Well, the photoshoot yesterday didn’t happen. It’s been a bit of a learning experience trying to coordinate a shoot. Solos are a lot easier - you just need one guy to come. But with sex scenes it’s the worst of trying to hookup online multiplied many times over. First you have to get guys who are more or less into each other. Then you have to coordinate their schedules. Few guys want to commit to anything. Some don’t want to show their face, some only want to work with neg guys, etc. My take away is to treat it like a sex party where I set the date and time and see who can show up at that time. But I didn’t learn that lesson in time for yesterday’s shoot.

I had actually put a lot of work into trying to find models, etc. so I was in a pretty bad mood and that got my bf and I to fighting. Bottom line - he saw the trip as a vacation, I saw it as work with some down time mixed in. We finally patched things up and went out for a nice dinner then came back rested and headed out a bit later on (had to wait for the torrential rains to subside).

We went to Campus, one of the stripper bars, and a black guy who had been all over me the night before was on stage doing his non-nude dance. Now, the guys are generally pretty aggressive at the stripper bars, but most of them are straight. I had seen this guy hanging all over a bear, so when he came up to me and started doing the same thing I knew it was more than the regular aggressiveness. His type was hairy white bears with facial hair. He must of spent 30 minutes with me and it was really pretty intense. I wasn’t in the mood that night to go have a dance (plus they’re a complete rip off, so I just tipped him a bit).

Anyway, when he was done with his dance he came up to me and asked if I’d be his fluffer. I wasn’t sure if he was serious, so I said ’sure’, but didn’t know what would come of it. But a couple songs later he came back around and said the management wouldn’t mind ’cause they keep telling him he needs to get completely hard and it’s hard for him to get hard when it’s not with someone else. And I should mention he didn’t ask for any money. So the song before his dance started and we found a booth and I gave him a blowjob and he got nice and hard. He really was into bears - ’cause he’d stop me and make out, etc. It didn’t last long ’cause his song started and he had to rush on stage. Even though his dick is pretty big it doesn’t show as well as some ’cause it’s pretty bent - downwards - so it doesn’t stick out from his body.

So that was an interesting start to the evening. My bf was a bit jealous, but later in the evening he had plenty of attention from other guys, though none as intense and sincere.

I stayed there for a while and then went out to GI Joe - one of Montréal’s raunchier bathhouses. Just went by myself - my bf went out dancing with a guy he met who lived in NY. I should back up a bit and say I had forgotten to bring my pills on the trip and my libido was pretty low given all the stress I was feeling from things falling apart with the models, so I asked how much for the stuff they were selling and was told one type was $20 and another was $25. The guy said the $25 ones (”Forta”) were much better according to the customers who bought both. There were only two in the package and you were supposed to take the 2nd 3 hours after the first. Well, I’ll just say now, what they sold me sucked - my pills are WAY better than those (at least for me).

So I got undressed, and look around to see what’s up. There were a few bottoms on their bellies (what I look for), but not that many. I went to the basement where they have a big room with some glory holes. This attractive hairy bear came onto me. Long story short we got into a corner and I got down and gave him a blowjob. He was pretty horny and it wasn’t long before he was about to blow his load. He pulled out and turned away and I just grabbed his dick and went back to sucking it. He liked that and blew a big load in my mouth. So that was load #1.

After that I walked around a bit more and there was a guy on the top floor who was on all fours. I  went in and he barely looked at me - just kept his head down and his greasy ass up. I rimmed him a bit, got hard, and fucked him for a while. As I fucked him his ass went from greasy to wet - and in particular wet with loads he had taken earlier (it just feels different than lube). He seemed to have a lot of loads in there, so a couple times I got down and felched cum out of his ass - it was literally running out of his hole he had so much in there. Tasted good

I didn’t want to cum so early in the evening. It was at that point I thought I’d see how many holes I could get my dick in. I said that and believed it for a while, but also didn’t take it too seriously - there were willing holes I didn’t fuck.

Anyway, I went back down to the basement and in one of the pitch black glory holes there was a bald (or shaved head) cocksucker. I was feeling him up and felt his ass an it was dripping with cum. The glory holes there are big enough that they’re good for fucking. So apparently he’d been there a while and had spent plenty of time with his ass pushed up against the glory hole letting complete strangers he couldn’t see fuck him and dump their loads in him.

Needless to say I wanted to fuck his cummy ass. I had to get on my tippy toes to do it, but I fucked him for a while. Oddly he didn’t seem to want it to go on for long and he stopped after a few minutes. So I kept walking around.

When I was in my room I saw one of the models who contacted me about porn walk past. He’s a hot, ripped muscle daddy type who had wanted to do a leather scene. I stopped him, told him who I was and apologized things didn’t work out. It was then I realized he was up for doing more than I realized and it might have worked out with him (another lesson learned). Anyway, it was good meeting him and we kept seeing each other all night… [As a bit of an update - once again I misread him and today he tells me I should have fucked him at the bathhouse...]

