rawTOP Combined

Another Quickie, This Time With A CUTE Bottom

admin — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 15:11:03 +0000

Load 2015-23

Guess I’ve just been in the mood to fuck the past week or so. I did another quickie pump-n-dump in the neighborhood this morning. It would have been a long walk, but it was a quick straight shot on the bus, so I took the bus instead.

The pics I saw on BBRT were good, and he didn’t disappoint when I got there. Totally my type. Short, thin, and dark. I’m not quite sure about his ethnicity. It’s not listed in his profile. If I had to guess I’d say East Indian, but I’d also guess he’s mixed with something else as well. Or he could be some other mix that results in that skin color.

So as soon as I got there, I took off my shorts and he got on all fours. (Interesting he didn’t want to suck cock). I was totally happy eating out his hole. But I wonder how bottoms get clean that early in the morning on short notice. I mean at that time of the day I’m “full of shit” (literally). How do bottoms do early morning hookups? Actually, with a lot of morning hookups I wonder if the guy hasn’t been parTying all night, but I didn’t get that sense with him. He seemed completely lucid and cogent.

Anyway, his hole and his ass were pretty much perfect. He had a TINY waist (which I love), his ass was slightly hairy, and his hole was nice and clean. If you read this blog much you’ll know that’s a mix that gets me hard pretty quickly.

As soon as I was hard enough to fuck I stood up and lubed up my dick, but his lube bottle seemed pretty empty, so I added some spit to the mix as well. He had no problem taking me which I was a little surprised about since he was little and his hole didn’t seem like it was “well used” or anything like that.

After a few strokes I repositioned him on his belly. His hole felt good. Actually, I wondered if he already had some loads in there. But I didn’t taste any when I was rimming him. But he seemed really moist, which meant it felt pretty good. I was little worried that I wouldn’t be able to cum since I’d cum the day before, but soon enough I felt my orgasm building. He didn’t get as big of a load as the bottom yesterday, but I felt a couple decent spurts go in him.

I collapsed on him for a minute or so to catch my breath (but was careful not to crush him). Then I pulled out, put my shorts on and left. He seemed to want to talk, but understood that I was looking for a pump-n-dump.

I was in and out (so to speak) in a total of 8 minutes. Then I went to my gym which was an easy walk from his place. So a good start to the day – sex followed by a workout at the gym… Guess I can count the sex as cardio, right?

7 Min Pump-N-Dump In The ‘Hood…

admin — Wed, 19 Aug 2015 02:38:14 +0000

Load 2015-22

Since I didn’t cum the last two nights in Montréal, and was too tired to go out last night after driving back, (and I still had Cialis in my system), I figured I’d look online for hole to dump in. Within minutes of logging into BarebackRT I had a cumhole in the neighborhood hitting me up saying he wanted to get fucked.

So I headed over. Took me about 10 minutes to walk there. When I got there I rang the bell but there was answer. I started to pull out my phone to login and see if he had left a message when this black guy answered the door and told me to come through. When we got to the apartment he told me it was his apartment, but it was his buddy who hit me up. Which was good, ’cause the black guy wasn’t anything like the bottom I was expecting on fucking. I was actually a bit confused when he let me in. I was thinking to myself, “I didn’t think the guy was black…”

Anyway, two of them there with huge dildos on the floor and porn playing on the TV – I figured it was a PNP scene, but the guys didn’t seem high and there was plenty of light in the apartment (meth heads usually have really dark apartments). So it seemed PNP-like, but more sane than most PNP scenes I’ve encountered.

The bottom was an average Latino with a nice skinny(ish) body. He sucked me until I got hard and then bent over for me. I fucked him a little bent over and then had him get on his belly on the couch. The black guy was on the floor jacking his dick, but both of them had soft dicks, which makes me think maybe it was a PNP scene. If it was I didn’t want to know. I just wanted to fuck, cum and leave.

I fucked him for a little while. The black guy felt up my ass while I was fucking the bottom, but not so much that it was distracting. Finally I felt my orgasm coming and I blew a huge load. I could feel several fairly big squirts come out. I mean I’d fucked 10 guys a few nights before without cumming and generally been horny since then, so all that edging had built up a nice big load.

I then washed off my dick in the bathroom sink and pulled on my shorts (the only thing I’d taken off) and I left. The black guy said something like “you’re leaving already” – which was understandable since I had only gotten there 7 minutes earlier. Maybe he wanted to play with me – I’m not sure. But I just wanted to cum and go. I felt a little bad for him since he was hosting, but now he had a cummy hole to play with… I did give him that much…

I got back to my place just 31 minutes after I had left and that included a stop at the Post Office on the way home to pick up mail. I wish sex every day could be that easy. It took almost no time to find the bottom, and the actual hookup went about as quick as humanly possible, and I even managed to pick up the mail in the process. Not bad!

My 32 Hole Weekend In Montréal

admin — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 20:31:34 +0000

Load 2015-21

There was one other load since I last wrote up a blog post. It was a Middle Eastern guy who ‘s mostly top who seems really ambivalent about getting fucked. He wants it, but then as soon as I’ve cum in him he runs to the bathroom to shit it out. Hopefully he’ll start enjoying having a load in him and just let it stay in there…

But what I really want to discuss was this past weekend in Montréal. I needed to use up some Hyatt points and one of the few weekends when I could book with points in Montréal was this past weekend. Then, after booking, my husband realized that it was Gay Pride weekend. So it looked like we were up for a lot of fun.

I had chatted with a bunch of guys in Montréal before going and realized that (for some reason) they don’t fuck in the corners of bars and clubs – they pretty much only fuck in bathhouses. And all the guys I talked to said that GI Joe was the place to bareback, though they said Oasis wasn’t as twinky as it used to be.

We got into town and had two porn biz-related meetings. First was with Buddy Profits / Next Door Studios where Jett Black (a former Cocky Boys model) showed us around. Their offices were huge – an entire floor of a fairly big building in an office park. Lots of employees and lots of workstations. You could tell they were trying to mimic Google – there were game rooms, lounges, etc. Their business isn’t just gay porn though. There’s straight porn and some mainstream stuff in the mix. Bareback-wise their offerings are pretty slim – just Scary Fuckers and Active Duty at this point, though apparently that may change in the next year.

Next meeting was with Media Mania, who run a whole bunch of bareback sites you guys know well – Bareback That Hole, Breed Me Raw, Hairy & Raw, and a bunch of others. Their operation was the complete opposite of Buddy Profits – small and tightly run. Just the owner and his assistant work at their office. All his other guys work remotely, off-site. And with them you walked right into a porn set since they own Bear Films and shoot some of the stuff in their offices.

Anyway, I’m diverging from the sex I had this past weekend… So we finally got to the hotel and checked in. We were exhausted so we took a short “disco nap” and then went out. We stopped at three bars – Aigle Noir (Black Eagle), a hustler/stripper bar, and Le Stud and had a beer in each one. The Eagle and Stud were packed. You could tell everyone was in town for Pride. What’s curious was that the Eagle had had a renovation and wasn’t really a leather bar anymore (much like The Eagle here in NYC). All the leather guys were over at Stud. (What in the hell is going on with the Leather Community? But that’s the topic for another blog post…)

My bf wanted to dance and possibly meet someone and fuck. He was going to go to the dance party at Code but ran into someone on the street and got diverted from his goal. I wasn’t up for dancing, so just went straight to GI Joe. I had to wait about 20 minutes for a room, but finally got in.

I should back up and say that I took a whole 20mg Cialis before going out. It was complete overkill, but I wanted a good weekend and I knew that would do the trick. Needless to say my dick was rock hard most of the time I was at GI Joe. And bottoms where everywhere. My goal for the evening was to fuck as many guys as I could. I basically walked the halls and fucked every bottom who was ass up in his room.

But the weird thing was that while all the rooms were taken, not that many guys were in their rooms. (Which begs the question, why get a room? Why not just get a locker?) There were a number of public play spaces at GI Joe – a couple slings on the top floor, a “resting area” and sling on the 2nd floor, and a backroom sorta thing with a sling and some booths in the basement. Needless to say I fucked every bottom I saw that got into the slings or who’d bend over for my cock. Which amounted to all types of guys – young jocks, bears, cubs, Latinos, Asians, older guys, you name it and I fucked it that night.

I only lasted about 2 hours before I sorta hit the wall energy-wise. I mean it had been a long day and it all caught up to me. Thing was the place seemed even busier than when I got there, but I just wasn’t up for more sex. I had fucked around 21 guys at that point. I fucked one other guy making it 22 holes for the night, and then put a young cub on his belly in the TV/sling room in the cellar and fucked him until I came.

Still, 22 holes in 2 to 2 1/2 hours is pretty good. So that was an excellent night.

The next day (Saturday) wasn’t quite so good. I hadn’t gotten much sleep because the bed was uncomfortable and I got in late. So I was dragging most of the day. I had wanted to go to the afternoon bear party at Oasis, but just didn’t have the energy. We finally went out at 9pm which was an hour before we’d gone out on Friday. The bars weren’t quite as crowded – but they got crowded – we were just there a little too early.

