I really need to up the number of loads I’m giving. Three in a month isn’t great at all… But part of it is my dick being unpredictable for some reason.

A couple of weeks ago I hooked up with this clean-cut muscled jock guy who I fucked last year. Back then he was a bug chaser, now his BBRT profile list him as “positive”, so his efforts were successful . I got hard enough to fuck him and he was loose enough I could fuck him with my PA in, but I pretty quickly I could tell I wasn’t going to be able to maintain it and definitely wouldn’t be able to cum – so I gave up. Meanwhile he had been rock hard the entire time, so I asked if he wanted to jack off and put just the head of his dick in my hole as he came. He quickly said yes, and like 15-20 seconds later he was blowing his load in my ass. Even just taking the head was painful (he’s got a pretty big dick for a bottom), but it was hot. I was then rock hard and wanted to go back to fucking him, but he said he can’t get fucked after cumming . I need to do another session with him. He’s a great piggy fuck. I’ve since learned he gets into fisting – so that could be fun. I feel like I need to get back into the other forms of raunchy sex – BDSM, fisting, piss…

Then a week ago I went over to fuck this black guy who’s a few blocks from me. We hadn’t really talked about how it would go… I knocked on his door and then I think I heard him say “come in”, so I tried and the door was open. I go in and there’s this gorgeous black muscle guy, blindfolded, ass up, face down on the bed. Long story short I rimmed him for a LONG time, then fucked him for a LONG time (like 20-30 minutes) – occasionally pulling out to rim him some more. BUT I was never quite as hard as I wanted to be and I couldn’t cum. He was really into my PA. For part of the fuck I did keep my PA in, but then took it out. When it was all over I apologized for it not being my best fuck and not cumming, and that didn’t seem to bother him at all. He wants hookup again (hit me up yesterday saying he was available on Saturday – but I’m not available then unfortunately). Anyway – he’s another one I need to hookup with again…

Then a day or two after that fuck I came across a guy on Sniffies who was really close to me. I couldn’t tell much from his pic, but figured he was so close it was worth a shot. He turned out to be this cool, young, mixed-race, scruffy guy. But there wasn’t really a good place to fuck at his apartment and he was really oral and didn’t like being rimmed. Oral does nothing for me and my dick chose that moment to go to sleep so I couldn’t get hard enough to fuck him. And I would have had to be hard as a rock to get in his ass – he was super tight. So we gave up and chatted a bit instead…

After fucking the first guy I had jacked off the next morning, but then told myself I was going to try (once again) to not jack off and only cum when I was fucking some bottom. But after repeated failed attempts I gave up and jacked off the morning after hooking up with the oral guy.

Yesterday I FINALLY managed to breed someone. A couple of options didn’t work out, but there was a guy who was in the general neighborhood who said he was free and could come over. He used to be one of my regulars. I first fucked him 10 years ago, but haven’t fucked him in 6 years. In the past he was one of the guys who’d gotten into “race play” with me, but we didn’t “go there” this time. He used to have a really tight body – now he’s still lean, but not “tight” – which is no big deal. I was a bit wary of how clean he was so I figured I’d finger him before rimming him. When I fingered his hole the inside of his ass was felt rough / beat up. I’m guessing he’s got anal warts.

[70% of gay guys between the ages of 16 and 30 have HPV, and that number just goes up as they get older. Once you’ve got HPV you can’t get rid of it, but you also can’t get reinfected. So if you’ve gotten HPV it’s safe to play with other guys who have HPV. There is a vaccine available. If you don’t have HPV – get vaccinated!]

Anyway the condition of his ass put me off wanting to rim him. So I just used spit and a little lube and fucked him as soon as I was hard enough to fuck. I initially tried fucking him with my PA, but couldn’t get it in his ass easily, so took it off and went back to fucking. The guy’s a sweet guy, but in that moment he was just a piece of meat with a hole in it that I could use to cum. I couldn’t quite get into a position that felt great, and I was starting to think I might not be able to cum, but then I felt it building up and a few moments later I was blowing a load in his ass.

I think part of the reason why my dick isn’t completely cooperating is my choice of ED meds. A few years ago the meds were all branded but the clinic I go to had a great deal on Levitra – so I used that. But I had always liked Cialis better, so when they went generic I went back to Cialis. I thought 5mg would be enough – so that’s the size pill I asked for. I’m now thinking it’s not enough, or that Levitra is actually better for me. The last hookup I took 5mg of Cialis and then took part of a Levitra as well – and I had no problem cumming even when things were less than perfect. So I need to experiment a bit – see if a higher dose of Cialis will work or whether I should go back to Levitra (or do some blended approach like yesterday).

So while I only gave 3 loads this past month, I have fucked 6 guys which isn’t too bad. I’m hoping to fuck a couple/few guys this weekend since it’s Pride, but then I have a family trip with no chance to fuck. When I get back I hope to do a lot more fucking. I wouldn’t say the pandemic is over, but it’s time to get back to being a slut…

There’s a lot I could say about what’s been going on with me, but not quite ready to share all the gory details quite yet. One thing I will say is that I really miss the risk there used to be with barebacking – back before there was PrEP. I used to really get off on a neg bottom just trusting/hoping I was neg. It always amazed me that a bottom’s desire to be bred was stronger than their desire to stay neg. I mean I came out in 1989 – so for the first 7 years of my gay life sex was synonymous with risk – and bareback fucking was extremely high risk – it could literally kill you. So for me sex has always been a game of calculated risk.

Now with PrEP there’s basically no risk – other than with run-of-the-mill STIs that can be cured it’s all pretty much safe sex these days – which isn’t nearly as fun. Mind you, the “safe sex” feels 100x better these days than it did back in the day with condoms, but it’s lacking the edge. Among other things, I’m wondering if I should get back into BDSM and find a pain pig…

Suffice it to say COVID didn’t help my sex life. After having gone through the whole AIDS epidemic I’m wary of deadly infectious diseases that aren’t well understood. Plus, being 50-something with hypertension puts me at a bit of risk. So I just stepped back for a while. I did do some hookups last year, but not nearly as many as I would have liked. And this year Omicron made the infection rate shoot up really high. Just when it was getting low enough for me to feel comfortable it went up again.

That said, this isn’t two years ago, or even a year ago. They do understand the basics of COVID now and I’m probably really low risk since I’m 4x vaxxed. So can’t say I’ll be going to crowded bars or sex clubs any time soon, but I’m gonna start trying to do more one-on-ones, and maybe mix it up with quiet nights at the Eagle on the off chance it’s cruisy.

A couple weeks ago I fucked a few guys…

First guy was a gangbang at “that hotel” everyone’s using these days for gangbangs. There was another top in there fucking the guy when I got there. Both the top and the bottom were really verbal in a way that seemed forced and weird. The top was good about letting me step in and fuck. It seemed like he had been there for a while and was in no hurry to leave. I started fucking the guy with my PA in. But the room was really really hot and it was clear I couldn’t cum. So I took a break, took my PA out, and jacked a bit while trying to cool down. Then I went at it again, but I was overheating and could tell I’d never cum. So I gave up, went into the bathroom and tried to dry myself off with paper towels and then I left.

The next day I still needed to cum so I had this black guy over who I’ve fucked before (9! years ago). He’s aged, but he still had a great body – short, muscular – just how I like my bottoms 😉 I needed to cum so badly I didn’t last long. I felt a little bad about it. But I continued to pump his ass until I went soft, then we laid kinda spooning while I felt him up – which he seemed to like. For family reasons he’s in my neighborhood pretty regularly, so I’m hoping he’ll become a regular fuck buddy.

