I’d like to say it is a James thing, but it started a long time ago. (Even before Little Man, I think, but who can really remember back that far?) And it didn’t change in the brief period when Little Man had gone but before James arrived.

I like being at home. I like taking a nap when I am tired. I like not getting out of my pjs if I don’t feel like it. Where did my ambition go? Once upon a time I was going to change the world…

I know, I sound depressed… but I’m not. I’m content. I’m enjoying the quiet. I’m not missing the rat race. The politics I once loved – when I lived in DC – I often find tedious now (probably because I see no hope of the current political dynamic changing – and until it does, we’ll be going nowhere fast, IMHO).

I wish I was being more productive than I am. I also wish I was a better friend to my friends ‘cause I really do like them and enjoy their company. Of course, it is complicated by the fact that some of my best friends (I don’t have just one) live in faraway places (like Virginia and Ohio) and my family – who I’m happy to say I think of as friends – are all far off too. I’ve talked about getting a web cam or Skyping but inertia has taken over there as well.

And now that I do have James, I at least have a decent excuse to some extent. He does keep me busy and we do have fun – even if it is in our pjs some days!  And it’s hard to mesh nap times and meal times with, I dunno, real life and leaving the house. It just feels easier to stay put than to pack up, head out, find a place to nurse when we need to, have the cooler bag with food and a back up bottle (if we’re lucky enough to have one that day), hope that he naps on  the go, etc.

Thankfully I have understanding friends… but at some point I feel like I am going to exceed their understanding and good will. And yet, I nap rather than return calls. I check my Facebook or throw in some laundry or do a few dishes, rather than be a friend. Am I stupid? I’ve never thought of myself as the self-absorbed sort… yet here I am.

So if any of my friends are out there and reading this… I do love you. I do appreciate your presence in my life. And when I dig out of my myopic hole, I hope you’ll still be there – but I understand if your life has moved on too. I assume this phase will pass but I appreciate your patience while I’m here.

These are in no particular order…

1. Laughter. We do a lot of this and its beautiful. And we can make a funny story out of the worst of times…

2. Blended. We have added two spouses (four if you count Loon & Susan’s hubbies) and all have been great additions. I tend to think of them as “old shoes,” you know – comfortable, that fit right in. (Not the most glamorous description but I hope it’s understood as the compliment it is meant to be.)

3. Close. It confuses lots of people that Loon and Susan, though they are our cousins, feel more like sisters and we refer to their children as our nieces and nephews, ’cause that’s how we love them. It also weirds people out that I refer to Jen as my sister instead of as my SIL. No law is required. She was a cool addition and is now simply one of us. Distance also does not matter… we may be spread half way across the country but we keep in touch (the blog helps!) each in our own way.

4. Loyal/protective. The one story that stands out in my mind goes back more than a decade… I never really thought of my big brother as the “protective type,” but when my car was stolen and I showed up at his office in tears after the car was “repaired” to borrow his club (remember them?!), he was so sweet.  He offered to buy me a new car – that day, and he was serious. And while this was something neither of us could actually afford, and something we didn’t do, it still means a great deal to me that he tried so hard in that moment to take care of me. (This wasn’t an isolated incident, btw, just a good example.)

5. Fun. We have lots of it. And I like to think we are welcoming and a joy to be around (most of the time anyway). For sure, we aren’t dull!

6. Discussion/debate. My father used to say, “Why let the facts get in the way of a good story?” If you couldn’t hold your own at the Heffern family dinner table you didn’t last long. And if everyone came to agreement too quickly, you can bet someone would take an extreme contrarian viewpoint just to keep conversation going. So much fun.

7. Intellect. This goes hand in hand with no. 6. We are a family of curious minds, useless/random facts, and book worms. I find that neat. We challenge each other and sharpen each other.

8. Low maintenance. I love that our family of five shared one bathroom growing up. Perhaps this is why both Sarah and I would have to add 20 minutes to our morning routine to hit a half-hour! And Jen fits right in here too [remember, old shoe]  This continues to be true as we pile five or six more people into Brian & Jen’s house at Christmas to enjoy family time!

9. Predictable. This is not always a prized trait but there is something comfortable in familiarity.  We like horse racing. We’ll be in Saratoga in August. We like the beach. We love hockey. Dad rinsed dishes, Mom just stuffed them in the machine – they’d “discuss” it every night after dinner. Good times.