Up on the top floor again a few doors down from my room and in the room next to the first guy I fucked there was this hot, lean, upper 20s guy laying on his belly. He looked a bit like a Euro boy type. I went in and started rimming him but my dick wasn’t cooperating, so I stopped and told him I’d be back. I don’t think he believed me, but I went to my room and jacked my dick until I was hard and then went back to his room and went straight to fucking him. I knew he was the guy who was going to get my load and I didn’t hold back fucking him. And yes, he did get my load and he wanted me to come back for more…

I knew I needed a little downtime and I was hoping I’d have a second wind, so I laid in my room and tried to recharge. I was playing with my iPhone (I’ve gotten addicted to playing solitaire on it), and I snapped a few pics of myself in the mirror over the bed… [And yeah, I'm heavy - I'm a bear - if it bothers you just get over it...]

The stuff I had taken was making me sweat like crazy, but after a while I figured I was as ready as I’d ever be. (They really did suck - I should have been rock hard after a 20 minute rest - oh well). So I looked around again and wound up in the basement again.

For some strange reason guys were really into me. Problem was some of the guys who were all over me I wasn’t into at all. Finally I found myself in a dark corner (by the 2nd guy I had fucked) and there were two reasonably hot guys competing to service me. One kept feeling up my butt wanting to fuck me, and the other spent a lot of time on his knees sucking me. Oh, I should mention there was this other guy who was back there who was a hot little hairy muscle guy with a pierced uncut cock - very hot, but he left.

Long story short I figured I might as well suck some dick since it didn’t look like either of them wanted to get fucked. So I got on my knees and the top who had been feeling up my ass had this cock that was thin and curved up and to the left. (Weird that it was the 2nd seriously curved cock I had sucked that night). He was trying to face fuck me pretty hard - forcing my head down on his dick - that never sets well with me and I resisted and sucked the other guy’s cock as well. The other guy had a uncut dick with really long foreskin that was leaking like crazy.

Long story short the guy with the uncut cock blew his load in my mouth and before I could even swallow I went back to sucking the other guy. Given how rough he was and the fact that I was squatting and my legs were going to sleep I stopped it after a bit and stood up. At that point he got down and sucked me until he blew his load. So I didn’t get that load, but did make a guy cum…

After that I knew it was time to go, so I got dressed and caught a cab…

So the weird part about this trip is I’m not all that horny. Montréal is a great place to come for sex. The bathhouses are pretty wonderful, the guys are sexy, etc. Last night my boyfriend was horny so after dinner we went out for one drink at a stripper bar and then I told him to go to a bathhouse and I just went back to the hotel.

One curious thing that happened yesterday was that we were at Priape and I wanted to buy some more lube. My boyfriend said he wanted to buy some condoms as well (he fucks raw or rubbered - depending on what the bottom will do). I reminded him that we have a bunch of (old) condoms at home. But he said some were so old that the glue on the wrappers was breaking down and they were opening up. To me old expired condoms are the ideal condoms - after all they’re more likely to break and the bottom is more likely to get your load… But I bought him condoms anyway.

But when he came home from the bathhouse he told me “I don’t think I can fuck with condoms any more”. He was fucking the bottom and the condom was turning him off. He took off the condom, the bottom felt his dick and knew he was getting fucked raw (and said nothing). My boyfriend pulled out when he came, but is pretty sure the bottom would have been fine taking the load. In other words my boyfriend is exactly where I was in my sex life back in 2003-2004 - when you realize few bottoms will say no to getting fucked raw or taking a load.

I did wake up with a big boner this morning. So tonight I want to go out to GI Joe (a bathhouse) and have some fun… Problem is I forgot my pills so that will limit me a bit, which is unfortunate.

About a week ago (the day of the Gay Pride Parade) my boyfriend had gone out to march in the parade. I was mostly over being sick, but didn’t want to push it so I stayed home. I thought maybe I’d take a nap, but figured I’d look and see if I could find someone to fuck. The hairy Italian daddy I’ve fucked a bunch of times before had e-mailed me a day or two before so I e-mailed him back and told him I was available. Like the other times he rushed right over. It’s like he lives to get fucked and take loads - like he’s an easy on-call cumhole. Why there can’t be more bottoms like that, I don’t know.

He comes over and asks if he can clean out a bit more, so I say sure and lay on the bed and start jacking my dick. He comes out and starts giving me a blowjob and then has me take off my clothes. He’s not a very good cocksucker - doesn’t keep his teeth away from my dick. So after a little bit I tell him to sit on my dick. He rides for a bit, but it’s just not doing it for me, so I have him pull off to switch positions I hear a bit of a noise, look down and there’s a wet shitty smear sorta dripping on my leg to the side of my pubes. UGH!!! Once again he’s failed to clean out properly. He apologizes and we both go into the bathroom to clean up. I had my glasses off but I notice there’s water all over the floor. I clean off, come out while he cleans out some more, get a new towel to put over the one that luckily I’d put on the bed and try to get myself back into the mood to fuck. Often a dirty hole just puts me off my game and it doesn’t happen at all.