Then a few days later I was out in the Pines for Memorial Day weekend. I was supposed to hookup in the Meat Rack with this bottom off Twitter (who’s neg and not on PrEP ), but the Meat Rack is basically a huge maze and I wasn’t specific enough about where to meet, so about when I needed to get back I came across this bottom (fairly lean, probably 40-something with really short salt-n-pepper hair) bent over taking dick with one or two other guys waiting to fuck him. I joined the cue, the top who was fucking him came in his ass, and an older top started fucking him. But the bottom wasn’t really into the older guy (even though he had a nice dick), so he turned and planted his ass on my dick. Given the scene it was no big deal that I came pretty quickly. Problem was when I pulled out there was shit on my dick. Luckily I had brought some paper towels to clean up with. When I said “Shit, he’s dirty” all the tops except the older guy left. Either the older guy didn’t hear me or he didn’t mind fucking a dirty hole.

Hopefully tomorrow I’ll fuck the hot bug chaser I fucked last year. Thing is with bug chasers I’m often not sure if they’re actually bug chasers or just pretending to be a bug chaser. His profile now says “positive” (not “undetectable”) – not sure if that means he’s actually tested poz or that he hasn’t tested and he’s just assuming he’s poz. I’ll ask after I breed him. I like the idea of fucking a toxic ass – especially on a hot guy – it give me the element of risk I’ve been missing…

Yesterday I did a quick hookup with a completely anonymous bottom who lived a few blocks away. There were no pics in his profile. No stats other than age. He wanted to be ass up head down and have no clue who I was (and for me to have no clue who he was). We texted back and forth and he told me his age (mid-20s), height and weight, but that’s all I knew. He had mentioned he wanted to video. I never really confirmed I was OK with it, but knew he’d be fine if I filmed him. I took my hood along so if he did do a video he wouldn’t be able to actually have anything too revealing.

What’s curious when you have video is to see how quick the pump-n-dumps really are. I know back in the day I was doing pump-n-dumps that were as little as 7 minutes from walking in the door to walking out. This one was probably just as quick.

I went into his apartment, got my hood on, and then went into his bedroom. where he was ass up with his head covered. I started rimming him and it was sorta hard to get to his hole, but after a little bit he started pushing his hole out and it was able to rim him better.

He had said he took 7 loads the night before. I was worried he wouldn’t be cleaned so I asked him to clean out a little. Well, he definitely didn’t taste dirty – instead it tasted like flavored lube. Total time rimming him was 1 min and 45 seconds – just long enough to get me hard and ready to fuck.

Then I stood up and fucked him. The way he was positioned on his bed I knew having him get on his belly probably wasn’t an option without uncovering his face and ruining the whole point of the scene. But I was surprised how good it felt and how quickly I came. I literally came in 45 seconds.

I then fucked him for another 45 seconds – just to feel my dick in his cummy hole.

And then it was over. I went back out into his living room, took off my hood, put on my shorts and left.

Slam. Bam. Thank you ma’am…

After I got vaccinated I made a pledge to not jack off and only cum when I was fucking. I was doing really well on that pledge until last week when I was looking at porn on Twitter and saw this video of Adrian Zuki getting fucked… To say I’m into little guys is an understatement. Well, his blue hair isn’t really a turn on, but it’s not a turn off either. But he’s so little… Seeing him get fucked by some big, beefy, hairy, tattooed top was just really hot. And just a year ago or so he was almost exclusively doing condom scenes, now he’s 100% bareback. So anyway, I was watching that video, hadn’t cum in 5 days, and then I felt myself starting to cum. Once I get that feeling there’s not really a way to stop it. So I just went with it and blew my load. I was disappointed in myself, but it happened. I did scoop up and eat as much of my load as I could to make the best of a bad situation…

And just as an aside – the reason I hadn’t cum in 5 days was because I was worried I had an STI. There was a small amount of stuff drying on my Prince Albert during the night and I was worried it was discharge. But after a couple days it didn’t turn into full-on discharge and there was no pain when I pissed, so I realized the problem was me trying to stretch my PA. Since my 0g (8mm) ring was fitting comfortably, I had put my 9mm to stretch it a bit the two days before the problem started. That irritated the piercing and caused the stuff drying on the ring during the night. So all of this happened because I was being a conscientious top and not trying to give someone an STI.

Anyway, two days later I was ready to fuck, so I looked for a bottom. I didn’t want to waste all day trying to find the perfect bottom so I went with this guy who lived over in East Harlem. I had previously attached a note to his profile saying I thought he might PNP. But in the moment he was a willing and eager hole who was ready to fuck and not too far away, so I headed over. He had given me codes to get through the doors into his building, but when I got there they didn’t work. Then he gave me a name to look up in the building directory, but it wasn’t listed. Finally I got through the outer gate but then couldn’t find the entrance to the building. (You’d think you might mention where it is if it’s not apparent, but he didn’t.) I had better luck getting through the front door of the building. As I approached his door I could hear a dog barking. He had left the door ajar and when I started to open it the dog was barking at me and trying to get out of the apartment (it was a little dog). I manged to get into the apartment without letting the dog out, but the dog was clearly bothered by my being there.

The bottom was legs up on his bed, as he promised, but the dog was still running around being aggressive towards me. The guy tried to say stuff (in Spanish) to calm the dog, but it wasn’t working. I started rimming the guy. This hole was all greasy – which was unfortunate, but understandable. As I was rimming the guy and jacking my dick the dog comes from under the bed and I feel a nip. Having my dick out in a place where it could get bitten by a dog wasn’t my idea of a great time. As soon as I was hard enough to fuck I switched to fucking.

The bottom clearly wanted to get fucked legs up, but the position was all wrong for me. I just wanted to cum and get out of there before the dog actually bit me. So I had the bottom get on his belly. He didn’t understand and got on all fours at which point I sorta pushed him down. At that point it became a three-way testing of wills – me, the bottom, and the dog. The bottom started squirming around and wanted to change position. The dog was still running around jumping up on the bed, down, then up again being really aggressive. And I just wanted to cum. That’s when I was happy that I can cum so quickly. Like a minute later I felt myself cumming. I literally had to hold the bottom in place (he was squirming and trying to change positions). He wasn’t even “present” enough to know I was blowing a load in his ass.

Once I came I didn’t really care so much about position. We switched it up and I started fucking him again, but the dog was still charging at me and trying to bite me. I had enough of the whole situation, pulled out, put the ring back in my PA, put on my shorts, went to the bathroom to wash up a bit, and then left.

I have no clue how the bottom interpreted that whole situation. I’m not even sure he knows he got my load. I suspect my initial note warning myself that he might PNP was correct. Given everything that went wrong, I can’t see hooking up with him again.

But hey, my load went in his ass. At least I managed that much.

I’ve had a difficult relationship with my Prince Albert for many years now. It got up to 2ga (~6mm) really easily. No matter what I can always fit a 2ga in without problems. But getting up to a 0ga (8mm) or 00ga (10mm) has eluded me. I can get up there for a short period, but then the piercing basically protests and sends me back down to 2ga. That’s been happening for years now. Eventually I get frustrated and just take it out and forget about it for a few months, then I’ll try again. But it’s always the same – 2ga always fits, but I can only do 0 or 00 for a brief time.

