*Raising Hand*

Oh, and one more thing:

Swwwwooooooooooon.

Okay, now that that’s out of the way, I wanted to invite you to drop by and take the big, epic, large, gargantuan HARRISON FORD movie quiz Wednesday night! It’s been over two months since the last quiz on PW Entertainment, and this’ll be a great one. All Harrison Ford movies are fair game!

WHAT: Big HARRISON FORD Movie Quiz
WHEN: Wednesday, June 19, 6:00 pm Pacific Time (9:00 pm Eastern Time!)
WHERE: Here, baby!
WHY: Because Harrison Ford, that’s why.

Prizes will be shiny and fun. (It will not be a Millennium Falcon.)

See you Wednesday night!

The other morning I was watching The Today Show and there was some kid on there named Austin Mahone. I’d never heard of him, but apparently he’s the new Justin Bieber because all the pre-teen girls outside were going wild over him and had made all manner of glittery signs that read “MARRY ME, AUSTIN!”. Because getting married at twelve usually works out so well.

It was one of those moments, much like every year when I watch the Grammys, when I realize I am old and out of touch. Which should come as no surprise considering I’d probably still use my old Sony Walkman if I could find it. Remember how sleek and small we all thought the Walkman was? So modern and bright yellow!

All it takes is a quick look at the top songs on iTunes to further determine my musical irrelevance. I don’t know T.I. or Pharrell or Daft Punk. I mean the only reason I know Justin Timberlake is because I closely followed his entire relationship with Britney Spears back in the day, including the fight/dance off they had at some nightclub in New York after they broke up. I’m so proud of him for overcoming those dark days of sporting a suit made entirely of denim. And I plan to listen to his song Mirrors all summer long.

That’s the extent of my current music acumen.

But you know what I love. Some 70s lite rock. The key is “lite”. Don’t try to spell it “light” because it’s not the same.

Maybe it’s because it’s the music of my childhood and reminds me of sitting in the backseat of my family’s Buick LeSabre as we listened to Rita Coolidge on eight-track tapes. Or maybe it’s because it was the golden age of the singer-songwriter. Or maybe it’s because it harkens back to a simpler time when we believed it was normal for men to be able to hit notes like the Gibb brothers. I don’t know for sure.

I just know that about a month ago I discovered the 70s Lite Rock station on Pandora and I cannot quit it. I’m fascinated by the fact that I know the words to every song that comes on, especially considering I can’t remember to buy milk at the grocery store when it’s written on a list. Who knew that I spent my childhood absorbing so much Ambrosia and Jim Croce and Seals and Croft by osmosis?

And so I thought I’d list a few of my favorite songs from the 1970s. Because I am nothing if not culturally relevant. But then I realized that’s an impossible task because I love them all. Chicago, James Taylor, Carole King, Carly Simon, Elton John, Don McLean, The Bee Gees, America.

Captain and Tennille, for goodness sake.

It’s an embarrassment of riches.

Please tell me I’m not alone. Does anyone else out there enjoy some 70s lite rock? Could you possibly pick just one song? Do you have any great suggestions for Pandora stations? And can you name a song that Austin Mahone sings?

I’d love to know.

In the meantime, I’ll just be here listening to Sister Golden Hair.

#66 linda o: “Have a great Monday. I get to go to lunch with a friend today so it’s a great Monday for sure.”
#288 Susan L: “Hi Y’all!! Good Morning from Texas.”
#2777 Carla B: “Happy rainy Monday in PA”
#4389 Cheryl: “Howdy”
#5316 Beth: “Would love to have the book!”

Congratulations, winners! Contact prizes@thepioneerwoman.com to claim your prizes!

My friend, fellow blogger, fellow television lover, and Real Housewives confidante and co-conspirator Sophie Hudson, also known as BooMama, has released her memoir…and I’m so excited about it. Many of you know BooMama from her posts here on PW Entertainment on the subject of TV, movies, and music. I know her as a friend…and as one of the funniest people on the planet.

 
Sophie’s book is A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet: Stories of Family, Faith, and Fifteen Pounds of Bacon, and rather than try to explain what the book is about, I’ll show you the endorsement I wrote after first reading a sample of the book a few months ago. I had inhaled it, exhaled it…and I loved every single second of it.

“Well, it’s official: I’m in love with this book. Sophie Hudson is hilariously appreciative of her very southern roots, and shares tales of all the experiences (and the lovably eccentric relatives!) that shaped her. Threads of love, family, and faith hold the stories together…but it’s Sophie’s laugh-at-life humor that sings forth from every page. She writes as if you’re sitting on her front porch drinking a tall glass of sweet tea, and it’s impossible not to come away from each chapter without feeling like you know her a little better. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun reading a book.”
Ree Drummond

I should mention that when I write a blurb or endorsement for a book, I feel like I should read first so that I can truly comment on the book itself. Call me crazy. In this case, however, it was a busy time and I initially set out to hurriedly skim Sophie’s book so I could get my feedback to her in a jiffy…but I wound up sitting, taking my time, and savoring every last word.

