In addition, Bob told me that when his kids suggested “Frugal February” he was only half paying attention and thought they said “Frugal Friday”!  No problemo…just do without for one night and we can all go to IHOP in the morning for pancakes…imagine his shock.  So, the Dunnings went to the store to stock up for the month…problem is they didn’t buy enough.  By now they are running pretty low and have had to make choices like make pizza with their last 2 cups of flour or make glue for homemade Valentines….the kids chose to make glue!

Bob Dunning is a columnist for the local paper The Davis Enterprise and wrote about this “experiment” of his family.

He has chronicled his families challenges in his column.  Bob told me that it isn’t just about food.  They don’t go to movies…don’t rent movies…don’t turn on the TV…no video games (it takes electricity and that would be spending money).  They also walk to as many places as they can, haven’t purchased any new clothes and he told me a story about spending an entire afternoon watching the crows in their backyard and determining which one was the dominate bird and which one was the dumbest.  Bob says that it’s not all bad.  The month without distractions has brought his family close together and they actually talk more now and are even considering continuing the “Frugal” theme past February.

So how about you?  Is this something you would or could try with your family?  We tried going one night, last year, without lights so we could help my daughter understand how hard things were for the pioneers. Living frugally used to be a way of life.  Benjamin Franklin advocated living frugally and saving your money “for a rainy day”.  I think we could all learn some valuable lessons from people of just a generation ago.  What do you think?

THE WINNER IS:         Ken Gosnell

Congrats Ken!  Congrats also to the New York Giants and their fans!   What a great game!  Hopefully, if you’re a dad, you had the chance to watch with your family and discuss the finer points of sportsmanship, fair play, hard work, perseverance and the fact that in life, not EVERYONE gets a trophy.

Thanks also to all of you who signed up for my NEW newsletter.  Please tell your friends about us here at radiodad.com!

Mike

Late in 2011 we were all treated to perhaps one of the best movies about being a dad in a long time.  The film was “Courageous” and while it did not get huge press, it did connect with dads and is now out on DVD.  I just saw the numbers and “Courageous” is the top renting movie ahead of “Moneyball” and “The Ides of March”.  You, most likely won’t see much of “Courageous” at the Oscars, but that doesn’t matter to guys who want good, thought provoking, action packed entertainment that doesn’t turn dads into bumbling goofballs who only fart and drink beer or are portrayed as work-a-holics out of touch with their families.  The dads in this film are not perfect….just like you and me!  Are there challenges for the characters in “Courageous” to over come?  YES…that’s the point.  ”Courageous” unapologetically shines the light on a group of dads who are all police officers and deal with issues of family that you and I face and the dangers of their job, and how they creatively handle those challenges to a successful conclusion.  Lot’s of twist and turns, action and yes even emotion (guys can have some of that too).  Click the link below to visit the movie’s website, watch the trailor, etc!!!!

****By the way, you only have a couple more days to sign up to win the book “Raising Lombardi” by Ross Bernstein.  Check out the blog on this page to enter!!!

Listen to the Radiodad.com Podcast for the entire interview with Ross Bernstein below:

About The Book

To raise it means you’ve won it. And to win it means you’ve survived a season-long journey fraught with peril and untold adversity. In his highly anticipated sequel to “Raising Stanley: What it Takes to Claim Hockey’s Ultimate Prize,” Ross Bernstein interviewed more than 75 current and former NFL players and coaches who all had one thing in common—they were champions. Raising Lombardi features in-depth interviews, rich history, and inspirational stories of determination and perseverance from players and coaches of all eras, including: Jerome Bettis, Steve Young, Mike Ditka, Paul Hornung, Joe Theismann, Tony Dungy, Jerry Kramer, Mike Singletary, Bart Starr, Lenny Moore, and Drew Brees, among others. These players’ accounts span more than a half-century of football champions—from the NFL championship games featuring the likes of Frank Gifford and Johnny Unitas, to the first Super Bowls matching the NFL’s and AFL’s best, to the modern era where conference champions meet in the most highly anticipated sporting event of the year. The champions’ reflections are not limited to remembrances of the ecstasy of winning, however. Superstars share the ingredients to their teams’ success—the unique chemistry, leaders, and ways of tackling adversity that composed the magical recipe of a champion. A chapter is dedicated to coaches, where players explain the strategies and motivational techniques implemented by coaches from Vince Lombardi and Tom Landry to Bill Belichick and Mike McCarthy. Players also share how their championship experiences affected their lives after football, influencing their success in business and in life. Raising Lombardi is full of unheard stories, from hilarious behind-the-scenes antics in the huddle, the practice field, under the pile, and on the team plane, to poignant life-lessons and hard-earned wisdom about motivation and leadership that resonate from the locker room to the board room. Entertaining as well as compelling, readers will learn about the win-at-all-cost mentality necessary to claim the game’s ultimate prize and what it truly means to become a champion. Raising Lombardi celebrates the honor, courage, and sacrifice that bonds teammates together and is a must read for any die-hard football fan who wants to know what it takes to be a winner both on and off the gridiron.

