Rachel's Ramblings

Keepin' it real

2012-01-19T14:17:00.003-05:00

It's about to get really real, up in here.

Growing up, I encountered many families with varying backgrounds and sizes. But I can only think of one or two that were blended or where the parents were divorced. So my experience with this blended family thing has mostly been trial and error. Lots of error. I'm not going to beat myself up for the mistakes that I've made, that we've made, but I know that I want to learn from them and, Lord hep me, not repeat them. But it is so hard. So very very hard.

Raising my bigs, Sarah & James, I felt like I always had extra kids in the house. They had half-siblings on their dad's side, who I adore, so sharing my time and love with someone else's child was not new to me. But raising someone's child? A whole new world. Part of the problem is that it's near impossible to communicate with W&C's mom and co-parent with her, so we end up making headway and then they spend time with their mom and it's all undone. I don't blame W&C (well, sometimes I do, that's the error part I was talking about) because I know that they are just kids who want to be loved, need to be loved, unconditionally. Try as I might, unconditional love just doesn't come as easily as it does with your birth children. Like I said, I'm just keepin' it real. I love W&C yes, but I know and I'm sure they know, it's not the same way that I love my own children. And I know that they don't love me the same way they love their mom. I don't believe they should, anyway. If it were just W&C here, I think it would be easier, but we have Daniel and Keelan, so I know they can see the difference. It's not intentional, it just is. I don't know how to change my heart, though. I want reach them in a way that is special, but I get met with resistance, which I can only assume is them feeling not loyal to their mom. I also feel like they can probably sense that I'm working at it - it should be natural. But it's not.

We are about to be back in court with their mom. She has filed a petition to regain custody. Neely and I are optimistic that we will prevail, as is our attorney, but it's an annoyance. A fight that we did not need or want. W&C know about it (from her, not us) and I know it that it causes them stress. They don't know if they are coming or going. Their mom has told them that it's practically a done deal and just as soon as we go to court, they will be back with her. We have not discussed it with them at all because we don't want to add to their burden. We don't want them to feel like they need to choose between their dad and their mom. We don't want them to worry. Things here are status quo.

We're fighting for them because we know this is the best place for them. They need stability and consistency. And love. Only I'm not so sure that I demonstrate the latter to the best of my ability. I'm ashamed to say it, but it's truth. It's real.

New Year's Eve and Breast Milk Shots

2012-01-03T18:43:00.002-05:00

What do those things have in common? Well everything if you're in my circle of friends. It was an interesting night to say the least.

Neely and I went to a party at a friend's house for NYE. We left Keelan and Daniel at home with Sarah and Will & Clayton were with their mom. Since this was only the second time since his birth that I've left Keelan alone for more than an hour, I needed to pump while we were gone. At one point in the evening I started chatting with a friend about my recent Facebook posts, about the Kasey Kahne NIP (nursing in public) comment and why I was so passionate about a woman's right (and baby's right to eat) to nurse anywhere, anytime. Another friend overheard us and started going on and on and about his girlfriend's sister who had spilled breast milk on the kitchen counter, where he prepares food and how grossed out he was by it. He compared it to him putting semen on the counter. He had had a few drinks, as did I, so I went to my purse and grabbed my bag of freshly pumped milk and started chasing him around the kitchen. Later, his girlfriend (who is pregnant, by the way) told me to put some milk in his beer. I told her I would give her a bit and she could do it, but I didn't think I could. She couldn't get him to put his beer down long enough, so since the milk was in a shot glass, she poured some orange juice concoction into it and tried to get him to take a shot. The drink was cloudy so he caught on right away and refused to drink it. At this point the host of the party (who is also equally grossed out by breast milk) grabbed the shot glass and tried to get guy #1 to drink it, all the while the drink is spilling all over his hand and arm. Me? I'm nearly peeing my pants laughing at all this and I could hardly talk to tell them to stop before another friend offered to man up and drink the shot. And he did. On the up side, he said it kept him from having a hangover the next day. *giggle*

Dear Target:

2011-12-29T17:19:00.004-05:00

Breastfeeding is not obscene. See?