Sophie is nothing short of hilarious, and it doesn’t take long for her writing to grab you by the hand. Having spent time with Sophie (not just in person but also via text message, which is our number one medium for communicating about Bravo shows) I can tell you that she writes exactly—I mean, exactly—as she talks. There is zero pretense or effort to come across as anything but herself—the book is 100% Sophie, and she truly makes you want to be her best friend.

In fact, right after I finished her book I was tempted to send her a friendship contract like the one Cynthia presented to NeNe on Real Housewives of Atlanta just so I seal our friendship with a legal document and make her mine forever…but I was afraid it would disturb her.

But actually, it wouldn’t. Sophie would totally get it, laugh about it, and sign it.

And that’s what makes her so fabulous.

Here’s the link to Sophie’s book on Amazon.

A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet: Stories of Family, Faith, and Fifteen Pounds of Bacon

Highly recommended!

GIVEAWAY

Today, because I love this book, I’m giving away five (5) copies of A Little Salty to Cut the Sweet, along with…

 
 
This Mason Jar Drink Dispenser, which is perfect for a big batch of lemonade or sweet tea…and which Sophie, I imagine, would love.

TO ENTER

If you’re interested, just say howdy or hi or Happy Monday or anything else in the Comments section of this post!

I’ll select the winners and announce them Tuesday morning.

Good luck!

Note from PW: This post by Mark Spearman doesn’t fit neatly under the umbrella of “Entertainment” but since we’ve enjoyed so many of his entertainment-themed post, I know you’ll enjoy reading his essay below about his late dog Patchie. I’m still wiping a tear or two.

By Mark Spearman.

The Scottish poet Byron had a big shaggy Newfoundland called Boatswain. A Boatswain is a rank in the old Royal Navy. Seems an unlikely name for a dog. But for all I know Boatswain was the “Scout” or “Rover” of the 17th Century. Like, you bring a puppy home and some guy in a powdered wig squeals “Omg! He’s ADORABLE! Let’s call him BOATSWAIN!”

Byron loved Boatswain. So much so that when the dog passed on, he wrote a poem in his honor, a poem inscribed on Boatswain’s headstone. I recall being touched by these words when I first read them. Sometimes when a friend loses a pet, I send it to them. It is known as Epitaph to a Dog:

He Possessed Beauty Without Vanity
Strength without Insolence
Courage without Ferocity
All the Virtues of Man
And None of his Failings

I do understand the sentiment Byron expresses, but here’s where our conclusions differ: I don’t think dogs are always altruistic and virtuous. Many of them have jealousies, fears, demons. They struggle to be good. That’s what makes them compelling.

I’m not talking about the shortcomings of dogs in cartoons and sitcoms. I’m not talking about the “Oh-Gee-Buster-Chewed-Up-Dad’s-Newspaper-AGAIN!” (Cue Music: Wah, Wahhhhh… ) types of issues. I’m talking about stuff that’s messed up. As dysfunctional and weird as any human behavior.

We had a dog named Patchie. He had many nicknames and variations of Patchie through the years, but we’ll stick with Patchie. You can stop worrying that this is another sappy dog story. It will not reference a small child pulled from the path of a speeding bus; there is no frantic face-licking to awake a family as fire breaks out, no impossible high-jump to take a bullet for humans in danger.

Patchie was a golden retriever. He was beautiful, and he knew it. He enjoyed comfortable sofas and quiet afternoons. He never chased a ball in his life and had a disdain for mindless canine frolic. He was often unkind to his brother, Ned.

While other dogs lived for car rides, Patchie squirmed anxiously, panting so heavily as to fog the windows. He’d push his way to the front seat, harummphing and glaring, periodically sticking his head through the sunroof to see where the heck you were taking him.

What he adored most was being lovingly petted and groomed and fawned over. What he detested most was another dog being lovingly petted and groomed and fawned over. It led to much drama.

This underlying deprivation and martyrdom, intolerance for others being the center of attention, wasn’t limited to dog brethren. At Christmas, the sight of humans excitedly unwrapping gifts infuriated him. He was like the crazy uncle on day-release you invite for the holiday. A few glasses of eggnog and his resentment builds and crests until he’s ripping up wrapping paper and bows and stomping off to the kitchen.

One afternoon my kids were huddled together on the floor playing the board game Life. If you remember this game, it is played by spinning a tiny wheel, located in the middle of the board, with spaces numbered one through 10. The game ends, abruptly and permanently, when a golden retriever, incensed from social exclusion, rips the little spinning wheel from the board with his teeth and runs away.

Despite his acting out, Patchie made strong and deep connections to people, and he loved fiercely, no doubt with the same frail heart that so feared loss and craved acceptance. He had a way of sidling next to you, burying his head in your chest, leaning in with all of his weight. You could feel him soaking it up.

He was a good listener. He stared intently into people’s eyes as they spoke, not so much to divine meaning, but to savor attention. When people returned home from school or work, he was the first off his perch, intensely eager to reconnect.

