Random J pop

Music video: Kumi Koda - Lay down

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 13:57:00 PST

Kumi Kehovah just slapped Nicki Minaj and Ayumi Hamasaki in both of their faces with her glow in the dark weave ponytail. She ripped off both of their "Super bass" and "Lady dynamite" videos respectively snatched a bit of Kylie's X artwork, looked a tramped out mess, grabbed her titties, crowd surfed, dropped a line about poppin' bottles ("Juicy" any one?) and just like she won me over. Kumi won this shit the second the rocked that ultra violet glow in the dark weave ponytail. I want one. If she had whipped that shit like a helicopter, she would have been a contender for my music video of the year.

Music video: Nicki Minaj - Stupid hoe

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:11:00 PST

I must be in the minority of people who don't hate the song "Stupid hoe". The song is absolute rubbish. Yes. But the song is funny, features some killer lines and I like the beat. I have a weakness for these horrid hood, fanga snappin' beats. Ya'll should know me by now.

As a buzz song, a bonus track or a mixtape track "Stupid hoe" could get a pass. But as a single for an upcoming album which is due in a few weeks time? Nicki, bye. This shit won't fly. The charts and mainstream buying public do not want this type of Nicki Minaj, Roman Rolanski or whatever the f**k she calls this alter ego who is on this track. They want the pop savvy "Super bass", "Turn me on" and "Where them girls at" Nicki. This song will tank harder than that virus ridden rig Jill Valentine found herself on in Resident evil: Revelations.

And if the song wasn't enough to kill all chances of a hit, then the video will body slam it right to the bottom of the charts and consciousness of all those who managed to make it through a viewing without wanting a refund on their soul or having an epileptic fit as a result of what is now Hype Williams signature editing style. This is one of Nicki Minaj's worst videos. And I have no idea what the f**k has happened to Hype Williams. This guy used to be responsible for some of the best videos in Rap, Hip-hop and R&B. He pretty much defined these genres visually with his cinematography. But now, his videos look a mess. I thought he scrapped the bottom of the barrel with Beyoncé's "Video phone", but he managed to scratch a hole in it with this.

I like 1:36, because a weave gets thrashed for no reason. But other than that, no. With the dislike ratio of the music video hitting over 60% on YouTube, I smell an album push back.

M.D.N.A chats with Graham Norton

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 12:04:00 PST

Madgina has a new film out (fear not, she only directed it, she doesn't star in it) has already confirmed she'll kick off another world tour this year and has a new album due in March. Bones is already steering the promotional wagon to flog her merch and appeared on Graham Norton to pimp it. Although she seemed more passionate about the film than the music. Hardly surprising. Passion isn't something Madonna's music has shown in years.

The corpse even looked good. Those Chanel gloves were fugly, but when you've got hands like her's, gloves are a girls' best friend. F**k the diamonds.

I don't even know why Emile Sande was there.

Her Vadgesty's album M.D.N.A will be released in March, preceded by the piss poor single "Gimme all your luvin'" dropping on February 7th. I'm only looking forward to this album because William Orbit is involved. Bitch NEVER should have stopped working with him. It's a good look that she's seen sense. And marks one of the few occasions in the post millennial phase of her career where Madonna has gone back to working with a producer she's worked with before. The album cover has been shot by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott, with the creative involvement of Italian creative director Giovanni Bianco. I can't wait to see the extreme lengths the CGI team go to for this album artwork to make Madonna look half her age. We should take bets on whether she'll have her legs open on the cover too.

Music video: Kumi Koda featuring Mr. Blistah - So nice

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 09:25:00 PST

Kumi Koda does her best Oiran impression. Not that she really has to try that hard. Bitch is a natural. She probably runs an Oiran service out of a cat flap in her kitchen.

I'm wondering if Mr. Blistah is real or if he has some type of condition which prevents him from appearing in front of camera's, because he was notably absent from his first collaboration with Kumi for "Candy" and once again despite being all over another song of hers, he's nowhere to be found in the video.

