Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and Quick Stop Entertainment’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at Quick Stop. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #122: Turkey Daze - Ken & Dana return with a pre-holiday free-for-all that winds up fixated on brining. And other stuff, of course, but still - lots of brining. And potatoes.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #122 (MP3 format) – 64.59 MB

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Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

##

The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide - your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

(Please support Quick Stop by using the links below to make any impulse purchases - it helps to keep us going…)

I admit, I went into JJ Abrams’ reboot of Star Trek (Paramount, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP) not wanting to like it, based on my less than enthusiastic view of Abrams’ previous work and a healthy level of fondness for Trek (when it was done right - not in the crap Berman/Braga/Voyager/Enterprise/latter-day films era). So yes, I had to be won over to the whole reboot-in-continuity thing, and I must say - overall, I *was* won over. I still think that wrapping it all in the flag of Nimoy’s Spock was a bit half-assed (and don’t get me started on the design, particularly that engine room lifted from the RMS Titanic), but there was enough fun and energy amongst most of the story and the majority of the cast that I got swept along. Regardless of my qualms, on a technical level, the Blu-Ray does look and sound pretty damn snazzy, and is made to show off your home theater system. Bonus materials include 30 behind-the-scenes featurettes, an audio commentary, deleted scenes, a gag reel, and a Blu-Ray exclusive 360-degree tour of the Enterprise and the Narada.

Another in the long line of comedy gems cancelled way too soon, Shout has given a nice, comprehensive special edition collection to Andy Barker, PI (Shout! Factory, Not Rated, DVD-$24.99 SRP). Co-created by Conan O’Brien and starring Andy Richter as a mild-mannered accountant who finds himself thrust into the shady world of private investigation, it’s a must-see piece of funny whose six episodes are just a sweet taste of what could have been. Bonus features include audio commentaries, a pair of featurettes, and a gag reel.

Including JJ Abrams reboot, I still stand by my assessment that Galaxy Quest (Paramount, Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$29.99 SRP) is the best modern Star Trek film there is. Its parody is from a perspective of love for not only the high-flying adventure of the original Trek, but also the larger-than-life actors that brought it to life. This new high definition edition contains behind-the-scenes featurettes, deleted scenes, a Thermian audio track, and the theatrical trailer.

Though he’s been painted with a “grim” and “dense” brush, you’ll realize within a few pages of the Tom Strong Deluxe Edition: Volume 1 (DC Comics, $39.99 SRP) that Alan Moore really does love the silver age of comics, and this is his (along with artist Chris Sprouse) energetic, and downright fun, tale of the greatest hero of the 20th century. This is a beautiful, hardcover presentation, and I look forward to the other two volumes collecting the first 12 issues of the series.

For the 10th anniversary of Sandman - waaaaay back in 1999 - Neil Gaiman teamed with P. Craig Russell and Japanese artist Yoshitaka Amano for a unique, beautiful tale featuring the King of All Night’s Dreaming, and the result was The Dream Hunters (Vertigo, $24.99 SRP). Now, 10 years after its original release, it’s gotten a facelift and re-release with bonus covers and sketches.

The high-def brigade has struck again, delivering a trio of Kevin Smith flicks into the single, aptly-titled Kevin Smith 3-Movie Collection (Miramax, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$89.99 SRP), collecting the extant Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back with brand-new special editions of Clerks & Chasing Amy, contains new featurettes and audio commentaries. The real gem of the set is the feature-length documentary Tracing Amy, which upholds the tradition of stellar behind-the-scenes looks into the View Askewniverse. So yes - get this.

It’s not the animated Batman, but I’ve been enjoying the animated adventures of ol’ webhead, the latest collection of which is now available as Spectacular Spider-Man: Volume Five (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$19.94 SRP). The disc contains a quartet of episodes, but sadly no bonus features.

Though some might consider the 22 shorts contained in The Three Stooges Collection Volume 7: 1952-1954 (Sony, Not Rated, DVD-$24.96 SRP) to be lesser lights from Shemp’s tenure (he suffered a minor stroke in late 1952 which some claim slowed him down, and the budgets of the latter-day Stooge shorts were drastically cut), there’s still plenty of comedy to be had in this penultimate set. Take a gander for yourself.

It’s not as polished or memorable as his early 70’s work, but the seeds were clearly planted in the eponymous debut album David Bowie (EMI, $24.98 SRP), with its iconic opening track “Space Oddity”. The new, fully remastered 2-disc set contains a slew of bonus material, including demos and alternate takes.

I thought it was a pretty good gimmick flick when it first came out, but I don’t find Fincher’s Fight Club (Fox, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$34.99 SRP) holds up to repeat viewings. Still, it’s a beautifully shot movie, which really shines in high definition. And for fans, there’s quite a surprise on the new Blu-Ray edition, which also includes audio commentaries, featurettes, deleted/alternate scenes, trailers, TV spots, PSAs, galleries, and a music video.

I’d like to say that Sacha Baron Cohen does it again with Bruno (Universal, Rated R, Blu-Ray-$39.98 SRP), but I found the style that served Borat so well to wear thin with the far more grating titular character. It’s a shame, because some of the scenarios Cohen drops the character into are stronger than those in Borat. Bonus features include deleted/alternative scenes and an interview with Lloyd Robinson.

Based on the history of the show, you know that It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia: A Very Sunny Christmas (Fox, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$29.99 SRP) isn’t going to be your regular, everyday holiday special. And it’s not. Let’s just say that the gang’s run-in with Santa is a keeper. Bonus materials include deleted scenes, a featurette, and a sing-along.

Not given the love of stablemates like The Sopranos and Deadwood when it aired, Rome (HBO, Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP) finally gets the deluxe special edition that its epic tale of love, betrayal, and empire deserves. In addition to all 22 episodes, the set also sports audio commentaries, a quartet of featurettes on Roman history, a quintet of behind-the-scenes featurettes, an interactive historical guide, and more. A lovely looking Blu-Ray edition ($139.99 SRP) is also available, with identical bonus features but with a much more incredible picture.

A perfect companion piece to Wizard Of Oz’s recent beautifully remastered anniversary release is Warner’s other gem of 1939, Gone With The Wind (Warner Bros., Rated G, DVD-$24.98 SRP). In addition to the sparkling print, the 2-disc edition contains an audio commentary by historian Rudy Behlmer.

I was about to try defending Devlin/Emmerich’s Godzilla (Sony, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$24.95 SRP) as just mindless, goofball, monster fun - but it’s still a wrongheaded mess of a movie that really would have been smarter not calling itself, well, Godzilla. It is still a glorious enough mess in high-definition to be worth giving a spin, just to see a bunch of special effects on your nice TV.

I tried numerous times to get into Farscape, but could never get past its overly artificial, manufactured sci-fi feel, but I know it has a massive, rabid fanbase who are probably counting their pennies for the immense, comprehensive Farscape: The Complete Series (A&E, Not Rated, DVD-$149.95 SRP). The 26-disc set contains all 88 episodes, audio commentaries, deleted scenes, featurettes, documentaries, interviews, promos, and much more. Over 15 hours worth of bonus materials in all. Does that make you Farscape fans happy? I certainly hope so.

While it was a step up from the bewilderingly awful seventh season, the eighth season of Scrubs (ABC Studios, Not Rated, Blu-Ray-$54.99 SRP) didn’t go far enough in recapturing the charm and grounding that marked its brilliant early seasons - which is a shame, as this was the swan song for the cast as it had stood from the show’s inception. Ah well, at least we have those early DVDs. The 3-disc set features all 19 episodes, plus alternate lines, webisodes, a featurette, deleted scenes, and bloopers.

With Prohibition on the way out, the final 12 episodes featured in The Untouchables Season 3: Volume 2 (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$39.98 SRP) finds Eliot Ness focusing on gambling, prostitution, and narcotics in that big-shouldered city, Chicago.

It’s trickling out, but another volume of Ben 10: Alien Force (Cartoon Network, Not Rated, DVD-$14.98 SRP) has his the ground. The 5th volume contains a quartet of episodes, plus a sneak peek at the live action movie.

Yes, Nash Bridges (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP) - the only reason I ever watched you was to see costar Cheech Marin be Cheech Marin, which is always worth seeing. The 5-disc set contains all 23 3rd season episodes, but not a single bonus feature. Not even Cheech Marin.

I never sparked to Drawn Together (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$59.98 SRP). Based on a pretty solid concept for comedy - about a motley crew of various cartoon character parodies thrown together into an animated Big Brother house - but its writing always fell flat for me. Still, there were fans, and they’ll probably want this complete series box set, containing all 36 episodes.

I’ve long been a fan of the work being done by the fine folks at Electric Tiki, as they always manage to do some of the most glorious design and sculpting work for their licensed maquettes. With that in mind, it’s understandable that I was delighted to hear they had picked up a license from the Mouse House to do a line of maquettes under the banner of the Walt Disney Showcase Collection. The first couple of these have just hit US shores, and are worth every single penny it takes for you to make one your own (which may be difficult, as these are ridiculously low edition sizes of just a few hundred each). The initial batch - all standing around 7″-10″high - are Darkwing Duck (Sideshow, $99.99), the Rescue Rangers, Gadget, Chip, & Dale ($124.99) and Jessica Rabbit (Sideshow, $124.99), sporting an abandoned outfit designed for the short subject Rollercoaster Rabbit. As you can see from the photos below - tres magnifique.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

##

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

I was able to sit down for a couple of years and pump out a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

Check out my new column, This Week In Trailers, at SlashFilm.com and follow me on TWITTER under the name: Stipp

Daniel Cudmore and Charlie Bewley of Twilight: New Moon - Interview

I realize this is the backhanded way of going about introducing these two actors in what is one the most hyped releases of 2009 but their appearance in the last third of the film’s running time is the best part of the movie.

Really, by the time Edward is thrashed by a very thick and mean Daniel Cudmore who plays part of the vampire royalty in Stephenie Meyer’s series of books about vampires who sparkle in the sun you are just aching for something to happen. The promise of vampiric strength is never really examined at all until we see Daniel provide what is the most delightful moments of the movie. The Volturi, led by the rapturous Michael Sheen who just shines in a role that could have been camped up in keeping with the books themselves, are not only mysterious but actually deliver on the promise of being that community’s judge, jury and executioner. While it would have been delicious to have seen more of this clan it was nonetheless a fantastic experience to sit down with Cudmore and newcomer Charlie Bewley and talk about their roles in this new film.

From the attention, adoration, and scrutiny of teen fans, to knowing how to act when you’re being filmed in slow-motion, to not getting a comp of your own action figure this interview was, at the very least, rewarding to participate in when you consider how casual the two of them treated this experience.

(Special thanks to The Massie Twins of GoneWithTheTwins.com who provided the transcription below)

The Massie Twins: How are you enjoying Arizona? You came here for the one day out of the year when it’s cold.

Daniel Cudmore: I know. It’s supposed to be summer all year here, and it’s a little chilly. It’s better than Vancouver now, which is all rain. I can’t complain.

MT: How was the mall tour yesterday?

DC: The mall tour was wild. They’ve been very, very cool. You see these people who are so passionate about these great books and they haven’t even seen what we’ve done with the characters that we play. They’ve got this blind faith and it’s flattering but also nerve-wracking. You hope you’ve done all your homework.

MT: How many have you gone through so far?

Charlie Bewley: We’ve been to Philly, Seattle and this is the final leg of the tour. They’ve got their actors in the field right now.

Christopher Stipp: Usually as an actor you say “it’s just a job, this is what I do,” but this has its own little sphere of…

CB: Yeah, this is an amazing thing to be involved in. As my first real project, it’s great because there is so much extracurricular obligation. I’ve just signed a contract for next year to do a bunch of appearances. For such a small but great role there are so many things you can do away from the film to keep yourself busy.

MT: Were you guys familiar with the novels before you got involved?

DC: I’d heard some rumblings on the internet when they were casting the first one that I should go out and audition. I didn’t know the world that well. I knew of it, but as soon as I was in the process of auditioning, I sort of delved into it and educated myself on it. I can’t say enough about Stephenie Meyer’s writing.

MT: Had you seen the first movie?

CB: I watched the first movie on the day of my audition. The 27th of January I believe. In an acting sense I had prepared for the role, but I find it’s always useful to watch the films. I had to download the thing because I couldn’t get to the cinema that early in the morning. There’s a very definite style to the way she interprets this world. It’s ethereal yet it’s real.

That probably has a lot to do with the way it was shot – very dingy, very overcast. The first film is a cult film and when it was finished I had an idea of what I needed to do – take that forward and be this Demetri guy. New Moon is very much a Hollywood blockbuster movie and an action film. It should bring a whole new demographic to the Twilight world. I don’t think anyone really understands how big this is going to be. After a week you’re going to get some spare seats in theaters and they’re going to get filled up with guys looking for a good action movie.

MT: Can you guys give us a quick intro into your characters and the Volturi?

CB: Volturi are brought into this because of what happens to Edward. He, very selfishly (the more I think about it, the more angry I get), goes out and tries to dispose of himself. He goes to the Volturi and wants them to kill him. Volturi are the only people who can kill him. He thinks Bella has committed suicide, and… you know the story. But they want his powers and want to take him on board. He says he’ll go out into the world and screw up the whole vampire nation by exposing himself – so he puts his whole family at risk, and everyone else in the vampire kingdom. Aro sends us out to bring him back. We make and enforce the laws.

MT: What are the special powers that each of you have?

CB: I’m a tracker, very much like James’ character in the first one, but my tracking abilities are unlimited which makes me a much more formidable threat, which you’ll see in Breaking Dawn. Demetri gets the standard skill set of being immensely strong, fast, aesthetically pleasing and highly dangerous. I am very much the “good cop” where as Felix is…

DC: Each character gets an extra power, whether it be a tracking ability or mind power, but my character isn’t given a specific power except that he’s just brutally vicious and strong. There isn’t a vampire at his same level and he knows this, so he can have fun with tearing apart other vampires. He knows what he can do and enjoys the heightened strength.

CB: I think that goes for the whole of the Volturi. We’re a very arrogant bunch.

CS: Is it ever difficult to play a superhero type character? Do you ever start laughing after you’ve read a script before you sit down and think, “okay, I’ve got to play this straight. I’m a vampire, I’ve got these superpowers.” Is there every a moment, at least initially, where it’s funny?

DC: For me, sometimes you do get a character who on the surface, you’re like “how am I going to do this?” But you break it down and find the emotion, to the most minimal base. How do I connect. What can I bring to make this real for me. I start with a basic foundation and build it up from there. Everything else is just extra. You make it real to you and everything else goes with it. It doesn’t feel campy. You’ve identified with the emotion. You’re there and everything else builds up the character.

CB: I think if it weren’t for the fact that this is such a huge, phenomenal success and everyone wants to be a vampire right now, then there might be cause for going, “okay, I’m a vampire. This is weird.” But I never got to that stage. I’m a badass vampire! I call my friends at home and say, “Guess what! I’m a vampire!” When I go out onto the street I don’t act like an actor – I think it’s the same for vampires. They are badass vampires, so they don’t have to go out and act like it. These are real people with superhuman abilities and idiosyncrasies that come with being a vampire. Yes I eat human flesh, yes this, yes that. We don’t carry it around like some sort of a tag. Especially the Cullens, they’re real people – that’s why so many people can get into it. When the primal urges come out, you have to act vicious and aggressive. That’s when you can show the vampire side. I’m looking forward to that because it’s a massive contrast to the charming Demetri that I’ve played in this one.

MT: What’s the tone like on the set? Is anyone a prankster? Is Kristin Stewart incredibly eccentric?

CB: Not really. (laughs) There’s not that much to talk about behind-the-scenes. It’s an incredibly professional set. It’s a very high-stakes film with some huge industry talent. There’s not that much room for a prankster running around putting whoopee cushions on Aro’s chair. Case in point, on the set, Chris Weitz, who is normally very calm – we were doing a take and some extras were talking behind the set. Chris lost it. When the nicest guy in the room loses it, you know he’s angry. Off set, there’s some great characters. It was really nice meeting all the Cullens and putting personalities to faces. There’s some nice people, but I wouldn’t say there’s a guy running around pulling people’s pants down.

MT: What’s the craziest or coolest thing a fan has done so far?

DC: Wow. Last night this little girl was crying. It was the most terrible moment of her life mixed with the most emotionally charged, happy moment. It was such a strange feeling. I looked up and…

CB: Yeah, she could have gone any way (laughs)

DC: She like almost fainted, but I touched her hand and she wobbled away. It was the strangest thing, but it was really, really cool.

CB: It’s really hard to understand. We must be like the gods were to the Greek peasants back in the day (laughs).

DC: (laughs) I don’t see myself like that!

CB: (laughs) I’m trying to fathom it in my head, the power status there is between fans and movie stars that could justify the extreme female behavior. Something I can’t get my head around.

DC: And then you go back home and your buddies tear you apart. (laughs) They instantly put you back in your place. It’s hugely flattering, especially when they haven’t seen what you’ve done. It’s also great to have your friends and family knock the pegs right out from underneath you.

CS: Last year Taylor [Lautner] was sitting where you are now. Before that, no one knew who he was. Now he’s on the cover of US Weekly. What’s it like to go from 0 – 100 mph in six months? Are you prepared to be in the same situation with the attention?

CB: I don’t know the answer to that.

DC: I very briefly got to meet and chat with him, but the kid is smart and he’s got a good head on his shoulders. It’s just part of the business and I think he’s done a great job with it. Are you ever ready for this kind of thing? I don’t think so, but if you know who you are, then you’re fine. You’re the product and you promote it like anything else.

