RANT-HERE.COM - Adult Humor, Funny Photos and Videos ..........

Golf Story

Rant Man — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 11:49:09 +0100

Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched with horror as her
ball headed directly towards a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of them and he immediately fell to the ground clutching
his hands together in his groin, and rolled around in obvious agony.

The woman rushed over and immediately began to apologize "Please allow me
to help, I'm a physiotherapist and I know I could relieve your pain if
you'll allow me" she told him.

"Oh no I'll be all right, I'll be fine in a few minutes" the man replied,
still lying in the fetal position, still clasping his hands together at
his groin.

Following her persistence however, he finally allowed her to help.

She gently took his hands away and laid them at his sides, she loosened
his trousers and put her hand inside.

She administered tender and skillful massage for several long moments and
then asked "How does that feel?"

The Sensitive Man

Rant Man — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 11:46:02 +0100

A woman meets a man in a bar.

They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.

They get back to his place,

and as he shows her around his apartment.

She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom,

with hundreds and hundreds of cute,

cuddly teddy bears carefully placed

in rows, covering the entire wall!

It was obvious that he had taken

quite some time to lovingly arrange them

and she was immediately touched

by the amount of thought he had

put into organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf,

medium-sized bears covering the

length of the middle shelf,

and huge, enormous bears running all the way across the top shelf

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy

to have such a large collection of Teddy Bears,

She is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

but doesn't mention this to him.

The Debt Problem

Rant Man — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 15:17:43 +0100

I came across a new blog recently that may be worth watching. It is called My Debt Mountain and it tracks a guy who makes good money but is in debt up to his eyeballs and cannot get any help....

This must surely be becoming a common issue these days?

Divorce Letters

Rant Man — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 10:34:41 +0100

His Letter:

Dear wife:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you
forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home & didn't even notice I had a new
haircut, had cooked your favourite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.

You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or
anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to
West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Her letter

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's

YUKKY Toilet Roll Dispenser

Rant Man — Mon, 25 May 2009 10:50:38 +0100

This is simply a disgusting toilet roll dispenser...

Email Mistake

Rant Man — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:25:18 +0100

This is the funniest thing I have seen in years... I died laughing.

Viagra

Rant Man — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 13:07:50 +0000

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

For example, the trade name of Panadol also has a generic name of
Paracetamol. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Nurofen is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs' and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff

How One Man Got 98,000Pounds For Nothing!

Rant Man — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 19:54:51 +0000

Have you ever been part of a UK pension scheme? Even one that only your employer contributed to? And, do you now live overseas? If so, you have to read this story in which someone just like you made 98K for nothing.

Just like me, this guy contributed to a UK Pension scheme for a few years and then departed overseas. Just like me, he forgot about that pension because it seemed pretty worthless and all you can do with one is wait until you retire and then take the miniscule amounts of cash they chose to give you each month right?

Two Nuns

Rant Man — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 10:05:19 +0000

Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield

'Quick, quick!' shouts Sister Catherine. 'What shall we do?'

'Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination,' says Sister Helen.

Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

'What shall I do now?' she shouts.

'Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican ,' says Sister Helen.

Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

'Now what?' shouts Sister Catherine.

'Show him your cross,' says Sister Helen.

'Now you're talking,' says Sister Catherine.

The Hairdrier

Rant Man — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 22:15:16 +0000

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the
Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?'

'Of course my child. What may I do for you?'

'Well, I bought an expensive woman's electronic hair dryer for
my mother's birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?'

'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not
lie.'

'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.'
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'

'From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to
declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so asked,

'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'

'I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.'