Music video: Kumi Koda - Boom boom boys

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 09:09:00 PST

Kumi Kehovah's lust for the white man continues in the video for "Boom boom boys", which see's her drug Dr. Who via a USB stick and rape him after a failed attempt to woo him via the standard rules of persuasion.

I liked this video and didn't hate the song. But I would have been all over this had Anna Tsuchiya done it, because the whole vibe of both the song and video is something she would have owned completely. Something about Kumi doing it just feels a little too forced and over-glossed.

A ghetto clawed, doll faced Kumi Koda on the cover of ViVi magazine

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 08:47:00 PST

Here's Kumi Kohovah, airbrushed to the max, with her nails looking like ghetto talons and doing that thing with her mouth which makes me want to throw a room shoe at it.

The J-skanks' 10th studio album Japonesque has leaked online and the general response seems to be that it's really good and also 'FLAWLESS'. Then again, everybody said Kingdom was 'flawless' and I found it to be as flawed hell and one of Kumi's worst albums. I'm often in the minority when it comes to the verdicts on this ho's albums. So we'll see. Expect my review to drop within the next few weeks.

Crystal Kay drops news of a new single and a new tour. Bitch, get that money!

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 16:18:00 PST

Crystal Kay uploaded a Vlog. Click play and prepare to be amazed at how Delicious deli be caring about this ho. I'm flabbergasted. New single, new tour and an official fan club - they ain't playin'! They genuinely want Crystal to get that paper. Actual paper you can buy shit with. Not A4 paper that Sony was giving a chick.

It's great to hear that things are moving so quickly for CK after being sat stale over at Sony for so long. Ever since Crystal left Sony, many videos of her performances have been uploaded to YouTube and have been sticking around. So hopefully we'll have some actual footage of this acoustic tour in March to watch and stan for. Because we all know that Crystal's acoustic performance game is air tight. 'Member how she sang the absolute shit out of Michael Jackson's "Human nature"? Exactly. I want a DVD and a Blu-ray release of this tour.

I want a new Crystal Kay album so bad, you have no idea. This new single best be on point and the video best be on some decent budget shit too.

Album reivew: Perfume - JPN

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 15:57:00 PST

A realization came for many last year that Perfume's album (whenever it planned on releasing) would be a bit of a big deal. It would clutch hair pieces in its bare hands and have bitches running to a temple shrine for a prayer that their career can withstand hit single after hit single with 3 girls sporting a musical and visual consistency I've not seen this air tight since the f**king Spice girls. These girls can't sing, they're not thb est dancers and they're not the best performers. But when you have a team behind you who have a clear vision with a sight set on it with laser accuracy, you end up being Perfume and dropping albums like JPN. And then there's Kashiyuka's hair, Nocchi's legs and A-chan's smile which has the power to cure cancer.

The pressure on JPN would always be placed on either whether the new songs could match up to the near perfection of the singles which make up the majority of this album and would go on to define it. Or...if the new material would exhibit any form of growth than the non religious fans felt the singles did not provide. It's difficult to call, because the production on this album is so amazing that you find yourself admiring the effort and sheet talent of Yasutaka's work, but perhaps not necessarily like the song as a song. And the songs which are good are killer. But the most striking thing which hits you about JPN, is that despite a string of wholly solid singles, JPN just doesn't hit you square between the eyes as you may have thought it would at some point last year whilst you were trying to perfect the footwork in the "Nee" video in front of your bedroom mirror or scouring YouTube for a full version of the "Laser beam" video back in May. It's all a bit strange.