When he comes back out of the bathroom I figure I’d have him lay on his belly. At least that way gravity will be working in my favor if he’s not clean. I do manage to get hard again and go back to fucking him. I think tops will understand what I mean when I say his hole felt uncomfortably wet - it was wet, but not lubricated. I tried putting a bunch of lube on his ass to improve the sensation and it helped a bit. What he was lacking is anal mucus - he’d washed it all out of his ass, and his ass was so wet it diluted the lube when it was applied.

I kept fucking him, but started wondering whether I’d be able to cum with him. At this point he was a piece of meat to me - a hole to fuck. As long as my dick stayed hard and he didn’t tell me to stop I was going to fuck him however I felt like fucking him. I wasn’t able to cum, but thanks to having taken a pill I was staying plenty hard.

So I fucked him and fucked him and fucked him. I could tell I was sorta wearing him out, but like a good bottom he just laid there and took it. I’m not sure if he enjoyed it or if it was uncomfortable for him - I honestly didn’t really care. The funny part was he kept telling me “You’re the best” which I found a little funny. I wasn’t sure whether that meant he was enjoying himself or whether he was just thinking that stroking my ego would make me cum and it would be over.

Finally his ass started producing mucus again and it started feeling better, and I changed positions a bit so one of my legs was between his and the other outside of his - so I was fucking from a bit of an angle. One way or the other I did finally cum in his ass.

He was worn out as well. He was going to jack off, but then we got to talking and finally he just got up and gathered his things and left. As he was gathering his things he noticed one of his new bottles of poppers was nearly empty and he realized he’s manage to spill the poppers in his car on the way over. That’s gotta make your car smell like shit - not sure how he’s going to explain the smell to his kids if they ask what it is. But he had brought the bag into my apartment and so now my bedroom reeked of poppers.

But the worst part was when I finally went into the bathroom and saw the mess there. He had managed to get shit EVERYWHERE. It was all over the toilet, but it was on the bath mat, and there were small brownish spots on the towels that were hanging on the wall, and all over the walls. It’s like shit-infused water had spattered all over the bathroom. It was disgusting.

It’s really too bad. He’s so eager, so dependable, but not being clean is a reoccurring theme with him. I’m pretty sure what he’s doing is trying to hard - using too  much water with too much force and getting water too far up into his colon. And I don’t think he’s careful enough to sit properly on the toilet - I think he squats and aims (and misses).

So unfortunately I had to bring up the issue with him in e-mail after he left. He’s such a nice guy and he’s going through such a rough time - he’s been unemployed for months and his ex-wife is insisting he pay child support when he has no money - he’s literally worried about becoming homeless. So it was really awkward to tell him he’s failed in yet another thing as simple as cleaning out his ass.

What I need is a bottom as eager, dependable, and available as him who’s squeaky clean every time they show up.

Long story short there was a tourist from London who was hanging out with his boyfriend’s set of friends, we got to talking and it was his last night in New York. I could sorta tell the large gaggle of Asian guys at the party was a little fem for his tastes (sexually), so even though I was sloshed drunk from all the beer, jello shots, and vodka melon shots, my boyfriend suggested we go out for a drink at the Eagle. Given what he said was his type that was the only bar we could think of that might have guys he was interested in. So the three of us headed over to the Eagle (the guy he came with was in bed kissing another porn guy from Toronto when we left).

We get there and he was totally not into it. He’s into skinhead punks (good thing he lives in London). There were a couple guys there who were sorta his type, but not much selection. We used to have some of that in New York, but like the leather scene you don’t see much of any of it anymore. When the East Village boys moved to Williamsburg the skinhead punk types sorta died out. There might still be a little of it in the East Village, but very little…

So there was a bunch of guys in one of the corners and it looked like something might be going on. I mentioned that’s as close as we get to a back room so he plunged in, but not much of anything was happening - there was even a monitor with a flashlight making sure nothing was happening. When we got out of that corner we did see one guy giving a blowjob (briefly).

It’s like gay life in New York has completely lost it’s edge. There’s no leather scene any more, the skinheads and punks are gone, there are no good backrooms to speak of. It’s sorta sad. What’s happened to us?

I made out a little with the guy before we left the bar. Curiously he said he wasn’t into bears - his limit was cubs. I asked him what he thought I was and he said a cub - definitely not a bear. (Guess the definitions are different in London). It was nice being a little frisky with him, but ultimately I think we were both stretching our “type”.

[I'm now three hookups behind in writing things up - I'm going to go in reverse order since the latest one is freshest in my mind and the first one has video that needs to be edited and will take time...]

There’s a guy I’ve seen online for a while now - wasn’t sure if he was really my type or not, but after having two guys bail on me when I tried to hookup yesterday, I figured what the hell when he send me a message on BarebackRT and was willing to travel. After the two guys yesterday I didn’t know if he’d show up or not, but he did.

