Rantings Of The Lazy Iguana

The Week

2009-11-02T20:28:00.003-05:00

It seems I finally got a week with more than one day off. For the past couple of weeks all I had off was Sunday. Every other day was a work day. Not so bad really - but having only Sunday off every week presents interesting problems.

Like the nasty gram I got from Florida. Something about my license being up for suspension on the 17th unless I do something. So this means going to another county, going to a court house, producing some documents proving the computer records the state already has are true, paying $60, and then going home.

All to prove some computer records are true. Amazing huh?

But that is not so bad. Ill have time to get it done tomorrow.

That is if this does not happen again.

So here I was, driving home minding my own business. And then I hit something. Maybe I kissed a concrete construction barrier, maybe there was something in the road. To be honest I am not sure. But the end result was a massive and sudden tire failure. The people at the Sears auto center said it could not be patched.

And the rim is apparently bent. So right now the spare tire rim is in use on the drivers side front side. There also seems to be damage to the drivers side rear rim, but the truck seems to be driving OK. No shakes. I still have to get to a tire place and have the other wheel put on a balance machine. Ill be able to get that done tomorrow too.

The good thing here is that there is no other damage to the vehicle. Or anything else.

Week Almost Over

2009-10-22T20:34:00.002-04:00

Things are still going fairly well. The long work weeks do not seem to be having much of an effect. At least I do not feel like they are having an effect. I just show up, hang out for however many hours, then go home. But not directly home. I go hang out first.

As a result, I spend less time at home than anywhere else. And more time at work than anywhere else.

But no matter. It is all good. Work is not exactly difficult.

And now for the good part. The "health plan". Work offers a "plan" that pays me directly. Sounds good on the surface - but it really sucks. It is not much of a plan at all. If you happen to already have insurance, then it would be cool. You would get paid more than enough to cover most out of pocket expenses.

But if all you can afford is the work plan, it sucks. You see - if you need treatment you have to go to a hospital as a self pay patient. Meaning you are charged the highest rates. So the $750 per day you get paid for intensive care will pay maybe 1/2 of the cost - which means you pay the rest. But if you have existing insurance where your co-payment is say $500 per day for intensive care, you will get enough from the other plan to cover that.

On what I am being paid - there is not really a good way to afford an actual insurance plan.

So I do not know what I will do. I am thinking of taking some of the coverage - but not all of it. I can pick and choose what I want. I am still calculating the cost/benefit thing.

Other than that - this weekend is another sailboat race. I think I will be involved in this somehow. So that is how most of my day off will be squandered. Either on the power boat or on the Waverunner - doing sailboat race support stuff.

Not a bad way to end the week really.

1/2 Day Off

2009-10-21T10:14:00.003-04:00

So today is my 1/2 day off. Meaning of course that I only have to show up for 6 hours, as opposed to 12.

It is not so bad really. I have time to do shit. I do not have to be anywhere till after noon. So I can squander my 1/2 day by sleeping, or I can arise at the usual time and really get shit done.

Or I can split the difference. Sleep in a little bit then still do something.

Today I was supposed to pay a ticket. But this involves driving all the way to Broward County. I can not do this shit over the phone, the bastards in Broward County are too stone age to manage that. They are so stone age they make Fred Flintstone's record player seem like a blu-ray DVD player.

You see, the ticket is for not having a "valid registration". Which is bullshit. There are these things called "computers". Using one of these devices, one can easily run a vehicle tag and drivers license info and the magical device will tell you things. Like if the tag is in fact valid, if the tag belongs to the vehicle, if the tag is stolen, and if the tag tax sticker (and vehicle registration) is valid.

It was.

But I still have to go in person and show them the stone age slip of paper to prove what is in the computer is correct.

And now pay a late fine. Because I sort of forgot about the whole mess.

I was to take care of that today - but screw it. Since I already owe the late fine I might as well just milk it. Hell I can put it off till I have to renew my registration - in January.

TAKE THAT BROWARD COUNTY!! Wait in line for your money. Trust me, you at the bottom of a long list. Well really the list is not so long, but you are still at the bottom of it. You will be the LAST to get the money. If there is any left after all the higher priorties are taken care of, then consider yourself lucky.

Your gestapo like force can not touch me here. I am safely outside the limits of Broward County. SO THERE! HA! Patrol your streets all you want - I shall not be there. I will taunt you from the Dade County side of the border however. Whats the matter?? Cop cant cross the street to arrest me without mommys premission?? AWWWWW! Aint that sweet!

Any nightsticks you throw will be kept by me. Ill sell them on e-bay and the proceedes will go to pay the fine. OH WAIT! That was a lie! Any proceedes will be used to pay off things higher up on the list! Like for example going to see a movie!

Yes Broward County, movies are higher on the list. When I said you were at the bottom - I meant it. I will put this off for as long as possible.

As for my schedule - I have expenses. And I assumed more expenses. So I will need to keep working extra overtime. 6 day weeks may become normal for me. I may even have to see what 7 day weeks are like. Burnout risk is minimal, as it turns out the job is not really that difficult. boring sometimes - but not difficult. And on top of that I have to do what I have to do in order to make various financial situations work out.

