Cooking

GIVEAWAY: Another Shiny, Lovely, Happiness-Inducing Kitchen Aid Mixer. WE HAVE A WINNER!

Ree — Wed, 14 May 2008 11:50:00 +0000

CONGRATULATIONS, JENNIFER #7880! We’re all happy for you, if not slightly envious of your new toy. Congrats! And thanks to everyone for playing and making the contest so fun. And for putting ideas of fast food in my head. See you next time!. To see the detailed winner results, click here.)

Let’s talk about fast food! We don’t eat it very often here on the ranch, but it definitely has its place in American society. And let’s face it—everyone has their own fast food weakness. Mine happens to be Arby’s French Dip sandwiches, of all things. And let me tell you, one of those things could feed the world—they’re huge. So what’s yours? McDonald’s french fries? Burger King’s Whopper? What fast food item, if you were to throw caution, calories and fat to the wind, makes you groan with delight? Share it with us here.

To enter the random giveaway, just list your favorite fast food item (or meal) in the Comments section of this post. (If you’re a nutritionist or a purist and do not eat fast food, simply state that in the Comment! I won’t discriminate just because you don’t eat Whoppers.) One entry per person, please; no entries after 7:00 pm Pacific Time Wednesday. Winner will be selected randomly using Random.org’s Integer Generator and announced tomorrow.

Grand prize is a shiny, glossy Kitchen Aid 620 Stand Mixer, which will make you a happier person—this is a proven phenomenon. If it weren’t for my Kitchen Aid mixer, I’d be wandering in the culinary wilderness, and my life would be completely devoid of meringue. Don’t let that happen to you.

Good luck!

Apricot Bars: Are They for Breakfast…Or Dessert?

Ree — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:16:19 +0000

You know, I’d prefer to think of the food I gobble not in terms of the neat, tidy roles they fit into. I don’t like to slap labels on my food: This is BREAKFAST. This is LUNCH. This is my 4:56 SNACK, not to be confused with my 5:03 SNACK. No, I like to be more open than that, more accepting. I like to give my food a chance to be all that it can be and span the hours of the day and be at home in any situation.

It doesn’t work for everything. Roasted Garlic, I’ve found, just doesn’t make the best dessert. My Olive Cheese Bread isn’t the most palatable breakfast food. And while I’d love to be able to survive by eating Tiramisu for dinner every night, I don’t think my bottom would tolerate it much. I could go on and on.

These Apricot Bars are a little more forgiving, though, and make a delicious dessert OR snack OR breakfast. They’re about as wholesome as it gets: oats, brown sugar, butter, flour, and an interesting use of jarred Apricot Preserves. Mmmm…they just feel good goin’ down, no matter what time of day you choose to eat seven of them. OH! Did I just say that? No matter what time of day you choose to eat one. Unless you’re me, then you eat seven.

Let’s make ‘em first. Then we’ll argue about how many we’re going to eat.

The Cast of Characters: Flour, Oats, Brown Sugar, Baking Powder, Salt, Butter, and Apricot Preserves (may substitute other varieties.)

The word of the day is “Wholesome.” Everyone say that with me: Wholesome.

I usually buy this brand, though any brand is fine. I just like the red gingham lid. It makes me feel special and kitschy.

Begin by putting 1 1/2 cups oats in a mixing bowl.

Add 1 cup packed brown sugar.

And 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour.

Now add 1/2 teaspoon salt…

And 1 teaspoon baking powder.

Now add 1 3/4 sticks butter, cut into pieces. According to reader feedback, the recipe works best if the butter isn’t ice cold.

Now mix it all together until combined. It’ll look kinda like this.

Generously butter a square (or small rectangular) baking dish, then pour in half the mixture.

Lightly press the mixture into the bottom of the pan, and when you realize your cuticles are in desperate need of help…

Quickly remove your hand from the picture and grab a rubber spatula instead. That way, the whole world won’t see how far you’ve fallen cosmetically.

I used to have really nice cuticles. My cuticles took me far in life.

After you’ve lightly pressed it into the pan, spoon one 12-ounce (approximately) jar of Apricot Preserves over the top.

Gently spread it over the mixture. When you’re finished, lick the knife.

Next, pour the rest of the oat/flour/butter mixture over the top of the preserves and begin lightly patting with the spatula. Then put the spatula down and make a manicure appointment.

No need to press firmly here…just a light pat is fine.

Now bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes, or until light brown on top.

Mmmm. This smells really good.

Now let the pan cool completely.

And when you’re ready, just cut them into neat little squares.

And stack them up on one of your favorite plates.

When I die, I want to be buried with this china. Okay? Okay.

Ooooh, these are delightful. What I love about them is, you can serve ‘em up on a plate after dinner and they make a great dessert. Or you can pair ‘em with a big glass of cold milk in the morning and enjoy them as a quick breakfast. Or you can pack ‘em in your child’s lunchbox as a nutritious snack. They’re, like, soooo much better than Ding Dongs.

Or you can just eat ‘em now. Go ahead. I won’t tell.

Speaking of lunchbox, you wanna hear a sad story? I asked my punks what they wanted for Christmas last year and my eight-year-old daughter said, “A lunchbox.” As homeschoolers, it’s something we just hadn’t ever thought about before.