In order to remove any form of inevitable segregation between album and single tracks that we'd tag the songs with, Yasutaka addresses this from the start by easing you into an ambient intro which then segues into the beloved "Laser beam". But this is not the same" Laser beam" you had heard back in May of '11. It's a new album mix. It loses a couple of the single versions key sections, such as its telephone operator style intro and post bridge build into the chorus. But the new melodic additions put a cool spin on the song. Yasutaka chops and stutters the absolute shit out of the post chorus sections in a way which cements his position as one of the best knob twiddlers in the music biz right now. "Laser beam" was a great song in May. It's still great now. Yasutaka is a beast. Kill yo'self.

Those hating on old singles - 0. JPN - 1

The 3 minutes of perfection which is "Laser beam" then mixes straight into "Glitter", the most recent and final JPN single. The album mix of "Glitter" unfortunately doesn't work such wonders on the A+ original. It pains me to admit that the album mix taints the original and leaves a nasty taste in my mouth like Wasabi. The album mix plays around with the structure of the single version far too much and butcher the conventional song structure of the single version which made it a perfect pop song. As with "Laser beam" Yasutaka throws in some new melodic passages, arrangements and completely new key changes. A killer 90's chord section gives the album mix an intro just as epic as the single version. But it's all downhill once that shit stops. The song feels so badly structured that the end result is a song which feels as though it was messed with too much and unnecessarily so. If Yasutaka's intention was to spin the song into a version which would play better in the clubs then he succeeded. I admire the effort and it's cool to have an alternative mix, which some are bound to prefer. But in my world, the single version is far superior.

"Natural ni koishite" stuck out as one of Perfume's singles due to its raw sound and its easy breezy 'n loose concept music video. And amongst all of the other songs on JPN it sticks out no less. Despite the utter over use of auto-tune up and down the track, the girls' charm still comes through. I could be imagining it or be completely sprung on this song because of how good it is. But it exhibits a sense of playful personability which you didn't always get with the Perfume singles which came before.

"My color" at some point had to have been considered as a single, because it slots in so nicely with all of the JPN singles. And quite frankly, it sounds like a f**king smash hit. It has such a bright summative vibe about it, that it should have closed the album and would have bookended it nicely. "Nee", "Voice" and "Fushizen na girl" are all as fly as they were when they were originally released as singles back in 2010. In fact, they all sound better and I'm not quite sure why or how. "Kokoro no sports" is the JPN contender for a concert encore. The chorus demands that you link arms with somebody and sway as you scream the chorus to the song, meanwhile Perfume are standing on stage being showered in sparks as confetti gets blasted around the arena. These bitches know what time it is.

"Kasuka na kaori" and "Kokoro no sports" (shockingly) places an emphasis on Perfume's vocals. We're not talking acapella's and beat drops. But in comparison to the rest of the album, there is a real sense of dialing down for the sake of allowing Pefume to actually sing. Of course, Yasutaka crams the sections where the girls aren't singing with all manner of musical wizadry, kick ass melodies, rhythms and everything to keep the levels of the song high after Perfume's vocals having it drop like the performance gauge of a one armed two-fingered hobo playing Rock band. I love me some "Kokoro no sports". But "Kasuka na kaori" is forgettable J-dramas credit roll fodder.

Those hating on old singles - 0. JPN - 0 (point deduction)

The majority of the album is tailored for the girls to put on heels, fly asymmetrical printed dresses and dance like the future of their lives depend on it. But Yasutaka slows things down on a couple (literally two) moments. "575" is Perfume's equivalent of a slow jam. A really nice, spaced out, mellow song. And the girls even spit some bars on it. Their flow won't have Jay-Z throwing in the towel, but they sound a damn earshot better than most dudes in the rap game right now. Souja boy for one can go sit down. "Toki no hari" is the weakest song on the album. If there was ever a piece of evidence arguing the case as to why Perfume should always be auto-tuned and sandwiched between layers of synths, bass lines, whizzes and warbles, it's this song. The whole thing sounds like a cross between a Disney toy soldier march and BBC's Songs of praise on a Sunday.