The problem is that right now overtime is free for the taking. I can get as much as I want. So what happens when I get used to the overtime bonus and then the overtime dries up because more staff are brought in? Well Ill cross that bridge when I get there.

Ill have to either inquire about getting paid more or else seriously consider packing up and moving on to somewhere else that offers more. Various things are happening here, and they will happen rather quickly. Using newly accuired experience in the right manner could work out nicely. But if I screw up and choose the wrong path - well I could screw myself.

So like the giant squid, I shall reach my tenticles out into the inky blackness. Feeling around for stuff. Plotting. Calculating.

But for now the 1/2 day off is only about 1/2 over.

Master Of Overtime

2009-10-15T21:03:00.002-04:00

I am the master of overtime. Next week I nabbed 24 more hours. And there will be more. It all depends on what I want to do.

Which is not really a bad deal. The extra money is good I suppose. And by working so long, in theory there is less time to spend money.

Of course that is pure theory. And not exactly true.

And really I have nothing else better to do.

But the week after next week will be different! I have better things to do. Something about using the Waverunner Sunday, to kick off my three day weekend.

Yes three day weekend. Every week is a three day weekend, assuming I do not get greedy and exchange a day off for money. Which I have been doing.

And this is a bit strange. You will notice I scored high on "greed" and very high on "sloth" on the seven deadly sins test. But it seems to me that the two sins are in conflict. Sloth makes me not really want to work the overtime. Too much effort. To hell with it, just sleep in late.

But the greed gives me motivation to work extra time.

There will be much time for sloth later however. Right now I need the greed a lot more.

Not My Job

2009-10-12T23:20:00.001-04:00

This is an actual photo from work.

It is not my job to do anything about it.

72

2009-10-11T22:20:00.002-04:00

Seventy two. The number of the week.

It is the number of hours I am scheduled for at work this week. This works out to six shifts, each one lasting for twelve hours.

My normal week consists of a 42 hour week. One six hour stint, then three twelve hour shifts. So the 72 hour schedule is really not so bad all things considered. Two days off become days on, and then my 1/2 day becomes a full day. That is all it takes.

And I also get an extra 30 hours of overtime. This is nice.

Things at work are starting to come together. Operations are still not at 100%, but they will be soon. There will be more opportunities for overtime. I do not know for how much longer, but they will be there at least for the short term. So I suppose Ill grab it while I can get it. Strike while the iron is hot. And so on.

It will be a long week, but a good week.

Alleged Days Off

2009-10-06T23:58:00.002-04:00

This week I had one actual day off and two alleged days off.

But how is this possible? It is only Wednesday! And this is true. But you see I never have a normal job schedule. Never happens. So my day off was Sunday! Monday and Tuesday were also days off.

Only I was called in Monday and Tuesday. Hey no big deal. I was just going to piss the days off anyway. So might as well get called in for extra money.

But I made the best of the deal. I was out on the bay Sunday. On the Waverunner. That was nice.

Today is my first regular day on. And I have to go in early. You know what that means! MORE OVERTIME!!

Hey like I said - works for me. I am making myself useful as part of the team. Helping out the department. And so on.

And making some extra money as a side benefit.

All things considered, it is all working out OK.

In a side note, I have to HAVE TO get a ticket cleared up. I must remember to do this. It is of a very high level of importance.

But first I need a weekday off.

What To Do

2009-10-04T20:06:00.002-04:00

Work has me fairly busy. There are 12 hour shifts. Well one shift is only 6 hours, but there are three 12 hour shifts in a week. It is only 42 hours total - not so bad really. But the distribution is a little non-standard. Three days back to back of 12 on 12 off, then one day with 6 hours.

The nice thing is the three days off.

When there are three days off. Right now things are slightly frantic so I have to go in for 2 of my days off. No big deal, it is just more overtime. I am sure I can find something to do with the extra money. I have a couple of ideas already.

The extra days on will only be 1/2 days, so I will get out in the early afternoon. Ill be able to get things done, because I will not be able to get lazy and sleep in late.

Oh yea, one more thing about the 12 on 12 off thing. It is a little bit strange. When I get ready to leave, certain people show up to start work. This is normal when you do shift work.

But when the same people are still there when you are showing up, it throws you off. It feels like you never really left for long. Almost like you just left for lunch or something.

And then there is the time warp thing. You have to really budget your time well. You have 12 hours before you have to be at work again. OK - what now?

Well lets say you want 6 hours of sleep. OK now you have 6 hours left. But at least 1.5 of those hours are for waking up, getting dressed, teeth brushing, and driving to work. Lets throw in another .5 hours for a shower (it does not take that long but whatever).

Now we are down to 4 hours.

What if you want more time? Well you have to take away from somewhere else.

But I am not complaining. Far from it. I seem to be doing OK with things the way they are now. At least as far as the complexities of shift work go.

Things I Will NOT Do

2009-09-29T00:52:00.002-04:00

Twitter. Or Tweet. Or whatever the hell the act of posting a minute by minute account of your entire day on Twitter is called.

I will not do it.