Patchie was most at peace sitting quietly in the garden as his humans tended the flowers and plants around him. He posed, as if he were some exotic hothouse bloom.

We’re told not to impose human emotions and motives onto animals. But there’s a theory that an adaptation, born over 10,000 years of human contact, has granted dogs the ability to understand a moral code, to abide by social rules. I do believe that Patchie struggled to become a better dog.

This was evidenced by something extraordinary that happened the day a new member of the family arrived. As a nervous Brittany spaniel puppy entered our house, the suspicious and defensive Alpha dog slowly slid to the floor, paws outstretched. As if to say to the much-smaller spaniel “You are welcome here. No harm will come to you.” To all those who witnessed, it was Patchie’s finest hour.

It is true: Old men miss many dogs. I think of him often.

There’s a picture I took of Patchie and my younger daughter that hangs in my living room. It is late summer, their faces dappled in sunlight filtered through the canopy of an ash tree. He looks directly into the camera.

That image crystallizes my memory of him in a single moment of grace. The noble protector, loved and accepted, but still, in his eyes, a faraway hint of something. Maybe a constant appeal to his better angels to dispel the demons who sometimes made it hard to be a good dog.

And it reminds me that Patchie was, in words borrowed from another Byron poem, ”A troubled stream, but from a pure source.”

Well.

After Scandal’s seemingly endless three-week hiatus, the season’s final four episodes were chock-full-o-developments. We learned a whole lot more about Huck; we realized that Fitz meant business where Mellie was concerned; and we saw that the people in Olivia’s office – especially Harrison and, surprisingly, David Rosen – were more than wiling to rally behind their boss when the stakes were higher than ever before.

And oh my goodness. If you watched the season finale – and if you’re anything like me – you realized that there’s still a whole lot that we don’t know.

But it’s so much fun trying to figure it out.

****SPOILERS AHEAD****

****MANY, MANY SPOILERS****

****THERE’S STILL TIME TO ESCAPE IF YOU’RE NOT INTERESTED IN SPOILERS****

All righty. Here are some of the question marks I’m wrestling with as we begin the long wait until season three begins.

1. Cyrus

On one hand he is a deeply loyal member of the president’s staff – to the point of breaking a few (!!!) laws in the interest of what Cyrus thinks is the country’s best interest – but on the other hand he is self-serving, manipulative, deceitful, cold-hearted, and maybe just a little bit evil. It’s unclear how deeply connected – or controlled by – Cyrus is to B6-13, a faction of the CIA, and it’s also hard to tell who’s manipulating whom. Cyrus’ temper caused him to lose some credibility with me in the next-to-the-last episode – I thought he was condescending, insulting, and hateful to James – and by the time he finished, I felt like he’d hurt my feelings a little bit. Even though I don’t know him. And he’s not a real person. Even still, it’d be nice if Cyrus’ heart attack persuaded him to slow down and go a little easier on the people around him, but I think the odds of that are slim to none. He’s the king of the political jungle, and it seems like nothing can force him from his throne.

2. Jake

I’ve waffled a lot about whether Jake is a good guy or bad guy, but he seemed to answer that question in the season finale: he’s a good guy who follows orders that make him act like a bad guy. He deviated from his orders when he saved Olivia from the assassin who showed up at her door (which begs some questions: why would the hitwoman have eavesdropped on the monument steps? If she and Jake work for the same people, couldn’t she just get orders from the boss? Or did I miss something?). Jake ended the episode in a (literal) dark place, and I wonder if that foreshadows a Huck-like transformation? I thought that at some point we might have have a Jake / Fitz / Olivia love triangle, but that’s going to be tough if Jake is stuck in that below-ground holding cell for much longer.

3. Mellie

Mellie is a pistol. And honestly, when I posted about Scandal six weeks or or so ago, I was beginning to think that Mellie might be Albatross. Now we know that she’s not – but she definitely has ambitions that go far beyond her role as First Lady. And now that Fitz has come back to her on his hands and knees, she’s going to have some leverage. I’m still not sure that Mellie isn’t involved with either B6-13 or some other behind-the-scenes group – maybe the leak about Olivia and Fitz came from her? – but there’s no question that she’ll work her tail off to get what she wants most of all: a second term in the White House.

4. Olivia

One of the things that I love about Olivia is that as capable as she is in her professional life, her personal life is a big ole mess. And for the second half of this past season, I steadily fought the urge to crawl through the TV and remind her that the man of her dreams is still oh-so-very-married. That being said, I felt a little proud of Olivia at the end of the season finale; she put her team ahead of herself and made a conscious decision to put on her white hat again. She was even wearing her white-as-snow work-out shirt when she walked into that pile of paparazzi outside her building. True to form, Olivia enjoyed approximately one night of peace before she was shoved into chaos again. It’ll be interesting to see how she manages her own reputation in light of the scandal at hand.