Then I cackled and said, “In your dreams, my little pretty!” Then I made her recite the Gettysburg Address in Pig Latin.

Love,
Pioneer Woman

Apricot Bars

1 1/2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups oats
1 cup packed brown sugar
1 3/4 sticks (regular, salted) butter, cut into pieces
1 10-12 ounce jar Apricot Preserves

Mix all ingredients except Apricot Preserves. Press one half of the mixture into a buttered 8″ square (or small rectangular) pan. Spread with a 10-12 ounce jar of apricot preserves. Sprinkle second half of mixture over the top and pat lightly. Bake at 350 for 30 - 40 minutes or until light brown. Let cool completely, then cut into squares. Eat as many as you want because they don’t have any chocolate in them and therefore, they’re totally healthy and non-caloric.

Yummy, Easy, Pineapple Skewered Shrimp. Or is it “Skewered Pineapple Shrimp?”

Ree — Thu, 08 May 2008 14:04:32 +0000

That very question will keep me up tonight.

Who loves shrimp, raise your hand? (I’m raising my hand.) Summer’s on its way, which means barbecues, company, good times…and skewers on the grill. I think this summer, I’m going to try to come up with as many ways to use a skewer as I can. I LOVE things on skewers: shrimp, chicken satay, chunks of grilled veggies. There’s just something so complete about it. You can grab a skewer off a tray, eat whatever’s on it, and feel like you’ve eaten something special. And you can stop there. Or, if you’re like me, you can repeat that process forty-nine times throughout the evening, and you’ll STILL feel like you’ve eaten something special! Skewers are great like that.

This recipe is so easy, and it’s one of those things that’s not dependent on precise quantities and measurements, or even ingredients. You just throw some storebought teriyaki sauce into a dish, then start adding whatever you’d like to add. Then you marinate the shrimp for a couple of hours, stick ‘em on a skewer with a chunk of—yes, canned—pineapple, grill ‘em up, and serve ‘em to what will soon be a roomful of very happy guests. It’s a familiar flavor—who doesn’t recognize the pineapple/teriyaki combination?—but what you add to the marinade can make it extra special…and something all your own.

Now let’s start off our day right and make some Pineapple Skewered Shrimp! Or is it Skewered Pinapple Shrimp? Oh, never mind.

The Cast of Characters: Peeled, deveined, jumbo shrimp, teriyaki sauce, garlic, sugar, canned pineapple with reserved juice, green onion. Other optional ingredients: red pepper flakes, chopped fresh ginger, lime zest…the world is your oyster!

Begin by washing, then peeling and deveining the shrimp (unless they’ve already come that way.) I just pull off the peel first, then run my fingernail down the back side, gently scraping open the back and removing the disgusting vein. I make sure my fingernails are spic & span, of course. (Normal people might opt for a knife, but I can’t be bothered with that step. We were born with fingernails for a reason, people—they’re supposed to be our tools.)

Be sure to save the shells in a Ziploc in the freezer. You’ll need ‘em when you want to make some seafood stock.

And no, Martha didn’t tell me to say that.

Start by pouring 1/2 to 1 cup of teriyaki sauce into a dish. How much you use depends on how many shrimp (”shree-yulmp”, to you Southern folks) you use.

Slice up 2 or 3 green onions and throw them in.

And maybe a little sugar, if you’re feeling particularly naughty. I added about 3 tablespoons.

I always like to add a lot of chopped garlic. This was about three cloves, but feel free to load it up to your heart’s content.

Now add a little juice from the pineapple chunks. Whew! We’re talkin’ suh-WEET! I took a little sip of the stuff and I just about went into an insulin meltdown. I also splashed in a couple of tablespoons of lemon juice, to cut the sweetness a bit. I also threw in a dash of salt.

It’s now that you can add in any or all of the following: red pepper flakes, chopped fresh ginger, lime zest (mmm, yummy), even some chopped jalapenos! Hey, I’m not the least bit afraid of mixing ethnicities when I cook. Rules don’t apply to me.

When it’s mixed to your satisfaction, throw in the peeled/deveined shrimp.

Stir the shrimp around to coat.

Now cover with plastic wrap and marinate in the fridge for a couple of hours. Several hours is okay, too.

When you’re ready to fix ‘em up, thread them onto a wooden skewer like this. Moving the shrimp from left to right, stick the skewer through the back of the tail, then stick one pineapple chunk onto the skewer, then finish by threading it through the other side of the shrimp.

And that’s why I have photos with my recipes. I’m incapable of vocalizing coherent instructions.

Anyway, keep doing…whatever I did up there in the photo…until all your shrimp are skewered.

You can either put several shrimp on one long skewer, or if you’re feeling fancy, you can do singles.

I’m not feeling fancy.

And speaking of fancy, OKAY…I SUPPOSE in a perfect world you COULD use a FRESH pineapple. But again…well, the ranch is not a perfect world.

Now it’s time to fire up the grill! You can use the outdoor grill, or the indoor grill, or a grill pan like this one. Also, you could use the broiler in your oven. Whatever floats your boat!

Get it? Boat? Shrimp? Shrimp Boat? Man, I’m headed for real hilarity today.