Then I headed to GI Joe again and my bf went to Oasis. My bf had a pretty miserable time at Oasis. Everyone was looking and no one was fucking. There was a long line for rooms at GI Joe so I just got a locker. It was pretty much a repeat of the night before – I even fucked some of the same guys. But I hadn’t taken a “refresher” Cialis, so my dick wasn’t hard quite as much of the time and I missed a few fucks here and there. But I still managed to fuck 10 guys before hitting a wall about an hour and a half or two hours after getting there. Since I didn’t have a room to go lay down in, I just left. I didn’t even cum that night.

We had to leave early on Monday morning, so we didn’t stay out late Sunday night. And didn’t go out to the baths/tubs at all. We had a quieter, more “normal” day that day. We went to Musée d’art contemporain de Montréal (MAC) after bunch (the David Altmejd exhibit is pretty incredible), and then watched the parade. Then a little later we went out for a couple drinks and dinner and then headed back to the hotel.

So yeah, in my dreams/fantasies I would have gone to the tubs a lot more and fucked a lot more guys. But I’m 47 so don’t have unlimited energy, and there are other things in life to do than have sex. Still, 32 holes in a weekend ain’t bad. Hell the 22 holes in one night was a record for me – and that was just over about 2 hours or so, so really pretty excellent.

FINALLY Fucked One Of The Biggest Cumdumps In NYC – @Cuntarmo

admin — Thu, 09 Jul 2015 17:29:21 +0000

Load 2015-19

I’m having a lot of fun topping these days. Not sure what’s changed, but whatever it is I hope it keeps up. I suspect part of it is me getting back to the gym and getting in better shape – that’s probably helping with bloodflow to my dick But who knows.

It seems like it’s been a couple years now that I’ve been wanting to fuck @Cuntarmo, though in one tweet he mentions he’s just been a total cumdump for a year now. I should back up a little bit and say I don’t usually identify the guys I fuck, but in this case we’re talking about one of NYC’s most prolific cumdumps and I’m just mentioning his Twitter handle and he’s pretty careful about masking his real identity…

If you follow @Cuntarmo on Twitter you’ll know that he takes pretty much any load and most days he’s getting multiple loads. It’s not uncommon for him to talk about getting 8-10 loads in a day, though I’m sure most days he’s probably in the 3-5 range. Do the math on that and you realize this guy probably gets >100 loads a month and >1000 per year. And that’s the low side of what I’d estimate he gets. And I don’t think he goes to many sex parties or bathhouses. He’s literally a public cumdump and tops just know they can drop by his apartment anytime, fuck him, and drop a load. Guys like him are sorta the reason I wanna build Cumdump Network – so tops can have a really easy time finding a cumpdump near them any time they’re horny. It’d even be handy for straight guys who can’t find pussy and would rather use a guy’s hole than jack off by themselves.

Anyway, yesterday I was horny and I had some cardiology tests down in Chelsea in the late afternoon. (Long story, but the tests were partly to see if I have atherosclerosis which might be reducing blood flow and causing current/future problems like erectile disfunction). I was horny so wanted to hookup before the tests so I put a Quick Connect ad on BBRT but then I noticed Cuntarmo was on there looking for loads. I figured he was reasonably close to my tests so I’d fuck him on my way to the tests. He got back to me saying the time would be fine, so I took down the Quick Connect ad.

I’d seen body pics of him but when I got to his place I was pleasantly surprised with what he looked like. I hadn’t expected him to be quite as small/skinny as he was – but that’s a pretty big plus in my mind. And he was sorta cute. He had the A/C on, but it was really hot and humid out and so I was pretty sweaty. So I stripped down to just my shoes. He sucked on my cock a bit, but if you read this blog much you’ll know blowjobs don’t really do much for me.

So I told him I wanted to rim him. Not sure what it is, but the last few weeks every ass I rim is cummy and I wind up felching loads from the bottom. Cuntarmo already had 2 loads in him and you could taste the sweetness. As usual that got me rock hard pretty quickly. I felched him a for a bit after I was hard enough to fuck just because I loved his cummy ass, but then I got up, put some spit on my dick and shoved in.

I was surprised. For someone who is fucked multiple times a day for months on end, Cuntarmo’s cunt was really tight. It was good I was rock hard. If I was even a little soft I’m not sure I would have gotten in. Even as it was I had to try a couple times and then really push. Of course it would have helped if I had used lube, but I didn’t think I’d need it after a stroke or two.

His hole felt really good. It was definitely wet/cummy, which I love, and it was tight, but I kept hitting something in him. In a lesser bottom I’d have worried that sensation was hitting “a log” (to put it politely), but I knew that wasn’t what I was hitting. But on every stroke the head of my dick would hit something, and it felt really good. For a while now I’ve noticed that there are tons of things that affect how I do with a bottom, but the absolute most important is whether the head of my dick rubs against something – that’s what gets me off.

I usually have a bottom get on his belly, but with Cuntarmo I just stayed in the doggy position. I figured if the sensations were that great on my dick, why try something else? And, as you’d expect, he got me to cum fairly quickly. And it was a pretty intense orgasm and I think a decent sized load.

After I came I could tell he wanted me to stay in him a bit, so I did, but not too long. When I pulled out I was still rock hard. He spun around and cleaned off my dick. My dick was so sensitive, but I told him to be gentle and he was.

As I put on my clothes he kept fingering his ass and then licking my cum (and the cum of the other two guys) off his fingers. He had a huge grin on his face the whole time. You can just tell that he’s found his purpose in life. He LOVES cum in his ass…

I then washed up a bit and left. The whole encounter was about 9-10 minutes – so just a pump-n-dump. But that’s how both of us like it, so it’s all good.

So if you need a good cumdump, hit up @Cuntarmo on Twitter and give him your load. I highly recommend fucking him. There’s a reason why he gets so many loads – his ass is pretty much perfect.

Gave A Load At A Hot Gangbang

admin — Tue, 07 Jul 2015 13:27:22 +0000

Load 2015-17 & 2015-18

Since the last fuck I wrote up I’ve fucked another 19 guys. Two at a sex party out in Queens. Then 15(!) at a sex party Pride weekend. It was a lot of fun getting my dick in so many holes. I’m still not sure what the magic ingredient was that night that kept me rock hard most of the time, but whatever it is, I wish it would happen more often. But I couldn’t manage to cum at either of those parties.

Then last Thursday I was at another sex party. This smooth jock was presenting his ass to be fucked. I squatted down and started rimming him and this sweet cum was just leaking out of his hole, so my rimming was actually felching. That got me totally hard so I stood up and shoved my dick in. His hole felt really good. It was totally wet and cummy – just how I like it. It wasn’t long before I felt my orgasm cumming. I don’t usually cum at sex parties, so I didn’t hold back. He got a really big 4-5 day load. The orgasm was really intense – a full body experience – one of the best orgasms I could remember in quite a while. But then I squatted down again to felch some more, but that time the taste was horrible. It tasted like nicotine. I spit out what I could, then went to the bathroom to rinse out my mouth.

Anyway, the fuck I really want to tell you about was the one last night. The guy who I called “the perfect bottom” a few months ago (@musclebttm77 on Twitter) was back in town and had rented a hotel room for a night so he could get gangbanged. I wanted to go but have been feeling weird the past few days. I just feel a bit drained and have an intermittent upset stomach. So at one point in the afternoon I texted him and said I didn’t think I could make it. But then I got a hardon and realized that it’d probably be a good gangbang and nothing really gets me harder these days than watching a bottom get fucked raw by a bunch of guys. So I went anyway, and I’m glad I did.

I got there and two guys were just finishing up/leaving. So it was just me and him. The guy watching the door said he had 4 loads in him. He was blindfolded so he didn’t know it was me. I got down and starting rimming him and he was nice and cummy. So once again my rimming became felching. I sucked a bit on his hole. Figured he’d get plenty of cum to replace whatever I sucked out. When I was completely hard I slid in. His hole felt really good. He was in doggy position and if I tried I probably could have cum that way, but I had him get on his belly and then his hole felt incredible on my dick. It wasn’t long before I blew my load in him.

Since no one was there (other than the guy watching the door) I rolled him on his side and we cuddled a bit until another top arrived. Apparently he didn’t know it was me. When I got up he spoke briefly with the guy watching over things. I had told the bottom I’d bring him a #BBBH t-shirt that my husband and I had made up. He was a little confused when the guy told him I “brought him clothes” but then I said “it’s the t-shirt we talked about” and at that point he knew it was me. He pushed up his blindfold and we chatted briefly while the other top was getting ready to fuck.

Anyway, I decided to stay. I figured I might have another load in me, so I sat on the bed and jacked my dick. About that time tops started arriving one after the other. For a while there were literally 9 tops lined up waiting to fuck him. I was rock hard watching him take dick after dick. A few didn’t cum or left without fucking (possibly because the line was too long). I was there for maybe an hour and he went from 4 loads to 12 loads over that time. He was one lucky bottom.

But then things died down around 7 (2 hours into the gangbang). Before I left we chatted some more. He was really affectionate with me which was sweet. And the guy watching over things said I was “cute”. That’s not a word I get called very often. Not sure it really applies to me, but I appreciated the gesture. Apparently I was the guy’s type.

Later that evening I checked and he was up to 17 loads with #18 on the way over. He wanted to hit 22 since he’d never taken more than 21 in a night previously. This morning he said he got 23 loads in total – so he had his best night ever.

