RalphPerez

Lessons From Skydiving: Don't Jump Without A Plan

2009-08-04T21:44:00.014-05:00

Life doesn't come with a handbook. There's no manual. No F1 key to press when you don't know what to do. I would give anything to be able to pull up the Life PDF and search for "crazy woman" when Sara is flippin' out because I haven't taken out the trash. Or if I could search for "overdraft" to give me tips for negotiating when calling the bank to check my balance. Quick search terms would no doubt include: Breaking Up, Stressed Out, Crazy Kids and Relationship Issues.

As the plane climbed higher and higher, I asked my jump partner how far away we'd be from the landing zone when we jumped. He told me that we'd be 2 to 3 miles away. He said that at times they jump from up to ten miles away making adjustments for wind direction and speed. If you pull your chute to early, the wind could carry you way off course, pull the chute to late and you wont make it back. Here I thought we were just jumping out of a plane. Turns out the guys jumping with me knew exactly how far from the ground and how far from the landing zone we'd be when we jumped. They knew the direction and speed of the wind at 10,000 feet, at 6,000 feet and at 3,000 feet. All of that info went into their decision as to when we'd open the chute.

As I look back on the jump and the things I learned from being pushed out of a plane, I realize that you can't just jump into anything without some sort of plan. While there isn't a Life PDF to consult when you go through the difficult moments in life, having a plan helps eliminate some of the surprises.

Having a plan helps you eliminate distractions. If you don't have a plan, there's no way to know whether the job you're about to take will get you where you ultimately want to go. When you have a plan, your decisions are made with more purpose because you know that every decision either gets you closer or further from the bigger picture.

I've failed to follow this simple rule for most of my life and I've got the scars to prove it. I often felt as if I were at sea without a sail or motor, drifting wherever the current took me. It's no fun when you realize you're at a place in life where you never intended to be. Fortunately for me and for you, it's never to late to make a plan.

Do you have a plan? Have you kept that plan in mind over the last few major life decisions?

I'd love to hear a short description of the big picture you see for your life. Leave me a comment and let me and my readers know about your plan. Sharing your big picture will reinforce that plan in your mind and help remind you of the direction you should be headed.

Maybe you're like me and your plan hasn't been as well defined as it should be. Today's a great day for us to start painting our big picture.

Lessons From Skydiving: But I Could Die!

2009-07-31T22:03:00.008-05:00

"Are you afraid of heights," a good friend asked me when I told him I didn't want to go skydiving.

"No, I'm afraid of plummeting to my death from 10,000 feet in the air" I said, as I lied through my teeth.

Look, the truth is, I am afraid of heights. I even get a little weird when I drive over tall bridges. It's not the kind of fear that cripples me, I just start to feel uncomfortable. My "afraid of heights" symptoms include a tingling feeling in my legs and a feeling of dread in all the other parts of my body. I'm sure I hide it well because my daughter thinks that I'm not afraid of anything (she doesn't read my blog thank goodness).

So as I contemplated going skydiving last week, I used every excuse in the book (aside from me being afraid of heights) to try and get out of it. In the end, I decided to jump. I remember the moment just before a large crazy man pushed me out of a moving plane. I was terrified and I was sure this was going to end badly. Fortunately, the big guy in charge of my tandem jump didn't give me enough time to try and talk him out of it.

Exactly one week later, I'm glad I jumped. I wonder how I would feel today, or later in life, knowing that I let my fear of heights keep my from skydiving. Then it hit me, "am I letting fear keep me from jumping in other areas of my life? Maybe my relationship with Sara could go to a more intimate level if I didn't have such a fear of not being in control. Maybe my law practice would explode if I would just jump in one area or another.

My dad is an amazing guy. I've learned a lot from him over the years. In my wise old age (thirty-one years young) I find myself quoting him a lot. There is a business opportunity available to him and he's afraid to jump. I've been trying to push him out of the plane for about a year now but he's stubborn, afraid to jump, and way bigger than me. I don't want him to to look back on the opportunity and know that he didn't give it a shot because of fear.