MT: Who would win in a fight: Felix or Colossus?

DC: (laughs) Oh man. I think it would… I don’t want to upset anybody. I think it would go on for a very long time and it would be a very cool fight scene. And it would cost a lot of money if they wanted to do that in a movie.

MT: Are you getting your own Twilight action figures, and if so, will you own them?

CB: Damn right! That’s immortalization! This is stage one on my way to my statue! (laughs) We did a publicity day, which we missed for New Moon – which is why you’re not seeing us on all the paraphernalia going around – but we got to go to Italy. We went up on this mini stage and there was some technological setup that took our front, side, profile. And someone was like, “this is for your action figure.” And at that point I was like… Wicked! Sweet! (laughs)

DC: I got one for Colossus, but I didn’t get one. Those guys didn’t send me one, and I’m upset. I want you guys to get this out here and have whoever made those things to send me one.

CB: Just go buy one!

DC: I’m not going to buy one. It’s bull!

CB: I’m going to go to a store and pick one up off the shelf and walk to the cashier and say, “that’s me! That is me.”

DC: Why couldn’t they have just sent me one so I could have it!

MT: Have you guys seen the final cut of the movie?

DC: No. Monday’s the premiere. I’m really excited. It’s going to be huge. Sometimes I don’t want to see it before the premiere.

CB: I’m on the other side – I wish I’d seen it. I’ve got like three agents coming with me and they’re going to be watching me. That’s pressure. I know I’ve made some pretty weird choices in the film. I don’t know if they’re caught on camera or not. Here’s actor naïveté for you:  It’s when we rip apart the vampire and Aro’s got the head and we had to film the bit where we have an arm each. We’ve just ripped his arm off and I played the scene in my head and I said “This is one of those slow motion scenes, massively dramatic.” So I thought, “I’ve got to play it in slow motion.” (Charlie acts out ripping apart a vampire in super slow-mo). And I forgot you do everything in real time and they slow it down afterwards. (laughs) So I’m in the car at night with Dan and I’m like, “Shit. I did that scene in slow motion! Was I supposed to? NO!”

DC: I was looking over thinking, “Is he in slow motion? What did he have for lunch?” (laughs)

MT: Well hopefully they can speed it up to put it back into real time.

CB: I can picture someone up at 2:00 in the morning correcting my screw-up. (laughs)

Oh no! Just when you thought it was safe to hang out at the Quick Stop…

Cabin Fever (hosted by the twisted souls Brian Fitzpatrick and Aaron Poole) is the result of having too much time on your hands and access to your local community radio station.

Over the course of an hour, they manage to trawl the depths of good taste, plus throw some music in. How much more could you want from a podcast?… Quality? Oh… we didn’t think of that.

Enjoy! And we hope our cross Atlantic friends can understand the Irish accent

Hugs and Kisses,
Aaron P. + Rev. Fitzy

CABIN FEVER #80: Green For Go - This week the Cabin boys discuss sport, celebrity, and drugs. They do not, however, discuss a celebrity sports star who uses drugs. Music provided by AudioMohel.

[CONTENT WARNING]: Explicit contents! We say every naughty word you can think of. You have been warned!

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #80 (MP3 format) – 78.14 MB

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Aaron & Brian at the Cabin Fever mailbag.

CLICK HERE FOR THE CABIN FEVER ARCHIVES

##

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs - however they see fit, within the parameters set forth - after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu - one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge - or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman - specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” - and their descriptions - HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

You’ll find the Round 1 songs from each of our Challengers below, as well as the STILL ONGOING Round 1 voting (it ends on November 22nd, so be sure to vote!). More importantly, though, you’ll also discover what the Round 2 Challenge is!

THE CHALLENGERS

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#288 Polly The Exhumer”

JASON MORRIS

I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.
Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun”

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends - some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also - feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!
Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud”

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther”

TYLER MASSEY

Tyler Massey is an uncomplicated person. He likes to sip Cristal and polish his yacht collection. He enjoys the simple things in life, like stepping on snails barefoot and nude origami. He wishes that he had a proper Hobo Name, and is open to suggestions.
Official Website: www.tylermassey.co.uk
Twitter: twitter.com/tylermassey
ROUND 1 SONG: “#429 Mr Roughfingers and his ‘Louse’-estra”

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!
Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz
ROUND 1 SONG: “#381 Captain Dane Frostline”

BRAM TANT

Bram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.
Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx
ROUND 1 SONG: “#666 Tommy Dickfish”

STEVE CHATTERTON

Hi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.
Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
ROUND 1 SONG: “#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown”

MANTICESS

Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain - or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “#423 Red”

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.
Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
ROUND 1 SONG: “#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown”

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ‘09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware.
Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “#471 Mr. Armskin”

JALAPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.
Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”

TIMOTHY RUSH

Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta
ROUND 1 SONG: “#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle”

JUBILEE JEWS

They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps”

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer – Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#414 Nick Nolte”

PETER BENEDICT

Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch”

CRAIG RICHIE

At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie
ROUND 1 SONG: “#275 Mr. Owen Daylight”

JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both - though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon
ROUND 1 SONG: “#422 Mokey”

AARON Z

Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.
Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#590 Harvey Rupert Elder”

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG: “#298 Mr. Deadend”

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)
Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant
ROUND 1 SONG: “#297 Mr. Tom Furby”

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.
Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader
ROUND 1 SONG: “#153 Permanent Unsex”

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.
Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines
ROUND 1 SONG: “#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer”

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian Johnson was born atop Mount Everest, was attacked by a troop of ninjas on his way out of the womb, then rode a grizzly bear down the mountain and punched Hitler’s ghost on the way down. Then he ate some mashed peas. Seriously though. Ian played piano for about six years before taking a break in music. Then he decided to play guitar, because as we all know, piano don’t get chicks. He started playing guitar about a year and a half ago. His music has been described (by himself) as garage-punk ska-esque acoustic altern-rock with just a little ukulele thrown in for good measure.
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#145 Mandibular-Jaw Johnny”

ZER0GUY

Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
ROUND 1 SONG: “#237 Dirtbag Dan”

JONATHAN MANN

My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.
Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull”

SARA PARSONS

Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
ROUND 1 SONG: “#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters”

CHAS LILLY

Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic
ROUND 1 SONG: “#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw”

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.
Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto
ROUND 1 SONG: “#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt”

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.
Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#623 Jenna Frogtalker”

ALEX TAYLOR

I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”

GIFTED GEAR

I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#580 Old Man Hades”

BOB WESTFALL

Bob Westfall (guitar, mandolin, vocals, songwriting) has studied and worked with some of the top acoustic players in the country - Darol Anger, Mike Marshall, John Hartford, and Alex DeGrassi. But, while these influences are certainly evident, Westfall’s songwriting and lyrics are uniquely his own. An award-winning mandolinist, Bob grew up in Texas and Minnesota, and his style incorporates the best elements of composing with a hybrid jazz/pop/worldbeat/bluegrass feel.
Official Website: www.sonicbids.com/thebobwestfallband
ROUND 1 SONG: “#023 Miss Annabelle Tunnelsmell”

JUSTIN VEGA

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to mix Ravishing Rick Rude and the Beatles together? Me too. Man that would be awesome. Justin Vega is a songwriter/sort of singer from Las Vegas, NV. Justin Vega thinks writing in third person is awesome.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#077 Dr. Hieronymous Sandpuppy”

SIMMBIOSIS

Simmbiosis - three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis
ROUND 1 SONG: “#646 Hydrostatic Charlie”

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 2 CHALLENGE

Write a song about a number.

That’s right - a song about a number. It can be any number, and it can be describing or representing anything. The number you choose will be the title of your song. The song can be in any style you’d like. Your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

Your song must be submitted in mp3 form (128-192kbps) either via e-mail (to songfu @ quickstopentertainment.com - remember to remove the spaces) or a file upload service (like RapidShare or YouSendIt). Deadline for submission is 11:59pm EST on Sunday, November 29th, 2009.

Voting on Round 2 submissions will commence on Tuesday, December 1st, 2009.

If you want some inspiration, here’s a number song from Harry Nilsson…

ROUND 1 VOTING

And now, it’s time for the voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22nd. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 1 VOTING - THE CHALLENGERS

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

Interview: Eric Lichtenfeld Part 2 of 2

This is the second half of my talk with Eric Lichtenfeld, author of Action Speaks Louder: Violence, Spectacle, and the American Action Movie. Please don’t forget to check out the first half of this interview or my original review of his book.

BOB ROSE: Do you enjoy action film satires such as True Lies, Shoot ’Em Up, or Hot Fuzz?

ERIC LICHTENFELD: I like True Lies a lot.

BR: It’s definitely a satire, at least to some degree.

EL: Yes, a loving one. It’s one of those films that works both ways. I think Robocop is an even better example than True Lies, but both of them illustrate this well: it’s a satire that works as a movie even if you don’t get the satire. You don’t watch them and think that there is something you’re missing.

BR: Robocop is a movie that I don’t feel has been fully appreciated for what’s under its skin.

EL: I think the critical thinking concerning Robocop over the years has matured to the point where it has gotten its due. Obviously not in all corners–I’d be surprised if Michael Medved went for it, though he might; I honestly don’t know.

BR: Sequels have diluted the way it is remembered.

EL: The sequels really have very little to do with the original, and what made the original special.

BR: I agree, however, when people view a franchise as a whole they tend to have trouble separating the installments in their mind.

EL: Rocky and the Rambo franchise are great examples of that. You might be right about that with Robocop, but, I think anyone who spends any time thinking about this even remotely seriously would still look at Robocop as its own entity.

BR: Sure, I was just saying that, for instance, Robocop 2, which I admit to enjoying as an action film, made the “joke” of Robocop the point of the movie. It makes people forget.

EL: Yeah, you’re right.

BR: My life experience has been, when I tell people I’m interested in film and that Robocop is one of my favorite films…I get funny looks. You actually start your book with a quote from Robocop. Clarence Bodeker quipping “guns, guns, guns.”

EL: I was always a very big fan of Robocop. I remember a very close family friend, a friend of my parents, watched it on my recommendation and told me, “Your taste is up your ass.”

BR: [laughs]

EL: I thought, “ok, they just didn’t get it.” One of the clichés I really hate is when people talk about movies and say that some inanimate object was “like another character in the movie,” but in Robocop, violence really is like another character: it goes through a lot of changes and progression. Almost every major violent episode of Robocop has a distinctly different tone. Sometimes the violence is darkly comic, such as when ED209 kills the executive in the boardroom–

BR: Which is even longer and more violent in the unrated cut.

EL: Right, and even funnier. In the drug warehouse or the showdown at the steel mill, the violence is heroic. When the gang converges on Murphy it’s very tragic. So Verhoeven crafted a lot of violence in the movie, but always found a way to give it different emotional flavors, and that’s just one facet of how smart that movie is.

BR: Do you think that is affected by how Paul Verhoeven views the movie, as a form of Christ’s story? Murphy’s death is played so serious and sad, like as if it’s his crucifixion, even though it preceded by something as funny as ED209 malfunctioning.

EL: Well, Verhoeven has described himself as a Christ scholar. So, the short answer to your question is “sure.” I’m sure that how he treats Murphy is a reflection of his investment in the Christ story. At the same time I’m hesitant to make too big a deal about that because all action movies are Christ stories. Most hero stories involve the basic building blocks. Most heroes have–I’m saying this figuratively–an almost supernatural quality. Dirty Harry is set apart from other men. Martin Riggs is set apart from other men. An action hero is set apart from others, has special abilities, has a divine purpose (again, I’m speaking figuratively,) is forsaken by his community (that’s a really important point,) and rises again. So I think that Verhoeven’s fascination with Jesus is certainly informing that scene, but I think you would read the same thing into the movie even if that wasn’t a particular interest of his.

BR: Yeah, I would have never singled out Robocop specifically for that if he had not said “This is my version of the Christ story.”

EL: I’m certainly not disagreeing with Verhoeven on this, but that would have probably been in there to one extent or another, even if—

BR: He’d not been trying.

EL: Exactly, because it’s the nature of the genre. Cobra is a very similar thing. It depends on how “literal vs. figurative” you want to be with some of your language about martyrdom, and about being forsaken and so forth. But the building blocks of that story are present in most these stories.

BR: In keeping with the topic of the hero story, in your book you discuss the archetype of “the man that knows Indians.” The hero as the outsider.

EL: Yeah, he is one of us, except that he has a very intimate knowledge of “the other.”

BR: Like Travis Bickle?

EL: Travis Bickle is certainly based on that archetype as Taxi Driver is very much an inverted The Searchers. Rambo is a perfect example, he’s a guerilla fighter.

BR: Yet he fights for the norm of the people he doesn’t know.

EL: Not just the people he doesn’t know, he fights to protect a society that will not integrate him into it.

BR: What I like about your book is that it shows how Taxi Driver is part of the evolution of the action movie, even though it isn’t really part of the genre.

EL: It’s very interesting: when I would tell people that I was including Taxi Driver in the book, some people got kind of pissed.

BR: Because they thought you were diluting what Taxi Driver is?

EL: Exactly, like I was defacing Taxi Driver by including it in this un-scrubbed mass of movies.

BR: Which you weren’t at all.

EL: Thank you. Once again, that insult kind of goes to the standing of the action genre, in terms of how people validate it, or not. The fact that some people were annoyed that I put Taxi Driver in with this sort of un-washed, un-scrubbed genre says a lot about the standing that the genre enjoys.

BR: Especially now. I admit I don’t remember a lot of criticism from 20 years ago, but do you think that with what action has become, it is respected less?

EL: I think in terms of most critics, action has stayed pretty much where it’s always been, on one of the lower tiers, critically speaking. There are films that break out, and there are ones that over time can grow in stature. I think most critics would argue that Die Hard is one of the great action movies, but if you go back to 1988 and read the reviews, they were mixed.

BR: But, in hindsight, Die Hard can be looked back at as simply a great movie.

EL: I agree. Going back to Taxi Driver, people were very irritated. I wouldn’t reduce Taxi Driver to just an action movie; I think it is a lot more then just that.

BR: Sure, it’s a drama or a dark comedy much more then an action film.

EL: It’s a lot of things. It’s a modern day western. It’s a horror movie. Taxi Driver is one of those films that is such a complicated, but ultimately organic, constellation of genre elements, there are many different ways to parse it.

BR: It’s a film that could be analyzed till judgment day and still not be fully cracked.

EL: It’s made by cinephiles, by true cinephiles. What I tried to do was say that in addition to all the ways that Taxi Driver has been looked at up to this point, you can also look at it as this stepping stone in the evolution of the modern action movie. An important one especially in how it directly engages the idea of the vigilante. That is such an important part of the transition from westerns to modern day action films, and an important transition from basically everything that had come up to ‘70s, in terms of film history, to the ‘80s and what would become that classical period.

BR: Movies like Taxi Driver, and even say, Dirty Harry, compared to the action films of the present day almost feel like dramas.

EL: I would agree with you about Taxi Driver; Dirty Harry less so. I think what you’re probably picking up on is that idea you were discussing earlier that the movies have gotten so much bigger that when you look at Dirty Harry today it’s hard to know how to classify it, because it doesn’t look like the actions movies we’ve grown accustomed to.

BR: I hate to be one of the people that have grown accustomed to it, but we are bombarded so consistently how can you not?

EL: [Laughs] I’ll give you another good example of this idea. I was teaching my class, and that particular semester, our genre unit was on the action movie and we had a 35mm print of Lethal Weapon. Now I have seen Lethal Weapon numerous times, but I hadn’t seen it projected since 1987. So I was very excited to see it in 35mm again for the first time in about 20 years. Know what amazed me? That foot chase over Hollywood Blvd., It’s a great sequence, there isn’t a frame wrong with it. But I kept thinking about how conceptually small it is, and wondering how often you could get away with making it the big third-act sequence today.

BR: Compared to today, that is the action-equivalent of the first act of a movie.

EL: Very true. That made me sad; it made me lonesome for that time.

BR: Yes, but the subtext of that scene is big. The subtext of a mammoth action scene, let’s say of a movie like Transformers, is nil, where as the subtext of the action in Lethal Weapon’s climax is enormous.

EL: [Laughs] I wouldn’t call it subtext in that case, but I would call it intensity. You have characters you really care about, that you are really invested in. I mean, yes, the whole movie is kind of comic-book like, especially the third act, but the performances are real, the dynamic is real, you feel something for these people. I hate reducing the movie or the genre to this issue, but there’s something to it. Yes, the concept might be small, but it does allow for a much more visceral, kinetic experience. That’s why, throughout the book, I try to write so much about craftsmanship and this is the point I concluded on: that what I think is missing today is that physical investment in what’s happening on screen. When I look at something like the first Transformers, and I look at those action sequences, I don’t know what it is I’m suppose to be feeling.

BR: Or what it is you are even looking at… [laughs]

EL: Sure, but one issue is more fundamental than the other. Yes, I don’t always know what I’m looking at, which is a problem, and that’s a big issue with not just Michael Bay, but other filmmakers.

BR: The action-geography influences the physical investment of the scene as well.

EL: Exactly. What I believe is that without a clear sense of geography there’s not a clear sense of jeopardy. So when I look at something like Transformers, and I see the action sequences, I don’t know what I am supposed to be feeling. Am I supposed to feel excited, the way you feel excited when you watch the foot chase in Lethal Weapon, or in First Blood? Or are you just supposed to feel kind of generally overwhelmed (which is a completely different feeling)? I can’t speak for anyone else, but I prefer to be excited over being bombarded.