JPN is a good album. It's a solid album. But not an amazing album and one which will be defined by the singles it included, rather than a body of work. Despite Perfume's vocals still sounding like Hatsune Miku on helium and down right annoying, they at least have more of a presence on this album. And the strong image of Perfume which was brilliantly perpetuated in each of the singles' artworks and music videos gives many of the songs a real identity. But at this point I can't help wonder what the next step for Perfume is musically. Whilst JPN is much more refined, accessible and radio friendly as a whole than their past efforts, it doesn't exhibit much growth. And with Perfume having such a set defined style, you do wonder what their next evolutionary step is and if there is one at all. I like these bitches, so I'll believe there is one...although in the back of my mind I wonder.

Album highlights:
■ Laser beam (Album mix) J's fave

■ Natural ni koishite
■ My color
■ Voice
■ Kokoro no sports
■ Fushizen na girl
■ Spice

Kumi Koda's dress game. Match, set and on point.

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 13:44:00 PST

Kumi Kehovah killing dresses and keeping it chic and classy in the January issue of Emoda. You may now go and kill yourselves.

Kumi Koda x Emoda @ Kumi flash

Music video: Se7en - Somebody else

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 13:43:00 PST

I think it's a contractual obligation of every artist signed to YG to release a song which sounds like this. JUST like this. Because 2NE1, Big Bang, they've all done it so far.

This song is tired, just like Se7en's fringe hair pieces. His song "Girls" with Lil' Kim was better than this shit. No seriously. It really was.

Christina Aguilera set to "F**k your body" and crush that shit.

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 12:25:00 PST

Christina is in the process of recording her fifth studio album and it's lead single is supposedly done and dusted. Rumours are abound that Christina will kick off her fifth studio album with the lead single "Love your body". Fans needn't worry that Chrissy will be going all "Beautiful" and 'love yourself' with an esteem building single. The original version of the song is said to be titled "F**k your body" - so it'll be Chrissy singing up a skank storm as usual. She obviously didn't learn her lesson from "Not myself tonight". But then again, this is all speculation for now.

Christina Beanbaguilera has also been coming under serious fire as of late due to her ballooning body shape. People made jokes at what the hell Christina was doing at the Skyrim launch party a couple of months ago, but the woman looks like she's been on that game daily and nightly, along with some side sessions of Dark souls.

Big can be sexy, but Christina is going to need to fix up her image pronto before this new single of hers drops. Because no amount of fish eye lenses and long shots is going to make her look good in a video unless she sorts our her style. I've not got a problem with Christina's weight. I have a problem with how she dresses it, because it makes my soul cry every time I see it. Bitch dresses it WRONG. Outfits two sizes too small, fishnet tights having her legs looking like honey baked ham and titties overspilling like milk left in a saucepan on a gas mark 5 - it's too tragic. She also needs to fix up them weaves. Somebody needs to throw Christina a scrap book of her looks during her Back to basics era, because this was the one and only point in her career when her style was on point and she looked good. Her Bionic era looks started off good, but then the style fell off like those album sales.

Music video: Beni - Eien (Short version)

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 12:24:00 PST

I personally would have preferred Beni to have shot a fly ass video for "Yes or no?" and popped her pussy in a short black dress and expensive heels. But, whatever.

Beni fans will know from the offset that "Eien" does not feature on her latest album Fortune. It acts as a theme song for the J-drama Honjitsu wa taian nari. Needless to say the timing is a bit off, with Beni's album already out and the Japanese music-scape not being one for repackages and re-releases like in Korea and the West.

Artists are usually tapped early on for J-drama songs, resulting in a nice bit of build up promo for the inevitable album which will also feature the song. But sometimes these slip through the net and boats are missed, as was the case with Beni here. A real shame, as she could have flogged an extra few copies of Fortune as a result. Hachikō knows she could do with a sales push.

"Eien" doesn't do much for me. And the video looks like "Heaven's door" spun into a budget version of Ayu's "Virgin road", without the bad arsery and a sexy Austrian. But kudos for Beni staying on that grind.