When the grill is nice and hot, drizzle on some olive oil.

Then put the skewers on to cook.

A minute or two later, flip them to the other side.

Then let ‘em go for another minute or two…

And flip ‘em over again. You want to get that nice black-grill effect here and there.

When they’re done, remove them to a plate.

Notice how the shrimp, as they cooked, wrapped tightly around the pineapple chunks?

That’s kinda how I act when someone tries to take away my Coffee Haagen Dazs. I just lie on the ground and wrap myself around it, locking my arms around it to protect my precious prize.

No, not really. But kinda.

That’s it! For dinner, these are great with rice. You can even boil the heck out of the leftover marinade, strain it, and drizzle some over the top. Or at a party, just throw a whole bunch of these skewers on a big platter. Guests will oooh and aaah and kiss you, even if you don’t particularly want them to.

That happened to me at a party once. Her name was Liza. It scared me so.

Love,
Pioneer Woman

Pineapple…Skewered…Whatever Shrimp

Peeled, Deveined Jumbo Shrimp
Teriyaki Sauce
Chopped Garlic
Sugar
Salt
Sliced Green Onions
Canned Pineapple Chunks, juice reserved
Lemon juice
(Optional ingredients: lime zest, red pepper flakes, minced fresh ginger, chopped jalapenos)

Make a marinade by combining Teriyaki sauce with remaining ingredients and reserved pineapple juice. Feel free to add whatever ingredients sound good! Stir in peeled/deveined jumbo shrimp and marinate at least a couple of hours. Skewer pineapple chunks with the shrimp and grill until done. Serve to a hungry crowd. Get ready to be kissed.

Enjoy!

Cuisinart Giveaway - We Have a Winner!

Ree — Wed, 07 May 2008 22:18:44 +0000

We have a winner! Congratulations Jolie, #1233! We’re all jealous…but we’re happy for ya. (Click here to see the detailed winner selection.)

Thank you so much for playing, everyone. It was great fun reading about your favorite foods ever, and it gave me a wicked case of the munchies! Two more anniversary-week contests are lurking around the corner: Photography section tonight…then the big whopper on Confessions tomorrow.

_____________________________

Are we having fun yet? It’s been a great anniversary week so far, and it’s about to get a little better if you’ve always wanted a “Cuisinart”…or two. This rip roaring giveaway includes Cuisinart 14-cup Food Processor (nice & big!) and a cute little punk 3-cup Mini-Prep Food Processor. Everyone should have a cute little matched set of Cuisinart food processors—did you not know this? That it’s a fundamental human right? Well, it is. And I’m here to promote human rights and justice and peace and…slicing, dicing, grating, and, of course, chopping the tarnation out of stuff.

To enter the contest, answer the following question in the Comments section of this post: “What is your one favorite food on earth?’ Now, we had a contest weeks ago in which entrants listed their ideal meal, and that was great fun; for this one, though, I want you to narrow it down to one specific food or dish. What food, when you first take a bite, causes your eyes to roll back into your head and forget your mother’s maiden name? Though I’m not eligible to enter, I’ll start the fun by listing mine:

Creme Brulee.

Oh, sure, I love my Coffee Haagen Dazs and my lobster tail with drawn butter and my creamed spinach and my spicy tuna rolls. And pretty much the first sip of chilled Sonoma Cutrer Chardonnay is about as good as it gets—call me crazy, but it just likes my mouth. But nothing, nothing makes my eyelids flutter like that first bite of a perfectly smooth creme brulee with a perfectly crisp burnt sugar crust. (Or is it “burned” sugar crust? Creme Brulee makes me forget grammar.)

And I’ve never wanted to live in a city more than I do right this minute. Mmmmm.

Now share yours! One entry per person, please; Contest will continue ’til 7:00 (am) Pacific Time Thursday! (I hope this makes it easier for some of you turkeys on the other side of the International Date Line.) Winner will be selected at random and will be announced tomorrow.

Good luck!

Not Your Granny’s Mac & Cheese

Ree — Mon, 05 May 2008 11:51:22 +0000

Oh, boy. Ohhhhhhhhhhh, boy. Oh, boy again. And again. And again.

As you can see, this macaroni and cheese leaves me speechless. Speechless and satisfied and satiated…and fat. But it’s a good kind of fat—the kind of fat that comes from knowing you’ve just ingested one of life’s real pleasures: this flavorful, spicy macaroni and cheese adorned with onions, peppers, corn…and delicious creamy Pepper Jack cheese. It’s such a perfect, versatile dish, too—it’s delicious on its own, or next to a juicy steak, or topped with yummy grilled shrimp. It’ll make your knees go weak…and it’ll make your guests never want to leave your house. And it’ll make you all fat. But if you’re okay with that, so am I!

The Cast of Characters: Macaroni (or Cavatappi, my favorite), red onion, jalapeno, red bell pepper, canned chopped chilies, frozen corn, Pepper Jack cheese, cream, garlic (oh, and olive oil, butter, salt and pepper won’t hurt.)

Begin by boiling a pot of water and throwing in the pasta. Cook until al dente—do not overcook or your life will be ruined.

Next, dice 1/4 to 1/2 of a red onion.

