Quirkee.com

Thank God for the Spurs!

When it comes to professional sports everyone in Texas should be thankful that the San Antonio Spurs are here to represent our great state.� Out of the seven teams that currently reside in Texas; the Spurs seem to be the only ones that have their shit together.� Dallas is all...

The Texas Rangers Don't Suck... Yet

Shhhhhh, don�t look now but the Texas Rangers are actually in First Place in the AL West!� It sounds weird doesn�t it?� Usually, anyone who follows the Rangers can count on three�columns in any given year about the team�s chances.� The first is about how the pitching staff still sucks...

Saints Preserve Us!

My mother didn't believe in signs in the cosmic, the-universe-is-telling-you-something sense. Say, for example, an eagle landed in the back yard and stared in a penetrating, unwavering way directly at you and then plucked out a breast feather and dropped it at your feet while emitting an...

Another Storm Brewing in Big D

There�s a storm brewing in the Metroplex and I�m not talking about the Microburst that destroyed the Cowboys practice facility.� Back in the Cowboys heyday it was said that the reason why there was a hole in the roof of Texas Stadium was so that �God could watch his favorite...

It's the End of the World as We Know It and I Feel Indifferent

I read a book recently called Apocalypse 2012: An Optimist Investigates the End of Civilization. The author, Lawrence E. Joseph, digs into the numerous theories and predictions that seem to all point to the year 2012 as the big year. Something surely is going to happen in 2012,...

IKEA: Swedish for "Hell"

Most of us - even the most vociferously Amurikan Americans - have incorporated some foreign words or phrases into our vocabulary, whether or not we even realize it. Pizza, for example. It's become a national meal, for gosh sakes, yet it may surprise you to know that the...

Lightweight Lightning

When it comes to boxing, two names come to mind, Jesus Chavez and James �Mandingo� Kirkland, but on Saturday night at the Frank Erwin Center Austin was introduced to the Lightweight division in what was one of the most action packed fight cards of the year. Lightweight Lightning, as...

It's Only a Paper Coffin

There are many ways to go green these days. But a paper coffin wouldn't be my first choice. There are many ways to go green these days. But a paper coffin wouldn't be my first choice. In my hometown of Eugene, Oregon, a local funeral home is now offering eco-friendly funerals that include coffins...

20 Questions with Ben Mallott

If you haven't heard of Ben Mallott yet then chances are you will after South by Southwest 2009 (http://sxsw.com) . The Austin Chronicle picked Ben as one of nine local Austin bands to break out at SXSW this year. Since the debut of his first album last December I have...

One More Reason I'll Always Hate Winter

Ah, yes. Life is good and winter will soon be but a memory. A painful memory mind you and one that will haunt me for many moons. But a memory none-the-less. I spent the morning visiting an orthopedist about the lateral epicondylitis (tennis elbow) I developed in January,...

Ouch, that Smarts

I had lunch with an intelligent friend the other day. And by intelligent I don't mean he knows who Lindsay Lohan is sleeping with either. Although maybe he does. He's that smart. I'll call my friend J because it sounds hip and cool, and intelligent people are rarely considered either.

The Gift that Keeps on Giving

I got the flu for Valentine�s Day and so far it�s lasted far longer than a box of chocolates ever would. When Cupid arrived at my front door wearing scrubs and a surgical mask, I should have known something was up, but I�m the trusting type. Someone knocks and I skip to the door...

Happy Birthday, Barbie!

There are regular birthdays, and there are big birthdays, and somebody we all know is about to have a landmark birthday:� Barbie.� Barbie, the fashion icon; Barbie, the girl with a one-inch waist; Barbie, the doll with feet the shape of high heels, is turning 50.� That's right, it's the...

Taxes? Fuhgetaboutit!

It�s almost time to start thinking about doing my taxes, so let me say how happy I am at all the recent news of politicians who have �forgotten� to pay theirs. The usual hair-pulling, stomach-churning, eye-twitching anxiety I suffer while sharing my money with the government has all but disappeared. This tax season, I�m...

It Was on a Night...Just Like This!

The torrential rainstorm that had been trailing them since Austin gradually halted its assault on Interstate 35 as Johnny and Jodie continued north into Waco. The wiper blades on Jodie's Toyota Tercel squeaked and moaned and the rain died as they entered the city limits.� Jodie turned her wipers off...

I've No Use for Solitude--Or Bikes!!

In the early 90's during what I like to call The Transitional Years, it's a period along the timeline of Ed...� There are many others.� The Formative Years.� The Rebellious Years.� The Religious Years. � I found myself residing in the bedroom where I had grown up.� The same bedroom I had left some years past...

Bad Doggy!

After surviving an alien invasion (http://www.scottsemegran.com/index.php?option=com_content view=article id=49:take-me-to-your-leader catid=35:shows Itemid=58), pretty bird is back to fight another day. Pretty bird vs. bad doggy! Let's get ready to rumble! 5pEL_pVgfW0

20 Questions with the Sniper Twins

The Sniper Twins (http://www.snipertwins.com/) are quite the creative duo. Barry Flanagan and Dax Martinez-Vargas can throw down a beat with hilarious lyrics that are worth checking out if you have not done so yet. They recently put out a new video called, Computer Friends [Stack The Memory]...

You're a Big Girl Now

I sometimes do things that serve as a painful reminder to my wife that she is, in fact married to a great big girl. This week she and I decided to get rid of an old futon that had resided in a spare bedroom in our home. We called the Salvation Army and...

Your Winter Horoscope

The stars might be bizarre in the upcoming season Aries (March 21-April 19) Finding a mitten in a snow bank strangely leads to your sex-change operation and eventual bankruptcy. Your chili recipe incorporating yak meat is a big hit at a meeting for periodontists. That water skiing squirrel comes into your life in an unexpectedly personal way....

Uh...Okay Then....

Ever have that feeling that you've been there before? Of course, everyone has! It's called D�j� vu! But have you ever experienced Deja Too? You've been there twice, but still couldn't block it out? Picture it, you are way out of your element....

Demonic Possession? No Thanks.

Ever been possessed by the devil? Neither have I, really. I only bring the question up because I rented the Exorcist on video last week, and it really made me wonder who among my friends and acquaintances had ever been possessed. I couldn't think of anyone offhand, but maybe they just hadn't mentioned...

It's the Little Tragedies

Deerhunter and more

Deerhunter - Microcastle (Kranky) buy now cd (http://www.buymusichere.net/rel/v2_viewupc.php?storenr=13 upc=79644181272)� buy now vinyl (http://www.buymusichere.net/rel/v2_viewupc.php?storenr=13 upc=79644181271) Finally, we see a physical release for the long leaked and digitally released Microcastle. All the drone and gaze is still there. As are the effects laden multi tracked vocals that you can drown in. The glistening pitchshifted bright guitars. Walls...

Voting Blocks

Here it is, the final week of the presidential campaign and I know what you're thinking: is there a single person left in America who hasn't been the subject of some form of candidate outreach? Hockey moms, gun-totin' crazies, undecideds who are driving the rest of us...