A couple of years ago, I realized that, in general:

• We have so much food that we suffer not from hunger but obesity.
• We’re so inactive in our day jobs that we run for fitness, not necessity.
• We *pay* to run 3.1 miles or more at races.
• At these races, we have so much clean water that we put out large tables of it and encourage people to drink it and/or throw it on themselves, then dump the leftovers into the street.

This is part of the reason that I don’t race very often anymore: I can run around my neighborhood without being charged, without fighting for parking, and without running shoulder-to-shoulder with thousands of people I’ve never met (I hold nothing against people who do race, please understand; in fact, I still volunteer at races at least twice a year. I think it’s great that people get out there and I enjoy cheering them on).

REALIZATION #1: I can run on my own for free.

The author of my new favorite financial/lifestyle blog, Mr. Money Mustache advocates living simply so you can retire early and live a more fulfilling life. MMM has a car, but rarely uses it, choosing to bike or walk. At first, I dismissed that idea, because obviously I need a car. But do I really need to drive *everywhere*? In the past few months, I’ve stopped automatically reaching for my car keys and instead have been walking to places under 5 miles away (including the grocery store, the movie theatre, and even to see a play). Check me out, saving wear and tear on my car.

REALIZATION #2: I don’t need to drive all the time.

This brings us to this morning: my plan was to run 5 miles, then drive to the store. That’s when I had my final epiphany: instead of walking places just to cut down on using the car and separately, running just for the sake of working out, I could combine the two and run to the store. I’d save gas and get off my ass, all in one fell swoop. So I did. Yes, it was a bit warm, but I felt great by the time I got home.

REALIZATION #3: I can organically incorporate exercise into my weekly routine by not driving all the time.

I’m not saying this approach will work for everyone. I’m not saying you should feel guilty if you don’t walk regularly or do drive frequently. But MMM inspired me, and I thought the least I could do was pay it forward…

Did you see Sunday’s Sentinel article on OUC’s upcoming “solar garden”? Knowing that some people don’t have the funds or proper layout to install solar panels on their home, OUC will build a solar farm from which customers can buy power, as opposed to the electric grid. Pretty neat, especially considering we’re one of those people; we’d love solar, but our HOA won’t allow us to install the panels (to be fair, we’re in a small condo community, so I’m not sure it would be possible for just us to do it).

Yesterday I received the official invite to join the program:

It was beautifully simple. I just pulled up a a few old bills to determine our average monthly usage, used their online calculator to determine how many solar blocks that translates into, determined what extra cost I was willing to pay per month, and voila, I’m now the proud lessee of 4 blocks of solar!

(At the peak of our usage–August–we use around 750 kWh/month. At the  valley–January or February this year, thanks to a ridiculously mild winter–we used just under 500 kWh. Four blocks would roughly come out to be 448 kWh and would cost us an extra $13/month, since we’re paying just under $.11/kWh now and the solar power energy will be $.13. Humorously, though I always knew we use less electricity than an average household, I didn’t realize our usage would be so small that the calculator doesn’t even go that low: it starts at 800 kWh!)

So far I’m loving the idea:

• Though there’s an upfront charge of $50, if you’re part of the program for two full years, they’ll refund that deposit. If you move to another area where you can use OUC, you can stay with the program (it moves with you). If you move to an area that OUC doesn’t service, they’ll refund your deposit.
• Though the solar rate is higher per kilowatt hour than regular electricity now (but not so expensive that it’s prohibitive), rates are sure to go up over time. And the solar cost is locked in…for $25 years!
• Hey, reader K: even apartment dwellers can participate (something I didn’t realize when I taunted her with the story yesterday).
• A full list of Frequently Asked Questions is here.

The solar farm is expected to be up and running by October (assuming their participation rate is high enough). If I’m reading it correctly, because I’m an “inaugural subscriber,” I’ll be invited to the ribbon cutting ceremony of the facility, so if the stars align and I can attend, RH will publish some photos of the event.

What do you think of this program? Does it feel like the future has finally arrived, even without hover cars and jetpacks? Are there any cons that I’m missing in my excitement, enthusiasm and eagerness??

I’ve gotten pretty lax in the snapshot department, making me especially glad that I created the Use Your Imagination category. Photos not necessary! Here’s a couple of things we’ve been up to lately.