It really amazes me what people will post on that site. They will even use their real photo! A really bad idea.

Really. If you are a hot chick, this is a BAD idea. You are aware there are these things called "stalkers" out there right? And if you say "I am at the bar on 5th and Main" guess what a stalker can do?

Plus, my life is really not that interesting. Here would be a typical Twitter day for me.

I am awake.
I am taking my morning dump
I am taking a shower
I am driving to work.
I am at work
I am on break at work
I am leaving work
I am home
I am taking my after work dump

Wow! A really exciting day there huh? I am sure millions of people worldwide care.

But aside from that, I just do not care to post constant updates. I fail to see the point. Now maybe I am missing the point - this is possible. Maybe you think Twitter is great. If so then it is great - for you.

But it is not for me.

What cracks me up the most are the obvious attempts by some to use Twitter to make themselves seem cool, hip, or "in touch". Please - stop this attempt. Nobody is buying it. You look like a clown. So if you are some old fuddy-duddy Congress Critter, just stop it. Tell the staffer that convinced you this was a good idea to come up with another idea. You are not appearing any more "in touch" or "hip" or "cool".

But there is at least one good use for Twitter. I know this girl who has stalker problems. I suggested to her that she sign up for Twitter, and somehow let the stalker(s) know this. Then when she wants to go to club A she can Twitter that she is going to bar X somewhere far away from club A.

Brilliant huh? I thought so!

Cat Poem Monday

2009-09-28T03:25:00.003-04:00

This is Skipper.
He is not at the vet.
But he is still pissed off,
Because he is stuck in a net!

UPDATE - Skipper did escape from the net. He was only stuck in it for a little bit.

Projects

2009-09-27T00:11:00.003-04:00

Today will be a productive day.

I think. The boat needs some work done to it. And there is no time like the present! This is mainly because the new job situation is probably going to result in a screwy and unpredictable schedule. For now anyway. So while I have the time I should use it to get some shit done!

First up is resolving the fuel alarm. Last time I was out the port tank was running low, so I opened the valve for the starboard fuel tank. Then a couple of minutes later I get an alarm. A fuel alarm. Attached to the engine is a water separating fuel filter. This is the source of said alarm. There is a float switch in the filter, and when water gets in it the float switch trips sounding the alarm. I was able to keep doing my thing, but I do need to figure out what the hell is going on. I have the new filter. I am hoping that the problem is NOT phase separation! That would be bad. But I think the gas I have in the boat is not that E-10 shit, so I should be OK. Remove the fuel filter on the engine, dump the contents into a jar for a visual inspection, hope there is not signs of ethanol phase separation going on, put the new filter on, then dump the contents of the external fuel filter into a jar, visually inspect it, hope there is no signs of phase separation going on, then haul the boat off to ye ole filling station to top off the tanks. And while I am at it add the usual fuel treatments I use.

Keeping the tanks full is the best way to prevent water in the fuel. I know this - but I got lazy.

And then there is problem 2. This is my cool custom made cooler rack that is installed in the splash well.

Pretty nifty huh? Notice how it holds the cooler. I like this set up because the cooler is never in the way.

Well this is what the cooler rack looks like now.

Notice the slight difference. What happened was a little bit of shitty engineering. The previous owner designed and built the cooler rack. That was pure genius. The splash well is wasted space, so it was put to excellent use. The cooler lives back there, leaving the deck 100% free and clear.

But as cool as the idea was, and as good as the design was - the guy used screws to hold it in place. This was not the best idea in the world. A cooler, loaded with ice and beer and whatever else is in it, is heavy. The boat rides well but it still pounds a little bit in waves. Well the last time I was out I hit some wake and landed a bit hard. The screws pulled out of the fiberglass and the cooler rack was down. Nothing was really damaged, but it needs to be fixed anyway.

My solution is going to be BOLTS! Not screws. I will use stainless steel bolts, large washers, and self locking nuts. I might even put in a backing plate and washers - but I do not think the backing plate will be needed.

What the washers and/or backing plate will do is distribute the force exerted by the weight of the cooler over a larger area of fiberglass. The end result will be much stronger than screws.

In addition, the tarp over the boat got ripped up in a rain storm a few weeks ago. It needs to be replaced too. I have the tarp, I just need to get it strung up.

Then the project will be over, and the boat will be ready for use again.

Work Saga

2009-09-25T13:48:00.002-04:00

The new line of work is going OK. I suppose.

I got some special advanced secret training today, so now I have an idea of what some of my duties may include.

Or not. Nothing is yet set in stone. But it seems to me that if I was selected for some training that not everyone got, then that must mean something.

It still remains to be seen what my duty hours will be. Will I get the night shift and resume my zombie hours? Will I ever see the sun again? Will I show up to work as the day is ending for everyone else, and get home when the day is just starting for everyone else?

Well that may not be so horrible. Some people can handle the night shift, some can't. Truth be known I am one of those who CAN sleep all day and do other stuff all night.

