http://rantdog.com/updates/Rantdog updates: videos, news, products and blog postsen-usWed, 14 Jul 2010 12:50:15 -0000http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/alberta-won-bitumen-lottery/Aren't we lucky? We won! Alberta won the lottery and we just happen to be sitting on a potential 1.7 trillion barrels of oil. More than Saudi! Oh right, Canada, you won too, thanks.   Though our attention is focused on the massive B.P. oil spill - another reason not to watch the news -  puke - here in northern Alberta we have our own slow-motion disaster in progress, the Alberta Tar Sands.     The tar sands has an estimated currently extractable 170 billion barrels of oil, and as much as 1.7 trillion barrels with future technology.  That's right. Trillion. More than five times more oil than of Saudi Arabia. This so-called "dirty oil" is produced from the mixture of clay and bitumen dug up from vast deposits here in the tar sands.   Outside Alberta, the reason to fear "dirty oil" is that its production and consumption pours between two to four times more carbon into the atmosphere than "nice" oil.  One quarter of U.S. oil comes from the Alberta Tar Sands; Canada is a "secure" oil nation, and refineries in the U.S. Midwest are making a bomb from the processing of the crude shipped south,   Inside Alberta, a growing number of us are becoming aware of the devastation caused by the digging up and processing of the tar sands. Cancer rates in local populations have increased. The boreal forest, a carbon drain for the world, is being bullodozed away.  Oh yea, and there's the "tailings ponds." Processing dirty oil uses a lot of water.  And once used, the toxic water has to sit to allow  the crappy chemicals to settle to the bottom before the water can be reclaimed. The problem is, this takes years. The tar sands industry have created the largest dam in the world, by volume of water held back.  Although this so-called "dam" is mostly slurry - huge piles of solid waste holding back the largest amount of liquid waste in the world.  Not bad. Guinness Book of Records here we come.   The tar sands are economically a big bingo win for Canada and Alberta.  And stopping development seems impossible. But we need to apply the brakes. Industry and government have to commit to decreasing the amount of carbon release in bitumen extraction and the oil companies have to make waste reclamation the number one priority.   But the B.P. disaster has made dirty oil look, well, just a little less dirty. http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/alberta-won-bitumen-lottery/http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/new-rantdog-episode/Whew!!  Finally, a new episode in the Rantdog 'Zombies of the Tar Sands of Death of Doom' saga.   Check it out!!! http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/new-rantdog-episode/http://www.rantdog.com//video/return-of-the-ducks-of-death-ep-2/What are we having for dinner? Zombie Surprise -  excellent! (4:13) http://www.rantdog.com//video/return-of-the-ducks-of-death-ep-2/http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/indiscriminate-worldwide-ranting/ // http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/indiscriminate-worldwide-ranting/http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/joe-interactive-twitter-test/ // http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/joe-interactive-twitter-test/http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/joes-twitter-feed/ // http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/joes-twitter-feed/http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/zombie/zombie/ // http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/zombie/zombie/http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/tarsands/ // // http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/tarsands/http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/dead-ducks/Joe Caligari here. I'm a Zombie Expert, not a Greenpeace Expert. I have to apologize, the first episode of ZOMBIES OF THE TARSANDS OF DEATH OF DOOM has a not-so-subtle environmental message. I fully applaud rantdog.com for this Romero-like satire, JUST SO LONG AS THERE'S PLENTY OF GORE! Two years ago a couple of thousand ducks flew into tailings ponds, which is northern Alberta's version of Love Canal. They died. But now we're reanimating them as FLESH EATING GHOULS! And ANIMATORS! MORE BLOOD! What do you people think? Let me know! http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/dead-ducks/http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/joe-caligaris-zombie-blog/Joe's on a rant.  