One thing I realized is that I need to go to more gangbangs. It’s really hot seeing a guy take load after load. It’s hot felching a cummy hole. And it’s hot sliding into a cum-drenched ass. Problem is, so many bottoms start their gangbangs late at night. This bottom took my advice and started it early to get the after work crowd and I’m guessing that’s why he was able to get so many loads – the longer the gangbang, the more loads you get…

Well, I’ve Kept The Gym Up For A Year Now

admin — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 19:00:08 +0000

A year ago I started back to the gym after more than 10 years of not going. I wasn’t quite sure how I’d do. I mean in the past I’d start back and then quit. This time I just tried to make a habit of it and never let it get to the point where it felt like work. I mean walking 12 blocks in the freezing cold in the dead of winter wasn’t fun, but I did manage to keep it up. I’m averaging going at least 3-4 days a week.

Improving how I looked was only one of the reasons I went back. I was seriously worried about my cardiac health. My father (who’s in his 90s) has had all sorts of problems and I saw myself repeating his health history. I’ve been on meds for hypertension for 12 years now. I got winded too easily (e.g. going up stairs). And there were little things like really cold hands and feet in winter that made me think my circulation isn’t as good as it should be. And then I read that erectile dysfunction is a sign of heart health problems. Anyway, I needed to take care of my body or I wasn’t going to have a very good next few decades.

At first I was hitting the gym pretty hard and doing rather long workouts that completely wore me out. As I was studying workout technique videos on YouTube I realized that I’d do better if I did shorter workouts. Some guys were saying never do more than 12 sets in a workout – and that is about the time when I start hitting the wall. Then I realized that >20 min of cardio actually can start burning muscle and so I reduced cardio as well.

The results the past year aren’t nearly as dramatic as even 6 months of working out when I was 29, but there is progress. By the numbers I haven’t changed all that much… I’ve only lost 1.9 pounds in the past year. BUT that’s made up of 2.4 pounds of fat (lost), and half a pound of muscle (gained). AND, more importantly, I stopped gaining weight.

So here are the before and after pics…

The change is more dramatic in person than it is in the pictures. People are saying I look different – more athletic. I can fit into medium t-shirts that weren’t an option before. The mediums are tight, but they’re an option. And I feel a difference –here’s just more muscle under all that fat than there used to be, and my cardiac stamina has improved. But even the pics show things like the lines that were defining the bottom of my gut are going away, and my waist (the narrow part just below my rib cage) is getting smaller.

My goal at this point is to be fit by the age of 50 (in 2 1/2 years) and do it in a way that’s completely maintainable. To quote Richard Simmons I want to “live it, not diet”. I was hoping I could get there by now (after a year), but that didn’t happen. At least I’m going in the right direction.

So little by little I’m getting there…

Married Neg Bottom Took My Load w/o Knowing My Status

admin — Tue, 09 Jun 2015 19:09:20 +0000

Load 2015-16

Yes, there was a load 15 – it was given at a sex party and fairly unremarkable – didn’t even see the bottom’s face – he was just bent over begging for my load. He had a rather beefy ass which isn’t usually my thing, but his hole felt good, and so I didn’t hold back when I felt my orgasm cumming.

But the fuck today was sorta cool. This guy hit me up on BBRT. He wasn’t totally my type but close enough and he was relatively close (in the same zip code, but about as far away as you can get and still be “0 miles” away according to BBRT). I noticed his profile said “Status: Negative” and he also mentioned that fact in his profile. But his “Looking For” was “No Preference”. So just from that he seemed a bit conflicted on the issue of HIV status.

My status on BBRT is “Don’t Care”. I’m on PrEP, but honestly if I became poz it wouldn’t be a big deal. I mean I guess I care enough to take PrEP, but beyond that I really don’t care.

So I told him to come over and then he asked if I’d pull out. I say no rather emphatically. Then he asks if I’m poz. I tell him I’ll answer that after my load is in his ass. I mean whether I’m neg or poz really doesn’t matter. Most poz guys are on meds and incapable of infecting anyone (it takes a viral load >1000 to do that and “undetectable” is <50). I figured my refusal to state my status would scare him off, but it didn’t. He was still willing to let me fuck him and breed him.

He came over, we got naked, and I saw a gold band on his finger – so he was married – and yet there he was going around taking loads from guys without knowing their status. Hmmmm… Then for some reason he asks if I’m piggy. I say “yeah”… So he’s now taking a load from a guy he knows is a pig, which has got to up the odds of him thinking I’m poz.

When I went to pushed my cock in it hurt him and he pulled off my dick. Then he flipped over on his back but that didn’t really feel all that great on my cock (and I prefer not to look at the bottom in the eyes when I’m fucking him), so once he had gotten comfortable with my cock I flipped him over.

I hadn’t cum in like 4-5 days and I’d been edging on and off most of that time, so I came fairly quickly and it was a pretty big load (from what I could tell). Then I slowly pumped in an out of his ass for a while before finally pulling out. He didn’t rush to the bathroom or anything. He just laid there and let the load absorb into him.

Finally I asked him “So what answer were you hoping to that question?” And he said “Neg”. He may have said “Neg”, but I knew the risk he just took was a big turn on for him. I told him I was neg and on PrEP and gave him a gentle lecture on how status isn’t important – what’s important is whether the guy is on meds – PrEP or ARVs. He seemed to know all that, but the fact remained that he took my load without knowing my status while saying he “wanted to stay neg”. I bet he tells his husband that he’s being monogamous or at least “really careful”. Yeah, right…

He never did try to expel the load. He left with all of it up his gut. And he doesn’t really know whether I was telling the truth or not. I mean I did sorta asked him what answer he wanted before telling him my answer. People have a habit of trusting me. That could have gotten him in a world of trouble today…

As much as I believe in PrEP and think it will bring down the number of HIV infections, I don’t think we’ll ever bring HIV infections down to zero. Some guys just have a dark attraction to HIV. That said it’s increasingly difficult to find unmedicated poz guys. The studies are showing the benefits of going on treatment sooner rather than later, and once a guy is undetectable it’s impossible for him to transmit the virus. It’s a bit like how vaccines have a “herd immunity” effect even if they don’t work on a particular individual, the individual is still protected.

Zack Sire – The Nasty Queen Who Thinks I Shouldn’t Have Any Privacy

admin — Wed, 03 Jun 2015 21:25:55 +0000

This past week has been a tumultuous one for the porn industry. A week ago today a porn blogger named Zach Sire (see photo to the right and below) did a post where he “outed” a fellow gay blogger – the blogger behind Queer Me Now (who I’ll refer to as QMN for the rest of the article). The whole thing was really petty – QMN had won “best porn blog” two years in a row at the Grabbies and Zach apparently felt he should have won, so he set out to destroy the life of QMN. I don’t use that phrase lightly. QMN is from “a certain Asian country” where porn is illegal and QMN could literally go to jail if the authorities know who he is (a fact Zach knew and mentioned in his attack on QMN). AND it wasn’t just jail – thanks to Zach everyone now knows that QMN has a rather respectable mainstream career as well – one that could get obliterated if people found out he was a gay porn blogger.

But let me stop and give you a little background. QMN and Zach have two very different approaches to porn blogging. QMN is an adoring fan who writes about what he loves. Zach does some porn blogging, but he also has a section that’s basically a gossip column – he just seems to love exposing people’s dirt. Any time a porn star goes to jail, he covers it. Anytime anyone says nasty about someone else in the porn biz, he covers it. Basically he uses that part of his site to kick people when they’re down and revel in other people’s misery. Which is why I think he’s earned the label ‘bitchy queen’ and ‘mean girl’ many times over.

I’ve sat and chatted with QMN at two industry events and he’s one of the sweetest guys you’ll ever meet. Most everyone in the industry knows him and loves him. So when Zach attacked him there was a huge backlash. A guy named Danny brought it to everyone’s attention. Over the years Danny has run a whole bunch of different porn sites for producers (everything from Asian stuff to HDK to Titan). He’s also a really sweet guy who lived in Asia for years and knows what Zach’s post could mean for QMN. Then Dominic Ford picked up the baton. He’s a porn star / producer who started a business a few years back to fight illegal content on tube sites. So he’s used to dealing with “bad players” in the industry and has contacts with just about every medium to large studio in the biz.

Anyway, I won’t bore you with all the little details, but one important detail is that this isn’t the first time Zach’s exposed people’s identity. There’s this really wonderful woman who used to work for Treasure Island (she now works for Titan). Zach did a whole piece on her a year ago saying what her real name was, what sort of work she did before working in porn, what sort of other things she’s posted on the Internet, and he imposed her face onto images of bareback fucking and cummy asses and generally implied that she helps in the transmission of STDs. As a result of Zach’s post on her she’s had to consider a legal name change if she wants to get out of porn. But if she does that she loses everything on her resume before she started working for TIM. She’s active on the webmaster board where all of this was being discussed, but she’s just one of many people Zach has fucked over. I mean you should see the things he says about Michael Lucas. In one recent tweet he said “@MichaelLucasNYC Better get back to your coffin, you vile piece of toxic shit. Sun’s coming up in just a couple hours in NYC…” Clearly Zach is NOT a nice guy. I mean I can’t imagine saying something like that about anyone – no matter how much I hate them. Yet Zach does it on a regular basis.