Krystal looking a pale mess. Where's da new f(x) ish at!?

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 12:20:00 PST

f(x)'s Krystal released a snap of herself rocking a platinum blonde wig and contact lenses. She looks dead. She looks a friend out mess. She looks like a white girl. Netizens were torn between adoration for how "stunning" she looks and also scared because she looks such a hot mess and expressed desire for her to kill this look dead. I'm down with the latter.

F**k this shit. I just want to know when f(x) are going to drop that new-new and throw Girls' generation under a North Korean hummer truck. Those bitches have not done right by me since returning from their stint in Japan. So I'mma need f(x) to bring it instead.

Krystal makes a stunning blonde @ Omona they didn't

Music video: Jessie J - Domino

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 12:19:00 PST

"Domino" is the only single Jessie J has released so far that I actually like, which is probably because it stinks of the 80's (I love me some 80's) and it sounds so much like Katy Perry's "Last Friday night (T.G.I.F)" (which I loved). As amazing as Dr. Luke is as a producer, he sure isn't subtle when it comes to recycling. Then again, which producer is these days!? The guy copy and pasted everything from the guitars, and the key changes, right down to the filtered bridge section. Gotta love the originality.

I liked the video. Really simple. Well edited and fun to watch. But there is just something about this woman which annoys the hell out of me. If I'm the presence of anything she does for too long, I'm overcome with the desire to throw myself off of a building.

Album art + tracklisting: Angela Aki - Songbook

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 12:14:00 PST

If there's one woman in the game right now whose pregnancy hustle deserves to be a trending topic on Twitter it's Angela Aki. This ho is not letting her pregnancy stop her for SHIT! Fresh off of a promotional stint with UNIQLO for their winter sweaters campaign, a fifth studio album and a performance at the Tokyo dome heavily pregnant day after Christmas, Angela Aki will be dropping ANOTHER album at the end of this month. Angela Aki's Songbook will be a cover album, sung entirely in English. [EDIT - The album will be in Japanese]. The album will come with an actual songbook of sheet music for all of the songs. And before haters start talking out the side of their mouth that this is some cheap cash in that Angela will not promote, bitch is already performing this shit and doing the promotional rounds for this album. Angela needs to call her next album Hustle. Beyoncé don't know a damn thing about it.

Honesty | originally performed by Billy Joel
Will You dance? | originally performed by Janis Ian
We're all alone | originally performed by Boz Scaggs
Material girl | originally performed by Madonna
True colors | originally performed by Cyndi Lauper
Without you | originally performed by Badfinger
Today | originally performed by Smashing Pumpkins
Kiss from a rose | originally performed by Seal
A song for you | originally performed by Leon Russell
Creep | originally performed by Radiohead)
Still fighting it | originally performed by Ben Folds
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday | originally performed by Boyz II Men

I'm really looking forward to hearing Angela's renditions of "True colors", "Kiss from a rose" and "It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday". I could imagine Angela singing and playing the SHAT out of these. Not to sure how I feel about "Material girl" though. Iconiq burnt the flag for Japanese artists covering Madonna songs after her piss poor cover of "Like a vurzin".

Music video: Willow featuring Nicki Minaj - Fireball

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 12:12:00 PST

This bitch is 2 years old. What is she doing with a Hype Williams music video starring Nicki Minaj? And why is she still singing about being at a party that's poppin'!? What party is she at!? She ain't even old enough to play Wii Party.

Willow's swagger in this video was too much. But the video itself is boring and this song won't do anything on the charts, even with a hot guest verse from Nicki Minaj.

I was going to suggest Capcom try and tie this song in with Street Fighter x Tekken. But with the game being about beating people up, I doubt having an artist who isn't even old enough to play the game front it with a song is a good look. And the Capcommunity would have a fanny attack at a Street Fighter game having any form of connection to Willow Smith.

