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Elysium

Thu, 2 Apr 2026 01:55:52 +0200

You're elsewhere now
where days fold into themselves,
where you've stepped aside from your own life
tending to something bigger than the both of us.

At times the world resists your helping hands -
small misplacements,
warmth where it should not be,
a harmful kindness
that passes,
leaving a smouldering behind.

Sometimes you listen too much
to voices that are not yours.
They carve you,
unknowingly,
persistently,
until you almost believe
you were born from them.

And then, suddenly,
you decide.

You move
as if moving fast enough might confirm you're still here.
And for one brief flicker,
you feel entirely yours.

But it does not hold.
You start drifting -
into sleep,
into repetition,
into glowing screens,
that ask nothing of you
and give you just enough.

Sometimes your body starts speaking quietly,
almost reluctantly,
as if desire had to cross a great distance
to reach you,
and even then,
it arrives incomplete.

Still,
you try,
with carefulness
that reminds of love.

In the evenings,
your voice finds me,
thin and unsure,
and we stay there, half-silent.

I cannot tell
if we are at the beginning
or after everything, -
but its' hum is all the same.

The lost man

Sun, 22 Mar 2026 10:35:19 +0200

One man from the human race,
Gazes at the endless space.
Stars shine with frozen light.
Universe is so dark with might.

Left alone to the law of science,
His spirit hears but only - silence.
The smell of cemetery rot nearby,
Forces to say uncertainty goodbye.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
Seek the reason, seek you must!
Flowers bloom and fade away,
Like a lunatic, grasp the pillar - have faith.

Test every fruit you find,
Rotten ones, leave behind.
And you will find the garden -
Made of virtues strong and hardened.

The path is dangerous and complex,
Be mindful in each of your steps.
And if you will choose what is right,
Stars will shine warm, you feel delight.

Not even a glimpse too long (poem)

Sat, 14 Feb 2026 03:14:56 +0200

The walls are closing in
And not the ones I built.
It’s dark but warmed,
Like someones been stuck here before.

The imprints on the mattress
Now with wider boarders,
Still the same sea spilled
Still the same message surrounded in shards.

The plants are watered
But the soil needs changing,
But my soul has been nailed to me and dragged around; it drew a path so wavy, unsure of its own trajectory;

It still lacks something it never had,
Never consisted and never will entirely.

But who is she kidding, for anyone but her, the moon has been lit.
He’s not allowed to dream like that
He knows they don’t belong.

No matter the comfort it brings for all,
For her it’s the solitude she feels worthy, yet a stranger in.

What is the true purpose, if not the doubt thats brought around?

Stuck in here forever (Lyrics)

Fri, 6 Feb 2026 08:12:29 +0200

My mama called me little demon,
And no one had a clue,
I live in hell like wicked evil,
I'm waiting here for you.

No matter how were good you,
It vanished how you lived,
You chose to hate all people,
So now you're stuck in hood.

You are crying,
(pause)
crying, crying,
’Cause angels do cry too,
You’re stuck in here forever,
Heaven is not for you.

When people live in their world,
They think they are like gods,
No rules, no actions keep them,
They aren’t afraid at all.

One moment you are walking,
BAM!
And now you rot with me,
You are begging for forgiveness,
And falling on your knees.

You are crying,
(pause)
crying, crying,
’Cause angels do cry too,
You’re stuck in here forever,
Heaven is not for you.

You are dying,
(pause)
dying, dying,
’Cause angels do die too,
I chose head burns in fire,
I think it’s good for you.

This place is not for children,
It burns your sins like fuel,
You stay in here forever,
Don’t treat me like a fool.

You are crying,
(pause)
You are dying,
(pause)
You’re stuck in here forever,
You’re stuck in here forever.

Love and friends

Sat, 31 Jan 2026 14:09:02 +0200

I don't know who you are, but you exist,
Out of bound of endless Universe this.
My love, you wait me until I die,
Only perfection exists there up high.
My joyfull friends prepare the table,
They wait me until my age be fatal.
I will find all of them,
In the garden realm.
In reverse what I see here,
Nobody will blow off the flare.