But the flip side of this coin is that I have had night shifts before. I love the working hours - but you really do turn into a zombie. Even on your days off you keep zombie hours. You find it difficult to do seemingly simple things, like go to the bank. The darn bank closes before you wake up and opens up after you are asleep. If you need to buy something, good luck. You find that the stores close around the time you really want to roll out. 9 PM suddenly seems "early". 8 AM is "late".

Your life really is turned upside down. You become a creature of the night - seeking the darkness and shunning the sunlight. You never get to see your day shift friends, because they are all saying "it is late and I am tired" when you are just waking up!

And do not even get me started on weekends! You do not have any. Lets say you work on Saturday and get Sunday off. OK great! Sunday off huh? Well not exactly. See you show up to work at say 10 PM SATURDAY. Then you are let off at 8 AM or 10 AM SUNDAY - assuming a 10 or 12 hour shift. If you are working 8 hours then you get off at 6 AM.

But still - it really does not matter what your hours are. The point is you get out Sunday MORNING. Good luck getting anything done. You will go home, eat "dinner" - maybe have an after work beer (at 9 AM) then crash. You wake up on your "day off" sometime later that afternoon. After the day is over.

And lets say you work Monday - Friday. OK great. You show up Friday night, get off Saturday morning. Then you sleep all day Saturday (pissed that day away) - which of course means you are awake all night. Not such a bad thing really - there are lots of things to do Saturday night. But then you sleep all day Sunday and are up all night again - so that Monday you sleep all day to work all night.

And so on. The best case in this situation is that you work Sunday and have Saturday and Friday off. Then you get out of work Friday morning and force yourself to stay awake. Friday evening you are tired so you sleep. Then you can get up at a reasonable time Saturday for some sun time. I would be able to do things like use the boat and/or Waverunner. Or just hang out with day shift people. Have a beer at a reasonable hour of the day where people do not look at you like you are mad because you want to drink at 8 AM. HEY! I was working all freaking night! It is 8 AM to you but it is 8 PM to me! So lay off and give me a damn beer OK!?!?!? What the hell do you mean the bar is closed?

You daytime people NEED people like me. People like me keep the world functioning while you sleep. We are the guardians of the night, watching over the planet while all the normal people slumber. And then how do you pay us back? By mowing your lawn at 11 AM.

But the chance still remains of a day shift. The stuff I learned today happens over a transitional period. It starts during the night shift, but then gets passed off to the day shift. So maybe I will get to be "normal" and arrive to work in the morning.

This also presents interesting problems. For one, I become a rat stuck in the great race to nowhere. I so love morning hush hour traffic! Nothing says "what a pleasant morning this is" like being stuck in horrible traffic with tens of thousands of other angry people. But I believe the morning shift would actually require me to be on the clock at about the same time morning rush hour starts to build. I would actually leave the house BEFORE things stacked up, which should put me in clear traffic all the way to work. This is good.

But am I really a day shift person? Sure, I can adapt. Anyone can adapt to anything if they have to. It is part of the whole evolution thing. The world throws a problem at you - you either adapt or die. So yea, I could survive on a day shift. It would actually allow me to be far more normal. My days off would truly be "days off". I would still get up in the morning, leaving me all day to get something done.

But all this is moot really. I will get whatever I get. I can not do anything about it one way or the other.

Adapt or die.

Blog Update

2009-09-23T00:40:00.002-04:00

It seems that I have gone for some time without a blog update! This is not good.

But the truth is not a whole lot is going on. I have no funny new job stories yet. And really, even if I did I would probably not post them out of concern of blowing my secret identity. I have read many blogs where the author disclosed their real identity, and it usually ends up bad. Some crazy shit happens. People have been shit canned over a blog. People have made the newspaper over a blog. And so on.

One has to be careful. Google is your friend, but it can also be your enemy.

Summer must be over. I can tell this not so much by the weather, but by the Samuel Adams seasonal beer selection. Oktoberfest beer is out. If you go to a bar with Sam Adams seasonal beer on tap, it will be Oktoberfest. Not that this is bad - but for my taste the Sam Adams Oktoberfest beer is not my style. Too malty.

In other news, I picked up a 12 pack of Shipyard sampler. It came with three Summer Ales, three Pale Ales, three India Pale Ales, and three Export Ales. The pale ale seems to be my favorite so far.

But I like the Sierra Nevada selections better than Shipyard.

Last time I went out in the boat it was somewhat exciting. First I had a fuel alarm go off. Attached to the engine is a special fuel filter that catches water that may be in the tank. Apparently there is water in this filter, which caused the alarm to go off. So now I need a new fuel filter. I probably also should put on another filter I bought some time ago but never got around to installing. A Racor water separating filter. It has a clear bottom that will allow me to see what kind of crud might be in the fuel tank.

But that is not all. In the splash well there is a nifty custom made platform that holds my cooler. Apparently the guy who made it just screwed it in place. Well it collapsed on me. The screws pulled right out of the fiberglass. Now I think that the proper way to install the thing is to through bolt it using a backing plate and washers and shit. So I will look into doing just that. I have a feeling it will be a pain in the ass however. I know that I have to pull the batteries. And then depending on where the bolts will be at, the battery cables, battery selector switch, and/or fuel lines MIGHT get in the way. This would suck.

