If you look closely at this picture you will see that 8 out of 26 letters are completely worn off.  I purchased this Gateway laptop in July of 2008.  I also purchased an extended warranty from Office Depot to cover hardware defects and malfunctions for 3 years.

Seems to me the keys are hardware.  And not being able to read the letters on a keyboard that is less than 2 years old could be considered a materials defect.   I have owned many PC’s over 24 years and never had this problem.  So I called Office Depot Extended Warranty Support anticipating getting their help.

They asked me if when I pressed each key it worked.  I said yes.  And then they politely informed me that lettering rubbing off is not a hardware issue, at least not in their interpretation.  Furthermore, they could not help me get the parts. I was on my own.  I called the store where I bought it.  They agreed with me but said there was nothing they could do.  I tried calling Gateway, but as soon as they determined my computer was over a year old I reached an abrupt dead end.  Their website redirected me to a reseller.  Needless to say tracking down and ordering what I needed took time.  I was annoyed.  The money is not the issue – $5.99 a key is merely irritating.  For me the real failure is a breakdown in our agreement.  I called for help I thought I paid for and didn’t get it.

Who is right?  Me of course…in my own mind anyway!

They can give me all the logic in the world to justify their interpretation of hardware defect and malfunction as it applies to keyboards.  I don’t agree, but that is certainly their choice to make.  In the process it seems they have lost sight of one very important thing: our relationship.  This is my second Gateway laptop and I shop at Office Depot weekly.

Gateway and Microsoft have also done their share of pointing fingers at each other when it comes to problems with this particular PC.  They are both very right about what is not their responsibility.  My dissatisfaction has been building so while my keyboard problem may seem trivial to some, for me it is my “last straw”.

You could say we are both being right here.  And it seems to me we both lose. My choice when it is time for a new computer is now clear: I will buy a Mac.  It will cost me more and I will have to go through the pain of changing something I have not wanted to change.  The companies involved may have lost a customer forever.

What does this have to do with leadership?

Everything we do and say has some element of interpretation involved.  When things break down we can easily get caught in the minutia trying to prove our interpretations as “the truth”.  We can create all kinds of rules to protect ourselves and our companies from being taken advantage of.  We can rant and rave about just how wrong “they” are.  But at what cost?

I am not a fan of the philosophy “the customer is always right” either.  Far too often that philosophy results in relationships that are neither satisfying nor sustainable.  I respect the need for everyone to develop and use their power of interpretation to set boundaries that serve their needs and commitments even if I don’t like it or agree with it.  I have been told no many times and been perfectly fine with it.

It’s all about relationship.

When we are focused on our relationships we can much more easily easily see the moments when we get to choose: will we stick to our guns and justify how right we are OR will we be willing to step out of our point of view to see the other side so we can perhaps find a mutually satisfying outcome.

We don’t even have to give up our point of view to be able to listen to, comprehend and consider another completely different perspective.  Worst case we learn something.  And being truly listened too is a gift in and of itself.  Yet still, being right can be very compelling.  Don’t we just love hearing the words “you were right”?

But beware:  being right can quickly devolve into righteousness.  And righteousness makes us vulnerable, especially as a leader.  Why?   Because the moment we become righteous we stop listening.  And when we can’t hear we miss things – important things.

What can make matters worse is that it can be hard to observe our own righteousness.  Being right feels good. It feels, well, “right”.  Then there are all those people who will jump on the bandwagon and reinforce just how right we are.

Don’t be fooled.  Agreement does not equate to proving something is true.  It may validate us.  It may be useful in justifying our actions.   But it is a poor substitute for listening to support critical thinking and mindful action.

In the end “Who is right?” is more often than not an irrelevant question. When being right becomes the prize chances are we have a blind spot.  Unless we remain mindful of our goals and intentions we may never realize just how much that blind spot is costing us.

What do you think?  Does righteousness make a leader vulnerable in your opinion? What do you think could be the cost of righteousness to a leader?