Eat Out

1. Hotto Potto: Although the concept has been around for literally 1,000 years, I had never experienced it nor really knew what it was. Basically, it’s Melting Pot with an Asian twist. They give you a card to fill out what items you would like (we chose pork dumplings, scallions, noodles, and mushrooms in a mild broth), they bring out the raw ingredients, and you cook it tableside. Easy peasy.

• The takeaway:  Because the cooking pots come split in half, everyone can get what they want. You want hot and she wants mild? You’re a meatlover and he’s a meat free-er? No problem. There’s also a huge selection of freshly made sauces. My only caveat is that service isn’t always consistent. I went once and everything went swimmingly; the next time, the server didn’t bother explaining to us what the sauces were or how to work the menu. Oh, and be careful not to over-order: we got one total (not one each) of the items above and it was more than enough for two of us. 
• Location: 3090 Aloma Ave. Ste 150, Winter Park, FL 32792 (in the Denny’s plaza on the corner of Aloma and SR 436). 
• Hours: Sundays noon to midnight; Mondays through Thursdays noon to 2a; and Fridays/Saturdays noon to 5a. I have no idea why some of their hours are so very late, but maybe it’s a good place to stop after hitting the bars??
• Menu: The full menu can be found here. Scroll past the lunch specials to get to the choose-your-own section. Yes, they have exotic delights like beef stomach, duck feet and fuzzy squash (?).

2. Deja Vue Creperie: I’m a sucker for crepes. I like them savory, I like them sweet, I just plain like ‘em. So when I saw a deal (not an affiliate link; note that it’s 2 vouchers, not 1) for this new place in the Winter Park Village, I had to try it.

• The takeaway: My feelings are mixed. The portions are plentiful and the dessert crepe was quite tasty. I was underwhelmed with the savory crepe, and taken aback that once we each ordered a crepe and a coffee, the bill was around $25. That feels expensive. It didn’t help that the ladies behind the counter were…they weren’t unfriendly exactly, but they certainly weren’t warm. Neither offered to expound on the menu (even though we clearly needed some direction and were the only ones in the place), they just went about their business without eye contact, etc. Hate to say it, but I don’t think they’ll last very long.
• Location: 480 North Orlando Avenue, Suite 126, Winter Park, Florida 32789
• Hours: Mondays through Thursdays 10a to 10p; Fridays/Saturdays 10a to 11p; and Sundays 11a to 6p.
• Menu: The full menu can be found here. There are also seasonal specials that are not listed, which is how I ended up with a S’mores Crepe (nutella, mini marshmallows and crushed graham crackers…SO GOOD).

Eat In

I recently made Rachael Ray’s 10-Shallot Spaghetti (with some modifications, outlined below), which was so tasty and simple that I had to share. Vegetarians, just leave out the tuna.

Ingredients (serves 4, or 2 with lots of leftovers!)

• olive oil and butter
• 6 shallots, chopped
• 1 8-oz. container of baby bella mushrooms, chopped to the relative same size as the shallots
• smoky paprika and garlic powder, to taste
• 1 pouch of Starkist hickory-smoked tuna
• I had some specialty flavored pasta on hand (Garlic Linguini with Herbs) but any pound of pasta will do
• grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

• Melt some butter and olive oil in a pan over medium heat. Saute the shallots and mushrooms until tender.
• At the same time, cook the pasta. Just before you drain it, reserve a cupful of the starchy water.
• Add spices (I used paprika and garlic) and the tuna to the shallots and mushrooms. Add the starchy water a bit at a time until the sauce reaches your desired consistency. If it gets too “wet,” add some Parmesan cheese to thicken it back up.
• Toss the sauce with the pasta. We added some Parmesan cheese at the end as well.

Do you have any recommendations, whether to eat out or eat in?

Let’s assume I won’t run a marathon again (a wise assumption). There are a few things I’d like to remember about my experience that I didn’t properly record in my first post, so thought I’d recount them here. To give you fair warning, this may not be the most entertaining post for you (since I’m really writing it for my future self), so feel free to skip it. My feelings won’t be hurt; these are literally 10 random ruminations.

1. Perception is a funny thing. When talking to my running buddies, I get the impression everyone has finished a marathon–at least one! When I talk to my non-running buddies, I get the impression that only crazy people run marathons. While that last bit may be true, I’ve found a statistic that says 1/2 of 1% of the American population have run 26.2 miles, and in 2011 (the latest year data was available), (only?) 551,811 people did so.