As the shit hit the fan last week people also found out that Zach has a business partner named Davyd Dixon who is a PR guy for many of the big studios. He conveniently claimed that he didn’t have any editorial control over Zach’s blog, but somehow his PR clients never seem to have the problems other studios have with getting slammed on Zach’s blog. (Hmmm…) And it’s not like Zach is even all that consistent. He slams Treasure Island and Lucas for barebacking – talking about how they’re spreading disease, but then he promotes sites like Sketchy Sex and complains that the Grabbies’ condom-only policy means they’re running out of sites to give awards to. His attacks are so random that it really does seem like negative PR rather than a genuine problem with the site or person he’s attacking. I honestly just don’t get where he’s coming from by promoting one site and slamming another that does more or less the same thing.

But seriously even if there is some difference I don’t understand, has Zach never heard of TasP? All the “toxic” stuff that TIM does, that Zach finds so objectionable, is fantasy. Poz guys on meds are some of the least risky people you can have sex with. In 19 years of guys being on ARVs, and probably millions of serodiscordant fucks, there have been no documented cases of an undetectable poz guy transmitting the virus. As a sex industry blogger Zach should know that. So what’s all the fuss? Let people have their fantasies. I mean the porn business is a business based on fantasy. Zach is hardly the god-appointed arbiter of what guys are allowed to jack off to.

Moving on… About 24 hours after the blog post on QMN went up “a hacker” brought down the site, took down the post on QMN, and redirected Zach’s blog to QMN. I don’t think QMN is technically capable of doing such a thing (IMHO, his site is a rather big mess technically). Instead, some people in the industry postulated that Zach just made it appear like he was hacked so he could then claim to be the victim. Which he promptly did in another blog post where he tried to justify his actions and say how horrible everyone was who opposed him. I was even quoted for having suggested on a private webmaster forum that he be permanently banned from getting awards at the Grabbies.

Then he did a video on YouTube where he goes into whether people like me and QMN deserve privacy. He tries to say that bloggers should be transparent and have their identities public (see timecode 1:27). But that’s not how the industry works. It’s a well-established rule in the industry is that no one reveals anyone else’s legal name. Yet despite that, there is still accountability. All my sponsors know my legal name, as do people I meet face-to-face at industry events (at least they know my first name – not always my last name – depends on how well I know them). If I do something it can get back to me – but it goes through a filter of people in the industry who understand my situation because they’re in the same situation themselves.

He then goes on to say that there is no expectation of privacy when you show up to public events (2:30). The thing is at those public events QMN’s legal name was never used. And I would bet the fact that he was from “a certain Asian country” and his mainstream profession were never mentioned either (at least not publicly). To say that, just because he showed his face publicly, EVERYTHING about him is now open for dissemination goes against the well-established rules our industry has lived by for decades. We have those rules because of the stigma mainstream society places on anything related to sex work. We don’t have an issue with what we do, but lots of other people do. Why Zach doesn’t get that, I don’t know.

He gets very specific about this point (3:00) “If you’re writing in a professional sense and you’re a blogger and a conveyor of information you are 100% open to being exposed in terms of what your name is and who you are”. That statement goes against everything our industry has lived by for 40+ years. It’s wrong. It’s dangerous. It hurts real people.

But then he goes on to say (4:00) that pornstars, on the other hand, “have an expectation of privacy … They don’t want their real names to get out because there are a lot of people who are stalkers. Porn stars are sex objects. They will literally stalk them and they will find out extremely personal information about them, their families, where they live… Scary stuff… And that’s why porn stars use porn names.” All I can say to that is “Dude, don’t you get it? YOU are QMN’s stalker. All those ‘scary things’ your talking about – you’re the one doing them!”

Then he goes on again to reiterate the point even more (4:36) “Porn bloggers are not porn stars, they’re bloggers. Just because they have the luxury of being behind a computer and never having to really show their face or their name… They’re not entitled to the same protections as pornstars who are putting their face and everything out on camera and who are objectified.” All I can say to that is I’m a blogger AND I’ve been in porn. Sure, I was only in one commercial porn video, but some consider it to be “the most important gay porn video ever made”. So some of us are both pornstars and bloggers. (Though I’m not sure I’d consider myself to be a porn STAR, but presumably he doesn’t mean that smaller porn stars don’t deserve the same protections as bigger porn stars.) And hell, privacy is clearly important to me – I even wore a mask when I was in porn. How much more clearly do I need to make the point about privacy?

But my having been in porn is irrelevant to whether I’m deserving of privacy. Sexually-based stalkers are not the only legitimate reason why someone would have a right to privacy. That’s basically saying that bloggers are too ugly to deserve privacy. All I can say to that is speak for yourself – just because you don’t think you’re sexually attractive enough to deserve privacy doesn’t mean I don’t deserve it, or QMN, or any of the other bloggers out there. Hell, if the United Nations thinks encryption is a human right, then we all have a fundamental right to privacy.

He tries to justify his actions by saying (5:25) “If you are publishing information online you are open to being exposed 100%. Sorry, that’s just the way it is. This is 2015.” But what he fails to ask is “is that a good thing?” And, “do I really want to be one of the mean girls who expose people?” Or maybe has asked those questions and he’s got so little going on in his life and so few prospects for the future that he doesn’t care about being exposed, and he knows he just is a mean girl, so he sees no problem with it.

His other point (5:55) seems to be that he’s free to violate the industry’s code of ethics because he thinks other people are doing things he thinks are unethical. That is completely the opposite of how people should act. It reminds me of the saying that “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth leaves everyone blind and toothless”. The only way we’ll have a better world is if each of us does our part to make the world better.

So what can you do to make a difference? It’s pretty simple – never click the links on “mean girl” blogs. That’s how Zach and Davyd (and bloggers in general) make their money. You can also make note of who his major sponsors are and simply not buy memberships at those sites. OR at least buy them only via clicking a link on a “good” site. (And by that I don’t mean one of the major tube sites – they’re the topic for a whole other blog post – but suffice it to say they’re a bigger problem than even Zach & Davyd).

And if you’re a porn star who has influence over some of Zach & Davyd’s major sponsors – say something! This is a privacy issue. And while it might not be your privacy that’s threatened today. That may not be the case tomorrow. And when your privacy is threatened in the future you’ll need people like porn bloggers coming to your rescue.

Unfortunately a week after all this inane drama started, not much has changed. Davyd took down two tweets that mentioned QMN’s real name. The hacker took down the post about QMN, and they’ve edited the article on the woman who worked at Treasure Island so it no longer contains her legal name. But it will continue to rank for her name since it once ranked for it in the past. And Zach continues to say he did nothing wrong. He’s even threatened to take a camera to industry-only events to continue to out QMN (and presumably people like me).

Unfortunately the eco-system in porn is so fragile that we can’t deal effectively with the bad players in our industry. The sponsors could end this quickly by dropping him, and a few have, but they’re probably ones that didn’t do much business with Zach/Davyd in the first place. His bigger sponsors won’t drop him because they have a responsibility to their producers to make money and dropping him means less money. And there are so few other big affiliates out there that it’s hard for other affiliates to force the sponsors to do much of anything. We might be able to get a sponsor or two to drop Zach, but I’m not sure that would change much of anything. And it sets a dangerous precedent that might makes right. Sponsors should just do the right thing because it’s right.

So the bottom line is where you click links matters. Clicking a link to a porn site means that site will get a cut of the revenue. You’re helping fund the site when you click the link. So don’t click if you don’t like the site. Don’t give the mean girls money to support their bad habits.

P.S.

Kudos to Banana Guide and The Sword (where Zach used to work) for doing blog posts that stood up to Zach & Davyd. I think a lot of folks in porn are scared to speak their mind because they don’t want what happened to QMN & the woman from TIM, happening to them.

P.P.S.

In the event Zach thinks he needs to out me so everyone “understands my motivations”… Let me just save him the effort and state them clearly…

I run this site and number of others (the two biggest of which are Breeding Zone and Raunchy Fuckers). I support myself entirely on income from the sites, so yes, making money is most definitely a goal of mine. Though, in all honesty, I probably make more money (on paper at least) through some smart real estate investments my husband and I have made over the years (starting before I got into porn), so these sites help, but they’re not solely responsible for everything I have.

And yes, there’s some “controversial” stuff on my sites – stuff like bug chasing. But it’s all consistent with my somewhat libertine belief that people should be able to do with their bodies as they please. I provide places like Breeding Zone where people can safely express their sexual fantasies. Talking about sex is a good thing. For example being able to safely admit to being a bug chaser provides the opportunity for others in the community to say “That’s fine, but are you sure? Maybe you should consider PrEP…” Where I draw the line is things that hurt others – especially non-consensual and/or permanent harm. So, I’m fine with someone being a gift giver, but not when the neg guy has stated he wants to stay neg and takes steps to try to stay that way. Or a guy can fantasize about stealthing all he wants, but my moderators and I try to keep real-life stealthing off Breeding Zone.

And yes, I have other things going on in my life to the point that I value my privacy. I wish the world didn’t stigmatize porn, other forms of sex work, being HIV+, etc. – and I literally work to break down those stigmas all the time, but there’s still plenty of stigma out there. So no, it’s not OK to “out” me just because you don’t approve of every little thing I do. That’s not what this industry stands for, and doing so doesn’t make the world a better place. Discuss my ideas, not my mother’s maiden name.