Recently in a Houston, Texas area Target, a breastfeeding mom was harassed and humiliated for breastfeeding, discretely, in the store. Yesterday, a nationwide Nurse-in was staged in more than 250 Target stores in 35 states across the country and even in Canada. Here I am with one other mom, nursing our babes in our local Target.

Also? Have you seen NASCAR driver Kasey Kahne's Twitter debacle after he encountered a nursing mom in a grocery store?

Kasey later apologized on his Facebook page, stating in part:

My comments were not directed at the mother’s right to breastfeed. They were just a reaction to the location of that choice, and the fashion in which it was executed on that occasion.

But clearly, based on the above, he still has no idea.

23 Years ago today ...

2011-11-10T14:34:00.000-05:00

I met a tiny little baby girl who stole my heart. I have never ever been the same. Happy Birthday to my oldest, my sweet baby girl, Sarah Michelle!

I love you more than sunshine!

My kid is funny

2011-11-08T17:13:00.000-05:00

So funny, in fact, that I often update my Facebook status with the hilarious, random things he says. I was doing that several times a week so I decided to make a fan page for him. Stuff Daniel Says is Daniel's new Facebook fan page. Be sure to "like" it and follow along with us.

His most recent, while on the way to the dentist today I said "I want you to be a big boy and not scream today." He said, "OK mom, but if something hurts, it will be appropriate to scream, right?" Appropriate? What? Seriously boy, you're 6!

My quiet house.

2011-07-01T19:46:00.000-04:00

I usually love living in chaos. Don't get me wrong, I don't like problems, but when there are lots of people around and constant chatter, it pleases me. It's one of the biggest reasons that I miss James. He always had friends over and they kept me entertained.

Having Will & Clayton come live with us was a huge adjustment. We're still adjusting even coming up on two years (wow!) now. Although, they have court ordered visitation with their mom, she doesn't always exercise it to it's full potential. She usually only sees them once every 4-6 weeks for a weekend. They are visiting with her this weekend. We've actually just got home from dropping them off and I'm sitting here, in silence, and think to myself "I could get used to this". But the reality is, I really enjoy having them here, even if it's not ever really quiet till bedtime. I miss them when they are gone. It's a realization that I wasn't expecting. I have anticipated this weekend for about ten days and now that it's here, I don't like it much. Strange.

I'm certain I will appreciate it again tomorrow morning. Will & Clayton are early risers and Daniel likes his sleep, like me.

Big update - alternatively titled I'm not dead.

2011-06-29T19:28:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I haven't had the energy to post anything in 6 months. Where do I start?

I'm 34 weeks, 5 days pregnant today. 4 or 5 more weeks (or less) and I'll have a new baby boy. Yes, boy! We are very excited. Neely and I are naming him Keelan (Gaelic, meaning small or slim) David (my brother's middle name). I expect him to arrive at the end of July, at the latest. He's giving me the run around right now. We do not know if he's head down or breech, but we should know within the next week and we'll make a decision on how to proceed. The thought of a c-section is not something that I really want to consider, but I dislike the thought of a external version even more.

Gabby is now 6 and a half months old. She's crawling, sitting up on her own and even starting to pull herself up to a standing position on her own. She has one tooth on the bottom and the second one is just starting to poke it's way through. She's such a joy and is mostly a happy little thing. Sarah is doing such a good job and I really only have to nag at her once in a while.

James is good, too. He recently moved to Kentucky to live with my parents and got a job as an HVAC apprentice. He trained in HVAC in high school, so he's got the skill, just no experience. He's liking it so far. I'm missing him like crazy, but I really think this is a good move for him. He was in an accident in April (alcohol related) and totaled his sister's car, was flown to shock trauma, but miraculously only had a bump on his head. Wish I could say the same for the telephone pole that he hit, but that stuff is replaceable. I do think he learned a very valuable lesson and I'm happy with the progress he's made, emotionally since the accident.