Then dice an equal amount of red bell pepper. I start by cutting off the top and seeding it…

Then I cut it into julienne strips…

Then I rotate the strips 90 degrees and dice them. I try to get the pieces quite small so there aren’t huge chunks in the finished dish.

Now, dice up a jalapeno. (You can leave this out if you’re a total wuss.) I start by chopping off the top…

Then I scrape out most of the seeds and membranes. This is where most of the heat resides, so if you’ve got the cajones, leave all or some of it in.

Cajones? Kahones? Kahunas? Which is it?

Anyway, julienne and dice them just like we did with the bell pepper.

Pretty, no?

Next, dice up 2 to 3 cloves of garlic, depending on how much you love garlic.

Also, grate a generous cup of Pepper Jack cheese so it’ll be all ready. And oh, live a little—make it a cup and a half.

Now, grab a large skillet—the largest you have—and drizzle in a little olive oil.

Over medium heat, add in the garlic and the chopped vegetables…

And about 1 cup of frozen corn.

Don’t do this. Don’t be like me.

Saute the vegetables for just a couple of minutes. You want them to be slightly tender, but not completely mushy and soft.

Toward the end of cooking, throw in a small can of diced green chilies. I’m always surprised at how much dadgum flavor canned chilies impart! And yes, I know roasting them yourself is preferred, but I can’t get Anaheim chilies at my local grocery store and I didn’t feel like driving over an hour to get ‘em. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it.

Now it’s time to get really serious, people. You need to spend a moment in reflection, meditation, and yoga before proceeding to the next step. It’s going to require a certain level of adventure on your part.

When the pasta is ready, drain it and pour about 4 cups right into the skillet.

Now, I’ve used regular elbow macaroni several times with success. But there’s just something so colorfully whimsical about Cavatappi.

Now measure 1 cup of heavy (evil, sinful, mean) cream.

And before stirring, go ahead an pour in the cream…

And add in all the cheese.

Don’t be afraid. This is the best part.

Now add in a little salt…

And plenty of black pepper. Yum.

And NOW you can stir! This is the moment you’ve been waiting for.

Oh my. You should smell this. Mmmm…

Now, just to be really obscene, please add in a couple of pats of butter at this point. Don’t ask me why—just trust that I have my reasons.

Give it a final stir, making sure everything’s all melted, then test the seasonings and add whatever you need. Sometimes I’ll add a little more cheese if it needs a little thickening.

Now it’s time to serve it up! Just look at this heavenly bowl of delight.

Really, you must taste it to believe it.

And that’s what I’m gonna do right now.

Oh, and this is my skillet one minute after I made this dish.

This is my skillet two minutes after I made this dish. The stuff goes fast.

Go make it tonight!

That’s an order.

P.W.’s Spicy Macaroni & Cheese

4 cups cooked macaroni or cavatappi
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/4 to 1/2 finely diced red onion
Equal amount diced red bell pepper
1 finely diced jalapeno
1 4 oz can chopped green chilies
1 cup frozen corn
2 to 3 cloves garlic, chopped
1 cup cream
1 generous cup grated Pepper Jack cheese
2 tablespoons butter
Salt
Pepper

Boil pasta until al dente. In a large skillet, add olive oil and saute garlic and vegetables over medium heat for a couple of minutes. Add in canned chilies and stir around, then turn off heat. Drain pasta and add it to skillet. Pour on cream, add cheese, then add salt and pepper to taste and stir gently. At the end, add 2 tablespoons butter and stir again. Check seasonings and serve.

Serve with juicy steak, with grilled shrimp, chicken, or on its own. It’ll change your life for the better.

Love,
Pioneer Woman

Springy Flower Pot Desserts: A Blast From My Past

Ree — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 20:49:58 +0000

Back on the golf course, I used to have a traditional back-to-school party for my friends and me every year. Because I apparently had nothing better to do with my time and focus, I’d have Cranes invitations printed, would dress in my finest floral dress or suit, and welcome 15-30 girls into my parents’ house, where we’d all toast one another with sparkling grape juice and feast on chicken salad with dill and baked brie and things like that. And so what if most of us have long since replaced the grape juice with the hard stuff…and so what if few of us look as good in our floral suits today as we did back then. But at least we don’t have perms anymore! I spit on 1986.

Anyway, for the party after my sophomore year, I made these delightfully fun little flower pot desserts. Don’t ask me where I heard about them; all I know is, one minute I was buying a bunch of tiny clay flower pots at the store…the next minute I was serving my friends dessert in them. And they all just loved them, ooohing and aaahing and saying things like “Oh, REE! Aren’t you just the CLEVEREST!” and “REE! You’ve outDONE yourself!”

Okay, so they didn’t actually say those things. Well, they DID say them…but only in my mind. Because really, when it comes right down to it, in high school I wasn’t really that wildly popular. I had friends, yes. But I was a little on the fringe, and now that I really think about it, I probably had those parties because I knew it was probably the only way I could ever get any of the cheerleaders to come to my house. I knew they’d never turn down a glass of sparkling grape juice and a mean chicken salad. But you think they ever invited me to any of their cookouts or movie nights? NO! Those cheerleaders, man. They were tough nuts to crack.