When he showed up he was sorta cute in his clothes. He had a bit of a scruffy look to him and I’m guessing by his looks that he’s poz (can’t say for sure). I was very pleasantly surprised during the initial groping phase - tight, slightly muscular body - thin waist - just like I like them. He was light skinned Latino - also a plus for me - complete with a sexy accent. But with him coming in and stripping down almost immediately there was a definite sexual vibe to the encounter. I knew from his profile that he wasn’t just looking to be an anonymous cumhole - he wanted more - he wanted conversation, kissing - in other words - “meaningful sex”.

But the vibe was totally about him as a cumhole. I had my finger on his hole within like 2 minutes of him getting in the door, and a couple minutes after that (after a little cocksucking) he was bent over and I was rimming his hairy ass, and a minute or two after that my cock was up his hole. So much for his quest for meaninful sex.

Right after I started fucking him he asked if I had poppers, and then when I pulled out he asked if there was anything he could drink. So I ran and got some iced tea and the bottle of poppers. Then we were back at it… He seemed to want to be on his back (so he could look me in the eye - typical of “meaningful sex”). I wanted him face down. We tried it his way for a bit, but I knew from when I originally started fucking him that his hole felt really good when he was on his belly, so I had him change back to being on his belly.

As soon as he was on his belly I knew I was going to cum pretty quickly. I’ve been trying not to jack off, so I hadn’t cum since when I fucked a guy three days ago - as a result it’s wasn’t long before I blew my load in his hole. I know it was way earlier than he was hoping for, but it is what it is. I know from experience that if I hold back I often can’t cum at all - I’d rather cum too soon than not cum at all.

I stayed in him for a while while he tried to jack off, but he never managed to cum. The bottom line is that it was a pump-and-dump encounter that we were trying to pretend wasn’t a pump-and-dump. We talked for a little bit, then he cleaned up, dressed and left…

When I came home the walk from the garage to the apartment was torture. The stuff I was carrying felt like lead weights and at one point I even felt tightness in my chest. When I finally got home I just collapsed. I took a bath and tried to recuperate. Fast forward to about 4am - I wake up thanks to my dog who’s crawled on the bed. I get up and feel like shit. My lower back is KILLING me. I take a couple asprin, and some cough syrup and go back to bed. I don’t sleep well and wake up late.

Thursdays are a busy day for me ’cause I have to get a bunch of porn blog posts done. Without going into details I get in a fight with my boyfriend which turns out to be a huge fight, but I have to try to stay focused on my work. I feel like shit, but just push forward. By Thursday night I just want to crawl into bed, which I do.

By Friday I’m in sorta rough shape - initially the coughing can be controlled with cough syrup and the sore back with Motrin, but I still feel completely run down - so I just stay in bed most of the day. My boyfriend and I manage to patch things back up late in the day (which is a really long fight for us). My symptoms get worse as the day goes on and by the end of the day I can’t control the coughing - it’s pretty much constant. I sleep on the couch so I don’t keep my boyfriend up all night.

Today has been an incredibly rough day as well. Light fever on and off (which makes me a sweaty mess), coughing I can’t stop and the sore lower back (which had gotten a bit better) started getting worse.

Now that some of you think I’m going through the “fuck flu” I’ll burst your bubble… What I didn’t tell you was my boyfriend has had similar symptoms - a few days before me. His horrible day was last Thursday and whenever he exerts himself he gets sick the next day or two, which is what’s happening to me. So whatever he’s got, I’ve got and given our lack of a sex life, it’s not sexual.

If’ I’ve got anything major it’s more likely to be swine flu than HIV. Why is it that you always get sickest on the weekends when the doctor’s office is closed? I’m not about to go waiting for hours in the emergency room, but I’d really like to know what it is and get something to control the symptoms… Oh well…

UPDATE: Saw the doctor today (Monday) and I have Bronchitis, but it probably started with something viral. Hopefully it will be over soon.

Frankly guys, barebacking is natural, it’s what real guys do in the privacy of their own bedrooms… Enjoy! (Though if you’re a celebrity you might think twice about having pics taken of you getting raw dick in your ass…)

So we’ve decided to take a trip to Montréal next month and I figured I’d post something on Craigslist looking for guys who want to be in amateur porn. I’ve gotten some replies and finally someone responded who seemed like he could be a real sex pig, but as soon as I mentioned bareback he said he wasn’t comfortable with that. There are still things I can do with a safe sex bottom - oral, BDSM, watersports, etc. so I’m still hoping to work with him…

But it just struck me tonight - I’m not going to actually pay someone to put on a condom - that’s just so against everything I’m about, it’s not funny. There is one safe sex top who’s offered to do it for free - that I could see doing… I have no problem making money off condom porn, but I don’t want to put my money into it (except maybe for editing and distribution). I’d rather shoot an oral scene, but even that I’m not going to pay much for someone to do - maybe a bit more than I’d pay for a good solo scene.