10. Celebrations. Hefferns like to party, and the holiday / occasion starts whenever and wherever we gather.  Early Thanksgiving has become a thing for us – its cheaper to fly and a lot less hassle making it more fun.  We have family picnics in June or July and gather up as many of us from across our six states + DC as possible. We fly to Chicago for birthdays… whatever it takes. And the food that accompanies our celebrations is delish (tenderloins on the grill, cakes/cookies/and pies, some Little Venice for good measure, etc.)

Writing this makes me want to hop a plane to Virginia… love you guys!

April has been the month of post-baby James tests and check ups for Mama.  Today was neurology.  After 6 MRI’s (brain, c-spine, and full spine – with and without contrast) my scans were pronounced “unremarkable” with “no acute activity” in the brain.  I’ve never been so happy to be pronounced boring and dumb in my life

What that really means twofold. (1) There are no new lesions and (2) because the Copaxone (medicine) has been so effective at stopping new disease from occurring my body has had time to heal itself, as in the old lesions are going away!!!  That’s the best news and we are thrilled!

Going forward I will need to keep taking my meds and check in with the doc in 18 months to 2 years.  How cool is that?

The other check-ups with the OB and endocrinologist went well also.  One set of labs showed high liver enzymes, which will need follow-up, but are most likely due to that baby weight that is still hanging on (sigh), so fewer carbs and more exercise should hopefully do the trick.  If nothing else, it will help me get back into my closet as I have few outfits that work at the moment

In other news…

• Sarah came back from celebrating her birthday sick
• James cut his first tooth Monday (bottom center)
• James is scooting/crawling
• James is talking and laughing a lot more. We’ve discovered he’s actually quite ticklish
• The Caps start their playoff trek tonight at the Verizon Center against the NY Rangers.  Let’s go Caps!!

We celebrated my boring dumbness with gelato…the weight loss regimen can start tomorrow! Here’s to hoping your Wednesday was/is as wonderful as ours!

Yesterday was James six month birthday – but I held off on writing this celebratory update until after his pediatrician appointment this morning so I could provide all the statistical information I know you are dying to read (ha ha!).

It appears James has peaked, at least for now, on the weight scale.  Actually he peaked at 2 months, when he “achieved” the 82nd percentile for weight.  He currently tips the scales at almost 18 pounds (technically 17 lbs., 14 oz) which is the 58th percentile. And not to brag, but that is all on Mama’s (whole) milk and nothin else! (In celebration of six months and today’s weigh in James will be enjoying his first bowl of organic brown rice cereal for dinner!)

But that’s not all…our little munchkin is in the 95th percentile for height, or length – not sure which it is.  He has been working his way up from the 79th percentile at 2 weeks.  And as our title today suggests, the actual measurement is 2 feet 4.25 inches (it sounds more impressive written out that way, doesn’t it?)!

The pediatrician pronounced him to be in fine health.  He really is doing great.  Drooling up a storm and chewing everything – so the teeth must be coming one of these days.  His toes are a favorite teething toy.  He sits up well (though he still needs a pillow behind cause he likes to bounce backward for fun).  He is also working hard to crawl, and can traverse several feet in just a few minutes by rolling, spinning and wiggling, so once we get the knees and arms coordinated we are in for it big time!  And though he babbles adorably, he really only has one discernable word and that is “Ma” and no I am not making that up!

[Check back in a couple hours when I have had a chance to dump the cameras and I'll add a 6 month picture or two. One of these days we'll have to hit the portrait studio!]

Chillin on the floor 3-30-11.

My favorite snack...if only we could all be so flexible!

Mama couldn't help herself at the docs office today...I just looked too cute!

Checkin out my awesome physique and my stance. Ready, set...go?

Thanks for listening to me gush about our sweet baby James.  I can’t believe he is already six months old.  They’ve been an awesome six months – I can’t wait for the next six!!

PS. For those wondering how Mama is doing with the MS post-pregnancy, I am thrilled to report we made it through the statistically worst period for exacerbations with no issues what-so-ever.  I feel great and am so grateful to be able to type those words.

2. This same period occasionally affords an opportunity to hang dry clothes outside, which I also adore.

3. The arrival of Robins, Cardinals & Bluejays.

4. The ability to engage in all manner of outdoor activities without sweating to death – walks, play in the park, hang on the beach, etc.

James first trip to the beach last week for spring break (with his cousins visiting from MN).

5. Spring in Houston is synonymous with rodeo. While there is very little in Texas that I have taken to, I do really enjoy bull riding, mutton busting, and a good calf scramble. It’s become a bit of a March tradition. Even Sarah has gotten in on the goodness!