What I’m trying to say is, I have a few unresolved issues I need to work out. In the meantime, though, let me show you how to make these little delights! Now, they’re not ultra-gourmet, so don’t plan on using them to impress any food critics who might stop by your house unannounced. But they’re whimsical, playful, and perfectly yummy, and they’ll make your guests smile. Even if they’re cheerleaders.

The Cast of Characters: Ice Cream, Pound Cake (frozen is just fine), Oreos, and Gummy Worms (optional.) Also have on hand: Small clay flowerpots, straws, and fresh cut flowers.

Begin by slamming that frozen pound cake onto a cutting board.

Using a serrated knife, slice the cake into 1 to 1 1/2 inch slices.

And remember: Nobody doesn’t like Sara Lee.

Next, find a biscuit or cookie cutter that fits the bottom of the flower pot, and begin cutting the slices into rounds.

I used to have a normal, smooth biscuit cutter this size but my boys decided to use it to play asphalt hockey. Don’t ask.

But hey! Those fluted edges are kind of frilly and cute, now that I think about it.

And those scraps you’ll have left over? Just put ‘em in a Ziploc, freeze ‘em, and make a trifle for your Aunt Leona next time she visits.

Now find your diminutive flower pots. Make sure they’re washed and dried, please.

Next, just drop each round of cake into each pot, lightly pressing to make sure it’s all the way down.

(Oooh! What a dark photo. Sorry, man.) After that, grab your straws. Hold one up against the side of the pot…

Then, with your child’s tiny scissors (or your regular-sized ones, if you actually keep your things in their proper place, unlike me), snip it so that it’s about 1/2 to 1 inch shorter than the top. Then, just use that as a guide to cut the rest of the straws.

Now, stick a straw into the center of each pot, anchoring it into the cake.

We’re rollin’ now, baby!

Now, grab whatever flavor of ice cream you’d like to use, and either set it out on the counter to soften OR nuke it for 20 seconds or so. It needs to be somewhat soft for this step.

I think mint chocolate chip is fun. I just love the color.

Just spoon it into the pot, working it around the straw, until it almost reaches the very tip top of the straw.

Just carefully spoon it in…if you accidentally smear some on the side, we’ll take care of that in a minute.

Okay, how ’bout now? Grab a damp paper towel and just run it along the inside when you’re done, just to clean up the mess a bit.

Now just repeat this process with whatever different flavors of ice cream you’d like to use.

Here’s some Haagen Dazs Strawberry, one of mankind’s real triumphs.

And here’s Haagen Dazs Coffee, also known as Ree’s Lifeblood.

Honestly, how much better can it get than this, I ask you? Even if you aren’t a coffee drinker, you owe it to yourself to snarf down some of this. You’ll never go back to the way things were before.

You did NOT just see that. Keep walkin’…keep walkin’.

Now, if you have some boys coming to your shindig, you won’t exactly want to serve them a cute little pot with a daisy in it. I mean, after all! We must uphold male and female stereotypes in this society at all costs. We don’t want boys liking DAISIES, now, do we? Anyway, go ahead and fill a pot with a boy-friendly ice cream…like chocolate.

Then stop halfway through and throw in a few gummy worms.

Then just cover it on up with more ice cream.

And repeat after me: BOYS=WORMS. GIRLS=FLOWERS. And don’t ever forget that the rest of your life.

Now, as you fill the pots with ice cream, return them to the freezer. You’ll want them to refreeze completely and be very firm. Feel free to cover with plastic wrap or foil if that makes you sleep better at night. But I usually just stick them in, uncovered.

While you’re waiting for them to freeze, let’s crush the Oreos. Just throw them in a food processor…

And pulse ‘em ’til they resemble a nice, rich topsoil.

Don’t have a food processor? Just throw the Oreos into a Ziploc bag and crush them with a rolling pin.

Now! Are you ready to have some springtime fun?

When you’re ready to serve the pot, I mean the POTS (please don’t serve POT, as it really has no place at a garden party) just take one at a time…

And begin spooning the dirt (crushed Oreos) over the top.

Go ahead and spoon it on generously, as it will accompany each bite of ice cream. Plus, I love a rich, abundant soil look in my desserts. Try to cover most of the ice cream.

Then take a flower or two and stick the stem into the straw.

After you stick in the flower, go ahead and spoon more cookie crumbs up against the top of the straw.

How cute can one dessert get, I ask you?

Now repeat with all the pots…

…Sticking in whatever flowers you have on hand.

Remember the boy/worm pot?

Just cover up the worms with plenty of dirt.

And if you’re feeling particularly saucy, throw a couple more worms right on top.

When you’re ready to serve the beauties, put the pots on a pretty tray, along with napkins and spoons.

This is the one with the Coffee Haagen Dazs. It’s mine.

And SINCE it’s mine, you won’t mind if I go ahead and dig in, will you?

Oh, baby. Oh, mama. Oh, my.

Go make ‘em with your kids! Make ‘em for your granny. Make ‘em for the Junior League meeting you’re hosting at your house.

Just don’t expect me to come, okay? Clubs make me break out in hives.

Love,
Pioneer Woman

We Have a Winner! (Though We’re Really ALL Winners With This One.)