I’ll give one answer to the question of what could be the cost to start the ball rolling… Just as I felt powerless when trying to stand up to these big companies about my problems with their products, the people we lead may also feel powerless  to address the problems that affect their effectiveness.

I look forward to hearing what you have to say!

In an excellent post titled “Listen Like a Leader”, Randy Hall shares a great story illuminating a trap that people in leadership positions can easily fall into: focusing on ensuring their people get to know them rather than focusing on getting to know their people.  He also points to what I will call a corollary to this which is: “focus[ing] solely on the message they want to deliver, with no regard to what they need to learn.”

The bottom line:  effective leaders listen.  Randy does a great job of expressing the particular ways effective leaders listen.  There is gold there  so I encourage you to read his post.

What I want to talk about here is another powerful tool in a leaders arsenal that involves listening:  setting up how others are listened to.

I was reminded of this Friday morning when delivering a keynote address at a Women’s Business Conference. There is no doubt I was set up to win beginning with a fabulous agenda, great promotion and some high profile speakers from our local area.  Then there was the wonderful introduction from Dr. Mary Locke.  And last but not least were a group of business women who chose to be there.  It was of course all staged to ensure the event was a success.

The combination of a clear purpose for the day, a well planned agenda, an excellent facility, and a committed team of exceptional people running the event set the stage for everyone there to both expect and be part of creating an exceptional day.  That is of course a great place to start.  Yet the conference planners, Donna Rivett and Jan Pagano, did something else that is key: they did a great job of setting up every one of the speakers.

People were listening for us to be great.  I can honestly say that is how it felt for me personally.  I stepped in front of a group of women and felt like they truly wanted to hear what I had to say.  Despite my usual butterflies whenever I speak, the moment I stepped to the podium I was connected and at ease.  That is the power of how people listen to us.

Which brings me to the key point Randy’s post triggered for me: 

How we are set up can make all the difference in how we show up.

As leaders and managers we can actually support the people who follow us, work for us, and work with us by setting the context for how people listen to them.  It doesn’t have to take a lot of time in either preparation or delivery.  Yet the payoff can be huge for everyone involved.

Every time we ask someone to step up and take the lead in some way, whether that is to lead a  project or simply a conversation, we have an opportunity to set them up to win by setting the context for how people listen to them.

This is true even if we think everyone knows them already.  In fact this is one way we can also support people in getting out of the proverbial box they may be stuck in based on who they have been.  And if we truly want to foster leadership in others we must get very good at setting people up, not based on who they have been, but rather based on who they are committed to becoming.

Here are some quick questions you can use to help you set anyone up to win. It could be a meeting with a group or a conversation with just one other person.  It could be a formal presentation or a weekly status meeting.  The point is you can use these questions to help you set up anyone to win in any interaction.

5 Questions for Setting People Up to Win

1.  What is the intended outcome of this particular project, meeting,  interaction, event, etc. and in what way is this particular individual important to that outcome?

2.  What have you asked them to provide and/or why did you choose them to take the lead on this?

3.  What can you highlight about this persons skills, knowledge, abilities, kind of person, etc. that would help establish their credibility to this particular group or individual?

4.  What is something about this person that others in the room may not know that could increase their stature with the group?

5.  What do you most appreciate about this person?  Is there something recent you can authentically and meaningfully acknowledge them for?

Consider what might be possible if we put the same thought and effort into how we were going to “introduce” (i.e. set up) someone in the regular course of business as we do when we are preparing for a big event.  What if we took every opportunity to set people up in a way that helped them transform their identity so they gain confidence and have some room to grow?  What might happen for us as leaders in the process?

Of course there are many ways to set people up to win.  I believe this can be one of the simplest and most effective.  What do you think?

On 6/10/01 I wrote the poem below in memory of one of our children, Walter Contreras Valenzuela, Morristown, NJ.  He was a young boy who was murdered in my town.  I put a link in my last post “What Stands Are You Taking?” to this poem for those interested in reading it.  The morning after I posted it I was watching the news in horror as I saw the story of a young girl from FL named Somer Thompson whose body was found in a land fill.  For me it was a chilling coincidence.