With me getting back into my groove I thought I’d stick with the stretching process. I won’t bore you with all the details but I’m trying different jewelry and strategies trying to get the stretching process to be successful this time. This morning my 0ga was feeling happy, so I figured I’d give fucking with it a shot. I usually take it out to fuck because the piercing is pretty sensitive while I’m stretching and it’s painful to fuck with it in.

The poz daddy who lives near me was looking for loads this morning so I headed over to his place (he’s becoming a regular). When I took off my shorts and he saw the PA he was pretty happy. As usual he sucked my dick to get it hard. I played with his hole a bit while he sucked me since blowjobs aren’t really my thing. When I was hard enough I grabbed the lube (he didn’t already have loads in him), lubed up and gently pushed in.

The piercing was a little sensitive while I was fucking. I was planning just to cum as quickly as possible so there wouldn’t be too much stress on the piercing but the pain delayed my orgasm a little. For a moment I was wondering whether I’d need to take out the PA to cum. But then I felt my orgasm building, then there was this weird delay, but finally I blew in his ass. Usually I pump in and out a bit after cumming, but I just (gingerly) pulled my dick out and was done.

He wanted to suck me clean, but I said I wanted to take a piss and went to the bathroom. Took a while to piss as well, but I was finally able. (Pissing cleans the urethra and the piercing and reduces the chance of STIs).

Then I put on my shorts and left. Luckily the guy doesn’t mind quickie pump-n-dumps.

Yesterday I bred this guy who’s been wanting my load for a while now. Apparently when he was younger and lived in another city he used to read my blog and I guess wanted my load back then, but it wasn’t an option. Then he moved to NYC. About 18 months ago he hit me up, said he had stopped taking PrEP and wanted my load. Then the pandemic hit and hooking up wasn’t really an option. He contacted me last fall from the sounds of it he’d been on-and-off PrEP but getting closer to commit to being poz. Well, yesterday I was able to host and he wanted my load bad enough that he took the subway up for a pump-n-dump.

I knew from his pics that he was relative hot, but when he got here I was surprised – he was really clean cut – which wasn’t what I was expecting in a bug chaser. The Asian guy last week had also been really clean cut but a total cumdump pig. It’s sorta hot when boy-next-door types are total bareback pigs. And when they’re bug chasing that’s even a step above.

Years ago bareback porn really took off after Dawson’s 20 Load Weekend. Prior to that point the guys were not pretty boys – or the few that were were minority, so (stupidly) didn’t have the mass appeal that a white boy jock / frat boy like Dawson had. The last year or so some of the independent producers are coming out with poz fetish porn, but it suffers from the same thing bareback porn suffered from back in the day – models that (to put it nicely) don’t really have mainstream appeal. There’s also the issue that (AFAIK) drugs are involved or at least many of those involved are known to do rather hard drugs (meth, etc.) I sometimes wonder what the response would be if a a white boy jock / frat boy type filmed his conversion and then did videos where he was openly “toxic” (e.g. wasn’t on meds and had a high viral load). We’re probably years away from that happening, which is fine because while it seems more guys are interested in becoming poz, it’s clearly a fringe group at the moment.

Anyway, all of that was to say that was sorta what was running through my head when I saw this clean cut, white boy show up at my door openly hoping this was the moment he’d get pozzed.

And honestly, I don’t know what’s real or just fantasy when I fuck guys. I purposely don’t discuss my status because I sorta like it that way. I don’t know the truth about them and they don’t know the truth about me. All I know is that he at least fantasizes about becoming poz. He could be on PrEP, or he could already be poz, or he could actually be bug chasing – only he really knows.

We went to the bedroom, he stripped down. I took off my pants and took out my Prince Albert. He got on his knees a bit and sucked on my dick, then we went over to the bed. I rimmed him for a bit. His ass was completely clean. No hint of musk or having been fucked already. While I was rimming him I put some lube on my dick and then stood up and slid in…

I took a few pics, then had him get on his belly and I continued fucking him. I told him I loved the fact that he wanted to get pozzed. There was a little banter back and forth along those lines. He was telling me he wanted me to blow a toxic load in him, etc. With all the hot talk it wasn’t long before I blew my load in his ass (I’m cumming really quickly these days). I was rock hard so just kept fucking him.

Then I got him on his side and slowly pumped in and out of his ass while I held him and felt his body until my cock went soft. We were both really quiet at that point, but it was a nice intimate moment. When my dick finally slipped out of his ass I rimmed him a bit more. His ass was wet but didn’t have a strong taste of cum. (I’m sure that changed as it leaked out later on).

While he was getting dressed he mentioned he wanted to know whether I was toxic or not, but knew I probably wasn’t going to tell him. Hopefully we’ll keep fucking and at some point I will tell him. But not yet…

A week ago I did a repeat with the poz daddy I fucked a month ago. I was a pretty standard quickie pump-n-dump. He already had a few loads in him and his hole felt really silky and wonderful. He’s a convenient hole to have nearby One of these days I’ll ask if the “positive” he states in his profile means he’s off meds. I’m always curious why guys would choose “positive” when they could choose “undetectable”.

Then yesterday I fucked one of the best asses I’ve fucked in a while. He was Asian, early 20s, short, with no excess body fat. Naked he had the body of a little boy. His waist was super tiny. I was the oldest guy who’s ever fucked him (probably older than his father). He said he had a load or two in him, but when I rimmed him I couldn’t taste any. It wasn’t until I was deep inside him that I could feel the wetness. We were both rushed for time so my cumming quickly was no problem. But the irony is that he’s someone I would have wanted a longer session with. I rimmed him after pulling out and still couldn’t taste any cum – even though I absolutely knew he had a decent size load from me up there. Then again, I did cum pretty deep. I’m hoping he wants a rematch!

Well, since I did my last blog post I fucked three guys (all Latino), but only came with one of them.

First guy turned out to be super close to me. Small, skinny guy (my type). Had a super clean hole I spent a lot of time rimming, and for a while I gave him a decent fuck. But the chemistry and positions were off. When I first arrived he seemed more into jacking his dick than getting fucked. He just seemed hesitant. I’d try to push him this way or that way to get into a better position with him, but he’d resist. At one point he mentioned that some positions were difficult due to a previous injury. He so close and so much my type he’s worth a second try one of these days. Maybe at my place instead of his. And the interpersonal chemistry thing improved vastly as we talked while I was getting my clothes on. Some of my first impressions were off with him.

Second guy was a 20-something cumdump who was taking loads in a tiny little hotel room in midtown. His status on his profile just said “negative”, so not sure if he was on PrEP or bug chasing. I gave him his “10th or 12th” load (he had lost track). He was a lot heavier than I usually like, but his hole felt great and he followed directions (so no problems with position).

The third guy had a profile name that suggested he was pretty experienced, but in person that didn’t carry through to action. He was also significantly heavier than some of his pics, though in his profile he did call himself a chub. He wanted to have sex in his living room – on the coffee table with the blinds open (his neighbors, not mine, so no problem there). There was no bed and the couch wasn’t big enough to be useful. He was very oral. He expected his blowjob (with teeth!) to get me fully hard. It got me about 80% of the way there. I was hard enough to fuck, but he was really tight. When I finally did rim him I did taste some cum – he said he’d taken a load before I got there. Finally I tried to put him on his belly on a pillow on the floor, but that just didn’t work, so I gave up and went home.

No not the greatest experiences, but not horrible either.