I see this "fear" thing coming up in a lot of my friend's decisions. Maybe you're in a relationship that's not going anywhere but you don't want to end it because you haven't been alone in a long time. Or maybe you've got a job opportunity that offers amazing upside but you're a little too comfortable with the company you're at now. Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump!

I can already hear you telling me all the reasons why you shouldn't jump. Let me just say that yes, there are good reasons to stay nice and comfy in your plane. Fear isn't one of them. Being pushed out of a plane wasn't comfortable but it was necessary because I never would have jumped on my own. Facing your fear and deciding to jump wont be easy for you either. Maybe you need someone to push you out of the plane!

Lessons from Skydiving

2009-07-25T13:22:00.009-05:00

I'm not exactly sure how it happened but my good friend Kevin convinced me to go skydiving this week. I'm not afraid of heights. However, I am afraid of plummeting to my death from 10,000 feet in the air. To say I was scared is a profound understatement. I was not at all sure that I would survive the jump which prompted this post.

To be completely honest, I was too scared during the jump to really reflect on what was happening. The feeling of free falling was exhilarating and my thoughts went back and forth between, "Oh my God this is so awesome," and "Oh my God why did I do this." The jump overall was a good experience. With that said, I was probably more terrified then I had ever been in my life just before we jumped. A close runner up to the fear I felt just before we jumped was the fear I felt after free falling for about forty seconds and wondering if the parachute was ever going to open. During the moments just before the parachute opened, I had some of the most sincere prayer time of my entire life.

To make a very long and scary story short, I survived the jump and I'm happy Kevin made me do it. The guys at Skydive San Marcos were really great and made the experience a lot of fun. Since returning safely to the ground, which I have an entirely new appreciation for, I've had a lot of time to reflect on the whole ordeal. Over the next few days I'll be sharing some of the lessons I learned from skydiving. Hope you enjoy.

My Two Year Vacation

2009-07-20T11:08:00.020-05:00

I haven't blogged in almost 2 years. In fact, my last blog post was on a blog I started during law school to keep my family up to date on the day to day miseries of law school. You can find that blog here but I wont be updating that blog anymore. A lot has happened since I ran the Live Oak Lion's Club 5k in 2007. Here's a quick run down of the last two years of my life...

On October 27, 2007 I married Sara Perez who is amazing and keeps my life moving forward.
I got hooked up with Kevin Joyce, pastor of Imagine Fellowship, and had the chance of a lifetime to help plant a very cool church in San Antonio, Texas.
I graduated from St. Mary's University School of Law in May, 2008.
I studied 16 hours a day for two months straight, all the while neglecting my wife and daughter, hoping that I would pass the Texas bar exam on my first attempt.
On November 8, 2008 I was admitted to the Texas State Bar and licensed to practice law in Texas.
On November 19, 2008 I was shocked and heart broken when Max Torres, a mentor and friend, died in a motorcycle accident.
On May 4, 2009 everything changed for my wife and I when Sofia Nicole Perez was born!
On July 28, 2009 I am moving my family and practice to Corpus Christi to be closer to my oldest daughter Kaitlyn.

If I had taken a snapshot of my life then and compared it to a snapshot of my life today, the pictures would be drastically different. Some of the changes were expected, and others took me by surprise. Losing a close friend was a sobering wake up call.

The changes over the last two years remind me that just as the snapshot of my life has changed over time, it will continue to change. I feel challenged to make decisions today that will positively impact the snapshot of my future.

Are there changes you could make today that would improve next year's snapshot? The changes may be minor details or major course corrections. Change is never easy but without it, we are swallowed up in regrets and "what if's."

How has your snapshot changed over the last few years?

What changes do you have in mind as you think about tomorrow's snapshot?