Oh yea, the deep cycle battery is also on its way out. Great huh?

But such things should be expected. I knew that the battery would not last forever. It is about time to replace it anyway. It is at least three years old. The fuel filter is supposed to be replaced yearly, I got two years out of the one I have now.

So it is a good thing work is going to ramp up. I need more of it. A higher wage too. I am hoping that internal opportunities will open up at the new job. But we shall see what happens. Ill keep my tentacles out there and go with the highest bidder for my labor. Nothing personal against any single employer - but capitalism is capitalism! It is all about business. If I can make a buck an hour more somewhere else, I will go somewhere else. I need the money. And I know I am not alone here.

But as we all know, jobs are growing on trees right now. So I am sure other offers will just pour in. Note the sarcasm there.

Week Outlook!

2009-09-14T19:00:00.002-04:00

I secretly always wanted to be a weather forecaster. I still do really. It seems like a pretty sweet job. You just guess about what is going on and what will happen as a result. And if you are wrong? No big deal! Hey - I said 20% chance of rain! So it rained on your day at the park - tough luck being in that 20%!

And if I say "the hurricane will hit Tampa Bay" and it actually hits Port Charlotte, IT WOBBLED!!! Not my fault there! You knew you were in the cone, should have taken proper action!

So pretty much you get paid and it does not matter if you are right or wrong. As long as you say something that properly covers your ass.

Anyhow the outlook for this week seems to be OK. I am still shaking this slight cold I managed to pick up on Thursday / Friday. Or maybe Wednesday? Who knows. I started to feel crappy Thursday, Friday I was worse, Saturday I felt a little better, Sunday was OK except for a spell in the early afternoon when I almost blacked out. I am better now.

In addition, there are new jobs afoot. Training has already started. In a couple of days I will be fully trained to do something. Then I do it. Pretty simple stuff really. They tell me to do something, I do it, I report back when it is done or why it was not possible to get it done given the resources I had at my disposal (along with what additional resources / time I think I need to get the thing done).

Everything should be OK. In theory.

New Policies

2009-09-12T00:04:00.000-04:00

I start a new job sometime. Exactly when is a mystery.

You see, I actually read stuff given to me. And even though I do not know why - I have a fair amount of common sense.

I asked for - and was given - a handbook of general policies. Policies are good to know - so you do not get in needless trouble.

What was of the most interest to me was the internet policies. This place has a fairly uniform and not at all uncommon internet policy. No using company computers for unauthorized stuff and so on. Not a big deal.

But this is not all. It is also common for companies to restrict personal computer use while off duty. Namely - blogging. They do not care if someone has a blog, you just can not say that the company sucks on it. They also frown on opinions that an employee has that are contrary to company policy or company operations.

People HAVE been fired for personal blogs.

This is why it is mostly a good idea to remain anonymous online. And I do this. I refrain from posting photos of myself here, and I will not mention any employer.

I think this is a good idea. Stay anonymous, and nobody can pin anything on me. No proof means I did not do it.

And it is also the fair thing to do - for everyone involved.

Today

2009-09-11T00:52:00.002-04:00

Today is the day. I think everyone knows what I mean here.

But today is a strange day. It is across between Memorial Day and a regular work day. Sure there are ceremonies and memorials that take place, but at the same time it is business as usual.

I find this sort of strange.

At the very least, I would like to see the nation come to a halt for a minute or two at the times the planes crashed. Stop the cash registers, stop the sales pitch, and so on. Only for a couple of minutes. I would also like to see radio stations announce the times, so that drivers can stop and get out of their cars. Inside your car you are inside a private world - disconnected from all other humans. Outside of your car you are part of a group of people again. Much like the nation was 8 years ago today. All for one, one for all.

But I do not know if this will ever happen.

Public Service Announcement

2009-09-04T15:16:00.002-04:00

The last long weekend of the summer is here.

Well not for me. Technically I still have more summer left. The water in the bay does not start to cool down till October. For me, the "end" of summer is actually Columbus Day weekend. And the super massive boat party that takes place.

But that is not important.

What IS important is that AAA is once again offering its popular "Tow To Go" program. It is very simple.

Should you get stewed, you can call AAA and they will arrange for a tow truck to come to your aid. You get towed home for free, and you also get a free ride home.

And best of all - you do not go to jail!

Works out great huh?

As of now, this program is available in Florida, and a good deal of the Southeast including Nashville and Atlanta. But it may be going on in your area too.

You do not need to be a AAA member to use this free service. All you need to be is drunk.

The service is being offered NOW through Monday. So if you are boozing and live in an area served by this or a similar program - no need to be cruising!

Just call 1-800-AAA-HELP. Then using your best drunken slur, try to tell the nice person on the phone exactly where you are. If you need to, ask the bartender for help - chances are your bartender knows where he/she is. Then the tow truck comes, and you wake up at your home wearing shoes but not any pants.

Try to figure that one out! You had to remove your shoes to get your pants off right? So why then put the shoes back on? Did you decide to take a drunken walk in the buff? Did you maybe have a good time that you can not remember? Who knows. It shall always remain a mystery.