The bottom line is I need to do what my heart is into and that’s bareback, preferably where the bottom gets a load. I’m also totally into doing kink - S/M, watersports, fetish, etc. That’s what interests me and that’s what I see myself doing in 5 or 10 years, so might as well avoid the distraction of other stuff now and just get headed in the right direction…

If any of you are interested in being in porn (which is still a bit amateur and low budget at the moment), e-mail me and let me know. For now I’m looking for guys in New York and Montréal. I’m especially looking for New York based tops. There’s a bottom coming over from the UK in a couple weeks who’s up for being filmed in a gangbang, and the bottom I organized a gangbang for last year wants me to do another one. This time he wants it to be a conversion scene and have it be videotaped. I know last year when we did his gangbang he had been taking poz loads but his last test had been neg. Haven’t heard back from him as to whether he’s still neg. Either way, I think we’d need to tone down the conversion aspect of it… That’s got all sorts of legal complications and I’m not sure any billing company would process the payments for a site that’s got conversion videos. It’s probably up there with scat - legal in most places, but really difficult to distribute.

If you’re wondering, I’ve been a bit under the weather the past few days and busy with work before that. The masculine piss pig bottom I videotaped last year wants to hookup again and videotape it. If I don’t do it tomorrow then he’s gone for two months, so hopefully I can have that happen and have a good fuck to report about…

Also available in HD on YouTube…

As with the last video, you can see the video above in HD on YouTube…

And like Jeffrey Payne, she ended her song with a call for inclusion - “All inclusive, not exclusive”… Hopefully that is what will happen at IML and things will change.

As far as camera work… You’ll see I mostly messed up on audio - the music was too loud and I didn’t turn down the inputs so there are times when the sound is pretty fucked up. Lesson learned.

If you want to see it in HD, go to the video page on YouTube - the version I uploaded is true HD - 1080i.

This is actually the first clip I’ve created and published with our new camera - I’m not happy with what YouTube has done with the low-res version, but the quality of the HD version is about as good as it gets (except for my camera work)…

As much as I want gay marriage I wasn’t all that upset by the Prop 8 ruling. I think if people in the middle of the road see that the discrimination is real they’ll care a bit more next time it’s in their power to vote or sign a petition.

And if you haven’t heard, the two lawyers who fought each other on Gore v. Bush (a Democrat and a Republican) are teaming up to take the Prop 8 fight into federal court. Their argument is that it’s fundamentally unconstitutional to create separate institutions for separate classes of people - in this case domestic partnerships for gay men and lesbians, and marriage for heterosexuals. And that marriage is a “fundamental right”. I’m somewhat surprised that they didn’t also mention how dangerous it is for a majority to be able to take away a right of a minority, deemed constitutional by the courts, via a popular vote. One of the purposes of the courts is to protect minorities from the tyranny of the majority. But that may factor into their arguments down the road - who knows…

Not surpringly most of the big gay rights groups are going ape shit over the lawsuit saying a negative precident could set us back years. I said pretty forcefully last year that I don’t agree with the hyper calculating approach to gay rights. I mean I get where they’re coming from and I know they have good intentions, but it just seems totally wrong to me to be polite and patient about discrimination. Call a bigot a bigot, be angry, challenge them…

Afterwards I washed down my STD meds with a pint of beer at Rawhide. There aren’t as many guys playing pool there as there were in the past and it’s not quite as easy to talk to people as it used to be. Weird how it’s changed. I was glad to see the bartender wasn’t mad at me after pissing on the guy in the bathroom last time. In fact he greeted me with a “glad to see your back”. And the best part of Rawhide this time was the “Raw Pride” sign haning near the door.

While being in a hotel with thousands of guys ready to fuck has it’s advantages, this would be the one disadvantage and the reason why it’s good we don’t live our lives this way 24/7/365.

So I’ve got an appointment to see a doctor at Callen-Lorde tomorrow evening. If I take the meds that night I should be all cleared up by Friday night when my boyfriend and I will probably be up in Montréal. But it means no fucking between now and then, unfortunately.

Yesterday I had to checkout by 11am, but didn’t have to leave the hotel until 2 or 2:30, so I relaxed in HotBttmTO’s room and we chatted about things. I had fucked 18 new holes I’d never fucked before (thanks in large part to the 9 guys at the blackout party the night before), I’d only given 3 loads. I’m usually just a one load a day sorta guy, so wasn’t at all disturbed by those numbers, but I did want to give one more load…

I was laying there on the bed doing some blogging, he was at the desk, on his computer hunting for more dick. We figured out that he will be going away from IML with nearly 60 loads (counting conservatively, so the one guy who blew up his ass 5 times in one night just gets counted as one load), and he probably had over 100 guys fuck him. Needless to say, that breaks records for him. At IML last year he was still neg and his big step was taking anonymous loads without asking the guys’ status. A year later to get fucked by 100 guys and get 60 loads says a lot about him. And for the record, his goal for the weekend was 40 loads…

I was laying there with my hard dick out and was surprised he didn’t come over and start giving me a blowjob or sit on it or something. At one point I was changing my location back to NYC on the hookup sites and editing my profiles when I read an e-mail from a hot little 18 y.o. Asian on Adam4Adam that wants me to fuck him. The kid is adorable. I showed the pics to HotBttmTO and then put the laptop down and moved his head down on my dick.