Jay-Z dropping this girl and shelving her album is going to be heartbreaking. Or not. The Jigga man only has time for one child right now and it's not Willow. Girl, bye.

Album arts + tracklisting: Kumi Koda - Japonesque

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 12:55:00 PST

These album covers stink of Ayu's 2008 weave pieces. But Kumi looks good. Nice, classy and regal.

The horrendously titled Japonesque will release on January 25. The album version of "V.I.P" will features T-Pain and the song "Slow" will feature Omarion. I guess nobody told Kumi that neither of these n***a's are hot any more. They're not even luke warm. Kumi was probably told by her A&R that they'd secured two black American's and the rest was history. Because if you're black, then you're automatically an R&B star in Japan. I was rolling like Usher when I was over there.

Every single song on this album aside from the Intro and Interlude will also have a music video. The album will release in 4 editions, witht he most expensive of the bunch coming bundled with a B4 sized photo book and 'goods' which are yet to be revealed. It's probably a rice cooker and an iPod touch with Kumi Kehovah's entire discography on it.

Kumi is really trying her best to make Ayu look lazy. I can't wait to see what robot face does to top this with her next album. Catch the extensive tracklisting which comes with everything put the kitchen sink otherwise known as Kumi's vagina after the jump.

Introduction
So nice
Boom boom boys
V.I.P featuring T-Pain
Slow featuring Omarion
Brave
Everyday
In the air
You are not alone ~Acoustic version~
Interlude
Escalate
Love me back
No mans land
Ai wo tomenaide | 愛を止めないで
Ko-so-ko-so
Lay down
Love technique
Poppin’ love cocktail featuring Teeda
All for you

DVD - disc 1

Poppin’ love cocktail featuring Teeda
Boom boom boys
No mans land
V.I.P featuring T-Pain
Ko-so-ko-so
Lay down
Escalate
Love me back
So nice
Slow featuring Omarion
In the air
Everyday
Love technique
You are not alone ~Live version ~
Ai wo tomenaide | 愛を止めないで
Brave
All for you

DVD - disc 2

Live Best DVD
Past albums commercial collection

1st album: Affection
2nd album: Grow into one
3rd album: Feel my mind
4th album: Secret
5th album: Black cherry
6th album: Kingdom
7th album: Trick
8th album: Best ~Third universe~ / Universe
9th album: Dejavu

Kumi was due to embark on a tour (as she does ever other week) but canceled it due to her health condition. Her health condition being that she's pregnant. Yes. I'm shocked too. The skank actually let herself get hit raw and fell pregnant by some dude who I'd take bets on either being a miscellaneous DJ or one of her backing dancers from the Trick tour.

There's every chance Kumi only fell pregnant because she saw Beyoncé do it and figured she could use it as an excuse for sales not meeting expectations and just drop a shit load of videos instead of actually touring. Kumi done jacked B's I am...Sasha Fierce font for Japonesque. Why not jack her pregnancy album release overlap plan too!? These planned pregnancy career hoes. They're something else.

Misono had better take this opportunity to get her music career off the ground. Preferably when Kumi is 8 months gone, can't put on her own shoes and is a giant incapacitated mess.

Crystal Kay outsteps hoes with her performance of "Superman"

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:13:00 PST

Crystal Kay donned her white wife beater, silver glove and loose fit jeans to make a bee line for wigs with a live performance of her Pop tinged R&B-tastic single "Superman". I love this song more with each listen. I genuinely get mad at life when it ends. I'm going to need Delicious Deli to rustle up a 25 minute extended edit of this shit.

Crystal's footwork game is serious. She was out stepping hoes. OUTSTEPPING HOES! Well...except for Perfume. Their foot work game in "Nee" is legendary. Even Ciara ain't touching that shit. But Crystal was steppin' it out like a pro. I love the performances of "Superman" Crystal has given so far, because it feels like we're seeing a side to her we've not seen before. Or maybe it's because we're just seeing her PERIOD! Because Sony seemed to like hiding their acts from TV like Michael Jackson was hiding them kids.

