Smell the roses!  Ah…the beauty of the flowers of spring!  I can’t wait!!

Spring is less than a month away!  I am so ready for it to arrive.  I get this way every year.  Winter gets old pretty quickly in my book.  I’m over the cold.  I can’t complain about snow, because we’ve had almost none.  But, the dreariness of winter gets me down.  I’m always ready to feel the warm sunshine and be out in the fresh air without having to wear a coat.  There is something fresh about it…something freeing in being out in the creation that God has made and experiencing it first-hand.

Spring is Renewal

Spring has a renewing effect on me…my senses, my thinking, my heart.  I guess that’s why I look forward to it so much.  Right now, I can feel the draw of it.  I can sense the need for it.  I long for spring to arrive.

For those of us who live in parts of the world where all four seasons are experienced, this makes perfect sense.  For others, it may not be as powerful an image.  However, imagine going from summer…hot, dry, humid (believe it or not, I love that)…into fall, the cool, crisp fall mornings with the beauty of the color as the leaves of the trees paint the landscape.  From there, we are plunged into winter…harsh, cold, frigid, damp, dreary.  After spending a couple of months in the most severe display of winter, the promise of spring emerges.  We begin to see signs of its coming…a robin in the yard, buds sprouting on the trees, Easter flowers poking their heads above the winter grass.  It’s coming!

All of this grand imagery is a reminder to us of the faithfulness of God.  It’s a reminder to us of the power of renewal…the Spirit does His work in us to bring renewal.  There is the initial rebirth of salvation…spring arrives!  However, there is the “seasonal” renewal of the Spirit which refreshes, rejuvenates and replenishes our spirits.

When, in the course of life and its daily grind, we find ourselves in a “winter” season of the soul, it is then that we need…we long for…the spring of His Spirit’s renewal.  He brings us a youthful exuberance and lifts our spirits and graciously sustains us.

Thanks to God for His renewing power in our lives…hope springs eternal!

Psalm 103:1-5

1 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! 2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, 3 who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, 5 who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

For a little seasonal inspiration, you may enjoy watching/listening to this video of Beethoven’s “Spring” sonata for violin and piano.

Romans 8:28

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Colossians 3:23-24

23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, 24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ.

1 Corinthians 10:31

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

In light of these truths, I offer an example of one who is striving to do this…an inspiration to all of us.

When things get tough…when we face struggles in life…our first response is usually just to try to run from it.  We want to alleviate the problem and avoid the negative impact of the situation as quickly as possible.  That seems to be the most typical human reaction.  We want to reduce the negative and unpleasant…painful experience.  And I get that!  However, someone said something the other day in a Bible study that reminded me that this may not be the best FIRST response to difficult situations in our lives.

My friend, Kathy Wasser, made a statement that struck a chord with me as we were talking about how we know God loves us.  She said that we may need to resist the temptation to get out of the painful situation quickly and step back and ask a question:  “What is God wanting to accomplish in this situation?”  That may sound a little cliché or “super spiritual,” but it is good advice.  If we believe the truth of Romans 8:28, it is logical for us to do just that.

Romans 8:28

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

What God May Be Up To

Think about what God may be up to in any situation…even a situation that we don’t understand, want or think we can handle.

1. Doing Something to Mature and Mold You – Becoming more like Christ is the goal (Romans 8:29).
2. Doing Something to Touch Someone Else’s Life – God often works to touch others through the things that happen to us.
3. Doing Something to Prepare You for the Future – Over and over again, I have seen God work through circumstances in my life that I didn’t understand at the time, but later, I could see how it prepared me for a future challenge.
4. Doing Something to Bring Glory to His Name – It is all about God…we lose sight of that sometimes, but we must remind ourselves that this life is not about our comfort and meeting our needs, it’s about bringing glory to our Creator and becoming a part of His story.

Although definitely not an exhaustive study, perhaps this will help you to remember, the next time you face a trial, stop and ask, “God, what do you want to do through this?”

 James 1:2-6

2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind.

