Much is written about the process, relationships and structures involved in multiplying churches. But one thing we can easily overlook is the friendship factor. My wife and I were, literally, without friends except for a few hours on Sunday during our first adventure.

We had planted the church without a team, though a few friends did help we only saw them on weekends. It was a very lonely situation.

The second time we had a core team and they were great people. Many are still with us 29 years later. Many others have gone on to launch other churches.

But the wondrous factor in our second church plant was that we partnered with a couple who were our best friends.

Friendship magnifies happiness and it blunts the force of misery. Staff, team and structure can never be a substitute for great friendships. I’m not saying that the team won’t grow great friendships—that’s a given. But starting with someone who is already a tight friend makes life a whole lot better.

A treatise like this wouldn’t be complete without bringing old King Solomon into the picture. He wrote, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

Giving deference to Solomon, especially the last part of the quotation would suggest that three best friends at the center of a church planting team are better than two. Either way, when visioneering and budgeting we should make room for the friendship factor.

Read more of Ralph's stuff here: The Friendship Factor | ChurchPlanting.com 

Or, check http://www.amazon.com/Ralph-Moore

   Where I live we celebrate “Pastor’s Appreciation Day.” Every year the local Christian radio station admonishes the saints to bless their pastors with cards and letters. I usually get one or two in spite of the fact that I think the appreciation usually flows in the wrong direction. I think we leaders and pastors too often under-appreciate the people entrusted to our care.

SELF APPRAISAL

   Some beat their church down in an unhealthy sort of self-appraisal. They feel that they aren’t doing enough to make the church grow so they demean its size. This assessment is really a reflection of their feelings about themselves or their own leadership ability. But, it becomes an unintended put-down on the Lord over that pastor’s congregation who said, “I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it” (Matthew 16:18 NLT). Church size is his problem. Caring for the believers is ours.

   Think you have problems, consider Moses. His “congregation” was growing because of illicit sex as the people partied around the golden calf. After the incident Moses was at an all time emotional low. In his conversation with the Lord, he reminded God that the people belonged to Him and that as a human leader Moses was he was just a follower of orders, “Please, if this is really so, show me your intentions so I will understand you more fully and do exactly what you want me to do. Besides, don't forget that this nation is your very own people” (Exodus 33:13).

   You and I need to remember the wisdom in his plea. The people don’t belong to us, so church growth is not our department of worry. Because they belong to him we must tend them according to his direction. The imperative in our lives is to hear and obey his directives 

COMPARISONS SUCK LIFE OUT OF A PEOPLE

  Our problems stem from our continued awareness of other churches. That awareness would be great if we could measure all the factors contributing to their health. Trouble is, most are not visible. There are no ideal standards to measure by.

Ideal Size

There is never an ideal church size. Every community is different. So is each leadership team. Many small towns and big-city neighborhoods can be served, most effectively, by the proliferation of small congregations. Wherever people identify closely with each other in their community they will choose a family-style approach to church.

Adequate Resources

If ideal church size is a myth, so is the concept of “adequate resources.” Many of my friends pastor smaller churches. They can often be heard to say things like, “If we were larger we could afford to do more.” The truth is that larger churches usually have less money in the bank compared to their income stream than do smaller congregations. They may have more dollars in the bank, but they are more vulnerable in a downturn. The same goes for involvement of volunteers. The larger the church the more difficult it is to achieve, say 80 percent participation.

None Better Than Another

None of this is to say that a small congregation is better than a larger one. Only, that you can’t defend a larger church over a small one. All are valuable in God’s kingdom—including the one you pastor.

DO YOU LOVE YOUR PEOPLE?

   Some leaders love their church, but have little concern for its people.

   Your people can sense whether you love them or not. They will feel your dissatisfaction if you are depressed over the size of your assignment. Or they will feel the joy you take from serving and sharing life with them.

   I recently watched a pastor struggle against his assignment. His church grew many times over from a tiny group to a very respectable size. But, he was never happy. He spent almost his entire tenure applying for jobs in larger churches. Finally he landed a position at a troubled church twice the size of the one he led. His people felt unloved and abandoned.

   This man’s successor unknowingly hit a raw nerve when he announced that he was thrilled to lead “these people.” That he felt called by God to “this place.” And, that he could spend his life in “this position.” The people went nuts with joy over their new leader. When asked if they didn’t feel guilty for transferring their affections so quickly they had a telling response. They said, “No, we don’t miss him. We also don’t think he misses us.”

   I wonder what those two pastors will be feeling five years from now. I’m pretty sure the first guy will be just as dissatisfied as ever. Given that he took a troubled church just because it was larger, he may not even be in ministry. I’d bet that the second guy will be joyfully serving in the job he just assumed. I’m also pretty sure that his congregation will grow because he appreciates his people and his role. Growth usually comes to those who are faithful (and happy) in the small places. 