Despite the silence, I have been having sex…

admin — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 16:54:47 +0000

I apologize for not being better at blogging. The last loads I wrote up were loads 3 & 4 this year, but I’m actually up to load 14 so far in real life. A lot of the fucks have been at sex parties, so I’ve actually fucked more than I’ve cum – the number of times I’ve fucked stands at 57 so far this year. To put that in perspective, if I keep that same rate up I’ll give 45 loads this year and fuck 183 times. I know that load count is pretty low, but it is what it is. I’m just not always in the mood to fuck.

Let me do a quick rundown of the loads…

Load 5 – was at the CumUnion After Party. A guy was bent over in a dark corner and I just went up and fucked him and blew a load in his ass. I think he was Latino, but it was too dark to get a good look.

Load 6 – was given to the skinny black dude with the big dick from my neighborhood.

Load 7 – was with another black fuckbuddy of mine. I’ve been fucking him for years. He’s got this big muscley ass that always feels good on my dick.

Load 8 – was another black guy. This one was young and super skinny with a big fat cock.

Load 9 – was an anonymous pump-n-dump with a white cumdump in my neighborhood. A few weeks later I figured out it wasn’t the first time I’d fucked him

Load 10 – was given to this Middle Eastern guy who’s usually a top and almost never takes loads.

Load 11 – was at a sex party. It was sorta a slow party and finally I just went up to this black kid with a big ass and shoved my dick into him while he was on a bed sucking another guy. He complimented me on my dick and how I fucked when I was done, which was nice.

Load 12 – was at a hotel sex party/orgy. A guy was there who I’ve seen top at gangbangs and online, but he’s totally my type (short, Latino with a tight body) and he’s vers, so I fucked him and gave him a load.

Load 13 – was at a bathhouse. The bottom (Latino) had posted on BBRT that he was there looking for loads. His ass was shaved and stubbly, but regardless he was still the hottest bottom there, so he got my load.

Load 14 – was at a different bathhouse. That experience was frustrating. Bottoms were telling me “no thanks” despite the fact that they were on their stomachs and not getting any action. Finally I found one who was cute (short, smooth, Latino) and wanted to fuck so I fucked him and dumped a load in him.

So that makes 4 black guys, 4 Latinos, one Middle Eastern guy, and only 1 white guy. That’s sorta normal for me though – Latinos are my all-time favorite ethnicity to fuck, and I live in Harlem, so plenty of black guys to choose from. White guys just don’t turn me on as much – or their fatter, or something.

Tonight I’m going to another sex party, and this weekend I’m going out to Fire Island. We’ll see what trouble I can get into though it’ll be on the cold side while I’m there. I’ll try to post stuff on the blog in a more timely manner, but we’ll see…

The Perfect Bottom?

admin — Sat, 24 Jan 2015 15:31:00 +0000

Loads 2015-3&4

A guy who I fucked a little over a year ago contacted me recently saying he was coming to town. I didn’t think too much of it ’cause I had forgotten that I’d given him rave reviews back then. But he texted me a couple of days ago wanting to hookup, but the timing wasn’t good. So yesterday he came by. Last time I raved about his hole. This time I gotta say pretty much everything about him was perfect.

Since I last saw him he had grown a beard and it made him look really hot. (As much as I like a hot body, it’s not complete unless the guy has a nice face).

Then he took off his clothes and I was pleasantly surprised. He’d been going to the gym and bulking up. He was basically a little muscle cub. Just the right amount of hair in just the right places, and the slightest layer of fat that actually accentuated his muscle making him look slightly beefy. As I was looking at him naked I was thinking “why didn’t I remember this guy better?” Clearly he’s been working out pretty hard since we last fucked.

I should back up and say that I wasn’t all that sure about how I’d perform yesterday. I hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before. And I didn’t exactly have a raging hardon when I looked at porn, etc. AND I had fucked up my back on the lower back / glute machine a few days ago and was in pain much of the day. And then there was my huge failure as a top a few days before – that didn’t help either.

But… As soon as he was on all fours with his well-fucked hole pointed my direction my dick started to respond. I rimmed him until I was completely hard (didn’t take long), and then stood up and shoved in, and then quickly pushed him down on his belly.

I knew he had taken 3 loads before coming over. I hadn’t tasted them when I was (literally) sucking on his ass, but once I was in him his hole did feel a bit wet. I’ve been good about my New Year’s resolution to not jack off and only cum when I’m fucking someone. OK, I did give that oral load a few days before, but that wasn’t jacking off – a bottom did get the load (one way or the other). Anyway, I had a nice big 4 day load in my balls that needed to come out. Needless to say with a great hole on a really hot bottom, I didn’t last long.

After I came I rolled him on his side and continued to pump his ass until my dick went soft. We talked a bit, made out, and then I tried to fuck him a bit more but didn’t really have it in me. Then we kept talking and making out.

He had mentioned that the guys who’d fucked him earlier were porn stars. I asked who they were and it turns out it was Adam Russo and Cutler X. Which was funny because that was literally the blog post that had gone live on my porn blog that day – Adam & Cutler fucking Draven Torres. Substitute the Latino bottom I had in bed with me for Draven Torres and you pretty much had the scene on my porn blog. Cutler had given him one load and Adam had given him two. And lucky me, I got Adam & Cutler’s sloppy seconds!

Anyway, we kept talking and he was telling me about this one time when a top had told him to go to a bathhouse and take a bunch of loads and then go over to the top’s place so the top could fuck his cummy ass. He said he was really popular that night and got 12 loads in just a few hours at which point the top said to come over and he dumped two more load in him.

That story got me totally boned, so I climbed on top of him and kept fucking him again. The fucking went on a little longer this time and then I felt a load building up in my balls and then I blew a second load in his ass! It’s been just under two years since I last came twice in a session (including a fair number of sex parties).

According to him those were his 33rd & 34th loads of the year. So he’s on target for over 500 loads this year. I recommended he go to the CumUnion party, but it didn’t sound like he would – he had other plans. But I could totally have seen him getting another 8-10 loads there if he’d gone.

So I think this guy is pretty much my idea of the perfect bottom. He’s fairly short, Latino (both of which I like), younger than me (but not old enough to have his act together), muscular, attractive, a total slut, has a respectable job, is easy to talk to, and so on… To me that’s a pretty perfect package. I was surprised there was no ring on his finger. IMHO, he’s totally husband material – though he needs the type of husband that would love him for being a slut.

I think I’ll definitely be remembering him better next time he texts me saying he’s in town.

Gave First Oral Load In 20+ Years…

admin — Sat, 24 Jan 2015 14:37:53 +0000

Unfortunately this story is about a failure on my part. Monday was a holiday so when a hot little mid-20-something hit me up wanting a dark room pump-n-dump I sorta had to say yes.

I got there and his apartment was so dark I didn’t know where to go. I finally found the bedroom and he was ass up in a jockstrap. Totally my type – short, thin, young, and looked a bit Hispanic, though his profile said “White”. He said he already had 2 loads in him.

Part of me wonders how my life would be different if I had had the sexual freedom when I was young that that cumdump has now. To be honest, I’m a bit jealous of kids of his generation. But I digress…

Anyway, I didn’t intend to stay long, so I kept my clothes on – even my jacket. His hole was really nice, his body was just like I like it but (long story short), my dick just never quite responded. I tried a few times to fuck him when I was semi-hard, but he was tight and I couldn’t get in. I was thinking once I was in him I’d get harder, but I couldn’t get in him.

I gotta say he was an incredible bottom. He was completely patient. Most bottoms would have gotten frustrated, but not only was he not frustrated, he was rock hard the entire time.

Who knows why I didn’t get hard enough to fuck. I hadn’t taken a Cialis in quite a few days, but I was getting rock hard looking at porn just an hour or two earlier. Maybe it was my blood sugar or some other factor. Who knows.

Anyway, I finally laid down on the bed and rimmed his hole while we alternated between me jacking my cock and him sucking me. Then I felt my orgasm coming. I still wasn’t rock hard, but he got a pretty big load in his mouth.

I can literally count the number of times I’ve given an oral load on one hand, and probably have fingers left over. It’s probably been around 25 years since I last came in someone’s mouth. So there’s a chance I haven’t given an oral load since before the he was born. Sorta funny to think about it that way…

So I was (and am) frustrated. The whole thing feels like a huge failure. But at least the bottom got my load one way or another. Hopefully I can make it up to him at some point with a good and proper fuck. He deserves at least that much.

Lots Of Holes, But Just Two Loads…

admin — Thu, 15 Jan 2015 19:45:20 +0000

Loads 2015-1 & 2015-2

One of my goals this year is to go to more sex parties, bathhouses, etc. Basically more “public sex”. To that end I’ve been to three sex parties so far. I already wrote up the first sex party – a Friday night CumUnion where I fucked 17 guys. It was a lot of fun, but I didn’t cum. A week ago now I went to another sex party where I fucked 6 guys, but I still couldn’t cum. Or, if I did cum, I didn’t feel it (that happens more often than I’d like).