This weekend I was saddened to hear of the death of the talented entertainment icon, Whitney Houston.  She had a phenomenal career in music and movies which was plagued for decades by the use of drugs and alcohol.  Her marriage to Bobby Brown took her from bad to worse which later ended in divorce.  She died in a Beverly Hills hotel on the eve of the Grammy Awards, reportedly submerged in a bathtub with bottles of prescription drugs lying open in the room.  I was saddened to hear of her death…one more in a long list of celebrities who have experienced similar results of the impact of fame, success and wealth.  There are so many layers of dynamics that play into the disintegration of the lives of entertainment stars, and my purpose here is not to peal them away.  However, at the core must be the lack of peace and contentment with themselves and their purpose.  Otherwise, their ascension to fame and success would have provided the satisfaction that the drugs and alcohol have failed to provide.  My goal here is not to bash these “lost souls” who have failed to find the thing that satisfies their inner longing.  I’m saddened for them and desire that all of those who are looking for satisfaction in the empty promises of wealth, fame and worldly success, find the truth that nothing other than a relationship with God will meet that need.

However, in a culture where celebrities find it in vogue to utter an acknowledgement of God in certain settings, it is evident that uttering such words and living as a Christ Follower are not one in the same.  Houston was brought up in the Baptist and Pentecostal church, so that she hopefully was exposed to the gospel at some point.  Her earliest musical performance was that of gospel music in the church.  That didn’t guarantee her life would follow a particular path…her demise, perhaps, had taken her far from those original Christian roots.  I don’t know and would not profess to indicate her spiritual state when she passed.

What is it that makes people choose very different paths when faced with the pressures of material and worldly success?  There are many things that could be identified.  All of them would be legitimate, no doubt.  However, there is one thing that stands out in my mind above all others.  It is a sense of the purpose of life…each one’s life in particular.

An example of this clarity of purpose that impacts one’s ability to handle being given a “platform” is Tim Tebow.  Although I’m NOT a University of Florida football fan, and I don’t follow NFL, I have always admired Tebow.  His bold witness of his faith and his desire to live it out in no uncertain terms is to be admired.  I’m amazed at how hated he can be…even by Christians, for his stand.  However, there is no doubt he understands his purpose.  In the video below, speaking to a gathering of Prison Fellowship, he clearly states how he sees his purpose in relationship to football and celebrity.  This was while he was a student at Florida, I believe, and perhaps he has become even more articulate since then, he is clear on his vision of the purpose of his life.  Watch and listen…

The Key to Success

Did you catch what Tim Tebow said?  He is very clear that his purpose in life is not football…it is to take the gospel to the lost world.  That clear purpose puts everything else into perspective for him.  Obviously, there is much life ahead for Tim Tebow, God willing, and his faithfulness to continue his journey of faith will continue to be tested.  One thing is for sure…his perspective on his purpose will enable him to have every opportunity to finish strong and to make a difference in this world on an eternal level because of it.  Much of that has to do with knowing why he is here.

Another up-and-coming celebrity athlete to watch along these lines is Jeremy Lin, the point guard for the New York Knicks.  In only his first few games on the team, he has proven himself to be a basketball sensation with a hugely bright future.  Although he has worked hard and diligently, consistently making his way in the game since his high school days in Palo Alto, CA, he has seemingly risen to broad notoriety almost overnight.  Such quickly achieved fame and celebrity could easily threaten to quickly derail this young man…easily threaten, that is, if he didn’t have a clear vision of his purpose.  In an interview with ESPN, he noted Tim Tebow as an example to him and his desire to express his faith to impact people off the court.  He seems to get it…he has a purpose bigger than basketball.  I’m anxious to see how he uses his “platform” to make an eternal difference.

Everyone Has a Platform

You and I may not be famous…we may never be widely known for our talent or athleticism.  We may never have our names on the front page, the sports page or in Variety Magazine.  However, we all have a platform.  Our lives have connections and we wield influence over people we know because of that connection.  If we see our job, our success, or our achievement of wealth as an end in itself, not matter how famous or unknown, we run the chance of having our lives derailed.  However, if we understand our purpose on this earth as being of eternal significance…sharing the truth of the love of Jesus and His gospel…that understanding will characterize and put into perspective any opportunity of “platform” our life may afford.