BR: Overwhelmed is sort of the mantra of the Transformers franchise as well. The goal of the sequel seems to be, “How big can we go? How much can we throw at them, and how fast can we do it?” The movie doesn’t want you there for the characters; it wants you there for the experience.

EL: Yes, Lethal Weapon works in part because we care about the characters and that is all great, but as I was talking about before it was all about sheer craftsmanship. In his review of Lethal Weapon, I think, Roger Ebert said it absolutely beautifully that the pleasure of the action movie is in the choreography of bullets and bodies and all of these elements. There is an aesthetic pleasure that can be gotten from all that. Look at the first Die Hard. Also, and this is a movie that gets knocked around a lot, but I was watching Die Hard With A Vengeance yesterday, and there is some stuff in there that I think is just incredible. It’s all about basic film style and craftsmanship. That is one of the points that I concluded the book with. When it’s done right, the pleasure of the action movie is that it truly physically makes you feel alive. You sense these things on your flesh, you sense these things on your nerve endings and in your gut. Thinking about how filmmakers have the power to do that is really an extraordinary thing and it makes me sad that it’s so forsaken.

BR: It’s dying.

EL: Yeah, probably. I like to think that there are filmmakers that just aren’t on my radar right now, who are, frankly, on lots and lots of other people’s radars. I saw Star Trek and I saw glimmers of that alive in that film. I thought Star Trek was a really good movie. I remember when Waterworld came out, and not unlike Last Action Hero, Waterworld was a movie that had a lot of the story behind the movie dogging it and following it…

BR: The biggest budget ever.

EL: Right, and when the movie came out it wasn’t even it hype, it was like anti-hype.

BR: It was also part of the Kevin Costner backlash.

EL: At that point, yes. When it was released, Steven Spielberg was being interviewed about something else, and they asked him “have you seen Waterworld?’ and he said “yes” and they said “was it worth 300 million dollars?” and I loved his answer. His answer was “It doesn’t have to be worth 300 million dollars, it has to be worth seven dollars.” I thought that was just perfect. I thought so much about that after I saw Star Trek, because we can talk about this stuff all day long, but what does this all ultimately come down to? You went to a movie, you bought a ticket, you either had an experience or you didn’t. When I came out of Star Trek, I think we paid about $15 to see it, I said “You know, that was worth my money, I had an experience.”

BR: Flaws aside, I agree it worked as great entertainment.

EL: Yeah, and how often can that be said of these very impressive light shows? You know Transformers was a very impressive light show, but did I have an experience? If I had one, is it a worthwhile one?

BR: Was it worth $10?

EL: Was it even worth the time? I’d say no.

BR: There’s a reason we needed movies like District 9 and Inglourious Basterds this summer. People are all too often are going to films like Transformers, and saying “why did I just pay money for that? What did I just watch?” Seeing something like Basterds, or District 9, which is a light show plus more, at least gives you your money’s worth. I think it has a lot to do with passion. While all “big” movies are product, some movies, like Transformers, feel like only product. At least with Basterds or District 9, even if you didn’t like those movies you can still feel the passion behind them, and that in turn inflates the experience. It makes you say “that was worth my money.”

EL: Yeah, I think that’s a fair way to put it.

BR: This has been a very droll summer. Every film looks like G.I. Joe or Transformers, and while I didn’t see G.I. Joe, I think I can get a picture of what G.I. Joe would be.

EL: [Laughs] Like everyone else, I heard it wasn’t as bad as they thought it would be.

BR: Is that ever really a compliment? [Laughs] One of the chapters of your book is titled “Terror and the Confined Area,” dealing with the sub-genre created by Die Hard. This decade we have sort of seen the confined area die. I guess we could blame the rise of fantasy and comic book films. Do you think audiences have forgotten that an action scene can take place in an elevator just as easily as a battlefield?

EL: [Laughs] Well, let’s start broad and narrow our focus. I would say that the last significant movie in that Die Hard vein was Air Force One.

BR: That long ago?

EL: Yeah. I don’t really even think Live Free Or Die Hard follows the format. When you talk about that state of all those movies coming out on top of each other in the ‘90s, it was because we had a few dominant trends and that was one of them. That cycle ended with Air Force One in July of 1997. That is a movie I really admire. We were talking about craftsmanship; that is a very finely crafted movie. I think the trend died out for two reasons, the rise of CG making other things possible as we talked about before, but also there was such a distinctive trend that had been going on for so long it had to stop. Genre is a funny thing. It’s about formula and variation and carefully controlling that balance between the familiar and the new. This is no fault of the concept, it happens all the time; the cycle just reached its end. I’m glad it went out with a movie that was so well-crafted in that it really got the idea of geography, which is what made the first Die Hard so effective.

BR: Ironically, the biggest criticism of Air Force One is the CG plane crash.

EL: Yeah, that sequence doesn’t work very well. The technology wasn’t that far along yet, they overshot their capability. Air Force One is not one of those widely-admired movies necessarily. I’m usually on the leading edge of its cheerleaders.

BR: Honestly, I was expecting you to be very negative toward it. I love the movie, but in my experience, it usually isn’t greeted with much welcome. [Laughs]

EL: Yeah, I think that’s really unfortunate. In fact, I’ll give you a great illustration of what I’m talking about. A few weeks before Air Force One came out, there was the summer’s other terrorists-take-over-a-plane-movie which was Con Air. I saw it with friends, and I said to them, “You know in the interior of the plane, there’s that cage where they keep the dangerous psychopath?”

BR: Danny Trejo, the rapist character, Johnny 23.

EL: I said, “Where was that cage in relationship to the seats?” and everybody had a different answer. Now how hard would it have been to very clearly map out the geography of the plane? If John McTiernan had directed that movie, one shot would have taken care of all of that. A stedi-cam shot. When the concept is absolutely dependent on your sense of geography, that kind of frenetic style ran roughshod over it. Go back and watch the dogfight where it’s Air Force One between the F-16s and Migs. Whenever they cut into a cockpit the pilots are always facing the direction their planes were facing. Screen direction is preserved there and really, really well. There’s a certain level of craftsmanship there, a lot to admire and learn from in Air Force One between [the director Wolfgang Petersen] and Michael Ballhaus’s cinematography. So that cycle had ended, and your question was about if we had forgotten that action can take place in an elevator or a confined space.

BR: We have such epic action now. I think if you said “action scene” to a 12-15 year old right now, they would think of a battlefield or a desert covered in billions of minions. There’s nothing wrong with that sometimes, but action scenes don’t always have to be a fully filmed war, or a CG equivalent of a classic Godzilla battle in fast motion.

EL: I think that is a fair observation. Again, I think it’s because of CG. It allows you to do things on such a grand scale without paying for it like you had to in the past.

[Both Laugh]

It allows these spectacles to happen, and filmmakers take advantage of it. Yes, there probably has been a loss of more intimate kinds of sequences, which is a pity because I think one of the things that filmmakers most often would tell you is that as much as they always want more time and more money, less time and less money is what often forces them into sharper, more innovative thinking.

BR: You get Jaws out of that.

EL: You get Die Hard.

BR: Do you consider the fantasy genre when you think about action? Lord of the Rings has plenty of action, but do you include it in the category?

EL: I don’t. My general way of looking at this is that since so many genres involve physical action, battles, combat or whatever you want to call it, if you were to talk about all the movies that have action in them as “action movies” the label would stop meaning anything. I talk a little bit about that in the introduction to the book. So, no I wouldn’t. If a movie with action more immediately belongs to another genre, and visually and in everyway you instinctively know it belongs to another genre…it probably belongs to that genre, or several genres. I don’t talk about Aliens very much in the book, even though it has a lot of the genre’s elements because Aliens is much more immediately a science fiction movie or a horror film.

BR: I agree. It’s confusing when Entertainment Weekly puts Aliens as the second greatest action film of all time on their list.

EL: Exactly, what does “action” mean then? I talk about science fiction and superhero movies in the book because over time the genre does expand to incorporate these other types of movies, especially with technology and so forth. But no, I don’t consider fantasy to be action movies. It doesn’t mean I dismiss them, and it doesn’t mean they are unrelated. Like I said, all these genres exist on sort of a family tree, some branches are further apart, some are much closer together.

BR: Your book talks about something I’m embarrassed to admit I’ve never realized. That is the tendency of huge action films, specifically concentrating on Armageddon, to have a fear of intellectualism.

EL: An outright disdain for it. [Laughs]

BR: Yeah, you dissect Armageddon in your book, a movie I have seen many times, and you really, successfully, point out how the movie outright makes fun of science and scientists.

EL: In what is inherently a science-fiction scenario.

BR: From every vantage you look at the conflict in the movie it’s fully encapsulated by scientific knowledge.

EL: Remember the line that Bruce Willis says “You guys at NASA, aren’t you the guys who are thinking stuff up, and behind you there are guys thinking stuff up.” Well, we know what Michael Bay thinks about “guys who think stuff up.”

BR: Do you think that is a way of trying to pander to the audience? Not that the audience is inherently stupid, but everyone can’t be an astronomer or a physicist. I know I’m not.

EL: Yeah, and I think it’s committed by Michael Bay in particular. I think it is part of a very broad, very caustic, very noxious form of pandering. What [Bay] does in his movies, he also does in his interviews when discussing his movies and the critics, and he does it when talking about his past. There’s a theme running through all of that, which kind of separates the intellectual realm from “the people.” He positions himself as kind of the vanguard of the people, and of the people’s tastes. He “doesn’t make movies for the critics, he makes movies for the people,” as though critics aren’t people.

BR: I know he believes that quality should be based on financial success.

EL: Right, which is absurd. I wish I could take credit for this, but concerning the new Transformers movie someone wrote, “When people tell me to shut off my brain and have fun, I tell them I can’t because my brain is where I have fun.”

[Both Laugh]

BR: That should be on T-shirts.

EL: It should. I wish I could take credit for it, because it’s absolutely brilliant and perfect. I think what Michael Bay does is beyond pandering. It is consistent with the anti-intellectualism that has blighted our country cyclically for generations. I’m certainly not saying Michael Bay is to blame for all this, but if you look at what’s happening with the environment, economically, to the country, to the planet, this really isn’t a time when we want to be saying that intellectualism isn’t cool. When National Treasure came out, critics really savaged it, and I will say that it’s a pretty imperfect movie, but there was one aspect of it that I really, really liked, and wished more critics had picked up on and championed. This is a movie that made being smart cool. There are lots of critics who rightly dump on action movies because they’re so mindless, and mind-numbing. So when an action movie comes along, imperfections aside, that makes being smart cool, the intellectually honest thing to do is to call out the movie for that and champion at least that aspect of it. I really respected the first National Treasure for doing that. We are really at a point in our history when the smart people need to show up. People in general need to know that intellectualism is a good thing.

BR: In your book, you point to the much less successful movie The Core as almost the inverse of Armageddon, due to how it shows intellectuals in such a positive light.

EL: Yeah, the intellectuals solved the problem, and the writer of The Core, John Rogers, is a brilliant guy, a first class intellect. Yes, The Core is kind of a wonky movie, but he’s a good writer and he’s a physicist; he studied physics for crying out loud. The Core might be wonky, but give me that attitude over Armageddon’s any day.

BR: The entire point of Armageddon is almost saying: scientists can’t stop a giant asteroid from destroying the planet, but John McClane can.

EL: [Laughs] I don’t even mind the fact that “John McClane” is doing it, because these are action movies it’s the way science is portrayed. Why couldn’t science be portrayed in a healthier, more positive light? My problem is funny, because how do you reconcile being very passionate about anti-intellectualism, while being a scholar of action movies? It’s two things that shouldn’t exactly go together. Most people would argue that the action genre is inherently anti-intellectual, and to that my argument is “no,” action movies are not anti-intellectual, they are non-intellectual. They don’t care one way or the other about intellectualism, and that’s fine. What Bay does so often is refuse to sit on the sidelines, which Die Hard might, or Lethal Weapon might. He’s hostile toward intellectualism. In Armageddon, what bothers me is the scene where the scientists were pitching their other ideas. How hard would it have been to craft a scene where those ideas are introduced, and for logistical reasons, none of them are tenable, and then Bruce Willis and his team are the only option, as opposed to showing why all those ideas are ridiculous? It’s not that the movie can’t have a butch hero stopping the meteor; the problem is that you don’t need to make Bruce Willis look good by making the smart people look bad. It’s a very cynical view of the audience, and it’s a view of science and intellectualism that is full of contempt, but that’s what Michael Bay does when he talks about critics, or his education. Bay has made the point that critics don’t like him because he makes things like Armageddon and not Schindler’s List.

BR: Which isn’t true.

EL: That’s not true at all. They don’t like him because he makes bad “Armageddons.” Maybe the action movie is kind of handicapped critically, a weak drama is likely to do better critically than a good action movie, but a really good action film is still going to break through. One of the other charges leveled against Michael Bay is the racism in his movies, and I read about the robots with the gold teeth and such. Do I personally think he’s a racist? I have no idea, but I don’t think he is, I think he just has a corny, cynical sense of humor. What I thought was very interesting about the first Transformers was how that kind of hostility was still there, but some of it was sort of transferred over to adults. The kid’s parents were these big boobs, basically a strategy that Saturday morning television shows use. In shows like Saved By The Bell, and all those clones in the early ‘90s, they would display the adults in those situations as very “boobish” to kind of break children’s identification with adults and authority.

BR: Well, even though Transformers was a Saturday morning cartoon, in the sequel that is turned up to the maximum degree with the parents.

EL: A little comic relief is always a good thing, but when Michael Bay does it there’s a cynicism and a hostility pumping out of it. I will give him credit for one thing, the movies he makes are so enormous that getting a movie that big made, on time, on budget and on that release date is impressive. That doesn’t take a director, that takes a general, and he is that guy and I give him a lot of credit for that. I don’t think that’s an easy thing to do. A lot of people who might dismiss him in favor of directors of smaller, more personal dramas certainly might have a lot of grounds on which to do that, but he does have a very particular and very impressive skill set.

BR: In the last decade Judd Apatow has, in cinema, brought about the age of the Beta male, and even though he did it through comedy, do you think it reflects in action? We get a lot of action films starring “everymen” now, like Shia LaBeouf, which is ironic considering that Bruce Willis was once looked at as the “everyman” hero. In comparison to today’s action heroes, John McClane is a testosterone fueled muscle head.

EL: [Laughs] I think the function of the “everyman” in the action genre is safe. Their job now is to be the lens through which the audience looks at the real star of the show, which is the concept or special effects. With John McClane, and to a certain extent before him, Martin Riggs, going forward into the ‘90s, that trend of “everyman” was more pronounced because it was in contrast to the model of Schwarzenegger, Stallone, and Chuck Norris.

BR: Who are, as you say in the book, almost like machines themselves.

EL: Machines and supermen. They were the supermen before the genre got all superhero- happy. I think the role of the “everyman” in the late ‘80s to mid ‘90s was much more about that fundamental everyman quality, it wasn’t about making room for the concept, or the technology.

BR: What is your take on what Jason Statham has recently become? He is almost the last pure action star we have, discounting the action stars who have lasted since the classical period.

EL: I’ve liked him well enough in what I’ve seen. Time will tell if he’s a great action star, one who is going to endure, and become iconic. To know that is hard to tell, you have to have a longer track record that he hasn’t had time to amass yet. Another point is that you can’t really tell that until you know what his era looked like. We don’t know what this time is going to look like five, ten, twenty years from now.

BR: This is going to sound like an insult, but it’s not, I personally believe he is going to be looked back on as the Van Damme or Seagal of this era.

EL: Maybe, I think his movies, or his fate would be better if he was in sort of bigger productions that were less obviously B-movie in nature. I look at him right now as he is a little bit like Vin Diesel, not just cause of the hair. It feels like his career is happening, but it also feels like it could just short out. Time will tell. Yeah, he is sort of the last action hero right now, but you know what? Vin Diesel was before him. If it doesn’t happen for Statham, then someone else will come along to fill in his shoes. Film history has shown that there is always an appetite for stars, there’s always an appetite for action, whether you call it an action movie or not, whether the genre has fully formed yet or not. The genre, as I defined in the book, doesn’t really come into existence until the ‘70s, yet there was action from the very first movie. There have been movies since 1895, so does that mean that there was no action for 75 years? There was always an appetite, different modes come along to address that appetite, and that’s true of action, and as long as that’s true of action, it will be true of action stars.

BR: With Statham in mind, how do you feel about The Expendables?

EL: I’m looking forward to The Expendables. I love these kinds of exercises in nostalgia. Whenever the last installment was ten or fifteen years ago, I get so excited. I was even excited about Basic Instinct 2.

BR: [Laughs]

EL: Because of the sheer audacity of doing it thirteen years later.

BR: It can work. Look at The Color of Money.

EL: Oh yeah, it can work, I think 2010 worked great. So, yeah I am very much looking forward to The Expendables.

BR: Stallone has admitted that it’s going to be a “1980s action film.”

EL: As a matter of fact this might be the tiebreaker in a way because I thought that Rocky Balboa was really, very, very good and Rambo was really, very disappointing.

BR: I remember reading on your blog that you thought Rambo 4 wasn’t “silly” enough, which I would agree with.