Yesterday I needed to go to the Upper West Side for a COVID test, so I posted on BBRT looking for a bottom in the area. A daddy hit me up and was in a good location for me, so we made plans. His profile pics were pretty hot – a solid, masculine DILF. His profile just said “positive”, not “undetectable”. Usually that’s code for “I’m not on meds”, but not always. He had hit me up before a few days earlier in the middle of the night when I had woken up and couldn’t sleep and had gotten onto BBRT to respond to some emails. I think it was like 4 in the morning and he hit me up wanting me to come over right then. In my experience the only people who are up at 3 or 4 in the morning are drug addicts who are “parTying” and I really hate fucking guys who are high. So I wondered about him…

I rode my bike down and his place was right on one of the decent routes back, so if you looked at my route you’d never know I stopped for a pump-n-dump since there were no tell-tale detours. He had told me the door would be ajar – it wasn’t, but it was unlocked. So I went in. His bedroom door was barely ajar and he was inside, on the bed in just jeans with porn playing on the TV. If I had to guess I’d say he’s probably gotten into drugs – he lacked the “robustness” that was in his pics. It’s always sad to see meth make hollow shells out of people. Or maybe it was just bad lighting and circumstance (the room was pretty dark). Either way, he was fuckable and didn’t seem high and it had been 8 days since I’d blown my load in the other guy, so it wasn’t like I was going to leave.

He crawled down the bed and started sucking my dick. I got hard pretty quickly and started pushing down his pants to feel his hole. He got the hint and turned around and took them off and got on all fours, head down. Normally I’d rim before fucking, but something about the situation I wasn’t really wanting that in the moment, so I just put some spit on my dick and pushed in his ass. My first thought was that I needed more lube, but pretty quickly it was “good enough”. I was thinking I should take a pic, but didn’t (oh well).

I fucked him on all fours for a little while (not terribly long). It felt good and I wondered if I could cum that way. Probably could have if I kept at it but I had him get on his belly (my standard way to cum pretty quickly). At that point I got in deeper and all of a sudden his ass got really wet. He clearly had some loads in him and it felt really great. The additional sensation put me over the edge and I blew my 8 day load up his ass and then continued to slowly pump his ass for a bit.

When I pulled out my cock was completely drenched in cum. I hadn’t taken off my clothes. If I’d zipped up my jeans at that point I’d have gotten the inside of my jeans all wet with cum and ass juices. Fortunately he came to the rescue and sucked me clean.

I then zipped up and left before he could really suggest me staying. The entire encounter was 14 minutes – and that included me locking up my bike, going up to his place, fucking him, and coming back down and unlocking my bike.

He’s pretty close to me, so I’m sure I’ll fuck him again. A decent, convenient cumdump is a good thing to have around. And I should ask him about his viral load. It’d be hot if he’s toxic.

It’s almost embarrassing how long it’s been since I’ve had sex. Last time I updated the blog was November 2018. I’ve literally only had sex on 5 different days since then – a few days after that post, then twice about a year later (October/November 2019), then on vacation in February of last year. Then just as I was feeling like getting back in the game, the pandemic hit and I only hooked up once during the pandemic (with a buddy who I knew for certain was playing safe and keeping risk really low – and we hooked up outdoors, at the beach to minimize risk).

As the pandemic hit and then continued I just hunkered down. Vaccines were eventually on the horizon and I didn’t want to be the person who died a week before they could have gotten the vaccine. I had a lover who died of AIDS in 1995 – a year before ARVs came out. I’d learned my lesson my lesson from that. And my caution was warranted – the roommate of a friend got hospitalized and put in the ICU and after a few weeks he died. Tragically, he died four days after he qualified for a vaccine. He was a cute little cub in his mid-30s. It can happen to anyone.

The pandemic explains why I didn’t hookup for the past year. But it doesn’t explain 2018 and 2019. There were a number of factors, but the cumulative effect is that I kinda lost the mojo to be a good top. You need a certain confidence to be a good top (or even a good bottom), and a number of things in my life were interfering with that. Among other things, there were problems with my immediate neighborhood (which at one point escalated to me being assaulted), finding success in work was difficult, and so on… Even Trump’s presidency felt like a downer. Things finally started to change late last year – Trump lost, and the people who were causing problems in the neighborhood were arrested and are now facing 20 to life for drug trafficking. There are still remaining issues in my life, but they’re manageable.

Needless to say I wanted (needed?) life to get back to normal so I was pretty assertive about getting a vaccine. I got my first shot 2 days after I qualified. But I still played it safe, so didn’t really start thinking of hooking up until I was fully vaccinated (2 weeks after my 2nd shot).

I FINALLY had my first hookup yesterday (5 days after being fully vaccinated). I’m so ready to get back into the swing of things that I’ve set a goal to only cum when I fuck, which means ideally I’d hookup every 3-5 days. But the guy yesterday got a 10 day load since I stopped jacking off a few days before I was fully vaccinated and then I’d been busy with other stuff and didn’t manage to hookup the first few days.

Anyway – the hookup… I started looking in the morning but made the mistake of being too picky about distance. I wanted a bottom who’d host, who I could walk to. There were a few guys taking loads but they were all further away. As it got to be mid-afternoon I realized I had spent far too much of the day looking for an ideal hookup and realized I just needed to breed an ass (perfection is the enemy of good). A guy hit me up and said he’d pay for an Uber if I’d come breed him. He had hit me up back in 2017 and 2018 telling me that he wasn’t taking his PrEP consistently and was thinking of converting. But that was 3 and a half years ago and his profile still said “negative, on PreP”. So I knew he had bug chasing tendencies but didn’t know what was real and what was fantasy with him. He wasn’t my “ideal type” but it’s always fun to fuck a bug chaser, and he was just visiting the City so it was now or who knows when – so I said yes. I declined the Uber and rode my bike down to his hotel.

As I walked into the hotel I panicked a little. I wasn’t sure where the elevators were, but finally I spotted them so I got spared the embarrassment of explaining to the staff that I was there for a pump-and-dump with a guy and didn’t know his name. When I got up to his room the door was ajar. I went in, it was actually a small suite. I set down some of my stuff, went to the bathroom to take a piss, and then went into the bedroom where he was on the bed ass up.

I had him get on all fours so I could rim him. His ass was REALLY hairy (he was sorta hairy all over). He had mentioned before I came that his as was cummy, but I couldn’t taste any loads. It would’ve been cool to felch some cum from his ass, but at least his ass was perfectly clean. Woulda been a bummer if I’d gotten a bottom with a dirty hole the first time out after so long.

I fucked him on all fours just briefly and then had him get on his belly. We hadn’t really said anything to each other, but at that point he got really verbal and was literally begging me to give him a toxic load and poz him. He said he wanted me to be the one to make him poz. I honestly believed that’s what he wanted, but who knows what the reality was. Was he neg and on PrEP? Has he been taking his PrEP consistently, or did he go off before traveling to NYC? Or is he poz and just wants to recreate a fantasy pozzing? Or maybe he has no clue what his status is… Still, it’s hot to hear a bottom beg me to knock him up. He’d been talking about it for enough years I knew he really wanted it – even if his PrEP usage wouldn’t let it happen, or it had happened a while ago.

I’m never one for long fucks. I learned a while ago that when I feel ready to cum, I should just do it – because if I wait I may not be able to cum later. And true to form, I didn’t last long – especially with him begging me to poz him. I felt a spurt of cum, then a few seconds later I felt a much bigger spurt. I mean it had been 10 days since I’d cum. It felt like a pretty big load – but not seeing the load, who knows?