Ross Bernstein

Steve and his wife now make up “Drywater Productions“, a video company producing web video for various companies, documentaries, commercials and Steve even has a couple of screenplays in the pipeline….whatever it takes move along down the road of dad-preneuer-ship!

Steve is dad to two small children and I asked him how it was working out. He said, “It’s kind of tough to balance being a dad and at the same time, focus on running Drywater Productions.  Especially if I’m knee deep into a job and the kids are wanting a little daddy time, I really want to stop and just play for a while, but I have a deadline to keep.”  Steve said that a dad who works from home really has to keep in mind that just because you’re home doesn’t mean you can stop work whenever you like and it’s important to stay on task.

Work/family/home life are all things we dads have to keep in balance, but it’s a bigger challenge for the dad-preneuer who chooses to work at home.  Steve also said that an advantage to having a video production business at home is being able to use their vintage, 1800′s house as a “prop” and fantastic on site location….plus putting his kids in videos!  Are you a Dad-preneuer?  Share your story…and challenges with us here.

Imagine your son, the boy you held in your arms on the day he was born, the boy you always dreamt of buying the uniform with your favorite football team logo, the precious boy you couldn’t wait to see make the game winning touchdown…..being diagnosed with Hemophilia.  That has been my challenge for the past 6 years.  My son, Gabe, is a healthy, very active 9 year old boy.  He has his favorite teams, sports, movies, hobbies and for all intents and purposes lives a normal, 9 year old’s life…except he has mild Hemophilia A.  Hemophilia, in my son’s case, is that he has a Factor 8 deficiency which cause’s his blood not to clot. 
It’s because of this disease that Gabe must always be careful not to get injured or bruised. My heart jumps very time the school calls my, first reaction is my son got hurt and I might have to take him the ER.




My son and I have a great relationship and my daily joy is being a dad.  I have 2 other children, daughters, who are not Hemophiliacs but one of them is a carrier and she could pass it on to one of her sons or more. We do family things together such as camping, theme parks, we play board games, watch movies etc..  It’s those times when my son will watch other boys his age playing football or even his own sisters jumping on the trampoline and ask, “Dad, why can’t I do those things?” or crying in his bed at night “ asking “Why did I have to have this problem”, that makes me sometimes be at a loss for words and very choked up.  I have spent many nights lying awake praying and crying for him asking God to help him, deal with his unique dilemma. He is a very special boy to me he may never be able to do a touchdown dance or be a rock climber, but there is one thing he has and that is the heart of a angel.

     As you can see having a son with hemopilia A can be a challange,but with a little faith and prayer, God will help us get through this. We take each day as it is given and keep moving forward, understanding that we all have to meet life’s challenges in confidence and courage and love.

Paul Huebner has been married for 19 years to his wife beth.They live in Michigan with there three childern and there dog named franklin. Paul has his owner of hgsadvertisement.com, an online hub for small bussinesses and groups with special events.

*sections from an article on Hemophilia taken from Novonordisk.ca

Many fathers face questions from their worried children when the loss of a job hits home. Getting laid off or losing a job has an emotional impact as well as financial. It affects your self-esteem as a man and your position as “Head of the Family”. There is no reason to sugarcoat what happens to a guy after losing a job. It’s like getting slugged in the gut! You stagger and maybe fall. You may not have seen it coming. You may have been told your job was safe and now you feel betrayed. The good news is these feelings can eventually pass, if you can just find ways to move ahead in your life.