EL: My problem with Rambo 4 was this: it had been 19 years since Rambo III and except for some of the specifics of the geopolitics of the movie, there was no reason why Rambo 4 couldn’t have been made in 1992. What I mean by that is, the movie did not reward the audience for having waited 19 years. I just showed my nephew, who is 8 years old, The Empire Strikes Back and he was very frustrated with the ending, because he doesn’t know what happens to Han Solo. I’m going to show him Return of the Jedi at Thanksgiving. I said to him that when I first saw The Empire Strikes Back the wait to see what happens was three years long, and you should have seen his face. He was stricken at that idea. The new Rambo was 19 years coming and there was nothing inherent to it that necessitated that wait. Rocky Balboa was about the passage of time; the story needs time to have passed so the audience is rewarded for that wait. Rambo 4 does that to the barest degree possible, and yes, from what I remember it was also a little too over earnest. The fact that it starts with stock footage, I think was a big mistake. I’m sitting there watching the actual atrocity, feeling really guilty, feeling like I should be out volunteering instead of sitting in a theater watching escapist faire like a Rambo movie.

BR: Your review was one of the only ones that I agreed with, only because some of that movie just seemed to put this enormous guilt trip on the viewer. Do you think that a campy or silly nature usually increases with action sequels? Even more so, should it?

EL: No, not necessarily, I don’t think you have to keep getting bigger and more ridiculous. That’s how things tend to evolve, but I don’t think they have to. I think it’s ok to use the movie to reflect on what’s come before and be serious about the characters and their lives, that’s fine. My problem wasn’t with the tone of the whole of Rambo, if he wants to take it in a serious direction, that was actually probably appropriate, because how much more ridiculous than Rambo III do you want to be?

BR: Have you heard that he announced a Rambo 5?

EL: Yeah, apparently Rambo 5 has been greenlit.

BR: Considering it was Rambo 4, and Stallone’s current career, admittedly it was a success, all things considered. Do you think he’s pushing his luck with a fifth movie?

EL: I think it’s probably going to dull the instrument a little bit. When you have a 19 year hiatus, and then you bring the character back, that’s pretty powerful, regardless of how successful the movie is.

BR: We’ve seen it so much this decade, it’s starting to feel commonplace.

EL: Yeah, and even less then a decade. It’s more like 3-5 years. When you bring the character back again, when you follow that up with another one, that element is now diluted.

BR: The nostalgia is not playing a part anymore.

EL: It’s reduced, and then what’s special about the movie? I think what winds up happening is that you lose the curiosity, and nostalgia factors, so now the movie just has to deliver. [laughs]

BR: Are there any other action films on the horizon that you are looking forward too?

EL: I hate to be a downer, I can’t think of anything I’m particularly excited about. All of the characters, all of the ‘80s action characters who’ve been brought back and who were ever going to be brought back have been brought back. I don’t think there’s a Lethal Weapon 5 in the pipeline.

BR: I think Joel Silver is still trying…

EL: I can’t imagine that it would happen. You can always hear rumors with internet reports and this or that, but I tend to only believe things when the cameras roll, and sometimes not even then. What I’m curious about is the remake of Red Dawn.

BR: Especially considering your book goes into such depth about Red Dawn. I’ll say this, before I read Action Speaks Louder I thought Red Dawn was a cheesy ‘80s movie. After reading it, Red Dawn became a different movie in my mind, and I haven’t even had the chance to revisit it yet. You kind of rewrote the movie in my mind.

[Both Laugh]

BR: It went from being nostalgia to an important piece of cinema that I need to revisit. If I can praise your book real quick, any movie you discuss in it, I wanted to revisit.

EL: I really appreciate that. Of the compliments I’ve received on the book, that is always my favorite. “You made me want to see this again, or that again.” I’m always very happy to hear that.

BR: Your book does that amazingly well. I watched Lethal Weapon twice right after I started reading it. I just haven’t had the chance to revisit Red Dawn and many others, basically just because you talk about so many films in the book. I think the politics of [Red Dawn] is something I was too young to appreciate.

EL: I’m very interested to hear that, because I think Red Dawn is a very good movie. Its critics are usually a little reactionary, no pun intended. I think it is exquisitely crafted. [Red Dawn] is much more ambivalent than people give it credit for. In the book I try not to come out too strongly for a movie or against a movie, at least not very explicitly, but there were times where I was trying to imply my feelings. Red Dawn and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome are good examples of that.

BR: [laughs] It’s funny that you say that, because your assessment of Beyond Thunderdome was probably one of the biggest stand outs for me, next to Red Dawn. Like most people I never gave much attention to the movie, basically since The Road Warrior is always the one that gets the reverence, you put Mad Max 3 in an entirely new light in your book.

EL: My take on those two movies back to back is this: The Road Warrior is a perfectly made movie, but what it’s trying to do is not especially original, and not especially grand. It is a perfect execution of a pretty conventional vision. Thunderdome is a wildly imperfect movie, but what it’s trying to do is so much grander and so much more interesting, and so much more beautiful. They compliment each other. I wish Thunderdome was more perfect. I admire the vision that it had, and it’s just exquisitely made, it’s beautiful. I hope there is a really nice Bluray of it in the pipeline.

BR: George Miller put a lot into those films, and it shows.

EL: I was very excited about Mad Max 4—especially when George Miller was going to be directing with Mel Gibson.

BR: While I agree it could be exciting, there is a lot of room for serious disappointment. I say that a lot these days though, post Indy 4.

EL: [Laughs]

BR: I’ll admit it, Indy 4 kind of soured me on the whole concept of bringing back these old franchises. I’ll still give them a chance. Rambo was fine, Die Hard 4 was fine…

EL: Well Die Hard 4 wasn’t a Die Hard movie. I thought Die Hard 4 could have been a lot worse, but I’ll tell you when I knew they were in trouble. It was when I saw the first picture of Bruce Willis with a shaved head. John McClane would not shave his head; Bruce Willis would. John McClane is proud, but he’s not vain. When I saw that I said to myself, “this isn’t about John McClane, this movie is about Bruce Willis in generic action star mode.” So, I was sort of preparing for the worst. That said, it was better then it could have been. What I liked best about it was its undercurrent of darkness. It was a pretty grim McClane, and I liked that.

BR: More grim then the alcoholic, smoking, pathetic, end of his rope John McClane of Die Hard 3?

EL: Yeah, I think in Die Hard 3 he is more of a burnout. This will sound strange, but I think in 3 there is sort of a more robust grimness. In 3 they put it front and center; I think they underplay it more in 4, which makes it a little bit more stirring.

BR: While I liked Live Free or Die Hard, I’ll admit it was kind of the John McClane I didn’t ask for. The character specifically. The one who got older, smarter, and cleaner. I prefer the one who is a mess, not the one who probably eats fiber every morning now. It’s just a personal preference.

EL: Well I think the problem was that in 1 and 3 he feels like John McClane, and in 4 he feels like Bruce Willis.

BR: Do you have plans to write another book? Would it involve film?

EL: Yes, I have a few projects down the line. I just actually finished writing an essay on the Rocky series for an academic anthology, which is not due out for quite a while unfortunately. That was a lot of fun. There are a few other ideas that I’m developing that are on the scale of Action Speaks Louder, but they’re in the embryonic stage right now. I’m not talking about them too much yet, I’m still trying to figure out exactly how the research would go, and even if they are doable. They are in a very similar vein of talking about film over time, but through a very specific lens.

That’s all folks. I want to thank Eric Lichtenfeld for his time and the interview. Thanks for reading!

CHICAGO - We’re approaching an entertainment apocalypse as the new four horsemen arrive on the hill: Redbox, Comcast, Marketeers and Spencer Pratt. In a decade, we’re going to be watching puppet shows on network TV and not even Jeff Dunham level puppet shows. But let’s give a run down of trainwrecks that will claim the lives of entertainment business models.

Redbox is a simple concept - a kiosk that allows you to rent a hot new DVD title for a $1 a day. There will be 20,000 of them across the country in grocery stores, drugstores and Wal-marts by the end of the year. They’re a mini-Blockbuster that’s doesn’t required a zit-faced dreamer to run the register. What’s the problem with Redbox? It’s killing to DVD sales market faster than Blockbuster and Netflix. Having Redbox inside Wal-Mart wrecks the impulse buying temptation of the giant sale bin. Are you going to pay $15 for Transformers 2 when you can merely rent it on the way out the store for $1? It’s getting harder for a producer to declare, “It’ll turn a profit on video!” Films are tanking on DVD that would have made a profit in the VHS rental days. Because of the limited space inside the Redbox machine, non-blockbuster films finding themselves being squeezed out. Small films are getting miniature exposure on DVD. I haven’t seen a fat ass royalty check for my deconstruction producing work on Moving Midway after it hit DVD. This lack of revenue will kill interest in any small production that doesn’t have Tyler Perry’s name in the title. The offer money will dry up for mid-level and indie films if the studios don’t see DVD as a true revenue source. Word is studios want to restructure so DVDs won’t be rentable until a month after they’ve been released for sales. The one good piece of news about Redbox is that it’s making Blockbuster CEO Keyes look like the captain of the Titanic after he had the nerve to trash talk me to his backers.

Marketing departments have sucked the fun out of cinema. These are the guys who run the studio - not the creative dorks. The Marketeers don’t want to release a movie that they actually have promote creatively. They want audience recognition of the source material before a greenlight. They’re more satisfied cranking out films based on old TV shows, not so old movie or toys that their mothers want to throw out. Of course they hit paydirt on Transformers 2 since that touched on all three of those principals. They’re now developing Monopoly as a feature film? Sure Mario Puzo did it as a joke 30 years ago to prove studio executives were morons. Now the children of these executives are as dumb as daddy. Imagine the crowds going nuts when the Thimble lands on Park Place and has to pay the hotel rate! Thanks to loser in marketing, expect to be unwhelmed by Snuggie: The Movie next Christmas. When they get a creative film that isn’t based on those three elements, they tank the promotion and hope it finds an audience on DVD like Idiocracy.

Comcast buying NBC-Universal will be a worse conglomerate marriage than when AOL dry humped Time-Warner. Comcast barely has any business being in the world of cable channels. Have you seen what they’ve done to E! and G4 over the years? Versus is an extremely poor man’s version of ESPN. How can Comcast run a network, a movie studio, news channels and a dozen peacock branded cable channels? You think NBC is cheap with the Jay Leno Show? After Comcast takes over Burbank, they’ll have Jay’s set reduced to a green screen as he mocks Tyra Banks clips. What really makes me fear Comcast taking over is their insistence that Jeff Zucker won’t be replaced. He’s the man who has overseen NBC’s implosion to the point where 30 Rock lost out to Jeff Dunham’s puppets in the ratings. I’d rather hear Ryan Seacrest is the new CEO of NBC with Law and Order: Kardashians.

The final horseman of the Entertainment Apocalypse is Spencer Pratt. He gains this honor not because he’s the third biggest douchebag on reality TV. What makes Pratt so destructive is his label deal with Warner Music Group. That was the day the music died. What qualifies him to such a sweet gig? He’s the mastermind behind his talentless wife’s music. Anyone who ever had a dream of signing to a major label needs to just switch to their “safety dream.” The music industry will never recover from associating with him. Clive Davis might have had golden ears. Spencer Pratt has TB throat.

Now that we can see the major movie studios, DVD distributors, TV networks and music labels on the verge of implosions, let’s focus on the bright side of this story. Now is the time for people to just do things themselves. In the 21st Century, you can get your work seen, heard and read around the globe without paying a fortune in postage. Maybe you won’t have a massive budget to create stuff. But so what? Comcast won’t give you millions although they might loan you a green screen. As far as returns go, it’s not like the majors won’t be screwing you with every royalty statement as they prove your film hasn’t come close to making a profit. DIY will be the only hope of surviving the four horsemen. Entertain each other before the major bore you to death.

FAUX TESTAMENT

According to a Wikipedia entry, Rabbi Shmuley is really Robert Steadman, a former Methodist minister from Ohio. He was exposed as a fraud when neighbors reported that during the Christmas holidays, he doesn’t go to the movies or have Chinese food.

OPEN LETTER TO SODERBERGH

Dear Steven Soderbergh,

The next time you have a major porn star playing a hooker in an R-rated movie, would you mind giving us at least one simulated sex scene? I sat through The Girlfriend Experience after watching Sasha Grey’s early work that’s on the internet. I wanted to know if she’d become the next Traci Lords and Ginger Lynn Allen. Instead of enjoying a film that ought to be reason why DVD scientists invented the frame-advance button, I was throughly bored. Was the script based on stereo installation instructions? You had a 20 minute film padded out to 80 minutes with all the wrong things. Where was the hot shower scene? The chilling hot tub moment? Maybe you have dreams of being emulating ’70s filmmakers with your disjointed editing style, but enough! I rented a film starring a major porn star playing a hooker that was rated R and not once did I slip into Cinemax After Dark mode. Now I know how Harvey Weinstein felt when he snuck into 400 Blows thinking it was a porn film.

As a little bit of advice, Soderbergh - don’t ever make another R-rated movie about a hooker being played by a porn star if you’re not going to give me the goods. The goal of these kinds of movies is to inspire your audience to wank - not for you to perform an “I’m a genius” tugjob in the editing room. Watch a Radley Metzger film to see how it’s really done.

LIFE SKILLS

OOOPPPPSSSS

Turns out Dan Aykroyd’s vodka brand is Crystal Head. This makes no sense since he sells you the booze in a skull bottle. That’s not a head - it’s a skull. Probably someone already has the trademark on Crystal Skull so he had to go with a back up name. To me it’s Crystal Skull. If you ask the liquor store for Crystal Skull vodka, they’ll give you Dan’s brand.

THE MARK OF THE Z

Disney Treasures series has been a DVD salvation over the last decade as the Mouse House neglects their heritage on 5 different cable channels. Each Disney Treasures wave normally consists of three or four titles that vary from animated theatrical shorts to live action shows from the Disneyland TV series. For Wave 9, there’s only two boxsets and they have the same subject: Zorro! Zorro: The Complete First Season 1957-1958 and Zorro: The Complete Second Season 1958-1959 gives us all the episodes and hour long specials featuring the dashing masked hero of old California.

Guy Williams (Professor John Robinson from Lost In Space) is Don Diego de la Vega. He returns from Spain to help his dad’s ranch operation in Southern California. Turns out the colony is turning nasty as Captain Monastario and other fat cats are corrupt. Diego has very little recourse since everyone in government is on the take. In such a moment of distress, Diego fights back by putting on a black mask and outfit. He becomes Zorro, the man who fights for the little guy. He uses his sword to cut a “Z”s whenever his mark is needed. His only real help is Bernardo (Gene Sheldon). The mute servant is faithful to both Diego and Zorro. Amongst the evil soldiers that do the various heavies business is a bit of slapstick in the form of the rotund Sgt. Garcia (Henry Calvin). He’s the early version of Sgt. Schultz. He’s the guy who gets the “Z” cut into his uniform during the opening credits.

The half hour show was a major hit when it aired. Walt Disney didn’t go cheap with his series. The sets look like they were designed for a major motion picture. There’s lots of location work instead of rear projection. There’s a dashing charm to the show as it comes off as more cinematic than stage bound. Guy Williams always delivers the sword fighting action. He defines macho with or without the black mask. He rocks the mustache. Each season had 39 episodes, but they weren’t merely stand alone shows. Many times, the episodes were serialized from a big adventure. This kept the shows from falling into a tempo rut. The first season established the origins and early adventures of Zorro. The second season has more guest stars including Cesar Romero in “The Gay Caballero.” Annette Funicello pops up for a few episodes. In a preview of Williams’ next series, Jonathan Harris (Lost In Space’s Dr. Smith) in “Zorro and the Mountain Man.” Even though the show was a sensation, it only ran for two seasons when ABC and Walt Disney had issues over certain rights. By the time it cleared up, Walt felt the Zorro craze was dying down. Instead of making a third season, he made four Zorro specials that would be part of the Walt Disney Presents series. These are on the boxsets. Each season of Zorro is spread across 6 DVDs.

There are bonus features hosted by Leonard Maltin that explore the history of the show, the wardrobe and a tribute to Guy Williams. Getting the complete Zorro collection at once is a relief after the previous Disney Treasures only contained a fraction of “Elfego Baca” and “Swamp Fox” episodes in Wave 5. If you have any interest in these sets, grab them now. There’s only 30,000 copies of each in the limited edition release. Last year’s Dr. Syn set had 39,500 copies. It sold out within weeks and is now being sold for around $200 for merely 2 DVDs. Zorro: The Complete First Season 1957-1958 and Zorro: The Complete Second Season 1958-1959 are must grabs.

BLU-RAY HEAVEN

Food, Inc - Blu-ray is the scariest documentary of the year. Ever wonder what it takes for the food to end up in the supermarket? Forget those tales of Old McDonald’s farm. This movie takes us through the real process of chicken, hamburgers, corn and soybeans. It peeks around the agri-stock factories that can barely be called farms. They’re merely cogs on the conveyor belt for servicing the billions served at McDonalds. Wonder why every other week there’s an e-coli outbreak in the news whether it be peanuts, spinach or hamburger? The reason becomes evident in the race to create cheaper food. What’s frightening is that the makers don’t even have to explain “what goes in a hotdog” to gross you out. The biggest revelation is the politics of soybeans. Monsanto created a pesticide and then a genetically altered soybean that could survive that pesticide. Their patented soybean seeds are completely controlled by the company. Monsanto will destroy any farmer that dares to reuse their spare seeds in an upcoming planting season. They will destroy any farmer whose natural soybeans accidentally become hybrids through pollination. Monsanto comes off as the Goldman-Sachs of agriculture with their former employees sneaking into important government gigs. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas worked for Monsanto as a lawyer. That connection didn’t cause him to recuse himself from an important Monsanto case. In fact he wrote the majority opinion for his old boss. Luckily this is not a complete doom and gloom flick. There is hope in farmers that want to raise livestock the right way. You might want to watch this film on a weekend since your natural impulse will be to hit the nearest farmers market for veggies that come straight from the field. The bonus features include deleted scenes and a Nightline episode. In the 1080p vision, you’ll get an eyeful of details from inside chicken shacks and killing floors.