Maybe a minute later I guide him over to the bed as he’s unbuttoning his pants and letting them fall down. He lays face down on the bed and I get a little lube on my dick and shove in. He still has the 5 loads from the guy who fucked him the night before in him, though he wasn’t all that cummy…

The fuck was a lot like a pump-and-dump. Short and sweet and animalistic. He was a hole (a good one), and I was just using it to get off. It only took a few minutes to cum and then he got my last load of IML.

We went back to laying around and chatting, then he was off to the leather mart to meet up with other tops and presumably get fucked some more. I blogged a bit more and then left for the airport.

In all fairness, the worry about people stealing things was completely misplaced. And I don’t think anyone would intentionally damage a room either. I was actually amazed how respectful and polite people were at sex parties.

So, I was relieved when someone volunteered to host the party. But then they canceled on me, but then two other guys volunteered. They had a pretty big room, so we were good…

As I was going up to the room for the party I ran into PigMaster (the owner of BarebackRT) wandering the halls wondering where the party was. He gets so many e-mails every day he didn’t see the one with the correct room number. So we went up together and got there maybe 15 minutes after it was schedule to start. There were already at least a dozen guys there and people were already fucking. The crowd was a good mix with the exception of an older creepy guy - not sure how I managed to approve him, but I must have.

I just pulled out my dick and left my clothes on. Other guys were stripping down. It was like a buffet of raw dick and ass - whatever you liked there was some of it there for you. There was a twink, some jocks, some bears, some muscle bears, some hot muscley older guys, some cubs… You get the picture.

PigMaster started off by just watching and getting a sense of the place. As he was starting to join in I happened to be fucking one of the hosts and Pig Master was in front of him. I whispered to the host that that was PigMaster and he blurted out “PigMaster?!?” and had a big smile on his face. It was sorta cute.

At first I had the curved barbell in my PA. With some of the guys I fucked the PA sorta hurt, but I couldn’t get the ball to unscrew, so I left it on and kept fucking. Finally I really wanted it off, so I went into the bathroom and used a washcloth to unscrew the ball and get it out.

I tried to keep count of how many guys I fucked. I didn’t stay there all that long - maybe 30 minutes, but in that time I think I fucked 8 or 9 different guys. You literally went from guy to guy and they’d just bend over and take your dick. It was a lot of fun.

Since I don’t do well sexually when the room is hot, I finally had to leave. I relieved one of the hosts of door duty and stood outside and let people in while chatting with this incredibly hot, muscular older guy (if only all older guys were hot like him)… Then the host came out to take a break from the heat in the room. As I was leaving the place was at capacity and the temperature in the room was stifling hot, but it was definitely a great party…

I did fuck him. On a certain level he was a nice guy and an eager bottom. Thanks to pills I didn’t have a problem with an erection and his hole did feel good and I could have cum if I had wanted to, but I held back.

Was it bad sex? Not really. It was IML and he was just another hole. He just wasn’t who I wanted to give my load to.

As soon as the guy pulled me over I said “I’m coming from and S/M conference. I apologize for what’s in the bag”. He was good about it though, he found the padlocks but then inspected the rest of the contents and came across a small billy club - maybe 8 or 9 inches in length (see pic below). He said he had to check to see if it would be considered a weapon. Turns out his boss had zero sense of humor and declared it a weapon. That meant the Chicago Police had to be called. When they got there the officer asking me questions didn’t know what S/M was - I had to explain it to him.

I’m sure they all thought I was a freak, but I just squared my shoulders, looked them in the face and answered their questions in a friendly manner. That got me some credit. Instead of escalating it, they realized I was pretty harmless. They still had to run a check on me and write up a report.

The funniest part was they were all handling the little billy club having no clue I stick it up guys butts. If they had known that, I think they would have dropped it like a hot potato. One of the officers asked another one, “what does he use that for?” and the other officer said “I don’t even want to know…” Indeed, he didn’t want to know. So there was a humorous aspect to it, though I couldn’t enjoy it too much given that they were watching my every move.

The guy who initially pulled me over was super nice about everything. I didn’t have a key to lock my carry on, so he went out of his way to find some tape to put around the bag. He even told me about a security check point that had no lines so I could get to my flight on-time. And United handled it perfectly as well. When I came back and said the TSA was making me check the bag they put me to the front of the line and didn’t charge me for the extra bag.

It was a huge hassle and rattled me a bit, but in hindsight it was pretty funny. It reminds me of when I went to Puerto Rico years ago with a sand-filled leather ball stretcher in my bag. The security guy pulled it out and studied it for several minutes and finally asked “what’s this for?” I said “you don’t want to know” and he just dropped it back into my bag and told me to have a nice day.