5. The loose ends

David Rosen is a US District Attorney now? And Quinn is oh-so-at-home in territory that typically belongs to Huck? Not to mention that the man who seems to be calling the shots for B6-13 is, you know, Olivia’s father? All of these things gave me a little pause in the season finale, and they also leave room for all sorts of developments in season three. Plus, I can’t help but wonder if Cyrus can survive the stress of another campaign – and if David Rosen and Abby will end up together again? Also rumbling around in the back of my mind is this possibility: will Jake end up employed by Olivia Pope & Associates? Granted, that’s a long shot since, as I mentioned before, BELOW-GROUND HOLDING CELL, but maybe the president can pull some strings on his behalf.

I realize, of course, that part of the fun of Scandal is that it twists and turns and bobs and weaves – things are never really what they seem. But still, it’s fun to speculate.

What do y’all think? Was the season finale everything you’d hoped? Do you have any thoughts / expectations / theories about what we can expect next season? Any predictions about what’s down the road for Olivia and her friends?

Spoilers ahead!! This post is full of spoilers!!

Do not read this post if you have plans to watch every episode of Call the Midwife from the beginning and don’t want to know what happens!!

At some point over the last two months I fell woefully behind on Call the Midwife. I’m not sure what I was so busy doing but it must have been terribly important given that I can’t remember it.

But then my husband and daughter left for a fishing trip and I decided to spend my free time in the most productive way possible. By which I mean that I fired up my DVR to get caught up on all my favorite shows.

I spent the next several hours falling in love with Call the Midwife all over again. I’m not going to go as far to say that I like it as much as Downton Abbey, but it’s close. And by the time I got to the end of the season finale, I was sobbing on my couch.

(I bet my husband wishes he’d been home for that. He loves big displays of emotion over things that aren’t even real.)

And since no one I know in real life watches the show, I feel the need for us to discuss some thoughts.

1. Weren’t you so relieved to see Chummy return? I was afraid we wouldn’t see her again. And when she had to be rushed to the hospital during labor? I didn’t breathe for like thirty minutes.

5. Do you think Nurse Jenny is going to end up with that photographer friend of Jimmy’s? And, most importantly, how are we going to live without new episodes for a year?

I’d love to hear what you thought about the rest of the season. And now I’m off to catch up on Mr. Selfridge. So much British television, so little time.

Moms have a special place in my heart. The lack of them too, for that matter.

I’m sure you have noticed the lack of moms in Disney movies.

1. Bambi
2. Snow White
3. Cinderella
4. Finding Nemo
5. Pinocchio
6. Beauty and the Beast
7. The Little Mermaid

Just for starters.

So I was thinking about the really memorable moms in movies. The great moms, the nutty moms, and the struggling moms.

Here is a list of nine.

Perhaps you can come up with #10 for me.

 
1. Sally Field as M’Lynn Eatenton in Steel Magnolias.

M’Lynn protects.
She loves.
Her heart breaks.
And she goes on. Like mommas do.

“I find it amusing. Men are supposed to be made out of steel or something. I just sat there. I just held Shelby’s hand. There was no noise, no tremble, just peace. Oh god. I realize as a woman how lucky I am. I was there when that wonderful creature drifted into my life and I was there when she drifted out. It was the most precious moment of my life.” ~M’Lynn

 
 
 
2. Shirley MacLaine as Aurora Greenway in Terms of Endearment

Aurora is a narcissist.
She is not such a nice mom.
She is hilarious.
She is, in the end, the best.

“You are not special enough to overcome a bad marriage.” ~Aurora Greenway to her daughter, Emma

“It’s past ten. My daughter is in pain. I don’t understand why she has to have this pain. All she has to do is hold out until ten, and IT’S PAST TEN! My daughter is in pain, can’t you understand that! GIVE MY DAUGHTER THE SHOT!” ~ Aurora

If you have not seen this movie. You simply must.

It is beautifully written and acted.

 
 
 
3. Toni Collette as Lynn Sear in Sixth Sense

Toni is a loving mom, a struggling mom.
Her boy is in trouble and she doesn’t know how to help him.
Toni is lovely in this part.

” Do… Do I make her proud?” ~Lynn

Yup. You know that part. It is heartbreaking and profound.

 
 
 
4. Meryl Streep as Joanna Kramer in Kramer vs. Kramer

Granted this movie is mostly about a dad (Dustin Hoffman) and his son (Billy) after his wife has left him to find herself.
Yet. Meryl is memorable. She is many women who struggle with motherhood. She is confused and trying to find her way. She is not very likable most of the time. But I think she is pretty darn real.

“I woke up this morning, kept thinking about Billy and I was thinking about him waking up in his room with his little clouds all around that I painted and I thought I should have painted clouds downtown because then he would think that he was waking up at home. I came here to take my son home. And I realized he already is home.” ~Joanna Kramer

 
 
 
5. Cher as Rusty Dennis in Mask

Cher is a tough biker chic momma in this film.
She has a son with a massive facial skull deformity.
She is imperfect. She has a foul mouth and drinks too much.
I love her anyway.