The Answer Man - Blu-ray has Jeff Daniel playing the author of Me and God. The book dealt with his conversation with the big guy and was a sensation two decades ago. Now he’s a slight recluse and a major jerk. Throwing his back out leads him to the eager hands of Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls). She’s struggling as a single mom. She takes a liking to Daniels without knowing about his book. Is he going to be open to more than a spine straightening? Can he handle a kid without getting crabby? It’s a casually paced romantic comedy that doesn’t overplay its hand thanks to the leads. Kat Dennings pops up. The Blu-ray allows her to glow on the screen. The bonus features include a commentary track with Graham and a documentary about how the film came about.

THE DVD SHELF

Disney Mickey’s Magical Christmas: Snowed In at the House of Mouse is an hour long holiday special at Mickey’s nightclub. There’s plenty of winter themed shorts including iconic Disney characters. Donald and his nephews belt out snowman. They break out the old “Pluto’s Christmas Tree” cartoon with Pluto and Mickey battling Chip N Dale over a pine tree. They include the Mickey Mouse version of A Christmas Carol with Scrooge McDuck playing Scrooge. How did he luck into that gig? The big bonus is the premiere episode of House of Mouse. A nice holiday distraction for the kids and Disneyphiles.

JAG: The Ninth Season is the penultimate season of the Naval law show. The season opens with the resolution of “A Tangled Webb” episode. David James Elliot and Catherine Bell are stuck in Paraguay hunting down Sadik the terrorist. There’s a lot of emotions being stirred up in the jungle between Elliot and Bell. “Shifting Sands” has Elliot messed up when he returns to D.C. and finds his resignation has been processed. Is he out of a job? “The One Who Got Away” puts the unit in the middle of a North Korean hot spot. “Touchdown” has an airlift out of Libya. “People v. SecNav” places Elliot inside the terrifying International Criminal Court as he defends America against the world. There’s 23 episodes spread over 6 DVDs.

The Untouchables Season Three, Volume Two brings more raw justice from Eliot Ness and his crew of gangbusters. “Takeover” has John Banner (Hogan’s Heroes‘ Sgt. Schultz) running a non-alcoholic brewery. But who can be satisfied making near beer? Enter Robert Loggia (The Sopranos) and his secret how to put the kick back in the lager. The ultimate thrill is seeing Leonard Nimoy as a hitman. “The Stryker Brothers” are a trio of bottom feeders that impress the mob with their skills. The youngest brother is Frank Sutton (Gomer Pyle’s Sgt. Carter). “Element of Danger” has Lee Marvin cutting dope. Lee looks like a natural when facing off with Robert Stack. “The Case Against Eliot Ness” makes Sid Haig a hitman. “The Contract” puts a hit on Frank Sutton as he’s now Smiley Barris. “The Monkey Wrench” goes ape with Claude Akins (Battle for the Planet of the Apes) being nutty in Chi-Town. This boxset has 12 glorious black and white episodes on 3 DVDs.

Nash Bridges The Third Season firmly establishes Don Johnson as the title character and not merely an extension of his role on Miami Vice. He’s lost that brooding feeling. And how can one brood when their cruising around San Francisco with Cheech Marin? The contact high off smelling his shirt ought to put a buzzed smile on your face. “Lost and Found” introduces the Kelly Hu (Top Chef Masters) as Inspector Michelle Chan. She’s deep cover in a stolen car ring. Nash needs her help to locate stolen military weapons. Cheech’s car gets blown up real good in the opening. Willie Nelson pops up as a convict sprung from San Quentin to nab his old partner in “Payback.” The smoke cloud over the trailer when Cheech and Wille practiced their lines together must blocked the sun from touching the Golden Gate Bridge. There’s music replacement, but somehow the lack of songs makes me not confuse this with Vice.

7th Heaven: The Ninth Season gives us more antics from the minister’s family. Stephen Collins (Star Trek: The Motion Picture) can barely keep sane. He’s got kids moving back in with a baby on the way. Nothing like having a newborn in the house to keep things interesting with sleep deprived characters zombie walking into the kitchen. They’ve got new kids roaming the rooms. The twins are now in school so there’s grammar school grief. The big highlight is a singing, dancing musical episode for Valentine’s Day. There’s 2 more seasons to go. Twenty two episodes are spread over 5 DVDs in this boxset.

Gabriel Iglesias: I’m Not Fat…I’m Fluffy Live From El Paso lets the large comic explode with manic routines that revolve around food, his girlfriend and more food. Iglesias breaks down a new level of flat that’s above “fluffy” and “damn.” He reminds us that you shouldn’t let your girlfriend spend a night alone with a bottle of wine and Cheaters on TV. The guy does an amazing set of voices on stage to create characters. He’s like Jonathan Winters without losing focus. He becomes the snide women working the hotel’s front desk at night. He might have one of the best tales of hanging with Paul Rodriguez that involves tacos, strippers and border cops. The DVD gives the 68 minute show along with an 8 minute deleted bit about his high school reunion.

The Best of Star Trek: The Original Series: Volume 2 beams down another 4 episodes from the original show. “Where No Man Has Gone Before” is the second pilot done for the series. Gary Lockwood (2001) and Sally Kellerman (Back to School) become silver eyed gods and they’re bent on taking down Captain Kirk (William Shatner). “Space Seed” is essential viewing for anyone who has seen Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan since this is the birth of Khan (Ricardo Montalban). He and his crew are defrosted from suspended animation. Turns out they weren’t nice folks back in the day. Khan wants to take over the Enterprise. “A Piece of the Action” allowed the futuristic series to dip into the props from The Untouchables. Kirk and Spock beam down into a planet that has based it’s culture on Al Capone. “Journey to Babel” brings Spock’s dad on board for a diplomatic summit. The 4 episodes on this DVD are from the remastered transfers with CGI ships replacing the old model effects. This is a good gift for people who want to learn more about the show after seeing the re-imagining Star Trek.

The Best of Star Trek: The Next Generation, Volume 2 has 4 episodes from the Riker-Picard era. “Relics” is the most important of the batch since it brings back Scotty (James Doohan) from the original series. He’s stuck on a shipwreck. “The Inner Light” has an amnesiac Picard wake up to a wife on a new planet. What is the mystery behind this other life? “Cause and Effect” gives us a space-time anomaly. “Tapestry” has Picard bite it. His only hope lies in the power of Q to let him change time. Can he afford to alter things to save his own life? It’s a fine sample of the second series voyage of the Enterprise.

One Christmas is a holiday tradition in my house because my brother was an extra in it. The film is based on a Truman Capote story. The story has a young boy going from his home in Alabama to visit relatives in New Orleans for Christmas. This is a little bit of a shock for the boy. The film has the final performance from Katharine Hepburn. Although in our house, we gather around so that Matt can tell us the heartwarming tale about how he got his haircut at the same time as Henry Winkler. They sat in neighboring barber chairs. My brother got to swap idle chitcat with the Fonz. During the trimming, Fonzie got news that his show Monty had been picked up. He was so excited to get another sitcom. This would be an amazing Christmas story except Monty got canned after only 6 of the 13 episodes aired. At least the DVD is now going to be out so we don’t have to watch the VHS that mom accidentally taped at EP speed. In DVD, we can freeze frame my brother’s big background extra moment.

Predators is the Animal Planet series about what happens when people encounter animals that aren’t ready for the petting zoo. “After the Attack” has people discussing what it was like to be nearly turned into a snack. “Up Close and Dangerous” has wilderness filmmakers recount the most temperamental of TV stars. Christian Bale wasn’t nearly as nasty as the talent that turned on these cameramen. Killer Crocs of Costa Rica follows a croc through motherhood. It’s kinda like Knocked Up for a future luggage set.

Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at Quick Stop. Every Wednesday, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!

In conjunction with Sideshow Collectibles, we’re giving away one (1) DARKWING DUCK maquette, by Electric Tiki.

In conjunction with Titan Books, we’re giving away three (3) copies of STAR TREK: THE ART OF THE FILM.

In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of FUNNY PEOPLE on DVD.

In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of FUNNY PEOPLE on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December 9th.

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December, 9th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

In conjunction with Titan Books, we’re giving away three (3) copies of STAR TREK: THE ART OF THE FILM.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December 9th.

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December 9th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

In conjunction with Sideshow Collectibles, we’re giving away one (1) DARKWING DUCK maquette, by Electric Tiki.

Based on the Darkwing Duck animated series, the Electric Tiki Darkwing Duck Statue is hand cast in high quality polystone and hand painted to exacting standards. It is packaged in a durable foam interior and a beautiful full color box. Don’t miss this chance to add the Darkwing Duck Statue to your collection!

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December 9th.

PLEASE NOTE: If you enter this contest, you are also signing up for Sideshow Collectibles’ newsletter. You can always unsubscribe whenever you want, but it’s full of great news, giveaways, exclusives, and announcements.

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December 9th.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

What happens when two young men let their love of movies, comic books, and all things “geek” take over their lives? They run away from their families, bringing only the most essential DVDs and comics to their secret, highly fortified underground bunker in sunny Southern California, where they start recording podcasts that will change the world.

Are they heroes?

No.

Are they geniuses?

Far from it.

Are they the future of this planet?

I sure hope not.

Simply put… Matt Cohen and Jesse Rivers are “Bagged and Boarded”.

BAGGED & BOARDED GO COMMENTATIN’: Beetlejuice - In which Matt and Jesse take a break from annoying each other to annoy each other while BEETLEJUICE plays in the background.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode Stand By Me (MP3 format) – 86.87 MB

SUBSCRIBE
Subscribe to this Podcast via iTunes

Got something to say? E-mail Matt & Jesse at the B & B mailbag.

CLICK HERE FOR THE BAGGED & BOARDED ARCHIVES

##

We here at Quick Stop Entertainment are true lovers of music, in all its forms. We’re also quite keen on the spirit of competition, and of spurring creativity through said competition.

To that end, we launched a unique form of creative combat here at the Stop.

In this age of manufactured and painfully earnest talent contests, we’ve decided to instead shine a light on the quirky, quixotic underworld of musicians that don’t get nearly the attention they deserve.

Ah, but I did mention that there was a competition involved…

Like a songwriting version of Iron Chef, the competitors will be presented with a very specific songwriting challenge. They’ll be given one week to complete their songs - however they see fit, within the parameters set forth - after which time the entries will be uploaded to Quick Stop to be voted on by you, the audience.

Oh, and what do we call this competition?

MASTERS OF SONG FU

Let us not forget the very special Masters of MASTERS OF SONG FU. Think of them as the iron chefs of Song Fu - one of which will be revealed as your ultimate challenger in THE FINAL CHALLENGE. Past Masters have included Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Neil Innes, The RiffTones, and Garfunkel & Oates. Any one of them could be your final Challenge - or perhaps it could be a brand new Master. Only the Challenger who garners the most cumulative votes in all of the Challenges will move on to the Final and face that Master, mano a mano.

So what was the first Challenge?

ROUND 1 CHALLENGE

This is a bit of a fun one. Your first task is based upon the work of Friend-of-the-Stop John Hodgman - specifically, the “700 MOLE MEN” listed in his second book, More Information Than You Require. You’ll find the full list of “700 Mole Men” - and their descriptions - HERE. Your task is to choose one (1) and write a song about that Mole Man, based on the description provided by Hodgman. The title of your song will be the name of the Mole Man you’ve chosen, and its corresponding number on the list. You are free to write your song in any style that you choose.

That’s it. The only other directive is that your song must run no shorter than 1 minute.

THE CHALLENGERS

GOVERNING DYNAMICS

Governing Dynamics is the name of Travis Norris’s eternal sideproject, where all the stuff written by him goes when his current band (whatever it may be) refuses to play it. The music has been favorably compared to such bands as Eels, Radiohead, The White Stripes, and other bands that cool people like. It has been unfavorably compared to the tactics used by the FBI against the Branch Dividians at Waco. If he has to describe his music by genre (and refer to himself in third person) Travis calls it “alternative/shoegazer with a liberal dose of Midwestern rock”.
Official Website: governingdynamics.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/travisnorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#288 Polly The Exhumer”

JASON MORRIS

I suppose I am what you could call a “Multi-Instrumentalist”. That is a nice way of saying “Jack-of-all-trades, Master-of-none”. I began playing drums as a teenager and spent a great deal of energy during my 20’s trying to “make it” in the music biz. As a drummer, I have had the opportunity to play with some pretty incredible musicians, garnering literally DOZENS of fans over the years. In 2004 I joined the band Celestial Static, and spent several years melting some face with good friends Jeremy and Julie Elzerman. Once that ran its course, I decided to spend more time locked away in my studio, writing my own songs and learning to play guitar, bass and sing. It doesn’t pay the bills, but I have a good time doing it.
Official Website: www.jason-morris.net
Twitter: twitter.com/JasonLMorris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#019 Thomas Ashley Innersun”

EDRIC HALEEN

Edric is a returning veteran of the Masters of Song Fu competition. He has been writing music (off and on) since the early nineties. He wrote and directed a musical, The Pushcart War, based on Jean Merrill’s wonderful novel. He has written and/or arranged a number of songs for various friends - some commissioned, some as surprises. He loves acting in community theatre, and is inspired by the music of Stephen Sondheim, Jason Robert Brown, Adam Guettel, Lynn Ahrens and Stephen Flaherty. Also - feel free to check out (and add to!) the “Happiness Board” on his web pages!
Official Website: happinessboard.com/Edric_Haleen.html
ROUND 1 SONG: “#138 Sir Isaac Quickmud”

“BUCKETHAT” BOBBY MATHESON

I’m “BucketHat” Bobby Matheson. I used to make cartoons for the internet, and sometimes still do, but mostly focus on my music right now. I write and record my songs solo, in my little make-shift studio, and when I play live, I often get some help from friends. Some of my music is funny, and some isn’t. More often than not, the humour is unintentional. My Influences range from Klezmer to folk, to punk and back again, which ends up sounding more like Zydeco than anything else (who’d have guessed?). I’ve been described as a “Cajun Buddy Holly” and an “Optimistic Elvis Costello”. It’s been said that I sound like “That guy from the Barenaked Ladies” and a “Nasaly Bob Dylan”. One of these days, I hope to have a description that is accurate.
Official Website: www.buckethatbobby.randomsociety.com
Twitter: twitter.com/BucketHatBobby
ROUND 1 SONG: “#139 Mr. Genuine Hissfurther”

TYLER MASSEY

Tyler Massey is an uncomplicated person. He likes to sip Cristal and polish his yacht collection. He enjoys the simple things in life, like stepping on snails barefoot and nude origami. He wishes that he had a proper Hobo Name, and is open to suggestions.
Official Website: www.tylermassey.co.uk
Twitter: twitter.com/tylermassey
ROUND 1 SONG: “#429 Mr Roughfingers and his ‘Louse’-estra”

GODZ POODLZ

Legends foretell of a mighty duo, born in the frozen North. Two neighbors and friends will unite to form “Godz Poodlz” and battle the Mazters or Song Fu for glory and bragging rights! Godz Poodlz are Rüss Rogers and Rod Durre. Russ Rogers was once a member of “Kit and Kaboodle” (still available on iTunes) and currently performs in “Rusty’s Rocking Jamboree!” Rhod Durre was in the Goth Rock Band, “Sear!” Beware the Godz Poodlz Ear Worm! Godz Poodlz songs are bright, funny and tenaciously catchy. Come join Godz Poodlz Legionz of Fanz!
Official Website: www.myspace.com/godzpoodlz
ROUND 1 SONG: “#381 Captain Dane Frostline”

BRAM TANT

Bram Tant is a Belgian coputer science student with a distinct love for music. Ever since going to music school as a kid, he’s enjoyed singing and playing the guitar, and has been writing songs for some years now. While he’s still learning to play the guitar, sing and write songs better, he improves with each attempt, and he makes up for it (and the lack of proper recording equipment) with his passion and enthusiasm. He would like to become a professional musician someday, but for now he’s satisfied with writing and performing for friends, family, and strangers on the internet.
Official Website: studwww.ugent.be/~btant/

Twitter: twitter.com/dantesxx
ROUND 1 SONG: “#666 Tommy Dickfish”

STEVE CHATTERTON

Hi, my name is Steve Chatterton, the quintessential one-man-band singer/songwriter net-based recording project. Mom always said I marched to the sound of a different drummer, but she never mentioned which one. Dad had a fondness for bagpipes. Fortunately, neither of them have any direct influence on my music. Specializing in quirky little guitar-oriented pop songs about bugs, the Scooby gang, pirates, palindromes, superheroes, old movies, infectious diseases, imaginary friends and sideshow freaks, I guess you could say I pretty much write love songs. I’m a cheesy bastard at heart. I’m a stay-at-home dad who’s looking to find more time in the studio when my youngest starts school in September. I have an ever-expanding back catalog (at least 3 albums worth & counting) I’m dying to share with the world one download at a time.
Official Website: www.stevechatterton.com
Twitter: twitter.com/SteveChatterton
ROUND 1 SONG: “#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown”

MANTICESS

Manitcess are Susanne Wolff (Lupa) on vocals and Johannes Schult (Jutze) on guitar. The duo plays melodic song somewhere between pop, folk and rock. Melodies are more important than trends. The band has already played various gigs in Germany and Switzerland and is eager to entertain - or better to enchant their audience with their musical tales.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/manticess
Twitter: twitter.com/schult
ROUND 1 SONG: “#423 Red”

JARRETT HEATHER

Although he has no formal training, Jarrett is an accomplished pianist who has been composing music for nearly twenty years. A relative newcomer to the world of online amateur competitive songwriting, he burst onto the scene earlier this year when he filled out an entry form just before the deadline. While earning his living as a graphic artist and website developer, Jarrett secretly dreams of leaving behind the glamor and prestige of internet publishing so he can focus on composing music for songwriting contests full-time.
Official Website: www.spaceparanoids.net
Twitter: twitter.com/SpaceParanoids
ROUND 1 SONG: “#042 Miss Claudia Inward Burrowdown”

AUDIOMOHEL

Forged in the furnace of irony, molded with the hammer of satire, flattened on the anvil of righteousness, and cooled in the water of awesomeness, AudioMohel was thrust upon the world. Named from the lost audio transcripts of ‘09, AudioMohel serves as a public-service backlash against the anti-circumcision trend sweeping the so-called “enlightened parents” crowd, AudioMohel urges their more devoted and impressionable fans to undergo the snip two or even three times. AudioMohel enjoys experimenting with new breakthrough genres like speed blues and death classical even though most of AudioMohel’s tunes reside firmly in the ethereal realm of vapor-ware.
Official Website: www.AudioMohel.com
Twitter: twitter.com/AudioMohel
ROUND 1 SONG: “#471 Mr. Armskin”

JALAPENO HABANEROS

In the far off land of Chandler, Arizona, where the rivers flow with sand and cacti, our leader and master, the Lord of Our Lady Gwynyth, guitar and microphone in hand, called for the greatest musicians in the land to assemble a rock and roll group like none other. Unfortunately, they were cut off on the road, and the Jalapeño Habañeros made it there first. With The Rogue Bohemian on saxophone and The Boxcar Bassist on bass and keyboards, the Lord was pleased. Now, they roam the streets of Chandler, playing epic songs and rocking faces, much like Bon Jovi. Unfortunately they are paid in change, and often get thrown into the street, also like Bon Jovi. Their lives have intertwined, and the era of the Jalapeño Habañeros has begun. Be prepared.
Official Website: jalapenojabaneros.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”

TIMOTHY RUSH

Hi, my name is Timothy. I like me. I like my school, I like my friends. I like to play the music. I very much enjoy the peoples. Thank you.