So remember, call 1-800-AAA-HELP. It beats calling the bail bondsman.

Thursday Already?

2009-09-03T02:21:00.002-04:00

WOW! A whole lot of days passed with no posts!

I blame Meowcenaries. It is a good game. I passed the first level, and I am working on the desert level now. The Super Kittanks are tough.

Other than that - there is not really much going on. There is a tropical storm out there somewhere, but it will not effect things here. In fact it is very weak and is not projected to really do anything. Conditions are not at all favorable for the storm. By this evening it may even be downgraded to a depression. The experts have it dissipated by Sunday - they say it will not even be a rain maker after that.

So much for Tropical Storm Erika. So far the sexiest name of any storm I can remember, but it will be short lived.

A three day weekend is approaching! I like these. Sort of. The water ways will be clogged. Lots of people seem to think that summer is over. I never understood this. THIS IS SOUTH FLORIDA! Summer never really ends - it just gets not as hot. Even in December the beating weather is usually decent. Really.

But still, there will be a lot of traffic. So if I want to go out Ill have to put the boat in the water in advance, and leave it tied up at the boat club. This way I avoid the public ramp craziness.

Or just not go out this weekend, and wait for next weekend. The water will still be warm - only there will be less people out.

Cool Shit

2009-08-31T00:04:00.000-04:00

First up - I found some good shit! Sierra Nevada 2009 Anniversary Ale. For 2009, they whipped up a lovely IPA featuring Cascade hops grown in a sustainable manner. Sustainable is good, because running out of hops would so totally suck.

If you can find any, grab it while you can!

In other news, NEW FREE GAMES! Yes new FREE games!

First up, Meowcenaries. You lead an elite team of kittens, who are out to rescue the President from the Evilcat. Along the way, you have to kill a lot of kitten Badcatz. And find all the hidden Cheezburgers. Hours of fun there.

But maybe you are up for some strategy based games. Well in this case you want...HRmageddon. Two companies merge - only one team of employees is needed. So of course, you and your team of co-workers has to take over the office OR ELSE GET FIRED! You take over the office by either killing everyone else, or occupying the cubicles.

And then there is Dungeons And Dungeons. The King and Queen of Kink present a night of extreme pleasure and pain. The object is for you and some sort of gimp to get through each level. You have to use various kinky weapons to destroy your enemies.

There are a bunch more cool, creative, and fun games here. All free. No spyware bullshit either.

This should get you all through this week. I do not know about next week however.

Unlicensed Song Thursday

2009-08-27T02:30:00.003-04:00

Enjoy the unlicensed song! Also if you are some sort of lawyer please note I am NOT hosting the song. I simply embedded it from You Tube, where someone else uploaded it.

So no nasty threatening letters please.

I kind of like it.

In other news, I went to see a movie. Ponyo. This is a cute really nice date movie. The movie was released in the US by Disney, but was originally made in Japan. The animation is all in the Japanese style. I enjoyed it.

Ponyo is only playing at select AMC theaters, and apparently has a $0 advertising budget. This is odd considering it is a Disney release. Disney is really good at marketing and promotion - and they really like to make money. But this movie is not really being pushed much.

But like I said this one is a good date movie. A classic tale. Goldfish meets boy, boy and goldfish fall in love, some nutty stuff happens, and nobody gets turned into sushi.

The Next Storm

2009-08-26T02:19:00.003-04:00

Well it is not named yet, but it will be soon. Just wait. I think that by the 5 PM update today, it will be a tropical storm.

The news people are saying that the strom is expected to take a path similar to that of Bill, and therefore Florida will not be in the cone.

There is only one problem with that. Well TWO problems with that.

Problem 1 is that the area of disturbed weather soon to be Tropical Storm Danny is close to The Bahamas, moving west-northwest at 20 mph. Since it is going more west than north, if it is going to remain at sea it better turn quick. But it is moving at 20 mph, so how fast can it actually turn? Who knows.

Problem 2 is the radio station I was listening to is 610 AM. This Clear Channel station carries Fox "News" and all right wing rabid hysterical programming. Except for Coast To Coast AM after midnight, in case you want to hear the latest on bigfoot and aliens and shit.

Even the traffic reports on that station are frequently incorrect or incomplete.

So most of the time, all you hear on 610 is bullshit.

Now the as of now unnamed storm may remain at sea. And Florida may never be in the cone. But who knows.

All that can be done is to watch and see what happens.

There is supposed to be a sailboat race this weekend. I am supposed to act as a support / safety boat for the race. The sailboats might finish the race really fast!

UPDATE!!

As of 0800 EDT, the speed of the storm has slowed to about 15 mph, down from 20 mph earlier. A Hurricane Hunter aircraft is en route to check it out, when the aircraft gets there it could be upgraded to a depression or maybe a storm. The direction of movement is still west northwest.

But if the forward speed is slowing down - it could mean it is trying to turn. If it turns it will be taken out to sea.

The truth is nobody can really say where this thing is heading, or even if it will make it to a storm.