Yesterday afternoon was the perfect moment in my IML experience. While I have issues with how IML is run, it’s moments like this that will get me back here next year.

For starters the guys who were taking over my blackout party wanted to come by to talk to me (NotSoInnocent and BountyHunter from BarebackRT). Then while I was waiting for them a hot black bottom from LA contacts me and wants to come over. While I was chatting with him the straight married lawyer who I played around with last year called me and was in the hotel and wanted to stop by.

First the guys who were doing the party got here. One was in leather the other in street clothes. Nice guys. We chatted a bit and then there was a knock at the door - it was the straight lawyer. He came in and was curious that I had other guys in the room who were potential bottoms… After doing his forceful dominance thing with one of the guys - basically sitting on him like he was a horse or a dog or something, he saw that my gear was out on the desk from the session the day before and he picked through it and started putting a collar on one of the guys. Then he got one of the floggers and started using it on the guy’s ass…

The other guy decided he wanted to get into his leather and come back, so he left. It wasn’t long before the remaining guy was tied up and the lawyer and I were using him. I let the lawyer lead - he has this subtle but persistent energy to him where he forces you firmly but gently to do what he wants.

After a while he had the bottom on the bed pushing the bottom down with his legs as laid back on the bed. I was flogging the backside of the guy’s legs. (BTW, the “bottom” is usually a top.) After a bit I took some rope and some restraints and basically did a loose version of a hog tie with the guy on his belly and his ankles tied to his collar.

Then there was another knock on the door. I was expecting the other guy doing the party to come back, but it was the black guy. I had told him the straight guy was coming over so he asked if he was still there, and I brought him into the room… He’s not big on S/M and just wanted to get fucked. He stripped down and presented his ass to me. I ate out his ass for a while as the straight guy continued to play with the guy who was all tied up.

I started fucked the black guy with him in a doggy position, then I pushed him into the middle of the bed where he was right next to the guy tied up and the straight guy started forcing him down on the bed with his legs. That lasted for a bit but the black guy was a bit nervous and didn’t like being forced down so he pushed himself back up a bit.

The straight guy had already started feeling the scene was changing and I could tell he wasn’t 100% into what was going on. He’s about dominance and control. He seems more interested in the fact that he could fuck you if he wanted to than actually fucking. He’s simply not motivated to fuck at all - it’s all about dominance to him. When the black guy pushed himself back up that was sorta the end of his attention span. Plus the bottom who was tied up was getting to his limit as well.

The straight guy got up, we untied the bottom to the point he could get himself out of the rest of what he had on, and I went back to fucking the black guy. The straight guy then asked if he could take the whip he had left with me the year before - he wanted to go walk around the hotel. I figured that was the last I was going to see of him and the whip, and he left. Then the bottom got himself untied and he left too - wondering why his friend hadn’t come back…

At last the black guy and I were alone, which was a good thing. I can fuck when I’m around other people, but I’m better when I’m 1-on-1… Being watched makes me a bit nervous. He had a bubbly full ass (and a lean body). His ass felt good, but it was a bit of a challenge getting just the right part of my dick rubbed the right way. I was starting to think I wasn’t going to be able to cum when I had him change a bit and I fucked him on his belly with one leg bent - so I was sorta coming at his ass from an angle. That was better, but I still wondered if I could cum. Finally he was almost falling off the bed (supporting himself with his arms touching the floor) and I found the goove and knew I’d get my nut. A couple minutes later he got my 2 day load up his butt.

We talked for a bit and then he was on his way. One of the things he mentioned was that I needed new pics - that my pictures didn’t do me justice. So I pulled out the camera and had him take a few. The first couple didn’t come out very well (see pic to the right - lol) - I was backlit so the initial pics were completely useless. I tried to get the flash to work, but finally gave up and took a picture in a different location in the room.

I then laid down for a bit and thought that was a cool ending to the last afternoon at IML. But then there was a knock on the door - the guy who was hosting the party had come back in leather. I told him I had just come, but if he wanted to play with flogging or something I was up for that. He had never been flogged and was a versatile top, but was willing to give it a try.

I knew I had to be pretty gentle on him since it was his first time. He pulled out a video camera and a blindfold and so we recorded his flogging. Hopefully he’ll put it up on a tube site so I can embed it here.

It was a good session. Couldn’t go all that hard on him, but he took more than he thought he could and actually got off on the pain, which wasn’t something he was expecting. Eventually my wrist was getting tired and he was starting to reach his limit, so we stopped.

All in all, pretty much the perfect IML afternoon…

We literally got the camera the night before I left for IML. I spent the plane flight reading the manual and I was hoping I could videotape a few people while I was at IML. But since I hadn’t made any plans, that was easier said than done. However, one guy did say he was up for it, so I had him over. He said he was up for more than fucking and when I told him I was into stuff like flogging, he seemed fine with it.