Ultimately, the acclaim of our Father will tell us that we’ve lived a life worth living.  I long to hear Him say…

…’Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your lord.’  (Matthew 25:21)

I think people who’ve gotten to know me over the past 5-7 years wouldn’t think this about me because I run and work out, but, I’ve never been a great athlete.  Those who have known me over the course of my life are quite aware of that.  I mean…I played a little football in the front yard with neighbors, I played some golf in my teens and twenties (a few times since then as well), I was the catcher on my church softball as a teen and have played some in my adult years…and that’s about it.  I never played little league, never was on a team at school, and I hated basketball because I was just no good at it.  So you may be surprised to hear I want to be a coach!

Now that you’ve stopped laughing, let me explain.  I’m speaking of being a Life Coach.  Life coaching is a practice that helps people identify and achieve personal goals.  It is akin to mentoring and draws on skills from counseling, teaching and discipleship.  It is different from psychotherapy in that it does not diagnose mental disorders nor treat them.  It is not meant to primarily address crises, but it may come out of having experienced a crisis.  The Life Coach walks alongside a person to help them identify goals in certain areas of life and develop a strategy for achieving those goals.  It is literally “coaching” the person in their field…LIFE.

A number of years ago, I met and began mentoring a young man who was at a crossroads in his life.  Through that experience, I began to see the value of one-on-one discipleship.  Since that time, I have found myself establishing many other mentoring and discipling relationships that have flourished and through which individuals have grown and stabilized their lives.  Now, I even find people seeking me out for varying degrees of this relationship.  The cool thing is…I am energized by it!  I am becoming passionate about it.  It has been integrated into the ministry that I carry out as a discipleship pastor.  However, I can see it expanding much more as God opens more doors for me.

I attended a seminar at the AACC World Conference last fall on coaching.  After that experience, I was convinced that this was something I wanted to pursue as an asset to the work of ministry to which God has called me.  I have reviewed a couple of training options and I’m considering whether that is the route which I should take.  A meeting with a friend who gave me some advice last month in Atlanta makes me wonder if it is really necessary that I pursue a full-fledged training program.  As he talked me through the considerations for starting a formal coaching ministry, he helped me to see the following:

1. I have a Master’s degree in counseling, so I know how the process of interaction works in that setting.
2. I have been in ministry for 27+ years, so I have that experience under my belt.
3. I have a successful 28-year marriage…not perfect, but committed.
4. I have teamed up with my wife to bring our almost 23-year-old daughter to a place of adulthood, completing her bachelor’s degree, faithfully following God and ordering her life according to His plans for her.
5. I have successfully worked with individuals to help them clarify goals, identify obstacles, devise strategies for growth and implement them for life change and growth.
6. I have served as a high school guidance counselor for seven years with a great deal of experience in college and career planning.

The Plan

So, I’m thinking that with a few courses just to get the nuances and practical strategies of this type of ministry or “business” off the ground, I may be ready to begin.  Although not completely developed, the plan would look something like this:

• Most clients would be online, although local clients would certainly be engaged as well…especially since I have many connections through my pastorate that would open possible doors for clients.
• The fee would entitle the client to a certain number of face-to-face (Skype for those online) sessions each month and a certain availability for follow ups via email.
• The client would commit to a minimum of three months (this may change) of the process.
• Areas of focus from which clients may choose would be spiritual growth, marriage enrichment, career planning, and life transitions (following divorce or death of a spouse).

That isn’t a detailed business model, but it is at least a beginning.  I’ve even, thanks to the advice and “mentoring” of my friend, John Saddington, come up with a name for the ministry, “Tandem Coaching.”  This name emphasizes the idea of coming alongside someone on their journey for a while to help them through the hurdles.  I’ve already purchased the domain for the website and established a Twitter account.  I guess I’m sort of serious about this.

The good thing about it is I can take it as slowly as I need to in order that it not interfere with my “day job.”  In reality, it will mesh and integrate quite well with my current ministry, so that will be a plus for me and for the church.

So…I’m throwing my idea out there for feedback.  What do you think?  Have you ever heard of Life Coaching?  Would it be something of which you would take advantage?  Let me hear your feedback in the comments.  Thanks in advance for your input!

Image from exposedtolight.com

A number of years ago, when I lived in the Nashville, TN area, a news story broke that was an eye-opener for me.  The report said that a number of Hispanic women had been discovered, held against their will for the purpose of forced labor…in Nashville!  I though, “Surely this is a mistake.  That kind of thing doesn’t happen in the United States.”