2. Weight isn’t important. A friend told me that when he trained for his first marathon, the weight “just came off.” That didn’t exactly happen for me (much to my disappointment). I gained 4 pounds on our October 7-day Disney cruise and it took me a few weeks to realize that this was when I started ramping up my mileage, so the weight was from muscle mass, not necessarily from eating voraciously (well, it wasn’t *all* from eating that way). I remember sharing the epiphany with my friend: “Maybe training for a marathon isn’t the best time to be trying to lose weight!” She was pleased that I came to the revelation but likely concerned it took me so long to get there…

3. Nutrition is. In case I should need to remember what I consumed later, here was my plan: a peanut butter granola bar for breakfast, two handfuls of raisins on even miles and every fifth mile, 3 energy chews (Orange Blossom flavor and Honey Stinger brand, organic with no caffeine) and a couple of swallows of Fruit Punch Gatorade.  Because it was so hot, I also supplemented with some swigs of water from the water stops, but tried not to overdo it because I didn’t want to have to stop to use the restroom.

4. Images lie. In my last post, I pictured my posing-for-the-camera face that was taken probably 20 or 30 minutes after I finished. This photo was taken by Hubby as soon as we caught sight of each other after the finish line, so probably only 5 minutes after the race. For those of you not familiar with my facial nuances, I will tell you that it’s equal parts relief of seeing familiar faces, me trying valiantly not to cry, pain, and what passed for a smile at the moment.

5. Like my shirt? Two complete strangers complimented my Sesame Street’s The Count jersey. My dad bought it for me. 

6. Salt crystals are real. We all have a vague idea that sweat is salty, right? But did you know that if you sweat a lot, your skin can actually become covered in a thin layer of salt? This happened to me at the end of my run! And I’m SUPER bummed I didn’t have the presence of mind to photograph it. It was pretty badass, I’m not going to lie.

7. Recover smart. Thanks to extra strength Tylenol, two post-race epsom salt baths and a massage the day after, my recovery wasn’t that bad. Monday was pretty bad and when I went back to work on Tuesday, I was still hobbling a little bit, but by Wednesday I was pretty much back to normal. And this morning I had my very first, “You know, if the weather was nicer I bet I could totally beat my time” thought. No, I don’t think I’ll ever do it again. But I’ve heard marathons are similar to childbirth: they’re painful in the moment but after a time, you start to forget how bad they were…

8. Things I didn’t do: train past 20 miles, get a medical deferral (I was entitled to one but wanted to get it out of the way), lose any toenails (yes, this is a danger; two of mine turned black but that was the end of it), stop to use a port-a-potty, take any pictures along the route, think that I wouldn’t finish.

9. Things I regret: that it was so hot/humid (outside of my control), walking the last two miles (I did not “dig deep” as I hear athletes are apt to do; I just gave up).

10. I inspire people…including me. I went from first hospital visit (July 2012, for lung issues even) to first marathon (January 2013) in under 6 months. I’ve had people say that I’m an inspiration, and you know what? I am. To myself. If ever I come across something daunting, I can look back at this experience and be like, “I’ve got this. If I can run a marathon, I can do ANYTHING.” As my dad used to say, “Damn, I’m good!”

The takeaway: I ran a marathon. That’s pretty cool.

I’ve never been one for running long distances. I run so I can eat what I want, not for medals. True, I’ve done a half marathon, but I never expected to run 26.2. But in May 2012, I took the plunge and signed up for the 2013 Disney marathon. It seemed like a cool thing to mark off my bucket list, and I figured I might as well get it out of the way while I was young and healthy.

The pulmonary embolism threw off the “and healthy” bit. But I still managed to train up to a 20-mile long run.

I had no idea how long it would take me to finish, but based on my training, I was hoping it would take around 5 hours and 15 minutes, since that’s a 12-mile pace and I was able to maintain that in my training thanks to 4/1 intervals (run for 4 minutes, then walk for 1 minute). Then I saw the high was going to be 77 or 80 (depending on what channel I was watching), with high humidity. I amended my plan to finish within 5 hours, 30 minutes. Maybe even 6…

So how’d it go?

According to my “magic watch,” I ran 26.2 miles in 5 hours, 20 minutes and 48 seconds (the official time has me at 5 hours, 29 minutes and 10 seconds; I think my distance was off by a bit because I kept having to weave throughout the course, whereas they measure it as a straight line). Hooray!