Ree — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:15:43 +0000

Let me reiterate how thrilled I am to have received such a great collection of so many of your best recipes. I’ve become addicted to them, too—sitting down and scrolling through a few at a time whenever I can peel away from my four ankle-biting punks. INCIDENTALLY: I increased the number of Comments per page to 400, so you won’t have to click as often to read through them. (I did this across the other three sections of ThePioneerWoman.com, too, just to make it easier on ya.) Anyway, I digress. What was I going to say? I could have sworn I had something to tell you…what was that? Oh well; must not have been that important. See you tomorrow!

Just kidding. I shall now announce the winner.

Using Random.org’s brilliant Integer Generator, I asked it to randomly choose a number between 1 and 5289, which was the total number of entries that arrived by 8:00 (Pacific Time) last night. (I left the ones that arrived after the contest time so we could still enjoy the yummy recipes those folks took the time to type out.)

Gosh, it’s always nerve-wracking hitting that “Get Number” button! I’m always afraid I’ll sneeze or have some sort of convulsion and accidentally shut down my computer before I get a screenshot of the number, and then the whole thing would just be dirty and wrong. Fortunately, that’s never happened.

So here’s the number it generated:

Congratulations, Number 569! Now let’s look and see who the heck you are…

Howdy, Bridget. And congrats!

You’re now the proud owner of this:

Email me at ree@thepioneerwoman.com to claim your prize.

Though we’re all a little jealous (me included), I think we can all take solace in the 5,000-plus new, delicious recipes we now have at our fingertips! What a goldmine.

I think I’ll start with Bridget’s. My bottom woke up this morning wanting to be something bigger than it is. This is its chance.

More contests around the corner, everyone, so don’t be downhearted! And thanks again for sharing.

Love,
P.W.

5,000-Plus Reader Recipes!

Ree — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 16:15:18 +0000

Note: I recently held a contest in which I asked readers to submit their favorite recipe. The response was overwhelming and I spent that whole night scrolling through the recipes, drooling and licking my computer screen over the goldmine of dishes everyone submitted. The contest is over and I’ve removed that information, but I’m not touching these precious recipes, folks—there are some absolute gems in here. Until such time as I have a way to index these beauties, have fun scrolling through the pages of comments. And skip around! Start at the last page if you’re feeling particularly rebellious.

I’m also opening up the Comments section again, so feel free to add your own favorites. Be sure to share a recipe you don’t mind sharing (no tip-top family secrets unless you’ve had Aunt Bessie or Grandpa Delbert sign waivers) and try to keep it as brief as you can—just the ingredients and quick instructions will do.

NOTE: Pioneer Woman reserves the right to feature any of the recipes entered in this contest on this website (full credit will be given to the recipe owner, of course). Part of what makes this community of food lovers so special is, well, we’re a community with a bounty of great ideas—and great recipes—to share with one another. So zero in on one of your faves, post it here…and that’s it!

Thanks so much for sharing.
P-Dub

Basic Breakfast Potatoes

Ree — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:57:34 +0000

This is one of those basic, unadorned, cowboy-friendly staples of my cooking repertoire that’s so utterly versatile, I just can’t help but love it. Called Breakfast Potatoes by some, Skillet Potatoes by others, they can be enjoyed in their simplest form or dressed up in any number of ways to suit whatever you’re doing. And they’re perfect for breakfast, lunch, and dinner—equally at home beside bacon and eggs OR next to a juicy grilled rib-eye steak. And they’re totally customizable in terms of seasoning and adornments: add in some garlic if you’re feeling adventurous, or onions and peppers, or even some chopped jalapenos if you’re really looking for trouble. These basic potatoes open up a whole world of possibilities. I love it when potatoes do that.

One thing I love to do is make up a whole slew of breakfast burritos, adding in these potatoes with the eggs and sausage and cheese and salsa. Gives ‘em a real stick-to-your-ribs quality. And sometimes I’ll spoon a nice helping of potatoes into small, individual iron skillets, then top them with a couple of fried eggs. You watch a cowboy dig into THAT sometime. Still, other times I just keep ‘em simple, adding in only chopped onion and serving them with bacon, burgers, or steak. And then I sit back and watch them disappear. It usually doesn’t take long.

Let’s make the suckers, shall we?

Place 4 to 5 potatoes in a pot and cover with water. I like to use red potatoes because they’re nice and golden inside.

Bring to a boil and cook until potatoes are fork-tender.

When they’re ready, place the hot potatoes on a cutting board…

And dice them into 1-inch-ish pieces.

Inch-ish. Say that five times fast. Just for kicks.

Now your potatoes are ready!

Next, cut up an onion into a large, rough dice. I do not have a photo of my cutting up my onion. Because you see, I’m a one woman freak show here, and when punks run through the kitchen chasing my basset hound because the basset hound has a turtle in his mouth, all plans are out the window.

So anyway, cut up an onion, okay?

Next, heat a skillet over medium to medium-low heat.

My goal is to tack “ish” onto as many words today as possible. Possible-ish.

Next, put a little oil in the pan…or if you’re like ME:

Scrape the pan you used to make bacon earlier this morning. ‘Cause you ALL made bacon this morning…right?