In 2008, however, I attended my first Catalyst Conference in Atlanta, during that meeting an Atlanta pastor gave a brief testimony of his own experience.  He had become aware of this global atrocity of human trafficking…enslavement of people for the purpose of exploitation.  He felt that their church must become involved somehow, so he began his research into the problem.  To his amazement, the very corner in Atlanta on which their church stood was one of the areas of highest activity in human trafficking.  A sobering discovery, indeed.

Experts estimate that there are currently 27 million victims of human trafficking in the world.  That’s a staggering figure.  That is women, children and men who are enslaved…either enslaved in forced labor situations or sexual exploitation.  Slavery occurs when one person is controlled by another, forced to work against their will and treated like property.  There are more people involved in slavery right now in our world that all who were involved in the entire African slave trade.  This is a huge tragic problem that, until recently, has gone unnoticed and unaddressed.  The Body of Christ is now rising up to bring this horrific problem to the notice of the world and to do something about it through funding education efforts, rescue operations, and restoration efforts for those delivered from the bondage.

I was blown away by the response of college students and others at PASSION 2012 in Atlanta, last month, who gave over 3.5 million dollars to fund efforts to rid the world of slavery.  Is it possible this problem could be eradicated from our world in the lifetime of these students?  Perhaps.  Regardless, the situation needs our attention in prayer, giving and going.  Those who are enslaved must be freed from their physical bondage and also freed from their spiritual bondage through the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Watch the Freedom Film here and see the stories of some who were rescued and have found true freedom.  Learn more about this problem at the A21 Project or the International Justice Mission so that you may pray and give more effectively.  Share the message and the need with others.  In our efforts to reach a dark world, this is one area in which we can make a major difference in eternity.

I have friends who are in Brussels this morning waiting on their connecting flight to West Africa.  This team is going to the Ivory Coast in order to help conduct a medical mission, conducting scores of surgeries and addressing the physical needs of the people of that region.  While there, they will talk with people about Jesus.  They will have evangelistic outreach efforts while they meet the physical and material needs of the hurting.  This is a very intentional mission…help the hurting and introduce them to Jesus.  I’m praying that they see many come to Jesus Christ in faith.

I have participated in “mission trips” before and have had the opportunity to share the gospel with those who have yet to meet Jesus.  I have passed out literature door-to-door to promote a church or particular evangelistic event.  I have sung in a community music festival, participated in a patriotic parade, helped with a coffee house outreach and prayer walked areas that need the gospel message.  In the states, I’ve done door-to-door evangelism, shared my faith in evangelistic campaigns, gone to the inner city streets to witness to the homeless and invited people to church for special services.  All of these efforts have had their place and varied levels of success in helping people come to faith, but they have really become the exception in my life rather than the typical modus operandi.

I’ve really tried to make sharing my faith more of my daily lifestyle.  Through relationships and connections, I want people to realize that my relationship with Jesus is real and powerful.  I want them to know what Jesus has done for me and to give them the opportunity to have that experience as well.  I’ve heard some who condemn this thinking, saying it is too unintentional.  I beg to differ.  I believe it is the most intentional evangelism there is.  To have a faith that is real…it will impact how I live…which will impact my relationships…which means, out of a heart of love for those around me, I will share the most important thing in life to me…my relationship with Jesus.

This isn’t a method of evangelism that I’m describing.  I think specific evangelistic methods and tools are needed and useful…campaigns, programs, literature and promotions.  However, if we’re not careful, those efforts can frankly be contrived, plastic and too methodical.  They can become mechanical and statistical.  I never want anyone to think they are another notch in my “gospel gun.”  I would be horrified if someone thought that was the only reason I shared the gospel with them.

Without Jesus, people will perish for eternity!  That truth, when you really think about it, gets a hold of your heart.  When I keep that at the forefront of my mind, I’m made more keenly aware of the needs of people to know Him.  I see every person with eyes that are concerned for their welfare.  I want them to have the opportunity to know Jesus…to be free and experience eternal life.  I mean, if you had the knowledge of the cure for cancer, wouldn’t you want every cancer victim to know about it?  If people around you were starving, and you had an endless stash of bread, wouldn’t it be criminal to keep that from them?  I mean, someone has said about evangelism, “It’s just one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread.”