Notes on the course:

• Even with corrals (I was in F, starting at 6:10 as opposed to corral A’s start time of 5:35), there was still a lot of people crammed into a small area. It didn’t thin out until mile 3 or so.
• The Wide World of Sports area was pretty demoralizing. Since it was out and back, you had to run out seeing people who had just finished that section that much further ahead of you.
• Wide World of Sports was also dangerous. As we ran by the baseball field (an actual team was practicing), someone knocked a ball over the fence, and though we all called out “ball!” “look out!” and “heads up!” a girl still got konked on the head. Everyone called for a medic but I never found out what happened to her (she was conscious when I last saw her).
• Disney races are always great at keeping up your motivation. There were so many volunteers, spectators, and even cast members that wished us well (favorite signs: “Best Parade Ever” “Worse Parade Ever” “Don’t Poop (out)” “Run, Complete Stranger, Run!” and “If you can start, you can finish.”)
• I ended up having to walk the last 2 miles. It was just too darn hot and my legs started to stiffen. I’m comforted by the idea that I would’ve finished in my planned time had I kept up the 11:30ish pace I kept until then.

Proof that I finished!

How am I feeling?

• I’m not going to lie: the last 2 miles hurt. I saw my friend at the finish line (and my husband saw me, though I never spotted him), then walked around a bit delirious, picking up my medal, water, PowerAde, snacks, etc before I remembered to call my husband.
• When I found him, I teared up a little and had a little trouble catching my breath (because I was emotionally overwhelmed, not for any physical reason) but after a few moments regained my composure and all was well.
• I mean, I had trouble stretching/walking, and had to lean on Hubby to get back to the car, but managed to make it to the local Perkins for breakfast (thanks to the Tylenol I immediately took, I think). Mmmm.
• When I got home, I took a warm Epsom salt bath, then iced my legs a bit.
• I had a pre-race massage yesterday (many thanks to Jenna at Eternal Youth Wellness Boutique in College Park) and will have another tomorrow. I hope that helps the residual soreness.

Oh, and there’s this weird spot on my back that got badly chafed. I think it was from a seam that stuck out on my jersey. It hurt like the dickens; I literally screamed when Hubby inadvertently poured water on it earlier.

So there you have it. Oh, and for those that are curious if I will ever do it again?

Hell. No. (And I mean that sincerely.)

Have you had an opportunity to try a Coke Freestyle Drink Machine? I’d seen one last year at Universal, but it was guarded closely by employees, so I didn’t get a good look at it. When a rep asked if I wanted to investigate one up-close, I was excited to oblige. [I was compensated for this visit, but as always, I didn't grant the rep editorial approval. You can read my full disclaimer here.]

I decided to visit the Millenia location of Moe’s, which is one of the first places (as far as I know) to receive a Freestyle. They were clearly excited about their new toy, with everything to window clings to counter mats to wall hangings extolling its virtues.

They’re pretty easy to operate. The opening screen lists the available brands.

Say you wanted to check out the Coke varieties. Click the Coke icon and you’re brought to the wonder that is flavored Cokes. Old faithfuls like Cherry and even Cherry Vanilla, but also new and exciting like Raspberry, Lime and Orange.

I was intrigued by the Orange Coke and decided to give it a try. It was surprisingly tasty, reminding me of the unique flavors offered at Epcot’s Club Cool.

Some brands offer a lot of flavor variety.

Others not as much, I imagine because Raspberry or Lime Dr. Pepper doesn’t entice anyone.

Next time I think I’ll make a foray into the wonderful world of Sprite. I just didn’t have the room this time around.

The takeaway: Freestyle Machines give you the power to choose whatever flavor you want, not limited by only the 6 or 7 that the traditional fountain machines provide. If you’re adventurous, you’ll love it. If you’re not, you’ll still get a kick out of watching other people try out the machine. A Moe’s employee I spoke to said people really seem to enjoy it, and a fellow customer said if she could have one in her house, she’d be the hit of the neighborhood!