About most anything Zombie.  He seems to be a bit of a purist, though.  And he does go on! http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/joe-caligaris-zombie-blog/http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/hitler-romero/   http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/hitler-romero/http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/OMTWNH/"Oh, man, that would never happen!" It's that moment when our suspension of belief disappears while watching a movie, and we are forced to blurt it out. OMTWNH! Even though you're watching ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS where a zombie fights a shark we still need consistency.  If the zombie and the shark both grew wings and continued their battle in the air, it would be fantastic but also a collective OMTWNH! The OMTWNH threshold is different for everyone  How much you're enjoying the film is a big part of it. Once I've decided a film is shitty then I want to pick it apart. http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/OMTWNH/http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/The-Crazies/In 1973 the Master George A. Romero made a film called THE CRAZIES. Here's the OPENING.  The original IS NOT A ZOMBIE MOVIE, it's . But take a look at the trailer for the remake that just opened.  I haven't seen the film yet.  The preview turns into 28 DAYS LATER... halfway through. I will see it this weekend and let you know what I think. If you saw it already, let me know what you think.  But remember.... I HATE DANCING ZOMBIES, RUNNING ZOMBIES, SPRINTING ZOMBIES, THINKING ZOMBIES, GUN-TOTIN' ZOMBIES & DANCING ZOMBIES (sorry Stubbs). On a slightly different subject, I just read this article DRIVE TO MAKE HOLLYWOOD OBEY THE LAWS OF SCIENCE. This article made me think. The idea is that movies should be allowed only one big breach of scientific laws.   Example; the giant insects in STARSHIP TROOPERS are cool, but in reality they would collapse under their own weight if they were really that size. The rest of STARSHIP TROOPERS is pretty logical, I guess. They give the example of the movie THE CORE as a film that breaks reality too often. Okay that's got me thinking. http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/The-Crazies/http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/zombie-expert-rises/Hey, I'm Joe Caligari and I'm a Zombie Expert. Yeah, right, what makes you an expert, I hear you mutter. Easy. How To Become An Expert says it takes 10,000 hours of practice.  I hate frigging math but (counts fingers) I have for sure spent AT LEAST 10,000 hours watching zombie movies, playing zombie games, reading zombie books, going on zombie walks and planning how I will survive and profit from the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse There are a heap of zombie movies in production: George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead is out this April (please let it be good, please let it be good), a 3-D Zombieland Sequel, a World War Z movie written by the Ninja Assassin guy, yikes, and yet another Deadlands sequel.Some of these movies will be GOOD.  Some will be BAD.  I don't give a shit. I'm not a movie reviewer. I'm a Zombie Expert. And the only important question for this Zombie Expert is....ARE THEY REALLY ZOMBIE MOVIES?More tomorrow,Yer ever-loving zombie amigo,Joe Caligari http://www.rantdog.com//blogs/joe-caligari-rants/zombie-expert-rises/http://www.rantdog.com//video/the-quackening-ep-1/Can a cute Bunny out run a tar soaked industrial strength Zombie? (3:32) Ep 1 http://www.rantdog.com//video/the-quackening-ep-1/http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/zombies-animation-animated-zombies/We're back - with New Cartoons about Zombies, and Tarsands, and Picnics.  And a Zombie Blog by Joe Caligari.  And a Forum where you can Tell Us What You Think.  About Anything at all.  And all our old 'toons, too. http://www.rantdog.com//news/rantdog/zombies-animation-animated-zombies/http://www.rantdog.com//video/50000-volts-of-fun/Play Tickle Me Taser with Rantdog. (2:14) http://www.rantdog.com//video/50000-volts-of-fun/http://www.rantdog.com//video/planet-of-the-nukes/Everybody should have one. (2:20) http://www.rantdog.com//video/planet-of-the-nukes/http://www.rantdog.com//video/the-street-cleaner/An awesome job. (2:06) http://www.rantdog.com//video/the-street-cleaner/http://www.rantdog.com//video/a-herd-of-goats/Have I got a job for you! (2:16) http://www.rantdog.com//video/a-herd-of-goats/http://www.rantdog.com//video/rantdog-goes-to-gitmo/It's a long way to go for a