

You are the best role model for your child Parenting experts say that kids pick up behavioral patterns of what they observe than what they are told. If they see you consistently choosing healthy ingredients over their counterparts, they are more likely to start choosing it,too. The trick of the trade is to make eating and trying new foods a game than a punishment. The victory isn't in inducing a tearful child to finish or eat what they don't like, but raising self-aware kids who choose healthy food and even healthier habits by their own free will.

Honestly, there are no goods or bads, no rights or wrongs - only baby steps of what works for you and your child. Steps that make feeding them one of the most rewarding attempts we undertake. If you are going to take all the trouble of keeping up with the daily routine of cooking meals, it might as well be enriching and rewarding. (The juice has to positively be worth the squeeze!)

Nanotale #HimHer

2016-04-20T19:36:00.000-07:00

Temporary feelings for him

Permanent scars for her.

Nanotale #Howloveshouldbe.

2016-04-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

"Hello", she said answering the phone

"Hello"

"Hello"

"Hello"

"Say something. I'm listening", said the voice in her head.

Voice quiet. Recognition instant.

#Thatshowloveshouldbe

Nanotale #Destiny

2016-04-18T20:22:00.000-07:00

The intense relief she felt when she moved into the arms he opened.

#Destiny played a role in bringing them together.

Nanotale #Humans

2016-04-17T11:08:00.000-07:00

He walked away leaving her hurt and heartbroken.

Looking past the hurt of his betrayal, she tried to understand him than hurting him back.

She created love, he abandoned it.

#Humans, I tell you!

Nanotale #MindfulConversations.

2016-04-13T19:52:00.000-07:00

...And through the silence they now share, she had the best conversations with him, in her mind.

Nanotale #IncompleteLifetime

2016-04-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

1999:
Suppression of emotions. He lost her.

2016:
Confusion of emotions. He lost her, again.

Nothing changed. Each time an incomplete lifetime.

Nanotale #Messages

2016-04-10T22:36:00.000-07:00

Too often, he underestimated the power of the words in her messages.

Alas, the words from his verbal conversations with others could never be re-read.

Nanotale #Friendship

2016-04-09T09:28:00.000-07:00

It all starts with being friends.

It all ends the same way.

Nanotale #Lonelyheart

2016-04-08T17:14:00.000-07:00

A sociable mind entered a bar

"One pint, please"

A lonely heart exited.

Friends like these keep the doctor away (Almost!)

2016-04-05T23:12:00.000-07:00

"Did you know that people who don't have atleast one best friend are likely to die an early death?", said the friend.

"Really", I ask.

"Yes, sacchi. It's science". But don't you worry. You have already upped your chances of living a healthy, long and a happy life.

"How?", I asked.

"You have me", replies the friend.

I couldn't disagree. You are the friend I bonded almost immediately because of the identical sense of humor we share. How we just see through each other's weirdness, without an unspoken connection, continues to baffle people around us. You are the friend who pushes my limits and pulls me to step outside my comfort zone. Your quest for knowledge and curiosity stir-fry's my brain, but is thrilling at the same time. Surrounding myself around you has been instrumental in my desire and appetite for life.

You are the person I turn to when I'm on the verge of a full-on meltdown. You've heard my every word, offered almost no sane solution or advice ever (doled out more wisdom when not required), but just talking to you makes me feel instantly lighter. Your mere presence calms me down when I'm having a panic attack or freaking out on something. You've been my absolute be(a)st(ie); someone I can never grow apart from. Each time we are together, we've yielded some extreme nostalgia from the past and always seem to have the bestest time.

Your presence has always helped me cover ground; although we are different individuals with different mindsets, with opposite interests (except a handful), but just having you in my life roots me to something at the fundamental core within myself. You are my homecoming (I'd feel lost without you as an anchor), and just seeing you or talking to you has always been comforting. You are someone I can let my guards down, and annoy you to the breaking point, and still nothing changes between us.

Although I'd love to check you into a rehab for not sharing my wavelength for retail therapy, and for always walking out the store in 3 minutes flat, you will always be the friend whose friendship is as important as breathing. You are someone who is priceless, even with those countless duck face selfies you click each time we hang out together.

I know you'll read this sooner than later. Kindly remember to feel guilty if I'm severely punished for lying so much. I may not really live happily and healthily ever after, after posting this!

Current mood : Feeling blessed
Current music : title song - Dil Chahta Hai

Nanotale #Scars

2016-04-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

...And he walked away
Leaving behind #scars of unspoken feelings...

Nanotale #Independence

2016-04-02T00:24:00.000-07:00

She didn't expect anything of him.

She wasn't desperate for him to love her anymore.

In spite of the #Independence he claimed, he felt lost without her.

Un-becoming who you are not!

2016-04-02T00:13:00.000-07:00

"Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you." - Author Unknown.

"People wear masks. They hide their true self, even from themselves", I am being told. It got me thinking - there certainly is something about wearing a mask and pretending to be someone you are not. It changes the essence of who you are. There is a sense of freedom that comes from being anonymous. It's like walking into a masquerade party. You can fearlessly express hidden features of your personality. For that moment, the mask will make it so much easier to be yourself. But what happens when the mask is taken off? You are no longer anonymous, but naked and raw.