Lisa Cohen, a journalist who spent the last 20 years researching a missing child named Etan Pates, wrote an excellent article titled “A Plea for Somers Family and Some Shared Humanity“.  She passes along some of what she learned from her research.  She also talks about the very human, yet extraordinarily damaging, tendency to blame the victim and, in cases like these, the parents for not protecting their child.

While that may be a defense mechanism I think it also points to a belief that somehow makes all of our children less safe.  The right to raise our children the way we see fit seems to have devolved into a belief that parents are solely responsible for the welfare of their own children.

Tragedies of this kind have a way of reminding us that the safety of all of our children is up to all of us.

I share this poem as a separate post in memory of Somer, Walter, Etan and any child who has been harmed.

What will it take for us to remember each and every day…

Every Child is Our Child

It is often when a life ends

That we pause to remind ourselves

Just how miraculous and precious life is.

And when it is a child that breathes his last breath,

We incur a wound that is beyond repair

In our hearts, in our souls and in our world.

For it is our children that bind us together in the fabric of life.

It is our children who remind us of our innocence, our dreams

and of all that is good within us as human beings.

For in their tiny hands and hearts

We place the hopes for our future.

And when any one of us forgets that every child matters,

When any child is forgotten or harmed,

We cause the fabric of life to weaken.

For every child is our child,

We must treasure each one,

As if they were born unto us.

For the future will spring from their hopes and their fears,

And the dreams that they someday make real.

I don’t know how to invent a world

In which every child is truly our child.

But I do know our very life depends on it.

We must find a way together.

For in the eyes of our children our differences make no difference,

Until one day they forget.

When will we teach them to not forget?

Or perhaps when will we remember?

Every child is our child.

A few months ago Colin Lewis took a stand for a group of disadvantaged children in his community.  He has been investing his time as well as donating the proceeds from subscriptions to his Wisdom Notes to the orphanages supported by the Chiva Foundation.   As a subscriber I can say they are truly remarkable and highly recommend them to my readers.

Through his words and deeds Colin provides us with a great demonstration of one of the fundamental Acts of Leadership:  Taking a Stand.

He has woven his own personal experience, resources and capabilities into a way to make a difference in something he cares deeply about.  We all have the opportunity to take stands based on our own personal experiences, resources, capabilities and commitments.  It can be in our families, our communities and/or our places of work.  Our stands can be of “ending world hunger” proportion or impact only a small few.  Bigger is not better.  It all matters.  The place to start is with what matters to you now.

Why take a stand?

Because while we can make a difference by going quietly about it in our day to day actions, the moment we take a stand we invite others who share that commitment to join us.   Perhaps that is one access of transforming an act of kindness into an act of leadership.

The moment we share a stand, our heartfelt commitment to a possibility, with others is the moment we can begin the conversation of how to make that possibility real.  It can be scary.  After all we have to be willing to stand out to stand up for something.  Yet if our stand comes from our heart, chances are it is in the hearts of others, too.

In following Colin’s quest to support the Chiva Foundation I was reminded of something I wrote in 2001 in response to an event that tore at the heartstrings of everyone in my community.  The title is “Every Child is Our Child”.  Click here if you wish to read it.  Thank you Colin for reminding us that every child truly does matter.  That is a stand each and every one of us can take.  Even if we only impact the life of one child, it makes a difference.

So what do you care about that is worth taking a stand for now?  What stand(s) have you already taken? Colin provided us with a great example.  I am sure you all have many more.  And by sharing them here you never know who might be ready to follow your lead and join you.

Grey's Anatomy http://abc.go.com/shows/greys-anatomy/photos/i-always-feel-like/305158

No matter how positive we may be or how much we try to think positive, let’s face it, sometimes we worry. I noticed myself drifting in and out of worry and doubt last week so I watched some TV for distraction. I tuned into Grey’s Anatomy. I guess I find other people’s drama to be far more entertaining than my own! Anyway, you may have heard the saying “when the student is ready the teacher will appear”. Who would have thought my teacher in that moment would be a TV Drama? Sometimes wisdom comes in strange packages indeed.

