Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
.A: Dayscare centers.

Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo.

Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
A: Boo boos.

Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A: A BOO-logna sandwich.

Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: The Eerie canal, Lake Eerie ! or Mali-Boo

.Q. What’s a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?
A: The roller ghoster.

Q: Where do ghosts buy their food?
A: At the ghost-ery store.

Q: Where do ghosts mail their letters?
A: At the ghost office.

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite fruit?
A: Booberries.

Q: What kind of street does a ghost like best ?
A: A dead end !

Q: What did the baby ghost eat for dinner ?
A: A boo-loney sandwich !

Q: What do you call a ghost’s mother and father ?
A: Transparents !

Q: How did the ghost song and dance act make a living ?
A: By appearing in television spooktaculars !

Q: What are little ghosts dressed in when it rains ?
A: Boo-ts and ghoul-oshes !

Q: Why are ghosts bad at telling lies ?
A: Because you can see right through them !

Q: What did the ghost teacher say to her class ?
A: Watch the board and I’ll go through it again !

Q: How do ghosts learn songs ?
A: They read the sheet music !

Q: What is a ghost’s favourite day of the week ?
A: Frightday !

Q: Where do ghosts get an education ?
A: High sghoul !

Q: What did the polite ghost say to her son ?
A: Don’t spook until your spooken to !

Q: What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
A: Hoblin Goblin.

Q: What do you call a prehistoric ghost ?
A: A terror-dactyl !

Q: Who speaks at the ghosts’ press conference ?
A: The spooksperson !

Q: What should you say when you meet a ghost?
A: Howdo you boo, sir?

Q: What kind of mistakes do ghosts make?
A: Boo boo’s!

Q: Why did the ghost go to the amusement park?
A: He wanted to go on a rollerghoster !

Q: Who’s the most important member of a ghost’s football team ?
A: The ghoulie !

Q: When does a ghost have breakfast?
A: In the moaning.

Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite breakfast?
A: Ghost toasties with booberries, Scream of Wheat or Dreaded wheat !

Q: What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
A: Coffee with scream and sugar.

Q: What is a ghost’s favourite dessert ?
A: Boo-Berry pie with I-scream !

Q: What do ghosts dance to ?
A: Soul music !

Q: Where do ghosts live ?
A: In a terrortory !

Q: What color are ghosts?
A: BOOOO!

Q: When do ghosts usually appear ?
A: Just before someone screams !

Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite ride?
A: A roller ghoster!

Q: What do ghosts have in the seats of their cars ?
A: Sheet belts !

Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner ?
A: Ghoulash !

Q: What kind of ghost has the best hearing ?
A: The eeriest !

Q: What does a ghost swim in?
A: The Dead sea!

Q: Who did the ghost invite to his party?
A: Anyone he could dig up!

Q: Who was the famous ghost detective?
A: Sherlock Moans.

Q: What vehicle does a kid ghost like to ride?
A: A boocycle.

Q. Why did the ghost go to the doctor?
A: To get a Booster shot.

Q. What do ghosts eat for breakfast
A: Dreaded wheat.

Q: How did the ghost patch his sheet?
A: With a pumpkin patch.

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite bird? A: scare crow!
Q: What does a ghost put on his cereal in the morning?
A: Boonanas and Booberries.

Q: What kind of cars do ghosts drive?
A: Boo–icks.

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite Broadway play?
A: phantom of the opera!

Q: What did one ghost say to another?
A: Do you believe in people?

Q: What did one ghost say to another?
A: Do you believe in people?

Q: What do ghosts eat for dinner?
A: Spook-ghetti.

Q. What is a ghost favorite article of clothing?
A: Boojeans.

Q: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
A: Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Q: What time is it when a ghost haunts your house?
A: Time to move to a new house!

Q: What’s a ghosts favorite desert?
A: Boo-berry pie & I scream.

Q: What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?
A: Whipped scream.

Q: What did the mother ghost say to the baby ghost ?
A: Put your boos and shocks on !

Q: Why are ghosts cowards ?
A: Because they’ve got no guts !

Q: What story do little ghosts like to hear at bedtime?
A: Ghoul delocks & the 3 scares.

Q: What is a ghost’s favorite party game?
A: Hide-and-go-shriek.

Q: What do ghosts say when something is really neat?
A: Ghoul

Q. Why did the ghost rush home from school?
A: To watch an after-ghoul special on TV.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, poodle, & a ghost?
A: A cocker-poodle-boo!