Official Website: www.myspace.com/tweed234
Twitter: twitter.com/TimmyVendetta
ROUND 1 SONG: “#006 Sir Stinson Maggotwrangle”

JUBILEE JEWS

They are not some traveling country hillbilly act. They are celebrating the year of Jubilee in the form of ukulele based indie pop. They are Akiva Misto and Eliana Bartimeus and they are prepared to rock your yarmulkes!
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#487 Lady Antonia Oddpolyps”

GORBZILLA

Gorbzilla is a musician/band teacher in Mid-Michigan. He has been in a few bands over the years, most notably as the bass player/vocalist for the band “Satin Jones” and the guitarist/vocalist for the band “Jimmy Likes Pie”. The proud father of two future rock maniacs, Gorbzilla has been writing music for the past twenty years, and is currently working on his first musical Beer – Finally a Musical for Men based on the Haiku by Patrick “Horkmeister” Sweet entitled, “I Think I Threw Up”. He has been happily married for eight years, and is looking forward to this competition.
Official Website: gorbzilla.blogspot.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#414 Nick Nolte”

PETER BENEDICT

Peter is a person of sorts. Since his birth he has consistently occupied himself with a variety of time consuming and completely un-noteworthy activities. Despite this breadth of experience he remains untalented in the ways of writing all encompassing 600 word essays. He does, however, greatly enjoy the rare treat that is writing about oneself in the third person, especially when such a gift should be presented to him at the wonderful time of 4AM. Peter now supposes that since this a musical competition he is entering, he might want to include something about that in his bio. At the way too old age of 18, Peter first attempted to play music. His guitar teacher warned him that he was much to old to begin training, and that he would probably be an emotionally unstable musician that would eventually turn to the dark side. Peter took no heed to this warning, and indeed dropped out of guitar lessons fairly quickly, realizing that he enjoyed learning much more when done alone. In the year and a half since then, Peter has been on a steady rise and will no doubt be taking the musical world by storm in the coming year. Perhaps his greatest musical moment came in December of 2008, when his Christmas caroling band, The Sizzle, took his small hick town by storm with a door to door tour through the suburbs, melting the figurative face of listeners with a funk/rap cover of Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer. In 2009 Peter has become active in the youtube community, known not for his music but for his notorious use of stop-motion eating scenes and a DIY laugh track. Hoping to hone his barely existing musical skills through the pressure of competition, Peter joins Round 5 of Song Fu. He sincerely hopes that rewriting this bio at a later date will be an option. The Peter Is Competing.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/thepeteris
Twitter: twitter.com/thepeteris
ROUND 1 SONG: “#315 Mr. Dennimore Evercrouch”

CRAIG RICHIE

At the ripe age of 19, this strapping young lad has been song writing for two years now. With his mates Meredith and Cornelius (guitar and ukulele, respectively), Craig Richie is prepared to join the ranks of the Song Fu warriors. Finding strong influences from former masters JoCo and Molly Lewis, as well as pinches of Kimya Dawson and Elvis Costello, this boy’s got a perspective on the world to share.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/craigtotherichie
ROUND 1 SONG: “#275 Mr. Owen Daylight”

JOSH HOLOBER-WARD

Josh was born in Canada, which probably explains more about him than anything else he could put in a bio. He plays the accordion, is self-taught on the piano, and highly enjoys playing and writing for both - though he rarely finishes anything without a deadline. With this grueling contest, he hopes to push himself to unleash the best Fu he possibly can… and hell, maybe even some he impossibly can. YARRR!
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/PossessedRaccoon
ROUND 1 SONG: “#422 Mokey”

AARON Z

Many folks say that Aaron Z is a pretty cool guy. He plays too many instruments, but mostly piano & guitar. He wastes too much of his free time writing and performing music, which has been known to make people laugh, tough men cry, and ladies melt in his arms. His current projects include Orange Box: The Musical! and A Tribute to the Letter E. He likes food cooked with mushrooms and his favorite ice-creams are vanilla-based, not chocolate-based. Check out his music, including his previously-weekly but now faux-weekly music project on his website, plus his other cool music.
Official Website: aaronz.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#590 Harvey Rupert Elder”

SPENCER SOKOL

Spencer is trying to do things. Music is one of those things. It is painfully obvious to him, if not others, that he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. In the past he has been musically inclined with a guitar and occasionally with a piano. He is trying to be musically active once again, but this time he is attempting to do so while on the Internets. Creating music is a large part of his 40×40 list and he thinks this competition seems like “a Super Mega Happy Fun way” to rekindle his musical desires.
Official Website: www.spencersokol.com
Twitter: twitter.com/spencersokol
ROUND 1 SONG: “#298 Mr. Deadend”

JOE “COVENANT” LAMB

I’m Joe Covenant. I’m Scottish. And never have enough time to do everything I wanna! Been singing and perfoming for over 40 years… (yes, I am 46.)… and I’ve nearly learned a 6th chord! Everything I do. I do for Song Fu. (If not for this ‘contest’ I would have never met and collaborated with so many talented people.)
Official Website: joecovenant.bandcamp.com
Twitter: twitter.com/JoeCovenant
ROUND 1 SONG: “#297 Mr. Tom Furby”

LEX VADER

Lex Vader was born to a single mother who worked as silicon tycoon’s personal assistant. When she died of poor hygiene, Lex was sent to an orphanage where he showed interest in organizing races and laser fencing. After being recruited into a religious order, he spent the next few years between several of their private schools. In his final year, Lex lost his hand in an argument with a professor over Kryptochlorians. Despite this, Lex was able to achieve a successful business career and even a knighthood. Tragedy struck, however, when a former classmate’s arctic home caught fire during a business lunch, scarring half of Lex’s face. At this point, Lex’s behavior became erratic. When he managed to buy SithCo, the cult that schooled him, he was shunned by the corporate world. No longer taken seriously, Lex started an evil empire and now moonlights with his evil emotronic alternapop band.
Official Website: lexvaderssecretjournal.wordpress.com
Twitter: twitter.com/LexVader
ROUND 1 SONG: “#153 Permanent Unsex”

CALEB HINES

Caleb became a software engineer instead of a musician because the type of music he likes best went out of style at the end of the 18th century. Self-taught in music theory, he is more comfortable writing a four-part instrumental fugue than he is writing a verse-chorus-bridge song. After discovering the likes of Weird Al, Dr. Horrible, and especially Jonathan Coulton, he realized that “modern music” can be fun too. Now he is on a quest to update, expand, and diversify his musical knowledge and experience. In addition to singing, he plays a whole family of recorders, baroque flute, ukulele, melodica, pretends to play keyboard, and most recently, guitar. He also uses virtual MIDI instruments because a real orchestra costs too much.
Official Website: refactoringmybrain.blogspot.com
Twitter: twitter.com/calebhines
ROUND 1 SONG: “#490 Mr. Nehemiah Bloodwormer”

IAN “TWO SHADES” JOHNSON

Ian Johnson was born atop Mount Everest, was attacked by a troop of ninjas on his way out of the womb, then rode a grizzly bear down the mountain and punched Hitler’s ghost on the way down. Then he ate some mashed peas. Seriously though. Ian played piano for about six years before taking a break in music. Then he decided to play guitar, because as we all know, piano don’t get chicks. He started playing guitar about a year and a half ago. His music has been described (by himself) as garage-punk ska-esque acoustic altern-rock with just a little ukulele thrown in for good measure.
Official Website: ianjohnson.bandcamp.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#145 Mandibular-Jaw Johnny”

ZER0GUY

Sometimes two people get together who are destined to make history. Sometimes they are born into the same family. zer0guy is the musical/life-partnership of Jon and Dan Kelly, long time musicians looking forward to placing notes in your head.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/zer0guyband
ROUND 1 SONG: “#237 Dirtbag Dan”

JONATHAN MANN

My current project is writing A Song a Day (Rock Cookie Bottom), and my former projects include The Last Nympho Leprechaun, a rock opera, The Mario Opera, a rock opera, GameJew, a web show, and The Mushroom Singdom, singing old school video game reviews.
Official Website: www.rockcookiebottom.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#612 Mr. Barry Screwskull”

SARA PARSONS

Sara Parsons is a twenty-year-old music composition student from northern California. She participated in Masters of Song Fu #4 and had a blast and met a ton of great people. She hopes she’s better at writing songs than she is at writing her own biography.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/user/sargeantketchup
ROUND 1 SONG: “#573 Miss Miriam Poisonblisters”

CHAS LILLY

Chas Lilly is a man that needs introduction. He is geeky but hopefully without being boring. He has been known to write songs about Pluto, Tim Allen, funerals, and everything in between. People often describe his music as “music”.
Official Website: www.youtube.com/friendswobenefits
Twitter: twitter.com/foldsaholic
ROUND 1 SONG: “#567 Mr. Angelo Openjaw”

KYLIE PETTO

My name is Kylie, and I’m your everyday 17-year-old girl with a passion for music. I’ve been writing my own songs since I was ten years old, and nothing is more fun for me than to sit down with my guitar and unwind. I’d like to use Masters of Song Fu to really challenge myself, and hopefully grow as a musical artist.
Official Website: NONE
Twitter: twitter.com/KyliePetto
ROUND 1 SONG: “#141 Devil Anse Doubledirt”

JEFF FARDINK

Jeff began playing guitar in 2003. He wrote his first comedy song in early 2004, and later that year, he wrote a song that was actually funny and in key, unlike his earlier works. He began playing shows after accidentally opening for a local band while passing through a bar. He continues to play because nobody has told him to stop.
Official Website: www.JeffFardink.com
ROUND 1 SONG: “#623 Jenna Frogtalker”

ALEX TAYLOR

I am a young musician who plays trombone, guitar, ukulele, piano, melodica, and a little bit of harmonica. I play everything from rock songs with distortion pedals on ukulele, to rap medleys on piano, to sappy love songs and songs about the internet crashing on guitar. This is my first time in Song Fu.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#604 Suction-Cupped Jonny”

GIFTED GEAR

I’m just a kid with a guitar. Sometimes I even play it.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#580 Old Man Hades”

BOB WESTFALL

Bob Westfall (guitar, mandolin, vocals, songwriting) has studied and worked with some of the top acoustic players in the country - Darol Anger, Mike Marshall, John Hartford, and Alex DeGrassi. But, while these influences are certainly evident, Westfall’s songwriting and lyrics are uniquely his own. An award-winning mandolinist, Bob grew up in Texas and Minnesota, and his style incorporates the best elements of composing with a hybrid jazz/pop/worldbeat/bluegrass feel.
Official Website: www.sonicbids.com/thebobwestfallband
ROUND 1 SONG: “#023 Miss Annabelle Tunnelsmell”

JUSTIN VEGA

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to mix Ravishing Rick Rude and the Beatles together? Me too. Man that would be awesome. Justin Vega is a songwriter/sort of singer from Las Vegas, NV. Justin Vega thinks writing in third person is awesome.
Official Website: NONE
ROUND 1 SONG: “#077 Dr. Hieronymous Sandpuppy”

SIMMBIOSIS

Simmbiosis - three part band. Defies the usual type or brand. A combo bred, in this strange head. The obscene voice the unseen hand. Terpsichore and muse imbued. Perverse perhaps a little rude. Music composed, a life exposed. Giving you all I can exude. Studio C where I compose. Club Bed where I take my repose. Iniquity, safe haven for me. The rest you’ll just have to suppose. To be among this crowd, auspicious. An honor bordering on delicious. Thanks to View Askew, I’ll whip out my Song Fu. And work not to be repetitious, repetitious, repetitious.
Official Website: www.myspace.com/simmbiosis
ROUND 1 SONG: “#646 Hydrostatic Charlie”

To download a ZIP FILE containing all of the ROUND 1 songs, CLICK HERE.

ROUND 1 VOTING

And now, it’s time for that all important voting. For this round, you can choose your TOP 5 FAVORITE Challenger songs. Be sure to choose carefully. VOTING CLOSES AT 11:59pm EST on SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22nd. If you are having trouble voting, CLEAR YOUR BROWSER’S CACHE and try again. PLEASE NOTE: This voting system bases voting eligibility on your IP Address. If there are other computers on a home or business network that share the same IP address through a router, it may say you’ve already voted. Unfortunately, there is no way around this, and still be able to prevent ballot stuffing. It’s just the nature of the online voting beast.

ROUND 1 VOTING - THE CHALLENGERS

Note: There is a poll embedded within this post, please visit the site to participate in this post's poll.

View Results

If you triumph, not only will you win remarkable (and potentially off-putting) bragging rights and a clutch of fantastic mystery prizes, you will also become the proud owner of the magnificent, one-of-a-kind MASTER OF SONG FU TROPHY.

Good luck, and bring on the Fu.

The weekend’s here. You’ve just been paid, and it’s burning a hole in your pocket. What’s a pop culture geek to do? In hopes of steering you in the right direction to blow some of that hard-earned cash, it’s time for the Quick Stop Weekend Shopping Guide - your spotlight on the things you didn’t even know you wanted…

(Please support Quick Stop by using the links below to make any impulse purchases - it helps to keep us going…)

As dense as a diamond and just as exquisite, the second volume of world knowledge written by the world’s FOREMOST EXPERT on ALL THAT IS KNOWABLE (if not factual) and the possessor of soft hands and a baby’s face (the former per our handshake, the latter per Ricky Gervais), John Hodgman, is now available for purchase from your favorite book emporium IN SOFTCOVER. More Information Than You Require (Riverhead Books, $15.00 SRP) picks up where The Areas Of My Expertise left off - literally - and presents the reader (us) with learned knowings rare, surreal, useful, and useless, as well as 700 Mole Men (one of which bears a familiar name) and CHARTS! Lots and lots of CHARTS! How can you not want this book? THERE ARE CHARTS! “But what if I’m too lazy to read, and the clarion call of CHARTS is no attraction to me?” I hear some of you cry. Well, there is now More Information Than You Require: The Audio Book (Penguin Audio, $34.95 SRP), which finds Hodgman joined by his scruffy troubadourial sidekick, Jonathan Coulton, and a galaxy of guest stars (including DICK CAVETT!). Did you hear that parenthetical, people?!? DICK CAVETT! Get the audio book. And the book. And some candles. You can never have enough candles.

I admit it - I was skeptical of Up (Walt Disney, Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$45.99 SRP) when I saw the first teaser, ages ago. How would Pixar pull of what seemed to be a film starring an old man living in a house held aloft by balloons? Well, I should really learn to doubt Pixar less, because once again they pull off an unorthodox premise with style, wit, and a breathtaking amount of real, genuine emotion as we follow the story of elderly Carl Fredrickson as his plans to fulfil a lifelong dream get turned upside down by an unlikely stowaway in the form of an 8-year-old Wilderness Explorer, Russell. Just see the film, particularly in high definition, which comes bundled with a standard DVD as well. Bonus features include a brand new short starring Dug the dog, behind-the-scenes documentaries, an integrated making-of, and more.