Research Results

2009-08-24T01:58:00.003-04:00

My research on the possible trip to Brazil leads me to suspect that they do not really speak a lot of English. Sure you can find people that speak English in the big fancy hotels and in the hot tourist areas. And I might stay mostly in these areas. The big cities can be very dangerous if you venture into the wrong area, so when in a big city Ill have to be careful.

But even in the safe areas of the big cities, the average person you meet on the street may not speak English. This could make ordering a beer somewhat difficult.

So I will need to learn some Portuguese. I am thinking Ill need to obtain a copy of Rosetta Stone. Maybe. That program is somewhat expensive. Maybe I can find someone who has a copy?

Anyone have a copy of Rosetta Stone Portuguese (Brazil)? Please note that Portugal Portuguese is not the same as Brazil Portuguese.

My research also indicates all I need to to to have a phone is obtain a SIM card for my phone. Supposedly, my phone is a "world band" model that can use any GSM network. I think I can also have it unlocked to work on a CDMA network. If I get a prepaid SIM card that allows for data access, my Google Maps will work - so the phone is also a GPS. Handy for finding your away around when you have no idea where the hell you are.

I will also need a travel visa. Brazil has a "you do it to us we do it to you" immigration policy. This means that as a US citizen, they charge me whatever the US charges a Brazilian citizen who wants to travel to the USA. In this case, that amounts to $130. The Brazilian Consulate will determine how long my visa is good for. It could be as short as 6 months, or as long as 5 years.

Further research also indicates that I should not really bring much with me. Lots of places suggest you pack really light, and shop for more clothes once you get there. Domestic clothing brands are really cheap and of good quality - but more importantly you do not like some idiot tourist. As easily as I can play "spot the old French Canadian" during the winter in Florida, people in Brazil can play "spot the gringo". So to as not draw any more attention to my dumb ass (Ill be the guy constantly using his phone GPS to find his way around, and ordering a cold beer like I just had 3/4 of my brain removed including 100% of the speech processing center), I should get some Brazil clothing.

This probably means a Speedo for the beach. I promise not to wear it when I get back, unless it turns out I look really good in a Speedo.

Oh yea - the beer! Brazil seems to have some decent beer. They have a lot of German style beers. They drink the stuff ice cold - as close to freezing as possible without the beer turning into ice.

I do not yet know the proper way to say "beer" in Brazil Portugese. I will need to do something about this.

Tipping for food service is accomplished by adding 10% to your bill. This is all the tip the locals will pay. It is not necessary to add any more.

One Brazillian Real = $0.546 US dollars. The best exchange rates can be found at the national bank. So Ill only exchange a little bit of money at the airport before I leave.

That is if I leave. I am still in the research phase. But really, the idea seems like a better and better one as time passes.

If I go, the trip will be in November. This is the "off" time and so airfare is generally cheaper than other times.

South Of The Equator

2009-08-23T03:15:00.002-04:00

So I may have this chance to go to Brazil. It is not a totally done deal yet, but I am working on it. I am in the research phase.

A friend of mine is having a wedding party there. His wife's family live there This means there will be a party of some sort. And the party will be in a smaller town, in Brazil's wine country. Up in the mountains.

The general idea so far is I would fly form Miami to Rio de Janeiro. I think this means "River Of Janeiro". Or something like that.

From Rio I would have to Porto Alegre, which is in the south of Brazil. Close to Argentina actually. And from there it would be a land trek to wherever the party is to be at.

I would not get to see the Amazon River - unless the skies are clear when I fly over it. Assuming that the jet does not arrive to Rio from sea - which it probably will.

I might need to get a Yellow Fever shot. And I might also have to get the swine flu shot. Or something like that. When I get the travel visa Ill have to ask the Brazilian Consulate what the hell is up with that shit.

Malaria - the souvenir you never forget. Got to love it.

And there is more! Since most of Brazil lies south of the equator, the night sky is totally different. Seasons are reversed (when it is winter in the north it is summer in the south), but that is not all that is inverted. The moon appears to be inverted too. So do all the constellations visible from both hemispheres. Also, the winter constellations become summer constellations.

The circumpolar constellations (the constellations you can see year round - like the Big Dipper) are not visible at all. The southern hemisphere has its own set of circumpolar constellations which can not be seen north of the equator.

There is also a chance I would be far enough south to see the Southern Lights. That would be ass kicking cool.

Also, in Brazil booze is not taxed - and it is cheap as shit. The whole country runs on alcohol. Literally. They do not use gas in cars down there, vehicles run on booze. E85 is common, and there are even many stations selling all alcohol fuel. Or as I like to call it - Vodka. I am sure they denature it or something so you can not drink it.

I would probably bring back a lot of booze. US Customs will let me bring so much back for free - I think 5 or so bottles. Anything over that and I would have to declare it and pay the duty. No big deal. Even with a duty of a couple of bucks per bottle it would still be cheap. And many times as long as you declare what you have, and you are not bringing back hundreds of gallons - they do not care. if you try to hide it then get busted - they DO care. So just declare everything.

The research phase continues.

To The Asshole On SR 836....You Know Who You Are

2009-08-22T02:36:00.004-04:00

You are the pecker wood that almost hit me. I can understand you might not be able to see a BIG FUCKING RED TRUCK. Maybe I should be in a Cooper Mini - you might notice that better.