Will just finished 6th grade. The last few weeks of school were difficult, to say the least. He ended up in two fights, suspended twice and kicked out of English class for insubordination. He spent the last few weeks of the school year grounded. We're not sure why he was making such poor choices, but I think there were lots of contributing factors, not the least of which is relationship with his mom. We are seeking out counseling services for him right now because budget cuts have left the school without a counselor. He has worked with this counselor for the last two years and was making really good progress with her. I feel like this is a set back for him, but we're going to do what we can to get him talking through his issues. He's a really good, smart kid and I love him dearly, I just wish I knew how to help him better.

Clayton just finished 4th grade and is looking forward to 5th. He as a girlfriend who lives around the corner and was in his class this year. He told my dad that he had kissed her. Of course, Dad teased him after that. He's a bundle of energy and always getting himself into trouble because he can't keep his hands from exploring everything, even things he knows he shouldn't be touching. He recently broke my netbook by twisting the top in the wrong direction, this just days after breaking the blinds on the back (deck) door. It's impossible to figure him out, because if you ask him if he knew he shouldn't touch something he knows that he shouldn't have, but he just can't control his impulses. All in all, he's fun to have around though.

I'm feeling pretty frustrated with step-parenting right now. I feel like I never get a chance to enjoy them because I am constantly on their case about their behavior. I know a lot of it is not their fault because they had so many bad habits before they moved here. I know they don't purposely do things that annoy me, but it's still hard because lots of their behaviors baffle me. I know this is something that I need to work on, on a personal level though.

Daniel is super silly. He's about to turn 6 and will hopefully start 1st grade this year. He's a little behind on reading and there was some concern that he wasn't ready for first grade. He was the second youngest child in the school this year, his birthday just 4 days before the cut off to be able to start school. We had several meetings with his teacher and the principal about whether or not to have him repeat K or go ahead and move him up and just work with him closely this summer and over the next year to get him up to speed. As is stands right now, we are not making a decision till after he attends a 3 week summer program in July.

So that's my update. I'm sure I left some stuff out, but I'll be back to posting as usual. Pinkie swear.

Daniel makes me laugh.

2011-01-18T15:09:00.000-05:00

Out loud and often. He says the funniest stuff. Mostly because he's hearing his brothers say things and he doesn't fully understand what they mean, but he'll repeat them anyway. Yesterday our conversation went like this:

Me: What in the world are you screaming about?

Him: Well, Clayton and me built a town and I wanted to be mayor and he said I didn't do enough to build the town and I did; I made the train tracks and I built the flinger thinger to fling bad guys out of the town.

Me: Giggling

Him: Mom, I'm being serious.

Me: I know you are, but you're also being cute.

Him: Mom, I'm being serious serious, not serious funny. OK, Clayton also said I couldn't vote for myself.

Me: Well, I think you're cute and you can vote for yourself. People do it all the time in elections.

Him: See, Clayton, I told you so! I'm voting for myself and I'm the mayor of this town.

I don't know where he comes up with some of this stuff. And "flinger thinger" is definitely a new term for me, but I'm gonna use it again.

No, I don't have the flu

2011-01-04T20:56:00.000-05:00

I'm just pregnant. Uh huh, I'm not kidding. I'm a pregnant grandmother. Our new baby is due August 5, 2011.

Neely has been pretty hesitant about me sharing this news because of our last loss, but anyone he's trying to keep it from does not read my blog. Or at least I hope not. I am very excited! I was very nervous for a while, but 2 days before Christmas we had an ultrasound and got to see our tiny baby's little heart beating away at 168 beats per minute. I'll turn 39 two months before this baby is born and I'm totally OK with that. We are going to get some prenatal testing, but only so we know what we're up against, if anything. I am really not that worried about it, to be honest.