• Location: They’re starting to pop up all over Orlando. You can use the locator on the official website or Facebook page, or just pop into Burger King, Five Guys, or new Moe’s.
• Freestyle Etiquette: 1) Only one person can be served at a time. To be courteous to others, keep this in mind and don’t dawdle over your choices if there are people behind you. 2)  With hundreds of flavor options, you may run across one you don’t particularly enjoy. It would be a shame to discover this after you’ve already poured yourself a full cup, so I’d encourage you to try a sip of a new flavor before indulging in a larger volume, to cut down on waste.
• Tip: Make sure you press the screen hard enough that your flavor is indicated by a thick ring, as indicated below, or you’ll end up pouring yourself something unintended (and in my case, initially thinking Orange Coke was a scam, because it tasted exactly like regular Coke, the default flavor of that screen).
• Bonus: Like anything else, there’s an app for this.

Have you tried out a Coca-Cola Freestyle Machine? What’s your favorite flavor?

This little beauty (courtesy of reader KE; thanks, KE!) is from the M&M store in Las Vegas. I wonder if our local Florida Mall has them too…?

In case you’re wondering Amazon (unaffiliated link) sells a set of 3 for $8.99 plus shipping. Little rich for my blood, but to each his own. I bet kids would love these things, and it may even encourage them to hang up their clothes…ok, probably not, but it’s worth a shot, right?

Remember, if you’re out and about and spot a random hanger, send it in!

As I’ve mentioned before, one of the reasons I started RH was in direct defiance of those who moan and groan about living in Orlando: ”there’s nothing to here”…”we don’t have any culture to speak of”…”the only fun activities  are at the theme parks and/or too expensive.” To prove them wrong, the categories Hangin’ Around (things to do) and Frugal Fun were born.

You know who else is helping in the “Central Florida is culturally relevant” crusade? United Arts. Since 1989, they’ve awarded grants of over $121 million to the City Beautiful’s arts programs, to help keep doors open and, especially important to frugal folks like myself, tickets prices reasonable (sources here and here).

Who’s benefitted?

• the Maitland Arts and History Museums (only the source of one of RH’s longest running series, found here, here, here and here!)
• Enzian, the place for independent movies, not to mention tasty food (RH’s review)
• the Orlando Science Center, where I ate a bug
• the Albin Polasek Museum and Sculpture Gardens (I never made it to the event I wrote about, but I went several months later and it’s a fascinating place, thanks both to the man himself and the art he created)
• Orlando Fringe, where I met my husband

And those are just the place I’ve written about. I’ve also had the pleasure of volunteering at the Florida Film Festival, watching The Importance of Being Earnest at the Orlando Shakespeare Theater, and listening to an Orlando Gay Chorus performance.

And those are just the places I’ve been to. A complete list is here.

What’s in it for me?

Do you get the Red Chair Rewards weekly e-newsletter yet? Not only is it packed with upcoming events, but every issue boasts at least one Buy One, Get One Free offer, with several other discounts as well. What are you waiting for? Sign up now!

What do you want me to do?

• Start exploring your city. Tell me about the cool stuff you’ve found, and I’ll try it out too. If you haven’t already bought tickets (only $22/person), the Red Chair Affair this Saturday, 8/25 is a great way to preview the upcoming arts season (for a video synopsis, click here). I went a few years ago and was tickled by the Shakespeare Theatre scene from Earnest, which is how I was inspired to go for the first time.
• Donate to this great cause. You can give money directly (if your gift is over $100, they’ll send you a discount card with lots of BOGO goodies), find out about a workplace campaign, or buy a raffle ticket for a chance to win a United Arts gift basket.
• No money? No problem. We all know I’m a HUGE advocate of volunteering, and I’m sure the organizations would be happy to have you.

The takeaway: Orlando is a cool place to live. We have cool (cultural!) things to do. And United Arts is cool by helping to make that happen. Now might be a good time to return the favor.

Note: I’m attending the Central Florida Blogger Conference in September, and part of the program is to encourage bloggers to get the word out on the positive things some local non-profits are doing (it’s called Blogging for Good). I chose UA because it aligned most closely with my beliefs and blog content. In full disclosure, I have a chance to win a prize for this post, but win or lose, I stand behind this organization.

As I mentioned in my last post, I was recently hospitalized for six days, so I’d like to think I know a thing or two about hospital visitors. Like anything else, however, it’s a highly personal decision (both on your part and that of the person you’re visiting), so please keep in mind that every situation is unique.