But if they walk on Earth,
Who share the common ear,
To the music I do like,
Destiny, let me them find!

written in lowercase despair

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 11:27:46 +0200

i laughed at love until it cried,
then kissed its mouth and watched it die.
i built a throne from broken men,
and crowned myself alone again.
god sent flowers - i sent them back,
said sorry babe, i don't believe in nice.
hope showed up in secondhand lace,
i lit a match and burned its face.
the universe flirts, but never calls,
it leaves its lipstick on my walls.
fate texts „u up? „ at 3 a. m.,
i block it — i'm not drunk for them.
now i dance with ruin, slow and sweet,
barefoot, bleeding, in defeat.
but don't mistake me for despair -
i'm just too tired to still care.

Realising and accidentally relapsing

Sun, 4 Jan 2026 00:34:30 +0200

I think I may be ready
To let go of who I was before
To let go of who I've been

When the light hits my face, I am afraid
Because shame swallows me whole. You see,
I've always been ashamed, ever since I was a child
And I will peel the shame away like skin if I have to

And I feel deeply, but I want to let go
Because despite having grown, I carry this innate sadness
A belief that within myself lies something so disgusting, and it must not be seen, and I cannot be loved, ever

Then again, if someone were to try to pull me out by the hair
They'd fail, eventually
Because I don't eat enough and my hair is falling out

Soulless man

Mon, 1 Dec 2025 09:53:10 +0200

Depravity has caught them all,
Their moral scale is so small.
Fear installed deep inside,
To control mental side.
Beastiality has a breath,
What for them else is left?
Beat the wife and the children,
Get beaten in the job, being ridden.
You work and you survive,
Bottle of vodka, you are live.
Anger accumulates on scale,
I will find the guilty and rape,
The young one and old,
I will wage a f#cking war!
Tears will be for fun,
I am a man with the gun!
The key of freedom is in my hand,
You are going to fear me, understand?
I left my soul to the devil,
I reached the lowest level,
When I stopped defending what is good,
The godless system broke me in childhood.
Nobody showed me what is virtue,
Depravity is so deep in the structure.
Everywhere I go,
Flowers die down.

And the tragedy of all this,
I cry deep inside of me, please,
Have mercy on me, don't kill,
Buy the bottle of vodka, a thrill.
Because there is no any way,
I am rotten till the core, angels say.

Experience Crazy Cattle 3D: A Place to Play and Learn with Animals

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 09:17:32 +0200

Are you ready for a game that's equal parts chaos, comedy, and competitive mayhem? Crazy Cattle 3D isn't your typical battle royale – it's a wild ride that will test your reflexes, strategy, and ability to laugh at absolute ridiculousness.

Getting Started: The Basics
When you first jump into Crazy Cattle 3D, you will be dropped into a quirky arena filled with precarious platforms and unpredictable challenges. The goal is simple: be the last sheep standing. But trust me, achieving that is anything but simple.
Gameplay Mechanics
The game's physics-based mechanics are what make it truly unique. Unlike traditional fighting games, your success depends on timing, positioning, and a healthy dose of luck. You'll control your sheep character using straightforward controls – moving, jumping, and pushing are your primary actions.

Pro Tips for Dominating the Arena
Master Movement
The key to surviving in Crazy Cattle 3D is understanding momentum. Learn how your sheep moves, how pushing works, and how to use environmental elements to your advantage. Practice your timing – a well-timed push can send opponents flying off the platform.
Platform Awareness
Each arena has its own unique layout. Some platforms rotate, some have traps, and some are just waiting to collapse. Always keep an eye on your surroundings and plan your moves strategically.
Power-Ups Matter
Scattered across the arena are power-ups that can give you temporary advantages. These might include speed boosts, extra push strength, or defensive shields. Learn what each power-up does and how to use them effectively.
Watch and Learn
Every match is different. Pay attention to how other players move, their strategies, and how they use the environment. Adaptation is crucial in this game.

Coming danger

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 09:32:02 +0200

I sense it in the water,
I smell it in the air,
The world is changing broader,
The dangerous time is here.
The silver virtue will be our shield,
Let's face cruel destiny in the field.

Oh, Emmanuel

Sun, 16 Nov 2025 16:44:08 +0200

Oh, Emmanuel,
Help me well.

When I walk threw the valley of death,
Give me your magic hand of strength.
In Lord and God I do believe,
When things get difficult, I please:
Shine to me with the rays of hope,
When the sky is dark in globe.
Love, the golden currency of Christ,
This sword of truth makes things right.
Thing that shows what is true and is not,
In the dark labyrinth of this strange world.
If we are all with you,
Who are against the truth?