Morning sickness has hit me hard this time around. While I haven't thrown up (yet), I have been pretty sick most evenings, starting at just around dinner time. It's made fixing dinner really hard. It also prompted Will to ask if I was coming down with the flu. We have not told the younger boys about the pregnancy yet. Neely wants to tell them at the end of the month when I hit the second trimester. Sarah and James both know and Sarah was ecstatic for me and James seemed pretty indifferent. He's a man, after all. *insert eye roll here*

I anticipate that I'll probably end up with a late July baby as opposed to August, but I would really like to hold off till August. See, my parents have 7 grandchildren if you include Will & Clayton (and they do!). Sarah and Lauren (Philip's youngest) were both born in November. James & Alison (Philip's oldest) were both born in July. Will & Clayton have birthday's in March. And Daniel is all by himself in August. I'd love for him to share his birth month with a sibling or cousin and since my brother and sister-in-law are not planning on having any (more) children, I guess it's up to me!

I am looking forward to blogging more and sharing this journey with you! Stay tuned for more updates!

Trying this again

2011-01-01T17:44:00.000-05:00

Last year I started a 365 Photo blog on January 1st. I made it to March before I stopped posting everyday. It was around th time of my miscarriage that I gave it up. I just didn't have the energy for photography at that point. But this year, I really want to keep it going no matter what. I'm committed to taking and posting at least 1 photo per day, every day this year.

Happy New Year! Follow along on my Project 365 here.

My perspective: Gabby's Birth Story - Alternatively titled: My Daughter is Amazing

2010-12-22T21:26:00.000-05:00

If you follow me on Twitter you probably know lots of this already, but read on anyway.

Sarah had her last prenatal appointment on Tuesday, December 14th. December 14th is her original due date, but an early ultrasound pushed her back to December 22nd. Sarah was close to 5cm dilated on Tuesday and 100% effaced. Dr. Yeshnik had previously discussed with Sarah that he was going to be going away starting on Thursday and would not be back till the following Monday. He said that since she had dilated so far on her own with virtually no contractions, he could schedule her for an induction on December 15th or she could take her chances and possibly end up having an on-call doctor deliver her. Since she had never met any of the other doctors, she chose the induction. I know there is a lot of controversy about scheduled inductions and I'm not going to debate it; I'm just telling Sarah's story.

Sarah arrived at the hospital at 7:00 a.m. on Wednesday, December 15th. By 8, she was comfortably situated in her room and waiting for Dr. Y to make his appearance. The house doctor checked her at 8:30 and there had been no change since the previous night. They started the IV Pitocin about that time. She had a few contractions after that, but nothing too painful yet. At 9:30, Dr. Y came in and broke her water and told her that the anesthesiologist would be in to discuss the possibility of having an epidural, but he told her that it was iffy because of her platelet count. It turns out that her platelets were at 89 and they won't give an epidural to anyone under 90. Sarah was only going to be allowed IV pain meds. I felt horribly for her because I've had labors augmented by Pitocin and I know how bad contractions are with it.

By 10:15, the contractions were coming pretty steady but Sarah was managing the pain pretty well. By 10:30, she had about had all she could take and asked for some Nubain for pain. They were having some trouble picking up Gabby's heartbeat on the external monitor so they had the house doctor come in to insert the internal monitor. They also checked her dilation and she was 7 cm. In the time it took me to walk outside to tell those waiting in the waiting room that news, Dr. Y had come in and checked her again and by 10:50, she was 9! I could not believe how fast it was going. I think I tweeted at that point that I thought she'd be ready to push by noon. At 11:00, the nurse finally gave her the Nubain, but it never really had time to kick in and relieve her pain. At that point she started feeling like she needed to push. The nurses had her breath through the urge to push for about 20-25 minutes to let her body do some work and also to prevent her cervix from swelling. At 11:30ish, she was fully dilated and ready to push. Dr. Y didn't arrive till 11:40 and after 4 series of pushes, Gabrielle Margaret Jones was born at 11:47 a.m. She weighed in at 6 lbs 14 oz, and was 19.5 inches long. She is absolutely perfect in every way!