This (i.e., reasons why I didn’t particularly want visitors)

• I was pretty tired and even when I wasn’t, I was supposed to be resting/recovering. Not the optimal time for socializing, especially since I felt somewhat obligated to entertain folks. Hard to do when you can barely sit up.
• At any given time, I had at least one IV attached. They weren’t particularly comfortable, and I was super paranoid anytime anyone got anywhere near the bed, lest they should accidentally pull on the line. I shudder even now thinking about it (P.S. Thankfully, that never actually happened).
• Do you know what they allow you to wear under hospital gowns? Nothing. Not a stitch. It’s weird to have a conversation when you’re basically naked. Yeah, you’ve probably never thought about that before, right??
• I smelled funny. Besides the fact that I couldn’t shower or brush my teeth for the first 24 hours, I smelled like…hospital. The nurses said it had something to do with the plastic they use, as well as their alcohol/cleaning solutions. Regardless, it wasn’t something I wanted to subject visitors to.
• Nurses are great, but are immune to embarrassment. They’ll poke, prod, and ask you less-than-comfortable questions no matter who’s in the room. You know who should have to hear when someone’s last bowel movement was? NO ONE.

That (i.e., reasons why you should visit):

• The person asks you to.

That’s honestly the only reason I can think of. I totally understand that you might want to make sure for yourself that they’re ok, but save that for when they’re home. That’s what happened to me: I didn’t get many visitors during my six-day stay, so when I got home, I had no shortage of people to lift my spirits. No IVs, no nurses, and thank the Lord, no gowns.

The takeaway: Knowing someone is sick is scary, but remember that it’s scary for that person, too. Make sure you’re keeping their wishes ahead of your own. They’ll thank you for it.

Bonus:

• If you’ve gotten the ok to visit, be sure to call first. You wouldn’t drop by someone’s house unexpectedly, right? Same principle. Once you’re there, strive to keep your visit to 20 minutes; 30 minutes max.
• Bringing food for those convalescing is pretty standard practice. Just make sure you check first that they (1) aren’t under any dietary restrictions and (2) aren’t already inundated with food. My awesome co-workers waited until week two of my time at home, so right when we ran through the first batch of casseroles, we had more food delivered. Genius!
• Don’t forget to check in with the spouse and/or family. My husband was so grateful not only to have people to talk to during the rough times, but that we had people to feed our cat and deliver work-related paperwork so he didn’t have to.

These are just my experiences. Other people may LOVE visitors. Have you ever had a hospital stay? Where do you stand on the issue?

On Thursday, July 26, Hubby drove me to the emergency room because I was having trouble breathing. Caused, we thought, be a worsening of the bronchitis that I’d been (mis)diagnosed with earlier in the week. I ended up having emergency surgery that night, spending 6 days in the hospital (including the ICU), and being properly diagnosed with pulmonary embolisms. I tell this story partially as a journal of sorts, partially to answer some questions that have come up, and partially to offer some advice.

What are pulmonary embolisms?
You’ve heard of blood clots, right? They form for a variety of reasons, and depending on where they develop, they have different names. In the legs, it’s Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVTs); in the lungs, it’s a Pulmonary Embolism (PE); and in the brain, it’s a stroke.

How did you get blood clots?
Turns out I have something called Factor V Leiden (that V is pronounced “five”),  a genetic predisposition to over-clotting. Not everyone that has Factor V develops clots, but there is an increased risk. That risk gets even higher if you smoke (I don’t), if you’re overweight (I’m not), if you’re highly sedentary (not me) or if you’re on birth control (crap!).

You know those warnings that come with all birth control pills, about how you can develop blood clots? They aren’t fooling around. That’s a real threat. It probably didn’t help that I was on Yaz, which you may be familiar with thanks to all those TV ads offering to help sue the makers for causing…wait for it…blood clots. Hubby saw those ads years ago and expressed concern, but I stayed the course. In my defense, I talked to my gynecologist about it, but we thought the risk was low: I’m young and healthy, so surely I could beat the odds.

Wrong!

Why did they think you had bronchitis?
About a week and a half before my ER visit, I noticed I was out of breath as I used the stairs at work. I thought I was just coming down with something. The heavy breathing began in earnest that Sunday, and I eventually succumbed to peer pressure (Hubby and my co-workers) the next afternoon and went to my work’s wellness center, who told me I needed an x-ray of my lungs. I went to one of those evening clinics, and though I told the staff at least 3 times that I needed an x-ray, they simply told me I had bronchitis, gave me a breathing treatment and prescribed me antibiotics.