Oh, Emmanuel,
Help me well.

My existence itself is a cope

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 00:33:04 +0200

In this lonely world

Only dead don’t cope

All they do

Is to stay still

And pretend

They don’t exist

They don’t try

To make sense

Of why they are dead

Dead don’t pray

Dead don’t care

Dead always stay the same

And maybe

One day maybe

I will be dead someday

The last night in dessert

Sun, 28 Sep 2025 22:42:47 +0200

*Night, solders are sitting near campfire, talking and preparing food, dry cold wind was whistled and moved sand which hides the footsteps*

SANTUKU
Džango, how is your day?

DŽANGO
It was great squad leader Santuku!

SANTUKU
Easy solder, I am still a solder only responsible of your lives, no need to be official.

DŽANGO
Understood leader Santuku

SANTUKU
Just Santuku, please.

DŽANGO
Ok, so, Sven, what is the news? When will we start moving? It was already like 3 days, we need to get to village as soon as possible! We can’t just… Loose time and expect that nothing will happen with village.

SANTUKU
Woo, calm yourself, I understand your concerns, but the sandstorm was rough. The delivery boy said that another squad will wait us and only then will go on a lookout, so don’t worry.

DŽANGO
In that case I am… calm, I think.

SANTUKU
Why are you so rushed to go home? Have wife, kids, parent?

DŽANGO
No, not for them, they abandoned me long time ago, just… It is my village, and I cannot let anything happening to it. Do you remember Fannhra’s village? What mess was there after we help them? What if something like this will happen to our village what if-

SANTUKU
I will stop you there. We are not that weak as the Fannhra, don’t make a fool out of us, they were the smart guys without a military, we are not that smart, but we can fight for ourselves. Our village can defend itself, so for its safety you can be calm, I assure you.

DŽANGO
I want to believe you Sven, but I am still in fear, I can’t describe reasons, but I am just afraid.

SANTUKU
It is common for such solder like us, you were here already for 3 year and no one of us did not die in that period, although we all fight fearlessly, sometimes we just need to be afraid just to not be afraid, I hope you understand me.

DŽANGO
Yes Santuku, I think… I think I understand what you are saying, perhaps I need to say thank you.

SANTUKU
No need to, as a squad leader my job it to ensure that your fighting spirit is always present. Now go rest, we will move tomorrow, I am sure that we will get to village in one day.

Time doesn't heal all the wounds

Thu, 25 Sep 2025 02:44:59 +0200

I thought the time will heal all wounds
But somehow I'm still bleeding
I thought I'm okay
But somehow my old wounds are seeping
Why am I feeling this way,
Why am I still jelaous of you?

Why I sit here and crave the hands, your hands
The same ones that hit me,
The same ones that strangled me,
The same ones that forced you on top of me,
The same ones that cleaned my tears,
The same ones that took care of me
The same ones...

I still drive by, hoping to see you,
I still look at the cars on the roads
Hoping to catch a glimpse of you
I still wish things were different

I hate you, I will never forgive you
I wish you burned in hell
I wish I never met you
I wish my mouth had never spoken your name
I wish I forgot your face
I wish you suffered
Ideally the same way I did
I hate you
I hate you

I wish your hands held me
And your lips would whisper that all is going to be okay

Are you asleep?
Is she next to you?
Is she hugging you the same?
Did your heart already forgot me?
Or do you think of me
Even when looking at her face?

I thought the time will heal my wounds
I never understood it'll leave the scars

Cut the crap

Wed, 13 Aug 2025 22:58:13 +0200

Cut the crap, guys
 “Freedom of speech”?  
Just a high budget theatre show 
With velvet curtains
 and oligarchs in the back row 
pulling strings 
like it's some Shakespearean tragedy 
on repeat.
Decisions?  Already made.  
Already bought.  
Signed in invisible ink
 by hands you’ll never shake.
You have no voice 
just volume sliders on their control desk
 You have no rights
 just terms and conditions
 you never read 
but still bleed for.
You live an unauthentic life 
plastic smiles,
 filtered pain,
 caffeinated dreams 
served in pre approved portions
 by algorithmic priests.
City monkeys,
 swinging from ad to ad,
 scrolling their souls into silence,
 sheeping attention
 toward “safety”
 That golden cage.  
That comfy coffin.
And still 
the Auschwitz owners 
print your money.
 Your dreams.
 Your debt.
 With the same ink they used
 to write the rules
 of your forgetting.
But hey 
keep calm,  
post memes,  
wear freedom like a brand.
Just don’t ask
 who owns the stage.