So…when I meet the guy at the gym, or when I learn the name of the girl at Starbucks, or when I have the college student over for dinner, I am genuinely desiring to establish a relationship…a friendship.  That person is a PERSON and I want to know them…I love meeting new people and making new friendships.  And…because I care about them as a person, my lifestyle will demonstrate something about me and my love for Jesus to them.  My love for them will also lead me to share the reason for that love.  That is an unintentional intentionality that characterizes my faith.

QUESTION:  How did you come to faith?  If you’re not a follower of Jesus, would you be offended if someone shared their faith out of love for you?

I love our LifeGroup.  We are a diverse group, but we have meshed so well.  Last night, in our gathering, a theme seemed to emerge out of our discussion of the authority of Christ.  Coming out of our Lead Pastor’s sermon from Sunday (our groups are sermon-based), we were discussing how Jesus’ authority emerged from His submission (Mark 1).  His submission to John’s baptism, to the Father’s plan, to being tempted, to preaching the gospel…all lead to his authority as He was described by John the Baptist, as the One with authority to preach the gospel of repentance, as the Teacher who speaks with authority concerning the Scriptures, as the authority over demons, as having the authority to heal the sick and dying…I think you get the idea.

So…in our LifeGroup, we’re attempting to make this message personal…applying it to life.  In doing so, the theme (as I mentioned above) emerged of worry and stress.  As we thought about the authority of Christ in our lives it became apparent to us that there is a direct correlation between our worry and stress, and how we view the authority of Jesus in our lives.  I immediately thought of something I had read by Francis Chan in his book, Crazy Love.  He wrote…

Worry implies that we don’t quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what’s happening in our lives.

Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace toward others, or our tight grip of control.

[Chan, Francis (2010-01-01). Crazy Love: Overwhelmed by a Relentless God (p. 40). David C Cook. Kindle Edition.]

Ouch!  That hits pretty close to home!  When I worry, what does it say about what I believe about God?  How does it reveal what I believe about the authority of Jesus in my life and situations?  I’m not a huge worrier, personally, but I do tend to let stress get to me (see yesterday’s post).  I shouldn’t, and I won’t, if I remind myself that Jesus has authority over all those situations…that He is LORD!  When I remind my self, my stress level goes way down and my tendency toward worry lessens.  I am encouraged and I am more likely to take those issues to Him in prayer…believing He is going to take care of the need.  After all, the Word reminds us of this very thing and I’ll leave you with these thoughts directly from the Authority Himself:

Philippians 4:6-7

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Luke 6:46 (Jesus)

“So why do you call me ‘Lord,’ when you won’t obey me?

I’ve never done any sailing.  I’ve not even spent a lot of time on the water, really.  I’ve gone fishing, I’ve done water skiing and wake boarding, I’ve even done a bit of canoeing and kayaking.  In my limited amount of maritime experience, however, I did have one experience in which a storm came up while we were out on the water and we had to make it back to the shore as quickly as possible to avoid “rough seas.”  It was a little unnerving, but we made it and didn’t have to weather the storm at all.  I remember, however, a friend sharing an incident he had on the Chesapeake Bay that wasn’t quite so good.  The storm came up so fast on them, they didn’t have time to make it to shore.  They had to ride out the storm near an island of the Bay Bridge-Tunnel and by the time they were done, the waves were breaking over the bow of their little motor boat.  It was a pretty precarious situation, but they made it through.

Conflict can be that way…it can come up on you quickly, without much warning and can feel pretty overwhelming at times.  Whether it be at home, in the workplace or with a friend, sailing the rough waters of interpersonal conflict can be a pretty rocky ride.  Add to that, a personality that avoids confrontation (me) and it isn’t much fun to sail those seas.

Why Conflict May Arise

This list isn’t exhaustive, but it is a pretty good overview of the possible reasons conflict may arise in your life.  I believe it is important to examine the causes before we can hope to effectively apply the principles to address the conflict.

Misunderstanding

I think this is probably the most common causes of conflict…and sadly so.  When we misunderstand someone’s actions or motives, we may bring about a conflictual relationship that grows out of that circumstance.  This can often be a result of jumping to conclusions without have the full information.  When we are not in the mix, just observing from the outside, the chances of misunderstanding is great.  Assumptions are made and we have the potential for conflict.