But today turned out special. 

While I was waiting for my buddy to pick up his order I happened to notice a young woman intently reading what looked like a Bible. She was writing notes in the margin and highlighting sentences so I was pretty sure it was a Bible.

Then she bowed and began silently praying. The prayer went on for several minutes. By now I was pointing her out to my friend and kind of rejoicing in the faith of a total stranger. While that was going on she quit praying and pulled out a book to read--one that I had written.

I went over and asked if the book was any good. She told me she was only into chapter two and couldn't say, but did say that she enjoyed it so far. 

I told her that I had written it. Ended up autographing it, etc. But the cool part of the story is that she attends our church, but not during a service where I preach. She had no idea that my wife and I started the church or anything else. I was a total stranger. As we laughed about all this I found out that she is a friend of my daughter-in-law. 

Small world, filled with Jesus--a very pleasant connection!

Cornerstone Community Church, pastored by Yang Tuck Yoong was started in 1989 and has grown to more than 3,000 people worshipping in 12 services each weekend.

They are a missionary church. Four meetings are in English, the others in foreign languages. By the way, though most Singaporians are of Chinese descent, English is the national language. They invited me a year ago in hopes of multiplying their 70 overseas churches to 1000 in the pastor's lifetime. These folks have vision.

On this trip I preached in church and spoke in their School of Leadership. It was fun to speak to people who are really doing the ministry.

But what impressed me most was how much I learned from Pastor Yang during the time we spent together (eating the best Chinese food on the planet).

Pastor Yang is much more strategic in his thinking than I am. We've always just gone with whatever vision God put in someone's heart when it comes to church planting. At Cornerstone, they are praying for a grand plan and then will pray someone into place as the vision unfolds.

If the time there wasn't enough fun, I returned home to preach about Priscilla, Aquilla, Apollos and Paul. 

If Apollos hadn't been willing to learn from P & A, his ministry would have never fully blossomed. Paul had meager results in Corinth, but Apollos was able to build strongly on Paul's foundation. Meanwhile, Paul was in Ephasus building a movement upon the foundation layed there by Apollos. 

Life in the Lord is good when we can join hands in ministry...

Shawn said that his congregation has become a haven for single-moms and their kids whom he sees as the widows and orphans of the modern world. Many are Okinawan women whose American husband has left them either on deployment or through divorce.

The church has built a strong balance between men and women with men taking a strong role in leadership. 

It is the men's approach to ministering to women that caught my attention. Shawn says that women used to come to church looking for what he calls 3 "C" men--that is men who were calm, cool and collected. This is especially true of women hoping to marry (I believe the church should be a mating ground and that pastors should pray for this, actively).

But, this church has moved from 3 Cs to 4 Cs. The men have decided to lead by serving. they are Cleaning, Cooking, Caring for children and Christ centered. And they do all of this in a practical manner; in a way that disciples men into servant leadership in church and at home.

Men figure big in the leadership of this church. But they also volunteer to serve during an after-service discipleship time for the ladies. During this time, men clean up the church, cook barbecue, care for the children while the ladies have discipleship--and all this is done in a manner where the pastor is teaching them Christlike qualities during the process.

I've never seen anything like this. And, it is effective. This is a military/local congregation and the US military produces many broken marriages between servicemen and Okinawan women, usually the product of culture and language barriers. But the church has proven stellar at healing broken marriages. As a result the word is spreading, "If your marriage is in trouble go to Noah Community Church..." 

By the way, the church name comes from the concept of Noah providing a lifeline of hope during dark days. This church plant is a strong and healthy lifeline to hope. I want to teach the 4 Cs to our own guys...

This is a very productive time for us. It helps build unity into our staff. But more important is the atmosphere of challenge we've built into this time. We each challenge each other to stretch vision.

We normally spend Tuesday mornings in staff discipleship. This goes for about three hours each week and those are the most important hours of my working week. Outside my family, discipling our staff is the most important function in my life--more important than sermon prep, etc. This is where we keep getting leaders to plant churches.

Lots of pastors are into teambuilding. But much of that revolves around fun and staff outings or retreats. Yet, the master asked us to make disciples. He also spent massive amounts of time with twelve primary leaders, and more time with just three. 

Somehow most pastors seem to tradeoff Jesus' example for the flavor-of-the-month, in terms of books and current examples of success. Yet, in the long-term, those who make disciples are those who build movements. Think in terms of John Wesley, etc.

I submit that the most enduring investment you can make is that of making disciples of primary leaders in your team. If you have a paid staff, those people should be your top priority...