long distance

Wed, 6 Aug 2025 23:44:29 +0200

I’m trying to think of what keeps me here
makes my thumbs type
makes me religiously write him

I keep going back and forth
trying to remember his scent
i lost a memory of that
there’s only a sense of
overpowering cologne
a heartbeat, whose rhythm i know better than my postal code

I’m trying to think of what keeps me here
asking questions
blinding something that is not in my moral compass

I keep going back and forth
trying to remember him saying my name
he does that in a virtual space
and maybe that’s what keeps me here
in a digital place
religiously writing him
a profile icon now with the same name
of a stranger, with whom
i shared a bed
a laugh
and a stare

now i am religiously writing
to a profile icon
with the same name
of a man i shared a romantic game
that had to end completely
by the last interaction face-to-face

There’s this shared memory between us
keeping us in the digital space
destroying the sacredness
of a memory,
experienced in God’s created space

Thinking,
we need to let go
until the sacred memory
is not washed away

the effect of temporariness

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 18:30:01 +0200

I rarely listen to the music
Occasionally, just for background noise
I rarely do it through my earphones
If so, I know I experienced the life

Now I am riding to the mountains
From a city, the one I make a living from
The one that has so much to offer you
Or take it all at once

Now I am riding to the mountains
With music in my ears
I don’t hear a melody
Neither the words
I only sense a feeling
A feeling of a healing heart
The breathing and the touch

It never was just anger or sadness in his eyes
But an open look at what the day could give him
A feeling of a healing heart, he gave me
A heart that was collected from many pieces, many times, appeared in human hands
Two hearts were then in present
No fancy circumstances
Just faith or Heavenly spirits charm that day

It was this openness to mystery
The one you don’t know when it will be the last Good Morning and last Good Night.
It was an exchange of what you want the perfect love to be
A caring, surprising, gentle, listened down to the smallest details, exciting, shy, and followed by hard breathing while lying next to each other, ending the night
It was this great exchange of what you want the perfect love to be
Which is only possible in mystery
No yesterday and no tomorrow

So now there’s music playing in my ears
Of mystery and temporariness
That makes you an escape and heals your heart from time to time
The sweetness of a memory
The touch of mystery
In the form of a stranger’s birth name’s sound

Audra

Sat, 12 Jul 2025 23:22:40 +0200

Audra siautėjanti mano kaimynystėje paliko kelis gyventojus be elektros.
Audra išvertė kelis medžius, žmonės liko be elektros.

Varnai

Sat, 5 Jul 2025 23:12:55 +0200

Šiandien varnai krankia labai garsiai.
Juodai varnai kranktelėjo.
Jie buvo ant medžių netoli mano namų.
Netoli mano namų jie buvo ant medžių.
Tikrai, jie buvo ant medžio.
Mano kieme yra tik vienas medis.
Prieš keletą metų, kitas medis mirė.

The crows are croaking very loudly today.
The black crows were croaking.
They were in the trees near my house.
They were in the trees near my house.
Indeed, they were in the tree.
There is only one tree in my yard.
A few years ago, the other tree died.

Sun is going down

Tue, 22 Apr 2025 11:28:02 +0200

Sunny’s going down
Have you ever been there?
Down?
I imagine she’s lonely somehow
You could tell you’ve never been
But what a lie!
You’re all risen up
And suddenly it’s not your time to shine
What a devious act
Would say someone with a lousy mind
I imagine she’s lonely there somehow
But have you ever been shining so bright And poof
Suddenly you’re down
Down in a nest of darkness
No light
No nothing
In a cocoon of your own heavy breathing
It’s soothing somehow
That would be a lie
That you never go down
How could you not
While the Mother Sun is dictating you how
How to spend your days on earth
As another universes body
You are Sun’s young child
You are rising up and going down
In your own rhythm
Day by day
You are mimicking the Mother Sun
In your own rhythm
You are rising up
And going down