6. Barbara Stanwyck as Stella Dallas in Stella Dallas

Stella is a poor girl who marries a man from the upper class.
They have a lovely daughter. Stella can’t seem to adjust to her hubby’s finer ways.
She raises her daughter with love but her daughter is shunned due to Stella’s lowbrow friends.
Laurel enjoys her visits with her daddy very much and Stella decides Laurel would be better off with him.

Stella is a wonderful momma.

She does what all mother’s do, she sacrifices for her child.

 
 
 
7. Mary Tyler Moore as Beth Jarrett in Ordinary People

Beth is the tragic figure in this ‘play’.
Her heart is cold. She has stopped feeling.
It is actually painful for me to watch her.
(It is suppose to be)

A brilliant character study of a mom who copes with tragedy in a not so unusual way.

There are not a lot of movies made with characters like this and I say well done Robert Redford and the whole crew behind Ordinary People.

Cal Jarrett: He just wants to know that you don’t hate him.
Beth: Hate him! How could I hate him? Mothers don’t hate their sons! Is that what he told you? You see how you believe everything he says with no question and you can’t do the same for me? GOD I DON’T KNOW WHAT ANYONE WANTS FROM ME ANYMORE!
Ward: Beth, we don’t want anything from you; Audrey, Cal, Connie and Me, we just want you to be happy.
Beth: Happy! Ward, you tell me the definition of happy. But first you better make sure your kids are good and safe, that they haven’t fallen of a horse, been hit by a car, or drowned in that swimming pool you’re so proud of!
Audrey: Oh Beth!
Beth: Then, you come and tell me how to be happy!

 
 
 
8. Mary Steenburgen and Dianne Wiest as Karen and Helen Buckman in Parenthood (1989)

Mary and Dianne are sisters in the wonderful, perfect, hilarious movie. Parenthood is the most perfect comedy of all time. There. I said it. It’s my favorite. Nearly every line is smack dab ‘on’.

Karen happens to love the roller coaster.
Helen peed in a field at Woodstock.

They are both hilarious and doing their very best to be good moms.

Karen: I happen to LIKE the roller coaster, okay? As far as I’m concerned, your grandmother is brilliant.
Gil: Yeah if she’s so brilliant why is she sitting in our NEIGHBOR’S CAR?

Helen finds pictures of her daughter Julie with her boyfriend. Sexy pictures.

Helen: I… I… I think this this one is my favorite.
Julie: It was just for fun Mom.
Helen: Well, I’m glad to know it’s not a job. That’s that Tod, isn’t it? There’s one with his face.
Julie: Is that what bothers you? That I did those things? Or that I did those things with Tod?
Helen: Gee whiz, Julie, so many things bother me about this, I don’t know where to separate them.

 
 
 
9. Alison Steadman as Mrs. Bennett in Pride and Prejudice (1995 mini-series)

I simply can not leave out Mrs. Bennett.
She is an embarrassing wreck.
She is memorable because so many of the things she says just makes me cringe.
She does not make things better for her girls, she makes them, quite often, worse.

But I bet there are a lot of Mrs. Bennett’s out there.
And sometimes I feel a bit like her myself.
It’s not a happy thought, indeed.

*****

So there they are, the moms who have left an impression my me.

I just know I have left some out.

Which mothers do you remember?

(Fondly or not so fondly?)

Can’t wait to read your answers!
Miz Booshay

In a high, green valley near the eastern border of Switzerland lies the tiny town of Davos, with a permanent population about the size of Auburn, California; Boone, Iowa; or Caribou, Maine.

Each year, for five days, Davos becomes the center of the world. Presidents and prime ministers, CEOs, billionaires and academics, their handlers, advisers and minions, all converge on Davos for the World Economic Forum.

A 40-year tradition, it has come to be known simply as “Davos,” bringing together the most powerful, the most insightful, the best and the brightest minds to focus on the thorniest problems of the world.

And each year, the Davos braintrust tackles a very special agenda dedicated to what it calls “X Factors” – emerging, global concerns “with profound but unknown consequences.”

In Oakland, California, some 6,000 miles away, in the less consequential world of breakfast, a middle-aged man recently sat at his kitchen table, scan-reading news of the mundane affairs of planet Earth: Kim and Kanye are expecting, it’s Kate Middleton’s birthday, Lindsey Lohan pleads Not Guilty.

My cat Marceline jumps in my lap. I spy a story about the 2013 Davos event. But I must be misreading it, I think to myself. I look it again. No, it’s right there. I spill some coffee. Marceline flees to the dining room, which is sunny, and quieter.

With neither my glasses on, nor contacts in, I reposition the laptop with both hands and move it THIS close to my face.

Top of mind for the premiere thinkers and powerbrokers of our time, it says right here, is the discovery of life elsewhere…as in ALIEN life.

“First Contact,” says the report, may be fewer than ten years away.