It’s been a long wait, but another classic Pixar flick makes it into the realm of high-definition with the arrival of Monsters, Inc. (Walt Disney, Rated G, Blu-Ray-$40.99 SRP). The 4-disc set contains both Blu-Ray & standard discs, while the Blu-Ray side of the fence ports over all of the bonus materials from the original DVD release, plus a new behind-the-scenes look at the building of the Monsters, Inc. ride at Tokyo Disneyland, a filmmaker’s roundtable, and audio commentary, banished concepts, a Pixar Fun Factory tour, and more.

I was a fan of the Timm/Dini animated adventures of Batman, Superman, and even Batman Beyond, and while it doesn’t have the brilliant noir of the Dark Knight’s series or the rah-rah of the Man of Steel, I greatly enjoyed Timm’s take on the Justice League. What could have been a mess of too many characters, evolved into a brilliantly executed multi-season arc that puts shows like Lost and Heroes to shame. If you haven’t seen it, you can partake of the entire run via Justice League: The Complete Series (Warner Bros., Not Rated, DVD-$99.98 SRP). The 15-disc set contains all 91 episodes comprising both Justice League and Justice League Unlimited, with the 15th disc being a brand new exclusive documentary Unlimited Reserve: Exploring The Depths Of The DC Universe.

It’s the holiday season, and what that means in the UK (and for comedy fans around the globe) is that comics are dropping their stand-up DVDs just in time to help audiences pass the long winter with a bit of a laugh. First up is the latest from Russell Brand, Scandalous: Live At The O2 (Channel 4, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99 SRP), which finds him largely building a show around the fallout from the Andrew Sachs debacle and the MTV VMAs. Jimmy Carr: Telling Jokes (Channel 4, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99 SRP) is Carr at his most comfortable and offensive, pushing the limits of the joke form in an almost clinical - but still funny - fashion. Last up is the sophomore effort from Mock The Week regular Russell Howard, Dingledodies (Channel 4, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99 SRP). All are packed with bonus material, and all are worth picking up.

The folks at Rifftrax have stepped in - just when we all feared there would be a comedy lull - with a new pair of ace DVD releases that are as equally must-have as all of the previous ones (which SHOULD all be on your shelf). So what should you be picking up? Well, there’s the baffling astronauts on pathetic dinosaur planet named, appropriately, Planet of Dinosaurs and one of the many low-rent, sad entries in John Carradine’s career, Voodoo Man (Legend Films, Not Rated, DVD-$9.95 each). Go. Get ‘em.

If you haven’t been able to find your way there in four decades, you might want to refresh your memory with the celebratory Sesame Street: 40 Years Of Sunny Days (Genius, Not Rated, DVD-$29.93 SRP), a 4-disc overview of the show’s long and storied history. Granted, the last 15 years are a bit of a dud compared to the original genius, but hey - no reason to avoid the good stuff contained within the set.

And while you’re at it, pick up Sesame Street: A Celebration Of 40 Years Of Life On The Street (Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, $40.00 SRP) - a lavishly illustrated, truly massive tome that gives a wonderful, highly visual look at the folks behind the show and the production of the show itself - from both an entertainment and educational perspective. It’s loving walk down memory lane that’s a perfect companion to the recent Street Gang: The Complete History Of Sesame Street.

Warner’s wonderful Archive Collection strikes again, delivering unto comedy fans the long-requested Gilda Live (Warner Bros., Rated R, DVD-$14.96) - the theatrically released recording of Gilda Radner’s post-SNL Broadway show. It’ll make you miss her even more. Get this.

I love a premise that is instantly brilliant and then brilliantly realized, and such is the case with Charlie Brooker’s Dead Set (Channel 4, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99 SRP), which explores the question, “What would happen to the sequestered housemates of Big Brother if a zombie outbreak swept over Britain?” And the resultant story is a fun bit of pop culture smash up. The special edition features interviews, behind-the-scenes featurettes, and deleted/extended scenes.

Time marches on, which means a brand new release starring everyone’s favorite sqaurepanted sponge, Spongebob Squarepants: Truth Or Square (Nickelodeon, Not Rated, DVD-$16.99 SRP). The titular episode is presented in expanded form with celebrity appearances, along with 4 additional episodes, a behind-the-scenes featurette on the show’s opening, and karaoke music videos.

What started off as a gimmicky show has evolved into one of the few procedurals I’ll actually watch, and I attribute it almost entirely to the onscreen chemistry of David Krumholtz, Rob Morrow, and the always wonderful Judd Hirsch (oh, and Peter MacNicol). See for yourself in the 5th season of Numbers (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$60.90 SRP). The 6-disc set features all 23 episodes, plus audio commentaries, deleted scenes, featurettes, and a gag reel.

Ah, Peep Show. If you’re a fan of The Office - or just offbeat British comedy in general (you know, the smart people) - you’ll probably dig Peep Show (Channel 4, Not Rated, DVD-£19.99 SRP). Gosh, how do I describe such a unique premise… In the show, you see the lives of roommates Jeremy & Mark through their eyes - and inner monologues. Jeremy is a wannabe pop star, Mark is an obsessive loser, and their thoughts and actions are truly hilarious. Think of it as a small-screen take on Being John Malkovich, without all the arty pretension. Series 6 is now available in Region 2, containing featurettes, bonus scenes, outtakes, and more. Check it out. Now. NOW!

Warner has opened up the vaults to release a trio of high-def catalogue releases - two if which are decent flicks, but the third of which is a genre classic. The first two are Heat & The Negotiator (Warner Bros., Rated R, Blu-Ray-$28.99 SRP each), with Negotiator featuring a pair of featurettes and Heat being loaded with documentaries, additional scenes, and an audio commentary. The third flick is Logan’s Run (Warner Bros., Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$28.99 SRP), looking quite good and featuring an audio commentary, a vintage featurette, and the theatrical trailer.

Long before Spenser could be hired, Robert Urich starred as private eye Dan Tanna in the TV series Vegas (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$36.98 SRP) - and the first volume of the premiere season is now on DVD. Urich knew how to hold a frame, even if the series is your standard edition 70’s drama. The 3-disc set features the first 11 episodes., plus episode promos.

Gah! Has it really been 20 years since Cameron Crowe’s now legendary tale of awkward teenage love and proper boombox woo-ery? Well, it must be, since there’s now a 20th anniversary edition of Say Anything (Fox, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$34.99 SRP). Bonus materials include a new audio commentary, retrospective featurettes, and interview with Crowe, alternate/deleted/extended scenes, TV spots, trailers, and more.

Timed to capitalize on the release of Say Anything in that kind of “Do we have anything else vaguely similar we can drop on the same date?” kind of way comes a pair of Fox catalogue releases new-to-Blu-Ray - James Toback’s Two Girls And A Guy (Fox, Rated R/NC-17, Blu-Ray-$29.99 SRP), starring Robert Downey, Jr. as a man stuck in an apartment, and Hayden Pantierre in I Love You, Beth Cooper (Fox, Rated PG-13, Blu-Ray-$39.99 SRP).

Can’t get enough of Pierce Brosnan’s golden throat? Or ABBA? Know someone who can’t get enough of either? Well, perhaps the Mamma Mia!: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! More Giftset (Universal, Rated PG, Blu-Ray-$49.98 SRP) is for you, as it contains not only the high-def special edition of the film, but also a CD full of ABBA tunes and a collectible book.

Oh, Hawaii Five-O (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP) - even after all the years since watching reruns, you’re still a nice load of fun, right down to Danno booking the perps. The seventh season contains all 24 episodes and episode promos, but not a single bonus bubble.

Have an 80’s flashback (kind of like an ice cream headache) with a pair of releases from old school MTV staples Duran Duran. First up is a deluxe special edition of their hit album Rio (EMI, $26.98 SRP), featuring demos, b-sides, singles, alternate takes, and more. Also getting kicked out the gate is Duran Duran: Hammersmith ‘82 (EMI, Not Rated, DVD-$ SRP), which contains a DVD of the concert plus an audio CD.

Mike Conners is back in the 3rd cooler-than-cool season of Mannix (Paramount, Not Rated, DVD-$49.99 SRP), starring as the titular SoCal gumshoe whose cases always prompt action aplenty. The 6-disc set contains all 25 episodes.

Yeah, Xavier: Renegade Angel (Adult Swim, Not Rated, DVD-$19.98 SRP) is another one of those Adult Swim shows that just leaves me cold. I’m not sure how well its bizarre, graphically violent, new age, CG mishmash was, but it must have been popular enough to warrant this DVD release of seasons 1 & 2.

So there you have it… my humble suggestions for what to watch, listen to, play with, or waste money on this coming weekend. See ya next week…

-Ken Plume

##

By Christopher Stipp

The Archives, Right Here

I was able to sit down for a couple of years and pump out a book. It’s got little to do with movies. Download and read “Thank You, Goodnight” right HERE for free.

Check out my new column, This Week In Trailers, at SlashFilm.com and follow me on TWITTER under the name: Stipp

Who Is KK Downey? - DVD Review

There is such a need to become famous nowadays.

When you break it down, fame isn’t really a commodity that can be stored away, saved for later, or preserved. It’s fleeting when and if it happens and it is gone just as quickly. What makes this movie such a delight is its meditation on the nature of fame but it does so with the kind of obnoxiousness that requires a humorist’s touch.

Made by the folks of Kidnapper Films, the movie takes a look at the lives of Terrance Permenstein, and, yes, that’s his real name, Theo Huxtable as they toil in their lives of obscurity until writer Terrance writes a piece of fiction so far afield of reality that he assumes the character he creates as a real individual and uses this ruse in order to get his fame. Fame, you see, in order to try and woo a lady Terrance used to be with and things from here just spiral out of control. From bizarre set-ups to comedy that is well above the kind that we’re getting out of our usual comedy cohorts the movie takes you on a journey of deception and hilarity. Sure, not everything works but what’s exciting about this film is that there are more hits than misses. For a young upstart crew like this to be giving more laughs per 90 minutes than your average Saturday Night Live show it speaks highly of these performers’ ability to bring the funny in a way that just feels fresh, new.

More than just your usual movie about a couple of bums who are looking to grab the brass ring in order to gain some notoriety, the movie showcases the talent of this trio and they demonstrate why you ought to keep an eye on these three.

A description of the movie:

In the tradition of SCTV and Kids In The Hall comes WHO IS KK DOWNEY ?, the feature-length debut from Canada ’s latest comedy geniuses at Kidnapper Films. An Official Selection at the Philadelphia Film Festival, Winner of the Best Feature award at the Boston Underground Film Festival and the New Vision Award at Cinequest, WHO IS KK DOWNEY? opened with the highest per screen average in Canada . And now, IndiePix® Films delivers this hilarious examination of media hype and hipster ideology inspired by recent, real-life literary hoaxes to U.S. audiences on DVD. Available on November 3, this soon-to-be cult-classic comes to stores in an extras-laden edition, featuring deleted scenes, outtakes, audio commentary and more!

Over the last ten years, Kidnapper Films — troupe members Darren Curtis, Matt Silver and Pat Kiely – have diligently and creatively worked out of their hometown of Montreal , producing a series of short, comedic films. “We decided enough with the short films. Let’s step up to the table and produce a feature,” says Kiely. “After James Frey, and J.T. LeRoy, and all those others hoaxes, we thought ‘why not make a really dumb, fun comedy about literary hoaxes.’ So that’s what we did.”

WHO IS KK DOWNEY ? follows the story of two wannabes who decided they were sick and tired of trying to make a name for themselves the old-fashioned way. Terrance is trying to make it as a rock star, while Theo dreams of getting his first book published: ‘Truck Stop Hustler,’ a racy look at life on the streets as a junkie prostitute. After a string of humiliations by both publishers and music critics, the two hatch a plan to turn Theo’s fictional book into an autobiography by having Terrance dress up as the story’s protagonist, KK Downey, and claim all the events as having happened to him. All of a sudden the book nobody wanted becomes an overnight literary sensation, and the duo has realized their dreams of fame and fortune. But at what price?

Moonshot - Blu-ray Review

I love this kind of thing.

You can take your Apollo 13 and your Space Cowboys, your Armageddon, I have always been more of a realistic kind of guy. From learning about how things began with just an idea to actually shoving many human bodies beyond any point they’ve ever physically gone presentation is everything. You can’t just slap something together in an EPK and expect that people will appreciate the scope of the information they’re given.

Thankfully, you’ve not only got one of the most definitive documentaries about how we went from thought to the eagle landing but it’s done in a way that is entertaining and exciting to watch. To say nothing of the historical value of having footage in Blu-ray smacking you in the face, the story is delicately told through a series of reflections and footage of this time. Engineers were the ones who ultimately did it but it’s the filmmakers here who distilled the real story and put this together which really brings everything together. Yes, the final product dramatizes the events leading up to the eventual moon landing but in between this you have a fascinating look into the space race that hurtled events into motion at such a rapid speed you wonder if anything else that will come after this will ever spur our country to do something so quickly.

This disc will be perfect for dad, for grandpa, for anyone with a passing interest in the program that people nowadays wonder if it is doing any sort of real good. There was a time when people were transfixed to the events that put men on the moon and Moonshot will absolutely deliver on the promise of taking this time in our history and making it relevant again.

A little product description:

Relive the breathtaking story of Apollo 11 and the first manned landing on the Moon as HISTORY takes viewers aboard the rocket and on its eight-day round trip to outer space for a close-up look at one of the most stunning and courageous personal and technological achievements of man. Interlaced with original NASA footage transferred to high definition, Moonshot covers the crew s earliest days at NASA to the moment when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin step on the Moon. From home life and families, to the argument over who would be the first to walk on the lunar surface, this is the remarkable story of one of the most chronicled events in history. Using a script based on transcripts from the mission, contemporary documents, books and interviews, Moonshot incorporates news footage from around the world, including that of the iconic CBS anchor Walter Cronkite. Together, the drama and original material present a vivid yet intimate glimpse at one of the defining moments of modern history.

Doomsday 2012: The End of Days - Review

I’m not a huge fan of Ronald Emmerich.

From his obnoxious filmmaking that tries to use global disasters and mass destruction as his palate upon which to throw his dystopic vision to his horrible stretching of any valid truth I just don’t get it. What I do appreciate, however, is this special about 2012.

For those who don’t know or have any inclination this program helps you understand why 2012 is such a trigger with more than a few civilizations. The Mayans believed the world will be torn asunder when winter hits in ought 12,  and the added documentary Mayan Doomsday Prophecy is like a delicious footnote that gives this group a little extra screen time, there are many computers scouring the Internet to compile mounds of data which point to this year being one filled with destruction, and the oracle of the Chinese, the I Ching, all peg this year being catastrophic for the earth.

I loved all the crazies they wheel out to talk about prophecy, of predictions for things that are pointing to the fact this may all be a warning, and I certainly had to smile when we were treated with a matching up of the factual events in the history and the many divinations of oracles from history past. Yes, this could all be chalked up to convenient interpretation but this is a program that is at, the very least, a welcome diversion. To hear those who want to debunk the convenient predictions just aren’t as fun as thinking there is something here to what’s being talked about. Could the earth end in 2012? While I don’t think any of this is believable this is nonetheless worth the effort to watch and be amazed by what could be one of the biggest predictions no one hopes comes true. It certainly deserves your money more than Ronald Emmerich does and I think I was more entertained in the process.

BEFORE THE COMING END OF DAYS, JOIN HISTORY™ FOR THE TRUTH BEHIND THE UPCOMING BLOCKBUSTER 2012

It is a doomsday that is foretold in the Mayan calendar, the Chinese oracle of the I Ching…even in an Internet-based prophetic software program: December 21st, 2012. Is there any truth to the prophecy that the world will end on that specific date? And why do so many oracles throughout history seem to point to that same dreaded doomsday? Prior to the premiere of Roland Emmerich’s upcoming mega budget, mega-disaster movie 2012 (bowing on 11/13), join HISTORY™ for this fascinating special which cuts through the myths and offers a fact-based examination of the Doomsday prophecy.

Also included is a bonus documentary: MAYAN DOOMSDAY PROPHECY which delves even deeper into meaning behind the Mayans and their apocalyptic calendar.

Peter Rodger - Interview

Dare I say that, looking at all we’ve been given by him in the last 12 months, this is the most honest performance from Hugh Jackman? It is.

For those who were left wanting after seeing Bill Maher’s Religulous there weren’t too many options, as viewer, to examine the intricacies of God. Be it religion or the belief in a higher power there are multitudes of people who think they have it right while everyone else is wrong. The curious extension of this idea is that maybe someone does have it right, one of the hundreds of organized belief systems out there, but what does it say about everyone else who is on the wrong side of the faith war?

You can see where all the strife and battling of wills between those who believe one thing against those who believe something else is going but the one point here is that how many documentaries have dealt with the idea of faith, of belief, in a way that’s meaningful? The answer is no one, as Maher was too busy being snarky and arrogant and making his subjects look bad that it missed an opportunity to examine what it means to believe in God, or not to believe in God. Documentary filmmaker Peter Rodger stepped in to fill that void and has crafted a movie that you never knew could be so genuine and devoid of an invisible hand guiding the narrative. You have a spectrum of faces you know, Hugh Jackman, Bob Geldof, David Copperfield, Ringo Starr, Seal, and a fistfuls of those you haven’t. What’s remarkable about the latter is Rodger captures wide vistas from 23 countries and he simply has people talk about their feelings, their ideas, of God itself.

As a practicing agnostic I found myself moved by what Rodger has put on the screen. Instead of stuffy rooms where the interviews have no context, the film captures the sense of place in a world where we all tend to think locally not globally and the result is one of the best documentaries I’ve seen this year. A life affirming story that is moving and has one constant but dozens of beliefs.

Oh My God is opening this weekend in NY and LA. For theaters where it’s appearing near you visit his website and pull up showtimes.