Disagreement

We all have our opinions.  Some people are more opinionated than others.  Some are more vocal with their opinion than others.  And, you know what?  That’s okay.  I’m glad there are a variety of opinions among the people with whom I interact.  I have learned a lot from hearing the opinions of others over the years.  The conflict arises, however, when one person is determined that their opinion must be followed no matter what without exception.  Now granted, in the work setting, there is a boss who must make the decisions and the proverbial buck stops at his desk.  Two sides of the coin in that situation must be considered.  The boss, if he is wise, will receive and consider the advice and input of those who are working in that setting.  When he makes his decision, however, the employees have to accept that decision and work with it out of respect for his position.  If that doesn’t happen, conflict will result.

Power Grabbing

Sometimes, conflict occurs in people’s lives because there is a struggle for power and influence.  We see this in families, marriages and employment environments.  When one’s position is not strong enough to accomplish their personal ambitions and goals, they will typically vie for position and power to get what they want.  If the person who engages in this practice is actually in a position that doesn’t merit such power, a potential conflict erupts.  In marriages, this happens all the time.  The God-given roles of love and respect are blurred as the wife endeavors to take over the leadership role, instead of the respect role.  For the child who is strong-willed, there will be an attempt to manipulate the parents to get what they want.  This desire for power and control is as old as the Edenic family dynamic.

Selfishness

That’s an insidious problem…we all suffer from it!  The drive to be self-centered is as natural as breathing.  Our fallen nature has caused us to seek what we want, sometimes at the expense of anyone else around us.  Divorce…case in point.  This is an attitude we must all guard against.  It is the attitude that says, “I deserve this.”  It is the attitude that refuses to “think of others better than yourself.”  Selfish living will ALWAYS lead to conflictual relationships.  Selfishness can’t be tolerated in marriages, families, friendships or the workplace.

Strategies for Avoiding the Rough Waters

There is no way to avoid conflict altogether.  However, there are certain strategies we can employ to reduce the probability of conflict and to disarm it when it does rear it’s head.

• Get the Facts – Don’t just to conclusions.  That will usually always lead to conflict.  If there is a situation that involves you, be sure to talk to the people who have the information.  Gather all the information that you need to understand completely what is happening.  An uninformed person with a strong opinion is a loose cannon.  Don’t fire before you have all the facts.
• Think the Best of Others – I know this can make you a bit vulnerable at times, but it really is the best approach to take in relationships.  I remember, as a teenager, reading about a family member who had been charged with shoplifting in our town.  My immediate response and thought was, “I know this person.  I don’t believe they would do that and until it is proven otherwise, I won’t believe it is true of them.”  When I told this person what I thought, they hugged me and cried, thanking me for thinking the best of them.  It turned out that it was a misunderstanding after all.   I think the most difficult thing for me in leadership is when I believe others have questioned my character or my motives when they didn’t agree with the decision I made.
• Listen – Sometimes people just want to be heard.  When there is a situation that arises that is potentially conflictual, or in which there is some degree of disagreement about the course to take.  The person responsible for making the final decision should be willing to listen to the concerns of those with opposing opinions.  Three things will result:  1) the person will feel heard, 2) the decision-maker may learn something they didn’t already know and, 3) adjustments in the decision can be made.
• Accept Leadership and be a Team Player – this is hard when you have a strong opinion and your opinion isn’t accepted in a decision.  But guess what, that’s being part of a team.  Playing on a team means two things:  1) you play your position, not someone else’s and 2) you ultimately run the play called by the captain or become the reason the team doesn’t win.  If your attitude and motive is for a “team win” rather than a “personal win” you will likely minimize conflict.
• Let go of the Pride – someone recently said that all sin can be boiled down to the issue of pride.  I suppose this is true, at least we know that it can be categorized into three areas according to Scripture:  Lust of the eyes, lust of the flesh and the pride of life.  Pride requires that we be “right” no matter what.  Pride leads us to fight for our position at the cost of relationships and integrity.  Pride discounts anyone else’s opinion and pride prevents us from being a team player.
• Do What is Right – granted this will not always keep conflict from occuring.  Sometimes, frankly, it will create conflict.  When you’ve prayed for wisdom and direction, you’ve sought the truth of Scripture, you’ve received counsel and you’ve arrived at a decision that is right based on all these steps, you can rest assured that you’ve made the right decision even if it results in conflict.  Sometimes there’s no way to avoid it.  At that point, your peace comes in knowing you’ve done what was right and finding support and comfort in God’s Spirit and your support system.