Sometimes I start with a little vegetable oil first. (A tablespoon is good.)

Then, because I usually straddle the fence between good sense and utter foolishness, I add an equal amount of bacon fat.

‘Cause it tastes gooooooood, that’s why.

While it’s melting, go ahead and make peace with yourself.

Then add in the coarsely chopped onions.

Saute until starting to turn brown. NOTE: Feel free also to use red and green bell peppers.

Next, throw in the diced potatoes. Now, sometimes I’ll remove the onions first and wait to add them back in when the potatoes are brown. But I happen to like the onions to get all dark and burny, so I’m going to leave them.

Burny? Burney? Someone please correct my spelling for this made-up word. Thank you.

Stir the potatoes around…

Then slightly press/pack them. Then just cook without stirring for several minutes. You want to make sure the pan is hot enough to crisp the potatoes, but not hot enough to char the poor dears.

NOTE: Sometimes, to make an interesting crust on the potatoes, I’ll sprinkle a couple of tablespoons of flour over the top of the potatoes while the underside is cooking. That way, when you flip them they’ll get a little crispy.

I didn’t do that this time. Why, you might ask? Again…basset hound…turtle…

So anyway, just keep cooking the potatoes for several minutes, allowing them to get nice and brown. And if you kept the onions in the pan, be prepared for some of the onions to get quite brown/black. But I like ‘em that way.

After several minutes, use a spatula to flip the potatoes over to the other side.

And thoroughly salt and pepper them through out the cooking process. Because no matter how you slice it, potatoes must have seasoning.

Lots and lots of seasoning.

Lots and lots of…oh, never mind. I think you heard me.

And that’s it! How long you cook the potatoes depends on how you like ‘em: if you like ‘em really, really brown and crispy, sprinkle on a little flour and keep up the cooking process. If you like them a little on the soft side, quit cooking whenever you’d like.

Enjoy them! Spoon them into your breakfast burritos or place a fried egg on top or serve them alongside this Eggs Benedict if you’re feeling especially saucy.

Just don’t tell anyone. Okay?

Risotto: One of Life’s Great Triumphs

Ree — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:09:50 +0000

The first time I ever tasted Risotto, I was living and working in Los Angeles, which means black pumps only left my feet for an average of about seven hours a day, i.e. only when I slept. Anyway, our office went out to dinner one night with the CEO and the CFO and the COO, all visiting from Connecticut, and when the waitress took our order, all three of the big wigs ordered the special of the night: Risotto. Because I wanted to be a big wig too, I went ahead and ordered Risotto too. I had no idea what it even was. But if it was good enough for those homeboy big wigs, it was good enough for me.

I don’t remember anything else that happened that evening, and it’s not because of the 874 bottles of chardonnay that passed around the table; it’s because once I took the first bite of that Risotto all creamy and textural and perfectly flavorful—I was transported to another plane of existence entirely. After that first bite, I lost all feeling in my elbows, my eyes closed softly, and my scalp began to tingle, and not because the Santa Ana winds were in high gear that night. After that first bite, my life changed forever. I had eaten a perfectly prepared Risotto. And I never wanted to go back to the way I was before.

Well, I wouldn’t mind weighing 123 again. That would be nice. But you see, Risotto and 123 are not harmonious. They do not mesh. They can not coexist. They war violently, and only one can win.

In my world, Risotto won. Long, long ago.

There are dozens and dozens of variations on Risotto: stirring in fresh pumpkin, adding lots of fresh herbs, mushrooms, shrimp…you name it. And though I love jazzing it up from time to time, most of the time I like to strip it down to a simpler, more basic recipe: a little garlic, a little cream, and lots of freshly grated cheese. Because it’s hard to improve on perfection.

The only downside to Risotto—well, besides the fact that it establishes permanent residence on your bottom—is that it takes around thirty minutes to make, and that thirty minutes is spent slaving over the stove, slowly adding in liquid in increments, then stirring until it reaches the right texture. In fact, the phrase “slaving over a hot stove” originated in a tiny town in Italy, when a cobbler actually chained his dutiful wife to their kitchen stove for three weeks, forcing her to make Risotto over and over and over. Chilling tale, isn’t it?

Okay, so I made that up. But Risotto does require a little effort so just make sure you plan for that. I happen to think that’s part of the joy of Risotto, though—the organic process of cooking and stirring and cooking and stirring…plus it burns an extra twelve calories so you can have an extra…grain or two.

Let’s go make it!

The Cast of Characters: Butter, Olive Oil, Onion, Garlic, Arborio Rice, Chicken Broth, Heavy Cream, any one or combination of Parmesan, Romano, and Asiago cheese, Salt, Pepper, and Chives. Get ready for greatness, my homies.

Before we go any farther, I bring you the following breaking news alert:

Pioneer Woman does not use processed Parmesan cheese in her Risotto.

She uses…

ACK! Parmigiano Reggiano! What’s gotten into me? What’s the world coming to? WHAT’S HAPPENING?

You can use whatever cheese you like. I happen to like the real stuff for this recipe—it just takes the final dish over the top in flavor.