Then last weekend I went to another party and this time I just needed to cum. The first bottom I fucked was this lean guy with a beard. He had a nice body on him and a sweet ass. I think he already had some loads in him when I fucked him. Part of the problem at the other parties was the venue doesn’t have beds, so I can get bottoms down on their bellies like I like. But this place did have a bed, so I got him on his belly and once I figured out his hole was feeling good on my dick, I just concentrated on giving him my load and I came a couple minutes later. There were several strong spurts so I think he got a pretty nice big load. Of course, once I had cum my dick wasn’t super cooperative, but I still managed to fuck 4 other guys.

This week I’ve concentrated on getting work done, not sex, but once I had a 4 day load in my balls I needed to fuck someone. The black guy in the neighborhood hit me up. I warned him I hadn’t taken a Cialis, so wasn’t sure how hard I’d be, but I needed to cum and I was getting hard looking at porn – it just wasn’t the instant and thick boner I sometimes get with pills.

He came over and I stroked my dick while he did something in the bathroom. When he came out I was pretty much ready. I rimmed him briefly and got completely hard. Then I lubed him up with spit and tried to shove in. He was surprisingly tight. Took a couple tries to get in, but I finally managed. Then I put him on his belly and just concentrated on giving him a load. His hole feels different ways depending on how much sex he’s had recently. This time it was pretty tight and was gripping my shaft really nicely. It only took a few min before I blew a nice big load in him.

After I came we had a bit of a quiet moment sorta cuddling. Then I asked if he wanted to cum. He said yeah – apparently he hadn’t cum in a week… His dick was HUGE and rock hard. He jacked off and then put the head of his cock in me as he blew his load. Then he kept jacking ’cause his dick was staying hard and he thought he could beat out another load, but he never did manage to cum again. Still it was nice to go back to work with a load in me without having to really get fucked. The Bareback Brotherhood is about sharing DNA with each other, right?

So we’re two weeks into the year and I’ve only given two loads. I’m a little disappointed. Sorta wish I were at double that number, but I’m having fun. I mean I’ve fucked 30 holes this year many of which were nice and cummy… So my dick is seeing a fair amount of action. Now I just have to try to cum more often.

Most Porn Stars Can’t Cum Normally!

admin — Mon, 05 Jan 2015 22:03:24 +0000

I was chatting with a porn producer the other day on Skype and he told me that doing breeding videos with internal cumshots, was nearly impossible because so many of the porn stars these days inject trimix, and 80% of the guys who inject can’t manage to cum when they’re fucking – they have to pull out and jack off to cum! (Which is sorta sad, IMHO). So I asked another (well-known) producer and he hadn’t thought about it, but as he thought it over he thought it was probably true.

I’ve noticed that trimix is sorta taking over porn. When one studio shot at my house the producer offered all the models an injection of trimix before they started. And in some of the other scenes I’ve watched the more “professional” porn stars (aka full-time escort tops), bring their own needles and trimix to the shoot. Yes, they had rock hard cocks for hours, but losing the ability to cum makes me wonder…

I know there are times when I wish I could stay hard for hours – namely when I go to sex parties. I’ve thought of talking to my doctor about it, but I hate needles. I used to actually blackout when I got injections. I’m better, but can’t really look at the needle when they’re doing things like drawing my blood. So I doubt it would be a good idea for me to stick a needle in my cock at the beginning of a sex party. [It also explains one of the many reasons why I’m not an IV drug user.]

However, I’m thinking of talking to my doctor about Muse when I go in for my quarterly PrEP check-up in a couple weeks. Muse is a suppository you put up your urethra. It’s more or less the predecessor to trimix – not quite as effective, and doesn’t require injection. Not sure if it causes the same problems with cumming like trimix, but at sex parties it’s fun just to see how many guys you can get your dick in. Cumming is optional (though nice).

So next time you see a breeding video with internal cumshots – give those tops a bit more respect. They’re doing something most porn stars can’t do.

Year-End Wrap Up & New Year Resolutions

admin — Sat, 03 Jan 2015 22:32:58 +0000

I knew going into last year that it would be a slow year sexually, and it was. I only gave 29 loads. 21 of those loads were given to guys I’d never fucked before (or don’t remember fucking – lol). I fucked holes 41 times, so that’s a failure rate of 29%, but realize those failures include things like fucking guys at bars when I’m a little drunk, and times when I encountered a dirty ass (which tends to end things rather abruptly).

But that’s not the worst year. In 2011 I only gave 23 loads and in 2006 & 2007 I was lower as well – 21 and 24 loads, respectively. I mean a really good year for me is 50-70 loads. So I hit half that mark.

Even though the circumstances of this year will be a lot like last year, my resolution is to improve things substantially over last year. I want to go to at least one sex party or bathhouse every week. I know there will be weeks when that’s impossible, so if I miss a week, then I need to catch up over the next week or two.

But the biggest resolution is to only cum when I’m fucking someone. I’ve tried that one before and failed pretty quickly, but gonna try it again. One way I’m modifying it is that if I’m unable to have sex (sick, recovering from an STD, etc.) then I’m going to allow myself to jack off into a condom and freeze it. (Never say rawTOP is against condoms – they’re great for storing cum, and are even decent cock rings if you break out the end. I just don’t see the point of fucking with one.) That’s going to be the hardest resolution to keep since I’ve been jacking off a lot this past year.

So far this year has started off really well and really poorly. I went out of town and visited bathhouses and bars with backrooms. Then I continued that when I got back to NY and went to CumUnion last night. It was a raw top’s wet dream. I fucked 17 guys, and could easily have fucked twice that many if my dick had been up to the task. I saw only one top rubber up the entire time, and another one ask a bottom if it was OK (and got refused). EVERYONE was taking raw dick – at least it seemed that way. You could just pull out and stick it in the next waiting hole. BUT I didn’t cum. I might have been able to early on, but if I had done that I would have lost my sexual mojo and not been able to fuck as many guys. As it was I only lasted 3 1/2 hours and I skipped the last 2 hours of the party. I think I could have fucked 50 guys if I had injected trimix at the beginning of the night (but I hate needles).

Then I went to the Eagle and this bottom bent over to suck the dick of a guy near me and had his ass up in the air. So I spit on my dick and shoved in making that the 18th hole of the night. I was actually surprised I could fuck when I was drinking, but I did pretty well at it. Security was light last night, so I was able to fuck for a while right out in the open (across from the 2nd floor bar – if you know the space).

The problem is, I had been wondering since Thursday if I had an STD. There were moments where my dick didn’t feel quite right, and there were times when it would burn when I pissed. But not all the time. Since there was no discharge I was hoping it wasn’t an STD, so this morning I went to the Saturday drop-in STD clinic at Callen-Lorde to get it checked out. There was no discharge when I woke up in the morning, but when I pulled down my pants for the doctor my PA hole was filled with a thick yellowy-green puss. The doctor didn’t quite understand Prince Alberts and was confused why there was puss there (lol), but that clearly indicated I have gonorrhea. So, I was treated on the spot.

So, if you were one of the 18 guys I fucked last night, or even one of the guys who sucked my dick – go get checked out. (Sorry).

This means I’m now in the capture-the-load phase since I can’t fuck for a little while. I assume freezing the cum kills the gonorrhea. But honestly I haven’t been all that horny today, and I’ll try not to jack off too much this week, but it’s already a 4 day load, so I’m gonna have to jack off at some point.

More Progress @ The Gym

admin — Mon, 10 Nov 2014 00:47:57 +0000

Well, It’s been 6 months now that I’ve been going to the gym. It’s funny how stats and even pictures don’t really quite capture the progress. I mean, look at the two pics below… The lighting is better in the after pic, but it’s hard to really see the progress…

The angle view shows things a lot better, but that’s in part to getting just the right shadows in the after pic that accentuate things.

I’m actually working on a small fitness site. More about that later, but you can see all the numbers for me on the site (the site is still in development, so some things are less than perfect). But the sum total is that I’ve gone down in weight, gone down in body fat, but not all that much on either count. I actually wanna get a better body fat scale. The one I have just measures the fat in the legs – which hasn’t changed all that much.

More than anything I can feel the difference – there’s just more muscle there when I feel different parts of my body. And people are starting to comment on the change as well. I think I look healthier and more athletic. In fact Max Sohl stopped by the other day and later commented that “You carry it well”. (“It” being my weight). I’m definitely in better shape heart-wise. It was a bit scary how bad I was at cardio 6 months ago. Given my family history of heart disease, that’s important.

I’m actually stepping things up a bit. Going to the gym more frequently for shorter workouts. That results in me burning more calories. But I need to burn the weight in a way where I don’t lose lean mass.

But slowly I’m getting there. It’s just a matter of time and determination to keep it up.

Neg Guys Are Anon Cumdumps Now Too!

admin — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 17:24:37 +0000

Load 2014-27

Once again today I got hard really easily. It’s been 3-4 days since I took a Cialis – I’m starting to think maybe going to the gym is helping in that department too. Which would be great if it’s true.

Anyway, I figured I’d see if there were any cumdumps available for a quickie load (since I needed to get back to work). This 20-something in my neighborhood hit me up. He wanted a dark room, blindfolded sort of scene. His profile said he was neg, but poz friendly since he was on PrEP. He gave me his address and said to be there in a half hour.