I’d been almost completely silent the entire time. It wasn’t really “connected” sex. I needed a hole and he had one to fuck. But I think he really was hoping I’d just pozzed him and he was going to have this wonderful connected moment with his poz daddy. I hadn’t taken off my clothes (other than my jacket), so as I was zipping up he indicated he wanted me to stick around for a moment. I thought he said he wanted to “clean me up”, but then I realized he wanted to jack off with me. I played with his nipples, but they didn’t seem wired to his dick. He wanted to kiss, but between the anonymous nature of it and, ummm…, the pandemic, I dodged that one. I know he wanted more, but I wasn’t really in the headspace for the level of connection he wanted. I could have sucked his dick, but that wasn’t what I was there for, and would have changed the power dynamics between us. I felt a little bad for him in the moment. I was in disconnected mode, and he wanted connected. But it was what it was. Soon enough he came, then I zipped up, went for another piss and left.

One thing that’s a little amusing to me about this hookup, actually happens a lot when guys hit me up… I haven’t discussed my HIV status in years. I’m completely opaque about it. I like the fact that guys have no fucking clue. But they all seem to just assume that I’m poz and I’ve been toxic for years now. I don’t mind them assuming that, but I they’re making a lot of assumptions to come to that conclusion. But I actually sorta like that. Back in the day before PrEP neg bottoms had no real way to protect themselves. They were totally dependent on the top knowing his status and telling the truth. (This is before people realized undetectable = untransmittable). There was something really special about bottoms whose hunger for loads was greater than their sense of self-preservation. And even when I fucked a poz bottom back then I realized there was a point in their life when they chose to risk their health to get loads in their ass. That risk made barebacking really edgy back then. I miss the atmosphere of risk – it was hot. Those guys were true pigs, and piggy sex is just hotter. PrEP takes away that risk the way condoms took it away in the past. Now when I see a bottom is on PrEP it’s kind of a turn off. I’ll fuck them, but I just wish they’d simply put their status as “negative” and let me wonder.

So I have no clue whether the bottom was taking an actual risk or not yesterday, but I really liked that he at least made it seem in the moment like there was risk.

A few years ago now I started a development project. I never expected for it to take this long, but it’s finally getting off the ground. Little stuff got done along the way (like how banner ads were served – including on here and on Breeding Zone), and then I wrote a new chat feature for Breeding Zone that was all new code. But it’s only this month that I’m finally getting content moved and the new sites are starting to really do their thing.

So that said, check out BBBH.com (the name comes from #BBBH which is the hashtag used on Twitter for bareback sex). I’ve moved the porn blog that used to be on this site to BBBH.com as well as all the commercial videos that were on Raunchy Fuckers. My sex blog is still here (obviously), and the amateur videos are still on Raunchy Fuckers (for now). And there’s a lot more work to be done on the new sites (e.g. I need to pull in new content), but they’re finally decent and relatively complete, which feels good.

I say all of that to explain (in part) why I haven’t been having much sex. There are multiple reasons for me checking out when it came to sex, but getting absorbed in work is one of them. But honestly it’s more complicated than that. There are a number of things I’ve found emotionally draining… Development taking forever was one, politics was another, and then there were a couple of significant issues in my living environment (to be accurate, but obscure) that weighed on me. Anyway, sum total is that I like to approach sex from a position of power and I wasn’t feeling powerful, so I wasn’t having sex.

Not everything is resolved, but enough things are resolved and I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel on the others, so I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things. A couple of weeks ago I went to a sex party and fucked a bunch of guys, but my dick gave out before I came, so I didn’t give any loads. And then this week I’ve bred two guys…

First guy was a couple of days ago. I was looking for a guy who’d come over and take a load. A bunch of guys were generally interested but finally one said he’d actually come over. It was a decent hookup, but I’d say the “connection” was missing for some reason. I’m guessing he wanted to get fucked for a longer period of time. But not every hookup has to be one for the record books. He did say “Well, that was fun” after I was done, which seemed a little funny in the moment. One thing about him that I noticed after blowing my load and I was laying next to him was that he had a really beautiful face. Not that he had a bad body (his body was fine), but if he put more effort into his body his overall “package” would be rather stunning – not everyone has such a great face.

Second guy was this morning. He was the hot bug chaser I fucked at the beginning of the year. It was a rather weird, but hot anonymous scene where I had to tell the doorman I was the dog walker to get into the building. The weird part was that the doorman mentioned the part about the door to the apartment being open. Made me wonder if the doorman fucks the guy as well. (Which would actually be pretty hot). Long story short, I rimmed him for ages while I tried to get my dick to cooperate, and finally I just thought “fuck it, I’ll go with it as it is” and started fucking him before I was fully hard. Good news was that fucking him got me fully hard. Usually I get a bottom on his stomach to fuck, but I could feel my load building with him on all fours. BUT then I could smell that he wasn’t clean. I usually hate that and stop immediately BUT I smelled that after I could feel my load coming, and I was determined to give him my load, so I pushed him onto his belly in an attempt to keep my clothes clean (I hadn’t undressed – just unzipped). I did manage to give him my load and then it took forever to clean up the mess in the bathroom. As I was leaving I was just hoping it was his apartment. I worried he might actually be the dog walker and it was a client’s apartment. If that was the case it would have been a huge disaster.

So hopefully there will be more to report in the near future…

Well, 2018 is starting off pretty well. Bred another bottom yesterday. I know 2 days in a row breeding is no big deal, but given my lackluster performance the past year or two, it’s a good sign.

This time the bottom was one of “New York’s regulars”. Usually he gets a hotel room with another bottom and they both take loads. This time the other bottom flaked and it was just him. When I got there there were 2 other tops – a bearish guy, and a really hot, fit Asian guy. Before I’d undressed another top showed up. Best way to describe him is just “piggy” – he had that look about him. (And he had an incredible ass!)

The bottom had to go to go pee right after I got there, when he got back he looked around for the hardest dick and the winner was the bearish guy, so he went and sat on it. Then he started giving the piggy guy a blowjob, so I got around behind and started fucking him. Felt good, but I wanted him on his belly (surprise, surprise), but there was a miscommunication and he got on his back instead. That way just didn’t feel as good. There was no way I was going to cum that way – he just wasn’t tight enough. So I pulled out and the Asian guy started fucking him. Then things switched up a bit and the piggy guy fucked him again.

You get the idea… He was basically just going from hard cock to hard cock and getting fucked (or spit roasted). In the middle of all this another top shows up – so the bottom is servicing 5 guys at once. (Lucky bottom!)

In fairly short order I got another shot at his ass and this time I got him on his belly. The position was a little off (maybe the bed was soft or something), but I still managed to cum in his ass. I wanted to make sure he got every drop so I sorta slow fucked him for a bit after – but not too long since other guys were waiting to fuck him. I asked and he said it was load #8.

I went to clean off my dick in the bathroom and the Asian guy followed me. He’d seemed interested the whole time I was there. He sucked on my dick a bit, but it was too sensitive from having just cum, so I had him stop. I should have gotten his name, number, profile name or something – he was cute.

As I left he was just over an hour into his gangbang. He had 8 loads in his ass and had 4 more tops (so at least 4 more loads) there ready to cum – and he was going to go for another 2 hours. I wonder what his total load count was?

I know I’ve been really really horrible about maintaining this blog. My New Years Resolution is to breed more asses and when I’m breeding regularly it’s fun to talk about it. So you should see more blog posts…

Last year I did a bunch of sex parties, but rarely cum when I’m standing up with the bottom bent over, so I did fuck 95 holes last year, but only managed to cum 18 of those times. If I put my mind to it I should be able to double that number this year pretty easily (hopefully get closer to tripling the number).