Okay, first we need to grate the cheese, because if we wait ’til the Risotto’s on the stove we won’t be able to break away long enough to get it grated.

Basically, you need a total of 2 cups grated cheese.

I start with the Parmigiano Reggiano. It makes me feel like, totally awesome.

Ahhh, yes. There’s my baby. Come to mama, baby. Come to mama.

I also like to use a cheese called Pecorino Romano. It’s very bitey and flavorful.

It’s also slightly softer and easier to grate. And that’s always a nice break.

As you grate the different cheeses, just throw it into a bowl together. Then it’ll be easy to dump it in at the end.

This time I used Parmesan (top left), Romano (top right), and Asiago (front). But you can use all of one or just two if that’s what you have.

Now peel 3 to 4 cloves of garlic. I used 3 because I’m 39 and I have this thing called HEARTBURN if I eat garlic after 5:00. Yeah, and my Arthur-itis is givin’ me fits and my goiter is goitering and I have liver spots on my hands. It’s all downhill from here.

Just chop the garlic pretty finely.

Please note: This is not my favorite knife. My favorite knife was in the sink and I didn’t have time to wash it. And I realized I no longer like any knife except that one.

Next, dice 1/2 large onion.

And now it’s time to slave over a hot stove! Do it for chained up Italian wives everywhere.

Heat a large skillet over medium to medium-low heat, and add 1 tablespoon of olive oil.

Then, add in 1 tablespoon butter. It’s for the flavor, man.

Now throw in the garlic and onion, and don’t be like me. The heat was too high and it sorta fried the garlic a little.

But I totally meant to do that. As far as you know.

Go ahead and saute for a couple of minutes until the onion is translucent.

Now! Dump in 1 pound Arborio rice, right on top of things.

Then stir it around to coat the rice thoroughly.

Now! Here’s what we’re going to do. Using approximately 7 to 8 cups of chicken stock or broth, we’re going to add in about 1 cup at a time, stirring constantly after each addition. As soon as it appears the helping of broth has been absorbed by the rice, add in the next helping. It’s important not to leave the stove, and not to stop stirring gently.

Here’s the first addition of broth.

Stir it around for a minute or two…

And when it looks like the liquid is mostly absorbed…

Add in a little more of the liquid. We’re going to repeat this several times until we’ve used all the liquid.

NOTE: It’s important not to get the skillet too hot. I really keep it on the low side of medium; you don’t want the rice to start sticking to the bottom of the pan. And remember to stir.

Sorry I’m so bossy.

Here’s another liquid addition…

It’s amazing how quickly the rice absorbs the liquid. Blessed is the rice that hungers and thirsts for chicken broth; for it shall be filled.

So basically, you’re going to keep up this craziness for at least 20 minutes, maybe more. The point is to add the liquid in small doses, and stir it as it absorbs.

*20 minutes elapses

Oooh, look! We’re getting close. When it starts to get puffy like this, you’ll want to taste a couple of grains. If it still has a hard/firm bite to it, keep up the liquid/cooking process. The amount of liquid you’ll need to use varies; not all Arborio behaves the same.

*5 more minutes elapses

It’s ready! I tasted a few grains and though it’s still firm and nice, the hard bite is gone.

And now. And now it’s time to get serious.

When most of the liquid is absorbed, pour in 1 to 1 1/2 cups heavy cream. Don’t be afraid. I wouldn’t lead you astray.

Next, dump in the grated cheese.

DON’T BE AFRAID. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you.

Now stir the whole dadgum mess together. And go ahead and pass out now so you can save up your energy to eat.

Add in plenty of black pepper…

And a tablespoon or two of chopped chives.

Next, add a little salt if it needs it, but remember the cheese is quite salty. Give it one final stir, and serve it right away. Because I can’t wait another minute or I’m going to wig out.

But in a ladylike way, of course.

To serve, just place a not-too-large-because-it’s-richer-than-all-get-out portion in your favorite dish. I think I’ll go for this Jadite soup plate.

Sprinkle some chives on top (or any ol’ herb will do.)

And if you’re feeling fancy, do something like this. Only unlike me, please give your hand a dusting of bronzing powder. Man, that’s a pale hand.

It may not look like much, but let me tell you one thing: This Risotto…is delicious. There’s no other word I can use.

Next to a steak…or a salad…or simply on its own with a glass of wine (or a Fresca, if that’s more your poison), there are few things more perfectly simple than Risotto.

Make it. Make it now. Eat! Enjoy!

*burp*

Excuse me.

PW’s Perfect Risotto

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
1 small or 1/2 medium onion
3 to 4 cloves garlic
1 pound Arborio rice
7 to 8 cups chicken broth (low sodium)
1 to 1 1/2 cups heavy cream
2 cups (total) grated Parmesan, Romano, and/or Asiago cheese
Salt & Pepper to taste
Chopped chives

Heat oil in large skillet, then add chopped onion and garlic and cook until soft. Dump in 1 pound dry Arborio rice, and stir to coat. Then add the broth, in 1-cup increments, stirring after each addition until liquid is absorbed. Rice is done when it no longer has a hard bite. After all liquid is absorbed, add cream, cheese, salt & pepper, and stir to combine. Stir in chives and serve immediately.

Love,
P-Dub