I've given birth three times; I've witnessed the birth of three other babies and this experience was by far the most amazing thing in my life. Sarah did so well, I cannot even explain how proud I am of her. And I'm totally in love with this tiny baby girl!

Why I don't do santa and other fictional characters.

2010-12-10T08:00:00.000-05:00

That's right. I said it. We don't do santa at our house. As in, no gifts under the tree "from" santa, no milk and cookies left on a plate, no trip to the mall to sit on santa's knee and no trying to explain how big fat santa can fit down a chimney, that we don't even have. We just don't do santa.

Now, that's not to say that I go out of my way to explain to my 5 year old that santa is not real. I certainly don't want him to go to school and tell his friends "my mom said santa isn't real" and have to explain that one. We just don't talk about santa. At all. We talk about Christmas, for sure and also what presents we'll be getting and what presents the kids really want. I enjoy Christmas and love seeing the how excited the kids get on Christmas morning when it's time to open presents, but I just don't think filling their heads with stories (lies) about how santa flies all over the globe on Christmas Eve has any bearing on what Christmas is supposed to be about.

I'm sure part of my beef with santa is that I didn't grow up believing in him. I remember being 3 years old and my grandfather calling my cousins on Christmas Even pretending to be him and neither Philip nor I talked to him and we knew all along that it was our grandfather. Also, from as far back as I can remember, I was taught the real reason we celebrate Christmas and I want to pass that on to my children. I also never wanted my kids to wonder what else I was telling them that might not be true. There have been years when Christmas was bleak and there was just no money for the gifts that they really wanted. I never want to see my kids disappointed that all-knowing, all-seeing, can make reindeer fly, super santa didn't come through for them, when they been just as good as the next kid, who's parents were better off than we were.

Santa just does not work for our family. If it works for you, then great. Your kid, your family, not my business.

Day 6 of 30

2010-12-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

Favorite super hero and why.

Hrm. I'm going to have to go with Wonder Woman. I always liked Wonder Woman as a kid. I had a Wonder Woman doll (like a Barbie) and of course what girl child of the 70's didn't have Wonder Woman Underroos! I liked Wonder Woman because she was/is beautiful and always seemed to have it under control. I wish I was like that in my life. I don't always have it under control, but I really strive for that.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

2010-12-08T11:15:00.000-05:00

well, not at my house since I'm such a slacker and don't have a tree up yet. I probably will get it up next week. I do have lots of packages stored away that will need to be wrapped as soon as the tree is in place. I feel like I'm ahead of the game a bit this year, even with all that is going on in my life right now.

We go to Court next week with W & C's mom and hopefully will finally have a resolution on the child support issue that we've only been trying to get resolved since April. It won't be much money, but it certainly will be nice. We are also eagerly awaiting the arrival of Sarah's baby, who is due in less than a week. We've had two false alarms already and we are so ready to meet Miss Gabrielle. I for one am on the edge of my seat!

We met recently with the IEP (Individual Educational Plan) team for Will. We are really excited about some of the things that we are going to be working on to help him with his (lack of) organization. He somehow manages to lose everything at least once. It's really bad. The latest loss is his entire gym uniform. Although Clayton is not immune from that sort of behavior either. We just last week had to replace Clayton's lost winter coat.

Last Saturday night, Neely was asked to judge the instrumental aspect of Century High School's talent contest, "Century's Got Talent". I tagged along and photographed the event. They thanked me in the flyer for my donation of "professional photography" for the event. I only snickered a little at that "professional" part. I'm working hard on editing the over 700 photos from the event. Oh and if you're a fan of America's Got Talent, you'll recognize this guy from Season 4. Drew Stevyns is from Maryland he made a special appearance at the talent show this week. Cool, huh? Yeah, yeah. I'm easily impressed.

This Saturday we're supposed to judge/shoot Liberty High's talent show. Of course, depending on Sarah I might not make it.

5 of 30

2010-11-24T20:44:00.000-05:00

A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.