As the Kids Say, It’s ‘For Reals’

Maybe if you’re a Millennial or Generation Z or whatever they’re now calling people who are too young to have seen an actual network broadcast of Star Trek or Mork & Mindy or ALF, this isn’t a huge deal. An entire generation has grown up with the knowledge that there are many, many planets outside our solar system. Each year we discover more. It’s now estimated that the Milky Way may contain 17 billion – with a “B” – Earth-sized planets. That’s two Earth-sized worlds for every person, every human, alive today. Common knowledge, I guess, for any junior high kid.

The Davos agenda is prompted by the rapidly increasing number of planets in the “Goldilocks Zone” – the not-too-hot, not-too-cold, possibly habitable worlds, some of which may be Earth’s twins.

Three years ago NASA tasked its Kepler space telescope with searching for more of these worlds. Scanning only a tiny fraction of the night sky, Kepler located three such planets last month alone.

And so, say the thinkers and planners of Davos, it may only be a matter of time…

What will that day be like? I’m not a scientist or philosopher, but I spend a lot of time in front of the TV and in darkened theaters watching humankind welcome peaceful explorers and repel invading overlords, whichever the situation happens to call for. So I feel I’m as qualified as anyone to ponder this question. Here now are a handful of great portrayals in film and television of that extraordinary moment when our very special visitors arrive.

 
 
 
The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951)

If you travel with an eight-foot-tall metal robot who’s kinda hard to read but has the power to obliterate an entire planet, you’d probably want to agree on a simpler “safeword” than Klaatu Barada Nikto. But, thank Heavens, terrified single mom Helen Benson keeps her wits about her long enough to say it, and Earth is spared the unimaginable wrath of the galactic policeman called Gort. The Day the Earth Stood Still is simply one of the finest science fiction films of all time. (The 2008 Keanu version, not so much). Unfortunate Footnote – Fifteen years after this movie is released, the great British actor Michael Rennie once again portrays an alien, only this time in a dreadful “Lost in Space” episode in which he is a galactic zookeeper with bizarre Elvisesque sideburns.

 
 
 
Contact

I have discussed my affection for this movie at some length. Its inclusion here is more based on the realism – if such a word can be used in relation to an event so outside human experience – it brings to the first encounter between Earth and and the greater galactic community. Based on the novel by the late astronomer Carl Sagan, Contact acknowledges all of the things we likely could not grasp around the means and motives of a vastly advanced race. And the obstacles of ignorance, denial and Earthly politics that would likely impede those of us who simply want to know.

 
 
 
Starman

Starman is the 1984 film in which a marooned alien takes the form of a plaid-shirted guy from Chequamegon Bay, Wisconsin, named Scott Hayden. About a year and a half ago I introduced my just-turned-five-year-old son to this movie and he embraced it with a passion, up to and including creating his own Scott Hayden/Starman Halloween costume in an affectionate homage to Jeff Bridges’ spot-on performance. You can’t make this stuff up.

 
 
 
E.T.

I’m down with everything about E.T., absolutely love the little guy. This film is one of my Top Ten Summer Movies of All Time. Ever do the “E.T. Adventure!” Ride at Universal Studios? Worth it alone for the personal shout-out you get from the animatronic E.T. as you complete the ride (They feed your name into a computer as you enter). At once gratifying and slightly creepy as you whiz by on your flying bike and E.T. says “Good-bye Jimeeeee, Meeeeredith, Nathaniel, Hannah, Maaaaaaaaark.”

 
 
 
The Twilight Zone: “To Serve Man”

“Respectfully submitted for your perusal – a Kanamit. Height: a little over nine feet. Weight: in the neighborhood of three hundred and fifty pounds. Origin: unknown. Motives? Therein hangs the tale…”

Aliens arrive, promising peace, professing altruism, sharing technology. Government linguists try to translate their written language, using a book whose title they deduce is “To Serve Man.” The actor playing the imposing alien in this Twilight Zone episode is Richard Kiel, veteran of endless TV shows and films (“Jaws” in the ’80s James Bond movies). I met him a few years ago at a WonderCon convention in San Francisco; he’s quite chatty and polite, a very nice man now in his 70s who poses no actual threat to humanity. He agreed to a snapshot and I handed my camera to a passerby. Kiel whispers in my ear: “Right when the kid snaps the shutter, I’m gonna do a BIT.” And then I hear the ghoulish laugh as he gamefully pretends to choke me and twist my head off my torso. Pretty funny. Mostly.

 
 
 
It Came from Outer Space

Don’t be fooled by the schlocky title. Based on the Ray Bradbury tale of aliens crash-landing near the small village of Sand Rock, Arizona, this 1953 movie delivers. Just a darned entertaining story about writer and amateur astronomer John Putnam and schoolteacher gal-friend Ellen (“Miss Fields” to you, pal) who witness a strange craft in a smoldering crater supposedly made by a meteorite. He’s cruelly ridiculed by the townspeople, local newshounds and the sheriff (who carries a torch for Ellen, I mean Miss Fields) Something for everybody here, trust me.

