(5.01) Alicia was diagnosed with ovarian cancer one month before her 23rd birthday. Seven years later, she became what is known in cancer parlance as a “late recurrer”. This is an essay from her smart, painful, funny site: A Little Bit Worse. Read with permission.

photo: Shea Lowry

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(18.11) In part one of this interview, Victor Rodriguez paints an entrancing picture of Mexico City in the early 1920s. Find out what happens when his granfather decides – at age ten – to leave his small town and walk to Mexico City to seek his fortune.

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(3.39) Click: images to capture your imagination. Go straight home.

music: Exponential Tears by Mindthings

photo: Jose Mamona

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(49.16) Tonight, I’m your favourite babysitter. The one who let you eat mint chocolate chip ice cream, and watch the scary tv movie. Like: The Haunted. Starring Sally Kirkland. You thought suburbia was safe, but there are some things even your gated community can’t keep out.

Let’s watch this ridiculous based on a true story tv movie together, want to?

guests:
Lorraine Warren Danella Milanovich
Mommy Valina of Strangely Literal
Little Boy Andrew Ball of Between the Lines Studios
Council of Atheists Will McGree of The Contingency
Father Seventies Cop Brian Brown of A Slice of Sci-Fi
Father Larson Chris Hvidsten of Outcast
Rick Clay Robeson of Clay Robeson Creative
Ma Smurl Kymm Zuckert of the Mighty Kymm
Sally Nikki Atkins of Halau O’ Hula Hawaii

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(10.18) Nikki Atkins of Halau O’ Hula Hawaii tells us a true story of fish, and tragedy, and redemption.

photo: Joe Sullivan

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(4.50) Overheard: the recipe for Poor Man’s Gatorade. Then, Toronto sketch troupe Video Comedy Rewind brings us “The Nanny Walk Of Hope”.

guests: Elizabeth Green Musselman of Missing Link, Brian Brown of A Slice of Sci-Fi

photo: Video Comedy Rewind

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(13.44) “We were Mexican twins, born a year apart to a beautiful teenage mother, and an embittered Army enlistee who never made it to Korea because of a bum leg and an already battle-scarred heart…” by Deborah Méndez-Wilson. Read with permission.

guests: Nikki Atkins of Halau O’ Hula Hawaii, James LeVeque of Tomato Blue

photo: Alexander

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(13.44) “I’m 29 years old, and I’m living smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt…”

guests: Kymm Zuckert of the Mighty Kymm, Nikki Atkins of Halau O’ Hula Hawaii, Todd Tyrtle of The Long Ride East, Brand Gamblin of BrandG, Andrew Ball of Between the Lines Studios

photo: Whoo Hoo

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(4.51) The Legend of the TTC; and I only see her at dusk.

guests: Shelly Brisbin of Shelly’s Podcast, Chris Hvidsten of Outcast

photo: Richard Masoner

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(6.25) I overheard two people talking in a restaurant; and “Letter To A Nation”, by Raffi. Included with permission.

guests: Andrew Ball of Between the Lines Studios, Cami Peacock of Nuurdy Girl

photo: Sean Garrett

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(29.55) When I lived in the 44 story Ivory Tower, the residents would watch the elevators open like gazelles in an African plain. The Mormon Missionaries lived on the 40th floor, and happily pounced on any people dumb enough to get into the elevator with them.

And I’ll tell you what, when you’re five feet tall standing alone in a box with five towering guys who hold sacred everything you hate, your fury can get the better of you. Which is how I ended up demanding an interview from the Ivory Tower Mormons.

guests: Brian Brown of A Slice of Sci-Fi, Will McGree of The Contingency

photo: Deseret News, Dave Amis

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(4.27) Sweet Cedars 1.1. “Catherine and I could hardly believe Sweet Cedars was real. I think it was about ten minutes into the tour that I looked at her, and she looked at me, and we knew…”

guests:
Henry Will McGree of The Contingency
Voiceover Valina of Strangely Literal
Testimonials Valerie Hunter of Movies for the Blind, Andrew Ball of Between the Lines Studios

photo: Mykaul

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(2.59) I am riding the bus. Next to me are two children. A five year old girl in pink. A three year old boy in blue…

photo: D. Sharon Pruitt

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(22.14) Romance comics were wildly popular from the late forties to early sixties. If you’ve never read one of these hilarious pieces of… um… “art” – I won’t spoil it for you. The audiodrama you’re about to hear is taken absolutely VERBATIM from a real romance comic published in the fifties. The radio host is all QN.

guests:
Radio Host Kymm Zuckert of the Mighty Kymm
Ellen Nikki Atkins of Halau O’ Hula Hawaii
Tom Paul Maki of Between the Lines Studios was Tom
Sorority Girls Kate Southey of Knitting Not Drowning, Gwen Davie
Doctor Brand Gamblin of BrandG
Police Officer Brian Brown of A Slice of Sci-Fi
Paul Levi Sauerbrei of Escape Clause

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(6.08) Ten Things I’ve Learned From Living As A Short Man With Scoliosis, by Ken Hall, read with permission by Brand Gamblin of BrandG. Submit your own Ten Things.