I know one other anonymous cumdump bottom who advertises he’s neg – but he’s actually poz. In the past if you liked being an anonymous cumdump you just had to accept that you were going to become poz (if you weren’t already) – it just came with the territory.

But things are different now – neg guys are discovering that they don’t have to be so inhibited. If they just get themselves on PrEP they can be the kind of pig they always wished they could be. I can’t say if the guy is actually neg and on PrEP (I didn’t go through his medicine cabinet), but I suspect he is. Gotta say it’s great for tops like me – expands the field of good, willing bottoms.

I get there right when I said I’d get there and the front door of his building was wide open. I go in, ring his doorbell and he comes and unlocks it and leaves it ajar (but doesn’t open it). I’ve done this scene enough times to know that means I need to wait a sec before going in. When I do open the door, I see him with his back to me, turning down the brightness of the light and bending over the bed.

I went over, took off my coat and just unbuttoned my pants. It was a pump-n-dump and taking my clothes off and then putting them back on again could double the amount of time I would spend there.

I got down and started rimming him. His hole was a little stubbly, but I did that just long enough to get hard enough to fuck. Then I got up and tried to push in. My dick missed his hole. Tried again. Then finally had to feel where his hole was and use those fingers to guide my cock. But my cock still wouldn’t go in! For an anonymous cumdump he was surprisingly tight.

I did finally get in. His hole felt good. It was at that point that I noticed he was blindfolded. I always love that He started getting a little verbal, but not so much so that it was a turn off. I had come less than 24 hours before, so I was little worried I might not be able to cum. I could feel my orgasm building, but was still worried it might a “dry” orgasm. I wasn’t completely convinced I was going to be able to give him a load. About that time he starting saying stuff like “give me that big load” and I was just hoping I could give him any load.

But the load did finally come. Probably not my biggest load, but I could feel 2-3 good squirts go up his hole. Then I stood up, checked my dick for “dirt” and shoved my cummy cock back into my jeans and I was on my way…

He’s relatively close to me. Hope I can make him a regular…

Finally Fucked A Guy YEARS Later…

admin — Mon, 27 Oct 2014 14:13:10 +0000

Load 2014-26

There’s a guy who’s been hitting me up for YEARS. I’m not exactly sure how long it’s been, but I have a note on his profile from 2 years ago saying he’s been trying to hookup with me for a while and it never works out. So I think it was years at that point, and now it’s years after that…

But backing up… There was this big beefy black guy I fucked a week ago. I didn’t write it up ’cause I couldn’t cum. I sorta came close, but it just wasn’t working. I don’t know what it is about beefy guys – I have a really horrible track record with them.

Yesterday (Sunday) I just felt like programming so I worked most of the day. I’ve been working on two sites – S3X.Social & S3X.Fitness. S3X Social is a site that’s sort of a productivity site for me that I’ll share with others to use. (If you share pics on Twitter or Tumblr you’ll find it useful – when I get it finished that is…). And S3X Fitness will be tied in with the hookup sites I’m working on (data entered in Fitness will update your profiles on the hookup sites, checkins at gyms can show up on the hookup sites, etc.) Basically, those two sites are pretty simple concepts that I’m using to get up to speed before delving deep into the hookup sites. I’m learning a lot – it’s finally to the the point where it’s fun and rather absorbing.

Anyway, in the middle of working on the “Login with Twitter” feature I went to post a pic on Tumblr (a task that should be handled by S3X Social), and pulled out my dick and jacked a bit. I was surprised to find that I got a rock hard erection pretty quickly. (I had taken a Cialis Thursday or Friday – I figured it would have worn off by then). I then realized I hadn’t cum in a couple days, so I figured I’d spend a little time looking for a hole to fuck. I needed to do it right then because I wanted to go to the gym in a few hours (it was a full week since I’d been last – busy with programming…), and I’m always dead tired after the gym – so it was now or never.

For the middle of the day on a weekend, the pickings were surprisingly slim. There were a few guys who wanted to hookup but most of them wanted to fuck me and then maybe flip. That totally wasn’t my mood – I just wanted to fuck a hole. About the most I was up to otherwise was if they wanted to jack off into my ass. But I had zero desire to actually get fucked.

Then the guy I mentioned above hit me up. We were finally online and looking at the same time. Honestly, I couldn’t tell too much from his pics. There were no body shots. But his height/weight was proportionate and he seemed decent otherwise. (The lack of clarity in his pics was probably one of the main reasons why I hadn’t hooked up with him for so many years).

All I really knew about his was that he was submissive. I didn’t really know what he wanted from me. But given that he was the only good bottom who was close and looking right then, I didn’t bother negotiating how things would go. He was a sub, and I’d just do what was best for me. Hopefully it was somewhat close to what he wanted.

He shows up and, IMHO, didn’t look anything like his pics. I wouldn’t say he looked worse. In some ways he may have even looked better. Maybe the pics were old. Maybe it was because he’d shaved his head since then. I’m not sure, but he looked different. Either way, he was there, decent enough looking, and I needed to fuck a hole…

After we stripped down he gave me a blowjob. But he was working the head of my dick a lot which was actually a bit overly sensitive. I had put my big ring in my PA a few days ago and it got a bit irritated and has been overly sensitive since then. Anyway, the pain from the blowjob was on the verge of making me go soft, so I stopped him and had him get on the bed on all fours, so I could rim him.

I didn’t rim him for all that long. He seemed to like it, but I just wanted to fuck and dump a load. So I lubed him up with spit and shoved in. In that position his hole was a bit high for me, so I got him to lay down on his belly. I fucked him with his legs spread, then I straddled one leg, and finally I had him put his legs together.

The fuck seemed to push his limits a bit pain-wise. I couldn’t tell if he was enjoying it or enduring it. So at first I held back a little hoping he’d get used to it. But after a bit I just fucked as hard as I felt like fucking. Right when I was starting to feel my orgasm build he twisted his torso to look back at me. I couldn’t quite tell the intention of his looking at me. I suspected he was on the verge of complaining that it was too hard of a fuck. I just shook my head ‘no’ once, and he got the message and put his head back down. Less than a minute later he was rewarded with a nice, big, multi-day load.

Then I rolled him over so we were on our sides, spooning, with my dick still up his ass as I caught my breath.

I don’t think I was verbal enough for the guy. At least two times during the hookup he asked if I was OK. Yes, I was a bit distant. My mind was wondering off to coding stuff. But I think he wanted to be told how he should please me. But giving commands wasn’t really what I wanted to do right then.

After I got soft and pulled out, he wanted to rim me. I hadn’t cleaned down there at all, and can’t remember the last time I really enjoyed being rimmed, so I politely refused the offer. Then he tried to give me another blowjob – but my dick was even more sensitive than before – so I stopped that after a bit. I didn’t really want much of anything. A neck/shoulder massage would have been nice, but the chemistry between us wasn’t quite right, so I didn’t bother mentioning it.

A little while later we ended things. I think he wanted more time and intimacy from me. But instead he just got what I felt like giving that day – my load. I needed a hole and he was my hole.

A Bucket List Fuck…

admin — Sun, 19 Oct 2014 14:42:34 +0000

There were three loads I didn’t write up plus some other fucks where I didn’t cum, so I’ll just summarize those really quickly before getting on to the fuck from a couple days ago…

7 weeks ago I went to a sex party with my bf and this hot black guy we’ve both fucked. I fucked 4 guys, but couldn’t manage to cum. The party was mostly oral – could have been better, but at least I got to fuck some hole. And yes, going with my bf marks a good transition in our relationship. Now we just need more friends like the black guy – where sex is part of the friendship with the guy (my bf and I tend to like different types of guys).

Load #22 was with my muscular Latino fuck bud. He’s one of my favorite fuck buddies. Totally my type, but the sex is pretty much always the same with him – just quickie pump-n-dumps – so not much to report. That was a month and a half ago now.

Load #23 was at bear night at a bathhouse. A lean cumdump Latino was ass up on his bed. He didn’t look back to see my face the whole time I fucked him. He just took the fuck and the load and then I left. That was just over a month ago now. Unfortunately he was pretty much the only guy there I wanted to fuck, so nothing else to report.

Load #24 was a bit of a disaster. I couldn’t get fully hard. I’m sure the bottom thought I was a lame fuck, but I did manage to nut in his ass. But in the grand scheme of things I’d rather give a load with a semi-hard cock than not give a load with a rock hard cock. That was about 3 weeks ago.

The next day I hosted a sex party. Just a few guys came, unfortunately. I fucked 3 guys but didn’t manage to cum (probably because I came the day before and was edging all day). Unfortunately I think one of those guys gave me gonorrhea. So getting that treated put me out of commission for a week. (And yes, I did let the guys at the party know – guys always appreciate it when you do).

Load 2014-25

I know 25 loads isn’t all that much – especially this far into the year. My spreadsheet tells me I’m only going to manage 31 for the year. But I figured it would be like that when the year started. The last month or two, especially, I just feel like programming. Programming is a pretty solitary activity – so when I’m in that mindset, I’d often rather jack off than deal with people. In fact, I haven’t even done a good job of moderating Breeding Zone – it feels like a distraction most days. But I’m learning a lot and starting to see the light the end of the tunnel on my projects – though the light is still pretty far down the tunnel.