Girls' generation mime the shit out of "The boys" on Japanese television

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:11:00 PST

In true K-Pop fashion, pop crowds have to be subjected to a song being over performed beyond death, zombiefication and the after life. But SM entertainment (always ones to go one better) decided that performances of "The boys" in Korean and Engrish was not enough. That shit gots to be in Japanese too.

The anorexic pop stars hit up the land of the rising sun to grace Hey! Hey! Hey! with a 'live' performance of "The boys". "The boys" should have just been a song on their debut Japanese album. It fits the style of it better than The boys album - which is just a hot teeny bopper, bubble gummed out mess with only one good song on it.

The girls looked tired and so did this performance. Taeyeon needs to pull Jessica aside and let her know who is the leader of the group. Jessica is always strutting up in the middle of shit and just pulling poses like she's the boss. Somebody needs to tell her to take her back seat and just handle that English when she's called for. Ever since "Tell me your wish (Genie)" Jessica's been pushing her way to the front of the group. I shouldn't knock her hustle, but I will. Bitch needs to siddown.

Expect SM entertainment to release a Swahili version of "The boys", with a Nigerian version of "Gee" as a B-side.

Music video: Meisa Kuroki - Breeze out

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:25:00 PST

Meisa cannot sing and she can't dance. But she looks fine and makes that money. You can't knock that hustle. And if haters try to step to her with that nonsense, she'll just tell 'em "It's how I LOL".

I'm thinking that Meisa may have signed some type of deal with Subaru, but I'm not too sure. I didn't get enough slow panning shots of her grinding her vagina all over the signature blue paint work to clarify.

Single review: Namie Amuro - Sit! Stay! Wait! Down! / Love story

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 16:14:00 PST

When Namie Amuro drops a single, it's an event. Because you know a bitch is going to drop a double A-side and that at least one of the songs is going to be hot and have you wanting an album from her like yesterday. Namie's recent string of singles hasn't been amazing, but they've been solid on the whole and nicely varied. But Namiserable falls off with her 36th single.

"Sit! Stay! Wait! Down!" has the makings of a good song. The title alone is ridiculously cool and straight to the point. And the whole premise of taming a man like a dog is a wickedly cool concept which has been done many times before, but never by Namie - although it was always a matter of time and her time is now. But despite Namie's calm collected tone and demeanor, Michico's bullet proof pen game and T. Kura's production skills, the song falls flat. These three usually turn up gold together. But something is amiss with this song. It sounds like shit we've all heard before and the chorus just sounds like a droned out mess until "Sit! Stay! Wait! Down!" gets chanted. The song plods along as though it's just going through the motions, never truly gripping or enticing you in any way to get on board with it.

"Love story" is boring. Namie tried to reach for that same light, airy vibe that "The meaning of us" had, but the song lacks a strong melody and a latching point. It's great that Namie seems to feel more comfortable putting out ballads, as there was a period where she was shunning them completely. But she's running the risk of having them all sound the same, which is a pitfall the likes of Kumi Kehovah, Ayumi 'Robot face' Hamasaki and BoA all fell weave first into over the years.

The first B-side of the single is the savior of the release which prevents it from being complete rubbish. "Higher" has more energy, a much stronger melody than "Sit! Stay! Wait! Down!" and Namie coming to the fore front of the song vocally. It delivers more of what "Sit! Stay! Wait! Down!" fails to. It's a nice new song to have and is more what you'd expect from Namie as a single, sounding like a souped up version of "Dr.". The music feels as though it's taking on a life of it's on due to the sonic shift from verse to chorus. But Namie does a great job of keeping up with it and tethering each of the pieces together with her vocals. It's nice to have a B-side from Namie after so long and a strong one at that.