 
 
 
Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Just to prove I was into Steven Spielberg’s landmark movie long before any of you, here’s a picture of me in my dorm room in 1978. Above my left shoulder is the original Close Encounters movie poster. It occupied prime wall space above my sweet Pioneer PL-530 turntable. (We spun thin vinyl disks on them, and they produced music; ask your mom about it). I don’t think it is an overstatement to say that Close Encounters changed the way Americans think about the possibility of life elsewhere, so compelling was the tale of Richard Dreyfuss’ Roy Neary, the everyman driven to find an answer to a riddle that grabbed his life and wouldn’t let go. In a sense, this movie was so good that it never let go of me, either. (Next time: my vacation snaps from Devil’s Tower. Wyoming).

 
 
 
Star Trek: “The City on the Edge of Forever”

Ostensibly a time-travel story, “The City on the Edge of Forever” is a literate and well constructed story of 23rd century space travelers seeking a lost crewmate in 1930s New York City. This much-lauded Star Trek episode was written by the science fiction novelist Harlan Ellison and is considered by many to be the best single episode of a series whose popularity and relevance endures some 50 years on. There’s a memorable scene in which the social worker-activist with whom Kirk has fallen in love (Joan Collins) insists that he and his odd companion, Mr. Spock, seem lost and out of place. “Let me help,” she insists. Kirk points to a faint star in Orion’s belt. “’Let me help’ – A hundred years or so from now, I believe, a famous novelist from a planet orbiting that star will write a classic using that theme. He’ll recommend those three words even over ‘I Love You.’”

 
 
 

So What Would it be Like?

How would we take the news that we’re not alone? I’d like to believe they would come not as conquerors (a possibility even Stephen Hawking has warned) but as emissaries. And I’d like to think that we’d somehow see beyond the petty, self-absorbed sense that we’ve been taken down a celestial peg or two.

Consider, of all the habitable worlds in the galaxy, Superman’s dad Jor-El sent his only son to Earth because of our capacity for good.
“They can be a great people, Kal-El. They wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way.”

There’s a very well done episode of the Star Trek: The Next Generation series from the 90s in which the leaders of a planet known as Malcoria III, a slightly more advanced version of our Earth, discover that the cosmos is teeming with intelligent life beyond their tiny planet. They’re given the choice of telling their people of this discovery, or of keeping it secret until the Malcorian race is a bit more mature. They choose the latter.

The supreme leader of Malcoria is processing aloud his conflicting emotions.

“I go home each night to a loving wife, two beautiful daughters. We eat the evening meal together as a family… And they always ask me if I’ve had a good day… I will have to say: This morning, I was the leader of the universe as I know it. This afternoon, I’m only a voice in a chorus.

“But I think it was a good day.”

Mark Spearman, a writer who lives in Oakland, California, loves unforgettable movies and great TV. A Midwest boy, Mark is a direct descendant of bold patriots of the American Revolution, yet understated enough to pass for a native Canadian. You can follow Mark Spearman on Twitter.

I loved it, and here’s why:

1. Robert Downey, Jr.

I said this to Marlboro Man about Robert Downey, Jr. yesterday: “He’s imperfect enough to be perfect in this role.”

No one else could play Tony Stark.

More on this in a bit.

2. Don Cheadle

I don’t think there’s anything Don Cheadle can’t do.

What I love about him is that he has this tenderness that he just can’t shed no matter what part he’s playing…or no matter how big his guns (biceps) are. In the case of Iron Man, it comes through both in his friendship with Tony and his protection of the president. He’s perfect.

3. Rebecca Hall

After watching The Town approximately 946 times in the past several months, I really didn’t need another reason to love Rebecca Hall. There’s just something about her I can’t stop watching. She has a goodness and an intensity that translates so well to the screen, and she’s so unconventionally beautiful it boggles the mind. I adore her and will watch any movie she’s in from here to eternity.

And she and Gwyneth both have freckles, which I love.

4. Gwyneth Paltrow

Oh, Gwynnie. You’re so elegant and gorgeous and composed, but in this installment you get thrown around and tortured and thrown into a fire and you never once fail to look like you’re absolutely in your element. Way to go.

I have no idea why I’m addressing you directly. Maybe because I have freckles, too. So see? We look exactly alike!

Or…not.

5. The Effects

I walked out of the theater feeling completely overwhelmed by the sheer scale and scope of this movie. Who makes a movie like this, with trillions of moving parts and explosions and visual effects? Who can execute such a thing? And why doesn’t it take a thousand years to finish? I just can’t wrap my head around it.

Needless to say, the special effects are something else.

6. The chemistry between Tony and Pepper

Tony Stark loves Pepper Potts and would kill and maim for her, but this doesn’t manifest itself in traditional expressions of love between the two. They banter and spar, and exchange a healthy amount of sarcastic dialog. But that’s what makes the love between them burn so bright: You don’t have to see Tony embrace Pepper, kiss her up and down, and smile as he brings her roses declares his undying love. You need only see the smoldering love in his eyes as he delivers one of his classic comebacks…and hers as she throws one right back to him.

7. Guy Pearce

I’ve loved him since L.A. Confidential, and even though he plays a nerd-turned-psychopath who wants to rain down terror the United States, his performance is just off-the-charts good. He just gets better and better.