6. If it’s spring, it’s time for post-season hockey. Let’s go CAPS!!

7. This spring, like last, has involved learning how to sit up, scoot, and crawl as well as teething. It’s fun (and a bit sad) to watch our munchkins grow so fast. But we’re ever more grateful that with James there is no fear of missing every milestone.

8. I too love more daylight hours and despise daylight savings time.

9. Azaleas are in bloom and Texas bluebonnets are next. Keep an eye out for pictures in the next couple weeks.

10. Girl Scout Cookies! Do-si-dos and Samoas please!

I know I’ve seen Les Mis twice, perhaps three times (man, I wish my memory actually worked!). Now I’ve never read Hugo’s novel – its length is too daunting – but I feel like I know the story, or at least part of it. And with a few prompters I think I could sing 90% of the score of Les Mis. Its just such a beautiful score. And the staging was magnificent, groundbreaking in its day!

I like to think I’ve seen my fair share on Broadway – I’ve been blessed in this arena…Cats, Phantom of the Opera, Chicago, (the revival of) A Chorus Line, Big River (two different stagings) and Spamalot (what a waste of Broadway time)…Grease, Lion King and Brigadoon in Houston. I  know there are more, but there’s that memory again.  But for me its always been Les Mis.

Thanks PBS for a fantastic evening of singing.  I think James is going to have his first week of showtunes…I’ve neglected this aspect of his education for too long.  “Do you hear the people sing…?”

Today’s picture comes from mid-February 2002, at our engagement party/couples shower thrown by my favorite DC ladies.

Eileen, Mary Beth, Jen & Sarah

I will say, my first task was figuring out the actual date of the photo.  The computer says 2-19-00, which I was going to go with, until I realized that we weren’t dating then, let alone engaged! So looking at the pictures by number before and after, I was able to see that calendar was set wrong way back when. The party was March 16, 2002.

Anyway, our party was international themed (as was everything in my life back then).  The cake came with a dozen or so flags (including the Kenyan flag as I was preparing for a business trip to Kenya at the time). I think I may still have those flags somewhere

Mary Beth and Ed hosted at their new house. Knowing me, I banned all games – or maybe I just blocked them from my memory. (I found the invitation in the album referred to below…everyone was asked to bring a recipe.  That sounds like me!) In any case, there was artwork, an album filled with childhood photos, the requisite lingerie (to embarrass Chris), a waffle maker (which is still used), and much much more.

Mostly I’m marveling at how well we all looked back  then (and how skinny, especially Jen!).  I’m also realizing that I still own both the top and pants I’m wearing the picture…and I’m thinking that’s not good?.

Before I go, I’d also like to note that the timing of finding this photo is excellent as I was looking for a Mary Beth picture – since her birthday is this coming Sunday.  Happy Birthday sweet friend.  I miss you tons but am truly blessed by your friendship!

***

Do you have photos from your past that you’re willing to share – and a blog to post them on? Play along with Wayback Wednesday by linking back to this post or sharing in the comments so we can snoop into your past, too!

We had an awesome weekend.  David thoroughly enjoyed playing with Baby James and was sweet and gentle towards him.  David will be an awesome big brother.  I’ll let the pictures tell the story of the mischief the boys hath made

Day 1

David driving Lightning McQueen around James head.

We've switched places...having fun.

The boys took to each other instantly and enjoyed each others company thoroughly.  They also enjoyed an evening with buddies Noah and Braedan watching “Cars” while their parents sat around the dining room table catching up – just like the old days (but with more kiddos running around!)

Day 2 – We were too busy chasing boys, socializing, and preparing for Sunday’s post-baptism party to remember to take pictures!

Amy and I started the day at Buffalo Grille with some girlfriends while Ben and Chris enjoyed beignets at Crescent City.  Mom babysat (thanks Mom!).

Anyway, we had a great day…I’ll post our hors d’oeuvres party menu in another post.  If I may say so, we had a great spread!

Of course no party prep/company-in-town weekend is complete without a melt down.  This past weekends was supplied by yours truly.  Long story short, I remembered we needed to pick up our order of 7 dozen petit-fours from the bakery 30 minutes after they had closed. (They tried to call four times prior to closing but apparently the ringer was off!).  Anyway, the clerk had called from her cell and thankfully answered when I called frantically at 5:30. Chris jumped in the car and retrieved them from the manager, who was closing up. Crisis averted.

If you are ever in Houston, check out Moeller’s Bakery.  They’re awesome people, and their confections are awesome too!