"Arigatou" falls into the balladry slump that "Love story" is currently kicking it at the bottom of. As with "Love story", Namie sounds nice, highlighting a tone and strength to her vocals which NEVER comes through in her up-tempo songs. But the song is weak. There is nothing memorable about it and you'll have a hard time distinguishing it from "Love story".

Sit! Stay! Wait! Down! / Love story is one of Namie Amuro's weakest singles in years. You can always rely on Namie to drop a single which has you playing it for days, non-stop, round the clock, day and night, on the iPod, in the whip, at the gym, at home and then some. But Sit! Stay! Wait! Down! / Love story doesn't give you enough to want to do that. I fear for Namie's next studio album if this is what we can expect from it.

Song highlight:
■ Higher J's fave

YouTube dude makes Girls' generation look (even more) like chicks who can't dance

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 15:41:00 PST

A Chinese dance student posted a YouTube video of himself working through Girls' generation's routine for "The boys". Not content with doing this shit in sweats and trainers, this dude decided to do the damn thing in hot pants and heels.

Girls' generation sure did bring the boys out...out of the closet and onto YouTube, making them look like a sloppy piece of garbage in the process. This is how the routine should have looked.

Meisa Kuroki 'performs' "A woman's worth" 'live' LOL!

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 15:35:00 PST

Meisa Kuroki will not sit down. She's got too much money coming in to sit down. She performed one of her A-side singles "A woman's worth". The song was used for a Seiko watch commercial, but a bitch wasn't wearing one. And 'LIVE' was flashing in the corner of the screen, but a bitch was miming. Meisa is living proof of the Japanese dream. All you need to be fine as hell, become the face of Uniqlo for a season, get a mini album out and the yen will roll in.

I actually think Meisa may have been singing parts of this live. It's difficult to tell because her studio vocals are so horrendous even with every single piece of pro-tool and auto tune software working over time on it. But certain sections sounded horrendous +99999 damage overkill. I usually defend Meisa's lack of talent with how fine she is. But I can't use that card here, because the performance was SO bad. I can take the rubbish dancing when it's inter-cut with shots of her looking fine in different outfits. But four minutes of the same tired routine just blew the fine card into the wind. She's Japan's darling and she gets those product tie in cheques quicker than Ayumi Hamasaki, so she won't ever get told bye.

Music video: Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What doesn't kill you)

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 15:22:00 PST

All of Kelly Clarkson's videos are the damn same. The girl can sing. And she's never really been about image. But she needs to start carving some kind of visual identity for herself, because her videos do not stand out. And her music is in danger of doing the same.

I listened to Kelly's latest album Stronger the other week and it's a nice mix of all of her past albums and one of her most cohesive releases to date. But it doesn't have as many stand out potential singles as All I ever wanted had and she's probably going to struggle for hits from here on out. I doubt I'll ever post a review of the album, but I will recommend you check out "Darkside". Best song on Stronger for me. And of course Kelly sings the shit out of it.

Music video: Namie Amuro - Love story

noreply@blogger.com (Random J) — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 15:16:00 PST

Namiserable looks tired. She needs to stop with these tours, look after her son and just take it easy.

In the space of 6 months we've had Crystal Kay, Ayumi Hamasaki and now Namie Amuro all head to London. I had no idea that Namie was in London at any point or that she had plans to visit. Avex probably put her in the coach section of Ayu's flight to ease up on that expense budget. Namie keeps her shit on the down low, so it's not something many would have known about. Unlike CK and Ayu, who be tweeting in advance where they'll be hitting up and where they be staying. Ayu welcomes the mobs like nobodies business. She lives for that shit.

It must have felt a bit liberating for Namie knowing she could sit outside of a cafe in broad daylight and just walk down the street and not be noticed in London, unbeknown to everybody that she is such a huge star on the other side of the globe. People must have been watching her from the other side of the street wondering Who is she? Why they filming this fed up looking broad? Namie Amuro. Google a ho. She has enough yen to buy your whole life.