8. Gwyneth Paltrow’s abs

When my family and I walked out of the theater after the movie, Marlboro Man asked me where I wanted to eat. I said, “Nowhere, ever, because I must have Gwyneth’s abs.”

They’re very hard and a little ridiculous, and I won’t rest until I have them.

9. Rebecca Hall’s lips

They should be illegal.

10. Robert Downey, Jr.

I’m sorry, but he deserves an additional spot on the list. Robert Downey, Jr. inhabits this role. He becomes Tony Stark. And yes, he’s perfect in just about every movie, but I can’t remember being more moved by a Robert Downey, Jr. role since Less Than Zero over 25 years ago. His sheer performance is spot-on without anything else entering into the mix…but I can’t help but also factor in his own struggles and demons while watching. I don’t think there’s an actor who could play Tony Stark better, taking into account sheer acting ability, intensity, and personal experience. And it makes me realize that an actor shouldn’t only consider his more cerebral or independent roles to be the ones that define him.

That’s it!

I’m ready to see it again!

Normally I don’t pay a whole lot of attention when a book is adapted into a movie. I usually assume from the get-go that the book will be far superior, and for whatever reason, I enjoy holding on to the way I imagine the people and places in a novel way more than I enjoy seeing a director’s vision.

But you know what they say: there’s an exception to every rule.

And the current exception to my stick-with-the-book rule?

The Great Gatsby.

Because OH, Y’ALL. I cannot wait to see it. I’m just as excited as I can be.

Here’s why.

The Great Gatsby, written by F. Scott Fitzgerald, is one of my all-time favorite books, mainly because it hinges on the premise that the characters have everything they could possibly want and nothing that they really need. Whether you’re a Fitzgerald fan or not, there’s something intriguing about watching people (even if they’re pretend people) who seem to have every external trapping of success – but who are as empty as broken egg shells in all the ways that really matter.

So whether it’s Gatsby’s fixation on what he wants but can’t have, Tom’s arrogant sense of entitlement, or Daisy’s sometimes shortsighted and shallow approach to life, The Great Gatsby provides glimpses into some of the ugliest, most destructive aspects of human nature. But here’s what’s so brilliant: in his most famous book, Fitzgerald created characters that pop off the page as mirrors for our own hearts and minds, and even as we read and occasionally shake our heads, we’re bound to feel convicted about the times when we’ve pretended to be someone we’re not or chased after all the wrong things.

Now that this book that I adore has been turned into a movie (again), I can’t wait to see how Baz Luhrmann’s treatment differs from the 1974 adaptation as well as Fitzgerald’s novel. I’m curious about so many things, but here are the main five.

1) The sets

In the trailer for the movie, Gatsby’s West Egg mansion looks enormous, ornate, and ostentatious. By the same token, Tom and Daisy’s East Egg manor appears stately, refined, and just a little bit cold (symbolic much?). I can’t wait to see if the interiors resemble the descriptions in the book – and if the set designer incorporated some of the novel’s colors, too.

2) The parties

The book describes Gatsby’s parties as so lavish that he served two dinners a night – not to mention that the live music was courtesy of a full orchestra. It’ll be interesting to see the parties from Luhrmann’s perspective; I keep picturing Moulin Rouge crossed with Art Deco crossed with flappers. Should be interesting.

3) The soundtrack

Now granted, the soundtrack isn’t exactly a part of the script, but it’ll play a huge role in setting the tone and pace of the film. Just looking at the wide variety of artists listed on the soundtrack makes me think that the music is going to be edgy, diverse, and a big departure from what we might typically expect from a movie set in the 1920s. I have certainly never heard strains of Fergie or Jay Z when I’ve read the book, but the soundtrack is one area where something totally unexpected could be a really good addition.

4) The iconic scenes

There are certain parts of the book that Fitzgerald wrote so vividly that it’s easy to assume that the way we picture those scenes in our heads is common to everyone. Given that, I can’t help but wonder how Luhrmann staged the meeting between Gatsby and Daisy at Nick’s house – will it look like a florist? Will Gatsby be as awkward as he is in the book? Or what about the argument in the sweltering hotel room? The car rides through the Valley of Ashes?

5) The chemistry between Gatsby and Daisy

If there’s one relationship in this movie that needs to be believable in order for the movie to succeed, it’s the relationship between Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio) and Daisy (Carey Mulligan). There has to be a spark there, but more than anything, I think, there has to be a genuine tenderness. I’ll be the first to admit that I tend to have A Lot Of Thoughts where Daisy is concerned – especially considering how Fitzgerald portrays her in the second half of the book – but I’d really like to root for her in the movie. We’ll see, I reckon.

I’m not much of an opening weekend person as far as movies go, but I am definitely planning to be at the theatre the weekend of May 10th. And since the movie is in 3D (a seemingly odd choice, I’ll admit), I reckon I’ll be wearing some sassy 3D glasses, too.

What about y’all? Are any of you looking forward to this new version of The Great Gatsby, too?