The Bottom Line

Knowing that you’ve done the best in making decisions and you’ve done the right thing, while wanting what’s best for the whole, will bring you peace that passes understanding.  There is no way to avoid conflict, but we can lessen the likelihood if we will take these strategies to heart and apply them to your work and life.  After all, sailing the sea of life can be a little rough, but the Master Pilot will lead us if we will allow Him to.

Proverbs 6:16-19

16 These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: 17 A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, 18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, 19 A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren.

Philippians 4:6-7

6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Click on picture to see Starbucks French Press offerings

I am a Starbucks Gold Card holder.  What that means is simply that I make enough purchases on my Starbucks card so that I get a free beverage of any size every time I make 15 purchases.  So pretty much, every month I get a card in the mail that entitles me to any beverage they carry for free.

Now…I don’t drink a lot of lattes or cappuccinos…as a matter of fact, almost never.  I like the brewed coffee…give me the bold blend, please!  So, for a grande, I spend $2.12 in my town.  With my own cup discount, that comes to $2.02 for my usual “poison.”  Frankly, it seems to be a waste to use a card for a free beverage of any kind that could be worth up to $5.00 for a $2.00 cup of coffee.  Do you feel me?  So, I’ve been saving up these cards in my messenger bag and not using them until this past Monday, when I had a brainstorm!  What about a French press!  I queried the barista, who did his magic on the register and sure enough, it works!  I can use my free drink card for a free four-cup French press.  So, as long as I have the time to sit and enjoy it, I get a great deal on my coffee when I use one of these free drink cards.  Awesome!  Opportunity maximized!

Missed Opportunities Bum Me Out

I hate missed opportunities!  It’s very cool when I get it and I figure out a way to make the most of an opportunity that benefits whoever is involved.  You see, I will even be able to share my French press with a friend at times.  That’s cool!  I get the most for my reward and I get a great deal…even my barista friend said so!  So everyone’s a winner, right?

But, so often I miss opportunities…I see it when it’s too late.  I was not paying attention, I was focused on myself, I was oblivious to a need, or I was just uninterested…no matter what the reason, I’ve missed opportunities to maximize on a situation.  Now, I’m not talking about things that pertain just to personal gain or material wealth.  I’m talking about opportunities to make a difference in something or someone.  That is really where my passion lies…impacting lives for eternity.  But, frankly, sometimes I loose sight of that.

Case in point…last August I had the opportunity to visit with a friend while I was in California.  Although we had conversed online quite a bit, it was our first time meeting face-to-face.  We spent several hours talking over lunch and coffee.  He had an appointment to get to, so when we were parting, he asked my plans for the rest of the day.  Being focused entirely on my own agenda, I told him what I had planned and he made a comment.  We said our goodbyes and went our way.  A later text message communication between us made me realize we could have spent more time together that day (which was my last day there) if I had been sensitive to the opportunity.  I could have kicked myself.

Why It’s Important

Jesus was a master at taking advantage of opportunities to make an eternal impact.  Whether it was using a withered fig tree or Jacob’s well, He drew on metaphor and circumstances to speak into the lives of those He engaged.  That’s the kind of life I want to live.  I want my life to be always intentional in my relationships.  I want to know people…build relationships and begin new ones so that I am enriched and I enrich others.  It’s not about another “notch in my gospel gun,” it’s about loving people and wanting to share life and LIFE with them.  I really want people to walk away from having known me saying, “I’m different because I’ve known him.”  Let me hasten to say, that isn’t about “me” in particular, but about Christ living in me.  That’s what will make the difference.

The Apostle, Paul, spoke to this issue as he wrote to the Ephesian church:

Ephesians 5:13-21

14 Therefore He says: “Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light.” 15 See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, 16 redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, 19 speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 20 giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another in the fear of God.

“Redeeming the time”…that’s what I mean.  Making the most of opportunities…it requires intentional living.  It requires seeing one’s life as a mission, not just a meandering journey.  Shall we say, a journey with a purpose.

What are you thoughts?  How do you live intentionally?  Any regrets about lost opportunities?  Advice about how to avoid those regrets?  Let me hear your thoughts in the comments below.