Ramblings of an ACOA

The ACOA Rush of Emotions

2008-12-18T23:08:00.002-05:00

It's amazing to me how the simplest things could cause so much stress, frustration, and sadness...I just don't ever know how to handle this stuff... I feel like I can't trust my thoughts or my feelings...You probably won't take away much from the following, but I just had to get it out of my system (It's faster to type than to write). I figured, too, that maybe it might make you feel better

Choosing Recovery Over Performance

2008-12-07T18:07:00.003-05:00

I'm still so tired from the let-downs and work overload from this past week...Now I face the fears of potential failure for the week that follows...So much work, and definitely not enough time...I figured, "I don't have time to go to my Al-Anon Adult Children meeting tonight; that's two hours out of my evening that I could be trying to finish my project due tomorrow..."But right now I am making

Cracking the Stone of the Past

2008-11-15T09:48:00.005-05:00

I was reading Amy Eden's ACOA blog, and I feel like she wrote a post especially for me regarding frustrations about current situations. Check out the excerpt that follows: Do you often find yourself thinking, "Why does this seem to always happen....?" Do you realize that OF COURSE it always happens? It always happens because your frame of mind hasn't changed although the situation may have

Healthy?

2008-11-11T15:14:00.004-05:00

http://20outof10.blogspot.com/2008/04/i-hate-alcohol.htmlI stumbled upon this post from a registered nurse. While it makes me feel better to have some of my feelings shared by 'an outsider,' it still makes me wonder the best way to feel: come to a point where I can approve alcohol as being "okay" in moderation, or reject it personally and just "accept" that it's out there...?Refer to my post from

"How Important is it?"

2008-11-06T11:50:00.004-05:00

One of Al-Anon's slogans is, "How Important is it?" While I realize it's a tool, like the other slogans, to help aid in detachment from the troubles an alcoholic may cause in one's life, I'm having trouble finding out how to implement this (as well as the other tools) as there is no active alcoholic in my living environment.The idea of this slogan is particularly perplexing to me when used in

"I'm Scared"

2008-10-23T22:43:00.003-04:00

I'm sobbing in my apartment right now and I couldn't have even seen this coming. I was absolutely fine not minutes ago--then all of a sudden I felt like I had to "make" something of the time I finally had to have a conversation with my boyfriend, so of course I tried to talk about what's on my mind--bring him into my world so that maybe he could offer a different vantage point--and of course, my

My First Al-Anon Meeting

2008-10-18T11:23:00.005-04:00

The Serenity PrayerGod, grant me the serenityto accept the things I cannot change,the courage to change the things I can,and the wisdom to know the difference.I heard this prayer a lot growing up. While I thought it was another piece of poetry to simply help me ignore anything in my 'reality' and distract myself with thoughts of 'heaven,' I was always intrigued by it...basically from the

ACOA Characteristic #13

2008-10-15T23:42:00.003-04:00

"This impulsiveness leads to confusion, self-loathing and loss of control over their environment."Frustrated by all of the struggles throughout my undergraduate experience due largely to my alcoholic upbringing, I was excited to graduate and start a new life for myself. I was blessed with the opportunity to take on a graduate program at no cost, live in an apartment by myself, and have no

Torn Emotions

2008-07-02T21:25:00.003-04:00

I miss blogging...At the moment, I'm feeling rather jealous because my boyfriend is out "having pizza" with his soccer team after he said earlier that he wouldn't have time to come visit me. Granted, this is completely acceptable and fine (I'm a decent 30 minute drive from him, anyway), and we did not have plans. But let's be real: I'm upset because I'm sure he's having a few beers.I guess I

There's Always Time...

2008-04-10T00:42:00.003-04:00

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” ~Carl BardThis has always been one of my favorite quotes. It was on the wall in whatever high school I took my ACT College Prep exam. I've never been able to find out who Carl Bard is (then again, I've never really looked very hard...), but his quote always helps me to step out of the

A Letter to Our Lovers

2007-12-02T23:07:00.000-05:00

-Sorry, all. Preparing for the last week of classes and finals has consumed my life for right now. Being that it takes me about 6 hours to write a post, I really should use that time wisely. I will post ASAP (because I'm really excited about the potential of this one!), hopefully no later than this weekend! Please, however, feel free to browse around, comment, or make suggestions.acoaramblings@

Gaining Comfort with Good Relationships

2007-11-25T09:43:00.000-05:00

(If you wish to see this blog's first entry, click here.)Today, I came across the movie, Mona Lisa Smile when mindlessly channel surfing. I remembered being incredibly intrigued by the movie when it first came out, particularly because of the main character's advocation for free thinking and challenging conformity. There was one scene that stuck in my mind the minute I experienced it, and it was

Quit Monkeying Around...

2007-11-18T20:04:00.000-05:00

I am crazy enough to have rationalized that the more alcohol you drink, the more like a monkey you become. I have sometime stated this in other words saying, "you preferring drunkenness tells me you'd rather be a monkey than a human being." My "reasoning" (if you dare call it that) is the subject of this blog post.Last week, one of my friends sent me an email. She is currently studying abroad in

Products are Made; People are Created

2007-11-13T20:36:00.000-05:00

So, I guess when one of the characteristics of ACOAs is having difficulty getting things done, they aren't kidding.I apologize for being late; finding Pacman on Facebook has not done good things for me!Anyway, this past weekend, my two "very best friends" came to visit me for the first time since I moved from home about four and a half years ago. They've known me since kindergarten and second

Sum of Parts?

2007-11-12T08:14:00.000-05:00

~>~> Sorry, I'm tardy! This will be updated later today. Topic: being a product of one's surroundings. Check back tonight or tomorrow!<~<~<~<

Recovery

2007-11-04T15:30:00.000-05:00

From Dictionary.com (one of my favorite sites):Recover: to cover again or anewSimple enough. The word that peaks my interest most is "anew." I realized this is the aspect that relates most to myself as an ACOA.When I hear the word, "recovery," I immediately think of those trying to cope with some sort of addiction. This always frustrated me when learning about ACOAs. I found that, as the

You are not Alone

2007-10-30T23:46:00.000-04:00

It's been about a month since I first learned about blogging more in-depth. Funny how findings from an Internet Marketing class turn into therapeutic practices.Learning about blogging came at the perfect time when that which unknowingly controls my life more than I ever thought decided to step in some more to complicate the best thing going for me.I am an ACOA--Adult Child of an Alcoholic. Two