He arrives and while he wasn’t like his pics (he was bigger and beefier) he was still pretty hot - like a big piece of man meat. He had this big grin on his face which just wouldn’t go away. Since I was videotaping it, I figured I’d do a variety of things and start with stripping him down, restraining him a bit, and having him walk down the hall to get some ice. So there he is lumbering down the hall in a jockstrap and boots with his wrist bound together and it strikes me - OH SHIT - my wallet with the key card is in the room. I’ve just locked us out of the room! There was nothing I could do about it right at that moment, so I wait to tell him until we’re almost all the way back to the room. HotBttmTO had the room next door and we had exchanged key cards, so I knock on his door hoping he’s in, but he’s not. There was nothing I could do at that point except leave the bottom in the hallway and run down to the front desk. Luckily we were on a pretty private side hallway, so it wasn’t much of a spectacle.

At the front desk they tell me they’ll send security up to unlock the door since I didn’t have photo ID on me. When I get up to the room HotBttmTO had just arrived and he let me in (thank god - didn’t really want to deal with security on that one). Luckily the bottom was still all smiles and while that was a hiccup, nothing bad happened.

We get into the room and I hood the bottom and put him against the wall to flog him. We had talked briefly about limits and he said his limit was “no extreme pain”. He had also mentioned that he was a regional title holder for Mr. Drummer some years back, so I figured he had the same definition that I did for “extreme pain”.

I start flogging him (had to use the two floggers I had bought the previous day). Started with the soft thuddy moose one, and then worked up to the cowhide one that’s sorta a low to moderate pain flogger (depending on how you use it). His back was getting nice and red, but he started having problems taking it. A few times he indicated that he was about at his pain limit. I hadn’t even broken out the wire flogger/whip I had used on the bottom last year. That’s painful, but even that’s not quite “extreme pain”. Clearly this guy had a different definition of “extreme pain” than I did.

Since he had pretty much had his limit, I wound that down and put him on the bed. Now I should mention he had a 000 gauge ring in his dick (a Prince Albert). That’s absolutely huge. A 00 gauge ring is the thickest gauge that will fit in my urethra - so he was bigger than that. In addition, he had a big thick copper cockring on - the type that goes down and pushes on your perineum. His dick was all shriveled, which I discovered is his reaction to any type of hitting (flogging, cock and ball whip, etc.)

I play with his body a bit and then his hole and I’m hard so I shove my pierced dick up his hole (I had the curved barbell in my PA). I’m not usually all that into big beefy types, but his hole felt good. He had lubed up and it was all wet and slick. After a little fucking I noticed he wasn’t totally clean, but it wasn’t so bad that I was going to stop. But as I fucked him more it became more of an issue, so I stopped.

I figured I’d videotape him douching. He was still hooded, so I led him into the bathroom, got him situated in the tub and used the shower shot on him. Thing was, I could tell I was putting more water up there than was coming out, so after a while it sorta seemed counter productive.

We went back to the bed and fucked a little more, but like I expected it was now an even sloppier mess up there. My dick goes soft when shit is an issue and all of that sorta put my dick out of commission and stopped the fucking. [And for thoe of you who are critics - no that doesn't make me a bad top.]

So since I had this big beefy guy tied up on the bed I figured I’d have some fun with him and started playing with his dick and balls. My goal was to edge him and see how much he could take. So I licked his balls and his dick. Didn’t suck his dick - just licked it. He definitely responded and got totally hard. I licked and licked and licked. Looking at the time code on the video I think it went on for about 20 minutes. He was in agony ’cause he wanted to cum, but couldn’t. I gave him permission to cum, but he really needed to be sucked not licked to cum, but what was cool to me about videotaping it was the size of his PA. I tried very briefly to put it in my mouth, but that just wasn’t going to work and I had zero interest in giving him a regular blowjob.

Finally I just gave up getting him to cum and we wound down the scene. When I took off the hood he was in a very different mood than when I had put the hood on. He wasn’t smiling, he was withdrawn and was difficult to read. I kept pushing him to talk and explain what was going on, but he was just shut down. The more I pushed the worse things got. He did mention something about being upset about not being able to cum.

He did show me photo ID and I took a photo of it, but he was reluctant to sign the model release. He took a copy with him “to look at it”. He also said he was a cop and people didn’t know he was into fetish. So frankly I don’t think he’ll ever get it back to me. Lesson learned - have them sign before you start. The weird part was he said it was OK when he started…

After he left I sent him a message. I realized I may have pushed him past his limits and there could have been a point at which the scene started going bad for him. If that was the case, I apologized. He wrote back saying I didn’t do anything wrong. I have two theories of what happened… First, he felt like he failed - between not being able to cum and having a dirty ass maybe he felt like he disappointed me. Second, it’s possible he was high and the drugs wore off. It was such a huge change in mood I sorta suspect that was the case. Or maybe I did do something wrong and he’s just being polite… Who knows? It’s too bad it ended that way though…