Well, I've been to lots of places, but the furtherest was to England in 2003, to visit my nieces. I don't have the original pictures any more due to the "hard drive crash of 2009", but some of them did manage to get saved on photobucket.

Big Ben

The Crooked Spire in Chesterfield

I'm guilty.

2010-11-13T17:20:00.004-05:00

I didn't even know I was guilty until recently. You're probably guilty too and don't even know you're doing anything wrong.

What am I guilty of? I'm glad you asked. I'm guilty of improperly using a car seat with a winter coat. And I've been doing it for years; how bad is that? Children are not safe in car seats while wearing their winter coats. They just aren't. There are other ways to keep your kiddos warm and safe and my good friend Maddie showed me how and also why it's not safe for your children to wear winter coats in their car seats. Maddie is a certified Child Passenger Safety Technician (as well as a great mommy!) and she posted these pictures on Facebook as a demonstration. Maddie has given me permission to share them with you. These are her pics, as well as her comments on them.

Maddie used her cute (then 4 year old) son for this demonstration.

Winter coats in car seats are NOT SAFE! Here are some tips to keep your child warm AND safe this winter.

This goes for passengers in boosters or seat belts as well. The coat will compress and leave the seat belt too loose. For infant seats, do not use bulky snow suits or a Bundle Me. Instead, use a "shower cap" style car seat cover that fits over their infant seat. (Something like this: http://amzn.to/9sJeH9 )

*PLEASE feel free to share this album! I made it public so people can repost it :)

I've been getting lots of messages so I thought I'd post this here- I am a certified CPST. (Child Passenger Safety Technician). I live in Minnesota where the winters are brutal, and my kids don't freeze. :)

I put his winter coat on and buckled him in. I tightened it as far as I could. He looks safe, right? He's not- click the next pic to see why!

I took the coat off and put him back in without loosening the straps at all. (If you doubt me, give it a try!) In a crash, that bulky winter coat will compress, leaving the harness much too loose to protect him. The huge force from his body will push the chest clip down, if not break it. You would never buckle your child in like this, right?

If he can easily do this, imagine what would happen in a crash.

His shoulders easily slip out. He has no upper body protection, and nothing to hold him in his seat.

To keep your child safe, first put them in their car seat with no coat on and adjust the straps properly. (harness snug and not twisted, chest clip at armpit level, straps at or above shoulders for forward facing/straps at or below shoulders for rear facing).

Make sure you can't pinch the straps at their collar bone. If it passes the "pinch test", it's tight enough. (don't make it so tight they can't breath, just nice and snug)

Safe Option 1 - Fleece!
I didn't have to loosen his straps at all, and he's warm. Fleece will not compress in a crash, so his harness is tight and he is safe. In addition to a hat and mittens, and maybe a blanket for their lap, this will keep them plenty warm! Promise.

Safe Option 2 - The Coat Trick
Put them in their seat with no coat on and tighten the straps properly. Unbuckle them (without loosening the harness!) and put their coat on. Pull the sides of the coat through the harness so the straps sit on your child, not on their coat.

Then buckle them in properly (harness snug and not twisted, chest clip at armpit level..) The harness is tight without the bulk of the coat between him and the straps. Once you get the hang of it, it doesn't take any extra time to get their coat through the harness with their arms.

You can zip the coat *outside* of the harness and keep them warm AND safe!

I've gotten some messages from people who are concerned about trying to unzip the coat in an emergency. You absolutely do not have to zip the coat if you're not comfortable with it. :) It's always the caregiver's decision. However, if you are in a crash, you should leave the child buckled into their car seat and remove it from the vehicle. This will keep them still in case of head/neck/spine injuries, so the zipped coat won't matter.

You could also put their coat on backwards after they are buckled, or look into something like a car seat poncho.

Thanks Maddie for sharing your little guy and your car seat knowledge with us! I hope this post will help keep kiddos safe this winter. If you have questions about this or any other aspect of car seat safety, stop by and visit the Car Seat Safety board on JustMommies. Maddie and others CPST's and car seat safety advocates will share their vast car seat knowledge with you.