The book is a little hard to find. An Amazon search brought up a dozen ways to buy the movie but didn't list the book. I had to narrow my search to books in order to find it.

I can understand Amazon since so many people are into video. But they are selling us all short because the film (one of my favorites) simply does no justice to the book or actual history. 

For starters the king was a far more godly man than we see in the movie. Their relationship was far deeper than portrayed in the movie with the two men often meeting three times a week. The king, as a disciple, spent an hour a day doing excercises to stop the stammering. The list goes on.

The wondrous thing about the whole book is the accuracy of the subtitle. The full title is "The King's Speech: How One Man Saved The British Monarchy." At a time when Brits were losing faith in their system and themselves they faced their greatest challenge--Adolph Hitler. I personally don't get the whole "royal" thing, but they do and they needed their king as a symbol of strength in those dark days. While a stammerer would appear week, they got just the opposite. The book depicts Lionel Logue equipping King George VI to speak well long before he became king. When the darkness fell the man was already prepared.

The very cool thing is that most of the world will never hear of Lionel Logue aside from the movie and most will forget him in a very short while. But he materially contributed to the destruction of the Nazis and the freedom we enjoy today.

His life was amplified in the life of his chief disciple. Wish we could each say that about our own lives.

  Heard of an amazing Palestinian policeman who can only pastor in very small groups. Otherwise he could lose his job, or even his life.

  During the seminars I met some truly amazing people. Most operate “underground” or at least under the radar in order to avoid persecution.

  Got to experience Islam up close on an afternoon off when we visited the famous “Blue Mosque” and the Hagia Sophia (Holy Wisdom).

  Hagia Sophia was a church till the Islamic revolution several centuries ago when it was turned into a mosque with all the Christian art plastered over. Today it is being restored but as a museum, not as a functioning church.

  Read some very interesting Islamic literature. Doesn’t seem to square with images we see on television. But did meet some very nice Muslims.

  Back to the pastor in Palestine. He operates a sizeable church by meeting only in groups of two or three people. Anything larger would be dangerous. Yet, he prevails in evangelism and church growth.

  I think of our own experience in Hawaii. We often complain because of the cost of buildings or brag about being forced to meet in a park (illegally) when we started. We know nothing of hardship. But it is hardship that is the secret to this Palestinian pastor’s success. He is forced to make disciples while lots of others only talk about it…

  I'm on a Turkish airways flight from London to Istanbul. Been traveling for almost 29 hours and still another hour in the air.

  Had lots of time to think about three men we prayed for in church this weekend. 

  Tom, at age 40, is "graduating from High School Pastor to run Connect, our assimilation ministry. He's also by backup preacher when I travel. 

  Frank is 24. He's moving from the huge Jr Hi ministry he built to become High School Pastor.

  Brad, age 20 just took Frank's job in Jr Hi much like Frank followed Tom as Jr Hi Pastor several years ago.

  Someone challenged me for giving a 20-year-old a hundred plus kids ro care for. But to me, its a no-brainer...

  For one thing, Tom discipled Frank four years in Junior Hi and they've been partnering in the transition of Frank to High School for months.

  Brad came to us at age four, and began as a teachers helper with little kids as soon as he hit Jr Hi. Then as a high schooler he helped Frank run the Jr Hi ministry. After high school he stayed on to help Tom pastor those kids. At age 20, the guy has eight years of pastoral experience.

  So what's my point? Exactly this: "We are very serious about making disciples, and it pays off!" 

  This is just one of a hundred stories I could tell but my plane is about to land.

  But before they make me shut down my computer...did I mention that all of this started when Tom was 12? His brother bribed him to come to MiniChurch--for five bucks. He got saved and the rest has been a slow-cooking disciplship process that always brings good results!!!

I was in a plane on the ground when the second quake hit--stayed there for nine hours then lived in the airport for the two days following that. Happy to get out but must admit to feeling sorry for myself while I was there. Hadn't much news and didn't know the enourmity of it all.

Being home, I am so proud of all my Japanese friends and their desire to help the many broken lives. 

Many Americans are sending money to relief organizations (I recommend www.samaritanspurse.org), but some are getting it to local churches. One congregation is asking for a family or a church that they can support for a year to get them back on their feet. One friend is trying to organize just such an effort--though it may be difficult to work out the logistics. The wonderful thing is that they are working through churches to touch broken lives.

Japan has shown an unusual openness toward the gospel in the past two years. My prayer is that this huge setback somehow extends and widens that opening to the one source of eternal comfort and provision.

God is raising a new generation of churches and leaders throughout the country. Please pray for them to be able to do more than relief work. Pray that the Kingdom of God will finally come to Japan in strong measure.