movie. (1:37) http://www.rantdog.com//video/rantdog-goes-to-gitmo/http://www.rantdog.com//video/drug-test/Pee in the cup. (1:36) http://www.rantdog.com//video/drug-test/http://www.rantdog.com//video/organsforcashcon/What if I change my mind? (1:08) http://www.rantdog.com//video/organsforcashcon/http://www.rantdog.com//video/unteligent-mind-control/Rantdog - the poster child for ADD. (1:31) http://www.rantdog.com//video/unteligent-mind-control/http://www.rantdog.com//video/rantbo/Sssshhhhh!!!!!! Stallone is acting! (2:27) http://www.rantdog.com//video/rantbo/http://www.rantdog.com//video/the-positive-patch/Twitch's new and improved truth in advertising. (1:47) http://www.rantdog.com//video/the-positive-patch/http://www.rantdog.com//video/wile-e-jackass/Wanna be famous? (2:15) http://www.rantdog.com//video/wile-e-jackass/http://www.rantdog.com//video/dont-school-me/No scammin' ma bitches. (3:45) http://www.rantdog.com//video/dont-school-me/http://www.rantdog.com//video/deal-or-no-deal-or-not/Howie, I choose briefcase #13. I think. (2:23) http://www.rantdog.com//video/deal-or-no-deal-or-not/http://www.rantdog.com//video/doggie-style/That's complicated! (2:22) http://www.rantdog.com//video/doggie-style/http://www.rantdog.com//video/video-dating/For an enlightened good time call ...... (3:30) http://www.rantdog.com//video/video-dating/http://www.rantdog.com//video/evil-bird-flu-fever/C'mere 'n kish me. Atschoo! (1:43) http://www.rantdog.com//video/evil-bird-flu-fever/http://www.rantdog.com//video/the-egg/No! Don't! Maybe.... (1:36) http://www.rantdog.com//video/the-egg/http://www.rantdog.com//video/its-a-chick-thing/Why don't girls like fart jokes? (1:23) Part One of The Video http://www.rantdog.com//video/its-a-chick-thing/http://www.rantdog.com//video/i-hate-you/Political commentary from the gut. (1:36) Part Two of The Video http://www.rantdog.com//video/i-hate-you/http://www.rantdog.com//video/its-a-guy-thing/Smash hates Rantdog. She really does. (1:36) Part Three of The Video http://www.rantdog.com//video/its-a-guy-thing/http://www.rantdog.com//video/talk-to-the-hand/What's with the stumps? (1:37) Part Four (final) of The Video http://www.rantdog.com//video/talk-to-the-hand/http://www.rantdog.com//video/save-the-polar-bear/I'll help you, Mother Nature. (1:55) http://www.rantdog.com//video/save-the-polar-bear/http://www.rantdog.com//video/old-growth-ass-wipe/Twitch is out of TP. (1:44) Part One of Ass Wipe http://www.rantdog.com//video/old-growth-ass-wipe/http://www.rantdog.com//video/mother-earth-has-big-boobs/A press conference in a bathroom. (1:39) Part Two of Ass Wipe http://www.rantdog.com//video/mother-earth-has-big-boobs/http://www.rantdog.com//video/new-improved-ass-wipe/It happens. It floats. (1:33) Part Three (final) of Ass Wipe http://www.rantdog.com//video/new-improved-ass-wipe/http://www.rantdog.com//video/6399-xmas-special/Smite those abominations! The origins of Rantdog. (3:30) http://www.rantdog.com//video/6399-xmas-special/http://www.rantdog.com//video/thanksgiving-usa/Rantdog, Smash and Twitch vs Turkeyzilla (3:13) http://www.rantdog.com//video/thanksgiving-usa/http://www.rantdog.com//video/thanksgiving-canada/Even vegetarians can enjoy Thanksgiving. (1:46) http://www.rantdog.com//video/thanksgiving-canada/http://www.rantdog.com//video/oooooh-its-halloween/Scarey monsters. (1:42) http://www.rantdog.com//video/oooooh-its-halloween/http://www.rantdog.com//video/land-of-the-dead/Mmuusstt eeeaaattt bbbbrrrraaaaiiiinnnnssss. (2:55) http://www.rantdog.com//video/land-of-the-dead/http://www.rantdog.com//video/rantface-the-balls-is-yours/Say hello to my little friends. (1:39) http://www.rantdog.com//video/rantface-the-balls-is-yours/http://www.rantdog.com//video/machinima-god-of-pong/Is there a god? (3:07) http://www.rantdog.com//video/machinima-god-of-pong/http://www.rantdog.com//video/from-russia-with-love/Does this Xbox game shake or stir Rantdog? (2:51) http://www.rantdog.com//video/from-russia-with-love/http://www.rantdog.com//video/blackout/Cold pizza sucks! (4:17) http://www.rantdog.com//video/blackout/http://www.rantdog.com//video/ismell/Twitch will be rich! (1:44) http://www.rantdog.com//video/ismell/http://www.rantdog.com//video/apocalypse-cow/Cow-based videogame entertainment (1:25) #1 of Suicide Cows http://www.rantdog.com//video/apocalypse-cow/http://www.rantdog.com//video/bovine-bastards/No, don't shoot! It doesn't..... (1:40) #2 of Suicide Cows http://www.rantdog.com//video/bovine-bastards/http://www.rantdog.com//video/weapons-of-moos-destruction/Oh, no, it's plaid alert! (1:22) #3 (final) of Suicide Cows http://www.rantdog.com//video/weapons-of-moos-destruction/