How difficult the adjustment is depends on who you are inside and the type of job you had. Money will obviously be a concern. How much you share with your children about your financial situation depends on their age and level of understanding. But, even if you wanted to, you can’t your whole situation, after all you are around the house alot more. One father interviewed for this article stated that he didn’t go into much detail because he didn’t want to worry them…”I mean they’re only young once…why make them nervous?”. Nevertheless, children are curious about what their fathers do and will worry. This may be a chance to talk with them and really rally the family together!

Doing with less is not the end of the world. The obvious goal is to have the loss of a job affect your family as little as possible. There is a big difference between doing with less and doing without. And don’t forget that there are unexpected benefits to being home at times when you normally would be at work. One unemployed father told about his daughter who, after losing her junior class election for secretary, burst through the door in tears. Dad was the one who was home to hold her and comfort her.

Things will be o.k. if you can just get over the hump. Let’s face it…losing a job stinks! But, if you can steer through those rocky times, you and your family will be alright…you’ve always got each other! Job loss causes misery and hardship, but it can represent an opportunity to re-evalutate and emerge stronger. Sometimes losing a job is the best thing that can happen.

Check out Rose Stricker’s Blog on WCLO

  Sometimes growing up is the battle of a lifetime.  All too often the very one who should be our trainer, coach and mentor is in reality our first adversary. With or without intent, by abandonment or in person a Bad Dad is the first high hurdle some face. Sadly, many may never clear this obstacle. Still, I have learned a trick or two bouncing off the mats towards maturity and I am not afraid to share.

 I say I am not afraid because someone can perhaps spin a sadder tale of woes and struggle than you or I can. The value in the story is not simply the height of the mountains faced and conquered. More important are the techniques that enable victory and the reason for fighting in the first place.

 My personal heartrending yarn begins with my mom and dads break-up in 1964. Dad was a truck driver, rarely around. It seems he was a good time kind of guy. Guitars, honky-tonks and hillbilly music so to say. 

 In a few years, my mom re-married and I had a step-dad. Interesting chap always had a 25-caliber pistol in the small of his pants. Under his careful watch, I learned how to load rocks and gravel properly on a wheelbarrow, proper concrete mixture techniques as well as the fine art of stonewall construction. For a five year old, this seemed fun for about six minutes.  

By middle school, it was accepted knowledge in my “family” that I was a stupid, worthless, talentless and ugly oaf whose laziness was the stuff of legends. Anger had long ago grown into bitterness and whole hearted hatred for me. So when a second round of parental infidelity and divorce erupted I was well equipped to embrace the dysfunction.

During this period, my mom had a nervous breakdown. For the better part of this time, she took her pills, drank cheap wine and cried. I hated watching her suffer all the while not quite able to understand much beyond the hate or to help beyond refilling her glass.

I share this sob story simply to point out that I have not recreated the hurts and chaos I was born and bred to continue. In fact, I have been married for nearly 20 years to one wonderful woman. I have seven children who range from high school to toddlerdom. Four of which are currently six-year-old quadruplet and I have been their at-home dad for some seven years.

What happened you wonder? Well, a bit of spiritual jujitsu, you might say. Oh, I spent a wayward youth and young adulthood. However, one night, Valentines Evening 1987 to be exact, I found out that God cared. That was the crazy evening that He put a snowplow in my path. While I was going 60 miles an hour!

No this is not an illustrative verse, an allegory, metaphor or what ever. I hit a snowplow! I hit it good and I hit it hard. I should have died but I did not even bleed. I later saw pictures of my car. If you had been in the back, you would have died, if you were in the passenger seat they would have had to bury the whole car to make sure they got all of you. I had only a big bruise right over my heart. Now there is your metaphor.

Now I am not an evangelist. I am just your average at home dad of Quads plus three. My goal is not preaching. It is simply to share the flat out in your face truth that turns all the anguish and hurt aimed at you, now and over the years, across your hip, over your shoulders and flat on it’s evil ass. Learn this one simple move and you will be able to toss the weight of the world off your back.

 It is as simple as just plain FORGIVENESS! Yea I had a messed up dad and an even more messed up step-dad. Sure mom lost it and I was a messed up dude who made many bad choices. Nevertheless, the anger, the bitterness and wholehearted hatred I carried for them and I was nothing more than a chokehold from hell itself.

Our culture is dying one poorly parented child at a time. There is no government solution to this. Nor any social redefinition of marriage or family that will make a thimble full of difference. This all takes places in the heart and soul of guys like you and me. This is the battle of our lifetime. The reason to fight straddles the gulf between our own personal eternity and the hearts and future of the children we father. 