Day 3 – We managed to get 5 adults and 2 kiddos out the door at the appointed hour (10am); got to church and set up for the party (with help from some fantastic folks) and got James dressed in his christening gown – which was lovingly hand-made by my friend Elizabeth. (Yes, he wore a dress…our hope is that our grandchildren might wear it also…someday.)

In our service, baptisms take place after the sermon and before communion.  James was a model participant.

Everyone gathered for the baptism.

Reverend Reagan got him good…

Here it comes...

Splish Splash!

Chris accused him of attempting to water board sweet baby James – I thought it looked more like a good old-fashioned Baptist dunking. Either way, James took it like a man.  No tears. No crying. Perhaps a little startled but…no harm done.

Family photo...Chris's parents and Grandma, and Mom (aka Grandma Mary)

James with God parents - Amy, lil David, & Ben

After the service we partied in the parlor…I should say everyone but James partied.  He slept through the first half in his car seat, kind of like a center piece on the sofa

And Sunday night Mom babysat again so Ben & Amy and Chris & I could go on a double date that involved two of our favorite Houston spots – Empire Cafe and Paciugo (gelato!).

Day 4 – All good things must come to an end and it was time for our friends to head to the airport…it was sweet watching our boys playing on the floor one last time (for this visit)

Buddies chillin on the floor...

And after the dust settled, James relaxed on his lamb blanket, looking adorable as always.

So grateful to have this little lamb to hold up my tired head...

It was a great weekend.  We feel so totally blessed.

[I miss Ben, Amy & David just writing this post, but that is the best thing about true friendship...it endures time and distance and life-is-what-happens-when-you-make-other-plans.  Thanks so much guys for going to the expense, and exhaustion, and taking the time to come share a perfect weekend with us.  We'll see you in Dayton before you know it!]

(Sarah here: because I’m the owner of the blog and can see everything Eileen writes before she posts it, I’ve gone in and added some answers and additional peeves. I’m in bold parentheses. The rest is Eileen.)

I’ll start with the combination technophobe / paranoid question:

“As of today, the New FB Privacy setting called “Instant Personalization” goes into effect. The new setting shares your data with non-Facebook websites & it is automatically set to “Enable”. Go to Account>Privacy Settings>Apps & Websites>Instant Personalization>Edit Settings and uncheck “Enable”. BTW, if your friends don’t do this, they will be sharing info about you as well. Please copy and repost.”

How do you know which of these regular hysterical “you really must do this to protect your privacy things” are true and which are hoaxes – especially when you don’t want to waste tons of time googling or researching each one? If I believe what I have peripherally seen, the one about seeing who was viewing your page was a hoax, but the one above may be true? Perhaps the bigger question is here – should I really care?

(You can ignore 99.9% of these. The easiest way to know what’s actually happening on Facebook is to “like” their fan page, so you’ll see official updates. And if you want to check beyond that, look at a site like Mashable, one of the biggest social media blogs. If there’s anything suspicious going on at FB, they’ll tell you.)

Then there is the issue of birthdays… I’m not big on birthdays – for grown-ups, that is – but of course Facebook tells you when everyone’s birthday is (that is, if you are looking from an actual computer – I don’t see it on the iPhone, but then again I’ve not looked too hard for it either).  Anyway, I rarely, if ever, wish people happy birthday via Facebook. I used to try, and now I just don’t. I feel like if you’re someone I’d call/email or otherwise personally wish a happy birthday, then I probably have, and if I wouldn’t make a point to write it on my calendar – or just remember – and call, then…I dunno…why bother? What do you do? And why (or why not)?

(I love birthdays and love getting b-day wishes, Facebook or otherwise, but if you’re uncomfortable with it, don’t do it. I’d recommend being consistent, and either always doing it or always not – less chance of hurt feelings that way. In other words, don’t be like me. I’m incredibly inconsistent.)

This one is probably obvious, but one of my FB friends (an old acquaintance I haven’t seen in 8-10 years) wrote this on his FB page recently “…this guy should just head out back and get it over with…” I was, and am, appalled. I also want to unfriend him – tell him what an ass I think he is. (In my opinion, there is no circumstance on this earth that can justify advocating someone commit suicide.) But I don’t think he’d care, and I’m not sure the rest of the world would either. So should I just unfriend without comment? What would  you do?

(Unfriend. Don’t engage. If he calls you on it, tell him he’s said things that make you uncomfortable and leave it at that. And then block him. I can talk you through this.)