Q: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
A: He is mist.

Q: Who protects the shores where spirits live?
A: The Ghost Guard!

Q: What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?
A: You look boo-tiful tonight.

Q: Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
A: So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

Q: Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
A: He didn’t have a haunting license.

Q: What did one ghost say to the other when they fell down?
A: I got a booo booo.

Q. What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A: A boo-tie.

Q: What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
A: mas-scare-A:

Q: Why do ghosts and demons get along so well?
A: Because demons are a ghosts best friend.

Q. Who did the ghost go with to the Halloween party?
A: With No-Body!

Q: What do baby ghosts wear on their feet?
A: Boo-ties!

Q: What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
A: Tombstones

Q: What do ghosts mail home while on vacation?
.A: Ghostcards.

Q: What do ghosts do when they’re in hospital ?
A: They talk about their apparitions !

Q: What’s the 1st thing ghosts do when they get in a car?
A: They boo-kle their seatbelts

0587. A GUD PIECE OF HUMOUR
A Russian woman married a Canadian gentleman and they lived happily in Toronto . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.
One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs.. She didn’t know how to put forward her request, and in desperation, clucked like a chicken and lifted up her skirt to show her thighs Her butcher got the message, and gave her the chicken legs.
Next day she needed to get chicken breasts, again she didn’t know how to say it, and so she clucked like a chicken and unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breasts. The butcher understood again, and gave her some chicken breasts.
On the 3rd day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages. Unable to find a way to communicate this, she brought her husband to the store…
..
..
..
..
..
..
What were you thinking?

Hellooooooo, her husband speaks English!

What u smiling for – get back to work….

0588. A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”

“What dear?” She asked gently.
..
..
..
..
I think you bring me bad luck.

0589. ( FUNNY JOKE ) Does Management know their Staff ?

On walking into the factory, the Managing Director of the

Company noticed a young guy leaning against the wall, doing nothing.

He approached the young man and calmly said to him, “How much do you earn?”

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such

A personal question, he replied, none the less, “I earn $ 2000.00 a month, Sir. Why?”

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed

$6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, “Around here

I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty!

Here is your 3 months salary, now GET OUT and don’t come back”.

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner,

“And that applies to everybody in this company”.

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, “Who’s the young man I just fired?”

To which an amazing reply came – “He was the pizza delivery guy , Sir!”

0590. male and female

Many times, people say that the women species talk too much…
But there’s no problem because the male ear is SELECTIVE
Example…
When the women say:
“This House is a mess, Honey
You and I need to clean this
Your stuff is all on the floor
you will be without clothes
if you don’t wash them now!!!”
..
..
..
..
The male ear only understands:
bla, bla, bla, bla, Honey
bla, bla, bla, bla, You and I
bla, bla, bla, bla, on the floor
bla, bla, bla, bla, without clothes
bla, bla, bla, bla, now!!!

This is too funny – I still have tears in my eyes! Finally, a chain letter that I don’t mind forwarding.
It’s funny (don’t break chain)

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done..

The monsignor replied, ‘When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.’

So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.

Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

1) Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.

2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spooky.

David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.

9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.

10)We do Not refer to the cross as the ‘Big T.’

11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, ‘take this and eat it for it is my body.’ He did not say ‘ Eat me’

12)The Virgin Mary is not called ‘Mary with the Cherry’..

13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.

14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St.Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s.

The Origination of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on. The one who breaks the chain will have bad luck.

Do not keep this letter. Do not send money just forward it to five of your friends to whom you wish good luck and a great laugh.

You will see that something good happens to you four days from now if the chain is not broken.

Text Quotes and Text Messages 0486 – 0500: Tagalog Sad Love Quotes
Text Quotes and Text Messages 0421 – 0440:  Sad Love Quotes
Text Quotes and Text Messages 0151 – 0170:  Sad Love Quotes

More Sad Love quotes to follow… Just watch out!!

0577. Dad, you’re someone to look up to no matter how tall I’ve grown.

0578. Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.