Day 4 of 30

2010-11-07T16:57:00.000-05:00

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have.

Man, that's a rough one. I have lots of bad habits. From drinking too much caffeine to sleeping too late, to snacking on SweetTarts too much. But I think the habit I wish I didn't have the most was my impulse purchasing. Although I am much much better than I used to be about this, I still struggle with purchasing things that I really don't need at the moment. It's tough on my budget, but since lately it's been snack foods, it's also tough on my butt. And right now, since I'm in the smallest pair of jeans that I've worn since 1991, I want to keep those impulse items out of the house.

Praying for you!

2010-11-04T15:27:00.000-04:00

You know you've said it to a friend who's going through a rough patch. I've said it more since being a member of JustMommies, than ever before. But how often do I actually sit down and pray for those people that you say you're praying for. Sure I think about them often, but do I talk to God about them? Do I really lift them up in prayer? Do I ask friends and family to pray for them too? Really?

Yeah, if you're like me, not so much. It is so easy to say "you'll be in my thoughts and prayers", but so hard, at least for me, to actually follow-through.

Right now a few of my virtual and real life friends are going through some very rough patches and I am committed to lifting them up in prayer today. Will you join me?

Could you pray for Chrisa & Chuck? Could you pray that they find peace and know that despite everything God has a plan for them and whether that includes a son for them or not, that they know God's presence?

Could you pray for Teresa and her son, who is in the hospital undergoing some tests?

Could you pray for a dear friend of Sarah's who just had a miscarriage last night?

Could you pray for Betsy and her son, Stephen who is battling cancer, and who just recently had their house burglarized?

Could you pray for me as my angel baby's due date approaches?

Oh Monday, how I love you!

2010-10-18T20:07:00.000-04:00

I am probably one of few who really look forward to Monday, but I really do love Monday. I know. I know. I'm crazy. It's just that when we've been in the house all weekend with all three boys, Monday when everyone goes back to school is like a vacation for me. Sure I have to pack lunches and get up early, but I get 8 solid hours of quiet. Blessed peace and quiet. I love Monday. I just can't get enough of Monday.

This weekend was especially long for me. Neely was gone both Saturday and Sunday with Carbonstone, in the studio recording. Not to mention that Friday there was no school and everyone, Neely included, was home and all up in my space. Add on top of that both of the older boys being grounded and by Sunday evening, I was nearly ready for the psych ward. Also, my Ravens lost. :(

Seriously, though. I just like the routine of weekdays. So, what is your favorite day of the week? Do you love Mondays like me? Perhaps you live all week for Friday? Or is Sunday your favorite day because you get to watch football? (Sunday is definitely a close second after Monday for me, only during football season of course!)

3 of 30

2010-10-18T09:00:00.001-04:00

A picture of me and my friends. This is a tough one because if you know me, you know that I'm the one with the camera all the time. I did manage to wrangle up a few pics of me with my friends.

This is my and my best friend of 25+ years, Cricket.

And me and my best JustMommies bud, Nicole.

Crock Pot Corn Chowder

2010-10-17T20:19:00.000-04:00

I have a love affair with my crock pot. It's bad. I just can't stop trying new things in it. The last few weeks, I've been looking for recipes for a corn chowder and really wanting to try it. I didn't follow any one recipe, but used bits and pieces of several that I found. I made a huge pot of it so there was sure to be leftovers, but this is easily halved. I have a 6 quart crock pot and it pretty much filled it up. Here's what you'll need to try it:

2 cans of creamed corn

2 cans of whole kernel corn (drained)

2 cans of chicken broth

1 can of evaporated milk

10-12 slices of bacon, cooked & crumbled

1 small onion (or dry minced onion flakes)

6-8 medium potatoes, cubed

1 cup of sour cream

2 cups of shredded cheese (any kind; I used a mexican blend because it's what I had)