I was in the far left lane. Hanging out. Minding my own business. I was not zipping from one lane to the next, I do not roll that way. If I can move I do - if traffic is too heavy I just pick a lane and STAY THERE unless I have a darn good reason to get out of it. Such as my exit is approaching, or the lane is blocked off for construction or something.

And when I do change lanes - I use these things called "mirrors" to make sure nothing is around me. Hell I might even glance over my shoulder to check a blind spot.

But no. Not you. You just decide - AFTER PASSING ME SO I KNOW YOUR DUMB ASS SAW THE TRUCK - that you can just jump over into my lane.

But I know you heard the screech of all four of my tires skidding at 65 mph. Hell I might have even been going 70. Yea, above the 55 mph posted limit but this is Miami, so the speed limits are merely suggestions unless there is a cop around. What I was NOT doing was lane hopping. I had been in that lane for some some time cruising around.

And what did you do? Nothing. You kept moving over. You would have hit the passenger front quarter panel with your bumper - effectively doing the police PIT maneuver to yourself. You would have also spun my truck out of control and right into the bus load of nuns you were trying to pass. Nuns would have been running around on the highway, on fire, screaming, with blood gushing from their ears.

Jesus would have been pissed off about that.

Holy crap dude - either learn to drive or stay the hell off the highway. Better yet, stay off the highway. Or drive your car off a boat ramp into Biscayne Bay.

Really - keep moving over? What the hell? You are lucky my truck is smarter than you and decided to drift to the left on its own once I was skidding. Otherwise you would have hit me.

I let off the brake to prevent the truck from skidding into the guard rail.

By the way, I wanted to go south on the 826 - but I saw you were getting off there so I kept going east. I got off on SW 72 AVE and took the longer way home, just to avoid you. As horrible as 72 ave is (not to mention the hell known as Flagler Drive), Ill take my chances there over with you on the same expressway.

PS - just to give you an idea of how normally laid back and chill I am, when I passed you at the interchange of SR 836 and SW 826 I used my horn for the FIRST time this month and maybe the second or third time this year. I know everyone else in Miami is horn happy but not me.

I hope you are the next person in town to encounter the Green Mamba that is apparently on the loose biting people.

Say hello to my little friend.

Cross posted to Craigslist Miami.

Things That Suck

2009-08-20T03:26:00.002-04:00

Welcome to another installment of things that suck!!!!

In today's segment, I will start by featuring LA Fitness. They suck. Really bad.

And here is why they suck. First off, on their website there is no pricing information listed. It is some sort of carefully guarded secret. Well I figured there was some sort of scam going on there, but I went in anyway.

The facilities were nice enough. There was a pool and a hot tub and all kinds of machines and racquetball courts and shit.

But....after they show you all the shit comes the fun part. The sales pitch. So here it is. The big secret that the website will not tell you.

The initiation fee is either $150 or $199 - PER PERSON. If you pay the $199 your monthly membership charge is like $4 or $5 a month less. Something like that.

There are no discounts for additional members that join with you. So if you and a friend or family member want to join, it costs $150 PER PERSON - plus first and last months membership at $45 PER PERSON PER MONTH.

MATH TIME! $150 per person times two people is $300. $45 per month times two is $90, which covers the first and last months membership for one, so double the $90 for two. that is $180. Grand total - $480.

Then $90 per month after that.

And the staff will present you with a high pressure sales pitch. But wait - there is more! The pricing is so fucking secret that they WILL NOT give you the piece of paper that has all the fees. They will not write the numbers down on another piece of paper they can give you. And they will not really let you take your own notes.

Well fuck them. They suck.

Compare this to Ballys - which currently has NO initiation fee. Memberships run about $30 per month for the primary account, and then $20 for additional memberships. So for two people the grand total to get in is $100. After the first month, it is $50. But the Ballys was not that great.

The 24 Hour Fitness place is $10 a month more for two memberships than Ballys. And no initiation fee. So I am going with them. I like the hours of operation better.

So LA Fitness sucks.

In other news, there are MORE things that suck. Hurricane Bill. It could very well become a cat 4 storm in the next 12 or so hours. And it has shifted its path just slightly to the west.

Now here is why this is bad. IF it keeps shifting to the west - and it is by no means certain that it will (in fact odds are against it) - it could get dangerously close to the New York / Long Island area.

Now hurricanes HAVE hit this area before. We know this. The last time it happened was a long time ago. Powdered wig long time ago. George Washington long time ago. So it could happen.

And what would happen? Well the hurricane would push up a sizable storm surge. This is normal. But then geology comes along and throws up a big problem. Look at a map. Notice how Long Island juts out from New York at pretty much a 90 degree angle. It will act as a natural dam, blocking the storm surge and actually amplifying it. Flooding in New York City will be legendary.

Bill is not going to be that storm. It is already too far to the east. Prevailing winds are westerlies, meaning the wind comes from the west and blows weather patterns to the east. So it is highly unlikely Bill can move much further west.

But Bill still sucks anyway.