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(6.14) Charlie Veitch headed out to St. Paul’s Cathedral, the London Stock Exchange, and the Bank of England armed with three things: a megaphone, a sign, and free hugs. He recorded the results. (Look for the next episode: November 1st. I’ll be working like crazy behind the scenes on upcoming QN episodes.)

photo: Miuenski

music: “Before You” by Ant Neely

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(6.58) Were people really smarter in 1984?

guests: Brian Brown of A Slice of Sci-Fi, Kate Southey of Knitting Not Drowning, Athena Muze of Upsidedown and Halfway to Happyland

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(4.20) Lou vs. Rick. A man teaches his cat to use text messaging. Episode 4. Written by Shane Cyr.

photo: Maccio Capatonda

guests: Kymm Zuckert of the Mighty Kymm, James LeVeque of Tomato Blue

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(9.33) Lou vs. Rick. A man teaches his cat to use text messaging. Episode 3. Written by Shane Cyr.

photo: Jake Kitchener

guests: Kymm Zuckert of the Mighty Kymm, James LeVeque of Tomato Blue

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(5.25) Lou vs. Rick. A man teaches his cat to use text messaging. Episode 2. Written by Shane Cyr.

photo: Neil Mallett

guests: Kymm Zuckert of the Mighty Kymm, James LeVeque of Tomato Blue

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(6.40) Lou vs. Rick. A man teaches his cat to use text messaging. Episode 1. Written by Shane Cyr.

photo: Mikko Luntiala

guests: Kymm Zuckert of the Mighty Kymm, James LeVeque of Tomato Blue

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(4.51) Josie Henley-Einion of Casting Pods reads an imaginary letter from Thomas Jancis‘ granddaughter.

photo: Allie Kenny

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(5.23) Jenny Serwylo writes an imaginary letter from her 15 year old self.

photo: James Vaughan

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(14.03) Sage tells a true story about her life in 1978 California.

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(23.17) Bat Eyes performs “The Bat” live on stage. This improv format takes place entirely in the dark, and the audience is encouraged to close their eyes. This performance includes Sage Tyrtle, Todd Tyrtle, Josef Addleman, Danella Milanovich, and Jason Donovan.

photo: Vic DeLeon

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(52.58) The Quirky Quiz 2.18. Kymm Zuckert of the Mighty Kymm proves that Americans DO SO know geography, Melissa Bartell of Escribition explains that pigeons are godless, Sage discovers that long blonde hair causes bad taste in movies, and Jancis of Thomas Jancis wanders the moors in the snow, sobbing. And possibly selling matches.

photo: Marc

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(7.26) James LeVeque of Tomato Blue reads Jack Layton’s last letter to Canada.

photo: Jackman Chiu

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(5.08) Nikki Atkins of Halau O’ Hula Hawaii reads an imaginary letter, written by Melissa Bartell of Escribition.

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(6.21) Brian Brown of a Slice of Sci-Fi reads a real Toronto Craigslist post. Your rent is one dollar a month, and the move-in costs are $600 (fully refundable) and there’s just ooooooone catch…

photo: Mr. T in DC

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(6.02) “Summertime”, by Michael Wriston of The Myth of Fingerprints

Take heart, I haven’t deserted you. This summer has been INSANELY busy, real-life wise. Starting in September, I will have buckets and buckets of free time to devote to QN. Next episodes: August 8, August 12, August 15, August 19.

guests: Cami Peacock of Nuurdy Girl, James LeVeque of Tomato Blue

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(13.59) Part two (listen to part one) of Kate’s hilariously true story of suburban intrigue. “I move to this village, and I become friendly with a woman up the road. And she says to me – and at the time it struck me as slightly odd – ‘You’ll love my husband.’”

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(12.00) Part one of Kate’s hilariously true story of suburban intrigue. “I move to this village, and I become friendly with a woman up the road. And she says to me – and at the time it struck me as slightly odd – ‘You’ll love my husband.’”

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(41.38) The Quirky Quiz 2.17. Brian Brown of a Slice of Sci-Fi phones in from 1994. Melissa Bartell of Escribition will marry you, but only if you live in a different house. Athena Muze of Upsidedown and Halfway to Happyland is wearing a ruby red bikini and reclining on the beach, while Sage rides her bike to the Tall Tower, to rescue her One True Love.