So here’s the scene…Seatle Grace hospital has just announced their first round of layoffs. The episode shows people’s reaction. You witness snippets of People experiencing the various stages of loss and the fear in those left regarding the fate of their future. When will the next layoff be? Will it be me? Will it be my friends? How can I protect myself?

A few of the more seasoned doctors take their spouses/girlfriends, younger doctors who are reeling from watching their colleagues get fired and battling their own fears about their future, to the ball field at night. And in that last scene, believe it or not, they dispense what I think is some brilliant advice.

The first line in the clip…”So walk your dog or take a nap. Whatever you do stop worrying.” made me think of a fabulous post by Sarah Robinson titled “Failing Sucks”. She talks about this concept of “walking the grid” to nurture yourself back from a failure. I think the same strategy can be very effective when it comes to our worry and doubt. It is definitely worth a read whether you have recently failed or find you are worrying a lot or doubting yourself in this moment.

The scene begins…

Christina, the most arrogant of the bunch, is particularly freaked out. They force a bat into her hand and while she is resisting they simply hurl a fast ball at her. It shakes her up. And the advice she is given by a former combat surgeon is this: “You need to stop thinking about what is going to happen. You need to focus on what is right in front of you. Now hit that ball…”

And hit it she does, much to her surprise. In an instant she is there, totally present in that moment, celebrating her small accomplishment. Her fear has been replaced almost instantaneously by elation and laughter.

That is the magic of focusing on now.

Click Here if you would like to watch the scene.

This brief scene reminded me that the antidote for worry and doubt consists of two things: focus and faith.

FOCUS ON NOW…

Focus on what you can do NOW.

Focus on what you do have control over NOW.

Focus on the things you can do that bring you joy and inspiration NOW.

Focus on every little success you have no matter how small and celebrate it NOW.

CHOOSE TO HAVE FAITH…

Faith in yourself and your strengths.

Faith in the future.

Faith in whatever higher power you believe in.

Faith in the people that love and support you.

I’ll close with the final words of the scene…

“Because the only cure for paranoia is to be here. Just as you are.”

What are your best strategies for dealing with worry and doubt?

Following is an excerpt from my father, Jim Ernst’s, memoirs. I am sharing it here because in his story lies a wonderful demonstration of the power of our beliefs.

“We didn’t have much food in the house. We lived in a one family house in Baldwin, NY on Long Island. I was born during the depression, and there wasn’t much call for house painters, which happened to be my father’s line of work. He drank most of what little he was able to make when he did get some work. Very little remained and was available for food. There were many nights when I remember going to bed hungry.

I think I was about 5 at the time. We had just moved into a six family house in Brooklyn, NY. My grandmother owned it and the rent was only $5 a month because my Momma was the janitor. I heard my folks talking about the fact that we had lost the house in Long Island due to foreclosure. An auction followed. I only found out much later what those words meant.

I began roaming around my new neighborhood, which was lined on both sides of the street with attached three or four floor tenement buildings. One day I heard some people talking about something called “Relief”. That happens to be what they called Welfare back then. I quickly ran home to my mother to tell her about it.

“Just think, Momma, if we applied we could get money for food, and even for rent.”

My Momma sat me on her lap and quietly explained to me that “relief” was for the poor people. I grew up in that railroad style cold water flat thinking I was not poor. To this day, I believe it was the truth as she saw it from her point of view. She was a very proud woman.

So while we didn’t get relief we got a hard working Momma instead. She went out late in the evening to clean office buildings to get enough money to put food in our mouths. That was my Momma.”

My dad went on to create a financially secure life for himself and his family. So did his sister. And so did his 3 cousins who lived upstairs from them. I don’t know the specific statistics for their neighborhood, but I am willing to bet they beat the odds. I also believe it is no accident that these five particular individuals changed their circumstances.