It is easy to forgive when you know you have been forgiven. It is also easier to follow an example than make it up on your own. This is where Christ made the difference for me. Now I am not an evangelist but I have seen and been a part of a miracle. Come to my house for a day and you will see it too.

My dad, he was drafted at 18 into the first wave of the Korean War and drove a truck for the Marines. By age 20, he had three Bronze Stars and accompanying Purple Hearts. That means he went through hell in a hat basket. He never got all the way over it either.

My step-dad was raised with an alcoholic father that beat him for sport. By 19, he had enlisted in the Navy and went out on liberty only to tie on a blind drunk that ended in a killing. From age 20 to 31, he was on the chain gang in the Georgia State Penal system for manslaughter. By age 33, he was parenting my brother and me.

Mom had lost her dad at 13 and developed a heart to help broken men. She did not realize that some wounds need a savior to truly mend the damage. She paid a high price for her well-intentioned efforts.

You see I know all this now and I can look back with compassion and love. I can let them all go and leave the hate and the hurt behind. This is the reason I purpose to be a dad like none my families history has ever seen. Forgiven, whole and aware of his place in the chain of fathers, sons, daughters and destiny. 

This guys, is my lesson in fighting the battle of your lifetime. It can be done and won. Spiritual jujitsu, bending like a reed in the wind and letting the pain blow away. Sound too simple but it takes time and practice. If you need an example that is my hope. Look at me and see a tiny bit of Jesus and the heart of the Father He and I share. In their care all the fighting ends and your own victory begins. Do not linger for your own snowplow to join us; your kids may not have the time to wait.

Mike Poff  

Byline:

Mike is the at home dad of quadruplets plus three as well as a freelance writer and columnist for Twins Magazine. He and his wife Pam live near the “Crest of the Blue Ridge” with their eight horses, seven children, six cats, five dogs and one guinea pig. He is perpetually working on his Master of Theology in his abundant spare time. 

Postpartum Depression For Dummies by Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D.

Maybe you think your loved one hasn’t been acting like herself for a while now and you’ve been encouraging her to seek professional help.  Or maybe you’re annoyed or angry with her for not responding to motherhood the way you or someone you know did or the way you think she ought to.  Maybe you didn’t even believe that depression was an illness at all until now.  And, finally, maybe you’re curious:  You’re really happy with the new baby, so why isn’t she?  After all, she’s the new mother – she should be the happiest of all.  You may be asking yourself, “What’s wrong with her?  Doesn’t she realize what a great blessing has come into her life?”

Lucky as she may be to have her new bundle of joy, a mom with a new baby may, in fact, realize the nature of that great blessing but may be completely and helplessly void of joy due to depression.  But with the help of another blessing in her life – that is, you, her loved one – she can be set on the road to recovery much faster.  The fact that you’ve picked up this book is a good sign for the new mom because even if this is the only chapter that you look at, you’ll get a good idea about what she’s likely feeling and thinking.  And as you gain clarity about what she’s experiencing, you’re bound to be better motivated and equipped to help her get the support she needs.

Showing your understanding and unconditional support

It’s critical for you to realize that your outward reaction to your loved one’s PPD diagnosis is important because it can affect both how she feels about herself and her ability to move firmly onto the path of recovery.  Remember that she may be feeling ashamed and therefore worried about and vulnerable to possible judgment from those people she’s closest to.

You may feel the urge to offer your opinion, to go into judgment, or to criticize her, yourself, or the doctor who gave her the diagnosis.  Hold all that in and wait until you understand more.  Any sort of negative judgment on your part will only aggravate and exacerbate the bad feelings she already has about herself.  Instead, simply say something like, “Interesting. It’s good to know this condition has a name.  Thank you for telling me.  As you learn more, I’d love to hear about it.” And give her lots of reassurance that she’ll get through this time just fine – support and reassurance is what she craves and needs.

Stay calm and be open to her sharing.  Encourage her to talk, but don’t push her to do so.  The more you listen in this way, the safer she’ll feel with you – and the safer she feels, the more open she’ll be.  But, if she chooses not to share much, don’t take it personally.  Her unwillingness to open up to you doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.  She simply may be a private person in general, or just not ready to open up to anyone yet.

Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D. (“Dr. Shosh”)

http://ClearSky-Inc.com