The first hole of the year was this hot, 30ish guy. I’ve always heard guys look best they ever look around the age of 30, so it’s a fun age to fuck. He first hit me up in July saying he’d gone off PrEP and wanted me to fuck him with my PA. There are a lot of guys who fantasize about being bugchasers – they’ll talk the talk, but then get cold feet. Off PrEP and wanting a rough fuck sure sounded like he was in bug chaser mode to me. And on top of everything else he said he had a boyfriend who didn’t know he was getting fucked and could only host during the day. Things didn’t work out in the summer, but then I heard from him again in November, and then yesterday he gives me the room number at a hotel near where he said he lived.

I’ve started cycling a lot, which means I’m FINALLY losing weight. [More on that in another blog post, maybe. Bottom line I’m not the bear I used to be.] Anyway, my plan that evening was to cycle to my gym in Midtown, then go to a meeting nearby, and the guy’s hotel was right on the way. So I left 20 minutes early to give me enough time to fuck him. I hadn’t actually got a response from him saying the time was good when I left, but by the time I got to midtown and checked he’d said the timing was perfect.

And I hadn’t really taken the time to study his profile and my notes on him before I left. All I knew was he seemed like he’d be a good fuck. I get to the (rather nice) hotel, go upstairs, and found his door ajar (as I’d suggested he do). I pushed the door open and there he was naked on the bed. He was actually much hotter than I was expecting. Quite smooth, lightly muscled, and very fit.

He flipped over and got on all fours as soon as I opened the door. At the time I didn’t know what to think of the look on his face. He didn’t really smile, so I was thinking maybe he wasn’t into me. I wondered if he was expecting me to be hotter or something.  His smooth perky ass looked absolutely perfect, and he presenting it for me to fuck, so I really didn’t care if he was into me or not. I just wanted to give him my load.

I unbuckled my belt, and unzipped my pants and then fumbled around in my bag to find my cockring. Then I started rimming him. His ass was perfectly smooth and muscled enough to make it perky. And best yet, not a hint of mustiness. I wondered if there were other loads in there, but couldn’t taste any.

Then when I was hard enough to fuck I stood up and pushed my dick in (still fully clothed). His hole felt really great. I almost thought I might be able to cum in that position (doggy), but didn’t want to take any chances so after a bit I had him get on his belly. It actually didn’t feel quite as good as it did with him on all fours, but I just stuck with it and it wasn’t long before I gave him a nice big load.

My dick seemed clean, but just in case I wiped it off with his sheets 😉 He flipped over and again I couldn’t tell what he thought of the fuck. He seemed a bit indifferent.

Then I gathered up my stuff and left. The total encounter was maybe 5 minutes. Definitely less than 10 minutes. I then stopped at a table in the hallway to put my coat on and get ready to do the next leg of the bike ride to the gym.

When I got home there was a message from him saying it was hot and the first time he’d knowingly taken a poz load. It was at that point when I understood his indifference. It wasn’t indifference – it was ambivalence. He was probably numb from the idea that with that fuck he was committing himself to possibly getting pozzed. It’s a big step and I can totally see a bottom seeming ambivalent the first time they actually go through with it.

I just hope the desire for poz toxic cum grows in him and he keeps seeking it out. And if he wasn’t actually off PrEP I hope he takes that step too. Clearly at least part of him wants to be poz, otherwise he wouldn’t have hit me up and said the things he did. And he wouldn’t have knowingly sought out his first poz load. (My dick is hard thinking about him getting pozzed ).

[And for the record, IMHO, some – probably most – people should stay neg and with PrEP they can. But when poz becomes your fetish – the thing you think about when you’re jacking off – then, for those people, yeah, I totally think they should get off PrEP and get their asses pozzed. It suits them.]

Gotta say I LOVE it when bug chasers hit me up to take my load. Fucked another one almost two weeks ago now. He was literally desperate to get pozzed. You could just see it in his eyes.

He was actually sorta cute. Short, nice body, mixed race. I refused to confirm whether I was poz or neg, off meds or on them. He had to take my load to find out. When he got here he was sorta withdrawn and quiet. It was like he was just going through the motions, but with intense desire.

There was some “poz talk” while we were fucking, but honestly it didn’t’ take long for me to blow my load. Just the idea of him wanting me to infect him was a huge turn on.

Afterwards I came I stayed pretty hard and kept fucking him. Finally I rolled him on his side and spooned him while still pumping in and out of his ass. I asked him when when he started chasing and he said he went off PrEP two months before. In other words, his Christmas present to himself was going off PrEP and his New Year’s resolution was to get pozzed.  Something tells me that’s one New Year’s resolution that might actually get fulfilled

Now I’ve got this other bug chaser hitting me up. Cute, fairly young, hot lean body. Hopefully I’ll get my load in him this weekend.

So middle of December I changed gyms from the rather boring (and sometimes hostile) YMCA in Harlem to a much friendlier chain of gyms. I wasn’t really thinking about sex at the time I made the change, but damn it became clear to me what I’d been missing the first time I worked out at the new gym.

At the Y about the most that ever went on was there was this skinny black twink who liked to lay ass up in the steam room. But that literally was about as erotic as it ever got. I can’t even remember seeing a hardon there. I did see some hardons at the 14th Street location. And occasionally there would be stuff to see at the UWS location, but that location was also pretty hostile. You’d get yelled at if you didn’t sit on a towel, etc.

So the first time I went to the new gym there was this horny black “kid” (18+) with a hardon under a wet towel that came into the sauna. As other guys cleared out it was me, the kid and this (white) poz daddy. The poz daddy started feeling the kid’s ass and then sorta forced the kid onto his dick and he wound up giving the kids a small cum facial. It was sorta weird because the kid was clearly horny, but also sorta reluctant. On the one hand it looked like the poz daddy was raping him. On the other hand all the kid had to do was get up and walk out of the sauna. Anyway, a very hot first day at the new gym.

Anyway, in the past nearly two months now I’ve been to a bunch of the locations of the new gym. Some have been boring, but others are quite active. Usually it’s just guys jacking, occasionally there’s some quick oral action. But a week ago I was at one of the locations where there always seems to be at least a little bit going on and the crowd thinned out in the steam room so it was just me, this rather sexually aggressive guy I first pegged as a bottom, and this poz daddy with a big unkept beard. First the bottom guy started sucking my dick, then he had the poz daddy suck my dick and he got behind the poz daddy and started fucking him. (Guess he wasn’t just a bottom after all).

My dick was rock hard ’cause I’d taken a Levitra recently and I hadn’t cum in a while, so I wanted to fuck… So I freed my dick of the poz daddy’s mouth and got up. I’m not sure they got my intention, but “the bottom” stopped fucked the poz daddy and I slid my dick in. I was really nervous about someone walking in, so I kept my towel around my waist and kept looking at the door for shadows of people who might be coming in.

I tend to cum pretty quickly which was a good thing in a situation like a public steam room, and it wasn’t long before I dumped a load in his ass. I did it pretty quietly, so the poz daddy didn’t really know I’d cum. He sat down and started sucking my dick, probably hoping for an oral load. Then he looked up and smiled. I’m guessing he tasted the cum and figured out I’d already given him a load in his ass.

I wrapped my towel around my waist and went and took a shower. Thanks to the Levitra my boner just wouldn’t go down. Finally I just wrapped things up and walked out into the locker room. By the time I’d gotten to my locker it was still pretty big, but not a full hardon. It as at that point that I saw a brown spot on my towel. The poz daddy apparently hadn’t been completely clean. But his smile afterwards meant he must have been mostly clean. It was a bit confusing, but whatever.