In talking with all of them through the years they share at least two beliefs in common: the belief that they are not poor and the belief that they are 100% responsible for their own lives.

My grandmother’s circumstances took a very unfortunate turn. Yet she stayed true to her beliefs and her own standards for integrity and dignity. Perhaps she could have accepted relief and made all of their lives easier at that time. She certainly did not begrudge others from accepting the help.

Instead it seems she gave them a greater gift – the gift of believing they were not poor so that some day they would no longer have to be.

As leaders our beliefs have the power to shape the worldview of the people who are following us. What beliefs are you leading with?

Take a look at the photo below and ask yourself, what is the purpose of the dock? I was at a friends house the other day for the first time in daylight. Looking out from their kitchen window this is what I saw. The thought that instantly flashed in my head was, why the heck would anyone build what looked to me like a bridge that goes nowhere?

So I asked about it. Turns out it is a dock and it actually does go somewhere even though it looked to me like a pathway that dead ends. It is actually a floating dock that enables you to walk across the marsh and a small stream to get to a trail on solid ground. That trail leads you to the beautiful Indian River Lagoon. You can’t see the Lagoon from their house because the vegetation is too high. And you couldn’t get directly to the water from their backyard because of the wetland. Now they can walk to the lagoon directly from their back yard.

Sometimes we look at what someone else did and think, what the heck were they thinking? We spout assessments like “what kind of idiot would ____________?” And we are absolutely right, in our own minds anyway, based on what we can see.

But what about what we can’t see? And what about all the things we have not even thought to consider that someone else might have?

There are often things we can’t see or understand unless we actually ask. For instance, that at the edge of that dock is a trail to the lagoon. Just because I can’t see it does not mean it is not there. And just because I don’t understand something does not mean it makes no sense.

I hear a lot of people say “management or leadership doesn’t have a clue”. Yet when you are thinking that or something like it I challenge you to consider whether you actually made a sincere attempt to find out what the parties involved were actually thinking. And if you think you have done that already, did you truly approach the conversation with an open mind or were you listening for evidence of your already formed conclusions?

It is human nature to at times make snap judgments. I certainly do sometimes. Yet even after we have made a snap judgment we can still make a choice about what to do with it. The bottom line is we can approach other people’s choices or point of view with curiosity or we can approach them with judgment and already formed conclusions. One will open possibility while the other is a sure way to shut it down. And when what we really want is progress curiosity is a much more productive choice.

It is also human nature to want to be listened to and heard. Employees expect their bosses to listen to them and to listen for the best in them. We expect leaders in our community, especially our elected officials, to do the same even if we did not personally vote for or appoint them.

Yet do we return the favor? Do we listen to them the way we want to be listened to? And do we speak about them when they are not around the way we would want them to speak about us?

Sometimes people make mistakes and they do stupid things. Sometimes they rise to their own level of incompetence. But I also think it is way too easy to make judgments that just aren’t grounded in anything other than our opinion and the limits of our own perceptions.

And rather than challenge the merits of our own and each others thinking, how often do we unwittingly jump on the bandwagon? Agreement from others does not make our beliefs any more true even though we often use it as evidence for truth. And when we let agreement fuel our righteousness we stop possibility in it’s tracks. If you want a live example of this consider the U.S. Heath Care reform debate. This phenomena is happening on both sides of the isle.

We talk a lot about what our leaders or managers can and should do for us. We talk about needing more and better leaders now more than ever. If that is what we really want I think we need to invest a little more of our attention on what we can do to support the people already in positions we refer to as management and/or leadership.

Maybe it is time to give the “boss” and/or our leaders a break. This is not about taking anyone off the hook for bad judgment, poor decisions or incompetence as a manager or a leader. I am not suggesting blindly following without challenging what does not make sense to you.

What I am talking about is sharing the responsibility for empowering leadership where we work and live. It is about empowering and respecting the people who are courageous enough to be accountable for someone and something other than themselves.