2 table spoons of flour

salt & pepper to taste

1/2 stick of butter (4 table spoons)

Combine all ingredients except cheese, sour cream, milk, butter and flour in your crock pot. Turn it to high and allow to cook for 4-6 hours, stirring occasionally. About an hour before you're ready to eat, melt your butter in a pan over medium heat. Whisk in the flour till you have what looks like a paste. Be sure not to let it burn and you'll want to stir constantly. Slowly add the can of milk, continuing to whisk until it's combined with the flour/butter mixture. Once combined, add it to your crock pot and stir well. In the same pan, add your sour cream and then ladle in some of your chowder and whisk it well. Once the sour cream is mixed in, you can add it back to the crock pot and stir well. Let it cook for about 45 minutes more to thicken. Finally, add your shredded cheese to the crock and stir it while it melts. Serve with corn bread and you'll make your tummy happy. I swear.

Let me know if you try it!

Feeling some kind of way

2010-10-14T23:55:00.002-04:00

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. In previous years, while I was aware of the day, it was not a day that affected me personally. This year is much much different. I am feeling pain and heartache today as if it were yesterday. It doesn't help that my due date is approaching and that members of my due date club on JustMommies are starting to have their babies and here I am with an empty womb and a broken heart. Don't get me wrong, I am happy and excited for my friends; it's just that their joy magnify's my loss. I am even having trouble as Sarah's due date creeps up on us. I am happy for her, excited to meet my grand daughter, but mourning my angel at the same time. It's a crazy blend of emotions.

So today, think about me and my angel mommy friends, like Chrisa, Nicole, Brittanie, Rebecca, Melissa, Brandy, Astrid, Melissa, Sarah, Holly, Heather, Christine, Teresa, Patty, Trish, Claire, Jennifer and so many more. Too many.

Day 2 of 30

2010-10-14T20:30:00.000-04:00

The meaning behind your blog name

This is easy. My name is Rachel. Sometimes when I talk, I ramble on and on and on, so I named my blog Rachel Likes to Ramble. I wanted to change the name at one point to his, mine & ours - the diary of a blended family, but the url was taken.

Day 1 of 30

2010-10-11T11:52:00.000-04:00

A recent picture of me and 15 interesting things about me.

Dad, me & James - August 2010 - Pinnacle Overlook in Kentucky

1. I'm 15 months younger than my big brother, the baby and a total Daddy's girl.

2. I have crooked pinkies. They are also short.

3. I drink Diet Dr. Pepper. Like, a lot. But I would drink SunDrop everyday if they sold it in Maryland.

4. I'm in love with a rock star.

5. I don't think I'll ever be a morning person. I prefer to sleep till noon everyday.

6. I like to stay up late at night after everyone else is asleep. This pisses Neely off.

7. I am not domestic, but I love to cook. I just don't like to cook every day.

8. I'm terrible with money. I don't have a budget and I buy impulsively.

9. I've had the same cell phone number since 1999.

10. I hate talking on the phone and would prefer to text or email. I love my Blackberry.

11. Neely is only the 3rd serious long term relationship that I've had, and I've been with him (happily) for nearly 7 years; the longest despite being married previously for 10 years.

12. Raising someone else's child is difficult on the best days, but it's my calling and I embrace it.

13. I'm excited to meeting my grand daughter in December, but I'm not the least bit excited at the thought of being a grandmother.

14. I have a thing for remembering numbers, but I have found that the older I get the harder it is for me to remember them. This makes me sad.

15. I am a low maintenance girl. I can get out of bed and be ready to walk out the door in 10 minutes. 15 if I need to shower.

Snatch & Steal

2010-10-11T08:00:00.001-04:00

I saw this on my friend, Trish's blog and thought I would try it. I can't guarantee that I'll do it all in 30 days, but I will do all 30 days. If you start one, be sure to add a link to your first post in the comments section here.

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about blogs and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Who are you?

I'll be back tomorrow with my first post. Hopefully.