I threw the dirty towel in the bin and went and did my workout and then hit the steam room again afterwards, but that time around there was only just a few hardons.

One thing I have learned is that I get better hardons before I workout. I work out hard enough that afterwards I’m sorta drained. So when I’m going to a “good location” I make sure to hit the steam room before I workout (and again after).

Actually, I may be over-training. My shoulder has started giving me problems and so I’ve gone to see a doctor and now a physical therapist. The PT wants me to keep going to the gym – just make some modifications to what I do. Which is good because I was really making progress – losing fat and gaining muscle. I mean I could do a month or two of just cardio, legs and abs if I had to, but I’d rather not lose my momentum.

But even if I could only do cardio, I think the sauna and steam rooms would keep me going

[And no, I won’t publicly say which gym I’m going to now. Let’s just say the police arrested 3 guys for doing stuff in the steam room at one of the locations last month, so there needs to be a certain amount of discretion about where stuff is going on. I wish we lived in a world where fucking in a steam room was no big deal, but we don’t. Even progressives can be Nazis in the name of things like “public health”. It’s why I just identify as left-of-center / liberal, and not a progressive.]

There’s this one hot little muscular Latino that I’ve been fucking for over 4 years now. Over that time I’ve given him 15 loads. He’s, by far, one of my favorite fucks and late last year he told me that he always tries to come over when I text him because I’m his favorite top.

It’s actually really sweet that I’m his favorite top because when I started fucking him I was “pretty bearish” (to put it nicely). He’s sorta my ideal type – Latino, really short, really muscular, completely masculine, and best yet he’s a total slut. He likes getting multiple loads in his ass. I’ve seen him post on Squirt saying he’s cruising the parks uptown looking for loads. I’ve seen him out at sex parties taking loads.

Oh, and he seems to really like quickies. The first time he came over this year my husband was in the other room and afterwards he remarked “that was less than 15 minutes!” I just shrugged and said “yeah, we both sorta like it quick”.

Anyway, when he came over a couple weeks ago I had taken a Levitra and I laid on the couch jacking off to some bug chaser blogs on Tumblr for a few minutes before he got there. I was rock hard when I answered the door and still hard when we got to the bedroom to strip down. He sucked a little on my dick and then got on the bed and I fucked him. One of the reasons why I like fucking little guys is because I can get deep enough to hit their “2nd sphincter” (the “transverse folds in the rectum” that your dick hits that make it feel like you’re going through another sphincter).

Then when he came over a couple days ago I was really rushed. I had to leave at 3:15 for a physical therapy appointment and he showed up at 3:00 – he was later than we’d originally planned because he stopped to get a load from another top Anyway, we had plenty of time. Once again I was hard from jacking my dick when he got there, we stripped down. There was a few seconds of kissing and oral and then I put him on the bed. Despite the fact that I almost always fuck him the same way he never seems to remember that I like him on his belly. It’s sorta funny – you’d think after all those fucks he’d remember. I mean usually on his knees is appropriate ’cause I  like to rim him, but there wasn’t time. Anyway, I came really quickly, he dressed and was on his way with his second load of the day, and I had time to gather my stuff and get on my way all by my 3:15 deadline.

Bottom line. I love fucking him. I probably even have a bit of a crush on him, but I wouldn’t say I love him ’cause I barely know him – it’s not like there’s much conversation. But I’m really glad I’ve got a hot bottom on-call and plan on fucking him pretty regularly this year…

I’ve been really bad about blogging for while now. I’ve gone to a lot of sex parties this year, but haven’t actually bred that many holes. Sex parties are a good venue to fuck a lot of ass – I’ve fucked like 90 guys this year, BUT (for me) they’re horrible for actually cumming. I usually need the bottom on his belly to cum and most of the sex clubs around here don’t have proper beds.

Anyway… Last night I bred this bug chaser. God, I love bug chasers. There’s just something really hot about a guy begging you to give him a toxic load and convert him. This particular bug chaser was in town from the UK where (AFAIK) they’re still fighting about who’s gonna pay for PrEP. So many of the neg guys in NYC are on PrEP – I sorta miss the days when bottoms put their future health in the hands of the tops who fucked them raw. There were consequences to sex back then that made it edgier and more exciting than it is these days…

Anyway the bug chaser wanted me to fuck him with my big PA to rough up his hole. My PA has been a bit sensitive lately – especially when I wear my big ring for too long. But before I left the house I popped half a Levitra and put in the big ring. It’s not every day I get bottoms begging me to poz them, so didn’t mind giving him what he wanted – even if it was a bit painful for me.

I was sorta hoping I could watch him take other loads, but when I got to his hotel I was the only top.  He was on all fours on the bed with his face looking the other direction. The only light was the light from the bathroom with the bathroom door slightly ajar. I stripped down to just socks and my shirt and started rimming him. I asked how many loads he had in him and he said three. I wasn’t able to felch any of the loads. He just seemed “well lubed”.

Didn’t take me too long to get rock hard at which point I stood up and gently guided my PA into his hole and had him get on his belly. I could definitely feel the loads in him. His hole was nice and silky. But the problem was that my dick kept bottoming out in his ass, which meant my ring was twisting and causing me pain. I tried to see if I could just bear the pain, but finally I realized if I wanted to breed him the ring needed to come out. So I pulled out quickly, and used the pillowcase to get the ball off and the ring out of my dick.

Even before I took the ring out we started with the poz talk… “So you wanna get pozzed?” That started him begging me to poz him and asking if I was toxic, and begging for a toxic load up his ass. He wanted it pretty bad. I was telling him things like “All slutty bottoms should be poz. You know you want this…” It was really hot. Honestly it’s the sorta stuff that goes through my head most of the time when I’m fucking guys – I was just verbalizing it this time.

Needless to say it didn’t take all that long to blow a load, and the load felt really big. All that poz talk got me going.

As I washed up and got dressed he never looked back. I love the fact that he has no clue what I look like, yet he was begging me to give him a toxic load and convert him.

Of course, I have no clue if he’s actually neg. And he has no clue what my HIV status really is. It could have been all fantasy. Or it could have been real. No one really knows. But it was real in that each of our desires were out there and both of us were getting off on the risk. I feel like ARVs are like training wheels for sex these days. At least for a moment we pretended there were no training wheels…

If you’re a bug chaser (real or fantasy) and in NYC, definitely hit me up. I wanna breed you while you beg me to poz you. But offer is off the table if you’re PNPing… Real pigs don’t need drugs to have good sex.

I stayed about 3 1/2 hours and fucked 14 different guys before my dick became uncooperative. But that’s still a pretty good tally for a night. The place where it’s held doesn’t have any beds, so I almost never cum when I’m there, so it wasn’t a surprise that I didn’t cum this time.

I honestly can’t remember all the guys I fucked. So here are just a few highlights.

There was this one Latino early on who I fucked briefly who’s hole felt really good on my cock. But he was generally pretty picky and that was the only time he let me fuck him. His hole was the only one that might have gotten me to cum standing up. It’s too bad he didn’t let me fuck him again.

A fuck buddy / friend of mine was there. He’s black with a hot athletic body. Fucked him for a while. His hole felt nice and tight.