CHRISTOPHER STIPP:  Peter, nice to talk to you.

PETER RODGER: Chris, how are you doing?

CS:  I’m doing fine.  I got to watch you movie last night and I am just amazed by it.

RODGER: Thank you!

CS:  It was nothing that I was expecting and that’s in a very good way.  In researching what I was going to talk to you about, I saw in a lot of interviews, this really was sort of born out of the fruit the idea of the school yard mentality of kid thing.  Essentially that my God is better than your God.

RODGER: Not of kids, but a childish mentality.

CS:  Exactly.  Adults who want to be childish about it and it kind of amplifies itself in the amount of wars that have been taken out in God’s name.  What really made you think that you had to do a feature length movie about this idea?

RODGER: The whole point is this – it is ridiculous in this age of communication of internet, the world is a very small place.  Human beings are on a big rock and it’s a little bit distressful that those in one club are better than those in another club.  It becomes even more distressful when they use God’s name to validate their club against somebody elses and I find that a very childish mentality.  I think that now we are in a very good position because of the smallness of the world and the ability to get on the phone or the internet or talk or whatever to really understand that we are more united that we are divided and this is really the motivating factor for me to go around the world and ask people what does the name of God mean to them and perhaps we can learn something, learn other cultures and realize that we are a little more united than divided.  And stop this particularly distasteful bigotry that seems to manifest itself and was under the microscope of 9/11.  That’s what started this polarity going on and I think it’s just a futile concept that now we have to push people away when we should be getting together.

CS:  You visited so many countries and I have to give compliments and kudos to the camera work.  I think one of the things I was struck with was the way you captured the idea of place, of time.  It was absolutely gorgeous.  Obviously you weren’t satisfied to just visit the U.S., Jerusalem, the Middle East – you visited, what, more than 20 countries?

RODGER: Yes.  Actually we shot in 23 countries.  I think there are 20 in the film.  Some countries I had to take out because it was getting a little bit too long and it was repetitive.  The point is that it is such a worldly universal question – as Hugh Jackman says in the film, it’s a question that probably can’t be answered.  And the point is, you don’t have to answer but by asking it, you open yourself up to other people’s ideas and those other ideas can create discussions and those discussions can lead to learning and that learning can lead to tolerance.  I really wanted to go around as much of the world as I possibly could in a 90 minute movie and you can’t make a movie about what you think God is without going as you said, the Holy Land and places like that.  But also you need to get into indigenous cultures and into people who have been practicing their belief systems for thousands of years, like the Aborigines and the Native American Indians.  And then you can’t make a film about what people think God is without embracing religions, Hinduism, philosophies like Buddhism, etc.  So that dictated that I had to go to those countries to be able to put across those ideas into the film to make it as grounded as possible and also to allow the film to be as objective as possible.

CS:  Did you find yourself changed by the end of this process?  Did you discover something within yourself that you weren’t expecting to come out?

RODGER: Yes, I rather enjoyed the immense sense of humanity I found from people on a base level that there is a wonderful spark of deliciousness about human beings and that was very reassuring in a world where our information is garnered from news which is filtered and edited, which is quite different from the real world out there.  And so that made me have a lot more faith in humanity than I did previously.

CS:   I think one of the more interesting things was Ringo Starr – and it was John Lennon that said any “ism”, in his opinion, isn’t good.  Do you have a better perspective of the “isms” of the world and what they mean to people and whether or not there is a chance for people to co-exist under one?

RODGER: I think the only way that we are going to co-exist under one is if we have a common enemy.  That common enemy could be aliens invading the planet (laugh) or it could be global warming.  It is about time that we human beings learned how to unite.  We are not a barbaric society anymore.  We’ve got education to dispel those differences.  We’ve had amazing advancements in technology in the last 100 years.  It’s growing at an exponential rate.  We really need to get over our little club bigotry ideologies.  We’ve got to learn to be extremely generous to other human beings and learn to live together.  I think the economic crisis in the last year, 18 months, has made people rethink that themselves and not take life for granted.  That we do have responsibilities on every single level and that mom and dad losing their IRA’s and ponzi schemes and people being worried about their jobs, desperate to hold on to something, means we’ve got to work at this together instead of saying that my club is better than yours and if you don’t believe in what I believe in you are not worthy, goodbye.  In fact, I’m going to punch you in the nose.  I think it’s just terrible.  To unite, we need to discuss.  We need to sit around the table and graciously talk about what we feel and I think out of that argument, out of that discussion, one, if they are open to it, can realize that we are all the same.

CS:  Do you have hope that that can happen after visiting all these countries or do you see that the conflicts that we have in the Middle East, the conflicts we have here in America, in your opinion, do you think that’s ever possible or do you think we are on this path for many more hundreds of years before any change will happen?

RODGER: You can’t change the human way of thinking – the human condition.  These conflicts have been going on ever since human beings walked the planet.  But I do believe that we are evolving and I think that’s what our mission is in life.  That if each of us did one good act to somebody each day, the world would be a better place and I think it starts at home.  It’s a little bit like changing your light bulb, it’s very warming.  And if all of us start shifting and thinking not because of our fears and insecurities that we’re going to insult that person or tread over him or steal his money or say that he has to be condemned because he doesn’t believe what I believe – if we can shift that collectively then there is a chance and there is hope.

I have had the most wonderful ability to go around the world and make a film that I hope a lot of people are going to see.  And if lots of people go and see the film it’s only preaching (but not preaching at all) – instilling an idea that if we talk to each other instead of fighting with each other and do something in our own way each day individually is baby steps.  There is a hope and you can relate that to the philosophies of Obama if you like – using diplomacy in wonderful ways and will hopefully save lots of lives one day.  So, I think that we as individuals have responsibilities that were dictated by the prophets from early religions but they need to be put into practice now.

CS:  That’s the rub.  I think preparing for the interview and oddly enough this week was an election week across our country here – one of the things that struck me was the gay marriage debate and how that got voted down in Maine and it’s frustrating on my part in that I don’t live in Maine – don’t live anywhere near Maine but I feel isolated in that a majority of people think that because their bible tells them that gay marriage is an abomination people shouldn’t be able to marry and I feel like sometimes I feel marginalized because I don’t know what I can do to help overcome that.  And it’s frustrating because people do take the name of their religion as a compass for the morality of all.  I’m interested in getting your opinion about whether you talked to people around the world who feel marginalized themselves and that they are trying to do good but there is an overriding religious decree that they feel they can’t overcome their own space because religion has taken such a strong foothold?

RODGER: Yes, we have a long way to go.  First of all, let’s take it bit by bit.  The United States of America is an amazing country because we have the right of free speech.  I thought the question under the Bush administration, homeland security and all that, you’re not patriotic.  That was a bit of a problem.  Now let’s talk about the gay marriage thing - because it was written in the bible?  Well, who wrote the bible?

CS:  Man.

RODGER: Yeah.  When did they write the bible?

CS:  Two thousand years ago.

RODGER: Actually it was less than that – probably 400 years after Jesus Christ was crucified.  The bible as we know it now.  I don’t know what the exact figure is.  You are talking about man who took the words of a very enlightened human being, Jesus Christ, who some pertain to be the Son of God.  Now that’s a different subject, but these people at that particular point in time and that particular point in history were making a political, basically a political book using the prophet, which was probably doing, some would argue bad at the time but most would argue it was good because it gave a way of life to a lot of people and in that was a great fear of homosexuality.  Homosexuality was absolutely accepted earlier – Greek, Roman times, etc. etc.

I think that it’s all a distortion with what’s man has done with it.  The whole point is to discuss it and the thing is that Christians, who are saying this, and the point is that Jesus Christ said you should never look down on anybody and embrace everybody like your brother and treat your neighbors like yourself.  So, I think that’s a distortion between what the prophet was saying and how it was politicized and written down on paper by man.  That’s the problem – that people relate to that as the gospel truth and they can’t be swayed.  But then it’s not right for those who feel that way and want to share their world and have the same kind of economic benefits that married people have.  So, round and round and round it goes.  But I don’t know what the answer to this question is but I mean, let’s just look at it from another point of view in history.  It wasn’t that long ago that a black man in the southern states had to sit in a different part of a theatre than a white man.  Now they can sit all together so there is progress.  Your other question of hope – yes.  We have a lot of hope.  Hope and discussion.  Talk about it.  All people will come out of the woodwork to talk about these people that voted it down.  The next time around it might get voted through.  It’s a very human thing.  It’s about human rights and segregation.  Let’s look at the positive things that came out in the last couple of weeks.  The hate bill was signed my Obama in the Rose Garden.  Fantastic.  There is hope.

CS:  There is and your movie gives that hope.  I think it was everything I was hoping Religulous was going to be a couple of years ago and failed to live up to that idea.  I think you do what a documentary should do and that’s to be as objective as possible and let the subjects be the focus of the piece and I think you do that effortlessly.

RODGER: Thank you.

CS:  How did you get the celebrities that show up?  Hugh Jackman.  I looked at your resume and apart from the movie you are working on now, there really isn’t anything there besides this film.  How did you convince them to go on camera and talk about God?

RODGER: I went away for three months and self financed and shot for 73 days and came back and cut a full minute trailer of what I had asking all the questions that looked a million dollars and I put that on my website and sent it around to all my friends and said I need celebrities, anybody who knew a celebrity please come back to me.  And some of them did and that’s how I got them.

The trailer showed what I was doing and then they kindly agreed and some came to me.  David Copperfield came to me for example.  I was driving in Idaho and my phone rang and it was David Copperfield and he said, listen, someone told me you were doing this movie about what people think God is and it’s a very interesting subject to me.  I am an illusionist and the first religious leaders were illusionists because, in parenthesis, they could prove the existence of God.  And I am a believer and I am an illusionist and I would love to talk about this on camera.  And he does and it’s a great segment.

CS:  It is.   As he is telling the story in the beginning you don’t know quite where he is going with it but then it all pulls together fascinatingly.  One of the other things I found amusing or at least interesting, is that the movie that you shot you brought all your footage back and started editing and you said you found the movie’s structure in the editing room.  Can you talk about what happened when you got to the editing room?  What did you find when you got there?

RODGER: It was tough because we had a lot of footage.  John Hoyt, my editor, started while I was on the road.  I would send him footage back.  He was viewing all the footage and pasteurizing it and then he came from New York to LA and we cut there after I basically finished filming.  We had all these ideas about structure.  At first we made it like a little bit of a travel log because there were different countries and then I drew a graph which was based upon all the books you could ever read and I also write movie scripts so I know that structure is everything.  So I drew a graph which had a first act, a second act, and a third act.  A question.  A confrontation.  A semi-kind of resolution where the resolution in this film is actually up to the audience rather than me giving the divine answer.  And I drew another structure that was like a two act structure – like a pyramid, which goes up right to the middle of the film, it changes course.

So I laid that structure over the other structure and then I wrote down the minutes of instruction, the question, next act, need to try here, need to resolve it here, and I said that is our blueprint.  We have to engage this as our bible.  So then it was a matter of filling in the pieces bit by bit.  John was fantastic.  Really really good.  He’s objective, very smart, intelligent editor.  And so we laid it out roughly and that was a matter of taking the transcripts and working out – there is a thread – it’s very subtle through it all but wanted to build up to what we called the tennis match which is sort of the confrontation that polarizes the world between Christianity and Islam and also the Islamists being hijacked by a group of loud mouthed fundamentalists.

And then where do we put the Holy Land?

The Israelis and the Palestinians conflict into this because we have to.  And then it sort of gelled from there.  And then it didn’t work and changed it a bit and stuff stayed the same and then once we had that structure down we started cutting.  Finding images that told the story underneath what the people were saying so that you’re not looking at faces all the time.  There was something going on visually that supported.  When you look at the film again, no body has the time to look at it in slow motion or whatever, or just look at it again, every time somebody is talking about something there is subliminal presentation about what they are saying in the shots.  And that is something that is not meant to be conscious in the first viewing but it just creeps up throughout the movie.  And that’s how we did it.

CS:   Really? As an independent feature – were you doing this by yourself?  Were you living on credit cards?

(Laughs)

RODGER: I’m still living on credit cards.  Thank God for American Express.

After being quite successful in the advertising world, it was quite a shock.  What happened was I paid for the first bit and sort of mortgaged the house actually.  Then got the trailer and used that first trailer that I explained before to get financier help and I teamed up with Horacio Altamirano who is a South American producer who loved the concept, loved the idea, and knew he could recruit in South America.  You need to go to the end users, the guys who know how to get there and invest.  He became my partner and paid for the first production and put up the P&A for the release of the movie and I am deeply grateful to him and also gave me the artistic license to make my film.

CS:  That’s amazing.  And I know I have only about two minutes left so my last question would be were there any surprises in this whole process of anything you discovered about either yourself or the way you think about this subject or did you go along for the ride and put a camera there and let the people do the talking?

RODGER: I went around with a camera and let people do the talking but I was surprised and could sum up the surprise at the cancer hospital at the end of the movie which was the most moving part for me.  I live in Los Angeles and having been across 23 countries I was with – I think if you want to find God then look into a child’s eye – mainly because they aren’t tainted when they are born and as toddlers they don’t differentiate between someone who is disabled, male or female, black or white, yellow or green or whatever.  They just accept life for what it is and unfortunately they grow up to be adults that get tainted by mommy and daddy’s point of view and perhaps other people at school and other things come into play.  And also, some DNA kicks in.  The point is, if you really want to see some unbelievable purity, do look into a child’s eye.  I would like to take that a step further and look into a child’s eye that is facing death.

And so I went to the cancer hospital and there was one little boy there who I am very happy to say survived a bone marrow transplant and is still with us but at the time I found him it was very edgy if it was going to happen.  His name is Christian Fernandas and I asked Christian a question in the film and his answer blew me away but you have to go see the film.

Adult Swim’s Dana Snyder and Quick Stop Entertainment’s Ken Plume set out to have a literate conversation between two pals, but inevitably devolve into a verbal, and funny, free-for-all full of bickering, infighting, and the special kind of male bonding that comes from conflict expressed through the podcast medium.

Actor/comedian/raconteur Dana Snyder, you’re certainly aware, is Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s Master Shake, Squidbillies‘ Granny, Minoriteam’s Dr. Wang, and The Venture Bros.‘ Alchemist. Available for weddings and bar mitzvahs (bat availability pending), you can keep tabs on him via his website, www.eyeofthesnyder.com.

Ken Plume is the editor-in-chief here at Quick Stop. He is a friend of Dana’s, as well as his arch-nemesis.

VISIT THE SNYDECAST EXPERIENCE

KEN P.D. SNYDECAST #121: Can You Hear Me Now? - Ken & Dana return with a wee bit of a diatribe against the cell phone industry, then wonder if you can be too thin for Broadway, before contemplating the importance of kazoos in live performance.

[CONTENT WARNING]: This podcast may contain some foul language and horribly off-color jokes. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

DOWNLOAD: (right click to save)
Episode #121 (MP3 format) – 51.96 MB

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Got something to say? E-mail Dana & Ken at the Snydecast mailbag.

CLICK HERE FOR THE SNYDECAST ARCHIVES

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Welcome to our weekly round-up of featured giveaways here at Quick Stop. Every Wednesday, we’ll present a new clutch of DVDs, books, and other cool stuff you can take a shot at winning. All you have to do is click on the graphics below to be taken to their respective contest pages. And good luck!

In conjunction with IDW, we’re giving away a copy of THE BLOOM COUNTY LIBRARY: VOLUME 1.

In conjunction with Universal Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of BRUNO on DVD.

In conjunction with Fox Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA: A VERY SUNNY CHRISTMAS on DVD.

In conjunction with Fox Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies of FIGHT CLUB on Blu-Ray.

In conjunction with New Line Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of SHORTS on DVD.

In conjunction with New Line Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of FOUR CHRISTMASES on DVD.

In conjunction with Warner Bros. Home Video, we’re giving away three (3) copies each of MY SISTER’S KEEPER on both Blu-ray & DVD.

In conjunction with Hear Music, we’re giving away two (2) copies of PAUL McCARTNEY: GOOD EVENING NEW YORK CITY on CD/DVD.

In conjunction with Dial, we’re giving away two (2) prize packs featuring copies of THE LOOKING GLASS WARS: ARCHENEMY & HATTER M: VOLUME 2 - MAD WITH WONDER.

In conjunction with Docurama Home Video, we’re giving away five (5) copies of SKILLS LIKE THIS on DVD.

In conjunction with Klutz, we’re giving away five (5) copies of DRAW STAR WARS: CLONE WARS on DVD.

In conjunction with Klutz, we’re giving away five (5) copies of DRAW STAR WARS: CLONE WARS on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December 2nd.

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December, 2nd.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

In conjunction with New Video NYC, we’re giving away five (5) copies of SKILLS LIKE THIS on DVD.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December 2nd.

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December, 2nd.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.

In conjunction with Dial, we’re giving away two (2) prize packs featuring copies of THE LOOKING GLASS WARS: ARCHENEMY & HATTER M: VOLUME 2 - MAD WITH WONDER.

Contest ends at 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December, 2nd.

The Looking Glass Wars online game:
http://www.cardsoldierwars.com

The Looking Glass Wars official site:
http://www.lookingglasswars.com

Official Rules

No member of Quick Stop Entertainment or their immediate families may enter.

No Purchase necessary to win.

Must be 18 years of age or older to enter.

One entry per day, per person.

All submitted entries must be received by 11:59pm EST on Wednesday, December, 2nd.

The winner must allow 4-6 weeks after notification of win to receive the product.