Are you totally pissed at them?
I’m actually not. I’m sure for 99% of people that complain about shortness of breath, bronchitis is the answer. I am, however, a little irritated that they ignored my request for a chest x-ray. It wouldn’t have shown that I had blood clots (you need bloodwork and/or a CT scan for that), but it would have shown I didn’t have bronchitis, and perhaps they would’ve probed a little more before sending me on my way.

The clots caused the shortness of breath?
Yes. My PEs were enormous, apparently, and caused 100% blockage of my lungs. The surgeon said it was the worst case he’d ever seen.

How serious was this?
Pretty bad. I didn’t know it at the time, but right after the surgeon spoke to me, he took Hubby aside and told him that he’d better start calling family and friends, because there was a chance this wouldn’t go well. Woah. Hubby was forbidden to tell me at this point, because they wanted me as alert and upbeat for the surgery as possible. But I’ve watched House. I know blood clots are Not Good, though it didn’t really dawn on me until Hubby called my brother and his wife, who immediately hopped in the car to come to Orlando. His wife is a nurse, and clearly understood what was at stake.

How did they get rid of the clots?
Ordinarily, they inject clot-busting drugs (like Heparin, I believe), and basically cross their fingers that the drugs attack the clots wherever they occur. My clots, however, were so large that there wasn’t time for such things. Luckily, my doctor was one of four in the state of Florida that is experimenting with a non-FDA procedure where they go in through your leg, insert tubes in the lungs, and release the drugs from there, thus decreasing the time it takes for the drugs to reach the clots. Twelve hours later, the tubes are removed and eventually, the smaller clots dissolve on their own through the help of other drugs.

How scary is emergency surgery??
Not that bad. At this point, I just really REALLY missed that little thing known as breathing (I was on oxygen, but it was still hard to catch my breath), and was willing to do whatever it took to make that happen. Plus, they gave me badass anti-anxiety medications, so that helped for sure! (As an aside, after the first procedure, my chest actually hurt worse than it had before. Turns out I could *feel* the tubes in my lungs. Weird!)

How are you now?
Fine, actually. Stronger every day (when I first got out of the hospital, I would get tired just from brushing my teeth, but I’ve come back quite a bit). Here’s where I am:

• I’m on a drug called Coumadin, a blood thinner. A normal person would be on it for about 9 months after a clot, but I may have to be on it for longer, given my genetic marker. Luckily, the food restrictions and side effects are minor: I have to watch my vitamin K intake (largely found in leafy greens), since that works against Coumadin, and I have to be careful not to injure myself, as I would bleed a lot.
• I’m supposed to take it easy for 4 to 6 weeks, so that means no running. After that, we’ll see, because Hubby is understandably nervous about me possibly injuring myself.
• Once you get clots, odds are increased that you could get others, so I’m under doctor’s orders to get up and move, to keep the blood flowing. Also, no more hormone-based birth control for me. Not ever.

The takeaway: Here are some things I’ve learned over these past few weeks.

1. If everyone is telling you to go to the doctor, you probably should. I’m never enthused to see doctors, because I know they’re not magical and able to heal you with a simple co-pay, but when friends, co-workers and your spouse all vote “go,” you should probably go.
2. Doctors aren’t infallible. Second opinions are invaluable. I’d never had bronchitis before, so I assumed the night clinic doc was right, but when I did research and realized my symptoms didn’t match (I didn’t have a heaving cough), I should’ve seen someone else immediately.
3. You are your own best advocate. Ask lots of questions. Make sure you understand what’s going on. No one will fight harder for your health than you.
4. You’re never too young to have a will. We don’t have one, and I handle all our finances. If something had happened to me, Hubby would’ve been screwed. While you’re at it, write down your usernames/passwords and store them somewhere safe.
5.  If you’re on medication of any kind, know the side effects. The odds may be small that you’ll contract anything, but the warnings are there for a reason. TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY.

I know this was really long, but thanks for hanging in there. Coming up soon: hospital visitor etiquette.

Oh, I almost forgot the best part! On one of the first nights of their Orlando stay, my bro went to a fast-food restaurant and I guess his wife ordered a kid’s meal. They brought the kid activity flyer back for me, so I would have some puzzles and such to keep me occupied for a time. The riddle below was on that flyer exactly as it appears, I swear. Talk about hilarious timing!

Q: What’s the harder to catch the faster you run?

A: Your breath