Lastly, there is my personal favorite pet peeve of FB: The let me pontificate, then say how no one else will copy and paste this as their status for at least one+ hour to stand in solidarity with my injustice or cause of the day.  For example:

“DEPRESSION is not a sign of weakness it is a sign that you have been trying to be strong for too long. Put this as your status if you know someone who has or had depression. Will you do it and leave it on your status for at least an hour? Most people won’t, but it’s mental health week and 1 in 3 of us will suffer it some point in our lives”

Or the slightly less obnoxious version:

“True friends can go long periods of time without speaking and never question their friendship. They can pick up like they just spoke yesterday, regardless of how long it has been……REPOST if you are lucky enough to have at least one true friend…”

I hate these with a deep-seated passion, and even if I wholeheartedly support your cause – like depression screening/treatment – I refuse to copy and paste your dumb old status as my own, thereby insulting everyone I know. (Most people won’t? That’s a great way to win people to your cause! And if they do, what really are they accomplishing?) Am I the only one who feels this way? Have I missed something?

(Yup. Not a fan either. Also don’t like the faux-awareness campaigns like the bra color or purse location thing that have run around, supposedly to raise awareness of breast cancer. They don’t raise awareness – or, more importantly, money – they just trivialize and sexualize a disease that’s neither trivial or sexy.)

Oops, there is one more…I don’t do Twitter, and I don’t read Twitter feeds as a rule. I don’t get them. It’s like they are written in some code that only the cool kids get with all there cross references and hash marks. Perhaps that says more about me than anything else (never was one of the “cool kids”) but am I the only one who feels this way?

(I’ve been meaning to write a post demystifying Twitter for you – and anyone else who needs it – but just haven’t gotten around to it. I’ll do it soon, promise. If there are questions out there that Eileen didn’t raise, leave ‘em in the comments.)

I feel like I have just channeled the very best of my Luddite dad. You’d think I was an septuagenarian and not a thirty-something, but there it is.

What are your social media pet peeves?

We estimate his weight to be 16-17 pounds and he is 26-27 inches long!  He chats (when not sucking on his paci*) and says something that sounds an awful lot like “Ma” which pleases me to no end.

He is very expressive with his HUGE smiles and twinkling massive blue eyes.

This is our happy boy. Bright eyed and grinning.

Getting ready for a ride, wearing my awesome hat by Auntie Sarah.

He even has hints of a dimple.  James laughs, although not that often yet.

He will hold your hand, well finger, and grab long hair.

A double hand hold, lest one should get away.

He rolls every which way and has the most adorable tummy posture, which I have dubbed “up periscope” cause well, that’s what it looks like to me (see the picture with the hat above).

[if I can figure out how to load a video clip here, you'll get to see him]

He is even sitting up (you have to place him in the seated position – but he can hold it for over a minute!).

James sitting up, watching the Steelers game.

My girlfriends warned me that I’d go stir crazy in the beginning during those weeks we were inclined to stay home to keep him germ free.  But I must confess, I loved those weeks and am still operating on hibernate mode as often as possible.  I don’t mean to be anti-social, but I am so in love with being James’s mom and I just love holding him while he sleeps, nursing him, snuggling him, and watching his every move.

I’m told that I should enjoy these moments, cause I won’t catch as many of them with a #2 or #3 (because I’ll be trying to keep pace with James of course)…so I am just relishing each moment and neglecting my friends (sorry!), my house (yes, the Christmas tree is still up – but I closed the curtains and turned the lights off so my neighbors won’t think me a freak!), and blogging (but I do Facebook updates, which I plan to use as reminders when building James’s baby book).

There is so much more to say, but he just woke up from his nap and is squeaking in his crib.  Gotta run!

Update: James never ceases to amaze me.  I went to give him a bottle tonight (his appetite exceeded what was immediately available) and my big boy just reached up, put his hands firmly on either side of the bottle and pulled it into his mouth.  Um, hello, who taught you that?  He maybe has 4 bottles a week…his tricks just never seem to end!

* On the paci…James actually prefers his hand – not thumb, or fingers, but the whole hand…to the point where he gags himself and throws up.  He was coming dangerously close to bulimic baby status, so we opted to try to addict him to the paci.  We’re having mixed results but we have cut way down on the purging.

I also didn’t get to gush earlier about how generally happy our boy is.  He is just so calm and content. We are truly blessed to have such a good little sleeper, and eater with a sweet demeanor.  (There are exceptions, of course, like this afternoon when he was unhappy about something – though I don’t know what. But after a good nap, he was right back to his happy-go-lucky little self.)

I’ll stop writing for today, but can’t promise not to gush in another post.  I do hope I can figure out why the video won’t upload…it’s cute (at least to me) and it’s always a good pick me up if you’re having a bad day.