On Friday I took a Cialis in the morning thinking I would hookup this weekend. (Cialis tends to work best for me the next day). But the end of the day came and I just wanted a break from all the work. The Cialis had kicked in and I was as hard as a rock. I needed a hole to fuck, so I went online.

A couple hours later the hole arrived He was this 30-ish guy who’s been reading my blog since the very beginning 8 years ago. I think years ago we had tried to hookup and never actually did. Then he moved away, and now he’s back. We’ve been texting on and off for a number of months. I’m guessing I’m on his bucket list or something.

Best way I can describe him is that he looks like the type of guy you’d see in South Boston or New Jersey. I’m guessing Irish or Italian. Very “boy-next-door” – cute face, with a bit of a working class vibe about him (though that’s a gross stereotype that probably has no basis in reality).

When he took off his clothes he was pretty smooth, big boned, and “soft” but not fat. His dick, soft, was really small – but that’s something I like – makes the guy more of a bottom in my eyes.

We kissed a little, then he gave me a brief blowjob. But what I really wanted was his ass, so it wasn’t long before I had him on all fours and was rimming his hole. Did that for a little bit and then lubed up my cock and shoved in. I have relatively short legs, and he had pretty long legs so fucking doggy position didn’t really work, so I got him down on his belly and kept fucking.

His hole felt like a big open cavern. It’s funny how asses can be so different. Some are tight muscular tunnels that massage the whole length of my dick. But with him there was the sphincter and then nothing. I never asked, but I suspect he’s a fisting bottom or uses a lot of large toys on his hole.

But I did keep “hitting bottom” so the head of my dick was getting the attention it needed (which is what I think makes me cum). Different holes -> different styles of fucking. With him I was doing pretty long strokes and coming down semi-hard on top of him. Every time I did there was this loud slapping sound as my body hit his ass. It was pretty loud and I wondered whether I should change things up to be a little quieter, but my dick felt good, so I just continued on.

I knew he didn’t want me to rush it, so when I felt my orgasm building I just kept my pace steady to try to draw it out a little – but not so long that the moment would pass and I wouldn’t cum. Then it came. Felt good to finally give a load after not fucking for 2 1/2 weeks. He told me later that it was a pretty big load.

Then we rolled over on our sides and thanks to the Cialis my dick stayed pretty hard for a long time. So I just pumped in and out of his now cummy hole. Felt really good. Then 5-10 minutes later the cum must have found it’s way deeper into his hole or something ’cause it stopped being so wet and silky. I continued to fuck him, but my dick started to go soft.

When I finally pulled out. He had asked me before coming over whether I wanted to take his poz load. I had told him I might be up for him jacking off and putting the head of his cock in my ass as he came. He was rock hard when I pulled out (and not as small as I initially thought he’d be). I think he wanted me to blow him, but I generally hate oral sex. Plus I had blown my load and my sexual energy was a lot more mellow at that point. He said jacking off doesn’t really do it for him, so that meant that was sort of the end of things. It wasn’t a bad thing – just was what it was.

All in all it was a good fuck, but given the looseness of his hole I’m guessing he’s someone I need to fuck when I’ve recently taken Cialis. I doubt his hole would have gotten me off if I wasn’t 100% hard. With him I need to hit bottom, and that takes length and perfect hardness. Luckily we fucked on a day when that was the case.

Ugh! Bad Bottoms…

admin — Wed, 17 Sep 2014 02:39:50 +0000

Well, the last few days my attempts to give loads have run up against bad bottoms that sorta defeat my best intentions.

Sunday I was at the Eagle and was out in the backyard with a few friends. This skinny tattooed guy came out and hung out like he knew us – listening to our rather frank/personal discussion. Finally I just introduced myself. Then we continued on our conversation – but he still just stood there and listened. Finally he started getting frisky with one of my friends – grinding his ass into my friend’s crotch. Next thing I knew the back of his shorts were down and my friend was fucking him. It was sorta hot and I repositioned myself next to them so I could watch a bit more closely.

Then, right when things were getting hot and heavy, one of the barbacks comes out with a bunch of trash and castigates the guys saying “You can’t do that here! You’re on camera” – and he points to the camera right above them. My friend pulls out and my other friends start chatting with the barback – seems they knew him pretty well.

As soon as the barback was gone my friend didn’t seem interested in fucking anymore and he wandered away and the bottom started paying attention to me – he wanted to suck my dick which he did briefly but I told him I wanted to fuck. We got into a corner, away from the cameras (with friends watching the door), and the guy bent over and I spit on my dick ans shoved in.

Pretty soon I started smelling shit. I was hoping it wasn’t too bad. I kept fucking to see if I could cum quickly, but it wasn’t happening and the smell of shit was getting stronger. So I pulled out and my dick was covered in it. I had my 2 gauge PA in (the curved barbell, not th ring), and that only made things messier. I told him about the problem and he kept apologizing profusely. I told him I needed something to clean up with – preferably something moist. He disappeared and then one of my friends said he’d go get something. (The mark of a true friend is when they fetch clean up stuff when you’re in a situation like that). Meanwhile I was pissing – hoping that would clean things a little. But there was no way I was shoving a shit-covered dick back into my pants where it would mess up my pants.

My friend came back with a bunch of napkins. They helped a lot. I used the bottom’s beer for moisture. And generally got things more or less clean. Then the bottom came back with a little towel that was moist. It would never have been adequate on its own, but I was impressed he’d show his face again in order to make things better.

So that attempt to give a load ended rather disastrously. Unfortunately, tonight didn’t go any better.

Today I was in the mood to fuck and there were two gangbangs listed on BBRT. I did a request for both since what’s motivating me as a top lately is cummy holes and the best way to fuck a cummy hole is at a gangbang. I was a little surprised when the one guy who had 60+ attendees didn’t approve me. Maybe he was feeling overwhelmed with responses or something – who knows? But I was happy when, ‘TigerBeat’ a hot, late-20-something bottom approved me for his gangbang. I replied letting him know when I would try to get there, and he replied back something like “sounds good”.

I headed down a few minutes earlier than I had originally planned. He lived in the Lower East Side, so it was a bit of a hike – but the idea of a hot guy with a cummy hole made the trip worth it. I get there and ring the buzzer and heard a crackle on the intercom, but the door didn’t open. Then a guy came out of the building with his laundry and he let me in. I went up to the apartment (a 5th floor walk-up) and before I could ring the doorbell the door opened. The guy was in his underwear (nice tight body), there was music in the background, and he said something like “Sorry, I sent you an email asking you not to come”. Ugh! Seriously? He went on to say he knew about my blog and he “respected me, but [he] needed to be discreet”. All I could think to say was “Are you sure?” He was, so I turned around and left.

But in hindsight that’s total bullshit. I mean I look better in person than I do in my pics. If he wasn’t me, then he shouldn’t have approved me, given me his address, AND responded positively to my confirmation. There were plenty of chances to say “don’t come” prior to when I logged off. And the whole discretion thing… Please, discreet bottoms don’t post gangbang ads. Discreet bottoms don’t have public profiles with pics.

I protect the identities of the guys I fuck. The only time I mention a guy’s profile name / stage name is when he’s a porn star or he wants me to, and then I make a point to only say good things about him. A few times guys have told their friends that I fucked them and then the friends have figured out which write-up was about their friend. But that wasn’t me telling making the ID – that was the bottom giving out too many details. But when the guy makes me travel over an hour (round trip) for absolutely nothing – then I don’t really feel the need to (completely) protect his identity. So if discretion and anonymity was TigerBeat’s objective – then his plan backfired. You all now know who stood me up, and now that I’ve linked to it, Google will index his profile.

Ugh! I really hate bad bottoms. Seriously guys – if you’re grinding you ass on guys’ crotches at a bar – make sure you’re clean, and if you invite someone to a gangbang – don’t turn them away when they get there… Where is Miss Manners when we need her?

Slow Progress @ The Gym

admin — Thu, 11 Sep 2014 20:00:36 +0000

Well, I’ve been going to the gym for about 4 months now. It’s sorta weird – I notice a change. My boyfriend notices a change. But my weight has only gone down 2 or 3 pounds and the body fat percentage my scale reports is pretty much the same – maybe 1 or 2 percent less. The change you see in the pics is sorta minor, but it’s there…

Lighting and color are better, and I guess you can see a bit more definition in my shoulders and my gut doesn’t look as big.

Once again – the difference in those pics is slight, but there is progress. It’s like a bit of my weight has shifted from my belly to my pecs and shoulders and I’m just a bit less dumpy.

Where I see the biggest progress is in my ass. I really hated how it looked before, now it’s getting close to “OK” – though it still clearly has a ways to go…

So every so slowly I’m whipping myself into shape. I know I could work harder – both exercise-wise and diet-wise – and get faster results like I did back in 1997, but the pace I’m going is sustainable, and that’s more important than anything. The worst scenario is that I burn out and stop going to the gym.

My boyfriend is away thru Monday morning. Part of me wants to be a big slut while he’s gone, but a bigger part of me just wants a quiet, relaxes, productive weekend. To that end I think I’ll skip the sex party tonight and instead go to the gym and stay in, relax and do a little work. Boring, I know, but in a way body and work come before sex these days. I’ll do some parties on Friday and Saturday…