(I know there are some audio quality issues in this episode, my apologies. I’ve resolved the problem for future Quizzes.)

photo: James Blann

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(29.43) When we moved to Canada, we landed in Thorncliffe Park. A vibrant neighbourhood filled with saris, skullcaps, hijabs, and laughing children. I talked to Faizel Karmali about growing up in this Highrise Village.

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(6.12) Nikki Atkins of Halau O’ Hula Hawaii tells a true story.

photo: Michael Hanscom

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(48.33) Put on your favourite polyester panstsuit, pop some popcorn and sit down next to me. We’re going to watch Jaws 2 today.

photo: Benjamin Lehman

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(5.25) The 2009 Target Catalog, by Woes of a Barren Lesbo. Included with permission.

guests: Kymm Zuckert of the Mighty Kymm, Athena Muze of Upsidedown and Halfway to Happyland, Andrew Ball of Between the Lines Studios, Cami Peacock of Nuurdy Girl, Valina of Strangely Literal, Gwen Davie

photo: Todd Lappin

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(19.20) This story begins: “I am nine years old. I am having a fight with my father’s girlfriend, Deborah, and I am saying: ‘You’re not my mother!’ and she is saying, ‘YOUR MOTHER is a SCHIZOPHRENIC and a LESBIAN.’ She’s not making this up. My mother is, indeed, a schizophrenic and a lesbian…”

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(4.18) I asked for true stories. Jancis of Thomas Jancis on Twitter tells the story of how a misthought-out metaphor resulted in the loss of his religion.

photo: Tom

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Please note Every moment of my time is devoted right now to a huge storytelling event at the end of May. New episodes of QN will return the first Monday in June, PROMISE.

(10.00) Josie Henley-Einion of Casting Pods tells a true story about her days as a student nurse.

photo: Ronn Aldaman

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(4.53) Sendai is a city on the northeast cost of Japan, which was decimated by the earthquake and tsunami in March of 2011. This is a letter from a Canadian ex-pat living in Sendai. Read with permission.

guests: Nikki Atkins of Halau O’ Hula Hawaii

photo: Dr. Logan

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(5.10) What would happen if advertisements were honest? Brand Loyalty. The new fragrance.

guests: Nikki Atkins of Halau O’ Hula Hawaii, Kate Southey of Knitting Not Drowning, James LeVeque of Tomato Blue

music: “Sale” and “Particule” by Silence

photo: Wil Taylor

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(4.22) The first in a new series of Honest Advertisements. “You like your community…” Tagline by the Seacowcoalition. Used under a Creative Commons license.

guests: Shelly Brisbin of Shelly’s Podcast, Elizabeth Green Musselman of Missing Link, Nuchtchas of Nutty Bites, Gwen Davie, John Pavlich of Sofa Dogs, Todd Tyrtle of The Long Ride East

music:

photo: Robert Couse-Baker

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(2.38) XKCD “2009 Called” by Randall Munroe. Used under a Creative Commons license.

guests: Kymm Zuckert of the Mighty Kymm, Adam Gratrix of Transpondency, Andrew Ball of Between the Lines Studios

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(47.27) The Quirky Quiz 2.16. Will McGree of The Contingency explains how to identify members of the Russian Mafia. Newcomer Chris Comerford of Mind’s Eye has to cross the ocean and several continents to find the right friend. And Kate Southey of Knitting Not Drowning finds your rough Housing Estate past JUST ENTHRALLING.

photo: Danny McL

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(7.24) “Ten things I’ve learned from temping as a receptionist at a reinsurance office” by Jess Grant. Read with permission.

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(28.58) In 1984, we were worrying about passing math and who to dance with at the school dance. Doina was living in communist Romania. I talked to her about her experiences.

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(3.11) “Road Sage” by Rosscott of The System. Included with permission. You can find a print of this comic at HilariAwesome.

guests: James LeVeque of Tomato Blue, Adam Gratrix of Transpondency, Justin Atkins of Halau O’ Hula Hawaii, Brand Gamblin of BrandG, Athena Muze of Upsidedown and Halfway to Happyland, Valerie Hunter of Movies for the Blind, Cami Peacock of Nuurdy Girl

photo: Spacing Magazine

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(4.01) I overheard a man talking on the streetcar; and a Bufferin commercial from the year 1980.

guests: John Grady (see actor reel)

photo: Doug Wheller

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(3.31) “They’ll Say She Must Be From Another Country” by Imtiaz Dharker. From the poetry collection “I Speak For the Devil“. Read with permission.

music: “Fairy Tale for the Lonely” by Fri.Events Orchestra of Jamendo

photo: Braden Gunem

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