There was this really little versatile black guy had a leather collar and harness on and was maybe 5 foot tall with a tight little body. Fucked him a couple of times. One time there was a literal line for “the hot bottom” and I was waiting my turn with a hard dick and he backed onto my cock and then bent over the hot bottom. It was a hot scene.

I don’t think I ever got to fuck “the hot bottom” everyone was queued for. I kept giving up and wandering around looking for easier hole. Then when I finally got my turn he was exhausted and quit right as I was gonna fuck him.

Usually the stereotype is big guys as tops and little guys at bottoms, but there were at least two really tall/big bottoms who were going against that stereotype. One was a black guy. I usually don’t go for taller guys when I’m looking for bottoms since I almost never cum with them, but a sex party, why not? One of them was this hairy black guy. His legs were really long and since mine are fairly short (30″ inseam), there was no way I was going to be able to fuck him standing up, so I had him get on all fours on a bench thing. Even then I had to stand a bit on my tippy toes.

The other big/tall bottom was this white guy who was clearly a take-all-loads cumdump. Fucked him two or three times I think.

Oh, that reminds me, there was this one guy early on, had a body that was on the hot side of average (with a hairy back), but what was really notable about him was he was drenched in sweat when no one else was sweating. Clearly on drugs. He was vers and there were times when he was literally dancing around as he fucked bottoms.

Then there was this one tall skinny sub who was so submissive he just waited to be told what to do. I wanted to fuck him, but he was so withdrawn that he was hard to approach so I gave up trying since he never seemed to take the hint that I was interested.

The only sorta negative experience of the evening was when I fucked this one older pig who was bent over the fuck bench in assless rubber shorts. Things smelled a little off when I was fucking him and then when I smelled my dick afterwards it seemed “a bit too musky”, so I had to go wash.

In terms of other guys who were memorable – there was this one guy with a small pierced dick and tattoos. Fucked him for a bit.

And one note – if you’re a chub bottom who’s thinking of going, it’s probably not a good party for you. There was one big chub there. Seemed like a nice guy but he was getting zero attention. I’m not really into chubs, but I sorta felt sorry for him, so when he got on his knees to suck my dick at one point I just went with it. Unfortunately I didn’t see him getting much attention from anyone else.

There are actually so many bottoms that my impression was that it’s fairly competitive for them. I think the party is most enjoyable for tops and vers guys. (If the chub had been a top I think he would have gotten some action.) Usually at the parties bottoms just bend over something and wait for tops to fuck them, but for some reason there wasn’t much of that at this party.

And while it was competitive for bottoms it was also a little weird for tops. There were times when I’d be wandering around with a hardon ready and willing to fuck and couldn’t find a bottom. There’s a definite segment of the crowd that’s inhibited / picky / mostly oral / or a voyeur (pick one). Still, 14 holes in 3 1/2 hours isn’t bad. Imagine if there had been a full crowd with double the number of guys.

When I left it had started snowing. I went over to The Eagle to have a few beers with @PORTaURINAL and nearly landed on my ass several times since my boots have zero traction. But I got there. It was also quieter than usual, but still pretty busy. There was a little sex going on, but not much. By that time my dick was done for the evening, so I didn’t look for guys to fuck… 14 was enough for one night.

I went to the CumUnion party in Queens last week and after a slow start there were tons of bottoms who I managed to fuck. Over the course of the night I think I fucked a dozen different bottoms. Honestly though, when it’s dark it’s sorta hard to keep track of who’s who and whether you’ve fucked the the guy before. I don’t remember them all, but here’s a rundown of the more memorable ones…

The first guy I fucked was this hot, tallish, early-30s (?), athletic, somewhat muscular guy. His hole felt really great. Sorta gripped my dick perfectly. He was clearly there for the loads – didn’t really care what guys looked like – he just wanted to get fucked and take loads. And I did manage to give him a nice big load. Lucky bottom – made his hole nice and cummy early in the evening (always helps bottoms get more loads).

There was this other bottom who was often ass up on the bed. Slid into him and he was all greasy and loose. He seemed ambivalent about getting fucked, so I didn’t fuck him for very long.

Then there was this hot maybe mid-20s blond guy with a slim body and one of those haircuts that’s long on the top and really short on the sides. When I felt his hole it was leaking with cum. I had to have my dick in there so I pushed in. He seemed non-committal about getting fucked by me, but didn’t say to stop either. He just sorta stood there. Didn’t bend over or anything to make it easier so the fuck didn’t last long. But it was hot seeing him the rest of the night bent over taking raw cock. He was sorta the hot twinkish guy who’s figured out he’s a hole…

Speaking of guys who didn’t really help the situation there was this one hot bottom who would chase me and want me to fuck him, but then refuse to get into a good position. I’d push on his back to get him bent over and he’d completely resist and just stay in the position he was in. I felt like telling him to go take Bottoming 101. I mean it’s not just about you – it’s gotta work for the top too. What’s the point of chasing tops if you’re not going to let them enjoy it?

Then there was this slim, short, older guy who was a good reliable bottom. Whenever I had a hardon and couldn’t find a bottom he always seemed to be around and would bend over for me.

I’m pretty sure I managed to cum a second time. There was this Asian (?) guy who was on all fours on the bed (the question mark is because the room was dark and I couldn’t get a good look at him – he might have been Latino). I pushed him down onto his belly and pounded him hard enough that it was sorta painful for him as I’d hit bottom in his hole. All of a sudden his hole was really wet and when I pulled out my dick sorta stopped cooperating. So I’m guessing I came in him and just didn’t feel the orgasm (it happens sometimes).

But it was a fun night of topping. Maybe I’ll do it again soon. If you’re a top and like having a lot of choices of bottoms to fuck, check out the party. Not that I want to tell bottoms to not show up (’cause it’s less hole for me to fuck), but if you’re a total bottom there might not be enough tops for you to be really happy. So best for vers guys and tops.

The 59 fuck sessions is up from 42 the year before, but there have been better years. 2008 was probably my top year – 67 loads over 89 sessions. But even as recent as 2013 I was did 55 loads over 77 sessions.

BUT where things went way up is in the number of fucks I gave – 176. Basically I went to a lot of sex parties last year where I’d fuck multiple guys in one session. Which also explains why I didn’t cum very often. If I cum early in the night then my dick sometimes things it’s done and stops cooperating – which defeats the point of going to a sex party. On the other hand, when I hold out and don’t cum, by the end of the sex party I usually don’t have enough energy to cum. And the other thing that limits how much I cum is the sex party facilities. I can usually only predictably cum when the bottom is on his belly, and the sex club I go to the most often doesn’t have any beds – making it harder for me to cum.

The other thing that is of note in 2015 is me getting back to the gym (started in 2014, but I managed to keep it going). The problem is that I got a shoulder impingement in late October / early November. It was consistent and concerning enough that I took time off from the gym since so much of what you do at the gym hits the shoulders. But it didn’t repair itself, so in late December I finally went to see a doctor about it. And I started physical therapy a few weeks ago. Bottom line is that I lost some muscle mass because of all that. And I’m now getting back to the gym but at a reduced schedule. My physical therapist has me mostly working my back to get things back in order.

So for 2016 I sorta just want more of the same. It would be nice to get to giving 50+ loads. I think the secret to that is to just force myself to get out there at times when I’m not really feeling like having sex. I mean there are periods of a month or more when I just don’t have sex sometimes. If I can eliminate those periods, my numbers will go up.  And then body-wise I just wanna keep at the gym. Perhaps not as much as I was doing since I’m being productive in my programming for some new sites and don’t want to mess that up. But as I get older I see how important fitness is.