Leadership is not about us. However, I believe if we want leadership to flourish it is up to each and every one of us, both when we are leading and when we are following. What do you think?

“Do something wonderful, people may immitate it.” — Albert Schweizer

I don’t think people give themselves enough credit for their leadership, both their capacity to lead as well as the leadership they do display in the course of everyday work and life. While delivering a Leadership Development workshop to a group of teachers I encountered a first hand example of one reason for this.

We started with an assessment tool – a simple questionaire. Yet almost all of them struggled to fill it out. When we talked about why it was so hard it became clear: they did not see themselves as leaders. Many did not even want to be seen as a leader.

The real irony here is that they call themselves and are known as “The Leadership Team” in their school. Many have been on this team for more than 3 years. When they started they were all excited about developing themselves as leaders. They have done some great things in their school and have demonstrated tremendous leadership. But now they were resisting the very notion that they were leaders. Seems crazy doesn’t it?

I think it points to the power of a myth. The particular myth they confront at their school is that if you want to lead you are only really interested in getting ahead. While leadership is mostly spoken about in a virtuous context, this example reminds us that leadership in organizations is not always perceived as a virtue.

In our conversation it became abundantly clear that their school culture frowns upon standing out and wanting to get ahead. If you say you want to be a leader people assume you want to be a principal some day. In that culture some frown on ambition that is not directed at teaching itself. Most of these teachers just want to be great teachers. They care about their craft and they really care about their kids. They joined this team to make a difference in their school. And they have. They do want to be appreciated for their contribution, just don’t call them leaders.

This is only one example of how an individual belief, especially when it becomes a cultural belief in an organization, can inhibit leadership. We each have many tightly held beliefs about leadership. Some of these beliefs foster leadership in ourselves and others. Yet consider that some of our beliefs, both individual and organizational, are actually myths that can inhibit leadership in ourselves and in others. Sometimes they inhibit us unconsciously. Other times they are the reasons we and others use for why we do not speak up, step up and stand up.

What are your beliefs about leadership? Are any of them getting in the way of your ability to lead effectively or even your willingness to speak up, step up or stand up for the things that matter to you? What about the people whose leadership you support? Do they have beliefs that could be getting in their way?

“Let me dive into the water. Leave behind all that I’ve worked for. Except what I remember and believe. And when I stand on the farthest shore I will have all I need.” – David Wilcox

When you envision your success what do you include?

If you are like most people you include things like how much money you will make or have, your dream home, perhaps that amazing car, or the things you want to be able to provide for your family.

For those who are philanthropically minded you may include how much you will give or something you will contribute to make a difference in the world.

If you are career minded you may include that big promotion, your ideal job, your dream business or perhaps attaining a PhD. I have included many of these things on my list. Some of them are still on that list.

All of those things are valid ways to define success. Except perhaps something is missing.

I don’t know if it’s that I am in my forties and I am experiencing some sort of mid-life awakening. Or perhaps it is because I have heard countless stories of people losing so much of what they have worked for their whole life in such a seemingly short period of time. Maybe it is because I have coached so many people recently who are questioning whether their definition of success was really theirs to begin with.

Whatever the reason I have been in an inquiry about defining success for myself and with my clients.

I listened to the song whose lyrics I quoted above and was reminded of an encounter with a friend over 15 years ago. My friend came to visit me for the weekend. We had not seen each other for a few years. When he got to my house he shared that everything he owned was in his car at that moment. I was really surprised because since college he seemed to be on quite a fast track to success. Turns out he invested everything in his brother’s business and lost it all.

Yet the the most interesting thing he shared was that he had never felt so free. He was clear that he would build back what he had lost and then some. He certainly wasn’t heading to a remote island somewhere to drown his sorrows. In fact he was more motivated than ever to succeed.

But he said that he learned something invaluable. He now knew what he wanted success to feel like – the kind of internal life he wanted to experience each and every day. He believed that one aha would have a more profound impact on the rest of his life than anything else he learned.