Being pretentious or wearing a mask for any length in time is hard work, it requires tremendous amount of energy to uphold the image you are carrying. It's not something that is born in a day. It takes years of nourishment for it to develop to it's current form.

Why do people choose to mask themselves instead of expressing their true self?

No one is perfect. We all have flaws, some of us are aware of them and some are not. The main reason people build a persona around them is because they are scared and insecure to show those flaws to the world. They fear from being "unacceptable" and may loose respect, friends and relationships if their flaws were to be uncovered. In the final analysis, we often wear masks in a pursuit to "fit in". We are hungry for people-approval. We perceive a set of "public behavioral patterns" in order to win "that" acceptance. It is true, sometimes people will only accept you in a particular way. But each one has it's own expectations and desires of how people around them should behave and act - so in an effort to please "some", you are neglecting "many" others. Wearing a mask also makes you hold ideas, beliefs and reactions that are conflicting and contradicting to your inner core values. It's really not a healthy way to live life.

Wearing a mask is going to create a distance between you and the people who really, genuinely care about you. Your mask will solve the primary purpose - of pleasing people. The problem is, they are the WRONG people. Someone out there will be impressed about your knowledge, your intellect, your work profile, etc., but ONLY because they are the ones complimenting that personality, and not your own.

Please note - Your social mask is not you. You will loose track of the person you are, and loose people along the way, if you don't shed it in time. There are people who love you for what you are - UNCONDITIONALLY. There is no fear of rejection, displeasure or misjudgment with them. There are people who understand and love the "REAL" you. People you can be honest with, shed every inhibition, people who hear what you say even before you say it. The kind of relationships that don't need a mask. People who listen and show they care in more ways than one, who empathize with your struggles, who encourage and offer support and who love you for who you are - without judgments and criticism.

So, UN-BECOME the person you are not. Reach out for those who love and accept you with genuine affection, and derive happiness in honoring you as the person you are, AND NOT the person behind that mask!

Nanotale #Diary

2016-03-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

"Do you have anything more to say"?, he asked her.

"No", she replied.

The pages of her #diary were filled.

Nanotale #SoulCleaning

2016-03-20T23:20:00.000-07:00

Being good to someone sometimes becomes the worst of your crimes.

#SoulCleaning #SpringCleaning #Lessonlearnt #firstdayofspring

Nanotale #Findingways

2016-03-20T22:17:00.000-07:00

He waited for her to forget him.
She burnt one cigarette after another finding ways to do it.

Teach your child the F-word!

2016-03-20T20:57:00.000-07:00

Failure. No one likes to befriend failure, the F-word, regardless of how you sugar coat it. But, inevitably, failure is a part of life. Sometimes things don't work out. At times we don't get what we want. Stuff happens. But if you reconstruct these situations the right way, one learns to create a new normal; to endure, to be more flexible, or to redirect our energies.

Failure is extremely hard for everyone, but more so, for overly ambitious kids. They are unaware of how to deal with this unaccustomed territory. It kills their self-esteem because they associate their performance to intelligence and brain power. And, it isn't a pretty picture. We need to give our children more wings and opportunities to embrace failure. They need to learn the skills and know-hows of how to build a relationship around it. Experiments may fail, data won't look right, someone may make better presentations, and even present them better. So many places to learn persistence and resilience.

I feel rebranding failure might be one of the many cures for the fear of failure in children. If your child has learnt something from the experience, he/she hasn't failed. Whatever they did was all a part of some kind of learning mission. Schools, too, have this failure-thing all messed up. They strive on getting the answer, but it is the question and the various ways in obtaining the answers that are more instructive. It's the pursuit in finding answers that they learn. Often, you'll hear kids say, "This may not be the ideal answer, but.." Kids fear sounding dull-witted. They fear being looked upon like a failure. It's OKAY to put forth your ideas and discuss them.

Schools and parents need to make space for asking questions as a safe and sacred haven for children. No one knows it all. If answers are unknown, "let's find out together" should be a more realistic approach. Education's primary focus on finding the "right" answer and having "good" grades makes kids afraid of asking questions. Schools harbor the fear of failure, which causes unnecessary work load on performance, and does not enhance learning at all.

At the same time, it is ironic that kids are the world's highest risk-takers. They'll want to balance on curbs, grab and reach out to shiny objects, discovering the world around them. Somehow, that sense of curiosity and discovery is lost in schools and classrooms. Educational institutions need to reinforce that risk-taking skills in them within their premises as well.

Kids need to be taught great stories on failure. How successful people have tried and failed in various fields, and still emerged triumphant. Every 10 tries to reach a particular result will teach them 9 ways that didn't work. Those are valuable lessons, too.

I feel, to weaken the fear of the F-word in children, parents and schools should be more open to the idea of failing. Kids should be encouraged to report what they learnt from taking a risk. They should see us as more approachable in asking questions and sharing their experiences. Because to succeed, they NEED to shake hands with failure. Failure will make them more kinder, better, stronger, and a wiser human being.

So, teach your kids the F-word. Have them get out there, and FAIL!

Nanotale #Worth

2016-03-20T08:18:00.000-07:00

Gained attention. Lost respect.

Looking back he realized it wasn't #worth it.