0579. Im So Gald that ur my father.. w/o u dont know wer i am.. now.. tnx for ol the kisses & hugs.. i Just Wanted To Say That How Much i Loe You Even SOmetyms I DO SometHin THat Uve Not Expeted For Me.=( Sorry if I Lost Your Trust On Me As Your Daugther…

But NOw.. I WIll Promise That i will Be A Good DAughter Of U.. SOrry Tay For THe Things THat Ive Done. Sorry If Im Not W/ u Ryt Now On This COmming F’sD. I Don HvE Any Gift THat I WIll Give TO u.Tay, Its Me Jane.. Ehe.. Hapi FAthErs DAy TNx For BEing My TaTay For Me Ur The best Dad That I Ever Known.. Ehehe ^^- tnx FOr EVerything.. Ilove YOu..  Hapi Fathers Day TO ALl. =)   – From – Jhanexhen

0580. What Makes a Dad
By: Anonymous

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle’s flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,
He called it … Dad

More Father’s day Quotes and text messages to follow…

How to Stay Married

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They
had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had
kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a
shoebox in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband
never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but
one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she
would not recover.  In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man
took down the shoebox and took it to his wife’s bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the
box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of
money totaling $25,000.  He asked her about the contents. “When we
were to be married,” she said, “my grandmother told me the secret of a
happy marriage was to never argue.  She told me that if I ever got angry
with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.”

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears.
Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with
him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst
with happiness.  “Honey,” he said, “that explains the dolls, but what
about all of this money? Where did it come from?”

“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

0566. Missing someone isn’t about how long its been since you seen them or talked to them. It’s about every moment you’re doing something you’re wishing they were right there with you. Miss you honey! happy valentines day!

0567. Love is, of all the passions, the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously, the soul, the head, the heart and the senses. Happy Valentine’s Day!
More Valentine’s day quotes and text messages to follow

0556.  May the new year bring you with lots of cheers and blessings.. God Bless you and your Family. Happy New Year!!!

0557. Prosperous New Year, Peace, Love, Health, and most of all filled with God’s blessings. HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!!!

0558. Wish you all the blessing and your family.. have a happy and exciting new Year mwah!

0559. A blessed year, a relaxed mind, a peaceful soul, a healthy body, a loving heart, and answered prayers. This are my wishes for you and your family. Happy Prosperous new Year!!!

0560.  Dear <recipient>,
May you and your family have a Happy new Year. I still remember the times we shared back in < enter place where we became friends>, and how much you mean to me. Wishing you all the blessings! Send my regards to .
Yours Truly,

 
0561. More peace, more love, more fulfilled dreams this coming year 2009! May the good Lord bless you and your family always! A prosperous new year to you

0562. We’re a little bit older, a lil bit rounder, but still none the wiser. Happy New Year, another chance to get it right this time. Happy New Year!

0563. Only the new Us can make 2009 a new and prosperous year. with a pure heart and a renewed mind, God will work on our behalf. Masaganang Bagong taon!!

0564. Wishing you a Happy New Year filled with joy and prosperity!

0565. Wishing you a wonderful and fruitful New Year! Arriba!!

Texted by my friends: Maira,Rik,Irma,She,Tere,Ecko

Enjoy!!!!

Text Quotes and Text Messages 0271 – 0280: New Year Quotes and Text Messages
Text Quotes and Text Messages 0241 – 0250: New Year Quotes
Text Quotes and Text Messages 0231 – 0240: New Year Quotes and Greetings
Text Quotes and Text Messages 0221 – 0230: Christmas and New Year Text Messages
Text Quotes and Text Messages 0171 – 0190: Christmas and New Year Messages
Text Quotes and Text Messages 0121 – 0130: Christmas and New Year Quotes
Text Quotes and Text Messages 0061 – 0070: New Year’s Day Quotes and Greetings

Happy New Year!!! and Enjoy!!!

0546. SIMOY ng Pasko ay narito na!…

MERRY…

GALO ka na ba sa akin? hehe… nagpapaalala lang..

yung MERRY…

bon ha?

MERRY..

Klamo??? hehehe

0547.  Sa panahong ito ng kapaskuha, isa lang ang lagi mong tatandaan, huwag tumimbang ng higit sa bigat ng inyong refrigerator! wahahaha

0548. Hay Pasko na naman! ang lamiggg!! wag mo kakalimutan gift ko ha??? Maligayang Pasko!!!!

0549. Ang Pasko ay panahon ng pagsasaya, ng pagbibigayan, panahon ng pasasalamat sa mga biyayang ating natanggap.  Maligayang Pasko at Manigong Bagong Taon sa inyong lahat!!!!

0550. Lechon man ay nais kong ipadala, at may hamon pang kasama, pero diet mo ay aking inaalala , kaya TEXT na lang… zero cholesterol pa! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

More Tagalog christmas quotes to follow!!!