It certainly impacted me. For me it brought to the forefront three things that were not previously on my list – my desire for freedom and choice, the opportunity to express my creativity and to make a difference in the lives of others. Those are my experiential guideposts for success. And they have guided me in every decision I have made since, especially the one to venture out on my own despite how scary it seemed at the time. I am so grateful to be living the life that I do now including doing the work that I do even when things are hard because I get to experience those three things just about every day.

Success is an inner game. Consider that it is not a place to get to or a thing to acquire, but rather an experience of being satisfied with the life you have. It does not live in the things like the house,the car, the position, or the degree. It does not come from the assessments of others like a performance appraisal or the self assessments we make when we compare ourselves to others. It lives in our experience each and every day.

Perhaps if we begin to look to our experience as a dimension to our success we can discover a much clearer pathway to making the day to day choices that put us on the path living the life of our dreams.

So how do you define success?

What does success look like to you? What does it feel like?

Maybe you don’t have to wait. Perhaps you can even start feeling success right now.

What will you do today that is worth exchanging a day of your life for?  I was reminded of this question when I came across these words recently.

Essence of  a New Day:  This is the beginning of a new day.  You have been given this day to use as you will.  You can waste it or use it for good.  What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.  When tomorrow comes this day will be gone forever.  In its place is something that you will have left behind.  Let it be something good. — Successories

What if we actually lived our lives with the intention of making every day be worth the investment that it truly is?  What would be possible for us, for our communities, for our companies?  If you do this already, then good for you.  But most of us don’t.

We spend our time, we use our time, but we don’t usually relate to our time as an investment of our life.  I believe if we did, we would be leading – speaking up, stepping up and standing up – a lot more often.

Do you want to set yourself up to be extraordinary in your everyday actions?  Do you want to see more opportunities to lead and actually feel compelled to take new and bolder actions?

Then you must be consciously thinking from a context that inspires you to act beyond the ordinary.

It is far too easy to get caught up in the activity of our never ending to do lists.  And when that happens we don’t even see the opportunities to lead let alone take them.  If this context doesn’t empower you to shake up your business as usual day then create one that does.

If you want truly to develop and expand your leadership capability you need a guide for your actions.  The form isn’t important.  It could be a personal mission statement, a company vision, an intention, a mantra, your personal values, a daily motivational calendar, or even that great quote you saw on the wall in your friend’s house!

It doesn’t have to be complicated or take a lot of time to create.  If you find something that works for you feel free to use it.  If you are concerned about originality, know that you will bring your own unique expression to whatever someone else created so if something calls to you I say use it.  It can also change over time, even daily.

Whatever words you choose, they are an essential compass if you truly want to change your thinking and actions.

If you already have a context, whether you created it yourself, or adopted it, there are two questions to ask yourself:

1.  Are you using it? You may have one, but is it actually supporting you in stretching yourself beyond where you usually go?

I have had the “The Essence of a New Day” plastered on my wall for so long I forgot it was there.  One day I was feeling particularly ungrounded and it caught my attention for the first time in a while.  I don’t feel the need to create or find a new context right now – this is actually very compelling for me.  Yet I did need to bring it back into my consciousness because if I am not present to it how can I think and act from it?

2.  Is whatever you are basing your leadership on motivating you to push the envelope on the difference you can make? Or is has what was once a bold, inspiring, and heartfelt aspiration faded into the oblivion of your busy life?  If you are not taking actions that fall outside of what you would normally do then consider the answer to this question is no and you have some work to do.

Some of you may be thinking that I am just talking about vision here.  A vision is only one form of a context.  I happen to think vision has been misused when it comes to leadership.  Why do I say that?  Because I see far too many visions statements become meaningless words on a wall.  And I see far too many people get hung up on whether they have a worthy enough or bold enough vision.  (If you’d like to hear more about that read Don’t Let Vision Get in the Way.

So have you set yourself up to be extraordinary? 

What is your context?  How do you keep it in existence?  I would love to hear the thoughts and ideas that you use to to inspire and motivate you to step beyond the ordinary.